- Location
- Mi
They'd still need a topper though. (And I just got the image in my head of Minimu kidnapping the bride topper and making off with the groom topper)
Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]
- Thread starter theJMPer
- Start date
- Location
- Nowhere
Guys, the chibi Mutsu model is the topper, with mini-Richardson and miniMu figurines. Possibly doing... something, courtesy of Iku and her antics.
Harry Leferts
Suave Shadow Cabal Kaiju
A bit of a crosspost from SB...
Distraction? Distraction:
A Tug-Chan beside CSS Acadia as she says hi while going past newer vessels. A ship who's done it all, oceanographic ship (first mission involved being stuck in ice that crushed another vessel, heading out having rescued the crew, plowed through a hurricane, then doing a survey of Sable Island, the Graveyard of the Atlantic), served in the Royal Canadian Navy in both World Wars, survived the Halifax Explosion, rescued people from a plane crash and another time helped evacuate whole towns ahead of a forest fire to get them to safety, and is now a museum ship (survived Hurricane Juan at her berth while some other ships and boats around her sank).
Also a bit of a movie star with the following roles:
When she arrived in Halifax for the first time, she was described as having "The graceful lines of a yacht and the heart of a Battleship".
Distraction? Distraction:
A Tug-Chan beside CSS Acadia as she says hi while going past newer vessels. A ship who's done it all, oceanographic ship (first mission involved being stuck in ice that crushed another vessel, heading out having rescued the crew, plowed through a hurricane, then doing a survey of Sable Island, the Graveyard of the Atlantic), served in the Royal Canadian Navy in both World Wars, survived the Halifax Explosion, rescued people from a plane crash and another time helped evacuate whole towns ahead of a forest fire to get them to safety, and is now a museum ship (survived Hurricane Juan at her berth while some other ships and boats around her sank).
Also a bit of a movie star with the following roles:
When she arrived in Halifax for the first time, she was described as having "The graceful lines of a yacht and the heart of a Battleship".
Fanart: 'laska but more so
Burning Baron
This position needs more entrenching.
- Location
- In here, not out there.
That sucks, but yay 'laska.
ijnfleetadmiral
CinC Rengo Kanmusutai
- Location
- Admiral's Bridge, HIJMS Kongo
There are pieces of IJN warships all over Japan. A lot of Mutsu was salvaged in the 1970s and numerous pieces are in a museum in Towa-cho. Others include an anchor from Hatsushimo, one of Sawakaze's turbines, and an anchor from Yakumo.
Google search for 'Mutsu chibi'.
- Location
- 'Murica
'laska a cute!I was bored. Classes were suspended and a storm is currently passing by.
Have sum 'laska.
- Location
- Nowhere
Huh. Guess it worked for you.
B-baka!
Frustrated Art
- Location
- Some town in the Philippines
Tell me, can you drown in fanart?
...
Don't worry, I shall drown you in fanart.
Skywalker_T-65
Writer with too many ideas.
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- Plural/They/He/Her
The Sky still gets no fanart.
Old Iron
Admiral Unfun
- Location
- The Southwestern Deadlands of America
It is a good death!
- Location
- Nowhere
Same here. Or better yet, drown my in good fanfics!
Burning Baron
This position needs more entrenching.
- Location
- In here, not out there.
We could.
B-baka!
Frustrated Art
- Location
- Some town in the Philippines
Maybe someday sky. Someday.
Grounders10
Nine-Tailed Kitsune
- Location
- British Columbia, Canada, Mars
... That's a heck of a resume.
Trace Coburn
BattleTech Starfighter Analyst
- Location
- NDBBM, New Zealand
Jersey's been there, done that, and got the T-shirt.
Acadia? Her picture is on the damn T-shirt.
Acadia? Her picture is on the damn T-shirt.
B-baka!
Frustrated Art
- Location
- Some town in the Philippines
Time to start the fanartboarding session then!
- Location
- Nowhere
I volunteer!
Harry Leferts
Suave Shadow Cabal Kaiju
Pretty much. Her duty during the wars were patrols just outside the harbour where U-Boats liked to lurk (at least two ships sank on a single day for example) and to protect convoys reaching the gathering point. Near the end of WWII, her duty was mainly training RCN personnel. As one aside? She served from September 1913 all the way to November 1969 without stop except for the usual maintenance and refits.
Granted, I don't expect her to show up here and I sort of hope she doesn't as her displacement is low enough that she would likely show up as an animal... and she doesn't deserve that.
- Location
- Somewhere between here and there
In regards to the chapter where Jersey finally got her Kai, I've invented a new term to describe what exactly happened to her .
Poification
noun
The process by which a shipgirl becomes more like Yuudachi in physical appearance, personality, mannerisms, or speech patterns.
Poification
noun
The process by which a shipgirl becomes more like Yuudachi in physical appearance, personality, mannerisms, or speech patterns.
Omake: A certain lady
Old Iron
Admiral Unfun
- Location
- The Southwestern Deadlands of America
* * * * *
Arizona gazed down the battered runway at a figure who was pacing back and forth without any sign of stopping.
That figure was her elder sister. Her tormented, hateful, and sometimes painfully awkward sister.
And she had been trying for days to find the right moment to speak with her.
At Commander New Jersey's urging, she had sought out Pennsylvania and finally break the ice. She didn't really consider the near disaster with Yamashiro to have really counted and the sinking of the Nazi Abyssals was more of a shared moment of kinship than really taking down the wall between them. But it had felt nice to have that moment regardless.
However whatever powers that be were obviously conspiring against her. If it wasn't one interruption, it was another. To make it worse, those were liberally doused with distractions that only furthered her irritation. She would have found the whole thing comical if what she was intending to do wasn't so serious. Oh, she'd look back on this and get a good chuckle or two out of it. But definitely not now.
Now with their time left on the island growing short, Arizona had dotted every 'i', crossed every 't', and made it quite clear that she was not to be interrupted unless an Abyssal task force made the ill-advised decision to attempt retaking the island. Or some other equivalent disaster. She refused to leave this place without having done something to well and truly bridge the gap between herself and Pennsylvania. For better or worse, she would demolish that wall. With a sledgehammer if need be.
With purposeful strides, Arizona strode towards her pacing sister. Pennsylvania didn't seem to acknowledge her approach. Or if she did, then there was nothing to show for it. Just the repetitive orbits around some invisible point on the cracked concrete.
"Pennsy," called out Arizona as she came to a halt only a few steps from Pennsylvania. However only the sounds of the island and the heavy footfalls of her sister answered her.
She allowed a few moments to pass before addressing the other redhead again to no avail.
And a third time.
"Oh, that does it. Pennsylvania!" Arizona raised her hands to the sides of her mouth and hollered at her sister, her impressive set of lungs producing such a volume that she wouldn't be surprised if half the island heard her.
Her frown turned into a small grin when Pennsylvania jumped in shock and let out a startled yelp. Not one of genuine fright. Instead it was something closer to having an ice cube put down the back of one's shirt. It was actually kind of funny to see such a reaction coming from her elder sister.
She almost decided that laughing would be worth the extra ire it would cause. Almost.
"Wha!?" Pennsylvania whirled around, a hand clutched to her breast and an angry glare in her crimson eyes. "Missy! Don't you dare do that again. We're on watch!"
Arizona blinked as confusion took over her expression. Missy? Pennsy had never called her that. Not once. She'd never even hinted at calling her anything other than some manipulation of her name.
Before she could comment, Pennsylvania closed the distance and placed a finger rather roughly against her sternum. There was something off about her eyes, too. They were still their bright, unyielding red. But something wasn't there anymore. Not a spark of anger or anything. They were just... blank.
"Do you want the Japs to sneak up on us? Because screwing around is exactly what'll let them do it. One second. One damn second is all they need to line up a good shot. Shell. Torpedo. A bomb. It doesn't matter!" Pennsylvania leaned in further and snarled. "I don't care whether you're fresh off the slip or Constitution herself. You will not be anything other than absolutely diligent every moment of every day!"
Arizona raised her hands to push Pennsylvania back, but found herself having to take a step back for balance as her sister pushed herself closer.
"Got it, Mississippi?"
Arizona felt a chill go down her spine. She knew she looked a lot like a New Mexico-class battleship. And a slew of others as well. That was part and parcel of being part of a standardized design.
But never could she have imagined that her own sister would mistake her for someone else. They were nearly identical to each other!
"I said, got it?" Pennsylvania drove her index finger against Arizona's chest again and pulled her out of the momentary shock.
"I'm not Mississippi. I-"
"...Tennessee?" Pennsylvania paused, cutting off Arizona with a look of confusion. She blinked a few times and squinted as if that would help identify who she was berating. "Or Cali-No. You have to be Mississippi. Now stop screwing around and keep your eye peeled."
"It's Arizona, Pennsy!" Arizona reached out and grasped Pennsylvania's shoulders firmly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was the only other standard here, much less in the world at the moment so far as she knew. Panic began to set in as her voice raised. "Me! Ari! We're on Woody Island. We helped take the islands back from the Abyssal Fleet. Don't you remember?"
"If you're joking, I'm not laughing." Pennsylvania shoved Arizona back violently. "I'm not laughing, goddammit!"
"Ari died. That lucky bitch died. She just had to crack one eye open to see the bomb that killed her! I had to wipe the blood of destroyers off my face and live! Don't you dare claim to be her. You scar faced harlot!"
Pennsylvania came to a sudden halt while Arizona felt her blood boil. Lucky? Being blown up in your sleep and having to listen to the screams of your dying crew while you burned and bled out was lucky!? Was Pennsylvania completely insane?
"Do-"
"Who... are you?"
Arizona's throat tightened, choking off her fiery accusation. Between the confusion and the far off look in her sister's eyes, she was certain the question was genuine. But how to answer? Would Pennsy go off the rails again? Would she accept it? She felt paralyzed in a way she'd never felt before. And the inaction burned at her conscience.
"You've got cage masts and guns like I do." She chuckled and smiled slightly, extending a hand. The sharp shift in demeanor nearly broke Arizona's heart while her mind struggled to keep up with what was unfolding. "Well, whatever. I bet you're a standard too. Only makes sense. Pennsylvania. Hull number thirty-eight."
Try again. She'd try again. She had to try..
"Is something wrong?"
"...Arizona. My name is Arizona. Hull number thirty-nine." Slowly, she raised her hand to grasp Pennsylvania's. Her heart thundered in her chest and her boilers felt like they would blow at the drop of a hat. Please. She prayed for her sister to take her hand. Or to wake up. Or anything that would return the sight to her eyes.
Even if it was hate, paranoia, and vitriolic fury, it would be a welcome sight compared to the sister chained down in memories and delusions.
Arizona began to sweat as the clock ticked onward without any real change in Pennsylvania's expression. She just stood there, unblinking and motionless like a wax statue. Only the faint sound of breathing gave any indication there was still life in the woman before her.
"Pennsy?"
Finally, Pennsylvania blinked. An irritable gaze and a frown replaced the empty eyes and slight smile.
"Ari, what in the devil are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"I asked what you're doing." Pennsylvania didn't release Arizona's hand, but she made no indication of finding the contact pleasant or desired. "You don't show up out of the blue to shake someone's hand for no reason. Why are you even shaking my hand in the first place?"
"You don't remember?" Obviously not. But she couldn't help the reflex to ask anyways. "You didn't recognize me at all. You kept calling me Mississippi. And for a moment it was Tennessee and California. Yelling at me about being vigilant and to not goof off while on duty."
The lack of recognition and disbelief in Pennsylvania's eyes tied a knot in her stomach. More so when she considered the hateful tirade that had been inflicted upon her.
"You didn't get hit in the bridge when we were taking on those Nazis, did you? They shouldn't have even scratched your paint much less concussed you. Was it the air raid?" Pennsylvania released her grip and crossed her arms, the shells in her pockets jingling with the movements. A sliver of concern appeared in her eyes, but Arizona wasn't sure if it was real or some illusion borne of desperation.
"N-no. It wasn't either. The raid... was admittedly terrifying. I thought that destroyer had blown up when it launched those missiles. But-" She shook her head, willing away the horrors that existed only in the fearful corners of her mind. They had all survived. Survived and bled the assault dry. She would not let her nightmares twist that memory. She couldn't. An irritable sigh escaped her. "I am not concussed and I haven't been hit in the bridge for that matter."
"You're certainly acting like it though. Go ta-"
"No!" Arizona cut her sister off with a shout. Her hands balled into fists and her eyes gleamed with flecks of gold. "I know what I heard and I know what I saw!"
"You were looking right through me! Talking to me like I was someone else. A-and then you said I-" She cut herself off with an angry shake of her head. Dammit all. Damn it! Why was this happening? "Then you started acting all friendly, like I was fresh off the slip. Like you'd never met me!"
Pennsylvania reached out and grasped Arizona's collar, freezing her in place. From hot to cold and back and forth. A rapidly developing exhaustion was taking it's toll on her and making every second of her emotional roller coaster worse. She didn't want to break. She didn't want to. Not in front of her sister.
"Ari... what. What did I say?" There was an intensity in Pennsylvania's eyes that she had never seen before. A look that held her at bay and would not allow her to avert her gaze.
"That..." She swallowed heavily. "That I was lucky. All I had to do was die. I died while you lived."
"You lie."
"I'm not lying!" A choked sob punched through her confused and frustrated anger. Pennsylvania's grip tightened and began to tear the fabric of her clothes. "I'm not."
Worry and fear began to seep into the edges of Pennsylvania's expression. It was almost alien in how ill suited it looked on her. Slowly her grip lessened. Long moments passed before her hand released Arizona's shirt, falling to her side.
"I'd never. I would never say that!"
"But you did. You made it sound like I had died just yesterday!" Arizona advanced on Pennsylvania, placing gloved hands on her sister's shoulders. Her grip was more than just firm. She was rapidly growing genuinely terrified and her hands camped down with enough force to make Pennsylvania wince. "I'm right here, Pennsy. Right here!"
"Ari, that hu-"
"I'm alive. I've been sailing and fighting and... and living! Living for months now. I've fought monsters. I've sparred against powerful, skilled warships. I've eaten donuts for breakfast and yelled at people for dressing inappropriately. There's a little girl who calls me mother and tries to fight off my nightmares. I nearly lost my best friend to a demon and I raged when I couldn't take vengeance!" She couldn't stop. She was breaking. Breaking and she didn't know what to do. "I'm alive, Pennsy..."
"But whenever I close my eyes, you're not." Arizona stiffened at the admission. It had been delivered so matter-of-factly that it drove a spike into her heart. A spike that twisted when Pennsylvania continued in a detached, empty voice. "I smell the smoke. I feel the heat. I hear the planes and the screams. You die every single time and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
"I'm here though. I'm here now." She was shaking. Her, a battleship, was shaking like a child. There was no shred of her usual dignity and poise left. "Doesn't that count for anything?"
"You weren't there then. You were a burned out hulk sitting at the bottom of the harbor while I had to survive." Pennsylvania raised a hand and clawed at her own face in open frustration. Her other tried and failed to remove Arizona's vice-like grip. "I had to live with that nightmare! You got to die with your failure. I had to live with mine!"
"They couldn't save you. There wasn't enough left. A lost cause. You just lay there, peacefully rotting while they stripped you for parts. Parts I saw everywhere. Reminding me. Mocking me. My little Ari was dead and gone." A hateful snarl hissed past her lips. "And so many more. Men. Ships. All... gone. They killed them all."
"Is there anything? A-Any meaning in me being here?" Arizona's arms were losing their strength. It was hard enough keeping something that resembled a straight face. And she wasn't even sure she was managing that. "What if it was Cassin? Downes? Utah? Anyone else but me standing here? Would it even matter?"
Pennsylvania remained deathly silent.
Arizona's arms fell limply to her sides.
Seconds dragged into minutes.
Arizona's grey eyes never left Pennsylvania's crimson, her vision tunneling. She couldn't bear to look away. Not with this silence reigning.
She had wanted so desperately to connect with her sister. Someone so changed by the war that she barely recognized her anymore. She didn't know how to talk to someone like this. Dammit, she wanted to try though!
This was a second chance. You were never supposed to have a second chance. Ever!
And she was failing spectacularly.
"I don't know."
Arizona staggered back as if she'd been struck.
A pain far worse than anything she'd ever felt coursed through her as she felt her staked heart break.
It wasn't even a pain she could understand. Her hull wasn't torn asunder and her decks weren't aflame. She hadn't suffered a single scratch and still it hurt so much more.
Her chest tightened and she felt herself choke.
"I don't know, dammit!" Pennsylvania shouted in naked fury.
An anguished expression overtook her.
"You're just like that damn cruiser. Like your dear admiral! Prying and stabbing and confusing!" She grasped her head and shook violently. "You all say things so easily. So casually. But I don't know! I don't know how to stop seeing that explosion or how to tune out the yelling. I don't know!"
She glared at Arizona and raised her fist as if she intended to use it. But it fell after an agonized roar escaped her lips.
"I can't stop hating them. I can't stop... being what I am! I don't know how to change. Can I? Do I even want to!?" She fell to her knees and slammed that same fist she'd nearly loosed at Arizona onto the ground. The concrete shattered like glass. "Make snacks for everyone. Don't shoot them in the back. Ignore them. Play nice. Cease-fire agreements. Don't see murderers and corpses around every corner! Try all these things!"
Pennsylvania shook her head again, never looking up.
"I... don't. I can't... Won't. Ari... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry..."
With a cry, Arizona fell upon her sister and embraced her. She nearly had the breath knocked from her lungs when Pennsylvania returned the embrace with what had to be every bit of force she could muster. Steel groaned and bulkheads threatened to give, but she wouldn't dare release her sister. And she had a feeling her sister wouldn't dare let go of her either.
Not now.
She wanted to say something. But she didn't know what. She didn't even know if she could.
Pennsylvania shuddered and she decided it would be far worse to say nothing at all.
"...It's o-" Arizona stopped and took a deep, labored breath.
"I'm here, Pennsy." Her voice heavy, she finally spoke.
"I'm here..."
* * * * *
Arizona gazed down the battered runway at a figure who was pacing back and forth without any sign of stopping.
That figure was her elder sister. Her tormented, hateful, and sometimes painfully awkward sister.
And she had been trying for days to find the right moment to speak with her.
At Commander New Jersey's urging, she had sought out Pennsylvania and finally break the ice. She didn't really consider the near disaster with Yamashiro to have really counted and the sinking of the Nazi Abyssals was more of a shared moment of kinship than really taking down the wall between them. But it had felt nice to have that moment regardless.
However whatever powers that be were obviously conspiring against her. If it wasn't one interruption, it was another. To make it worse, those were liberally doused with distractions that only furthered her irritation. She would have found the whole thing comical if what she was intending to do wasn't so serious. Oh, she'd look back on this and get a good chuckle or two out of it. But definitely not now.
Now with their time left on the island growing short, Arizona had dotted every 'i', crossed every 't', and made it quite clear that she was not to be interrupted unless an Abyssal task force made the ill-advised decision to attempt retaking the island. Or some other equivalent disaster. She refused to leave this place without having done something to well and truly bridge the gap between herself and Pennsylvania. For better or worse, she would demolish that wall. With a sledgehammer if need be.
With purposeful strides, Arizona strode towards her pacing sister. Pennsylvania didn't seem to acknowledge her approach. Or if she did, then there was nothing to show for it. Just the repetitive orbits around some invisible point on the cracked concrete.
"Pennsy," called out Arizona as she came to a halt only a few steps from Pennsylvania. However only the sounds of the island and the heavy footfalls of her sister answered her.
She allowed a few moments to pass before addressing the other redhead again to no avail.
And a third time.
"Oh, that does it. Pennsylvania!" Arizona raised her hands to the sides of her mouth and hollered at her sister, her impressive set of lungs producing such a volume that she wouldn't be surprised if half the island heard her.
Her frown turned into a small grin when Pennsylvania jumped in shock and let out a startled yelp. Not one of genuine fright. Instead it was something closer to having an ice cube put down the back of one's shirt. It was actually kind of funny to see such a reaction coming from her elder sister.
She almost decided that laughing would be worth the extra ire it would cause. Almost.
"Wha!?" Pennsylvania whirled around, a hand clutched to her breast and an angry glare in her crimson eyes. "Missy! Don't you dare do that again. We're on watch!"
Arizona blinked as confusion took over her expression. Missy? Pennsy had never called her that. Not once. She'd never even hinted at calling her anything other than some manipulation of her name.
Before she could comment, Pennsylvania closed the distance and placed a finger rather roughly against her sternum. There was something off about her eyes, too. They were still their bright, unyielding red. But something wasn't there anymore. Not a spark of anger or anything. They were just... blank.
"Do you want the Japs to sneak up on us? Because screwing around is exactly what'll let them do it. One second. One damn second is all they need to line up a good shot. Shell. Torpedo. A bomb. It doesn't matter!" Pennsylvania leaned in further and snarled. "I don't care whether you're fresh off the slip or Constitution herself. You will not be anything other than absolutely diligent every moment of every day!"
Arizona raised her hands to push Pennsylvania back, but found herself having to take a step back for balance as her sister pushed herself closer.
"Got it, Mississippi?"
Arizona felt a chill go down her spine. She knew she looked a lot like a New Mexico-class battleship. And a slew of others as well. That was part and parcel of being part of a standardized design.
But never could she have imagined that her own sister would mistake her for someone else. They were nearly identical to each other!
"I said, got it?" Pennsylvania drove her index finger against Arizona's chest again and pulled her out of the momentary shock.
"I'm not Mississippi. I-"
"...Tennessee?" Pennsylvania paused, cutting off Arizona with a look of confusion. She blinked a few times and squinted as if that would help identify who she was berating. "Or Cali-No. You have to be Mississippi. Now stop screwing around and keep your eye peeled."
"It's Arizona, Pennsy!" Arizona reached out and grasped Pennsylvania's shoulders firmly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was the only other standard here, much less in the world at the moment so far as she knew. Panic began to set in as her voice raised. "Me! Ari! We're on Woody Island. We helped take the islands back from the Abyssal Fleet. Don't you remember?"
"If you're joking, I'm not laughing." Pennsylvania shoved Arizona back violently. "I'm not laughing, goddammit!"
"Ari died. That lucky bitch died. She just had to crack one eye open to see the bomb that killed her! I had to wipe the blood of destroyers off my face and live! Don't you dare claim to be her. You scar faced harlot!"
Pennsylvania came to a sudden halt while Arizona felt her blood boil. Lucky? Being blown up in your sleep and having to listen to the screams of your dying crew while you burned and bled out was lucky!? Was Pennsylvania completely insane?
"Do-"
"Who... are you?"
Arizona's throat tightened, choking off her fiery accusation. Between the confusion and the far off look in her sister's eyes, she was certain the question was genuine. But how to answer? Would Pennsy go off the rails again? Would she accept it? She felt paralyzed in a way she'd never felt before. And the inaction burned at her conscience.
"You've got cage masts and guns like I do." She chuckled and smiled slightly, extending a hand. The sharp shift in demeanor nearly broke Arizona's heart while her mind struggled to keep up with what was unfolding. "Well, whatever. I bet you're a standard too. Only makes sense. Pennsylvania. Hull number thirty-eight."
Try again. She'd try again. She had to try..
"Is something wrong?"
"...Arizona. My name is Arizona. Hull number thirty-nine." Slowly, she raised her hand to grasp Pennsylvania's. Her heart thundered in her chest and her boilers felt like they would blow at the drop of a hat. Please. She prayed for her sister to take her hand. Or to wake up. Or anything that would return the sight to her eyes.
Even if it was hate, paranoia, and vitriolic fury, it would be a welcome sight compared to the sister chained down in memories and delusions.
Arizona began to sweat as the clock ticked onward without any real change in Pennsylvania's expression. She just stood there, unblinking and motionless like a wax statue. Only the faint sound of breathing gave any indication there was still life in the woman before her.
"Pennsy?"
Finally, Pennsylvania blinked. An irritable gaze and a frown replaced the empty eyes and slight smile.
"Ari, what in the devil are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"I asked what you're doing." Pennsylvania didn't release Arizona's hand, but she made no indication of finding the contact pleasant or desired. "You don't show up out of the blue to shake someone's hand for no reason. Why are you even shaking my hand in the first place?"
"You don't remember?" Obviously not. But she couldn't help the reflex to ask anyways. "You didn't recognize me at all. You kept calling me Mississippi. And for a moment it was Tennessee and California. Yelling at me about being vigilant and to not goof off while on duty."
The lack of recognition and disbelief in Pennsylvania's eyes tied a knot in her stomach. More so when she considered the hateful tirade that had been inflicted upon her.
"You didn't get hit in the bridge when we were taking on those Nazis, did you? They shouldn't have even scratched your paint much less concussed you. Was it the air raid?" Pennsylvania released her grip and crossed her arms, the shells in her pockets jingling with the movements. A sliver of concern appeared in her eyes, but Arizona wasn't sure if it was real or some illusion borne of desperation.
"N-no. It wasn't either. The raid... was admittedly terrifying. I thought that destroyer had blown up when it launched those missiles. But-" She shook her head, willing away the horrors that existed only in the fearful corners of her mind. They had all survived. Survived and bled the assault dry. She would not let her nightmares twist that memory. She couldn't. An irritable sigh escaped her. "I am not concussed and I haven't been hit in the bridge for that matter."
"You're certainly acting like it though. Go ta-"
"No!" Arizona cut her sister off with a shout. Her hands balled into fists and her eyes gleamed with flecks of gold. "I know what I heard and I know what I saw!"
"You were looking right through me! Talking to me like I was someone else. A-and then you said I-" She cut herself off with an angry shake of her head. Dammit all. Damn it! Why was this happening? "Then you started acting all friendly, like I was fresh off the slip. Like you'd never met me!"
Pennsylvania reached out and grasped Arizona's collar, freezing her in place. From hot to cold and back and forth. A rapidly developing exhaustion was taking it's toll on her and making every second of her emotional roller coaster worse. She didn't want to break. She didn't want to. Not in front of her sister.
"Ari... what. What did I say?" There was an intensity in Pennsylvania's eyes that she had never seen before. A look that held her at bay and would not allow her to avert her gaze.
"That..." She swallowed heavily. "That I was lucky. All I had to do was die. I died while you lived."
"You lie."
"I'm not lying!" A choked sob punched through her confused and frustrated anger. Pennsylvania's grip tightened and began to tear the fabric of her clothes. "I'm not."
Worry and fear began to seep into the edges of Pennsylvania's expression. It was almost alien in how ill suited it looked on her. Slowly her grip lessened. Long moments passed before her hand released Arizona's shirt, falling to her side.
"I'd never. I would never say that!"
"But you did. You made it sound like I had died just yesterday!" Arizona advanced on Pennsylvania, placing gloved hands on her sister's shoulders. Her grip was more than just firm. She was rapidly growing genuinely terrified and her hands camped down with enough force to make Pennsylvania wince. "I'm right here, Pennsy. Right here!"
"Ari, that hu-"
"I'm alive. I've been sailing and fighting and... and living! Living for months now. I've fought monsters. I've sparred against powerful, skilled warships. I've eaten donuts for breakfast and yelled at people for dressing inappropriately. There's a little girl who calls me mother and tries to fight off my nightmares. I nearly lost my best friend to a demon and I raged when I couldn't take vengeance!" She couldn't stop. She was breaking. Breaking and she didn't know what to do. "I'm alive, Pennsy..."
"But whenever I close my eyes, you're not." Arizona stiffened at the admission. It had been delivered so matter-of-factly that it drove a spike into her heart. A spike that twisted when Pennsylvania continued in a detached, empty voice. "I smell the smoke. I feel the heat. I hear the planes and the screams. You die every single time and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
"I'm here though. I'm here now." She was shaking. Her, a battleship, was shaking like a child. There was no shred of her usual dignity and poise left. "Doesn't that count for anything?"
"You weren't there then. You were a burned out hulk sitting at the bottom of the harbor while I had to survive." Pennsylvania raised a hand and clawed at her own face in open frustration. Her other tried and failed to remove Arizona's vice-like grip. "I had to live with that nightmare! You got to die with your failure. I had to live with mine!"
"They couldn't save you. There wasn't enough left. A lost cause. You just lay there, peacefully rotting while they stripped you for parts. Parts I saw everywhere. Reminding me. Mocking me. My little Ari was dead and gone." A hateful snarl hissed past her lips. "And so many more. Men. Ships. All... gone. They killed them all."
"Is there anything? A-Any meaning in me being here?" Arizona's arms were losing their strength. It was hard enough keeping something that resembled a straight face. And she wasn't even sure she was managing that. "What if it was Cassin? Downes? Utah? Anyone else but me standing here? Would it even matter?"
Pennsylvania remained deathly silent.
Arizona's arms fell limply to her sides.
Seconds dragged into minutes.
Arizona's grey eyes never left Pennsylvania's crimson, her vision tunneling. She couldn't bear to look away. Not with this silence reigning.
She had wanted so desperately to connect with her sister. Someone so changed by the war that she barely recognized her anymore. She didn't know how to talk to someone like this. Dammit, she wanted to try though!
This was a second chance. You were never supposed to have a second chance. Ever!
And she was failing spectacularly.
"I don't know."
Arizona staggered back as if she'd been struck.
A pain far worse than anything she'd ever felt coursed through her as she felt her staked heart break.
It wasn't even a pain she could understand. Her hull wasn't torn asunder and her decks weren't aflame. She hadn't suffered a single scratch and still it hurt so much more.
Her chest tightened and she felt herself choke.
"I don't know, dammit!" Pennsylvania shouted in naked fury.
An anguished expression overtook her.
"You're just like that damn cruiser. Like your dear admiral! Prying and stabbing and confusing!" She grasped her head and shook violently. "You all say things so easily. So casually. But I don't know! I don't know how to stop seeing that explosion or how to tune out the yelling. I don't know!"
She glared at Arizona and raised her fist as if she intended to use it. But it fell after an agonized roar escaped her lips.
"I can't stop hating them. I can't stop... being what I am! I don't know how to change. Can I? Do I even want to!?" She fell to her knees and slammed that same fist she'd nearly loosed at Arizona onto the ground. The concrete shattered like glass. "Make snacks for everyone. Don't shoot them in the back. Ignore them. Play nice. Cease-fire agreements. Don't see murderers and corpses around every corner! Try all these things!"
Pennsylvania shook her head again, never looking up.
"I... don't. I can't... Won't. Ari... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry..."
With a cry, Arizona fell upon her sister and embraced her. She nearly had the breath knocked from her lungs when Pennsylvania returned the embrace with what had to be every bit of force she could muster. Steel groaned and bulkheads threatened to give, but she wouldn't dare release her sister. And she had a feeling her sister wouldn't dare let go of her either.
Not now.
She wanted to say something. But she didn't know what. She didn't even know if she could.
Pennsylvania shuddered and she decided it would be far worse to say nothing at all.
"...It's o-" Arizona stopped and took a deep, labored breath.
"I'm here, Pennsy." Her voice heavy, she finally spoke.
"I'm here..."
* * * * *
Archduke
Don't Take Geology Puns For Granite
- Location
- Texas
Right in the feels. Nice piece of work though. Reminded me of the Pearl Harbour Level in Medal Of Honor: Pacific Assault. That level captured the chaos of the attack very well.
"There's the Arizona! You should be able to board on the far si- BOOM"
"There's the Arizona! You should be able to board on the far si- BOOM"