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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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*eats popcorn while watching harry from a distance blowing up subs*
so in other news, I see JM lurking in here.. perhaps a update coming soonTm​?
 
...

I'm kinda amazed this kind of crappy LiveJournal-grade shitposting happens in here, but in Knight's Steel and Tactical Waifu's the audience actually Gets Shit Done. Kinda tempted to check the rules over and see if this is any reason to summon a Mod.
 
Burning Baron said:
When you need a Cute Battleship to do Cute Battlethings, these things happen.
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Do you see this? This is the face of murder. This is the face of destruction. This is something that respects- not fears, never fears- exactly one ship that outmassed her entire task force.

She's cute now.

She's not so cute when she's hip-deep in an Abyssal Cruiser tearing it's guts apart with her teeth.

Her sisters in arms? They're worse. Fighting off the Center Force was no fluke, make no mistake. They'd do it again, in a heartbeat, with legs or without.
 
7734 said:


Do you see this? This is the face of murder. This is the face of destruction. This is something that respects- not fears, never fears- exactly one ship that outmassed her entire task force.

She's cute now.

She's not so cute when she's hip-deep in an Abyssal Cruiser tearing it's guts apart with her teeth.

Her sisters in arms? They're worse. Fighting off the Center Force was no fluke, make no mistake. They'd do it again, in a heartbeat, with legs or without.
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But can she handle hugs? Especially from J? :V
 
Burning Baron said:
But can she handle hugs? Especially from J? :V
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Lady J respects this ship for one very simple reason- she can and will let rip on anything that even thinks about touching her charges.

Article:
"Aww, sure they do," Sammy says. "Lots of ships have." She throws her head back and laughs, a happy, bright giggle that belongs on a playground, not a naval base. "No matter how bad you fuck up a torpedo shot, at least you're not Mogami!"

"WHO SAID THAT!?" a voice bellows from behind the low wall that separates the dorm yard from the sidewalk. You curse under your breath and redouble your limp, hoping to reach them before some poor IJN ship sticks her hand in the loaded bear-trap that is Sammy.

You don't make it, because a girl comes bashing through the flimsy aluminum gate, looking around furiously. Her short, boyish hair flies about her face as her head swivels around, searching – before locking onto the tallest target available; Willie. She stomps into the yard, her round, feminine cheeks already puffing out into a pretty impressive pout as she bears down on Willie. The Fletcher-class destroyer is shaking so hard that she can't even retreat properly; just shuffle backwards before the bigger, stronger ship.


"You!" boy-cut demands. She pokes Willie in the chest, and the poor girl nearly topples. "Who the heck are you, huh!?"

Willie emits a series of strangled sounds that can't even qualify as stuttering; just flummoxed, confused terror.

"That hurt my feelings!" she says bluntly, planting her hands on her hips as she leans over the DD. "They can't even prove it was my spread. Sunda Strait was confusing, you know?"

"Y-y-you-"

"Yes," the girl snaps at Willie. "Me. Mogami." She crosses her arms and looks off into space, her pout growing ever more pronounced. "You Americans don't understand how tough night battle is, because you never do it. Besides, we won the battle anyway!"

"Sure did!" Sammy says brightly, counting off on her fingers: "One torpedo spread, two enemy cruisers, seven vessels sunk – totally sweet kill ratio, right?"

"We refloated two of them!"

"Two for three!" Sammy returns with a big grin. "At least you're fair!"

Mogami's arms snap rigid at her sides, her fists getting tighter as her face flushes red. "WHY YOU-"


"Mogami!" a new voice cries from the gate. You gasp with relief and pause, wiping sweat from your eyes – your leg is *screaming*. You belatedly remember you didn't take any painkillers this morning; since you slept in a chair in the hospital. Did you pop any when you visited your room? Not enough, not nearly enough. But thank god, help has arrived faster than you could. You get your eyes to focus just as the new girl comes up behind Mogami and places a hand on her shoulder. She's quite lovely; a pretty face framed by long, flowing dark hair. Her head seems decorated with some kind of antenna array; radial supports ringed with thin wire aerials; like a wire-frame halo. "Mogami, everyone made mistakes. We've all got a second chance now!"

"Thanks, mom," Sammy says dourly.

"Hmm- oh!" the new girl says with surprise. She leans over a little as she beams at Sammy. "You must be new. Are you a destroyer?"

"Destroyer escort," Sammy boasts, puffing out her chest.

The Japanese ship claps a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, Mogami, isn't she cute?"

Mogami gazes down at the freckle-faced, pigtailed redhead, and you feel your heart soar with elation as her severe pout slips clean off her face. "Mmmmm," she murmurs noncommittally, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "Sokay."


"I'm sorry about Mogami," the new girl apologies. "She tries really hard, and just wants people to praise her for it-"

"I do no-"

"And she's very shy-"

"I am not!" Mogami objects, turning redder by the moment.

"So, can we be friends?" asks antenna-girl. She leans over even further, cocking her head and smiling so bright and sweet that you think Sammy might actually go for it. The little DE is pouting herself now, looking off to one side like she's considering it.

"Mmmm," she mumbles.

"Hmm?" antenna-ship says, leaning in a little more. "I didn't know American ships could be so cute~" she sing-songs, reaching out and rubbing Sammy's head affectionately. "Please forgive Mogami."

"Mmmbleh," Sammy says.

"I can't hear yooou~" antenna-girl says, turning up her charm so much that you think you smell cinnamon buns.

Sammy stands on tip-toe, placing her mouth next to the larger girl's ear, and replies at last – just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Two for flinching, bitch~"

Pure, pencil-pushing dildo instinct guides your smartphone out of your pocket and hits the camcorder button just in time to catch the shattering of the ship who can only be Choukai's good mood; recording the horrified realization as it spreads her face.

And then Sammy snaps an uppercut right into the bottom of the poor cruiser's jaw. Choukai's head snaps up so violently that her glasses are knocked down over her nose, then Sammy's fist connects with her jaw, spinning her around violently. Before the battered girl can gain her bearings, Sammy winds up and plants one adorably-oversized boot in Choukai's shapely ass, sending her sprawling to bite a mouthful of turf.

It happens so goddamned fast that Mogami is still gaping, uncomprehending, when Sammy rushes her. The tomboyish ship squeals in fright and dances back, swinging swiftly at her attacker – but Sammy just ducks underneath the heavy blow with ease and launches herself at Mogami, screaming like an engine turbine on meth. The hapless heavy cruiser's courage breaks and she turns to run – right into one of the small cherry trees decorating the yard. She hits with an awful "CLUNK!" and rebounds off it, tripping over the fallen Choukai and landing on her back.


And then Sammy's GOT her. The wee DE seizes the bottom of Mogami's red jacket and YANKS it upwards, pulling it over the heavy cruiser's arms and face. Mogami wails in terrified panic; her legs flailing wildly; but Sammy's already sitting astride her bared belly, cracking her knuckles loudly enough that you can hear it over the din.

"NOW BITCH," Sammy says, drawing back a fist and aiming at Mogami's exposed solar plexus, right beneath the clasp of her black sports bra. "YOU GOAN LEARN!"

"HEY! *yet another* victim demands from the gate. Sammy's head snaps up to find a long-legged, green-clad cruiser girl staring at the tableau like someone who's just walked in on a wolf gorging itself on its latest kill. Her eyes widen in horror as a memory stabs through the haze of eighty years slumber.


"Oh god no," Chikuma breathes.

"GOD CAN'T HELP YOU NOW!" Sammy cries, and she's springing off Mogami like a bullet, her childish voice lending a horrific dissonance to her mad, mad laughter of supreme satisfaction as it chases Chikuma's parting scream into the streets of Yokosuka.

You put your smartphone away, making sure to save the video. Trying to stop that would be akin to National Geographic photographers trying to save the gazelles from the lions halfway through filming – and the recording is your proof. Nobody can blame you after seeing this.

You check your watch, noting the time elapsed since you reached the base a day or two ago.

You kept her in check longer than you'd expected to, all things told.
Source: Shipgirl-on-Shipgirl Representation of Angry Sammy
 
twitch


Anyway, the latest spree of bad RP was...just this page. Like, literally, just a handful of posts. No reason whatsoever to call in a mod. I would understand if it had been several pages, but a few people (more like two or three at best) getting overenthusiastic is hardly a bad thing so long as they stop when asked by the author.

Which they did.


Anyway:

 
7734 said:
...

I'm kinda amazed this kind of crappy LiveJournal-grade shitposting happens in here, but in Knight's Steel and Tactical Waifu's the audience actually Gets Shit Done. Kinda tempted to check the rules over and see if this is any reason to summon a Mod.
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theJMPer said:
This is crappy even for this thread. I think they're restless.
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Skywalker_T-65 said:
Anyway, the latest spree of bad RP was...just this page. Like, literally, just a handful of posts. No reason whatsoever to call in a mod. I would understand if it had been several pages, but a few people (more like two or three at best) getting overenthusiastic is hardly a bad thing so long as they stop when asked by the author.

Which they did.
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And keep in mind, I'm right here, waiting. And I'm only too happy to help @theJMPer keep order in here if he says the word.

...Sammy is awesome. Best DE ever.
 
Can I get a link to that story with that Sammy B 7734?
You just need to learn how to skip over that bad stuff.
Still I always find Mutsu's collar in those two pics (the Ara? And Glasses ver.) vaguely off-putting. I don't know why but it feels off, I think her neck is too long.
Hmmm Mutsu teasing Richardson with a mooring rope attached to her collar.
 
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