- Location
- State of Denial
That's the thing about being pessimistic, you're either correct or pleasantly surprised.
Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]
- Thread starter theJMPer
- Start date
Burning Baron
This position needs more entrenching.
- Location
- In here, not out there.
Yes, they did. Germany did as well. Even the 'victors' were almost unanimously in ruins. General George C. Marshall, Chief of Staff of the US Army, made sure of that. And then, he became Secretary of State under Truman, and earned himself a Nobel Peace Prize, by legislating the greatest humanitarian movement in American history, the Marshall Plan. After being responsible for tearing Germany and Japan to pieces, he helped put the world back together again, via reconstruction, massive donations of food, the Berlin Airlift and economical support. People then and now criticize it, but the alternative was letting people starve under the Soviets. And this wasn't two or three decades down the line. He got it passed almost immediately after the war ended.
Wikipedia said:
Goerge Marshall moved on, but more importantly, showed the world that it was ok to move on.
We're only as big a monster as we let ourselves be.
Harry Leferts
Suave Shadow Cabal Kaiju
In honor of a certain movie... have an omake:
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Raising her eyes from her paperwork, Arizona frowned as both Richardson and Jintsuu were watching something when a name from whatever they were watching caused her to blink in surprise. "Kong?"
Despite some of the awkwardness between them since the incident a few months back, Richardson only nodded as he glanced up from what he was watching. "Mmm, they're making another King Kong movie, this one though looks pretty good."
All Arizona did though was lean back in thought before she nodded. "I see... another one? So they made more of them?"
Looking up, Richardson suddenly began to chuckle. "That's right, you would have been around when the first one was made, weren't you?"
There was a far off expression on Arizona's face before she nodded. "It was an... interesting movie, pretty frightening all told." Much to their surprise, a shiver went through the Battleship before she smiled. "Quite frightening as a matter of fact."
Jintsuu smiled a bit as she leaned against Richardson's chair before laughing. "Yeah... it was kind of scary for the day."
Yet another shudder went through Arizona's body before she frowned. "Especially that bit with the pit."
Confused, Jintsuu looked toward Richardson who was now staring at Arizona with wide eyes. "Pit...? I don't remember any pit..."
For several moments, Richardson worked his jaw before he stood up slowly. "Your crew members... saw the Spider Pit sequence... you're not pulling my leg?"
Softly snorting, Arizona shook her head though she was bemused at the way that the Admiral was acting. "It was shown on myself to some of my crew. After all I was... in a movie myself so some of them knew people in the business." Her expression became thoughtful as she sent a query to her crew and received an answer back. "As a matter of fact... it seems that I have the reel in question on me right now."
It was a shaking Admiral who walked forward and then placed his hands on the Battleship's desk. "You have the reel for it... that sequence..."
Just raising an eyebrow, Arizona looked toward Jintsuu who only shrugged. The Yeoman's expression stating that she didn't understand what was going on either. Turning back to Richardson, Arizona noted that he was rather close to her and felt a slight heat in her cheeks. "Yes... I have it." Reaching into her coat, she pulled out an old fashioned film reel and then held it out. "Here."
Gently and with reverence, Richardson took the reel with wide eyes. "My God... Arizona... you just made history."
All the Battleship did was furrow her eyebrows. "I see..."
If anything though, she was even more confused the next day at the sheer number of emails from people she had never heard of thanking her for handing over the reel.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Raising her eyes from her paperwork, Arizona frowned as both Richardson and Jintsuu were watching something when a name from whatever they were watching caused her to blink in surprise. "Kong?"
Despite some of the awkwardness between them since the incident a few months back, Richardson only nodded as he glanced up from what he was watching. "Mmm, they're making another King Kong movie, this one though looks pretty good."
All Arizona did though was lean back in thought before she nodded. "I see... another one? So they made more of them?"
Looking up, Richardson suddenly began to chuckle. "That's right, you would have been around when the first one was made, weren't you?"
There was a far off expression on Arizona's face before she nodded. "It was an... interesting movie, pretty frightening all told." Much to their surprise, a shiver went through the Battleship before she smiled. "Quite frightening as a matter of fact."
Jintsuu smiled a bit as she leaned against Richardson's chair before laughing. "Yeah... it was kind of scary for the day."
Yet another shudder went through Arizona's body before she frowned. "Especially that bit with the pit."
Confused, Jintsuu looked toward Richardson who was now staring at Arizona with wide eyes. "Pit...? I don't remember any pit..."
For several moments, Richardson worked his jaw before he stood up slowly. "Your crew members... saw the Spider Pit sequence... you're not pulling my leg?"
Softly snorting, Arizona shook her head though she was bemused at the way that the Admiral was acting. "It was shown on myself to some of my crew. After all I was... in a movie myself so some of them knew people in the business." Her expression became thoughtful as she sent a query to her crew and received an answer back. "As a matter of fact... it seems that I have the reel in question on me right now."
It was a shaking Admiral who walked forward and then placed his hands on the Battleship's desk. "You have the reel for it... that sequence..."
Just raising an eyebrow, Arizona looked toward Jintsuu who only shrugged. The Yeoman's expression stating that she didn't understand what was going on either. Turning back to Richardson, Arizona noted that he was rather close to her and felt a slight heat in her cheeks. "Yes... I have it." Reaching into her coat, she pulled out an old fashioned film reel and then held it out. "Here."
Gently and with reverence, Richardson took the reel with wide eyes. "My God... Arizona... you just made history."
All the Battleship did was furrow her eyebrows. "I see..."
If anything though, she was even more confused the next day at the sheer number of emails from people she had never heard of thanking her for handing over the reel.
Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
You know... there's a really insulting dirty joke about finding spiders inside a woman. But I like Ari, so I won't make it.
Harry Leferts
Suave Shadow Cabal Kaiju
Arizona: *Aims guns* Good choice.
That said... that film sequence was lost and is one of the most sought after. It was to the point where Peter Jackson actually used some of his time and money to create as good a recreation as he could from what little information was left. And goddamn, if it was as it was said, it would be frightening today.
Harry Leferts
Suave Shadow Cabal Kaiju
It's a sequence in the original film where the crew were chased onto a log by a dinosaur. As they're crossing though, Kong shows up and begins to knock them off into a pit where they proceed to get killed and devoured by various monsters (one's a hog faced lizard, another's a crab-like monster, a giant spider, and finally a octopus/insect hybrid kills the final one). Meanwhile, a two legged lizard climbs up a vine until said vine is cut. This is Peter Jackson's recreation:
However, Cooper cut it from the film despite O'Brian stating it was his best work because "It stopped the story". Only a few people ever saw the actual sequence in pre-screenings and such and it's been lost ever since (probably because... Cooper had a habit of burning those sequences edited out). There has been a lot of searching and debating going on about it.
Skywalker_T-65
Writer with too many ideas.
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- Plural/They/He/Her
No argument here.
And on that note...
Coffee Fairy has a friend
- Location
- 'Murica
That's her usual mode, and she's still really obviously not a boy.
Stahor
BookWorm
- Location
- Russia, Moscow
Random question:
During WW2 newly build ships was able to see each other.
Kongou was talking to Mikasa, but it was left unclear, was she listening or asleep.
Question is: do shipgirls see spirits of modern ships? (I expect they can see spirit of Missouri, but in details will not be revealed before they meet).
And if yes, was there any meetings between japan kanmusu and JMSDF ships? Many destroyers use old names, and it's implied that Kaga was summoned early enough to see DDH Kaga. Hmm.. On other hand, she may be was summond due to sinking of DDH Kaga...
Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
Jersey: "Ugh. Please don't remind me that my big sister decided to take fashion tips from Mushitits."
- Location
- 'Murica
That was left unclear for a reason.
JS Kaga only hit the water in late August 2015, almost a solid year after the war started, Kaga came back earlier than that. Also, Shina's met a few DDGs when she came home after her first strike, but she was too exhausted and shy to pay them much attention.
Gale's friends... are idiots.
- Location
- 'Murica
Yeoman Gale hummed a tuneless little ditty to herself as she pushed her tray down the lunch line. It'd start off as her own interpretation of Anchors Aweigh, but then she'd gotten lost and started slipping into the Avengers theme. Gale was many things and she had many talents, but she'd be the first to admit she couldn't carry a tune to save her life. Not that she was particularly upset about that right now. The chow line had corned beef.
Gale loved Corned beef, although she could never quite articulate why. But something about it always made her feel content. To sweeten the deal even further, Wash was on-station somewhere off the Oregon coast right now! Gale could indulge in a second helping without the North Carolina's tiny little waist staring judgmentally at her.
Of course, Gale was happy to have Wash out of her hair regardless. The battleship had been acting increasingly odd ever since she got divisioned up with Kirishima. Part of Gale's mind still wanted to entertain the idea that she still had a shot with the stunningly pretty battleship, but… But as dreamy as falling asleep against those soft, warm breasts, Gale was certain by this point it was just a dream.
She was still happy for Wash, of course. The two of them were still friends, and she appreciated how sensitive Wash was being about the whole thing. But she knew she and Kirshima were an item now. Every time she'd walk by the battleship dorms, she'd see the lights on in Wash's room. She'd see their shadows frantically pacing about like schoolgirls stumbling though their first relationship.
And she'd seen Wash blushing a brilliant red and nervously handing Kirishima a Axis and Allies: Naval Miniatures box on Christmas day. Gale'd been eyeing some of those sets herself, and she was quite aware of their content. Honestly, she never would have pegged Wash as such an exhibitionist. Maybe it was a good thing she never got into a relationship with the battleship. If she was that forward, Gale was worried that she'd never quite walk right again.
But those were thoughts for another time. Wash and Kirishima were out on patrol, and it was lunch time.
Lunch was one of the few bastions left for Gale and her fellow female sailors. It was the only time they could feed themselves without having to witness the impossibly gluttony of the hungrier shipgirls and their equally impossible figures.
Battleships—and Carriers too, from what Gale had heard from her Japanese compatriots in the Midlevel-NCO-information-network—subsisted on two or sometimes just one massive meal a day. Sharing breakfast or dinner with them was murder on your self esteem, but they rarely showed up at lunch time.
Cruisers ate three times a day, but their appetite weren't as inhumanly vast as a battleship's. Besides, they corralled destroyers so Gale didn't have to. That alone earned them a free pass to the buffet line in Gale's book. It also gave the plausible excuse that they burned off all their calories running around keeping the insane torpedo-heads in line.
Speaking of Destroyers… the little shits ate six times a day minimum. Although most often their meals had the approximate nutritional content of nine boxes of pop-tarts drowned in sugar. If those girls were human, the'd have all the diabetes by now.
Today though, the mess hall was entirely human. Wash had taken Kidd's DesRon with her on patrol, England's escort fleet was puttering up and down the coast looking for subs, and the chunniboat's kids were helping her though the emotional trauma of her latest 'quest.' Gale wasn't privy to the details, although she did know it somehow involved Tenryuu loosing a swordfight to an inanimate cardboard box.
"Yo, Doc." Gale kicked a seat out with her boot. "You mind if I sit here?"
Crowning glanced up with that kindly smile of his. "Of course not, it's a pleasure to see you."
Gale smiled a bit more. The doc always had a way of making her feel extra loved. No wonder Jersey was so in love with him. "What're ya working on?" She waved a hunk of bread at the stack of books and scribbled-over notepads the doctor'd brought with him. It was an interesting collection: Three books on naval history though the ages, two on Japanese mythology, Janes' Shipgirl-to-human conversion handbook, and two guide books on pregnancy and motherhood.
Crowning shrugged. "What aren't I working on?"
"Why don't we start with this?" Gale stuffed a mouthful of corned beef into her mouth and waved her fork at the doctor's copy of What to Expect when you're Expecting.
"Right," The salt-and-pepper of the professor's beard tinged a gentle pink as he blushed. "Kat Solette was kind enough to lend me that one." He chuckled and leafed though the pages. The book had accumulated quite the number of post-it notes. Some were in Crowning's crisp handwriting, but many were in a looser, frantic script that Gale didn't recognize.
Gale motioned for him to continue while she chewed.
"Vestal…" Crowning huffed out a breath. "Ordered me to give Jersey a child."
Gale spewed her entire mouthful over the table with a choking laugh. "WHAT?"
"You heard me."
"I…" Gale wiped at her mouth with the back of her sleeve. "I… I did, but I just don't believe it." As hilarious as the mental image of Jersey finally loosing those chiseled abs for a bit of pooch around her middle was, Gale just couldn't imagine Vestal giving that order. "She really told you that?"
"Well… not in so many words," said Crowning.
"Ah, so it's just wistful thinking, eh?"
The professor just shrugged.
Gale smirked, and took a triumphant bite.
"Her exact words were 'knock that battleship up'."
Gale again spewed her entire mouthful over the table. "Not cool!"
Crowning flashed a teasing grin. "I could't resist."
"I swear," Gale scowled and cleaned up as best she could. "The two of you are perfect for one another." She started to take another bite, then thought better of it. "Have fun feeding her cravings."
"That's what I'm worried about," said Crowning. "You know how much she eats on a normal day?"
"No," Gale waved her spoon in a mildly threatening manner. "And I don't want to. Talk about something else."
"Gladly," Crowning shoved the motherhood books to the bottom of his stack. "Let's see…" His brows furrowed in thought while he drummed out a lazy cadence against the table. "Oh… I've got a theory on why carriers are so rare."
Gale blinked.
"Would you like to hear it?"
"Yes!" Gale almost snapped. "That's… that's the biggest mystery of this whole damn war! Of course I want to hear it!"
"Well," Crowning leaned in, the flickering glee of a storyteller coming over his face. "Remember back when I talked about the Aeneid?"
Gale nodded. "Yeah, the first recorded appearance of shipgirls, right?"
"Yes, but that wasn't always the explanation," said Crowning. "Before academia was confronted with the reality of ship spirits, we always assumed the ships rose again because…" The professor paused, taking a moment to gather his words while Gale leaned in even closer. "Because it wasn't worthy of them. They'd gone though so many trials, only to die without dignity… it wasn't fitting."
"Doc," said Gale in a voice halfway to a wispier. "Get to the point."
"Now we know that that's not the case." Crowning happily ignored Gale's eagerness. This was his story, and he was going to take his time spelling it out for her. "But I think the logic's still sound."
Gale blinked.
"Battleships were supposed to be the queens of the sea," said the professor. "When their guns speak, history listens. Only that never happened. Not once. Jutland was the closest we ever got, and even that was a pale shadow of the deceive brawl these girls were built for."
"Yeah," Gale nodded. "Yeah, but the decisive battle got thrown out when planes and subs became a thing. A battle line's just a magnet for bombs and torpedoes."
"I know." Crowning held up a finger. "But that leaves us with a whole generation of girls who've never once done what they were born to do. Only now they're back, and the old gods of the sea have taken planes and submarines out of the equation."
"So…" Gale shook her head. "So where does that leave us? Some random omniscient being has a hard-on for battleships?"
"Yes," Crowning shrugged. "But I think it means there's more going on here than we think."
It was a good way to pass the time. And with any luck, it would be engaging enough to drive out the horribly lewd images that had taken Musashi's brain by storm after she'd seen Jersey naked.
Because seriously… how can anyone be that ripped! Jersey's chiseled body displayed muscles Musashi didn't even know existed! And that's not even getting into the swoosh of her hips and surprising roundness of her stern. Musashi didn't even know it was possible to have a stern so perfectly, smoothly rounded. It had taken all her self control not to reach out and grab a handful when the two battleships shared their bath.
Only it hadn't. Because… much to Musashi's eternal shame… she was scared to. She hated to admit it, but her whole body froze up when she felt the American's hull kiss hers.
She was jealous. She admitted it. Her guns were bigger, her armor thicker… but Jersey was just so much more… perfect. The American's chest was perkier than Musashi's would ever be, her lines finer and sculpted with care… She was a stunner with looks that'd kill for miles around in any weather.
Musashi just couldn't compete with that. Not really. The best she could hope to do was tie the towering American. And she wasn't even sure she could do that. Word on the street was Jersey'd already locked herself at least one husband. And given how promiscuous Americans tended to be, Musashi wouldn't be surprised if half the country was lining up to pleasure her.
Musashi scowled, and tore her glasses off her nose. She was a ship of the Imperial Navy. She was built to fight all commerce and awe them with her canons. She would not let a single American harlot cow her with mere hips and stern and—
Wait…
Was someone at the door?
Musashi took a second to clean her glasses with the end of her cape-that-was-most-certainly-not-just-a-shirt-draped-over-her-shoulders. Then she took another to fiddle with her bandages and armor, making sure her assets were on proper display. It would be a shame, after all, do deprive the world of such magnificent works of art!
"Coming," said Musashi.
"That's what she said," giggled a dusky contralto that Musashi would know anywhere. Mostly because just its honey-rich sound made her feel things of a nature that was best left out of any official report. It was her.
The American.
Jersey.
But Musashi was the most powerful battleship ever built. She would not run like a scared dog or Italian when confronted with her nominally-equal. Jersey was a paltry tier nine, after all. The battleship wiped the fear off her face and replaced it with a toothy, predatory grin.
"I, Musashi!" she bellowed and threw the door open, "Did indeed say this thing."
The towering American on the other side of the doorway shook her head with a smirk. But there was… something on her face. Sadness, worry… something that gave Musashi pause. As undeniably gigantic as Jersey was, there was something in her posture that made her look very small. "Yo."
"Jersey," Musashi crossed her arms under her ample bosom, subtly lifting and squishing them against her straining bindings in a manner that was in no way a desperate attempt to preen for attention. "It's almost eleven, what brings you here?"
"I…" Jersey shrugged and shoved her hands into her pockets. "I couldn't sleep, okay? Can I come in?"
Musashi shrugged. Her little room didn't have many furnishings besides her computer, and she'd already hidden all the potentially embarrassing stuff where Jersey wouldn't be able to find it.
"Look," Jersey bit her lip. "I'm lonely."
Musashi tried to hide her sudden surge of interest.
"I lost my little sister." If the American noticed her Japanese counterpart's desperate attempt to sit casually on the side of her bed—an attempt that included about a solid minute of flailing after one of Musashi's heels caught on the black fabric of her discarded bikini—she didn't show it.
"I can't sleep alone," said Jersey as she flopped onto the bed next to Musashi. Steel groaned with the immense weight of two superbattleships trying to share a single king-sized mattress. "I'm horny as fuck, and you've got the only bed big enough for me."
Musashi blinked as fast as her howling heartrate. "Wait… say that again?"
Jersey blinked. "You've got the only bed big enough?" The battleship waved over herself, "I'm… kinda large you know, and I'd rather not—"
"No," Musashi shook her head, "The other part."
"Oh," Jersey hung her head. "I… look, sometimes… It's nice to have a picket while you sleep. Helps keep the bad dreams away."
Musashi shot Jersey a look that could have melted steel. "No… the middle bit."
Jersey scowled like she was having to explain something patently obvious to a very small child. "I haven't fucked anything in a sexual manner in months. I'm Navy. I didn't know that kind of restraint was even possible."
"But…" Musashi trailed off. She couldn't imagine something like this was actually happening! "We're both…"
"Yeah," Jersey shrugged. "I dunno, how hard could it be."
On the other side of the world, Yeoman Gale stared at her phone in utter incomprehension. She'd gotten into the habit of checking her email and texts when she woke up. Sometimes there'd be updates to planned events, schedule changes, or the odd menu readjustment when a hungry division had eaten the kitchen's entire stock of something or other.
But this time, she'd gotten a personal text message from Jersey herself. Which raised the obvious question, when did Jersey learn to text?
But that question paled in comparison to the actual content of the message.
USS New Jersey said: "Yo, Gale. How do I lesbian?"
Gale shook her head. She truly did live with idiots.
Gale loved Corned beef, although she could never quite articulate why. But something about it always made her feel content. To sweeten the deal even further, Wash was on-station somewhere off the Oregon coast right now! Gale could indulge in a second helping without the North Carolina's tiny little waist staring judgmentally at her.
Of course, Gale was happy to have Wash out of her hair regardless. The battleship had been acting increasingly odd ever since she got divisioned up with Kirishima. Part of Gale's mind still wanted to entertain the idea that she still had a shot with the stunningly pretty battleship, but… But as dreamy as falling asleep against those soft, warm breasts, Gale was certain by this point it was just a dream.
She was still happy for Wash, of course. The two of them were still friends, and she appreciated how sensitive Wash was being about the whole thing. But she knew she and Kirshima were an item now. Every time she'd walk by the battleship dorms, she'd see the lights on in Wash's room. She'd see their shadows frantically pacing about like schoolgirls stumbling though their first relationship.
And she'd seen Wash blushing a brilliant red and nervously handing Kirishima a Axis and Allies: Naval Miniatures box on Christmas day. Gale'd been eyeing some of those sets herself, and she was quite aware of their content. Honestly, she never would have pegged Wash as such an exhibitionist. Maybe it was a good thing she never got into a relationship with the battleship. If she was that forward, Gale was worried that she'd never quite walk right again.
But those were thoughts for another time. Wash and Kirishima were out on patrol, and it was lunch time.
Lunch was one of the few bastions left for Gale and her fellow female sailors. It was the only time they could feed themselves without having to witness the impossibly gluttony of the hungrier shipgirls and their equally impossible figures.
Battleships—and Carriers too, from what Gale had heard from her Japanese compatriots in the Midlevel-NCO-information-network—subsisted on two or sometimes just one massive meal a day. Sharing breakfast or dinner with them was murder on your self esteem, but they rarely showed up at lunch time.
Cruisers ate three times a day, but their appetite weren't as inhumanly vast as a battleship's. Besides, they corralled destroyers so Gale didn't have to. That alone earned them a free pass to the buffet line in Gale's book. It also gave the plausible excuse that they burned off all their calories running around keeping the insane torpedo-heads in line.
Speaking of Destroyers… the little shits ate six times a day minimum. Although most often their meals had the approximate nutritional content of nine boxes of pop-tarts drowned in sugar. If those girls were human, the'd have all the diabetes by now.
Today though, the mess hall was entirely human. Wash had taken Kidd's DesRon with her on patrol, England's escort fleet was puttering up and down the coast looking for subs, and the chunniboat's kids were helping her though the emotional trauma of her latest 'quest.' Gale wasn't privy to the details, although she did know it somehow involved Tenryuu loosing a swordfight to an inanimate cardboard box.
"Yo, Doc." Gale kicked a seat out with her boot. "You mind if I sit here?"
Crowning glanced up with that kindly smile of his. "Of course not, it's a pleasure to see you."
Gale smiled a bit more. The doc always had a way of making her feel extra loved. No wonder Jersey was so in love with him. "What're ya working on?" She waved a hunk of bread at the stack of books and scribbled-over notepads the doctor'd brought with him. It was an interesting collection: Three books on naval history though the ages, two on Japanese mythology, Janes' Shipgirl-to-human conversion handbook, and two guide books on pregnancy and motherhood.
Crowning shrugged. "What aren't I working on?"
"Why don't we start with this?" Gale stuffed a mouthful of corned beef into her mouth and waved her fork at the doctor's copy of What to Expect when you're Expecting.
"Right," The salt-and-pepper of the professor's beard tinged a gentle pink as he blushed. "Kat Solette was kind enough to lend me that one." He chuckled and leafed though the pages. The book had accumulated quite the number of post-it notes. Some were in Crowning's crisp handwriting, but many were in a looser, frantic script that Gale didn't recognize.
Gale motioned for him to continue while she chewed.
"Vestal…" Crowning huffed out a breath. "Ordered me to give Jersey a child."
Gale spewed her entire mouthful over the table with a choking laugh. "WHAT?"
"You heard me."
"I…" Gale wiped at her mouth with the back of her sleeve. "I… I did, but I just don't believe it." As hilarious as the mental image of Jersey finally loosing those chiseled abs for a bit of pooch around her middle was, Gale just couldn't imagine Vestal giving that order. "She really told you that?"
"Well… not in so many words," said Crowning.
"Ah, so it's just wistful thinking, eh?"
The professor just shrugged.
Gale smirked, and took a triumphant bite.
"Her exact words were 'knock that battleship up'."
Gale again spewed her entire mouthful over the table. "Not cool!"
Crowning flashed a teasing grin. "I could't resist."
"I swear," Gale scowled and cleaned up as best she could. "The two of you are perfect for one another." She started to take another bite, then thought better of it. "Have fun feeding her cravings."
"That's what I'm worried about," said Crowning. "You know how much she eats on a normal day?"
"No," Gale waved her spoon in a mildly threatening manner. "And I don't want to. Talk about something else."
"Gladly," Crowning shoved the motherhood books to the bottom of his stack. "Let's see…" His brows furrowed in thought while he drummed out a lazy cadence against the table. "Oh… I've got a theory on why carriers are so rare."
Gale blinked.
"Would you like to hear it?"
"Yes!" Gale almost snapped. "That's… that's the biggest mystery of this whole damn war! Of course I want to hear it!"
"Well," Crowning leaned in, the flickering glee of a storyteller coming over his face. "Remember back when I talked about the Aeneid?"
Gale nodded. "Yeah, the first recorded appearance of shipgirls, right?"
"Yes, but that wasn't always the explanation," said Crowning. "Before academia was confronted with the reality of ship spirits, we always assumed the ships rose again because…" The professor paused, taking a moment to gather his words while Gale leaned in even closer. "Because it wasn't worthy of them. They'd gone though so many trials, only to die without dignity… it wasn't fitting."
"Doc," said Gale in a voice halfway to a wispier. "Get to the point."
"Now we know that that's not the case." Crowning happily ignored Gale's eagerness. This was his story, and he was going to take his time spelling it out for her. "But I think the logic's still sound."
Gale blinked.
"Battleships were supposed to be the queens of the sea," said the professor. "When their guns speak, history listens. Only that never happened. Not once. Jutland was the closest we ever got, and even that was a pale shadow of the deceive brawl these girls were built for."
"Yeah," Gale nodded. "Yeah, but the decisive battle got thrown out when planes and subs became a thing. A battle line's just a magnet for bombs and torpedoes."
"I know." Crowning held up a finger. "But that leaves us with a whole generation of girls who've never once done what they were born to do. Only now they're back, and the old gods of the sea have taken planes and submarines out of the equation."
"So…" Gale shook her head. "So where does that leave us? Some random omniscient being has a hard-on for battleships?"
"Yes," Crowning shrugged. "But I think it means there's more going on here than we think."
—|—|—
Battleship Musashi rubbed her hands in anticipation while her laptop slowly booted up. In her long seclusion, she'd developed quite the taste for gaming in general, and World of Warships in particular. Even if those biased Russians made Yamato so horrifically under powered it was a mockery to Japan in general and her in particular, the rest of the game was pretty enjoyable.It was a good way to pass the time. And with any luck, it would be engaging enough to drive out the horribly lewd images that had taken Musashi's brain by storm after she'd seen Jersey naked.
Because seriously… how can anyone be that ripped! Jersey's chiseled body displayed muscles Musashi didn't even know existed! And that's not even getting into the swoosh of her hips and surprising roundness of her stern. Musashi didn't even know it was possible to have a stern so perfectly, smoothly rounded. It had taken all her self control not to reach out and grab a handful when the two battleships shared their bath.
Only it hadn't. Because… much to Musashi's eternal shame… she was scared to. She hated to admit it, but her whole body froze up when she felt the American's hull kiss hers.
She was jealous. She admitted it. Her guns were bigger, her armor thicker… but Jersey was just so much more… perfect. The American's chest was perkier than Musashi's would ever be, her lines finer and sculpted with care… She was a stunner with looks that'd kill for miles around in any weather.
Musashi just couldn't compete with that. Not really. The best she could hope to do was tie the towering American. And she wasn't even sure she could do that. Word on the street was Jersey'd already locked herself at least one husband. And given how promiscuous Americans tended to be, Musashi wouldn't be surprised if half the country was lining up to pleasure her.
Musashi scowled, and tore her glasses off her nose. She was a ship of the Imperial Navy. She was built to fight all commerce and awe them with her canons. She would not let a single American harlot cow her with mere hips and stern and—
Wait…
Was someone at the door?
Musashi took a second to clean her glasses with the end of her cape-that-was-most-certainly-not-just-a-shirt-draped-over-her-shoulders. Then she took another to fiddle with her bandages and armor, making sure her assets were on proper display. It would be a shame, after all, do deprive the world of such magnificent works of art!
"Coming," said Musashi.
"That's what she said," giggled a dusky contralto that Musashi would know anywhere. Mostly because just its honey-rich sound made her feel things of a nature that was best left out of any official report. It was her.
The American.
Jersey.
But Musashi was the most powerful battleship ever built. She would not run like a scared dog or Italian when confronted with her nominally-equal. Jersey was a paltry tier nine, after all. The battleship wiped the fear off her face and replaced it with a toothy, predatory grin.
"I, Musashi!" she bellowed and threw the door open, "Did indeed say this thing."
The towering American on the other side of the doorway shook her head with a smirk. But there was… something on her face. Sadness, worry… something that gave Musashi pause. As undeniably gigantic as Jersey was, there was something in her posture that made her look very small. "Yo."
"Jersey," Musashi crossed her arms under her ample bosom, subtly lifting and squishing them against her straining bindings in a manner that was in no way a desperate attempt to preen for attention. "It's almost eleven, what brings you here?"
"I…" Jersey shrugged and shoved her hands into her pockets. "I couldn't sleep, okay? Can I come in?"
Musashi shrugged. Her little room didn't have many furnishings besides her computer, and she'd already hidden all the potentially embarrassing stuff where Jersey wouldn't be able to find it.
"Look," Jersey bit her lip. "I'm lonely."
Musashi tried to hide her sudden surge of interest.
"I lost my little sister." If the American noticed her Japanese counterpart's desperate attempt to sit casually on the side of her bed—an attempt that included about a solid minute of flailing after one of Musashi's heels caught on the black fabric of her discarded bikini—she didn't show it.
"I can't sleep alone," said Jersey as she flopped onto the bed next to Musashi. Steel groaned with the immense weight of two superbattleships trying to share a single king-sized mattress. "I'm horny as fuck, and you've got the only bed big enough for me."
Musashi blinked as fast as her howling heartrate. "Wait… say that again?"
Jersey blinked. "You've got the only bed big enough?" The battleship waved over herself, "I'm… kinda large you know, and I'd rather not—"
"No," Musashi shook her head, "The other part."
"Oh," Jersey hung her head. "I… look, sometimes… It's nice to have a picket while you sleep. Helps keep the bad dreams away."
Musashi shot Jersey a look that could have melted steel. "No… the middle bit."
Jersey scowled like she was having to explain something patently obvious to a very small child. "I haven't fucked anything in a sexual manner in months. I'm Navy. I didn't know that kind of restraint was even possible."
"But…" Musashi trailed off. She couldn't imagine something like this was actually happening! "We're both…"
"Yeah," Jersey shrugged. "I dunno, how hard could it be."
—|—|—
On the other side of the world, Yeoman Gale stared at her phone in utter incomprehension. She'd gotten into the habit of checking her email and texts when she woke up. Sometimes there'd be updates to planned events, schedule changes, or the odd menu readjustment when a hungry division had eaten the kitchen's entire stock of something or other.
But this time, she'd gotten a personal text message from Jersey herself. Which raised the obvious question, when did Jersey learn to text?
But that question paled in comparison to the actual content of the message.
USS New Jersey said: "Yo, Gale. How do I lesbian?"
Gale shook her head. She truly did live with idiots.
- Location
- Plato's Cave
Richardson
CAN YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?
- Location
- Yes
I must like because I cannot Picard.
Goddamnit, Jersey, you piealicious dipshit.
Stahor
BookWorm
- Location
- Russia, Moscow
Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
*opens mouth*
*closes mouth*
YES! YES! YES! YEAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! I WIN! I! FUCKING! WIN!
I called it! All ya'll betting on Crowning pay up!
EDIT:
A certain historian is going to either rage or hit the bunk.
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Harry Leferts
Suave Shadow Cabal Kaiju
Is it bad that I kind of want Wash and Kirishima to overhear Gale say that she's basically given up on being with Wash because said Battleship is with Kirishima? Mainly because this is becoming sort of painful now.
Though I do still ship Washimagale.
Though I do still ship Washimagale.
- Location
- United States, EST
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So basically, Gale, Wash, and Kirishima need to be hit 'round the head with the Stupid Stick* while being told "All of you like each other! All! Of! You! Except between Gale and Kirishima, and that can be arraigned!" Then they need to be locked in a room with a bed, singular, and some basic supplies. For about a week.
*The Stupid Stick is very slightly stronger than your average pool noodle. It's meant to punctuate the person using it's exclamations and allow them to get some frustration out without hurting any of the involved parties anywhere but their pride.
Meanwhile, the JerseyxCrowningxMusashi situation is going... Somewhere. More observation required.
*The Stupid Stick is very slightly stronger than your average pool noodle. It's meant to punctuate the person using it's exclamations and allow them to get some frustration out without hurting any of the involved parties anywhere but their pride.
Meanwhile, the JerseyxCrowningxMusashi situation is going... Somewhere. More observation required.
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Burning Baron
This position needs more entrenching.
- Location
- In here, not out there.
All according to keikaku.
- Location
- Canada
Washingale will be a thing, one day! *believes*
JuliusClonkus
Scatterbrained Speculator
- Location
- Federal Reichspublic of Karlsland
Math has taught me the beauty of triangles, and thus I agree that we should make more of them. Proper triangles. Triangles in which all points are connected by lines.
obssesednuker
Commander of 10 Million Men
- Location
- In the Kremlin, activating Perimtr.
Well goddamn it my shipping charts need to be fixed up again.
Generic_Generica
Notice me Senpai~
- Location
- Right behind you
(Sighs)
You know it says something about me that I enjoy dumb romcom shenanigans. I don't know what it says about me but I do know it says something about me.
(Eyes @theJMPer.)
No, Gale was on the mark with this one.
...
I have nothing else to say. I got nothing. I'm empty.