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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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Who could be firing all these shots? Is there anyone we know famous for firing vast amounts of shells at things she found distaseful?
 
Well, if that someone doesn't stop, I'll send them on a date nex-*shot* *shot* *shot*
 
Watch Shima try to squeeze Ari in to the prudest, floofiest dress she can in an effort to keep the slow standard from showing her up again.
 
obssesednuker said:
I wonder if showing Pennsy that video of Kaga making the apology and offer of Seppuku would help ameliorate Pennstlvania's anger or puss her even more off.

Anyways, will update the FFN archive tomorrow.
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I'm personally guessing that it would piss her off even more, along the lines of 'you dare to think that you're worthy of resting alongside my sister's hull,' or something similar. I doubt Pennsylvania is much of a fan of Kaga...or any Japanese carrier. And Pennsylvania strikes me as the type to take offense at Kaga placing her corpse at Pearl Harbor, though I doubt she'd object to the seppuku.
 
Or, she would react by saying something along the lines of 'I sentence you to live. To live with the burden of all that you've done.'
 
Personally, when I picture USN battleship shipgirls, I picture them being informed by the character of their state while they were in service.

So as an example, to me, Nevada doesn't have "Las Vegas showgirl" in her DNA, because Las Vegas was only just starting to build up its casino industry in the '30s and '40s. If she'd stayed around into the '80s and '90s like Jersey, she'd have a lot more Vegas in her, and a lot less "dusty prospector" and "cattle rancher."

Colorado being chronically high is funny but would tend to go against my expectations, for the same reason.

Dirtnap said:
I'm just waiting for Lolorado. Seriosuly, the girl has some issues with hitting a target.

I'm not sure if I can dig up the shot plotting from that one exercise she had since i'm at work but suffice to say, of the USN Big Seven, she had the worst accuracy.
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Ah, but was it that particular exercise, or her career as a whole? I believe I've seen those particular shot plots, and to me they stink of bad luck rather than incompetence. Competence might explain hitting half as often as the fleet's better gunnery ships... but it wouldn't normally explain hitting one fifth or one sixth as often. If that were any kind of a consistent pattern, someone would step in to do something about it.
 
What the actual-

... well, on second thought, it's not a bad costume. After all the kowai displays one finds in the internet, one would expect this to be much worse.
 
theJMPer said:
Who could be firing all these shots? Is there anyone we know famous for firing vast amounts of shells at things she found distaseful?
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"Penny, Penny, Penny, we need to stage an Intervention. Your answer to every problem cannot be 'I'mma gonna shell it some more'. Especially when it comes to relationships through which we're trying to heal your sister with. You don't want to make your sister irritated with you because all her potential suitors keep on hiding behind her, do-"*Is shot.*
 
We really, really need to find an interlocutor who's immune to 14" gunfire. Unfortunately, the best candidates I can think of are... utterly unsuitable.

So it's that, or pray for one of the gentler Standards to show up. Nevada, maybe. She's cheerful, right?
 
Simon_Jester said:
We really, really need to find an interlocutor who's immune to 14" gunfire. Unfortunately, the best candidates I can think of are... utterly unsuitable.

So it's that, or pray for one of the gentler Standards to show up. Nevada, maybe. She's cheerful, right?
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you mean the other PH battleship to lose a sister and who effectively got blue balled even worse then Pennsy when it came to revenge...
 
The most stable Standards are going to be the New Mexico sisters. Not one of them at Pearl, so no trauma from that. I mean, one could make an arugment that they aren't stable, but I would find it hard to believe.
 
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Omake: A Certain Lady welcomes one of her own
  • Threadmarks
    • One of last 6 USS Arizona survivors from Pearl Harbor attack dies

    I don't intend for this to be a great epic or a supreme example of writing ability.

    I just want to write something. Whatever this means to someone, somewhere, whether they know it exists or not, I wanted to do it.

    * * * * *

    In the dead of night, illuminated by the lights dotting the base and all along the pier, Battleship Arizona sat alone.

    Or at least as alone as one could be with the company of spirits.

    Her nightgown clad self was wrapped up in a thick robe of simple dark grey. She let one leg dangle over the edge of the concrete whilst she pulled the other knee close. Her grey eyes stormed with emotion as she wept freely.

    She had felt this before, many months ago. A great stabbing pain in her heart. Worse than any armor piercer could ever hope to inflict.

    Her crews rejoiced and sang. They danced and they mourned. They saluted and they embraced as they prepared for the arrival of a long lost friend.

    While Sasebo's Autumn waters lapped against the reinforced walls of the naval base, Arizona could only reminisce. Memories of that young man. His feet pounding against the deck as he ran to and fro. His laughter as he made merry with friends and shipmates. His dedication as he manned his post. His terror and his anger as he fought for his life while she died and took his comrades with her.

    Unlike last time, she had not burst into her Admiral's bedroom awash with grief.

    Rather she had disregarded decency and simply left the house in her current attire.

    It was not that she wished to avoid disturbing everyone. Rather she simply wished to be alone with her despair and her welcoming of the sixth who made the count five with his passing.

    Her crews would welcome their old friend with open arms.

    They were mortal men all.

    And to death, all such men are equal.

    Whether by time or by fire.

    Death comes to all and no armor and no gun could stave it off forever.

    It did not make the hurt any easier to bear.

    Part of her was glad no one was around to see her so stricken with grief. All but wailing under the cloudy night sky. Her shoulders shaking and her face dripping tears and snot. Each sob brought up another and another.

    And as the color guard stepped into sight, she knew it was time.

    Time once more.

    Time to welcome someone home.

    "Permission to come aboard ma'am."

    She stood from her seat, no longer Sasebo's concrete dock but her own steel deck. With a shaky hand, she returned the salute given to her by the young man. A face she remembered quite clearly.

    "Permission granted, sailor."

    And as he smiled and his shipmates surged to welcome him, Arizona whispered once more.

    "Welcome home."

    * * * * *
     
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    • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH! MY EMOTIONS! I'M FEELING COMPLICATED EMOTIONS! WHY?!
     
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