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Anderson Quest: Killing Vampires and Werewolves and Leprechauns (Hellsing/Bloodborne)

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[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
 
[] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Mmm, what do people think of this recently touted thingamajig?
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.

This plan seems simpler, but I still doubt that the Orphan will just stay put while Anderson sets up a barrier. Don't they take some time to set up?
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
-[X] If you get a free moment, fill the placenta with explosives, any damage will render it a less effective weapon if the little fucker tries to receive it.

Throwing up a ward seems like it'd take too long in such a fast-paced fight.

Honestly in hindsight we should've brought some more support. Though I'm not sure how much use Eileen would be.
 
[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
No. of Votes: 5
EVA-Saiyajin
Manic Dogma
menosay
PsyFarrow
reborn214

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
No. of Votes: 4
Ashmaker
draconas
Krain
Mikeline

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] "Oi! Simon! Get ready for the world's first fish-man skeet shoot!"
--[X] Occupy Flounder the Failed Fetus until Simons' readied his gatling gun.
---[X] "Djura, get me an opening!"
----[X] Dash forward and underneath your fishy foe, brace yourself, and punch.
-----[X] WITH THE FIST OF A FALSE GOD!
------[X] With your newly aquired spring loaded Amygdala fist, launch the abomination towards the heavens where it will face cleansing fire in the form of Simons bullets! (And a few of your explosive bayonets as well.)
-------[X] Throw down a ward where it's body will fall afterwards, and finish off the wretched creature if it still lives.
No. of Votes: 3
NeverDies
ChildishChimera
Cybershadowninja

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] "Oi! Simon! Get ready for the world's first fish-man skeet shoot!"
--[X] Occupy Flounder the Failed Fetus until Simons' readied his bow.
---[X] "Djura, destroy the placenta err... thing? Just squish it!"
---[X] "Djura, get me an opening!"
----[X] Dash forward and underneath your fishy foe, brace yourself, and punch.
-----[X] WITH THE FIST OF A FALSE GOD!
------[X] With your newly aquired spring loaded Amygdala fist, launch the abomination towards the heavens where it will face cleansing fire in the form of Djura's bullets and Simon's arrows! (And a few of your explosive bayonets as well.)
-------[X] Throw down a ward where it's body will fall afterwards, and finish off the wretched creature if it still lives.
No. of Votes: 3
EndGamer
Cheap Orange Knofe
WinterLantern

[X] With that placenta- thing gone, it has no choice but to get up close and personal, and without the sweeping range it can't fight you all at once at a distance. You'll kite it for a bit with Djura via bayonets and give Simon time to recover. If it goes after you you'll play chicken and wear it down from all sides. If it goes after one of your comrades, you'll take the opportunity for a strong strike from the flank while it's distracted.
No. of Votes: 2
Malaquez
Kektus

[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all a time once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
No. of Votes: 1
CrossyCross

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
-[X] If you get a free moment, fill the placenta with explosives, any damage will render it a less effective weapon if the little fucker tries to receive it.
No. of Votes: 1
Argus Yomoflach

Total No. of Voters: 19

Yeahhhhhh this is a bit weird to parse. One hour until votes close.
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
 
TypeSpider said:
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
That barrier will quite possibly take too long.
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
 
Tricia said:
[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
No. of Votes: 5
EVA-Saiyajin
Manic Dogma
menosay
PsyFarrow
reborn214

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
No. of Votes: 4
Ashmaker
draconas
Krain
Mikeline

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] "Oi! Simon! Get ready for the world's first fish-man skeet shoot!"
--[X] Occupy Flounder the Failed Fetus until Simons' readied his gatling gun.
---[X] "Djura, get me an opening!"
----[X] Dash forward and underneath your fishy foe, brace yourself, and punch.
-----[X] WITH THE FIST OF A FALSE GOD!
------[X] With your newly aquired spring loaded Amygdala fist, launch the abomination towards the heavens where it will face cleansing fire in the form of Simons bullets! (And a few of your explosive bayonets as well.)
-------[X] Throw down a ward where it's body will fall afterwards, and finish off the wretched creature if it still lives.
No. of Votes: 3
NeverDies
ChildishChimera
Cybershadowninja

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] "Oi! Simon! Get ready for the world's first fish-man skeet shoot!"
--[X] Occupy Flounder the Failed Fetus until Simons' readied his bow.
---[X] "Djura, destroy the placenta err... thing? Just squish it!"
---[X] "Djura, get me an opening!"
----[X] Dash forward and underneath your fishy foe, brace yourself, and punch.
-----[X] WITH THE FIST OF A FALSE GOD!
------[X] With your newly aquired spring loaded Amygdala fist, launch the abomination towards the heavens where it will face cleansing fire in the form of Djura's bullets and Simon's arrows! (And a few of your explosive bayonets as well.)
-------[X] Throw down a ward where it's body will fall afterwards, and finish off the wretched creature if it still lives.
No. of Votes: 3
EndGamer
Cheap Orange Knofe
WinterLantern

[X] With that placenta- thing gone, it has no choice but to get up close and personal, and without the sweeping range it can't fight you all at once at a distance. You'll kite it for a bit with Djura via bayonets and give Simon time to recover. If it goes after you you'll play chicken and wear it down from all sides. If it goes after one of your comrades, you'll take the opportunity for a strong strike from the flank while it's distracted.
No. of Votes: 2
Malaquez
Kektus

[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all a time once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
No. of Votes: 1
CrossyCross

[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
-[X] If you get a free moment, fill the placenta with explosives, any damage will render it a less effective weapon if the little fucker tries to receive it.
No. of Votes: 1
Argus Yomoflach

Total No. of Voters: 19

Yeahhhhhh this is a bit weird to parse. One hour until votes close.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Mmm, Crossy's is "[] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath." it just had some issues in that I made some grammatical corrections, but he got it before I fixed it. You'll notice the "all a time once" that is indicative of my mistake.
 
[X] Throw a bayonet towards the cliff face Simon is struggling on to give him an anchor point.
-[X] Throw up a quick barrier around the placenta. Whether it holds or not (God forgive me) it'll serve well as a trap if the little fucker tries to retrieve it.
-[X] Without the placenta it can't fight you all at once. You'll handle melee while your comrades handle range, using the distractions you give each other as openings and not giving him time to breath.
 
Aaaand closed.

Placenta Barrier: Auto-success (creativity bonus)
Anderson in melee: 40% damage, 40% minor damage, 10% serious damage
Djura at range: 30%/30%/5%
Simon at range: 30%/30%/5%
Orphan:
vs. Anderson: 30% damage, 20% serious damage
???: 30% damage/30% serious each

Writin'
 
Last edited:
Oh, cool.

My own idea I created but was uncertain of in actuality was in fact an auto-success. Life's ironic like that sometimes.

And it looks like, judging from the change in success rates for Simon, that the bayonet did in fact help.

So, my apologies I guess for saying it wasn't gonna help.
 
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vs. Orphan of Kos: The Child Abuses Back
  • Threadmarks
    • "Quitcher bitchin'," you say through a smile. "Same thing happened ta me when I came out and I turned out fine."

    The Orphan, in a clear case of abandonment issues, makes a beeline for its lost weapon. From behind, Djura shreds the sand around its feet with a fresh stream of gunfire that, in its panicked state, the creature can't avoid. A round punches through its calf and the Orphan makes its first ungraceful move of the fight, eating shit on the bloodstained sand. It scrambles up and, at least for the moment, abandons its pursuit in favor of going after the old man.

    While the crazy newborn bludgeoning machine is away, the Anderson will play.

    "Simon, heads up!"

    You hurl a bayonet into the cliff face by his hands and he latches on, working his way back towards a better foothold. While he does that, you launch a storm of nails and pages that lock the placenta away until Kos Jr. can learn to be responsible with its toys.

    "Coming your way," Djura huffs from your left side, a monumentally pissed Orphan hot on his tail. You tag in with a sweep of your bayonets and he makes distance once again. The creature is somehow even wilder than before, letting you land a bevy of cuts on its thrashing limbs. Punches and kicks and elbows flow together in an unbroken dance that steadily trails more and more blood in its wake.

    Then it gets the bright idea to grab you.

    As you swing for its neck, it catches you by the wrist and yanks you towards it. You start to slip forward, but it helpfully stops your forward momentum by driving one of the slabs of depleted uranium it calls fists directly into your face. Your jaw cracks instantly and teeth go flying. It hurts like a motherfuck, but the worst part is that the punch knocked out your front teeth; as you know from experience, all your quips are going to have little whistles until the damn things grow back.

    Before you can tell it to sssssuck a dick, it grabs you behind the head with both hands in the universal symbol for "I am going to knee you in the face until there is nothing left between my knees and my palms." You force your posture as straight as possible and jack its jaw with uppercuts as it tries to wrangle you back into proper smashing position, an effort somewhat hampered by the arrow Simon puts in its shoulder. With a bark of anger, it wrenches you between itself and Simon and slams an elbow into your damaged jaw. You tip forward, a viscous mix of blood and mucous pouring from your face, and watch as the knee locks onto its target.

    The Gatling whir picks up again. The Orphan's head whips towards it and, for just a moment, its monstrous grip slackens. Your brain catches hold of the reins once more and you drive a bayonet into the pierced shoulder. Two more vicious stabs part the bone entirely and the creature's left arm crashes to the ground.

    Its next scream has an unmistakable hint of fear swirled in it. The Orphan hurls you away and charges towards Djura, dodging a follow-up arrow by the skin of its teeth. Its speed just isn't there anymore with the damaged leg and the old man tenses to leap away and start the merry chase again.

    He times it perfectly. Then the twin flaps of flesh on the Orphan's back stir and send it hurtling into him shoulder-first. Djura goes flying back and tumbles along the sand for quite a ways. It bellows and lightning engulfs your world.

    Your instincts, honed by various ill-fated attempts to capture a Thunderbird, launch you clear of the blast. The resulting thunder blows out your eardrums, but tinnitus is a foe you have bested many times before and you quickly shake it off. You can see Simon scrambling away from his own near-miss, while Djura struggles to his feet with burns branching across his body like the root system of some parasitic plant.

    Strained, powerful breaths draw your attention towards the shoreline, where the Orphan is struggling with its warded placenta. You can see the flesh of its remaining hand bubble and blister as it tries to force its way through, ultimately abandoning it and instead returning to its fallen arm. It picks it up and bites down on the shoulder. The sunlight writhes through its wings and it slams the arm down hard enough to shatter the nearest outcropping of glass.

    You have a newfound respect for Mama Anderson putting up with your tantrums.

    [] Write in...

    --

    CURRENT STATUSES:

    Anderson: Shattered jaw, nearly deafened, equilibrium issues.

    Simon: Frazzled, deafened.

    Djura: Severely burned, deafened. Has blood vials.

    Orphan: Severed arm currently held in teeth, puncture wound in left calf.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Tricia said:
    From behind, Djura shreds the sand around its feet with a fresh stream of gunfire that, in its panicked state, the creature can't avoid. A round punches through its calf and the Orphan makes its first ungraceful move of the fight, eating shit on the bloodstained sand.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    The creature is somehow even wilder than before, letting you land a bevy of cuts on its thrashing limbs. Punches and kicks and elbows flow together in an unbroken dance that steadily trails more and more blood in its wake.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    an effort somewhat hampered by the arrow Simon puts in its shoulder.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    The Gatling whir picks up again. The Orphan's head whips towards it and, for just a moment, its monstrous grip slackens. Your brain catches hold of the reins once more and you drive a bayonet into the pierced shoulder. Two more vicious stabs part the bone entirely and the creature's left arm crashes to the ground.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Orphan: Severed arm currently held in teeth, puncture wound in left calf.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Huh. Just what did the Orphan do to piss off the dice?
     
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