- Location
- the Moon
- Pronouns
- He/Him
But the box could be anything! It could even be a super weapon, and you know how much we want one of those!
Anderson Quest: Killing Vampires and Werewolves and Leprechauns (Hellsing/Bloodborne)
- Thread starter Tricia
- Start date
PsyFarrow
Verified Necrodancer
- Location
- Space
Only we already have super weapons, and there's a decent chance it'll do more damage to use than the Moon Presence
[X] Give Moonf**ker a taste of bayonets. Normal, Explosive and Chained! Follow up with a blast from the Club of Righteousness!
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
[X] If the Moon Presence starts tearing the workshop apart...use THE SHOVEL.
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
[X] If the Moon Presence starts tearing the workshop apart...use THE SHOVEL.
- Location
- Canada
"Once I wanted to be a hurricane. Nothing more than a bayonet in the hand of God. And in pursuit of that goal a pushed a scrap of miracle through my heart, that no human weakness would stand in my way. But I've seen a lot of things since then. Gascoigne wanted to protect his children, and so he took the old blood until he could barely remember his own name. And as he became a monster he left his children without a father, destroying the very family he strove to protect. I've seen a church clawing desiring to leave their humanity behind, only to become something much less than that in the trying. The greatest achievement of the scholars of Byrgenwerth, nothing more than an empty husk, good for nothing but holding back the night a while longer. Gehrman, whose desire to aid a loved one made him little more than a slave. A queen, who sought the old ones, now only a head on plate, good for nothing but yelling. Priests and scholars who wanted more than they were given, who took children - CHILDREN! - and ripped out everything that made them human. And in the end, they looked upon nothing but their own ruin, too afraid to even stand and face their fate.
And then there was me, so sure of my path that I threw away God's gift of humanity like it was nothing more than old garbage. So sure of my path that I thought I knew better what I was supposed to be than the God that made me. And for all that certainty, all that sacrifice, I still lost, little more than dust in the wind before a monster far older than I. I find myself wondering what would have happened if I had put the nail aside like the Vampire begged. If I had fought him as the man God made me, rather than the monster I made myself, would I still have lost?
It doesn't matter the reason, it doesn't matter how righteous or heinous your aim. If you become a monster, the price is always too high. It claims everything you are, and all that's left is a shell. God made us for more than that, I see that now. So let the thorns pass. I'll fight as the man the lord made me, for I'll never again let myself become anything less."
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Just some thoughts I had, wanting to elaborate on the idea below
Also, while I'm here, have a vote
[X] Give Moonf**ker a taste of bayonets. Normal, Explosive and Chained! Follow up with a blast from the Club of Righteousness!
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
Not a fan of the shovel idea. That seems incredibly risky and dangerous, and not a good idea in the middle of the fight of our lives.
And then there was me, so sure of my path that I threw away God's gift of humanity like it was nothing more than old garbage. So sure of my path that I thought I knew better what I was supposed to be than the God that made me. And for all that certainty, all that sacrifice, I still lost, little more than dust in the wind before a monster far older than I. I find myself wondering what would have happened if I had put the nail aside like the Vampire begged. If I had fought him as the man God made me, rather than the monster I made myself, would I still have lost?
It doesn't matter the reason, it doesn't matter how righteous or heinous your aim. If you become a monster, the price is always too high. It claims everything you are, and all that's left is a shell. God made us for more than that, I see that now. So let the thorns pass. I'll fight as the man the lord made me, for I'll never again let myself become anything less."
--------------------------------------
Just some thoughts I had, wanting to elaborate on the idea below
Also, while I'm here, have a vote
[X] Give Moonf**ker a taste of bayonets. Normal, Explosive and Chained! Follow up with a blast from the Club of Righteousness!
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
Not a fan of the shovel idea. That seems incredibly risky and dangerous, and not a good idea in the middle of the fight of our lives.
- Location
- Puerto Rico
[X] Give Moonf**ker a taste of bayonets. Normal, Explosive and Chained! Follow up with a blast from the Club of Righteousness!
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
[X] If the Moon Presence starts tearing the workshop apart...use THE SHOVEL.
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
[X] If the Moon Presence starts tearing the workshop apart...use THE SHOVEL.
menosay
Quietly laughing at nothing in particular.
[X] Give Moonf**ker a taste of bayonets. Normal, Explosive and Chained! Follow up with a blast from the Club of Righteousness!
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You make a good point.
[X] Give Moonf**ker a taste of bayonets. Normal, Explosive and Chained! Follow up with a blast from the Club of Righteousness!
[X] Use the lovely, lovely explosions as cover to Bible teleport.
[X] Materialize in the Workshop. Claim the weapons Gehrman left...no, that he left for you.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
But the shovel was far outnumbered?
vs. Moon Presence: Party Favors
It spreads its head tentacles like that fast little lizard you like, weaving them to and fro as it circles you. Some of them occasionally lash out, raising welts on your arms but not committing to anything that would put it within your range. Well, it's shut up and fight, so might as well do the same. You pull out as many bayonets as you can and unload with everything but the kitchen sink. Then you add the kitchen sink, which you were supposed to take to the mechanics division months ago, when it uses that rail-thin frame to weave through them.
Though it doesn't connect, the appliance does force Moonfucker to swat it away with its tentacles, leaving them bunched up enough for the next volley to connect. It hisses, backs off, and yanks them out with its forelimbs and the three branching tails dangling from its rear. It's still working on pulling them free when the fuses run out.
The blasts sever two of the tails and a chunk of its "mane," scoring its back with burn. Its rib cage rattles as it bellows and shudders in pain. It stays rattled long enough for you to raise your club, twist it like *this*, and blow up a significant chunk of its left shoulder. The thing wraps itself in its tentacles, wailing as it cradles itself, and you take aim for any gap you can find. This thing's been playing puppetmaster for ages; when was the last time it actually fought hand-to-hand? Hell, when was the last time it got hurt? Besides right fucking now, of course. You see a glint of moonlight on its mask and start to squeeze the trigger.
Then the third tail, which snuck around out of sight while you were busy, wraps around your right arm and crushes it to bits.
The club falls from your hands and you desperately stab at the limb, not even bothering to avoid stabbing yourself in the process. It's not like you can feel it at this point. The surviving portions of its hairdo slam into you while you're occupied and put on a drum performance Keith Moon would be proud of, complete with broken instrument courtesy of your left tibia. As the whippings continue and reddening clouds rise from the earth, you abandon the stabbing and pull out a Bible, teleporting away just before the clouds burst and rain down noxious blood.
You rematerialize inside the Workshop and scramble for your life, searching for any of the new toys Moonfucker mentioned. Only the usual arrangement of old blades Gehrman kept above his desk are visible and the fact that you're dragging one of your feet behind you doesn't help your search. Then, as you start to get desperate, you spot it: a carved cross on the floor. You lift a false floorboard to reveal, carved on the opposite side, "Don't fuck this up."
The secret compartment holds a bident with a switch on the shaft, a flail constructed of leftover Amygdala bits with a fuse on the head and a button on the handle, and what can only be a six-barrel Gatling gun. You don't see any ammunition, but looking down the top barrel reveals an Amygdalan eye. There's also, hidden beneath what turns out to be an instruction manual. another copy of How to Pick Up Fair Maidens, presumably stowed away for safekeeping before Maria's visit.
While you're looking at the illustrations in the manual, which show the bident humming with electricity when the switch is thrown and the flail's chain detaching and exploding when the button is pressed, Moonfucker tears a chunk of the wall free and reaches in with its good arm. You stumble back and hear something clatter to the ground when you hit the wall.
The shovel.
You grin wickedly and brandish the thing at your hesitant foe. "Ready ta get inhumed, ye lackin' Kraken?" When your wordplay remains unappreciated, you press the button. Some unseen mechanism coughs, sputtering to life after a few false starts, and the head begins jackhammering back and forth with impressive vigor. Perhaps a slight overabundance of vigor, now that you think about it. As you struggle to maintain your grip, the thing leaps from your hand like a trout on crystal meth and careens gaily about the Workshop. The two of you stare as it bounces out the door and rapidly tunnels out of sight with the slowly fading roar of a dying lawnmower.
perhaps caretaker warning referred to practicality and not danger.
"Could be."
[] Write in...
--
CURRENT STATUSES:
Anderson: Right arm just all kinds of fucked up, broken tibia, bruised everything
Moon Presence: Left forelimb injured, two of three tails severed
Though it doesn't connect, the appliance does force Moonfucker to swat it away with its tentacles, leaving them bunched up enough for the next volley to connect. It hisses, backs off, and yanks them out with its forelimbs and the three branching tails dangling from its rear. It's still working on pulling them free when the fuses run out.
The blasts sever two of the tails and a chunk of its "mane," scoring its back with burn. Its rib cage rattles as it bellows and shudders in pain. It stays rattled long enough for you to raise your club, twist it like *this*, and blow up a significant chunk of its left shoulder. The thing wraps itself in its tentacles, wailing as it cradles itself, and you take aim for any gap you can find. This thing's been playing puppetmaster for ages; when was the last time it actually fought hand-to-hand? Hell, when was the last time it got hurt? Besides right fucking now, of course. You see a glint of moonlight on its mask and start to squeeze the trigger.
Then the third tail, which snuck around out of sight while you were busy, wraps around your right arm and crushes it to bits.
The club falls from your hands and you desperately stab at the limb, not even bothering to avoid stabbing yourself in the process. It's not like you can feel it at this point. The surviving portions of its hairdo slam into you while you're occupied and put on a drum performance Keith Moon would be proud of, complete with broken instrument courtesy of your left tibia. As the whippings continue and reddening clouds rise from the earth, you abandon the stabbing and pull out a Bible, teleporting away just before the clouds burst and rain down noxious blood.
You rematerialize inside the Workshop and scramble for your life, searching for any of the new toys Moonfucker mentioned. Only the usual arrangement of old blades Gehrman kept above his desk are visible and the fact that you're dragging one of your feet behind you doesn't help your search. Then, as you start to get desperate, you spot it: a carved cross on the floor. You lift a false floorboard to reveal, carved on the opposite side, "Don't fuck this up."
The secret compartment holds a bident with a switch on the shaft, a flail constructed of leftover Amygdala bits with a fuse on the head and a button on the handle, and what can only be a six-barrel Gatling gun. You don't see any ammunition, but looking down the top barrel reveals an Amygdalan eye. There's also, hidden beneath what turns out to be an instruction manual. another copy of How to Pick Up Fair Maidens, presumably stowed away for safekeeping before Maria's visit.
While you're looking at the illustrations in the manual, which show the bident humming with electricity when the switch is thrown and the flail's chain detaching and exploding when the button is pressed, Moonfucker tears a chunk of the wall free and reaches in with its good arm. You stumble back and hear something clatter to the ground when you hit the wall.
The shovel.
You grin wickedly and brandish the thing at your hesitant foe. "Ready ta get inhumed, ye lackin' Kraken?" When your wordplay remains unappreciated, you press the button. Some unseen mechanism coughs, sputtering to life after a few false starts, and the head begins jackhammering back and forth with impressive vigor. Perhaps a slight overabundance of vigor, now that you think about it. As you struggle to maintain your grip, the thing leaps from your hand like a trout on crystal meth and careens gaily about the Workshop. The two of you stare as it bounces out the door and rapidly tunnels out of sight with the slowly fading roar of a dying lawnmower.
perhaps caretaker warning referred to practicality and not danger.
"Could be."
[] Write in...
--
CURRENT STATUSES:
Anderson: Right arm just all kinds of fucked up, broken tibia, bruised everything
Moon Presence: Left forelimb injured, two of three tails severed
Last edited:
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Gherman?
Typo, thanks.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ok, that didn't hurt us despite being a thing when it shouldn't have been.
Time to use the stuff I suppose.
Time to use the stuff I suppose.
Alexander89
Pet the pretty kitty? Y/N
- Location
- Italy
It can make sarcasm?
The weapons are:
Biting Tonitrus: pretty much what it says in the tin. Head of a tonitrus with stabbing prongs. Skin/tentacles are pretty insulating, blood is not.
Boom Flail: the head's heavy as shit, covered in spikes, and crammed with what's basically napalm. Bury it in something important, press the button, and go somewhere upwind.
Gatling Laser: More barrels means less heating issues. Offers more sustained fire than the club, but it's also heavier.
Also thanks to @thagguy for shovel brainstorming session.
Biting Tonitrus: pretty much what it says in the tin. Head of a tonitrus with stabbing prongs. Skin/tentacles are pretty insulating, blood is not.
Boom Flail: the head's heavy as shit, covered in spikes, and crammed with what's basically napalm. Bury it in something important, press the button, and go somewhere upwind.
Gatling Laser: More barrels means less heating issues. Offers more sustained fire than the club, but it's also heavier.
Also thanks to @thagguy for shovel brainstorming session.
Last edited:
ArchAIngel
Sorcerer Supreme.
- Location
- Right behind you.
I thought the Shovel was a bad idea. But eh. It's working.
Anyways, it's a big bugger, so the flail seems like the primary option.
Hm. And we've got a dating book too.
Gherman, are you telling us something?
Anyways, it's a big bugger, so the flail seems like the primary option.
Hm. And we've got a dating book too.
Gherman, are you telling us something?
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Wait a minute, you people told me it took time and that teleportation wasn't battle-usable. We did that in the midst of fucking dodging an attack!
chocolote12
A Penguin Flailing Against The Keyboard Of Life.
*Laughs*
That's what they think.
No, it was a sustained beatdown. We just missed the finale.
NitroFumetsu
Blaze of Glory
At the very least, the shovel stopped him. For a few seconds. Through sheer confusion.
Okay, there's an order to this.
Gatling Laser first. In this confined space, the superior firepower is absolutely necessary, and the flail looks like it's too dangerous to use in tight spaces. Hence the warning 'don't fuck this up'. Plus, the small space means the mobility we'd sacrifice has no use whatsoever.
Then when we force him out, we move onto the flail. With space to avoid the splash damage, we blast him open.
Finish with the Tonitrus. It works best when the target is already wounded and uses spikes to ensure small wounds get larger, so it is an ideal finishing tool.
Okay, there's an order to this.
Gatling Laser first. In this confined space, the superior firepower is absolutely necessary, and the flail looks like it's too dangerous to use in tight spaces. Hence the warning 'don't fuck this up'. Plus, the small space means the mobility we'd sacrifice has no use whatsoever.
Then when we force him out, we move onto the flail. With space to avoid the splash damage, we blast him open.
Finish with the Tonitrus. It works best when the target is already wounded and uses spikes to ensure small wounds get larger, so it is an ideal finishing tool.
Okibruez
(Verified Mid-Boss)
- Location
- Dreams
This. We took a serious thumping, and only barely managed to avoid the finishing blow in the combo. That bloody rain would have basically been it.
Also, that shovel, yo. Very practical.
Speckled Burd
Medicus Magica
- Location
- Kansas
Let's go apeshit.
-[X] Open fire with the Gatling Laser, there's not much room to maneuver in the Workshop so it'll have its work cut out for it with dodging.
-[X] Use your bible to set up as Wards to restrict its movement, try and back it into a corner.
-[X] Once it's on the backfoot, shove the head of the Boomflail as deep into it's open ribcage as possible and let it rip.
-[X] Open fire with the Gatling Laser, there's not much room to maneuver in the Workshop so it'll have its work cut out for it with dodging.
-[X] Use your bible to set up as Wards to restrict its movement, try and back it into a corner.
-[X] Once it's on the backfoot, shove the head of the Boomflail as deep into it's open ribcage as possible and let it rip.