The continuing adventures of the B-Team...or How Private stole a Warbike
"Kowalski, a question for you." Skipper said while looking at the valley below him.
"Yes, Skipper?" Kowalski responded, as he nervously twisted a wrench in his armored hands.
"This muse of yours, are they the abusive sort?" Skipper asked, turning away from Private's sneaking form.
"I'm...sorry, Sir?" Was all Kowalski could say in response.
"Because if they aren't I need to get me some of that action! I'd never conceive of something so diabolical as to send Private, alone into an Ork encampment for his six month evaluation mission! Commendations all around if we pull this off and a new trophy for Lady Commander Tenry's garage." Skipper finished. "Did you brief the private on the common Ork vernacular?"
"Yes, Skipper." Kowalski started to smile, "Not sure he'll pass muster but it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. We even put together something of a disguise for him, Sir."
"A disguise? I do love me a good disguise." Skipper said, turning back to his view from the ridge. "We'll get to see how the updated manual Lady Salnus wrote holds up."
"We did add a few modifications: more orange paint to go with the purple and wrote 'Ded Orky, No Beaky' on his chest and back. The manual mentioned the orange being a color of their larger 'Boyz' and purple is apparently a 'sneaky git' color." Kowalski read from the manual
Orks and 'ow They iz: Volume Three By Primarch Serras Salnus, while making his own notations in the margins. "If this works I may submit a dissertation to the War College."
"Excellent work. Now drop that hunk of metal and help Rico setup those mortars, I want this place lit up like a Bastion Day parade when we pull out." Skippers hands clench slightly on his optics as he watched Private stride calmly to what would normally be certain doom.
~~~~Down in the valley~~~~
'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear' was all Private could think as he made his way towards the teeming green mass of Orks in front of him. 'Don't worry, Private, just remember what Kowalski told you
act tough and smash anything smaller than you and you'll be fine.' It still didn't stop him from sweating bullets behind his purple tinted helmet now complete with an rusted metal Ork emblem welded to the front.
"Oi! Wot's a flashy git loik you doin' outta da camp?" growled one of the larger Orks, waving his cleaver at Private.
"Uh, uhh None ah yooz biznis, ya ssnot luvvin git!" Private stammered while gesturing back with his own steel wedge.
"Wot'd you call me, you Gretchin humper!" The Ork snarled back, "I'z gunna kru-OOMph!"
Private pulled his choppa back from the caved in skull of the Ork "I'Z COME FER MAH BIKE, WHAT SOME SQUIG TOUCHER STOLE! UNLESS ONE O' YOU LOT WANT SOME MORE ARJY-BARJY YOUZ GONNA POINT THE WAY AN MAKE A HOLE!" He screamed, using the phrase Kowalski'd drilled into his head the last three weeks. 'Crystals aid me, that came out better than any of the rehearsals! This is gonna be great!'
~~~Back on the ridge~~~
"They grow up so fast." Skipper said to himself, wiping away an imaginary tear. "Rico, Kowalski, seems like the Private's got some real moxxy to him. Are those mortars ready?"
Kowalski and Rico took one last look at the thirty auto mortars they had finished rigging and aiming at the encampment. "Yes, Sir, I think we have just enough explosives to cover our escape."
"Escape? No one said anything about 'escaping' I fully intend to take that camp!" Rico grinned ferally at Skipper's words and starting rigging more mortars.
"But Sir, the debrief said to-" Kowalski started to say before Skipper cut him off, "The debrief said to reconnoiter the area and assess the situation. I reckon we can kick the asses off the situation and Private's evaluation is just the icing on the cake. Now, Rico! I see a small Vulcha squad down there that says I need my trap gun."
Rico looked down at the valley and saw the Vulcha squad milling about next to the small Warbiker Nob tent. He smiled as he saw Private successfully mounting one of the biggest warbikes and began to nod as he rooted around in the equipment bag before pulling out the Skipper's autocannon.
~~~Later in Lady Commander Tenry's briefing room~~~
"I distinctly recall the debrief stating to simply reconnoiter the area and report back any Ork activity. When you accepted the mission and requested your newest...recruit be given an evaluation I assumed he would be the one to write up the initial report NOT TEST YOUR THEORY THAT AN ASTARTES COULD 'WALTZ INTO AN ORK ENCAMPMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO STUPID TO EXPECT IT!'" Lady Commander Tenry was not having a good day. In fact it was a terrible day of three distinct flavors of headache, all of whom were standing in front of her now. "Where is Private now and why is he not here with you?"
"Ma'am, Private is currently just outside your window with the spoils of our mission and awaiting your evaluation of his abilities as an Astartes of B-Team, Ma'am." Skipper intoned formally, though the tone was outdone by that damn smirk of his.
"We are ten stories up there is nothing
he could...have that..." Tenry's eyes grew bigger and bigger as she saw and realized what exactly was outside her window: Private on a modified Ork Warbike with Eldar grav emitters. "Priv...Private has been evaluated exceedingly fit for duty. Get that beautiful thing to my personal garage and get out of my sight."
"YES MA'AM!" Chorused B-Team, snapping a salute before high-fiving each other as they hussled out of Tenry's office.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And there is the second, of possibly many, adventure of the infamous B-Team.
I have also completed my second Tau Drone paint test. Here (left) it is. This one was basecoated with Vallejo Model Air Grey Blue which looks quite like GW's The Fang. The secondary color is Vallejo Model Air Yellow Ochre, since it looked quite like Averland Sunset from the other drone (right) and I wanted to see if I could use it since it'd be cheaper and, being airbrush paint, pretty much pre-thinned. Might have gotten too thin on the wet pallete. IDK. Let me know what yall think on both C&C welcome.