[X] She wants trust. I spoiled her in some ways, I think. I've seen how she's worked on Xiao Fen. It's important for her to know you, so that she can trust you with more important things.
The problem Xia Anxi has is that he already knows this is true. He just has trouble accepting it. Because it clashes with his worldview, with what he knows the Bai Clan is like. He keeps expecting the cruelty, and since he is not finding it, he feels lost and confused.
Rulers cannot be 'kind' by definition.
This is the core of the issue.
That's the kind of mentality that caused a top General, his army, their families, and thousands upon thousands of people to chose to rebel against their rulers and launch an invasion against the supposedly unconquerable jungle as
the opening move of their rebellion rather than keep serving the Bai.
And it is a lesson that the Bai Moderates of the new generation have learned. Temperance is needed, because a disproportionate punishment is not justice, and a disregard for the voices and needs of the subjects is nothing but tyranny. They know that cruelty towards subordinates is unbecoming of a true leader.
The rising faction of the new Bai have learned that they can't keep being assholes to everyone if they want to continue existing. Their cruelty and isolationism has cost them too much.