*a couple of years into the future we look into the lair of our intrepid villainess, as we see her bringing in the mail from the Mail Box of Evil, run by the Evil Post Office, which is like the regular post office but all post people wear capes and have goatees*
"Anything interesting in the post?" asked Presto the Puppet sitting on his custom throne
"Just checking now" replied Johanna "lets see, letter from Ms De Vil, Ad, Lair Monthly Catalog, Bank Update, Guild Update, Coupon and oh the latest issue of Fiend Weekly"
Presto leaned forward musing "oh good, I was wondering what was new in the fields of Evil, go one read it"
"Lets see, Fiend Weekly's Moustache twirler of the year winner is facing confused backlash"
"Are they secretly a double agent for the good guys?"
"No actually they cheated by using curlers and judges are confused as to whether they should still get the prize" Johana stated
Presto shrugged his felt shoulders "well it's a evil act at least, anything else?"
"Two Tonne is hosting a seminar series on the art of henching" Johnna said with a amount of happiness, as the henchman in question was the evils world equivalent of a golden boy, really the epitome of a henchperson
"do you reckon we could get a ticket for the Vex's?"
"I'll look into it, oh i think someone's planning a bank heist" Johanna exclaimed surprised
"you think? Did they do that reporting style where everything is in hypotheticals again?" the puppet wizard grumbled
"no, but the horoscope has lucky bank codes in them again"
"Ah Madam Xim does a good job, while you've got the paper out can you check the stocks?"
"Sure…. Muggings are up as are B&E's, Assaults and Batteries have finally stabilised and world ending plans continue to nosedive" Johanna stated in a manner of fact way
"Glad I never bought into world ending stocks then, knew they were a scam, anything else interesting or may I read the funnies?"
"umm 10 rays to own, the usual Agony Aunt stuff. For Sports, Speed Bank-robbing is set to begin next week, Hero Toss was pushed back due to weather and the Villain Ice Hockey team faced the Canadian team, some of them ended up in hospital"
"The Canadians?"
"No the Villain team, there's a quote 'the villain team never stood a chance, it was like watching a deaf, blind baby rabbit go into a rage in the cage match with a lion on steroid. Villain Goalie Knight Master had to go to hospital for his broken legs'"
"im not sure how to feel about that, eh anyway if you're done may i?" the puppet stated inquiringly his feelings for the villain team quickly forgotten
"Knock yourself out, I've got to write to Ms De Vil stating that while our foes may be the same race, we do not have the same methods of facing them"
As the puppeteer leaves, the puppet proceeds to flip to the back of the magazine and begins to chuckle "Oh Evil Garfield, you are too relatable"
A/N was listening to a song, got a idea and here we are