In the spirit of that, I'm shelving my thoughts on the X/א split right now. We've got uh, probably about ten thousand words to get a handle on who X is, and two paragraphs and some snips on א. Not enough to make any kind of call on the subject.
Honestly I just view it as a god and avatar situation
The avatar is the god but the god is not just that avatar
X is the Ego basically, a shell of psychic profile
Aleph is the origin of said profile
Most likely X was made using pre abnormalization memories.... meaning aleph was possibly in the library for a period of time before figuring out how to yeet himself to a better world and 'partition' his ego from himselfand manipulate it, If my post ruina timeframe guess is correct
Probably yeeted the moment the light was redistributed and guests unbooked
Otherwise I'm clueless on when or how they got out
Let us go back to the plan of action for now then.
What are the agenda for tomorrow and the rest of the night? Since I assume the next turn we will be voting for that.
We know that the afternoon after school is a meeting with all the girls to discuss abnormalities, and right after that Mami will likely go to confront Kyoko.
I will chip in on what I said before, we should attempt to test out Last Helix's abilities more. If it turns out that the metal "agents" are stronger than Pinks's soldiers, it would be an excellent upgrade, even more so if we can harness the death laser. Another thing we should try out is what Kailll said, the Knight of Despair can teleport, we have left that possibility untouched for literally the entire quest's length.
It's not stabilized yet, do we have enough Abnos (as hypothesized) that we can finish piecing this together or another of the Ordeals together? (Don't see why not to test the KoD stuff out though)
Isnt now "the rest of the night"? Probably continue writing the book if it's not already done I imagine
E: If we wanted to take further advantage of Cogito Ephemera, how would we go around doing that?
Also, it's not likely, but can we reverse the girl -> MG transformation? (We haven't used Lobotomy on a non MG/MG-derived/Abno being yet, may or may not be something interesting to see)
"It's really scary sometimes, and I know I can't do much," Madoka admits, "but if I can make even a little difference, then I can't back down. If I can help people, even just a few, then I have to."
Homura stands more still than usual, fixing her classmate with an unrelenting glare that hides her desire to scream. Despite this, Madoka remains undeterred. She stares back at the veteran Magical Girl, much less hostile but equally resolved. The two stare silently at one another, unwilling to back down.
"It's more complicated than that." You cut in. Can't allow the two of them to get too confrontational. You are all supposed to be allies here. "You're right that you're already involved and that can't be undone, but that isn't necessarily a good thing. Becoming a Magical Girl is a one-way thing, and once you do you're giving up on ever having a normal life."
"It… can't be that bad, can it? Mami's a Magical Girl, and she seems so happy with it." Madoka says.
"Tomoe Mami is not an ordinary Magical Girl," Homura comments. "Even so, she has made many sacrifices in order to become a Magical Girl of her caliber." Madoka looks away, deep in thought. Had she picked up on Mami's loneliness and just not understood its depths? You know the lengths your daughter goes to in order to appear serene and unbothered. Despite that, you hope Madoka has seen through her. While you won't break her mask yourself, Mami needs people other than you who she can be honest with. Hopefully that will be Kyoko soon enough, but her being able to be more realistic about the life of a Magical Girl would go a long way to preventing Madoka or even Yuma from making a mistake.
"There's nothing we can do about this now." you announce with an air of finality. "This is the house, right? Then we're done for tonight. Homura, can I trust you to look after Madoka until morning?"
Homura nods solemly and draws a key from her shield with which to open Madoka's front door. The other girl seems troubled by the casual reveal that Homura has a key to her front door, but reacts far less than you think she should. The house is dark and empty, abandoned in the night when its inhabitants were enthralled by the wandering Abnormality. Homura moves through the house with familiarity, not bothering to flick on the lights. You leave Madoka and Homura to their sleepover and head back to your own house.
You really need to fix your arm.
—————————
In the City, with access to all the wonders of technology that were withheld from the general public, the loss of a limb would be an inconsequential injury. You are unfortunately not in the City nor are you in possession of said wonders of technology, so having your arm bitten off is far more inconvenient now than it would have been. Sound of a Star's healing is limited to others, not yourself, and Pinks doesn't have the ability to regrow missing flesh as much as it eases existing wounds.
What makes things even more complicated is the fact that Big Bird vanished into its Sapling without leaving the arm behind. Simply reattaching the severed limb would have been far easier than creating a whole new one from scratch.
It still has to be possible to make an arm from scratch, though. You made this whole body from practically nothing, so just replacing a missing arm should be entirely within your grasp. On the other hand, you were within the Light back then. Your body was composed entirely of Light, although it has become much more solid now. Is that just a property the Light takes when given shape, or a consequence of using it to house an Abnormality of your magnitude?
Whatever the case, you have to do something. Leaving aside that having only one arm is very inconvenient, this much damage could theoretically weaken the integrity of your seal. You don't understand the exact nature of the restraints that allow you to withhold your full force, but it's best to err on the side of caution in this case. It seems as if one solution is most obvious.
You grasp at the scattered flecks of Light that drift beyond attention. Cogito Ephemera falls unnoticed most of the time, but its emotion-reading has been incredibly useful. The exact nature of the power is a mystery, though. The Light as a whole is not a completely understood phenomena, other than it responding to emotions and being shaped by them. The drifting notes that compose Cogito Ephemera appear to be constant in number, even when wielding EGO. It is being used up to fuel your abilities, but the rate of that use is counteracted by new Light particles being spread. This rules out the Ephemera as just a consequence of your voyage through the Well, since that would only have left you with a limited quantity clinging to you. It could be a consequence of your nature, as seems to be the pattern with unexplained occurrences related to you, or it could be something else entirely unrelated.
The origin of the ability hardly matters now. You sit in silence in the main room as Yuma and Mami calmly slumber, drawing the disparate traces together into a shape you can use. It is a slow, agonizing process. The new limb feels numb when the creation starts, but that disconcerting emptiness is quickly replaced by pain beyond measure when the first few nerves form. You can feel the parts of your arm that are missing, feel the new flesh fusing with the old. But the pain is worth it, because it moves you forwards. After all the suffering you visited on those below you, can bear this moment as they would.
By morning, you have two fully-functional arms once again. Just in time to greet your children for the weekend.
———————————————
Plans for preparation
[] Make Food
[] Hunt
[] Pre-discuss conversation topics
-[] With Yuma
-[] With Mami
[] Write-in
Here we come to the end of Day 5. Day 6 will be the conclusion of Act 1, after which there will be a long vote during which I'll be starting some other projects. I'll discuss more when we get there.
Your body was composed entirely of Light, although it has become much more solid now. Is that just a property the Light takes when given shape, or a consequence of using it to house an Abnormality of your magnitude?
The new limb feels numb when the creation starts, but that disconcerting emptiness is quickly replaced by pain beyond measure when the first few nerves form. You can feel the parts of your arm that are missing, feel the new flesh fusing with the old. But the pain is worth it, because it moves you forwards. After all the suffering you visited on those below you, can bear this moment as they would.
And now for some self flagalation. X would not last long as a Magical Girl.
[X] Make Food
Morning starts with breakfast in this house, so sayith X.
I'm less sold on this, but I think it should be done. Mami usually reacts the worst to this nugget of information, so a little one-on-one first is good. Plus X is now her mom, and as her daughter Mami should get a little special treatment.
[X] Pre-discuss conversation topics
-[X] With Mami
--[X] Magical Girls turn into witches.
It could be a consequence of your nature, as seems to be the pattern with unexplained occurrences related to you, or it could be something else entirely unrelated.
My guess is that it is related to our nature as an abnormality made to spread the seed of light, we represent the facility that was used to water it and diffuse it when the time came, and we probably kept some part of that.
Day 6 will be the conclusion of Act 1, after which there will be a long vote during which I'll be starting some other projects. I'll discuss more when we get there.
Act 1 about learning our nature and getting our foundations made, act 2 about learning how to use it and begins to create something on said foundations?
This is dangerous, very dangerous… I think we should do it with Yuma there, she is the one that kept Mami out of a spiral in Oriko Magica. She can definitely help here, we'll see if our injection of prudence helps too (this is one of the big reasons I think we can go for it).
[X] Make Food
[X] Pre-discuss conversation topics
-[X] With Mami and Yuma
--[X] Magical Girls turn into witches.
If X became a witch it would be bad because I have no doubt that aleph would be freed as the psychoment composing X becomes a twisted abberant-witch hybrid on a level akin to kriemhild gretchen, the magia record witch responsible for the doppel phenomena, and ad flingo systemas unseen but dreaded Dedolere
In short
X would become far worse than aleph ever would as a witch as far as I know
Even an avatar possess godly power even if naught but a fraction of it
Am I wrong there or was that not the entire basis of Angela's plan?
That people can nurture and grow the Light within themselves?
Was that not the entire reason she needed to book only the brightest among those exposed to the 3 days of Light?
Because the new Light they had nurtured within themselves made up the difference where otherwise she would have needed to book most of the city?
In light of the Storm that is approaching, how about we make breakfast, and bring The daughters up to speed?
Dropping the "btw I am from a different world" should happen before family first.
And I feel it should be brought up so it cannot later complicate things when whatever storm that is heavily telegraphed to arrive soon is happening.
Cause the best I can come up with is the city making itself known somehow and the kids should know that we are an expert to ask in that matter too.
Something like:
[] Plan: Storm Warning
-[] Make Food -[] Pre-discuss conversation topics
--[] With Mami and Yuma
---[] Tell them that you are not from this Earth
---[] Tell Yuma that you are an Abnormality and what that means
---[] Workshop with them what to tell and how to tell it to the other kids later
I am not comfortable voting, just not how I wish to interact with the Forum.
But just as an idea what could be done here.
Also strong opposition from me telling Mami the Witchbomb right now.
Not before/during Breakast and not this close to a major shake-up happening.
---
Also important note: Yuma still has no Exposure.
---
And as I do not know when I would write this otherwise.
When I mentioned earlier how we could maybe turn Madoka's earlier timeline memories from subconscious to conscious.
Seeing as those memories are present enough that Madoka dreams them I would not be surprised if X learns of those from the Branches of Madoka's mind when Alkahest's Lobotomy is first used on her (for Prudence + so she can withstand the influence of the EGO gift).
But the biggest potential there is in regards to Homura I'd say.
If their relationship is to turn healthier, the best thing would be if Madoka remembers the end of the Timeline where she had Homura make her promise and then had her mercy kill Madoka.
Because that is the moment that among the years still hurts Homura the most (seeing as it is the singular moment that haunts her as a witch in Rebellion).
Don't blame any of the two there, Madoka was high on Grief and Homura was just cleansed and in a high stress situation.
But it is the moment between them that needs resolving if there is to be ever peace between the two of them.
As long as that tragedy stays hidden in the past, the connection between Homura and Madoka will never be free of poison.
Which is extra tragic because without X there would almost never be a means for the two to address that.
Because Homura cannot speak of it (Trauma + being a Magical Girl + limited Grief Seed supply) and Madoka doesn't remember it.
This is all just my opinion of course. But it is the greatest potential I see in my "give Madoka some memories of prior timelines back" idea.
---
And now something on-topic but kinda unrelated - under Spoiler for size:
When I thought back to canon I remember some speculation I read years back that Kyubey went insane as Madoka made her canon wish.
Because it started panicking when it understood what she tried to do.
But then I remembered as Sayaka turned into a Witch Kyubey observed from a Distance.
And more importantly talked to itself and in Japanese made the Mahou Shoujo -> Majo pun.
Once again for no other reason than to be dramatic.
Which is very cinematic, but In Universe in relation to the full rationality species that is the Incubators makes me wonder.
If Kyubey may not actually be the picture of mental health by the standards of its species.
I am bringing this up here because I wonder how much Mental Damage it would cause Kyubey then to maybe see and comprehend the City.
Kyubey sure seems to believe that Humans would have never evolved beyond Cavemen without the Incubators "Aid".
And maybe it thinks that Humanity will not be eternally a suitable contract capable species (hence the "quota") due to a position that they will either
a) Destroy themselves or
b) "Wisen up" about their "insanity" that is "Emotions"
and so lose their potential to contract.
So seeing a place that stood for nigh 1000 Years (Year is 985 in the Limbus Trailer) with such a high Level of Madness as the City, with a Plethora of Tech that even exceeds the Incubators (at the very least L-Corp and their Singularity, maybe more) and that the humans of the city did this alone, surviving in a place where anything outside the city/outskirts seem to be eldritch horrors (Wonderlab Epilogue last picture of a Ruin).
With people only working to serve their own interests and particularly not needing to "overcome" their Emotions for such a level of Development.
I wonder if that would be a sufficient refutation of Kyubey's worldview to drive it (to a greater or lesser extend) insane.
in TLDR: Wonder if Kyubey seeing the City would have a similar effect to when anyone else sees [CENSORED].
---
And yeah. Thanks for the chapter. Do not burn yourself out.
Take your time.
And I am very much curious what kind of upset will be happening soon enough.
This is dangerous, very dangerous… I think we should do it with Yuma there, she is the one that kept Mami out of a spiral in Oriko Magica. She can definitely help here, we'll see if our injection of prudence helps too (this is one of the big reasons I think we can go for it).
Part of the reason I want him to see it
To realize that it is inferior for having no emotion
I wonder if kyubey would be willing to part with a few units to experiment with imparting egos on
May even fulfill commeupance by driving it insane repeatedly like it does its puella contractees with the witch transformation process
Rolling out the storm straight away, eh? I must admit I am tempted to see what will happen, but I think we will need a more fleshed out approach for this to end well.
I predict that the initial reaction will be disbelief, especially since I don't remember her trust in Kyubey ever being shaken up to this point (please correct if I am wrong). She may call for Kyubey to confirm, who would oblige along with giving the "you never asked before" spiel. Once she actually comprehends the truth is when the problems start. Her conception of magical girl life would be shattered, replaced with a realization that she and all magical girls had been devoting their lives to a fate of damnation. Also that she had been hunting and killing former magical girls. Also that Kyubey, her only enduring "friend" until recently, was a liar.
Luckily, she did not have to figure this out first hand, and X and Yuma are present. We should have an idea beforehand of how to genuinely address her potential concerns, so as to hopefully avoid an emergency lobotomy or having to "SAVE" her.
Why tell her, why now?
The severe blow to her self-esteem
Perceptions of hopelessness, futility, losing the will to go on, and that it would be better for her to die to prevent this
After all, high prudence agents opt for suicide
Can she trust X (will X turn out to be like Kyubey)?
How to save other magical girls from this (particularly Kyoko)
Agreed. Today will be a difficult day for Mami especially, if she's planning to confront Kyoko. She'll need time to process it without further uncomfortable revelations.
Madoka: Hey Kyubey, are you okay? I notice you've taken to wearing a concealing turtleneck.
Kyubey: I'm completely fine, why do you ask? *scratches behind its ear furiously*
[x] Plan: Storm Warning
-[x] Make Food
-[x] Pre-discuss conversation topics
--[x] With Mami and Yuma
---[x] Tell them that you are not from this Earth
---[x] Tell Yuma that you are an Abnormality and what that means
---[x] Workshop with them what to tell and how to tell it to the other kids later
Thinking about it, better tell the witchbomb when everyone's here, less work for Yuma that way, she won't have to repeat her pep talk. Also, more people to restrain Mami in case of problems.
[x] Plan: Storm Warning
-[x] Make Food
-[x] Pre-discuss conversation topics
--[x] With Mami and Yuma
---[x] Tell them that you are not from this Earth
---[x] Tell Yuma that you are an Abnormality and what that means
---[x] Workshop with them what to tell and how to tell it to the other kids later
Mami wins in a contest of restraint, the ribbons are very good for that. More people doesn't help. Mami trusts X in a way she doesn't trust anyone else. To the rest, she's the veteran, X is the only person she knows on a personal level who has been through anything resembling her path.
For crying out loud, she agreed to be adopted. That's trust. If she freaks out so bad X can't help, no one is going to be able to help.
X agreed to be her mom. Telling her this, one on one, is the mom thing to do.
[x] Plan: Storm Warning
-[x] Make Food
-[x] Pre-discuss conversation topics
--[x] With Mami and Yuma
---[x] Tell them that you are not from this Earth
---[x] Tell Yuma that you are an Abnormality and what that means
---[x] Workshop with them what to tell and how to tell it to the other kids later
Yeah this seems to be the best idea currently. And as Nyarky stated, better save the whole "Witches = Magical Girls" thing for when everyone is there.
X also needs some time to calm down, she will get drained if all we do is high stakes discussions/fights, a little time with our daughters reinforcing their trust and discussing our next move is a good thing after the exhausting thing that was Big Bird and before the exhausting thing that the reunion can very easily become.
Do you really want to just drop an information bomb on poor Mami out of nowhere that is probably more dangerous to her sanity than watching a five-hour documentary about CENSORED without perceptual filters? The person who, due to exposure to the Light, might be closest to becoming a Distortion?
Even just telling her about the nature of the Soul Gem is probably enough to make her unable to participate in the Abnormalities conversation in the afternoon. And this is actually a much smaller informational danger than what you want to mention. This is again a terribly wrong time.
This is dangerous, very dangerous… I think we should do it with Yuma there, she is the one that kept Mami out of a spiral in Oriko Magica. She can definitely help here, we'll see if our injection of prudence helps too (this is one of the big reasons I think we can go for it).
In fact, Yuma was just lucky at that time to say exactly what Mami needed to hear. But this time, she knows next to nothing about Magical Girls to understand the essence of the situation - and can she keep her cool when her older sister, who is almost always a model of elegance and restraint, starts to fall apart? After all, Yuma herself is not a model of emotional health and is very afraid of losing her new family.
In addition, I do not think that a modification designed to deal with psychic influence from the outside will help in the fight against internal demons. This would contradict the part where the Alkahest does exactly what we want it to do.
As for Mami, the worst thing for her will probably not even be the fact that she is one mistake away from becoming a monster that devours people, but that she has subjected many others to this fate. After all, she, encouraged by Kyubey, for several years was looking for girls with potential and urged them to make a wish. To know that she, with her own hands, crossed out the future of her students, whom she cared for...
I insist that we should only tell Mami about the Witches when we have made real progress in our project to turn the Witches back into Magical Girls. In this way, we will give Mami hope to undo the harm she caused. Even if it doesn't change the fact that everything she thought was important in her life was a lie.
Edit: Oh, looks like we're not going to blow everything up in flames now. Good.
[X] Pre-discuss conversation topics
-[X] With Mami
-[X] Talk about Homura.
-[X] She probably got the wrong impression of Homura. She's really a good person at heart.
-[X] You can see emotions with your abilities.
-[X] You know why she acts the way she does, but that's not your story to tell.
If we can convince Mami to give Homura a chance, it should do wonders for Homura's mental health. Of course, there is Sayaka, but between Mami and X, she can probably be persuaded to give the girl a chance.
That being said, I won't mind if Storm Warning wins.
As for Mami, the worst thing for her will probably not even be the fact that she is one mistake away from becoming a monster that devours people, but that she has subjected many others to this fate. After all, she, encouraged by Kyubey, for several years was looking for girls with potential and urged them to make a wish. To know that she, with her own hands, crossed out the future of her students, whom she cared for...
It's precisely the part that breaks her in canon, if it was just the *I will become a monster* her reaction would just be suicide, instead, she goes for murder as a mercy kill.
Also the closest to get EGO, we just need to not be Carmen, and, yeah, telling the witchbomb without preamble is very much being Carmen here. Once she gets EGO, there is no possibility of distorting and probably a far greater mental stability (it is a requirement, or at least it seems to be).
Also: Didn't do prepwork, we need to have already told the *Kyubey is NOT a friend* speech, and probably the Lichbomb, these two can help in judging her resilience and are far, far less dangerous.