Threads Of Destiny(Eastern Fantasy, Sequel to Forge of Destiny)

reignonyrparade said:

It contextualizes what this sword is and what elder they were a spirit for. You might not care for this point but it is objectively not pointless.

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Humbaba said:

Hmm.

I really didn't enjoy that much at all. It was well written, and I suppose it provided useful insight into our possible teamwork but it lacked the spark(?) of our previous adventures somehow.

Renxiang was useful with her aura, but for the leader she didn't really seem to, well lead? She was somewhat passive really. Not necessarily a bad trait, but she didn't really stand out much (unusual for someone who radiates such a blinding aura). I think a big part of that is that her big contributions, organising the teams etc. was a couple of lines about what she did offscreen. We didn't get to see her actually doing much in the area she should shine. Also her aura being a perfect counter to the thing on hand feels a bit eh.

Gan was nice to see. Didn't contribute much but was good to see.

Meng Dan feels unpleasant. I think he's meant to seem like a history buff but comes across as far to mercenary. Especially his line at the end urging us to find the loot that must be here. Not sure if that was the intent given Ling Qi is also pretty sure there is something useful here, but that's how it felt.

Also Xia Lin totally validated my fears that she wouldn't know when keep still and silent. Please stop trying to piss off the super spirit sword that could trivially murder us all.

I'd also say that I feel the reactions to Ling Qi sharing her map with them are really muted? Like, this is a pretty huge deal. She isn't just sharing the location of one site with them either. She's showing them the whole map and they're all examining it together for over an hour. That's a massive show of trust when Ling Qi could hold it to herself and probably do a lot better out of it, and it mostly gets brushed over with a 'thanks Money!'. Instead it's treated It's an area I feel could benefit from a private scene with Renxiang to properly show her appreciation as Ling Qi's liege. Especially after last chapter where Renxiang was already feeling guilty over picking Ganguli rather than choosing further rewards Ling Qi after her loyal service.

Overall this felt... unearned? Yeah I'll go with that. I know it's a mini-quest but it really felt pretty unearned. Everything goes far too smoothly. Even when one of the party insults the powerful spirt nothing even mildly tense happens. *Edit:We don't even get any "and things were looking a bit dicey until..." moments to show off teamwork and skills *End edit.

Everyone goes and gets information, its fine. Cai background organises and then has the perfect counter to the dangers here so they get through easily. Here's your choice or possible rewards.

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Erebeal said:

Yeah I do agree there, and I think that goes back to the question of whether or not there was enough room for this. I like the way that the spirit and elder lang are being used to make the adventure relevant to our mission while tying back to older arcs. But the adventure itself was kind of rushed through in a very tell-y blunt way that left it feeling kinda hollow.

This doesn't mean I think it should be fleshed out more though - I think that would be inappropriate and narratively unhelpful. Rather I think it's just the result of two competing problems - the need to flesh out 5 different characters and their dynamics while showing an adventure vs. the need to keep things brief and not distract from the main plot.

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