[X] First off, you should call Homura; she's smart, she knows things, she can help you!
[x] Kyoko should spend lots of time with Sayaka, things will work out from there.
-[X] Preliminary analysis has shown that Sayaka's brain's protective bone structure is too solid and difficult to penetrate, though Yuma doesn't quite understand what that means. The point is, Big Sis Kyouko asked Sayaka to marry her, and Sayaka did not even react! Clearly, taking this slowly won't work.
-[X] Indeed, Yuma must conclude that Big Sis Kyouko's approach of sitting by and doing nothing is equal to sitting by and doing nothing, which will get Big Sis Kyouko nothing but her butt feeling comfortable. But only if she's sitting on something comfortable.
-[X] However, Yuma must not get sidetracked, the goal is for Big Sis Kyouko to sit on Sayaka's lap.
-[X] Yuma is confused.
"What you should do..." you say, rubbing your chin thoughtfully. "Well, first off, Yuma thinks it would be smart to call Homura. She knows things, right?"
"Yeah, that makes sense," says Kyoko. "I'll contact her."
"
Hey, Homura," Kyoko says telepathically, taking the time to include you in the call. "
I need your help with something, could you come over?"
"
I will be there momentarily," Homura curtly replies The connection cuts off, and you glance at Kyoko.
"She won't
actually be here in moments," Kyoko says, picking up a strand of her un-ponytailed hair and grabbing a piece of rice off it.
"She will," you reply. "She said she'd be here in a few moments, and she will."
"It's an expression," says Kyoko, who is now eating the hair-rice. "She wasn't being literal."
"She said she would be here
momentarily," you insist. "So she'll be here momentarily."
"Sure she will. In the meantime, you got any advice? I'm in uncharted territory here." Hmm, advice for Kyoko… You must admit, you're not exactly an expert on relationships either, but if you had to tell her
something…
"Yuma thinks you should focus on spending time with Sayaka," you say. "You know, get closer to her. She'll get to know you better, you'll get to know her better, and when the time comes to ask her out she'll know she should say yes!" Kyoko smiles at you, and you reach in for a hug. "After that… well, this next part is gonna be complicated. Yuma looked up
words on the
internet."
Kyoko snorts, and given her lack of horror you're gonna go ahead and assume she doesn't realize what she's up against. "You see, preliminary analysis has shown that Sayaka's brain's protective bone structure is too solid and difficult to penetrate, though Yuma doesn't quite understand what that means. The point is, you asked Sayaka to marry you, and Sayaka didn't even react!"
Kyoko shrugs. "Well, I mean, it was kind of obviously a joke?"
"Not important! Clearly, taking this slowly won't work. Indeed, Yuma must conclude that your approach of sitting by and doing nothing is equal to sitting by and doing nothing, which will get you nothing but your butt feeling comfortable." You pause. "But only if you're sitting on something comfortable. However, Yuma must not get sidetracked, the goal is for Big Sis Kyouko to sit on Sayaka's lap."
Kyoko stares at you. "Th- that's…"
"Yuma is confused," you say.
"Yeah, I got that." Kyoko runs a hand through her hair. "So you're saying I should
do something, and also expect Sayaka to be a bit dense?"
You nod. "And also sit on Sayaka's lap! That's a good thing!"
"Sounds more like a goal than a strategy, but okay. So, when do you think Homura will get here?"
You open your mouth to respond, but stop. You like to think you're capable of recognizing patterns, which means that right now…
"I should be here any second now," Homura says from another couch. Kyoko jumps, a movement made all the more entertaining by the fact that she's leaned back on a couch, and the end result is she flails about for a bit before somehow falling to the floor.
Kyoko jerks her head up. "What the fuck!" she screeches, strands of loose hair falling over her face. "How!?"
"Magic," Homura calmly replies. "Now, you said you needed my help?"
"Yeah yeah, I do," Kyoko says, maneuvering herself back onto the couch. She sighs, and Homura motions for her to continue. "So I want to actually, you know,
get with Sayaka sometime this century, but I have absolutely no goddamn clue how to do that."
Homura blinks. "So you are saying that you want dating advice?"
Kyoko nods.
Homura stares at her. "From me?"
Kyoko nods again.
Homura stares at your Big Sis, eyes unblinking. Kyoko tries to hold Homura's gaze, but folds after a few seconds of eye contact with the oddly quiet girl. What's got Homura so riled up? Is she surprised? Probably, but that would imply that Homura is capable of being surprised, and at this point you're pretty sure she's all-seeing.
"I… assume this advice would be in regards to your relationship - or lack thereof - with Sayaka Miki?" Kyoko nods, mouth pressed into a thin smile, and Homura continues. "Then there are two major obstacles for you to overcome. Firstly, Sayaka Miki thinks of herself as heterosexual. This is mainly due to the fact she has not considered the possibility that she may be bisexual, so she dismisses or otherwise fails to understand any attraction to women she may feel."
"And you're sure about this?" interrupts Kyoko. "You're sure she's not just, you know, straight?"
Homura fixes Kyoko with a stare, and in her eyes you see the memories of horrors incomprehensible to minds such as your own. Homura's gaze silently communicates an eternity of suffering, an endless amount of pain, all somehow related to the question of Sayaka's sexuality. "Yes," Homura says through gritted teeth. "Yes, I am one-hundred percent sure that Sayaka Miki is bisexual."
Kyoko opens her mouth, most likely intending to ask Homura is she's
really sure, but thinks better of it before she can drag Homura further into the abyss of her mind. "A-And you know this because of-"
"Wish magic," says Homura.
"Okay, makes sense," Kyoko says. "So what's the second problem?"
Homura lets out a deep breath. "The second problem is that Sayaka Miki has a crush on Kyousuke Kamijou."
Kyoko's smile fades. "Oh," she says.
"He is a childhood friend of Sayaka's."
"Oh."
"He is a world-class violinist, and his family is rich and well-regarded."
"Oh…"
"He recently had an accident that left him without the use of his right hand, though Sayaka Miki Wished for his recovery."
"Oh……."
With every detail added, Kyoko's expression grows more and more defeated. Her shoulders droop, her lips turn downward, and her eyes lose their glimmer. "So what you're saying is-"
"There is still hope," says Homura. "Item one; Kyousuke Kamijou does not return Sayaka Miki's feelings. Item two; there is someone else who also has feelings for Kyousuke Kamijou, and Kyousuke likes that person as well. Item three; while her reaction may vary slightly, Sayaka Miki
will give up on Kyousuke Kamijou if he rejects her or enters into a relationship, and she will get over him rather quickly. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
Kyoko slowly nods, expression unreadable. "So you're saying if the other two weirdos hook up…"
"Then Sayaka Miki will be perfectly ready for a relationship with you," finishes Homura.
"Well, I guess that's good," says Kyoko. "It just feels kinda, I dunno, manipulative to insert myself into her life and get her to a mental state where she'll want to date me."
"No, I am not suggesting we do
that," says Homura. "Merely informing you of the situation. In a few days, The other suitor will confess to Kyousuke Kamijou without any prompting from us, so interference would be unnecessary as well as morally dubious."
Kyoko scratches her chin, looking thoughtful. "So… I probably shouldn't put the moves on Sayaka while Kyousuke's still single, but once he hooks up with someone else or rejects her?" She pauses. "A-And what should I do if she, I dunno, asks me for love advice? I don't wanna
lie to her, but…"
"Then don't lie," says Homura. "Relationships are built on trust, so starting a relationship through lies is an incredibly poor idea."
"B-But I still know all this stuff; I know she's got a crush on some guy who doesn't like her back, I know he hooks up with someone soon... I dunno, it just feels like I'm going behind her back."
Homura frowns. "Y...Yes, I can see how that might be a problem."
"Why tell me this?" says Kyoko. "Why tell me about Kyousuke if I can't use that knowledge and have to work around it? Knowing that the guy she likes doesn't like her back gives me
hope, sure, but it's gonna be super weird if she, I dunno, asks if she should confess to him. I
know he'll say no, so what the fuck am I supposed to say?"
Homura says nothing. Kyoko stares at her, looking miffed but not exactly angry, and Homura looks away. "I…" Homura swallows. "I may have made a mistake. My apologies."
Kyoko sighs. "Yeah, I think ya did."
Well, this isn't ideal. What do you do?
[ ] Hug Homura.
[ ] Hug Kyoko.
[ ] Change the subject back to how Kyoko should go about getting with Sayaka.
[ ] Change the subject to something completely different.
[ ] Don't change the subject; Homura made a mistake, yes, but everyone makes mistakes.
