Mami Said Knock You Out, a Yuma Quest (PMMM)

[X] General tone.
--[X] Cute.
--[X] Smol.

[X] For specific people.
--[X] For Sayaka
---[X] Try and help her mend bridges with Kyoko.
---[X] Offer her advice on being a magical girl, like a good senpai.

--[X] For Homura
---[X] Be nice!
---[X] Homura clearly hasn't been hugged enough. So fix that.
---[X] Ask her to teach you her magic for her hair.

--[X] For Madoka
---[X] Bond with her over all the crap you put up with.
---[X] She has a Sayaka, Yuma has a Kyoko and Homura has her fabulous hair so Yuma, Madoka and Homura are probably going to end up spending a lot of time together.
---[X] Have a philosophical chat about chairs

--[X] For Kyoko.
---[X] Remind her to be best.
---[X] BEST!
---[X] Make sure she remembers this.

[X] Who do you (subtly) tease Homura over having a crush on?
--[X] Madoka
--[X] Sayaka
--[X] Kyoko
--[X] Her hair


You take a deep breath, clearing your mind for such an important task. You can imagine numbers and words flashing in front of you like you're some sort of advanced robot, all coming to one conclusion.

Prime Directive: Be Cute.

It is a task you are more than happy to fulfill.

"Big Sis," you say. "Just remember; Best."

"Always," says Kyoko. "Now let's go befriend the fuck out of those losers."

"Sure, but less mean," you say.

Kyoko nods, and the two of you walk into the ramen restaurant.

It's made of wood, with padded red seats surrounding circular wooden tables. You can see Homura walking towards a medium-sized table containing Madoka and Sayaka, who are waving at the three of you. You grab Kyoko's hand and pull her with you, racing over to them.

"Hey Madoka, hey Sayaka," you say. "Sorry I'm late, but I brought a Kyoko!" You gesture towards Big Sis, as if you were a salesman showing off a new product. Madoka giggles, and Sayaka merely rolls her eyes.

"Hey Yuma, hey Kyoko," says Madoka. "And Homura? What are you doing here? Not that I don't want you here, I just wasn't expecting you…"

"Yuma Chitose decided that I should be here for this discussion," says Homura. "I myself am not particularly enthusiastic, but she was very insistent."

"Why would you invite her?" says Sayaka, looking offended. "She's-"

Sayaka cuts herself off with a hiss of pain as Madoka shuffles around in her chair, a tense smile on her face.

"Well then, let's all sit down and try to get along, okay?" says Madoka.

Sayaka turns away and huffs, but the three of you sit down in the empty chairs. You sit across from Madoka and Sayaka, with Kyoko on your right and Homura on your left.

"These chairs are really great," you say. "They're soft, but not so soft that they swallow you, and they look cool too!"

"I wouldn't say that," Madoka says, putting a hand to her chin. "They're a bit bland in design, and the padding puffs out a bit much."

"But that's not important," you say. "What's important is that they make your butt feel really good."

Sayaka snickers, and you and Kyoko shoot her a questioning glance.

"While the feel is very important, I'd say the aesthetic is even more so," says Madoka, smiling at having found someone to debate chairs with. "Chairs are very important to a room's look, and these ones both clash with the rest of the design and are rather garish by themselves."

"That's cool, but the looks aren't a big deal if you can't sit on them. And this chair is very sitty-good, so I give it an A-plus!"

"So style over substance, the age-old debate," says Madoka. "Do you think we should save this for later?"

You think you've found a kindred spirit in this girl. You'll have to spend more time with her.

"Sure," you say. "So what do you say we introduce each other?"

"Don't you mean ourselves?" says Sayaka.

"No, I mean each other. I introduce Big Sis Kyoko, Kyoko introduces me, you introduce Madoka, Madoka introduces you, and Homura… she can introduce her hair!"

"Perhaps it would be better for Madoka to introduce me and for me to introduce Sayaka," says Homura. "She is somewhat more important than my hair, if only slightly more competent."

"That doesn't really say a lot," you say. "Your hair could probably kill me."

"Yeah, cause you'd let it happen," says Kyoko. "Anyway, I'll start. This little weirdo is Yuma Chitose, and she's basically my little sister. No blood relation, but she's adopted herself for me. She's a bit dense, but she can be surprisingly not stupid. Sometimes."

"That's not true!" you say.

"My point exactly. Anyway, she's eight years old and she's been a magical girl for about a month, after she made a stupid wish even when I told her not to over and over." The last part is growled out at you, and you lean away from Kyoko.

"Ease off," says Sayaka. "You don't have to be that mean to her."

"No, no, it's fine," you say. "It's an old argument. I wished to help Big Sis, but she says I should have let her handle it, and that I'm just putting myself in more danger because of it. I say that if anything ever happened to her, I would much rather be on the battlefield with her, and that I would be in a lot more danger if she died on a witch hunt or something and left me all alone."

Kyoko sighs, leaning her head down onto the table.

"Yeah, yeah, we've said our pieces a million times," she says. "And I'm sorry I got scary. I love you to bits, but you can be really stupid sometimes."

"Same here," you say. "Moving on, let me introduce my Big Sis, Kyoko Sakura. She's from Kazamino city, she's fourteen years old, and she's been a magical girl for two of those years. She's the best Big Sis ever, and she really loves food, so don't waste any!" You feign looking around, before beckoning the others to lean in closer. They comply, leaning in as you whisper; "She's super cool, and she acts like she's a huge meanie but she's really just lonely. Also, she's super-duper-"

"And that's enough about me!" says Kyoko as she wraps her hand around your mouth, "So then, Homura, what can you tell us about- eugh, did you just lick my hand?"

You have indeed done just that, and you use the moment of opportunity to shout what you were trying to say.

"I WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT MY BIG SIS IS SUPER-DUPER GAY!"

The restaurant goes silent as everyone turns to stare at you. Madoka and Sayaka are staring at you in a mix of awe and horror, Homura looks faintly amused, and Kyoko's face is approaching the same color as her hair.

"Well, that's what I wanted to say. Now Madoka, how about you tell us about Homura?"

"Oh-okay. Well, her name is Homura Akemi, and she just transferred into my class last week. She's fourteen years old, and she's been a magical girl for… actually, I don't know how long."

"I've been a magical girl for quite a long time," says Homura. "Far too long, if you ask me."

"Anyway, she's really mysterious, she can teleport or something, and she's a lot nicer than she lets on. And unlike you and Kyoko, I don't know her well enough to say if she's 'super-duper gay."

Sayaka snorts at this, but a dirty look from Madoka has her backing down.

"I do believe it is my turn," says Homura. "Allow me to introduce the most pleasant person I have ever met-"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you're introducing Sayaka," says Madoka. "You know, because if you introduced me then she wouldn't have anyone to introduce?"

Homura sighs, rubbing a palm against her forehead.

"In that case, ignore everything I just said. Meet Sayaka Miki, age fourteen. She's been a magical girl for about a week now, is unflinchingly naive, and is obsessed with the idea of being a hero of justice. If I absolutely have to say something positive…"

"You do," you and Madoka say at the same time.

"If I absolutely had to, I would say that she always tries to do the right thing. In the interest of not causing a fight in the middle of a restaurant, I will leave it at that."

Sayaka's hands are balled into fists, but she doesn't seem to be making any moves other than that.

"If you're done, then say hi to Madoka Kaname, my best friend. She's fourteen, same as me, and she isn't a magical girl just yet. She's kind, and really nice to people who don't- who act like they don't deserve it. Now if we're done with this, can we move on to whatever we're supposed to be doing?"

"If you say so," you say. "Let's move onto the serious stuff. Our first thing to talk about is Homura's hair; mainly, how it looks so cool."

Sayaka and Kyoko share a glance while Madoka snickers, and Homura simply sighs.

"I assure you, my hair is completely normal."

"Lies!" you say. "You have to be using magic! Or maybe you enchant your shampoo? Is that how it looks so good? Back me up, Madoka, her hair is way too amazing to be normal!"

Madoka blushes, former amusement fading into embarrassment as the attention is turned to her.

"I mean, I wouldn't say it's magical, though it's way too beautiful to be normal, and Oh God I said that out loud didn't I?"

Her face goes an even brighter red, and Homura joins her in blushing. Given Homura's reaction, you think you've figured out who she has a crush on. But it never hurt to check, and there's still the possibility that she has a crush on Sayaka, Kyoko, or her hair.

"Yeah, Homura's hair is really pretty," you say. "But not pretty enough that someone could have a crush on it without being weird. Definitely not."

You gaze at Homura, trying to gauge her reaction. Her blush disappears, and she stares at you in dawning horror. So it seems you've found her out, and she knows you know. Two down, two to go.

"Now on to our second thingeymajigger," you say. "Looking at our group, I see one thing in particular. One thing so obvious, yet so important." You stand up, gazing down at the rest of the group. "Homura needs to be hugged."

Homura blinks, and you use the opportunity to lean in and hug her. She once again stiffens as you make contact, but she relaxes a fair bit quicker this time.

"Yuma Chitose, please, I do not need-"

"She needs to be hugged!" you say. Madoka's staring at you two, and it is then that you realize she is sitting next to Homura as well.

"Madoka, help me out!" you say. "Yuma's hugs alone aren't enough to help her, and you're the only one here as skilled as I am!"

Madoka giggles, and slowly leans in. Homura doesn't seem too offended at the idea, and Madoka takes that as her signal to wrap her arms around Homura's shoulders. She rests her head on Homura's shoulder while you lean into Homura's side, the two of you enveloping her in a pile of care.

"R-really, this isn't necessary-" she starts to say, but you just hug her even tighter.

After a few seconds of holding her, the two of you pull away and go back to your seats. To your disappointment, Kyoko hasn't suggested that she and Sayaka form their own hug pile, just the two of them, but you'll take what you can get.

"Oh Homura, are you sad that Sayaka and Kyoko didn't join the Hug?" you say.

"Not the slightest bit," says Homura.

So just Madoka and her Hair then. Interesting...

"So now that our two most important things are out of the way, let's get down to our last topic," you say. "Kyoko, Sayaka, the two of you got off on the wrong foot last night, and I want you two to get along with each other. You were enemies last night, but you only have to be enemies if you try to. You don't have to fight."

"Don't have to be enemies?" says Sayaka. "Last night, she was talking about letting familiars go free so they can eat people! How could I be anything but enemies with someone like that?"

Well, this does pose a problem. It seems that Sayaka's a tad bit angrier at Kyoko than you had expected.

You have the urge to defend Big Sis Kyoko, but you also think that maybe Kyoko should defend herself.

What do you do?


[ ] Let Kyoko defend herself.

[ ] Backpedal. People are angry, and that's not good, so you should just make Sayaka forget about all this.

[ ] Defend Kyoko. How?
--[ ] She's just doing what she has to do!
--[ ] It's not your place to judge!
--[ ] You'd do it too, in her place!
--[ ] It's not that bad, right?
--[ ] It's not like she's outright feeding them to people!
--[ ] Something else? (Write-In)