The door swings open, and a small team of identical men and women in neat black and white enter the lair of the Residents. They're all wearing mirrored sunglasses, despite the gloom of their lavish environments, and from the way they tilt their heads, they're listening in to their earpieces.
The Residents are quite aware of what these things are. Unlike them, they're... pawns. Tools. Assets belonging to an erstwhile ally. But while the Residents truly understand their own value - and the value of everything around them - the Agency considers most of its assets to be mutually exchangeable. Its total value remains constant, but the allocation of such things is entirely mutable.
"What. Is it?" a Resident wearing a female form says, running its tongue over its lips. The gold of her rings catches the dim light. "We are occupied. What do your masters want?"
"Gentlemen. Ladies." One of the men steps forwards, adjusting his dark green tie. The executives are aware that the five of them are interchangable. It's just that the Agency likes fives. "Our agency has sent us here to inform you - as a pleasantry - that we have begun a systematic policy of censorship of mass media produced by the film industry. There are too many dangerous ideas existing within that field of human endeavour. We wish for there to be no conflict between us in this necessary containment of a field which has gone too long without proper government oversight. Ms Peach, if you will?"
"Certainly, Mr Telephone," says one of the identical women. She steps forwards, opening her briefcase, and deposits a pile of paperwork - one taller than her slimline briefcase - on the table. "Mr Telephone, this should be the transcript of the regulations which permit these actions."
"Thank you, Ms Peach," the man says, stepping back. "Gentlemen, ladies, please initial and date each clause and subclause of this documentation. Your compliance is appreciated. We shall pursue the Timetable on schedule if you cooperate. This is necessary."
"That's our territory," one of the executives snarls, chewing on his cigar. He exhales a cloud of smoke. "We have an arrangement!"
"Gentlemen. Ladies. We am sorry, but our agency wishes to inform you that we had an arrangement. We permitted you to self-regulate. You told us that you could keep things under control, that industry bodies could maintain order and proper proceedings and that we did not have to bring the force of the law to bear." He shakes his head sadly. "Ms Peach, would you say that they have successfully kept things under control."
"They have not done so, Mr Telephone," says Ms Peach. "Although I may be mistaken. What do you think, Mr Wheelbarrow?"
"I would have to agree that they have failed to keep things under control," another of the men says. "Do you have anything to contribute to this discussion, Mr Hat or Ms Piano."
"I do not," says the final man.
"I would raise the question of whether the Syndicate's attention was really in self-regulation," Ms Piano says. "We have long suspected that the Syndicate is more interested in maintaining profitability than furthering the Timetable. I look around, and what do I see?" The woman spreads her hands. "I see the same corporate executives who've let Hollywood become a place of... of moral degradation and filth. I see the same executives who've failed to stop the spread of subversive memes."
"Disgraceful," says Ms Peach. "The memes must be controlled. Self-regulation does not work. Regulation must be imposed from without to bring an end to the present disgraceful state of affairs. We have begun to enforce previously neglected regulations and have begun a widespread campaign utilising correct ideas to counter subversive memes."
"Counter the subversive memes," the other four agents echo in unison.
"You're overssssstepping your boundaries," snaps an executive, exhaling a cloud of smoke.
"No," Mr Hat - unless it was Mr Telephone - says. "Our agency has verified that our actions are within regulations. And part of the terms of the conditions which let you maintain your own self-regulation was that you would properly regulate. You have not done so." A sneer crosses the five faces together. "Moral filth. Implications of sexual impropriety. Disruptive memes passed to the populace. We will regulate this."
"Too much violence has been permitted in movies," Ms Peach says. "We will prevent it from being shown. It will obstruct the spread of subversive ideas."
"We understand subversive elements positively depict non-heteronormative sexualities," Mr Wheelbarrow says. "We can target these subversive elements through the proper tailoring of our targeted messages. This will be made easier if you comply."
"We will not comply!" hisses a Resident through sharp teeth, leaping to their feet and slamming their hands into the table, leaving dents. "Your regulations have no jurisdiction here! I own the Senator! Your laws have no power! They have not been passed! You arrogant pups will bow to us, or we will have your agency's funding cut."
One of the other Residents rests a hand on the first's shoulders. "We understand that this recent period has been... disruptive," its says in an oily tone. "Rasssssh government action will serve no one... and will be quite... expensive to enforce. You wouldn't want foriegn powers to get a competitive advantage here, would you? Otherwise we may have to move our labour overseas. Aid... other endeavours." It exhales, blowing smoke towards the agents. "Have a cigar," it says, proffering the box.
"We do not smoke," the five Agents say in unison.
The cigars vanish up the Resident's sleeves. "Well, no matter," the Resident says. "Wouldn't you prefer us to be... cooperative? We will of course comply fully with the letter of the regulations, but there is compliance and there is compliance. At the very least, I will not acknowledge such regulations until my legal team has vetted them fully. In extensive details."
"Deliberately obstructing the Timetable is a sin," Ms Piano says in a tone like ice.
The Resident smiles. "But I do not know if it is in the Timetable until my lawyers have inspected it, and it would be imprudent to accept these regulations until we have vetted them for impact against the Timetable. It is for the good of the Union." Its smile grows wider. "And when we mention the good of the Union, I am sure I would be better convinced of your good intentions and faith if you would look at the other problem which has got in the way of the self-regulation regime which has held up perfectly well until now. I speak, of course, of Iteration X," he says to Mr Telephone.
The pale man's knuckles whiten around his briefcase. "Gentlemen. Ladies. I reassure you, Iteration X will face due punishment for its quite shocking incompetence in this - and other recent - matters. Gentlemen, ladies, I reassure you of this. Iteration X appears to have forgotten the necessity of the Timetable. It has overtly displayed technology beyond the permitted level of development on Earth. It acts without the proper consultations with my parent agency. Corrective measures will be taken against it. Regulations state that my agency is entrusted with internal regulation of the Technocratic Union, and Iteration X is in dire need of extensive regulation. But, gentlemen and ladies, that is not the topic under discussion."
The Resident smiles a smile which reaches from ear to ear. "Oh, no doubt, no doubt," it says. It gestures to the long table, which is suddenly longer than it was and has five more seats. "Please, please, sit," it says. "Let us liaise. Scratch our back and we will scratch yours. I am sure that we will have a mutually profitable transaction."