The laboratory is clean. Sterile. Lifeless. But within its antiseptic-smelling environment, two rivals square off. One is only slightly augmented from baseline - enough to give it an edge, nothing more. The other was built from the ground up to be better in every way than its source material, a killing machine wearing the assumed form of something small and harmless.
They eye each other up. Who will be the ultimate victor in this conflict?
"Mraaaaa," mews the little blue-eyed, grey furred kitten.
"Maaaa," bleats the conglomerate of amorphous variform cells currently occupying the shape of a goat kid.
"Mraaaaaaaa."
"Maaaaa."
"Ohmygosh they're getting on so well it's so cute," says the high end combat construct with integrated multifunction haemophage genetics and phenotypical macrostructures, clasping her hands together in joy. "Come on, Ceres! Shake! Shake!" She holds out the kitten's paw, trying to guide it. "Shake! Good girl!"
Donald blinks as he looked through the door. It appears that Rose is trying to get a baby goat and a kitten to shake hands. Paws. Hooves. Whatever.
Well.
Okay.
All right then.
He decides to go ask Serafina what the fuck is going on in the labs. He's not sure he wants to know what Rose thinks is going on.
"So," he says, stepping into her office. It's not as nice as his office, but it's a solid seven on the office scale. She could improve it by getting more ironic henchmen decorations, a big wall display showing lots of clocks with the time in major cities, and maybe replacing her chair with a big black one with red buttons on the arm, but at least she has a large holo-globe. Holo-globes are important.
Director Belltower's office is only a three. It's too starkly bare, and too much of the wall space is taken up by filing cabinets. It's very disappointing. Maybe he should redecorate for her. For when she's better. Because she is going to get better. No doubt. For sure.
Serafina whirls on her chair to face him. She's chewing on her pen. "You said 'so' in that annoying way," she says tersely. "Please, get to the point."
"You sound tense," he says, trying to mollify her.
"Tense? A little, yes," she says. "I'm having to field things from two members of Command at the moment, and the very fact that General Aleph hasn't contacted me yet to pass on some message of well-wishing for the Director means he's up to something else."
"Maybe he doesn't know."
"Do you really think he doesn't know?" she asks.
"Well, no, of course he knows," Donald admits, "but I live in hope." He decides to get to the point. "Why is Rose playing with a kitten and a baby goat in the labs?"
"Because I told her to," Serafina says irritably.
"Ah. Next question. Why did you tell her to play with a kitten and a baby goat in the labs?"
Serafina sighs. "Almacia, that teenage Void Engineer who really should join the Progenitors? She sent me that combat homunculus. Yes, it's not just a pet goat. It's a non-differentiated mass of phenovariable cells capable of rapid reconfiguration with no vital organs. In the shape of a goat."
Donald opens his mouth. Donald closes his mouth. "Why is it a goat?" he asks.
"I have no idea," Serafina says, running her hands through her hair. "Her documentation is... uh, about average for a teenage Progenitor prodigy, speaking from experience. She may have just decided to improve goats and got carried away. It is apparently called 'Fluffles-041', indicating an interesting, explosive, and entirely typical development cycle."
"Wait, how would you get 'carried away' at 'improving goats'? How does that make sense to anyone who's not..." he catches Serafina's glare. "Shutting up now." Then his brain kicks into action. "And when can the Void Engineers spare combat homunculii for anyone?"
Serafina smirks in a very superior manner. "Precisely."
"It's here to spy on us?"
"Almost certainly."
"Tactical Goatspionage Action."
"Thank you, Donald." Serafina taps her fingers on the table. "I think we have the Void Engineers worried and suspicious with our... recent actions."
"More worried and suspicious, you mean."
"That goes without saying." She flaps her hand in his direction. "Anyway, I have Rose working on checking it for overrides, command directives, and the like. She's a fully competent doctor and biologist and it does her good to be reminded of her non-military skills. I'd rather not have it turn on us and tear out our throats while looking adorable. And I have paaaaaaaaaaaaperwork," she adds, collapsing forwards onto her desk.
"I'll leave you to it," Donald says, letting himself out.
"A gentleman would have offered to help," Serafina calls out after him.
Donald is struck by an inexplicable and sudden-onset case of pathological deafness.
