- Location
- Poland
I would also recommend the posts about writing (you need to find them) on Larry Correira blog Monster Hunter Nation.
Titan of Steel (Dungeoncore)
- Thread starter We Just Write
- Start date
- Original Novel Fantasy
I would also recommend the posts about writing (you need to find them) on Larry Correira blog Monster Hunter Nation.
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
I can at the very least answer this question. The vast majority of Titan power sources, to be completely blunt, are not suitable for space travel. This is often because they rely on some sort of external phenomena or resource (such as the Titan of Bone's dependence on draining life force), meaning that they just don't work in space, or might not survive an orbital launch.
- Location
- Philippines, Manila, Tarlac City
Gremlin: SIR! Dragon managed to decommission Titan mk. 3! Orders!
Dungeon: It's adorable how that it thinks it won already. Unleash the spacesquid!
Honestly, at this point I would suggest developing something similar to the rods from god concept, and also developing some orbital drop special forces clockworks if at all possible, or orbital drop special forces mutants if clockworks aren't viable. Use the spec ops minions to snag as many of the shinies and innocent civilians potentially caught in the crossfire as possible, then level the capital from high orbit with as many rods from god per second as can be sustained for a few hours.
After that, tell any non-Grand Dragon dictators and dickhead monarchs to knock it off or be wiped from the face of the planet, and just repeat the process for the other Grand Dragons.
After that, tell any non-Grand Dragon dictators and dickhead monarchs to knock it off or be wiped from the face of the planet, and just repeat the process for the other Grand Dragons.
On The Species Of Dragons, On The Nature of Adventurers, The Dungeon Life Cycle
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
From the works of the acclaimed Dwarven scholar A. Jertren. Banned in all countries ruled by a Grand Dragon.
On The Species of Dragons
The world plays host to countless species of reptilian monsters with incendiary abilites, many of which are commonly referred to as dragons by the uninformed. In all but very few cases, this is in fact an incorrect classification, as detailed taxonomic studies have determined that this planet is only home to three species of true Dragons.
Draconis Minor: Lesser Dragons
The only non-sapient species of true Dragon, Lesser Dragons are about the same size as a large bovine, and roughly as smart. As with all Dragons, the Lesser variety is capable of both flight and fire-breathing, though they lack much proficiency at either. That said, Lesser Dragons are the fastest to reproduce, which often sees them hunted by those who want to get at their aluminum skeleton. Given this factor, the fact that Lesser Dragon is fairly delicious, and the possible uses for a tamed Lesser Dragon as a beast of burden or aerial mount, there have been several attempts to domesticate them, most of which have been unsuccessful as of the time of this writing.
Lesser Dragons on average require around 20 kilograms of food daily, of which a significant quantity must be Bauxite; how they extract the aluminum from those rocks in a metabolically efficient manner is currently not known to science.
Draconis Draconis: Common Dragons
As the name implies, Common Dragons are a rather prevalent species of dragon, such that it is not terribly uncommon for a town to have one or two of them living nearby. Common Dragons are both sapient and capable of speech, meaning that there is a significant demographic of Common Dragons that attempt to make a living in humanoid societies.
Physiologically, Common Dragons are roughly the size of a small elephant, with the six-limbed body plan common to Dragons of all sorts; four legs, two wings. Additionally, unlike Lesser Dragons, the Common Dragon has the ability to flame from both its mouth and hindquarters; in the former case, the flame is a means of attack, while in the latter case the flame is used to provide thrust, allowing Common Dragons to fly much faster than they would otherwise be able to.
The diet of a Common Dragon is both rather large, and significantly different from that of a typical humanoid; on average, a Common Dragon needs to consume around eighty kilograms of material each day to stay in good health; of these eighty kilograms, thirty kilograms are various refined metals, which Common Dragons require in order to ensure their skeletons and scales grow properly, along with various metabolic functions. Of the rest of their diet, Common Dragons need to consume large quantities of fat, in order to acquire the calories they need to fuel themselves, especially if they want to flame or fly.
Note: The flames which Lesser and Common Dragons produce are NOT true dragonfire; they are relatively simple combustion reactions, the principles behind which are well understood.
Draconis Grandiose: Grand Dragons
By far the largest species of Dragon ever encountered, Grand Dragons are absolutely massive beings commonly massing up to two hundred thousand tons, and with a wingspan stretching for hundreds of meters. One would think that a creature this utterly massive would require an utterly massive food supply, but this is surprisingly not the case; in fact, Grand Dragons have never been observed to eat, which indicates that one or more of their organs likely violates the Perpetual Mana Prevention Principle.
This observation is upheld by the deadly ability Grand Dragons are known for, namely Dragonfire. Though the composition of the reagents which produce these flames is not known to science, the effects of Dragonfire are well-known. Whole surface-dweller cities can and have been obliterated in mere minutes by an irate Grand Dragon, as Dragonfire not only burns at millions of degrees, but also imparts a large amount of raw kinetic energy to anything it hits.
Psychologically, Grand Dragons exhibit a uniformity of behavioral traits which is unique among sapient species; for any other sapient you could find a range of ideologies, beliefs, and other such things. Not so among Grand Dragons; each and every specimen so far examined exhibits extreme megalomania, paranoia, kleptomania, and a near total lack of empathy. This leads most Grand Dragons to attempt to take over a territory to rule over, followed by installing themselves as an almost always oppressive dictator. Given the unfortunate power which Grand Dragons possess, they are more often than not successful in such an endeavor.
NOTE: Given the extreme uniformity of Grand Dragon psychological traits, and their implausible levels of physiological difference from the closely related Common Dragon, it has been suggested that Grand Dragons were created artificially for some purpose or other. This theory does not enjoy much support among the scientific community, but was included for completeness.
On The Nature of Adventurers
The common term for those who pursue a life of monster-hunting and dungeon-delving, Adventurers perform a crucial service ensuring the safety of sapient societies. That said, experienced adventurers often display a variety of traits that none of their species could attain through simple training; this can include amplified physical attributes, an ability to rapidly cast spells that puts their peers to shame, or in extreme cases developing new appendages that their species doesn't have by default. One of the more common examples of that last possibility is human adventurers developing a pair of feathered wings and the ability to fly.
The question, therefore, is how do adventurers develop such bizarre capabilities? To find the answer, one merely needs to take a look at the typical lifestyle of an Adventurer, which involves spending large amounts of time in close proximity to high levels of ambient mana, either from the monsters they fight, or the dungeons they invade. This being the cause of adventurers developing their anomalous traits has been experimentally verified by researchers at the University of Spelopolis using a geothermal mana generator.
Adventurers who have been queried about how they grow in power as they gain experience have indicated that they have partial control over how they grow in response to ambient mana exposure, but that the precise form the manifestations take often depends on the source of mana get the most exposure to early in their career. Being a bit more precise, the themes of dungeon that the adventurer spends their first six months of adventuring in tend to imprint upon the adventurer, which both opens new avenues for them to explore, and closes others to them.
As an example, if an adventurer got their start in a dungeon featuring large quantities of incorporeal undead, they would likely gain access to various necromantic abilities and possibly the ability to become incorporeal. But by the same measure, they would lose access to other possibilities, such as the inspired tinkering ability that those who got their start in Clockwork dungeons often develop.
The Dungeon Life Cycle
Commonly reviled by people for sending monsters to do various nefarious deeds, Dungeons are chronically misunderstood beings. When people think of a Dungeon, they often think of the corridors filled with monsters, traps and treasure. This is inaccurate; the Dungeon itself is merely the core which resides somewhere inside said structure, and the structure itself can be more accurately thought of as a shell that the Dungeon constructs for its own defense or other goals. Worth noting is that a Dungeon cannot move outside of its own structure under any circumstances, but they are quite capable of moving their structure if they meet the requirements.
Broadly, Dungeons proceed through several stages of life as they mature. These stages shall be listed and elaborated on below.
Stage 1: Planting and Germination
Somewhat similarly to plants, Dungeons grow from seeds; Dungeon seeds are commonly mistaken for small gemstones by most who see them, seeing as they are crystalline in nature and come in any of dozens of colors. While any given Dungeon Seed only has a one-in-one-hundred chance to be fertile, the fact of the matter is that this is still plenty for Dungeons to reliably reproduce.
When a fertile Dungeon Seed is left unattended on a flat surface, it will slowly sink through said surface over the course of several days, eventually reaching a depth of twenty meters relative to where it started. Over the next three to five years the seed will gradually add mass to become a full-sized Dungeon, while also autonomously excavating a rudimentary Structure. Once the Dungeon excavates its initial entrance, it is said to have germinated, and experiences its first moments of consciousness.
Stage 2: The Juvenile Phase
A newly germinated Dungeon is a rather unimpressive sight, simply consisting of a roughly excavated corridor and room with the Dungeon inside. Within a few minutes though, some changes can be expected as the Dungeon will expend its stored reserve of mana to both spawn its first minion and make a few minor alterations to its layout. The appearance of the first minion is generally a good indicator of what a Dungeon's theme later in life might be, but surprises are still possible. In particular, it is possible for an adventuring party who happens upon such a young Dungeon to force the themes they have been imprinted with on the Dungeon simply by entering the Structure.
Dungeon behavior during this phase is usually focused on a frantic race to accumulate more mana, which often leads to the Dungeon's first minion being sent on scavenging missions to acquire organic material for decomposition. It is quite possible for a Dungeon's first minions to go feral during this period if they spend too long outside the Dungeon's immediate area of influence, which can be devastating for a new Dungeon on multiple fronts.
Once a Dungeon acquires a cohesive theme, they are no longer considered juvenile; this usually takes a few weeks to a few months, but has been known to happen in much shorter lengths of time if a Dungeon receives a large windfall of mana.
Stage 3: Maturity
Once a Dungeon has a cohesive theme, they will usually start creating incentives for Adventurers to come, such as treasures to loot, or truly beautiful sightseeing spots; this is speculated to be an instinctive behavior due to how near-universal it is. Very rarely will someone ever encounter a Dungeon who builds their Structure with the goal of exterminating every single intruder. In fact, it has been observed that Dungeons who go for too long without visitors will often experience symptoms similar to clinical depression.
The reason for this behavior ties back into the Dungeon reproductive cycle; namely Dungeon Seeds. If one inspects the treasures they recover from a dungeon, they will often find that they have several small gems studded on them in various locations. These gems are in fact Dungeon Seeds, and will drop off the treasure some time later if they are fertile, causing a new Dungeon to begin germinating.
A mature Dungeon should continue developing its structure indefinitely as it ages, growing more and more massive and complex.
Stage 4: Old Age
Firstly, Dungeons do in fact have a limited lifespan even without being killed. Detailed records show that the longest a Dungeon has ever lived for is roughly 310 years, but the average life expectancy barring violence is closer to 230 years. That said, the signs of a Dungeon's final, terminal decline often don't set in until around twenty years before the Dungeon passes away.
Symptoms of a Dungeon reaching the end of its life include losing control over minions, difficulties replacing losses among both minions and treasure, the Dungeon's structure being in noticeably poor repair, an inability to construct new rooms, total infertility, and cognitive decay. These issues start out extremely minor at first, but they get worse at an exponential rate as a Dungeon's end grows near.
When a Dungeon finally dies, its structure doesn't disappear, simply staying in place as it decays normally. Furthermore, the Dungeon's extent minions all immediately become feral, often wandering out into the wilderness and causing all sorts of problems to surrounding settlements. This usually prompts bands of adventurers to invade the deceased Dungeon's structure, either to carry off what loot they can, or in a misguided attempt at revenge upon a being that is already dead and gone.
Stage X: Titan
Worth noting is that not all Dungeons follow the above progression through life exactly. A small minority instead take it upon themselves to build their structure into a mobile form; the vast majority of these fail to achieve Titan-hood due to an insufficient mana supply. That said, Dungeons that happen upon a means of acquiring truly vast quantities of mana are quite capable of building themselves into a Titan any time they choose to. Aside from being mobile and having enough combat capabilities to rival a Grand Dragon, Titans are identical to normal Dungeons in every physiological sense.
On The Species of Dragons
The world plays host to countless species of reptilian monsters with incendiary abilites, many of which are commonly referred to as dragons by the uninformed. In all but very few cases, this is in fact an incorrect classification, as detailed taxonomic studies have determined that this planet is only home to three species of true Dragons.
Draconis Minor: Lesser Dragons
The only non-sapient species of true Dragon, Lesser Dragons are about the same size as a large bovine, and roughly as smart. As with all Dragons, the Lesser variety is capable of both flight and fire-breathing, though they lack much proficiency at either. That said, Lesser Dragons are the fastest to reproduce, which often sees them hunted by those who want to get at their aluminum skeleton. Given this factor, the fact that Lesser Dragon is fairly delicious, and the possible uses for a tamed Lesser Dragon as a beast of burden or aerial mount, there have been several attempts to domesticate them, most of which have been unsuccessful as of the time of this writing.
Lesser Dragons on average require around 20 kilograms of food daily, of which a significant quantity must be Bauxite; how they extract the aluminum from those rocks in a metabolically efficient manner is currently not known to science.
Draconis Draconis: Common Dragons
As the name implies, Common Dragons are a rather prevalent species of dragon, such that it is not terribly uncommon for a town to have one or two of them living nearby. Common Dragons are both sapient and capable of speech, meaning that there is a significant demographic of Common Dragons that attempt to make a living in humanoid societies.
Physiologically, Common Dragons are roughly the size of a small elephant, with the six-limbed body plan common to Dragons of all sorts; four legs, two wings. Additionally, unlike Lesser Dragons, the Common Dragon has the ability to flame from both its mouth and hindquarters; in the former case, the flame is a means of attack, while in the latter case the flame is used to provide thrust, allowing Common Dragons to fly much faster than they would otherwise be able to.
The diet of a Common Dragon is both rather large, and significantly different from that of a typical humanoid; on average, a Common Dragon needs to consume around eighty kilograms of material each day to stay in good health; of these eighty kilograms, thirty kilograms are various refined metals, which Common Dragons require in order to ensure their skeletons and scales grow properly, along with various metabolic functions. Of the rest of their diet, Common Dragons need to consume large quantities of fat, in order to acquire the calories they need to fuel themselves, especially if they want to flame or fly.
Note: The flames which Lesser and Common Dragons produce are NOT true dragonfire; they are relatively simple combustion reactions, the principles behind which are well understood.
Draconis Grandiose: Grand Dragons
By far the largest species of Dragon ever encountered, Grand Dragons are absolutely massive beings commonly massing up to two hundred thousand tons, and with a wingspan stretching for hundreds of meters. One would think that a creature this utterly massive would require an utterly massive food supply, but this is surprisingly not the case; in fact, Grand Dragons have never been observed to eat, which indicates that one or more of their organs likely violates the Perpetual Mana Prevention Principle.
This observation is upheld by the deadly ability Grand Dragons are known for, namely Dragonfire. Though the composition of the reagents which produce these flames is not known to science, the effects of Dragonfire are well-known. Whole surface-dweller cities can and have been obliterated in mere minutes by an irate Grand Dragon, as Dragonfire not only burns at millions of degrees, but also imparts a large amount of raw kinetic energy to anything it hits.
Psychologically, Grand Dragons exhibit a uniformity of behavioral traits which is unique among sapient species; for any other sapient you could find a range of ideologies, beliefs, and other such things. Not so among Grand Dragons; each and every specimen so far examined exhibits extreme megalomania, paranoia, kleptomania, and a near total lack of empathy. This leads most Grand Dragons to attempt to take over a territory to rule over, followed by installing themselves as an almost always oppressive dictator. Given the unfortunate power which Grand Dragons possess, they are more often than not successful in such an endeavor.
NOTE: Given the extreme uniformity of Grand Dragon psychological traits, and their implausible levels of physiological difference from the closely related Common Dragon, it has been suggested that Grand Dragons were created artificially for some purpose or other. This theory does not enjoy much support among the scientific community, but was included for completeness.
On The Nature of Adventurers
The common term for those who pursue a life of monster-hunting and dungeon-delving, Adventurers perform a crucial service ensuring the safety of sapient societies. That said, experienced adventurers often display a variety of traits that none of their species could attain through simple training; this can include amplified physical attributes, an ability to rapidly cast spells that puts their peers to shame, or in extreme cases developing new appendages that their species doesn't have by default. One of the more common examples of that last possibility is human adventurers developing a pair of feathered wings and the ability to fly.
The question, therefore, is how do adventurers develop such bizarre capabilities? To find the answer, one merely needs to take a look at the typical lifestyle of an Adventurer, which involves spending large amounts of time in close proximity to high levels of ambient mana, either from the monsters they fight, or the dungeons they invade. This being the cause of adventurers developing their anomalous traits has been experimentally verified by researchers at the University of Spelopolis using a geothermal mana generator.
Adventurers who have been queried about how they grow in power as they gain experience have indicated that they have partial control over how they grow in response to ambient mana exposure, but that the precise form the manifestations take often depends on the source of mana get the most exposure to early in their career. Being a bit more precise, the themes of dungeon that the adventurer spends their first six months of adventuring in tend to imprint upon the adventurer, which both opens new avenues for them to explore, and closes others to them.
As an example, if an adventurer got their start in a dungeon featuring large quantities of incorporeal undead, they would likely gain access to various necromantic abilities and possibly the ability to become incorporeal. But by the same measure, they would lose access to other possibilities, such as the inspired tinkering ability that those who got their start in Clockwork dungeons often develop.
The Dungeon Life Cycle
Commonly reviled by people for sending monsters to do various nefarious deeds, Dungeons are chronically misunderstood beings. When people think of a Dungeon, they often think of the corridors filled with monsters, traps and treasure. This is inaccurate; the Dungeon itself is merely the core which resides somewhere inside said structure, and the structure itself can be more accurately thought of as a shell that the Dungeon constructs for its own defense or other goals. Worth noting is that a Dungeon cannot move outside of its own structure under any circumstances, but they are quite capable of moving their structure if they meet the requirements.
Broadly, Dungeons proceed through several stages of life as they mature. These stages shall be listed and elaborated on below.
Stage 1: Planting and Germination
Somewhat similarly to plants, Dungeons grow from seeds; Dungeon seeds are commonly mistaken for small gemstones by most who see them, seeing as they are crystalline in nature and come in any of dozens of colors. While any given Dungeon Seed only has a one-in-one-hundred chance to be fertile, the fact of the matter is that this is still plenty for Dungeons to reliably reproduce.
When a fertile Dungeon Seed is left unattended on a flat surface, it will slowly sink through said surface over the course of several days, eventually reaching a depth of twenty meters relative to where it started. Over the next three to five years the seed will gradually add mass to become a full-sized Dungeon, while also autonomously excavating a rudimentary Structure. Once the Dungeon excavates its initial entrance, it is said to have germinated, and experiences its first moments of consciousness.
Stage 2: The Juvenile Phase
A newly germinated Dungeon is a rather unimpressive sight, simply consisting of a roughly excavated corridor and room with the Dungeon inside. Within a few minutes though, some changes can be expected as the Dungeon will expend its stored reserve of mana to both spawn its first minion and make a few minor alterations to its layout. The appearance of the first minion is generally a good indicator of what a Dungeon's theme later in life might be, but surprises are still possible. In particular, it is possible for an adventuring party who happens upon such a young Dungeon to force the themes they have been imprinted with on the Dungeon simply by entering the Structure.
Dungeon behavior during this phase is usually focused on a frantic race to accumulate more mana, which often leads to the Dungeon's first minion being sent on scavenging missions to acquire organic material for decomposition. It is quite possible for a Dungeon's first minions to go feral during this period if they spend too long outside the Dungeon's immediate area of influence, which can be devastating for a new Dungeon on multiple fronts.
Once a Dungeon acquires a cohesive theme, they are no longer considered juvenile; this usually takes a few weeks to a few months, but has been known to happen in much shorter lengths of time if a Dungeon receives a large windfall of mana.
Stage 3: Maturity
Once a Dungeon has a cohesive theme, they will usually start creating incentives for Adventurers to come, such as treasures to loot, or truly beautiful sightseeing spots; this is speculated to be an instinctive behavior due to how near-universal it is. Very rarely will someone ever encounter a Dungeon who builds their Structure with the goal of exterminating every single intruder. In fact, it has been observed that Dungeons who go for too long without visitors will often experience symptoms similar to clinical depression.
The reason for this behavior ties back into the Dungeon reproductive cycle; namely Dungeon Seeds. If one inspects the treasures they recover from a dungeon, they will often find that they have several small gems studded on them in various locations. These gems are in fact Dungeon Seeds, and will drop off the treasure some time later if they are fertile, causing a new Dungeon to begin germinating.
A mature Dungeon should continue developing its structure indefinitely as it ages, growing more and more massive and complex.
Stage 4: Old Age
Firstly, Dungeons do in fact have a limited lifespan even without being killed. Detailed records show that the longest a Dungeon has ever lived for is roughly 310 years, but the average life expectancy barring violence is closer to 230 years. That said, the signs of a Dungeon's final, terminal decline often don't set in until around twenty years before the Dungeon passes away.
Symptoms of a Dungeon reaching the end of its life include losing control over minions, difficulties replacing losses among both minions and treasure, the Dungeon's structure being in noticeably poor repair, an inability to construct new rooms, total infertility, and cognitive decay. These issues start out extremely minor at first, but they get worse at an exponential rate as a Dungeon's end grows near.
When a Dungeon finally dies, its structure doesn't disappear, simply staying in place as it decays normally. Furthermore, the Dungeon's extent minions all immediately become feral, often wandering out into the wilderness and causing all sorts of problems to surrounding settlements. This usually prompts bands of adventurers to invade the deceased Dungeon's structure, either to carry off what loot they can, or in a misguided attempt at revenge upon a being that is already dead and gone.
Stage X: Titan
Worth noting is that not all Dungeons follow the above progression through life exactly. A small minority instead take it upon themselves to build their structure into a mobile form; the vast majority of these fail to achieve Titan-hood due to an insufficient mana supply. That said, Dungeons that happen upon a means of acquiring truly vast quantities of mana are quite capable of building themselves into a Titan any time they choose to. Aside from being mobile and having enough combat capabilities to rival a Grand Dragon, Titans are identical to normal Dungeons in every physiological sense.
... Huh. At this point, I wonder if the main character can figure out how to artificially extend his "life" via technology? I wouldn't be surprised if sooner or later he or his goblins wind up developing more modern computers, at which point it's possible a path to making an artificial Dungeon Core that wouldn't fail due to old age could open up. That sort of thing would probably make everyone very concerned, because suddenly you have something that is immortal in a setting where that normally couldn't be a thing, operates in violation of the "known" principles of how magic works, and has access to technology and magic in advance of anything the world had ever seen.
We Just Write
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I'm not going down that route; I get enough complaints of Sue-ness already.
The issue isn't Sue-ness as such, it's a combination of pretty serious power ramp up and a setting that can't supply the kind of challenges it needs long term. If you were to multi-cross into, say, Star Wars, it would instantly stop being a story about magitech nuclear mecha curb-stomping a generic fantasy world and start being something a bit more equal, since they have FTL, shields, reaction-less drives, populations of trillions and so on and you do not.
In any case, handing yourself the idiot ball doesn't really solve the problem, especially in the absence of characterization that would support it, so if you respond to these complaints by slowing down or stopping the progress for no good in-story reason I will be somewhat disappointed.
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I will say this: The challenges I have planned for after Corenzite is dead are not the sort of problems which brute force is a solution to. Well, except for that one, but it's the finale.
Wow, this has totally jumped the shark, me likes! Though the critics have a point too, but who cares? Write unpublishable trash until you can do better. There still is a market, though it's too tiny to harness. Like a little mouse, it won't get you anywhere but it looks cute. You still have readers! Good authors are old people anyway, so don't go breaking yourself trying to get there faster, c'est impossible.
At this point the dragon might believe the steel titan is dead, so now the MC can fade into the background. Build some avatars and envoys and send them down, help more people and make more friends, and see where it gets you. Make it about the people on the surface and how the new skygod affects them. Unless you go for the giant space sharks route and your new space station is now just so much space-shark chow. If your spacesharks don't have lasers on their heads though I'll be disappointed.
I'm calling him a Skygod because his base must be visible from down under. At 1200km height you only need to build a disc 10.8km across to appear as large as the moon or the sun, if only visible from a small portion of the globe at a time and much faster moving. So it wouldn't be hard to build something at lest in appearance larger than the resident skygods. Or, since the resident skygods are so conveniently the same size, you could aim for the same too just to fuck with everyone. Anyway, he will be noticed and endlessly discussed.
You could also make something much much bigger, if mostly empty. If you add enough engines so that it can hover instead of orbit, then you can make passable eclipses and get the surface empires to kowtow to you and adopt any laws you care to tell them. You might want to have reactionless engines for this so you don't fry anyone. Or point them sideways at an angle and cause a halo shaped lightshow all around you but only in the upper atmosphere. Or use those guns that fire those particles that pass harmlessly through planets, as engines, I forget the name? Is is masons? Does this SF gun really fire intangible fathers of the American revolution? I hope this is correct.
You could make lots of huge titans and playhouse Olympus up there where everyone can see. It's like TV, but in space! Then build a planetary news network just so that your fans can keep up with the gods' shenanigans when they're not visible. Make them display some modern values and see how the groundpounders all fall over one another to imitate them faster. And you could sell trips to olympus to the rich where they can address the gods directly and receive a blessing for the good and a bracing radiation bath for the bad. It might kill you but it makes your soul better and that's all that matters! Repent! Biggus Dickus — the shapeshifting god of thunder and therapist of the gods — said it, so it must be true!
At this point the dragon might believe the steel titan is dead, so now the MC can fade into the background. Build some avatars and envoys and send them down, help more people and make more friends, and see where it gets you. Make it about the people on the surface and how the new skygod affects them. Unless you go for the giant space sharks route and your new space station is now just so much space-shark chow. If your spacesharks don't have lasers on their heads though I'll be disappointed.
I'm calling him a Skygod because his base must be visible from down under. At 1200km height you only need to build a disc 10.8km across to appear as large as the moon or the sun, if only visible from a small portion of the globe at a time and much faster moving. So it wouldn't be hard to build something at lest in appearance larger than the resident skygods. Or, since the resident skygods are so conveniently the same size, you could aim for the same too just to fuck with everyone. Anyway, he will be noticed and endlessly discussed.
You could also make something much much bigger, if mostly empty. If you add enough engines so that it can hover instead of orbit, then you can make passable eclipses and get the surface empires to kowtow to you and adopt any laws you care to tell them. You might want to have reactionless engines for this so you don't fry anyone. Or point them sideways at an angle and cause a halo shaped lightshow all around you but only in the upper atmosphere. Or use those guns that fire those particles that pass harmlessly through planets, as engines, I forget the name? Is is masons? Does this SF gun really fire intangible fathers of the American revolution? I hope this is correct.
You could make lots of huge titans and play
draconix
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Loved that line.
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The way you have described this has made me even more certain not to go down this route than I already was.
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How does a dungeon unlock new species anyway? And what kind of dungeon would even create dwarfs anyway?
I'm a bit dubious of his mutant category. Any specific plans for those?
I'm a bit dubious of his mutant category. Any specific plans for those?
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Either surgically alter them into clockwork brained cyborgs so I can actually use them in the outside world, or something.
Umi-san
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Tbh I'd just land on the moon and start digging into it until the entire thing is made a dungeon populated with billions of goblins. Dedicate some of the goblins to researching how to prevent goblin insanity when outside of our control and then establish a goblin civilization to occupy the moon after the dungeon's death.
Develop human-like partially autonomous clockwork golems to infiltrate the societies run by the Great Dragons. Then perform a mix of fomenting rebellion, inciting conflict between the Great Dragons, and technologically uplifting the natives of a particular region so as to establish an advanced society under our control. Dig down to prevent a dwarven incursion. Build up and create a space elevator from that territory to a space station managed by the no-longer-dungeon-dependent goblins.
Put the humans on some independent rotating tube colonies with engines, a magic generator, and the ability to self-replicate and send the out into the universe. Over the centuries left to us, see what species arise from these colonies. Take samples of the Great Dragons and put our researchers into studying them and incorporating desirable traits into the lineages of our servitors.
etc.
Develop human-like partially autonomous clockwork golems to infiltrate the societies run by the Great Dragons. Then perform a mix of fomenting rebellion, inciting conflict between the Great Dragons, and technologically uplifting the natives of a particular region so as to establish an advanced society under our control. Dig down to prevent a dwarven incursion. Build up and create a space elevator from that territory to a space station managed by the no-longer-dungeon-dependent goblins.
Put the humans on some independent rotating tube colonies with engines, a magic generator, and the ability to self-replicate and send the out into the universe. Over the centuries left to us, see what species arise from these colonies. Take samples of the Great Dragons and put our researchers into studying them and incorporating desirable traits into the lineages of our servitors.
etc.
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#NotAQuest
- Location
- kentucky
not make dwarf teach the forking dwarfs already in the world dude
- Location
- Philippines, Manila, Tarlac City
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
If you're getting told multiple times that you've got a problem with Sue-ness, what does that tell you? Does your answer change if the people saying it are offering constructive criticism as opposed to "haha u r the suxdor Sue!!!1!!!122!!" ?
Yes, that's lovely, but most people won't keep reading simply because you promise that "No, really, there's challenges and awesome stuff coming! Just give me half a million words to do the curb-stomp setup!" You've spent 16,000 words on curbstomping everything, now get to the actual challenges.
I said this early on -- you don't need to faff about with all this crap. If you want to get to a certain point, timeskip to that with a couple hundred words of appropriate scaffolding and then get on with it. You threadmarked the example I wrote, so clearly you considered it to have some merit, but you don't seem to be actually internalizing it.
There's a story about...Robert Jordan, I believe, although it might have been GRRM. He's writing the first book of his series, sprawling on through hundreds of pages of scenery-chewing setup, and his wife is beta-reading for him.
Wife: Honey, this is great and all, but is something eventually going to happen?
RJ: Yeah, I just need to finish this setup. See, I'm going to need this character in a couple of books, so--
Wife: Honey, if the audience gets frustrated at the lack of things happening, there won't BE another book.
You'll always be able to find more wankery to commit -- atomic turbines to speed, railguns, rods from god, space exploration, whatever. There's a small audience for power-fantasy wankery and scenery chewing, so you'll always get a few likes. If you actually want to improve as a writer, though...well, then you need to stretch a bit. Identify your weaknesses and seek to eliminate them. (For me it's showing the characters' internal reality; I tend to put the camera outside the protagonist's head too much.)
If you're like Bob Forward and you want to write physics textbooks thinly disguised as SF, fine...but you're not doing that.
If you're like Edwin Abbott and you want to write political commentary thinly described as extradimensional fiction, fine...but you're not doing that.
What you've got is a dungeon core fantasy setting with a novel twist: atomic clockpunk. What you don't have is a novel. Seriously, you've got the makings of a decent writer. Stop fucking around.
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
It might interest you to know that until this point, this entire project has been freewritten. No drafts, no betas, no notes, nada. If you're interested in beta-ing, the help would be appreciated.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I had assumed that was the case, actually. We're all super busy these days; writing is fun, but planning and editing are not, so serial fiction passion projects typically aren't planned or edited more than sketchily -- certainly none of my books were.
That doesn't mean you can't have a rough plan, and it certainly doesn't excuse you from needing to have challenges. You don't need to go bonkers with it, but you should have something. As an example, here's approximately what I wrote when I was planning The Two Year Emperor (pardon me if this seems like tooting my own horn, but I only have examples of my own work):
portal fantasy; D&D-ish, works off of strict RAW. they summon people to serve as their rulers for two years because it grants access to new ideas and new tech. in theory ruler is absolute, in practice there is a council that tempers him. hero arrives just as the country is being invaded. enemy commander is more skilled, army more powerful, than anything locals have, so protag must munchkin. main characters: Thomas, head of Landguard (org of paladins, protect ruler. loyal to Land, Law, Ruler, in that order. scary powerful -- oh, another check on ruler). Archwizards. High Priest. NB: state religion? one major one, certainly. friction between major and multiple minors. protag is anti-theist; goes over poorly. This world has real gods -- how does he handle?
There was a little more, but this makes the point. I didn't have any specifics, but I had a bunch of potential plot hooks and conflicts. Jake, the protagonist, was less powerful and less politically savvy than everyone around him, so he was going to lose any direct confrontation. I knew there were going to be religious disagreements and that Jake was going to have to bite his tongue around the priests, and that meeting gods and adapting to their reality would be part of his character arc. I knew that there would be backroom dealings and skulduggery where Jake tried to enact political change and the council tried to render him a puppet, and I knew that I could have some great blood and thunder battle scenes.
In practice, very little of that worked out. First of all,
Loki
decided to make a peace treaty.
I'm afraid that I don't have time to beta for you; to be honest, I don't know that you need one. Most non-professional betas are going to mostly do copyediting (which you have a handle on already) and Wise Reading, which your audience will do for you. Based on what's been posted in this thread you know both the strengths and weaknesses of the story; take that and run with it.