chrisleech
The Finder of Things Left Behind
- Location
- Jacksonville, Florida
This is why it's a bad idea to forcefully enslave people to do important tasks for you.
Titan of Steel (Dungeoncore)
- Thread starter We Just Write
- Start date
- Original Novel Fantasy
- Location
- Australia
Well, this is what happens when you rely on expert advice that you coerced people into giving you.
Anyway, some ideas I might have for your gremlins:
Engine version of your nuclear reactors, with sufficient conjuration of hydrogen for reaction mass (and the atmosphere as afterburners), you could get a torch drive!
Nuclear missiles with nuclear engines. Enough said. Might work better as a clockwork minion to control the nuclear engine and when to fire the basic gun-type uranium fission. Since the magical nuclear reactors are perpetual motion, you can build a simple missile and it'll instantly be interplanetary rated.
Some form of radiation weapon that isn't a nuclear flamethrower so you can shoot things a bit further away. Lasers are probably not good for this. I'm thinking some form of nuclear artillery; a big pusher plate that's also a sabot, the propulsion charge is a small nuclear charge + reaction mass, the shell itself carries a warhead that can be anything from a nuclear warhead to ClF3 conjuring runes to some magical attack (localized anti-life field?)
Reverse engineering the anti-life field, in smaller form around your Titan, it will serve as a good first line of magical defence. Especially since all of your other attacks are not magical nature and might be prone to being trumped by something unexpected.
Improved sensors. Now that the dungeon has an obscenely powerful attack, the problem comes in trying to find targets. Sensors aren't just radar of course, it could be anything from seismic ground sensors, remotely deployed clockwork camera drones, magical detectors of all stripes.
Remote construction. If you want to remain in a mobile Titan form but still reap the benefits of having a static dungeon structure that can do things, you might have to build that. For example, a huge underground complex that contains a massive number of nuclear reactors to generate mana would be useful during downtime, when you can just sit the Titan next to it and connect mana transfer cables or something.
Anyway, some ideas I might have for your gremlins:
Engine version of your nuclear reactors, with sufficient conjuration of hydrogen for reaction mass (and the atmosphere as afterburners), you could get a torch drive!
This is useful for everything from a better jumpjet for your Titan, long duration drones, intercontinential missiles, satellites and eventual space travel.
Nuclear missiles with nuclear engines. Enough said. Might work better as a clockwork minion to control the nuclear engine and when to fire the basic gun-type uranium fission. Since the magical nuclear reactors are perpetual motion, you can build a simple missile and it'll instantly be interplanetary rated.
How to find (acceptable) targets and guidance might need some research however.
Some form of radiation weapon that isn't a nuclear flamethrower so you can shoot things a bit further away. Lasers are probably not good for this. I'm thinking some form of nuclear artillery; a big pusher plate that's also a sabot, the propulsion charge is a small nuclear charge + reaction mass, the shell itself carries a warhead that can be anything from a nuclear warhead to ClF3 conjuring runes to some magical attack (localized anti-life field?)
The shells themselves would be inherently cheaper than the missile form for the same warhead since they don't have engines.
Reverse engineering the anti-life field, in smaller form around your Titan, it will serve as a good first line of magical defence. Especially since all of your other attacks are not magical nature and might be prone to being trumped by something unexpected.
It's not like anything would survive for long near your Titan anyway, so a not-country-sized anti-life field wouldn't hurt anything important really. Bonus points if you can make the field hollow so your gremlins don't have to be reconjured every time you turn it on.
Improved sensors. Now that the dungeon has an obscenely powerful attack, the problem comes in trying to find targets. Sensors aren't just radar of course, it could be anything from seismic ground sensors, remotely deployed clockwork camera drones, magical detectors of all stripes.
Remote construction. If you want to remain in a mobile Titan form but still reap the benefits of having a static dungeon structure that can do things, you might have to build that. For example, a huge underground complex that contains a massive number of nuclear reactors to generate mana would be useful during downtime, when you can just sit the Titan next to it and connect mana transfer cables or something.
Other things like building lesser Titans, airships, and other useful constructions come to mind. Building a clockwork factory that can churn out minions without needing to spend the Titan's magical budget would be useful and let you go further than what reactors can be stuffed into the Titan's volume.
Eg. if 1 reactor can build 1 clockwork minion an hour, building a 100 reactor factory plus automated clockwork construction mechanism would output 100 minions an hour or a 2400 minion army every single day, automatically and forever into the future. You might want to staff it with gremlin engineers to keep it running.
A factory-making factory (plus attendant clockwork constructors to move the parts to open space and set them up) would of course be the end goal. =D
Umi-san
Procrastinating.
- Location
- ꙮ
Goblins can survive outside for an hour or so, so helicopters/piloted rocket ships would be worthwhile.
I think lasers are actually not that bad of an idea - they can be good at piercing things if pulsed correctly, are fairly long distance, and probably more mana-cheap for point of (less bursty) damage. Plus, variety is its own weapon.
Agreed that if we can leave the planet it's probably worth it. Even if we can't leave the planet, satellites to get a fuller understanding of the situation around us are worth it.
I think lasers are actually not that bad of an idea - they can be good at piercing things if pulsed correctly, are fairly long distance, and probably more mana-cheap for point of (less bursty) damage. Plus, variety is its own weapon.
Agreed that if we can leave the planet it's probably worth it. Even if we can't leave the planet, satellites to get a fuller understanding of the situation around us are worth it.
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Gremlins, not Goblins.
Huh, I have to wonder just how viable going full Sup Com would be for the Titan.
Incidentally, something that the titan should probably take into account: Magic means you don't have to stick to strictly stick to things that are physically possible. This means you can do some pretty crazy shit like homing lasers or missiles that give no fucks for enemies dodging them.
Incidentally, something that the titan should probably take into account: Magic means you don't have to stick to strictly stick to things that are physically possible. This means you can do some pretty crazy shit like homing lasers or missiles that give no fucks for enemies dodging them.
It occurs to me that, since you can appearently use mana to brute force desireable physical properties, you could probably put together a practical reactor-pumped gamma ray or X-ray laser. Having to deal with an atmousphere limits the potential a bit, but even so it would be pretty cool.
Beyond that, you could probably use mana to optimize a more conventional laser beyond what more conventional materials would allow, or, since you have that pesky atmousphere to deal with, build the kind of micro-nuke autocannon every CoaDE player experiments with and finds to be fairly wimpy in space. My personal design can be brought down to 12 tons or so in a minimal form and fires .1kt shells at around 2km/s, though I freely admit the "short, fat barrel and paper thin sabot" approach is a bit of an exploit. Instead of just producing a nice strobe light effect and burning off radiators and wipple shields, I suspect that would pretty thoroughly pulp whatever you happen to point it at.
Edited: the rate of fire I thought I remembered sounded too high, so I am leaving it off.
Beyond that, you could probably use mana to optimize a more conventional laser beyond what more conventional materials would allow, or, since you have that pesky atmousphere to deal with, build the kind of micro-nuke autocannon every CoaDE player experiments with and finds to be fairly wimpy in space. My personal design can be brought down to 12 tons or so in a minimal form and fires .1kt shells at around 2km/s, though I freely admit the "short, fat barrel and paper thin sabot" approach is a bit of an exploit. Instead of just producing a nice strobe light effect and burning off radiators and wipple shields, I suspect that would pretty thoroughly pulp whatever you happen to point it at.
Edited: the rate of fire I thought I remembered sounded too high, so I am leaving it off.
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HolyInquisition
Opinionated
- Location
- Halfway to Anywhere
Let's not bring CoaDE into this, or our Titan will soon become a fleet of mostly-radiator laser drones.
13
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
After the Titan of Bone's destruction at the hands of my mechanical minions, the next thing on my agenda was to make my final preparations to deal with the brutal dictator oppressing the country I had appeared in once and for all. That said, I was distinctly worried about that dragon showing up again, and I wanted to take some extra precautions to ensure my own safety if things did not go as planned. With the need to reach a point of relative safety in mind, I quickly updated the plans for the Protonium rockets I used for thrust, ensured I had full three-dimensional RCS and enough linear acceleration to beat the local gravity, and boosted myself into orbit.
The way I said that made it sound a lot more straightforward than it actually was, all things considered. First off, I had done basically none of the math regarding required orbital velocity, and my only previous experience with flying a Titan ended in a crash that damn near killed me. Still, I knew on a gut level from countless hours spent playing Kerbal Space Program what was required to reach space, and I had every intention of following through, especially since I had effectively infinite delta v. It took a few hours of constantly adjusting my orbit, but I soon managed to reach a stable almost circular orbit about 1,200 kilometers above the planet's surface, according to the radar altimeter I had my Gremlins working on while I tweaked my trajectory. By my estimates, I was smack dab in the middle of a radiation belt, but I didn't give a shit since both my core and my Gremlins were properly shielded.
Once I was in orbit, I immediately began assembling a massive space station connected to my current Titan chassis, featuring rotating habitat cylinders kilometers across that could support tens of millions of Gremlins, more reactors than I could ever possibly need, and a winding deathtrap of a microgravity murder-maze surrounding my newly relocated core a cubic kilometer in volume, my instincts to maximize the amount of lethal traps between myself and death coming to the forefront.
Then, came the problem of adjusting my Titan chassis such that I could deploy it groundside separately from my space station body. Without my Dungeon interior providing internal support to the Titan's chassis, I needed to make several adjustments to convert it into a single massive Clockwork construct, able to significantly exceed previous performance benchmarks by replacing what had been effectively non-performing volume with major upgrades to the Titan's motor system, power plant, and onboard fabrication. That last one was especially critical, since I wanted that machine to be capable of self-repairing in the field, and I wouldn't be able to directly repair it using my Dungeon interface.
I still had my original surveillance UAV informing me of the location of Regno's capitol, the home of the murderous dictator who had caused his people so much torment. With target co-ordinates locked, I quickly deployed a constellation of thousands of spy satellites in order to gather any further information on the possible location of the dragon who had been the cause of my previous crash. I quickly discovered the colossal dragon on a return trajectory towards the city I was currently surveying.
Having decided my course of action, I quickly un-docked the Titan from my space station body, and sent it on a return trajectory, set to land directly in front of the Dragon's flight path in about twenty minutes. I kind of wished I had an appropriate heavy metal track to play for what was about to come next, seeing as it simply wouldn't be a proper mecha vs dragon fight without a rocking sound track.
Supreme Leader Corenzite was flying back to his capitol after a border skirmish with one of his rival Grand Dragons, wondering when that damned Titan would show up again, when without warning a massive fireball streaked across the sky directly overhead. Slowly, the incoming object slowed, and the flames mostly petered off to reveal an utterly massive metallic figure, standing in the air atop two pillars of flame jetting out of their feet.
The Grand Dragon almost immediately recognized this abominable construct as the Titan it had been unable to crush two weeks prior, but as he feared it had already made significant alterations to its design, as Titans were infamous for doing. The Titan was distinctly wider now, with a large yellow symbol of some sort emblazoned on its chest, and it was equipped with what could only be even more implements of murder. It had even apparently managed to get the hang of flying.
Corenzite did not waste any time beginning the fight, opening up with a blast of dragonfire even as he charged closer to the Titan, with the primary goal being to engage in melee combat. The Titan meanwhile simply allowed the shot to harmlessly spray over its chest armor, even as it fired three small projectiles from its shoulder directly towards Corenzite.
The Dragon disregarded such puny shots, being incredibly dubious that they would present a threat to one such as them. They were immediately corrected, as the projectiles erupted with blasts of dragonfire, scorching Corenzite's hide with tremendous explosive force. The barrage did not let up then, the Titan drawing its swords and firing twin streaks of artificial dragonfire directly at Corenzite.
The Grand Dragon was infuriated by this development; in the annals of history, ever since the Grand Dragons rose to ascendancy, never before had any being besides a Grand Dragon laid claim to dragonfire. With one final charge, Corenzite closed the distance to melee combat with the Titan, clawing and biting at the massive construct even as they felt one of those massive knives punch right through their left wing.
Then the Titan grabbed hard, and with a mighty heave the grappling pair of Titan and Dragon tipped end over end and began hurtling towards the ground. Spiraling through the air, Corenzite grabbed hard onto their opponent, and with a cleverly stuck out wing, they managed to put themselves on top of the pile just in time for the two of them to slam into the ground.
Supreme Leader Corenzite wasted no time, blasting a continuous stream of dragonfire onto the joint between the Titan's chest and hips even as the Titan tightened its grip further, clearly attempting to crush the life out of the wounded dragon. With what little freedom of movement he still possessed, Corenzite managed to get one of their forelimbs free, and they slammed their wickedly sharp talons directly into the joint for the Titan's right shoulder.
At this time, both parties received several severe injuries simultaneously; in the case of the Titan, the focused stream of Dragonfire finished burning through its spine, immobilizing the construct from the waist down even as its right arm was rendered useless. Corenzite, meanwhile, felt a massive crunch as part of their lower ribcage caved in.
Still, the Dragon's back was strong, and with one of the Titan's arms useless Corenzite was able to struggle out of the grapple. The Dragon flipped the Titan over on its front, and prepared to deliver the final blow, when suddenly the massive construct exploded in the biggest blast of dragonfire Corenzite had ever been exposed to.
When the dust cleared, the Supreme Leader was heavily injured, with a hide sufficiently charred that their skeleton showed in a few places, a partially collapsed ribcage, his dominant claw and left wing nearly severed, but still the Grand Dragon lived. With a mighty heave, Corenzite roared their defiance to the heavens, as if to say that they would never be conquered by something so mere as a Titan.
Hundreds of miles above, a certain Dungeon core was extremely glad it had thought to handle this fight by remote control, and was already taking notes on what would be required to finish the job.
The way I said that made it sound a lot more straightforward than it actually was, all things considered. First off, I had done basically none of the math regarding required orbital velocity, and my only previous experience with flying a Titan ended in a crash that damn near killed me. Still, I knew on a gut level from countless hours spent playing Kerbal Space Program what was required to reach space, and I had every intention of following through, especially since I had effectively infinite delta v. It took a few hours of constantly adjusting my orbit, but I soon managed to reach a stable almost circular orbit about 1,200 kilometers above the planet's surface, according to the radar altimeter I had my Gremlins working on while I tweaked my trajectory. By my estimates, I was smack dab in the middle of a radiation belt, but I didn't give a shit since both my core and my Gremlins were properly shielded.
Once I was in orbit, I immediately began assembling a massive space station connected to my current Titan chassis, featuring rotating habitat cylinders kilometers across that could support tens of millions of Gremlins, more reactors than I could ever possibly need, and a winding deathtrap of a microgravity murder-maze surrounding my newly relocated core a cubic kilometer in volume, my instincts to maximize the amount of lethal traps between myself and death coming to the forefront.
Then, came the problem of adjusting my Titan chassis such that I could deploy it groundside separately from my space station body. Without my Dungeon interior providing internal support to the Titan's chassis, I needed to make several adjustments to convert it into a single massive Clockwork construct, able to significantly exceed previous performance benchmarks by replacing what had been effectively non-performing volume with major upgrades to the Titan's motor system, power plant, and onboard fabrication. That last one was especially critical, since I wanted that machine to be capable of self-repairing in the field, and I wouldn't be able to directly repair it using my Dungeon interface.
I still had my original surveillance UAV informing me of the location of Regno's capitol, the home of the murderous dictator who had caused his people so much torment. With target co-ordinates locked, I quickly deployed a constellation of thousands of spy satellites in order to gather any further information on the possible location of the dragon who had been the cause of my previous crash. I quickly discovered the colossal dragon on a return trajectory towards the city I was currently surveying.
Having decided my course of action, I quickly un-docked the Titan from my space station body, and sent it on a return trajectory, set to land directly in front of the Dragon's flight path in about twenty minutes. I kind of wished I had an appropriate heavy metal track to play for what was about to come next, seeing as it simply wouldn't be a proper mecha vs dragon fight without a rocking sound track.
Supreme Leader Corenzite was flying back to his capitol after a border skirmish with one of his rival Grand Dragons, wondering when that damned Titan would show up again, when without warning a massive fireball streaked across the sky directly overhead. Slowly, the incoming object slowed, and the flames mostly petered off to reveal an utterly massive metallic figure, standing in the air atop two pillars of flame jetting out of their feet.
The Grand Dragon almost immediately recognized this abominable construct as the Titan it had been unable to crush two weeks prior, but as he feared it had already made significant alterations to its design, as Titans were infamous for doing. The Titan was distinctly wider now, with a large yellow symbol of some sort emblazoned on its chest, and it was equipped with what could only be even more implements of murder. It had even apparently managed to get the hang of flying.
Corenzite did not waste any time beginning the fight, opening up with a blast of dragonfire even as he charged closer to the Titan, with the primary goal being to engage in melee combat. The Titan meanwhile simply allowed the shot to harmlessly spray over its chest armor, even as it fired three small projectiles from its shoulder directly towards Corenzite.
The Dragon disregarded such puny shots, being incredibly dubious that they would present a threat to one such as them. They were immediately corrected, as the projectiles erupted with blasts of dragonfire, scorching Corenzite's hide with tremendous explosive force. The barrage did not let up then, the Titan drawing its swords and firing twin streaks of artificial dragonfire directly at Corenzite.
The Grand Dragon was infuriated by this development; in the annals of history, ever since the Grand Dragons rose to ascendancy, never before had any being besides a Grand Dragon laid claim to dragonfire. With one final charge, Corenzite closed the distance to melee combat with the Titan, clawing and biting at the massive construct even as they felt one of those massive knives punch right through their left wing.
Then the Titan grabbed hard, and with a mighty heave the grappling pair of Titan and Dragon tipped end over end and began hurtling towards the ground. Spiraling through the air, Corenzite grabbed hard onto their opponent, and with a cleverly stuck out wing, they managed to put themselves on top of the pile just in time for the two of them to slam into the ground.
Supreme Leader Corenzite wasted no time, blasting a continuous stream of dragonfire onto the joint between the Titan's chest and hips even as the Titan tightened its grip further, clearly attempting to crush the life out of the wounded dragon. With what little freedom of movement he still possessed, Corenzite managed to get one of their forelimbs free, and they slammed their wickedly sharp talons directly into the joint for the Titan's right shoulder.
At this time, both parties received several severe injuries simultaneously; in the case of the Titan, the focused stream of Dragonfire finished burning through its spine, immobilizing the construct from the waist down even as its right arm was rendered useless. Corenzite, meanwhile, felt a massive crunch as part of their lower ribcage caved in.
Still, the Dragon's back was strong, and with one of the Titan's arms useless Corenzite was able to struggle out of the grapple. The Dragon flipped the Titan over on its front, and prepared to deliver the final blow, when suddenly the massive construct exploded in the biggest blast of dragonfire Corenzite had ever been exposed to.
When the dust cleared, the Supreme Leader was heavily injured, with a hide sufficiently charred that their skeleton showed in a few places, a partially collapsed ribcage, his dominant claw and left wing nearly severed, but still the Grand Dragon lived. With a mighty heave, Corenzite roared their defiance to the heavens, as if to say that they would never be conquered by something so mere as a Titan.
Hundreds of miles above, a certain Dungeon core was extremely glad it had thought to handle this fight by remote control, and was already taking notes on what would be required to finish the job.
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Anyway, next up will be a bit of a lore post.
jwolfe_beta
Semi Genre-Savvy Overlord
- Location
- Canada
So how fast can the SI make a new titan?
Because I got the image of Corenzite slowly clawing his way home only for a brand new titan to slam into the dirt right in front of him.
"Round two: Fight!"
Damn. I know I was literally just suggesting nuclear autocannons and grasers, but even so that's quite some power creap. All you need are practical (as in "not giant robot") orbit to surface weapons and there may not be much that can touch you. It makes me worry that you will have difficulty creating real challenges after a few more updates without going multi-cross like the average PA SI.
One other comment: you seem to randomly alternate between "they" and "he" pronouns for your dragon. Not sure that's intentional.
One other comment: you seem to randomly alternate between "they" and "he" pronouns for your dragon. Not sure that's intentional.
BungieONI
Seven gremlins in a trench coat
- Location
- Lickwidget
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Oooo ooo!try a octopus robot next lol iv seen enough hentai to see where that would go
Dragon robo!
Just to rub it in!
KickInator
Verified Doomsday Device, SuperVella
- Location
- India
Hold on. So dragons breath NUCLEAR fire in this fic?
- Location
- Utah
yes, it was stated several chapters ago.Hold on. So dragons breath NUCLEAR fire in this fic?
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I really enjoy dungeon core fiction, and I was intrigued by the idea of one with an atomic clock punk theme. Unfortunately, this isn't living up to its potential. You've got a few issues:
1) The viewpoint character is not a character. He has no name, no backstory, no emotional reactions to anything, and no particular motivation or designs. The audience can't predict what he'll do next because there's no personality to predict.
2) You don't have a protagonist. The protagonist, main character, and hero are usually but not necessarily the same person. The protagonist is the one who grows and changes, who has a character arc. The main character is the one who the camera focuses on. The hero is the one who drives the action. In Star Wars, Darth Vader is the protagonist but Luke is the hero and the main character.
3) You don't have any tension. The MC has been stomping over everything that has remotely looked like it might have been a challenge. Invaders in the dungeon? Nuclear radiation and clockworks. Scouting? Build a UAV in a couple paragraphs. Titan of Bone that has reshaped the landscape for decades or centuries? Kill it, casually. The dragon was exciting because it was actually a threat, but you skipped away from that immediately.
4) There's no impetus or destination for the story, mostly because the MC doesn't have any real desires beyond "get mobile".
5) The decisions people are making seem bizarre. Why is Steel making a point of killing Bone? Having a mega-death field around is barely an inconvenience for Steel (he can't summon gremlins, that's all), and it gives him a secure area to base out of while he gets up to speed. Bone is okay with dying but wants to be killed from the inside? And Steel goes along with this? Why?
A couple things I'd recommend:
1) Sit down and figure out who your MC is and what he wants. He's probably an SI (right?) so this should be easy -- tell us more about him as a person.
2) Get some challenge in there, stat. You've removed all possibility of that by going into orbit, at least as far as your established setting. Make something up immmediately -- maybe the dragons have railguns, or there's giant space sharks or something.
3) Read up on Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" structure, the W plot structure, and the snowflake method of story planning. Also check out the Writing Excuses podcast; it's got a lot of useful tips.
As an example, one Writing Excuses trick that works well for character design is the CPS system. When you're planning a character you give them a 1-5 rating in each of three stats:
Competence. How good are they at stuff?
Proactiveness: How often do they do stuff on their own?
Sympatheticness: How much does the audience like them?
A 555 character is a Mary Sue and should be avoided.
A 111 character is an annoying waste of words -- terrible at everything, doesn't drive the plot, unlikable. Again, avoid.
In Fellowship, Frodo Baggins was a 125 -- not good at much, didn't do much to affect the plot except the one time (when he split from the Fellowship) but sympathetic as hell.
Luke Skywalker starts off as (arguably) a 333 -- he can fly a ship, shoot a quad mount and a blaster, and use a lightsabre a little, so he's pretty competent. He drives the plot a fair amount -- he chooses to go to Alderaan, he talks Han into rescuing Leia, etc. He's reasonably sympathetic, although a little whiny. (Again, this is all arguable. You could make a case for a lot of different scores.)
My suggestion would be to create some persistent characters for the story aside from Steel and give everyone a CPS rating -- in your notes, this isn't an in-universe thing -- so that you have something to hang their characterization off of.
1) The viewpoint character is not a character. He has no name, no backstory, no emotional reactions to anything, and no particular motivation or designs. The audience can't predict what he'll do next because there's no personality to predict.
2) You don't have a protagonist. The protagonist, main character, and hero are usually but not necessarily the same person. The protagonist is the one who grows and changes, who has a character arc. The main character is the one who the camera focuses on. The hero is the one who drives the action. In Star Wars, Darth Vader is the protagonist but Luke is the hero and the main character.
3) You don't have any tension. The MC has been stomping over everything that has remotely looked like it might have been a challenge. Invaders in the dungeon? Nuclear radiation and clockworks. Scouting? Build a UAV in a couple paragraphs. Titan of Bone that has reshaped the landscape for decades or centuries? Kill it, casually. The dragon was exciting because it was actually a threat, but you skipped away from that immediately.
4) There's no impetus or destination for the story, mostly because the MC doesn't have any real desires beyond "get mobile".
5) The decisions people are making seem bizarre. Why is Steel making a point of killing Bone? Having a mega-death field around is barely an inconvenience for Steel (he can't summon gremlins, that's all), and it gives him a secure area to base out of while he gets up to speed. Bone is okay with dying but wants to be killed from the inside? And Steel goes along with this? Why?
A couple things I'd recommend:
1) Sit down and figure out who your MC is and what he wants. He's probably an SI (right?) so this should be easy -- tell us more about him as a person.
2) Get some challenge in there, stat. You've removed all possibility of that by going into orbit, at least as far as your established setting. Make something up immmediately -- maybe the dragons have railguns, or there's giant space sharks or something.
3) Read up on Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" structure, the W plot structure, and the snowflake method of story planning. Also check out the Writing Excuses podcast; it's got a lot of useful tips.
As an example, one Writing Excuses trick that works well for character design is the CPS system. When you're planning a character you give them a 1-5 rating in each of three stats:
Competence. How good are they at stuff?
Proactiveness: How often do they do stuff on their own?
Sympatheticness: How much does the audience like them?
A 555 character is a Mary Sue and should be avoided.
A 111 character is an annoying waste of words -- terrible at everything, doesn't drive the plot, unlikable. Again, avoid.
In Fellowship, Frodo Baggins was a 125 -- not good at much, didn't do much to affect the plot except the one time (when he split from the Fellowship) but sympathetic as hell.
Luke Skywalker starts off as (arguably) a 333 -- he can fly a ship, shoot a quad mount and a blaster, and use a lightsabre a little, so he's pretty competent. He drives the plot a fair amount -- he chooses to go to Alderaan, he talks Han into rescuing Leia, etc. He's reasonably sympathetic, although a little whiny. (Again, this is all arguable. You could make a case for a lot of different scores.)
My suggestion would be to create some persistent characters for the story aside from Steel and give everyone a CPS rating -- in your notes, this isn't an in-universe thing -- so that you have something to hang their characterization off of.
Roadie
A plate full of blins and a cat nearby.
I could sort of buy things up to this point, but at this point the plausibility of the gimmick has just fallen apart. If it's so damn easy to scale infinitely and become immune to harm by just running off into space, why haven't any dungeons done it already? (And, no, "they didn't know physics" isn't a good explanation for dungeons that don't have to worry about dying of radiation poisoning from trial-and-error experimentation.)
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