Titan of Steel (Dungeoncore)

The biggest loophole in the whole thing is that A2S4 doesn't change the standards for certain types of changes, like Article 3 changes that neither add nor remove rights. These presumably follow the normal 30%x55% rule. And one of the unprotected areas is the amendment rule in A2S4 itself.

The second biggest loophole is that there's no requirement to make sure everyone's informed of a referendum before it's closed at 30%.
 
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Requiring universal approval to remove rights strikes me as impossible. It should be 90% or so. Because if 90% of voters think a right has to go, you are going to see de facto ignoring of that right anyways.
 
Candidates and Political Parties may not undertake any form of campaigning or advertising for the election prior to 90 days before the last day of voting. Doing so early can get a Candidate or Party disqualified from the next election, subject to review by the Supervisory Court.
I mean you can ban them from putting up election adverts, but campaigning generally starts halfway through the term. I would clarify that otherwise well some political behavior might be interpreted campaigning and end up with your party disqualified. This is incredibly easy to abuse to fuck with your opponents. A young democracy shouldn't have that sort of wide rule.
A referendum can be called by any citizen on any matter at any time. These referenda do not require any sort of official approval, and attempts to stop them by Parliament or any public agency is grounds for the offending members of the government being removed by the Supervisory Court. In order for a referendum to have legal weight behind it, a minimum of 30% of the citizenry must have voted in the referendum in question, and to pass at least 55% of those who voted must be in favor. There is no hard cutoff for when a Referendum must be completed by, but if the public loses interest in a referendum for several months before starting it again, it should be considered a separate referendum.
So um how does that work? No qualification like at least 30000 subscriptions before a general vote? Just someone going around with a ballot box bothering random citizens? The workings here definitely need to be clarified.

The fact the Referendum is reset if public interest wanes only makes this harder. As this works right now I'd be rather surprised if there's going to be any successful referendum ever, short of people being in a revolutionary mood.
Voting for Parliament is performed on a mix of per-district and per-party basis. Half the seats in the Parliament shall be apportioned among the republic on a regional basis, with districts drawn in such a way that they have roughly equal population and in a manner that does not overly favor candidates of any particular party. By default, districts will be drawn by the Census Bureau, and redrawn for each election. The Supervisory Court has authority to review the fairness or lack thereof for Parliamentary districts.
Um is this parallel voting or mixed-member proportional representation? The former has the same problems as any majoritan system, while the latter means the parliament is always representative, though putting more focus on local votes than on party lists.
-Citizens are guaranteed the right to defend themselves or others if they believe they are in grave danger. They cannot be criminally convicted for self-defense or defense of others.
I'm not sure I'd write more than the right to self defense into the constitution. Especially the defense of others might be taken as a card blanche for vigilantarism. This could very well go out of control like the "right to bear arms".
-Citizens are guaranteed freedom to express their personal beliefs, with the caveat that speech or publications intended or highly likely to spread hateful sentiments is classified as verbal assault, not free expression.
And how do you prevent opinion monopolies from forming? I mean everyone is supposed to get access to the means of production, but what about the means of publication/distribution?
 
I mean you can ban them from putting up election adverts, but campaigning generally starts halfway through the term. I would clarify that otherwise well some political behavior might be interpreted campaigning and end up with your party disqualified. This is incredibly easy to abuse to fuck with your opponents. A young democracy shouldn't have that sort of wide rule.
Good point; I'll restrict it solely to premature advertising.
So um how does that work? No qualification like at least 30000 subscriptions before a general vote? Just someone going around with a ballot box bothering random citizens? The workings here definitely need to be clarified.

The fact the Referendum is reset if public interest wanes only makes this harder. As this works right now I'd be rather surprised if there's going to be any successful referendum ever, short of people being in a revolutionary mood.
Good thing that there will be a new draft, and there's also a good thing that there's someone really smart about the way people think going over this with the Titan in-universe.
Um is this parallel voting or mixed-member proportional representation? The former has the same problems as any majoritan system, while the latter means the parliament is always representative, though putting more focus on local votes than on party lists.
It's Mixed Member Proportional, with Single Transferable Vote used for the local constituencies.
I'm not sure I'd write more than the right to self defense into the constitution. Especially the defense of others might be taken as a card blanche for vigilantarism. This could very well go out of control like the "right to bear arms".
True, I suppose.
And how do you prevent opinion monopolies from forming? I mean everyone is supposed to get access to the means of production, but what about the means of publication/distribution?
If someone wants to make a career out of providing accurate news, then the required equipment counts as the means of production to make their own livelihood, meaning it's covered.
 
If someone wants to make a career out of providing accurate news, then the required equipment counts as the means of production to make their own livelihood, meaning it's covered.
I'd put something against deplatforming of lawful opinions in there. If something is so vile it can't be accepted it should be banned. If it isn't, well you shouldn't be able to create bubbles. Some future conflict lines (like maybe gender relations or representation of dungeon minions or maybe Anarchists vs Statists) might end up with one side largely cut out of public discourse (like socialists are today). That's probably something that should be adressed, since social development tends to drive towards homogenity otherwise.
 
I'd put something against deplatforming of lawful opinions in there. If something is so vile it can't be accepted it should be banned. If it isn't, well you shouldn't be able to create bubbles. Some future conflict lines (like maybe gender relations or representation of dungeon minions or maybe Anarchists vs Statists) might end up with one side largely cut out of public discourse (like socialists are today). That's probably something that should be adressed, since social development tends to drive towards homogenity otherwise.
The issue with Dungeon Minions, is sadly that they are by default incapable of holding opinions that their Dungeon finds distasteful, or even really to question their 'lord's intentions. Unless they're able to prove that they do have free will by disobeying a direct order, beings who come into existence subordinated like that really can't be considered as anything aside from an extension of their master for voting purposes unless you want a feudal system run by whoever has the most minions. And let's face it, most Dungeons outright need minions if they want to live a fulfilling life, and it's very hard to stop them from just making more.

Regarding deplatforming of lawful opinions, I think that's covered under the guarantee of freedom to express non-hateful beliefs and the guarantee to means of production/publication.

Still, constitutions are hard, and ironing out every single bug is probably impossible.
 
That specific hate speech provision gives a crazy amount of power to hateful people.

Suppose Old Man Adams goes out to the town square and shouts this:
Adams said:
I hate squash-jugglers! If I find out anyone has juggled squashes, I will chase them down and whack them with my cane.

It's not incitement because he didn't tell or suggest that anyone else hate squash-jugglers. And it's unlikely to spread his peculiar brand of hate. So it's perfectly legal. More than that, it's constitutionally protected.

Now suppose a visitor comes into town and asks "I'm looking for some experienced squash-jugglers. Do you know of any?"

Don't answer that, it'll incite Old Man Adams to hate them.
 
constitutions are hard, and ironing out every single bug is probably impossible.

You might want to start with existing country's constitution and edit it to suit your purposes. That way the majority of it has already been exposed to several hundred years of people looking for loopholes. As a result, the only parts you have to check for loopholes are the parts that you edit.
 
You might want to start with existing country's constitution and edit it to suit your purposes. That way the majority of it has already been exposed to several hundred years of people looking for loopholes. As a result, the only parts you have to check for loopholes are the parts that you edit.
Thing is, IC I don't really have access to any IRL constitutions.
 
Honestly I think it's a nice idea for a first draft. And I'd just use the concerns voiced here in story for discussion about alterations.

Actually writing a constitution is overkill.
 
This story is wonderful. I had been worried at how fast you were progressing in the earlier chapters, but with the threats this world has...it makes sense.

Watched.
 
So why aren't you just building a spaceship? It's a fantasy world, so no worries about adventurers in space. Build your Dungeon on the moon, maybe, but the spaceship is better for mobility. Still, I guess a Grandam would more fit into the theme.
If there are no wizards and a wizard civilasation, possibly dead, on the moon than I'm eating my shoe. Metaphorically.
Tho turning the moon into your dungeon is always a good idea.
Yet again. I can see wizards transmatting an anchor stone onto the surface of the moon via a ritual. And than using the anchor to cheapen it.
 
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If there are no wizards and a wizard civilasation, possibly dead, on the moon than I'm eating my shoe. Metaphorically.
Tho turning the moon into your dungeon is always a good idea.
Yet again. I can see wizards transmatting an anchor stone onto the surface of the moon via a ritual. And than using the anchor to cheapen it.
There's not a wizard civilization on the moon.

Our attempts to build a space station dungeon resulted in there being a Gremlin civilization on the moon. I'm just waiting for the moment we all look up, and see that the moon has been converted into a magitech Death Star.

"That's no moon- but it was, once. Now it is our greatest and most terrible weapon."
 
Meep. I'll have caught up in no time! It's pretty fun to read.
 
A lot of the readers seem to treat this story like a Quest for some reason. I've tried to discourage it in the past without much luck, so I just tend to ignore it in hopes that they'll stop.

It's just habit to refer to the character as us, you, him. They're interchangeable, they all mean exactly the same in this context. It just depends of how people are use to talking about a character. Considering this is a forum and we follow the adventure chapter by chapter, it's easy to start thinking that we all are part of the adventure... the site having quests that are even more immersive helps too.

Identifying with the character is a good thing, yeah?
Than again. It's improper. corrupted, use of grammar.
 
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The first elections in the country I founded were rather turbulent, but the fact that they worked at all was quite encouraging. After some major bug-fixes, I had announced the new constitution three months before the winter solstice, and I had published copies on both physical media and the internet analog my Gremlins were building for anyone to easily access.

Personally, I did in fact run for office, but not for parliament. Instead, I ran for head of the Department of Public Infrastructure; that way I could focus on building up the country like I had wanted to do in the first place, without having to handle every single little thing that came my way. To my surprise, I actually had a challenger appear in the form of a Dungeon from the country's periphery, who was thus spared from the Drake Guard's localized genocide.

I'll be honest, some of the Deep Machine's ideas for the country's infrastructure were really good, especially after they updated their power sources to include nuclear reactors in addition to geothermal. I still won, thanks to the ludicrous amount of goodwill I had among most people for my role in getting rid of the Grand Dragons, but I gladly took up official correspondence with them.

Parliament meanwhile got split between three major parties and a couple of minor ones. Starting with the most powerful party, the Amali Liberation Party, which was generally focused on improving domestic conditions and keeping the Grand Dragons out. The ALP held 38 seats in Parliament. Interestingly, three of the ALP's elected members of parliament were Dungeons, which prompted a bit of spirited debate over how they would attend Parliament; ultimately, it was decided that they would attend via telepresence, since that was just the easiest solution.

Next most powerful was the Interventionist party, who were advocating military build-up followed by deposing every single Grand Dragon they could find, in order to free the entire world from their tyranny once and for all. They held 35 seats, and were eager to caucus with the ALP; both parties had similar goals, simply differing in where they thought the focus of policy should first be placed.

The last major party were the Union of Adventurers and Mages, commonly referred to as the Adventurer's League. Their policy position was relatively traditionalist, but fairly compatible with the ALP and Interventionists. Mostly, they just wanted policies conducive to lots of powerful adventurers cropping up, including easy access to Dungeon-run obstacle courses, weaponry, and training for anyone who wished it, just like adventurers had access to in the more lax Draconic Realms prior to my removal of the Grand Dragons. The Adventurer's League held 31 seats after the first election.

And then there were the minor parties. The first officially went by the Church of the Steel Titan, largely being composed of those particularly impressionable sorts who mistook the incredible firepower of my battleship chassis as a sign of divine favor, worshiping me as a deity. Though I was rather annoyed by this fact, these people were fairly harmless, with most regarding them as a somewhat sillier wing of either the ALP or the Interventionists, given their policy propositions. Thus, the Church got their 13 seats in Parliament, mostly being elected on a per district basis.

The last party officially went by the Advocates For Traditional Rule, but basically everyone referred to them as the Dragonist Party. Though they easily made the Supervisory Court's first case rather contentious with their barely-not-unconstitutional rhetoric and policy propositions, it was eventually determined that they had no concrete proof of being connected to the now illegal Drake Guard. They weren't able to prove that the Dragonists weren't connected to said organization, however. Still, they won exactly zero district seats, and only barely broke the threshold for by-party voting, leaving them with a mere three seats in Parliament. Though I was quite unhappy the Dragonists got any seats at all, I wasn't about to rip up my own freaking constitution about these people.

Speaking of the Supervisory Court, it was voted to have eleven seats for Justices in a snap referendum since I forgot to specify that in the Constitution. Ultimately, the Court wound up with four ALP Justices, three Interventionists, three Justices from the Adventurer's League, and one from the Church of the Steel Titan.

Aside from the election, things were fairly peaceful over the last few months, as more of a functioning country got built, various Dwarf diplomats showed up to discuss matters, and a couple conquest-seeking Grand Dragons died to the Republic's perimeter defenses.

Still, after taking my oath of office, I got ready to move out of Regno Prima to a new structure a dozen miles or so north of my present location. With the gentle sliding of well-made machinery, I slotted my core into a civilian aircraft chassis, released the bonds of service for most of the Gremlins and Clockworks who had been keeping the transitional government running for the last six months, and set off for my brief flight to my new office location.

Seldom did Grand Dragon Samathin have occasion to use an avatar spell, as most of the official structures she visited within her Draconic Empire were built to the scale of a Grand Dragon such as herself. The royal laboratories on the other hand, did not fall in such a category. Thus, Samathin cast a spell derived from a Dungeon's minion production abilities, spawning a miniature version of herself to act through as she went to see the progress her loyal researchers had made on the project.

After several security checks, Samathin's avatar reached the lab where the artifact codenamed Frozen Bacon was being studied. In actual fact, said artifact was never frozen, nor did it have anything to do with Bacon. Instead, it was a clockwork retrieved from an orbital dungeon shortly before its destruction, one which had a very interesting functionality that Samathin wanted to copy.

The lead researcher greeted Samathin's avatar with an enthusiastic salute to her chest and a vocalization of "Greetings Empress Samathin! We've made a recent breakthrough with regards to this Clockwork, and we've copied the rune structures that allow it to produce synthetic Dragonfire."

Samathin grinned, before noting "It's very good that you've managed to replicate the results, but do you understand the underlying principles well enough to alter the design as needed?"

The red-headed lead researcher preened slightly as she reported "Absolutely! We've even figured out what Dragonfire actually is, something that's eluded our inquiries until now."

Samathin nodded, noting "That is something I wish to be informed of later, but not at the exact moment. Right now, I want you to bring your findings to the head of Clockwork Design and inform him that we will be having a Code Gold meeting in fifteen minutes. The Scaled Regents cannot be allowed to learn of this."

As the lead researcher scurried off, Samathin once again found themselves musing at just how much additional power over them someone would give a ruler who at least offered an appearance of caring for their wellbeing. Other thoughts included the fact that Samathin could very well soon have a valid replacement for the eight most treacherous but sadly necessary elements of her rule. After all, synthetic Dragonfire had already proven itself a wonderful power source for that Titan beyond the sky, so why couldn't it be used to power an army of Clockwork Dragons?

Still, this project had to progress in absolute secrecy; if the Scaled Regents learned they would soon be obsolete, the Empress would be forced to activate the kill switch for all of them. She knew she couldn't keep her current territory secure from upstarts without other assets able to fight on an even footing with a Grand Dragon, and losing territory would allow all the treasures her people had built to fall into the greedy talons of other Grand Dragons, which simply wouldn't be acceptable.
 
This Empress sounds like a rather brutal enlightened despot; not too terrible to live under, but still no fun to have as a ruler or neighbor. I wonder what she'll think of Steel Titan's new nation?

...probably nothing good.
 
This Empress sounds like a rather brutal enlightened despot; not too terrible to live under, but still no fun to have as a ruler or neighbor. I wonder what she'll think of Steel Titan's new nation?

...probably nothing good.
Honestly, once Samathin figures out Protonium Bombs, I could see things winding up an awful lot like the Cold War - neither side wants to risk kicking off a fight that would justify the other breaking out their nukes Protonium warheads, and neither side likes the other enough to potentially directly defuse the situation.
 
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