This Bites! (One Piece SI)

[CV12Hornet]

For those unaware: Satan's kimchi
A warm, fuzzy pile at 433kcal/mole, about half the strength of TNT and reactive enough to burn your skin (or for that matter, nearly everything even remotely oxidizable) at -150 C.

Click to shrink...

And quite a few things that most consider not oxidizable at all.

 

[Xomniac]

Chapter 38​

"Alright, alright, that's good… and do you hear any ringing?"

"No, Chopper, I don't," I sighed in the tone of the long-suffering. "Now, can you please let me catch up on the current situation so that we can get to saving Robin?" I held up my fist with an irritated glare. "Unless you want to check yourself for a concussion instead?"

"Ack!" Chopper flinched back and grinned nervously. "Ahaha… well, you seem to be mostly alright. I-I'll just go ahead and bandage you up, alright?"

"Yeah, you go ahead and do that," I grumbled.

"Still, though, at least try and be careful, alright?" Chopper pleaded with me. "Concussions are no laughing matter!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I waved him off with a tired sigh. "But seriously, if the monsters on our crew can take them without worry, I'm sure I'll get off without any lasting damage."

"Mmm… well, when you put it like that…" the diminutive doctor hummed in a clearly dissatisfied manner. "Still, I'll be keeping you under observation just in case."

I blinked in confusion. "Observing me for what?"

Chopper snapped his hoof up and opened his mouth to say something, before snapping it shut and electing to simply walk away.

Shaking the strange exchange off, I instead focused on getting my memories of the past hour or so in order.

Waking up in the backstreets—that is, directly in the path of Aqua Laguna—would have been a disaster considering how close the tsunami was, were it not for the fact that Soundbite's Gastro-Amp immediately alerted the crew and the Galley-La search party they were with to my location. One very outstretched arm had me reunited with the rest of the crew… though Luffy's typical ham-handedness with his stretching knocked me right back out. When I woke up again—with a massive headache—I was at the dock where Rocketman was hidden, which was where Chopper was running me through his typical concussion protocol.

Fortunately, now that I had him off my back, I could properly process the current situation. A few faces were missing, but I was a bit too distracted at the moment to properly take stock of who. Instead, I mentally reviewed the conversation I'd had with Zoro and Nami after waking up.

After the conversation they overheard—something about a favorites list that Pinkie and the Brain had registered themselves in when Soundbite and I weren't looking—the rest of the day was quiet. Lucci had vanished by the time Iceburg returned to Galley-La, and though the remaining foremen and the Franky Family had literally torn Blueno's Bar apart from the foundation up looking for clues, they didn't find anything.

Iceburg had tried to help by attempting to halt the day's Puffing Tom on its way to Water 7 and rob the Cipher Pol of its primary escape route, but that hadn't worked out so well. Specifically, CP9 must have compromised the chain of communication, because rather than halting at Blue Station, the Puffing Tom roared right through it at top speed and chugged on to Enies before anyone could stop it.

Undeterred, the crew had converged on Iceburg's manor to protect both him and Franky—much to the cyborg's protests—from any possible attempts on their life, while the Galley-La Foremen stood guard at the Blue Station. With the Monster Trio standing guard over Tom's apprentices, it was presumed that the agents wouldn't dare to try anything.

What nobody had accounted for was the possibility that they would straight up attack the island itself.

And by that, I mean that after over 24 hours of complete silence from CP9, the assassin cell demonstrated that they were most definitely employees of the World Government by detonating dozens, if not hundreds of explosions all across the city mere hours before Aqua Laguna was due.

The first ones went off in the powder storage spaces for Galley-La and the coal storage at Blue Station—in order to snag the most attention, of course—and quickly spread out from there, forcing the crew to thin the defenses around the former apprentices.

I honestly think there's a very real chance that Tom could be deemed Water 7's patron saint sometime in the near future because it was nothing short of an actual, legitimate miracle that the casualty total from the attack was a scant hundred or so wounded and even less deceased, rather than the canals straight-up running red with blood. Thankfully, it appeared that CP9 had been aiming to disrupt the infrastructure and sow pandemonium, rather than maximum body count.

But sadly, that was as far as the silver lining extended. In the midst of all the mayhem, Franky had managed to slip past his guards in an attempt to enter the fray himself and help out in whatever manner he could. Which, naturally, turned out to be a major mistake, considering how every account I'd heard said he all but vanished into thin air between explosions.

In all fairness, my crewmates hadn't been idle. They'd tried to hunt down the assassins, tried to prevent them from reaching Blue Station and the Government-piloted Sea Train that steamed into the station under everyone's noses… but in the end, between providing relief efforts and the agents being ungodly skilled at stealth, they just didn't stand a chance. Through sheer speed and surprise, the assassins managed to incapacitate or otherwise hamper anyone who managed to catch up to them before boarding the Puffing Tom and departing for Enies Lobby.

Of course, the fact that not everyone was here made it clear that we still had one chance left to get out of storming the Judicial Island, though it wasn't as though any of us weren't planning on going at this point. The only thing actually keeping us grounded for the time being was that the Cipher Pol bastards had somehow gotten wind of Rocketman and managed to detonate a brick of explosives in the runaway engine's boiler. Hence, we were currently stalled for as long as it would take Iceburg to finish repairing the speed demon's innards.

Under any other circumstances I'd probably have been impatient and antsy as all hell, but…

I winced and rubbed the back of my skull as I experienced what felt like a railroad spike being shoved into my cranium.

…yeah, no, I was going to take whatever delays I could get my hands on so long as it meant more time to get my head on straight. Still, even if I wasn't currently mobile, that certainly didn't mean I couldn't at least try and gather information.

As such, while our doctor wasn't looking, I surreptitiously waved Nami over. "So, ah, don't tell Chopper, but my head's still actually still a little fuzzy and I'm having a hard time keeping my headcount straight, what with everyone moving around. I'm assuming that some of us, such as Sanji, managed to stow away aboard the Puffing Tom, right? Who's with him?"

"Weeeell…"

-o-​

"Ah… ah… AH—MRPH!" Conis froze mid-sneeze, the involuntary reaction halted by a fluffy tail and a finger shoving themselves beneath her nose. She held her stance for a moment before relaxing and allowing herself to pop a thumbs-up, at which point the limbs left and she was able to don a sheepish smile. "Sorry, guys, somebody must be talking about me."

"And why would they not be, sweet Conis?" Sanji crooned softly. "Anyone who knows of you has every reason to want to talk about a most beautiful angel like you."

Su graced the cook with a flat look before spinning her paw in the air, indicating the rain cascading around the open-air balcony of the Puffing Tom's caboose.

Conis chuckled awkwardly as she nodded in agreement with her pet. "Yes, Su's right, I suppose it could also be on account of all this rain."

Sanji flinched out of his love-hurricane-mode with a sheepish chuckle. "Or that, yes…" However, his sheepish demeanor promptly snapped to dead serious. "It's almost time to get going. Conis, I have to ask you again, are you certain that you want to do this? What you're offering to do is extremely dangerous, and I, your most valiant knight, will not be present to protect you."

Conis blinked in surprise before frowning in firm determination. "And I'll tell you the same thing that I told you when you tried to stop me from following you two back at Blue Station," she retorted. "I might be the newest member of the crew and I might not have as much experience in combat as the rest of you, but I am still a member of this crew, Robin is my crewmate, and I will fight to save her no matter what. So, I will be going into this train and I will be serving as a distraction while you two make your way to Robin."

Conis smiled beatifically. "Of course, you can always take my place and fight those Government agents inside the nice and safe innards of the Puffing Tom. In which case I'll just have to take your place and walk across the slick and bucking back of this metal beast myself."

Sanji glanced up at the storm that was rapidly rushing by up above, as well as the water streaming off the slick metal of the train car, looking like he'd bitten into a lemon. "Ah… well, when you put it like that…"

"I'll be fine, Sanji," Conis stated, pointedly slipping one of her pistols out of its harness and holding it up. "I know that I might not look like it, but the point stands that I am a White Beret, well trained in the art of combat, and I've only gotten stronger since I joined you all." She hesitated for a slight moment before steeling her nerves… and leaning forward to peck Sanji on the cheek. "Go save Robin. I've got this."

For a scant moment, the cook was absolutely frozen. Then…

"I'M COMING, ROBIN-SWA~N!" a category-five Love Hurricane cried out as it shot up and over the roof of the train car, its voice thankfully drowned out by the much larger storm raging around it.

Conis took a moment to stare after her crewmate in befuddled awe before allowing her calm façade to collapse. The angel started to breathe in a heavy but nonetheless controlled manner as she brought her gun up and rested her forehead against its barrel.

"Alright, alright…" she muttered to herself. "Talk it through, just like you were trained. Current loadout: four single-barrel pistols, two in hip holsters, two in shoulder holsters. One sawed-off shotgun and one blunderbuss pistol modified to act as a grenade launcher, both across the small of my back. Two rifles on my back, side to side and angled from my left shoulder to my right hip. One Burn Bazooka on my right, angled from my right shoulder to my left hip. And as for ammunition, several dozen regular rounds and three dozen of Usopp and Chopper's custom shells. Opposition… an indeterminate number of World Government agents, all no doubt highly trained and all certainly armed to their teeth. Overall analysis of the situation… I am way outgunned. Recommended course of action…" She swallowed heavily and glanced up at the heavens. "Run like hell. Ooooh, this is going to su—Ow!"

The White Beret was yanked out of her nascent panic by a soft huff from her hood, followed by the light nip of fangs on her neck.

Conis stared over her shoulder and met Su's flat gaze for a moment before smiling gratefully. "Sorry," she apologized in a thankful tone. "I was getting too caught up in my emotions, but you're right, enough waffling. And besides…" She looked forward with fresh determination. "I'm a Straw Hat." She pulled her goggles up from around her neck and over her eyes before unslinging another of her single-barrel pistols and holding it at the ready. "We live to do the impossible."

And with that, the gunner squared her shoulders as she stood before the door, her breathing slowed in anticipation. "Ready?" she asked softly.

"Su," Su huffed in agreement.

"Alright…" Conis grit her teeth. "Breaching in three, two—!"

Without further ado, Conis lifted her leg and snapped it out in a side kick. The lock and hinges of the door put up a brave fight, but nothing could save them from shattering almost instantly. The resultant force turned the door into a high-speed projectile of reinforced wood that cannoned down the middle of the car's aisle and bowled over almost a dozen government agents in the process.

Conis didn't wait even for the door to hit the back of the car before she dove into the caboose after it, rolling across the carpet before popping into a kneeling position with her guns raised.

"Pistol Unus, Duo," she whispered to herself before starting to unload. She managed to hit one, two, twelve different Government agents that hadn't had time to take cover, winging them and effectively guaranteeing that they were taken out of the fight. Her guns now empty, she spun her pistols into her hip-holsters and stood up.

"Good evening, gentlemen," she announced, bowing politely at the waist. "I'm terribly sorry about this, but you're all in my way." She straightened up again, unslinging her blunderbuss even as she sported an angelic smile on her face. "And we just can't have that, can we? Blunderbuss."

The few agents that had the courage to peek their heads over their seats only had a second to gape in terror before she pulled the trigger, which in turn fired out a small black sphere. The projectile flew for a short distance before cracking against the far wall of the car—

BOOM!

—and violently detonating in a cloud of pink smoke.

Conis smiled in relief as she re-holstered her hand-cannon on her back, but promptly froze when she heard a loud click sound out immediately to the left of her head.

"Alright, pirate scumbag, put your hands up or else—!"

CRACK!

"—ARGH!"

The agent howled in agony as Conis suddenly moved, grabbing his wrist with one hand and demolishing his elbow with her other fist. Then, without missing a beat, she yanked him into a one-armed necklock and snatched his pistol out of the air. With her makeshift human shield dissuading any other agents from returning fire, she quickly gunned down another six of their number. Once the gun was unloaded, Conis grabbed her impromptu shield's collar and spun on her heel in order to get the appropriate momentum needed to fling him into what few of his comrades had managed to regroup, thus sending them tumbling to the ground again.

While the agents attempted to regroup themselves, Su scurried around Conis' body like a demented squirrel, drawing ammunition out of Conis' bag and pockets and reloading the weapons that she had fired. She clung easily to Conis' clothes as she moved from shoulders to hips and back again; by the time the agents were starting to get back on their feet, Su was back in place, and Conis had her weapons at the ready again.

Before the agents could properly draw their weapons, the angel drew both of her rifles over her shoulder and held them at ready. "Who would care to be next?" she said, smiling kindly.

Conis expected to receive any number of responses to her question, but clapping, slow and methodical clapping at that, was most certainly not one of them.

And she didn't expect it to come from above her either.

"Well, well, well," a cool and collected voice drawled, also coming from above. "You're certainly an interesting individual, aren't you?"

Conis slowly looked upwards, and promptly felt her heart drop as she caught sight of a man twice as high as the train car who was somehow… molded to the ceiling and back of the car, bent over at the waist.

"You have got to be kidding me…" Conis breathed to herself, a sentiment that Su shared if the vulpine groan coming from her back was anything to go by.

The miniature giant smirked as he adjusted his glasses. "To be honest, I'm quite glad. I thought this mission would be boring with nothing to do, but I imagine that fighting you will be a worthwhile distraction… for however long you last, anyway." His grin widened as he drew his hands from his pockets and started tugging on the hems of the gloves he was wearing. "Allow me to introduce myself. The name's Jerry, of Cipher Pol 6. I like boxing and beating the tar out of criminals. Now, come on…" He drew his fists up and threw out a few practice jabs. "Put your dukes up and let's dance."

Conis swallowed heavily as she slowly re-holstered one of her rifles and unslung her Burn Bazooka, cocking it in nervous anticipation.

"I hope that Boss is having an easier time of things…" she whispered to herself.

-o-​

[This is most definitely not a Man's Romance,] Boss muttered to himself as the wind, rain, and waves lashed at him. The Dugong was clinging to the edge of the Puffing Tom's cars, slowly inching his way towards Robin's car. Between the cold, the slick metal, and the necessity to maneuver around the windows, it was slow, unpleasant going.

[Well, actually…] He glanced upward thoughtfully as he slowly shuffled along. [On second thought, going through an ordeal such as this with the intent of rescuing a comrade, a female one at that, who gave herself up to try and save us? That is truly…] He pumped a flipper in the air. [A Man's Romance!]

He paused for a moment, then hung his head and sighed as he remembered that his students weren't with him.

[Knew I kept those shell-brains around for something…] he muttered under his breath.

"Hey, did you hear something?"

Boss froze, barely two inches away from a window he'd almost missed in his musings.

"Oh, definitely. I mean, it's not like we're on a train in a storm."

"Ah, c'mon, ease up on the sarcasm, man. This was different, something like a seal."

Boss ground his teeth and mentally hurled every curse he could think of as he only just refrained from bashing his skull against the train-wall. It was a long list.

"A seal." The Dugong could practically hear the condescending, indulgent smile. "You heard a seal. A surfaced seal, in the middle of the storm of the century."

Boss started to sigh in relief…

"Yeah? Well, buddy, I've got a foolproof argument for you."

"Yeah? What?"

"We're in the middle of the Grand Line."

Before feeling his blood freeze in his veins.

There was silence for a moment, and then…

The window above Boss popped open and a World Government stooge popped his head out, staring straight down at Boss.

There was a tense silence as the pirate and the agent stared at one another.

The agent broke first, adopting an exasperated scowl. "Oh, you have got to be—AGH!" The man was unable to finish his statement on account of Boss grabbing his collar, yanking him out the window, and tossing him into the sea in one fluid motion.

The Dugong snarled in frustration as he flipped onto the windowsill and snapped his dart out, spinning it in a circle as he took stock of the mob of agents readying for combat before him. Agents with a lot of guns, he might add.

Moving fast, the Dugong leaped into the train car, rushed to the front, and rammed his elbow into the lock of the door, warping it beyond use. With the agents' only possible route of egress blocked, he faced down his approaching foes with grim determination.

'Sanji and camaraderie be damned,' he thought to himself. 'That witch of an archaeologist owes me for this, damn it!'

-o-​

"Ah, wait, hang on a second…" I held up my hand to stop Nami as a thought occurred to me. "You said that Sanji, Conis, Su, and Boss are all on the Puffing Tom, right?"

"Yeah," our navigator nodded with a nervous smile. "They had to leave Brain at Blue Station so that the members of our crew still here on Water 7 could stay in contact, but while we were still connected, we could hear Conis giving Sanji hell. Seriously, she might not look or act like it at times, but that girl's got a will of—!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's impressive, believe me, I know," I waved Nami to silence. "Not what I was gonna ask." I nodded my head at where the rest of our crew was impatiently milling about. "My head feels less like it's being drilled open and more like there's just someone pounding around inside, so I've been able to get a clean headcount. If those four are the only ones who got on the train… then where the hell is Usopp?"

Nami and the rest of the crew stiffened as my words sank in before looking around frantically.

"What the hell—!?" Nami demanded in shock.

"HEY, USOPP, WHERE ARE YOU!?" Luffy belted out at the top of his lungs.

"Did anyone see where he went?" Chopper asked nervously.

"Not a clue, sorry," Donny shrugged.

"Yeah," Raphey tacked on as she gnawed on the 'thumb' of her flipper. "Last I saw him he was pacing around muttering something about… lying better or something? I dunno, it was a bunch of gibb—!"

FWOOMPF!

"GAH!"

"THE HECK!?"

"WHAT THE—!?"

The cause for our distress was the fact that a freaking explosion had gone off in the middle of the dock, spewing smoke everywhere and absolutely obscuring our vision.

For a second everyone started to panic, myself included, before freezing as a blast of noise roared out through the smoke. A gong, to be exact, followed by a guitar solo.

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME, SOUNDBITE!" Nami roared.

"THAT WASN'T ME!" the snail snapped, before hesitating slightly. "Or, well… IT ISN'T ANYMORE? The hell does he think he's—!?"

"Soundbite, what's going on?!" I demanded as a brass section started to kick in. "What are you talking about? And why the hell does this song sound familiar?!"

"Usopp had me play something for HIM AWHILE BACK, AND HE RECORDED IT ON A TONE DIAL!" Soundbite explained in a confused tone. "But I have no clue what he's—!"

Suddenly, words cut through the music, and my gut and jaw dropped at the same time as I realized where I knew this song from.

"Oh, the wind carries my na~me! From Sniper Island far awa~y!"

I finally got my jaw working and managed to roar over the cacophony. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, LONG-NOSE!?"

Unfortunately, going by how he kept plowing on, it seemed that he'd elected to summarily ignore me. "When I take aim, it's straight and true! Lu-lu-la-la-lu~!"

I ground my teeth as I glanced at Soundbite. "Where is he so that I can slap the stupid out of him?"

The snail immediately shook his head. "He's bouncing the music around THE ROOM, AND THERE ARE TOO MANY WORKERS IN HERE TO TELL which is him!"

"Whether you're a man or mouse: lock on!" Usopp proclaimed proudly. "I will put your heart in my sights, LOCK ON!"

BOMF!

"GAH!"

"AGAIN!? SERIOUSLY!?"

There was a renewed round of protests as a second explosion, this time a smokeless one at that, suddenly detonated somewhere, the sheer force blowing away all the yet-lingering smoke and revealing a certain cloak-wearing individual perched on top of the Rocketman's smokestack.

"BEHOLD!" the cloak-wearer bellowed confidently. "I AM THE GRANDMASTER OF SNIPER ISLAND! THE FLAWLESS MARKSMAN, THE INFALLIBLE SHARPSHOOTER, HE WHO HAS FIRED A HUNDRED SHOTS AND MISSED NOT EVEN ONCE! I! AM! SNIPER—!"

WOOOT!

"GYAH!"

The cloak-wearer leaped off the Sea Train with an agonized holler when a blast of steam suddenly hit him from below. He then unceremoniously faceplanted on the dock.

"Will you stop screwing around, damn it?!" a grease-stained Iceburg demanded as he stuck his head out of the cabin's window. "Getting this hunk of junk moving again is hard enough as is without your bullshit impairing my vision!"

"Sowwy…" the cloaked man mumbled into the dock. He waited a moment for Iceburg to get back to work before popping up into a proud stance, finger jabbed in the air and his very familiar mask on display for all to see. "BEHOLD!" Usopp proclaimed. "I AM SNIPER KING!"

"Are you serious?!" most of the crew demanded incredulously, myself included.

"SO COOL!" shouted Luffy, Chopper, and… the Teenage Dugong Warrior Squad!?

I snagged the back of Leo and Donny's shells and hauled them up to glare-level. "Don't tell me you two actually buy this farce!?"

Leo snorted derisively. "With that nose? He wishes."

"But hey, you gotta give a man props where he's due," Donny shrugged. "The presentation is top-notch."

My eye twitched before I forced myself to drop the Dugongs and march towards my obviously insane crewmate. "Pardon me, everyone, I need to have a word with our… guest." Before anyone could respond, I reached Usopp, spun him around so that he was facing away from everyone, and slung my arm around his shoulders in such a way that it was very clear I could headlock him if I wanted to. "Alright, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" I hissed under my breath.

The so-called Sniper King promptly began blustering. "W-Whatever do you mean, good sir? The entire world knows of the Straw Hat Pirates, even Sniper Island! Do you know where Sniper Island is, good sir? It's in—GRK!" 'Sniper King' stiffened in terror when I crushed him against me.

"I will rip 'Sniper Island' clean out of you and show it to you unless you cut the bullshit. Do not test me, Long Nose, I have had a hell of a day," I growled menacingly.

"Alright-alright-alright-alright!" Usopp yelped, straining to keep his voice at a whisper. "I'll explain, I'll explain, just don't break my legs!"

"I'll consider it if you manage to satisfy me," I hissed. "Talk fast."

Usopp took a second to get his breathing under control before speaking. "L-L-Look, let's be frank, alright? I've done a lot of insane things on this crew and I love everyone on it, and I want to save Robin, but Enies Lobby!?" He shook his head vigorously. "You don't have the context that I have with that name, that anyone in the world has with that name. We're raised to fear Enies, it's the entryway to either heaven or hell if you're a civilian, or if you're a pirate, just two different kinds of hell! It's a location that's as bad as the boogeyman! I-I-I want to be brave, but…" Usopp gazed miserably at his knees, which were shivering as they desperately fought to support him. "I-I can't, I know I can't, I'm too scared b-but I want to save Robin! So… So I'm compromising and taking your advice."

"When the hell did I ever suggest doing this?!" I demanded incredulously.

"W-W-Well!" Usopp flung his hand up, probably in an attempt to stop the fist I had cocked. "You told me that if I was having trouble building up bravery, that I should try lying to myself to convince myself that I could do it! And I tried that, I did, but no matter how badly I lied, I was too scared to go and fight alongside you all! So…"

My jaw dropped as realization hit me. "So you made up someone brave enough to go in your place!?"

I could see the shaky grin stretching behind his mask. "Pretty smart, huh?"

I rapped the butt of my palm against his forehead. "Does this look like the face of someone who approves in any given capacity, you stupid—!" I started to hiss before pausing and forcing myself to take a few breaths and calm down. "Sorry. Again, hell of a day, sporting a concussion, my temper's a little bit wild. But Usopp," I continued, shaking my head. "You don't need to do that. Usopp, in the end, no matter how you cut it, all of the bravery that you manage as Sniper King is the same bravery you can manage as yourself. All of this is… unnecessary! You hear me?"

Usopp was pointedly silent for a moment before jerking his head to look away. I felt a vein pop on my forehead, and I opened my mouth to continue chewing him out… when suddenly a much, much more satisfying way to convince him came to mind. Plastering a smile on my face that I knew looked fake, I loosened my grip on him and patted his back. "Well, if that's your choice, then I suppose that's that, nothing I can do about it!" I stepped to the side and gestured to the rest of the crew. "Go ahead, Sniper King, tell the rest of the crew why you're here!" I said warmly. Soundbite opened his mouth to say something, but I donned a sadistic grin as I popped a finger up to silence him. This… This was going to be fun.

Usopp hesitated a moment as he tried to divine what kind of game I was playing, but he eventually elected to go back to his previous pose with his finger pointing in the air. "SNIPER KING!"

"SO COOL!" the usual suspects cheered again. However, unlike last time, Chopper paused shortly after cheering and tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"Ah… hey, Sniper King?" the Zoan-doctor raised his hoof questioningly. "Not that you're not really cool and everything, but why are you here?"

"Oh, yeah!" Luffy stuck his hand up as well. "And have you seen Usopp anywhere? He's our sniper and we can't find him!"

Usopp snapped into yet another pose, his fingers cradling his chin. "Your questions are fortuitous, for they both share the exact same answer! For you see, your comrade, Usopp, he told me of your plight." He held his fist before his face and shook his head in a most dramatic manner. "The injustice, the inhumanity! His words moved me like none before! Sadly, however…" The 'super'-hero crossed his arms and bowed his head solemnly. "For all that I could tell that your most skilled sniper wished to aid you in the rescue of your crewmate, he informed me that his will was just not up to the task! As such, he begged me to take his place in your crusade and—!"

"LIAR!" CRACK!

"—GRK!" Usopp choked as he slammed to the ground at my feet, his nose bent way out of shape. "Agh… what just happened?"

"Pfff—!" I snorted through the hand I was using to hide my smile. "You just tried to tell Luffy that one of his crewmates tried to run from a fight to save another crewmate! What do you think just happened?"

I could see Usopp's eyes widen behind his goggles. "Ahhh, shi—WAGH!" That was as far as he got before a Heavy Point Chopper grabbed his collar and hauled him up to both his and Luffy's apoplectic lines of sight.

"You're lying!" Luffy snarled, inches away from letting loose and slugging Usopp again. "Usopp would never run away, not now and especially not from this!"

"Yeah!" Chopper barked in agreement. "Sure, Usopp can be something of a coward, sure, he might lie a lot, sure, he has so much practice at running that he's almost got Shave down pat—!"

"GET ON WITH IT!" the voice of God barked from on high, startling Chopper into dropping the masked sniper and allowing him to stumble back a bit as he rubbed his throat.

I blinked in realization. "Wow, I can't believe that that was the first Monty Python reference I've ever heard you make."

"Seriously?" Soundbite blinked in surprise. "Eesh, I'LL HAVE TO try and make MORE!"

"Usopp wouldn't run away!" Luffy reasserted firmly, so filled with conviction that he failed to notice 'Sniper King' starting to twitch like someone trying to dance to will. . "Not today, not from this! No matter what, Usopp is our crewmate! He's brave, he's smart, he's…" Luffy paused for a moment before glancing to the side and whistling nervously. "He's really strong…"

"You know everyone can tell you're lying, right?" 'Sniper King' muttered as he twitched.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER!" Luffy roared, causing him to jump in shock. "EVEN IF USOPP ISN'T STRONG, I KNOW HE WOULDN'T EVER RUN! USOPP'S MY CREWMATE! I TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE, AND I KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW SCARED HE WAS, USOPP WOULD NEVER RUN! HE'D STAY AND HE'D BEAT YOU IN ANY SNIPING CONTEST A MILLION TIMES—!"

"DAMN IT, WILL YOU STOP MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT ALREADY?!" Usopp, really Usopp this time, finally snapped with an infuriated roar as he ripped his mask off and threw it at the ground.

"USOPP!?" Chopper and Luffy gaped.

"Seriously, Chopper?" Zoro deadpanned.

The reindeer turned cherry blossom-pink and chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "I, ah, might have gotten carried away with how cool he was…"

"That's one thing to call him…" Nami scoffed before redirecting her attention to where Luffy was staring at Usopp in innocent confusion.

"Why the heck were you wearing that mask, Usopp?" he asked in an utterly clueless tone, which only caused Usopp to gain another infuriated tickmark.

"BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED, DAMN IT!" the sniper bellowed, even going so far as to flail his fists at his side. "WE'RE ABOUT TO RAID ENIES LOBBY, THE GATES OF HELL THEMSELVES! ALL I WANTED WAS TO WEAR THAT MASK AND BECOME SOMEONE ELSE FOR A FEW HOURS, SOMEONE BRAVE AND STRONG ENOUGH TO KICK ASS WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT PISSING HIS PANTS, AND THEN HE WOULD HAVE DISAPPEARED INTO THE NIGHT NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN! WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!?"

"Oooooh…" Luffy nodded slowly in understanding before chuckling sheepishly. "Well, if that's why, then that's alright. You can still wear the mask, I won't be mad!"

"LIKE HELL I CAN AFTER YOU SAID ALL THOSE NICE THINGS ABOUT ME!" Usopp spat. "THANKS TO YOU BEING SO NICE, IF I TRIED WEARING IT NOW, I'D FEEL GUILTY AS ALL HELL! I PUT ALL THAT WORK INTO IT AND NOW I DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE BUT TO FORGET IT! THIS DAMN MASK—!" He raised a foot high...

"IS TOTALLY USELESS!"

CRACK!

And brought it down dead center on the mask.

"USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS—!"

He then proceeded to do it a half dozen times more.

I cocked an eyebrow as I watched the display. "Are you…?"

"Noooope, that's all him."

"Huh," I was silent for a moment before shrugging indifferently. "Ah, well, at least he makes it work." I then grinned as I noted that Usopp had finally stopped his stomping in favor of just standing around and panting. With that out of the way, I walked up to him and slung my arm around his shoulder again, this time in a friendly manner. "Satisfied?"

Usopp took a moment to finish catching his breath before looking down at the shattered mess at his feet. "I… yeah. Yeah, I actually think I am."

"Glad to hear it." I then leaned down, picked up a fragment of the mask, and looked it over. "Fare thee well, Sniper King. You were… actually kind of cool, I'll admit…" I grinned proudly as I looked at Usopp. "But it seems like our sniper's outgrown you a little early."

"As is only just."

"Nope!" I stated flatly as I tossed the fragment off the dock without a second of hesitation. I could put up with a lot of insanity, but there was no way that I was dealing with that.

"So," Nami drew attention to herself with a clap of her hands. "Now that Usopp's finally managed to grow at least half a pair—"

"HEY!"

"—It seems like the only thing we're waiting on so that we can…" She sighed in resignation. "Officially cement our status as the most infamous pirate crew since the Roger Pirates, is for—"

WOOOOOOOOT!

Nami was cut off by Rocketman blowing its stack again, only this time it wasn't a mere whistle. It was a roar, a roar of pure mechanical power that shook us all straight to our bones.

Iceburg jumped out of the engine's cabin, wiping his hands off on a rag. "He's good to go. Though, of course…" He gave Kokoro a warning look. "Once he starts, he's not going to stop. You realize that, right?"

"Wait, you mean that the brakes on this monster don't work!?" Vivi squeaked in terror.

"Why do you think it's locked away in here?" I scoffed. "Tom may have been a genius, but he couldn't get everything right the first time; Rocketman is the prototype, and it didn't get its name for shits and giggles, it got it because it's nothing but a runaway train. Though, really…" I grinned eagerly. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"BRAKES?" Soundbite cackled. "Where we're going, we don't need brakes!"

"NGAGAGAGA! Ain't that the truth!" Kokoro cackled as she climbed into the train's cabin. "Fair warning though, we'll be passing eighty-eight by a wide margin!"

I slammed my hand down on Soundbite's shell when I noticed his ecstatic grin. "You can get into a quote-off after we turn Enies inside-out. For now, though?" I spun my finger in the air. "MOUNT UP!"

"Right!" Zambai grinned as he slammed his fist into his palm. "We'll go hop on our King Bulls and hook up with you guys on the way to the tracks! ALRIGHT, MEN!" he raised his voice to address the rest of the Franky Family. "LET'S GO GET OUR BIG BRO BACK!"

"YEAH!" the rest of the disjointed family bellowed at the top of their lungs before following their second-turned-leader out of the dock.

"Uh, Cross?"

I glanced back to see that Kiwi and Mozu had lingered behind. "What is it, you two?"

"Why did they take Big Bro Franky?" Kiwi asked.

"Yeah, I thought all they wanted were those blueprints that you destroyed," Mozu added.

"I suppose I should explain that."

All eyes fell on Iceburg, who was grimacing. "'Franky' is a nickname that I gave him; his real name is Cutty Flam. When Tom was taken away several years ago, Franky was alongside Kokoro and I, and he was unable to cope with the injustice of Tom's sentence. He stole a rifle from one of the Marines nearby and slammed it into the lead investigator's face. He was marked as a criminal, but never persecuted, as he was thought dead not long afterward."

"For good reason," I picked up, drawing everyone's attention back to me. "Franky stood on the sea-train tracks, attempting to keep it from running armed only with a bazooka and his own will. He failed, and was cataclysmically injured; the only reason he survived is that he drifted to a scrap ship, where he rebuilt his body with iron. When he finally made his way back to Water 7 years later, Iceburg encouraged him to discard his real name and only go by Franky to avoid persecution."

Iceburg stared quizzically at me for a few seconds before shaking his head. "Perfectly accurate, and if you survive storming Enies, I'm going to enjoy hearing the explanation. But even so…"

"You don't think that CP9 would have gone out of their way to take him when they already had Robin?" I asked. "The reason for that is simple. That bastard agent that Franky pistol-whipped all those years ago? He never fully recovered; he's got leather covering half his face to hold it together. And since then, he's become the chief of CP9. And while I'm sure he's pissed as all hell about not being able to get his hands on the blueprints, he's sure as hell petty enough to get Franky kidnapped so that he can get his revenge."

Iceburg grimaced darkly. "Yes, well… I'm sure as hell not letting that happen. Paulie, Lulu, Tilestone!"

"SIR!" the three shipwrights barked in unison, snapping into uniform salutes.

The foreman stared his men down, causing them to flinch self-consciously. "I imagine that even if I didn't tell you to, the three of you would sneak aboard the Rocketman in order to accompany the Straw Hats and get some measure of justice against our old comrades, right?"

"Ah, w-well sir…" Paulie muttered, looking away sheepishly.

"Shut it."

The rope-master's jaw snapped shut with a click.

Iceburg eyed them silently for a moment before sighing. "Well, if you're going anyway, I might as well make it official: listen up!" The sudden shout caused the trio to snap to attention again. "I already dismissed Kaku and Kalifa myself, but Lucci is still technically an employee of Galley-La. I am not happy with this situation. So, here." Iceburg drew an envelope from his pocket and handed it off to Paulie.

The shipwright looked it over in confusion. "Eh? What the—? An envelope of cash? The hell?"

"Severance pay," Iceburg explained in an appropriately cold tone. "I don't expect you to fight Lucci one-on-one, I recognize that he's too strong for that, but one way or another, make sure that he gets that envelope." The foreman crossed his arms with a scowl. "Let's be clear: I don't want Rob Lucci's name to be associated with Galley-La for any longer than it has to be, do I make myself clear?"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" the shipwrights saluted proudly.

"Well, now that we're all good and settled!" Kokoro called out. "What say we get this show on the road, huh?"

"Right there with you!" I grinned eagerly as I clambered into the Rocketman's cabin, with the rest of the crew right behind me. I settled on the cushions nearest the window as everyone came inside, and consequently was within earshot of a certain exchange:

"Iceburg… can you watch after Merry while we're gone? I mean, if you have time between the damage—"

"No, it would be my pleasure."

I winced, hard, as I remembered that little detail. At least Iceburg had agreed, but even with everything she was doing, at this point, there really wasn't much I could do except hope for a miracle… or bargain for one. But I shook those thoughts off as Usopp boarded, everyone else either milling about or sitting down.

"Alright, everyone, hang on tight!" Kokoro belted out from the engine. "The Runaway Sea Train Rocketman is now departing from Water 7 with Enies Lobby as its terminus! Full steam ahead!"

"You ready for this?" I asked Soundbite eagerly as I stood up and hung my torso out of the window of the train car.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" the snail whooped.

"Hey, what the—?! GET BACK IN HERE, YOU MORO—!"

WOOOOOOOOT!

Vivi was cut off when, with an almighty jerk and roar, the Sea Train shot out of its dock like a freaking cannonball.

Seeing it was one thing, but riding a Sea Train... well, it was something else entirely. Riding even the prototype, it was easy to see how the Sea Trains managed to brave waters that swallowed ships on a daily basis: they fought the Grand Line and always came out on top because they were complete and utter monsters. Speed, power, durability, all aspects that the iron horses had in spades with which they could stampede over the Grand Line without a moment's worry or hesitation.

Honestly, even in spite of the current situation, even in spite of the danger and worry I felt, in face of the sheer speed of the Rocketman, of the conflict between nature clashing against machine…

"Pff…"

What else could I do but laugh in ecstatic glee?

"PFFFHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! WOOHOO, THIS IS AWESOME!"

"BEST RIDE EVAH! WAHAHA!"

"YOU MORONS ARE GOING TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED!" Nami screamed from within.

Soundbite and I paused and glanced at one another before grinning ecstatically.

"WORTH IT!" we chorused.

"IDIOTS!"

Still, even as I laughed and cheered, I couldn't help but feel some measure of concern in the back of my mind for our comrades off on the Puffing Tom.

-o-​

Conis took a moment to regain her breath before glancing at Franky. "Alright, you ready?"

The blue-haired cyborg cracked his head side to side as he rolled his shoulders. "So far, I've been beaten, tied up, and then tossed in a train car like little more than luggage. Trust me, I am SUPER! ready," he growled eagerly.

"Alright, then." Conis took a step back from the door, her grip on her underslung Bazooka tightening. "Breaching in three, two—!" The angel stepped forward and slammed her heel in the dead center of the door, blasting it off its hinges and into the car—

SHINK!

Where it only managed to fly forwards a few feet before splitting into uniform planks of wood that even went so far as to land in a neat stack at the back of the car.

Captain T-Bone snorted as he stood up from his post-swing stance and re-sheathed his sword. "Now, now," the dilapidated Captain wheezed in a scolding tone. "You should be more careful. You could have hurt someone with that stunt of yours."

Conis and Franky both gaped.

"We're dead," they summarized flatly.

"And now that you've so rudely intruded into my car…" T-Bone rumbled as he slowly marched up to the two, towering above them like a human-sized giant… before sinking into a sitting position as one of his subordinates produced a full-fledged tea set before him, from which the Captain picked up a cup and took a sip. "Would you care to relax and join us for a cup of tea?" he continued, all of the Marines in the car raising cups of their own.

The interlopers exchanged dubious looks for a second before they adopted seiza positions of their own, picked up the offered cups, and took deep sips of the drink being offered to them.

Conis promptly reeled back in surprise. "Oh, my, this is quite good!"

"Indeed," Franky hummed. "This is quite the intriguing variety of flavors. It really engages the palate."

"Here, Su," Conis offered, holding her cup over her shoulder. "Would you care for a taste?"

"Su…" The cloud fox ground her paw into her muzzle with a moan.

"I'm glad you enjoy it so much," T-Bone chuckled into his cup. "It's my own personal blend. It's difficult to acquire all the necessary components, but I find the taste to be well worth it."

"I can't help but agree with you there," Franky nodded his head in agreement. "I'm tasting some bits from North Blue, West Blue, New Worl—!"

SMASH!

"WHY THE HELL ARE WE JUST SITTING AROUND DRINKING TEA!?" Franky roared as he put his fist through the floor where his tea set had been moments earlier.

T-Bone gave Franky a flat look as he held the set out of range before handing it off and looking at the Angel and Cloud Fox in the room. "You are Conis and Su of the Straw Hat Pirates, yes?"

The two nodded their heads hesitantly.

"I trust, then, that you are familiar with the name 'Ophiuchus'? I myself am known as Scorpio."

Conis gasped in realization before leaping to her feet and waving her hands frantically as she interposed herself between the Captain and Franky. "Waitwaitwaitwait!" she pleaded hastily. "I know that this must sound insane, but he's a friend of Cro—MMPH?"

"Su," the fox said with a tone of warning. Conis stared at the fox for a moment before nodding, upon which she removed her tail from her mistress' mouth.

"Ah, ahem, h-he's a friend of a member of our crew," Conis corrected carefully.

"What!?" Franky squawked in shock.

"Ally, to be specific. I wouldn't go so far as to call us friends quite yet, especially with his most… grating attitude," T-Bone corrected.

"Su," Su rolled her eyes with a scoff.

"Ally—are you nuts!?" Franky demanded indignantly. "Cross has done his best to verbally tear the Marines a new one! Why would any Marine want to be the ally of any member of your crew!?"

"Perhaps…" T-Bone posited calmly. "Because there are some Marines who realize that Jeremiah Cross is actually correct about the current state of the Navy's morality—or lack thereof, as it were. And with the inability to ignore it any longer, such Marines are faced with the option to either leave the Navy or fight against it. Not through piracy, nor through open revolution… or not quite yet, at least. Instead, we have chosen to bide our time and build our numbers, an endeavor for which Ophiuchus has proven to be an invaluable resource."

"I know it sounds crazy, but it's true!" Conis insisted desperately. "Captain T-Bone and his friends—"

"That classification is accurate," T-Bone nodded.

"—Are working with C—Ophiuchus to try and make the world better!" Conis cast a light glare over her shoulder as she rubbed the freshly bitten part of her shoulder.

Franky snorted derisively as he backed down slightly, but not a lot. "Give me one reason why I should believe all this and not punch this guy's head clean off."

T-Bone cocked what little of his eyebrow remained as he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "Would the fact that I subdued the CP7 agent waiting in the next car be sufficient?"

Franky and Conis both snapped shocked looks at the Captain. They then moved to the doorway in question and exited to the next car. Five seconds later, they were back with disturbed expressions on their faces.

"I didn't think anyone could top Satori's level of ugly," Conis shuddered. "Clearly, I was wrong."

"So much ramen…" Franky moaned.

"And all from his nose, to boot," T-Bone snorted. "I incapacitated him when he tried to serve that foul concoction of his to my men and I. Honestly now, I do believe that I did the wide world of cuisine a favor."

Conis glanced over her shoulder with an uncomfortable grimace. "I can only imagine how Sanji would have reacted to that…"

Franky hastily shook his head and re-donned his grimace. "S-Still, that doesn't mean anything! You could have just taken that bastard down because he was a freak! That doesn't say prove anything about you and the Straw Hats!"

T-Bone rolled his eyes with a weary sigh before gesturing to one of his men, who produced a Transponder Snail from a briefcase he was holding. "Please connect me to Pisces," he requested. The snail smiled and nodded before concentrating, during which the Captain cast a glance at the pirate and cyborg. "The Government prohibited the presence of Transponder Snails on this voyage for fear that Jeremiah Cross's partner might learn something that would compromise CP9's mission in any way. It is fortunate, therefore, that I've taken to the habit of keeping one well-hidden at all times, in case of just such an emergency. Such as, say, now."

Not even a second later, the Transponder Snail adopted a carefully neutral expression. "Pisces," it drawled in a mucked-up voice.

"Scorpio," T-Bone wheezed in return. "Since you're the only one with his number, would you be so kind as to connect us to Ophiuchus? I have his crewmate here with me, and I would like to verify my allegiance."

"Sure thing, just give me a second to connect to him," Pisces trailed off for a moment before nodding in satisfaction. "Done. Pisces calling."

"PFFHAHAHA! OPHIUCHUS HERE, BABY!" an equally garbled voice whooped ecstatically over the sound of gale-force winds, driving rain, and a roaring steam engine. "AND DAMN GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS, 'CAUSE WE'VE HIT A SNAG ON OUR END AND I CAN'T CALL YOU ON MY OWN JUST YET!"

There was a moment of silence before Pisces groaned in resignation. "I swear, every time, the migraine gets worse and worse…"

"Ophiuchus," T-Bone cut in. "I am currently in the presence of your comrades and a number of my own men. If you'd be so kind as to identify yourself, please?"

"EH? SERIOUS—AH, WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND!" The winds died down to nothing, and a breathless voice panted across a moment later. "S-Sorry about that, adrenaline rush… anyway, you said a number of your own men, Scorpio?"

"I trust that they will keep silent about this," he said, scanning over the room. One and all, the men sprang into salutes. "But still, with matters as delicate as these, discretion is the utmost key, so if you would be so kind as to…?"

"Yeah, yeah, on it. So—Ah… Little Dipper, if you would?"

"Little Dipper my hairy left—!" Suddenly a staticky crackling noise erected around the Captain, the angel, and the cyborg. "THERE! DONE! AND CALL ME LITTLE DIPPER AGAIN AND I'LL TEAR YOUR EAR OFF."

"Duly noted," Ophiuchus, or rather, Cross assured someone who could only be Soundbite.

"…You know, I should be surprised that you actually have this kind of alliance in the Navy, Cross," Franky began. "But after you tricked CP9 into showing themselves, I'm really not. I don't think anything you say can surprise me now."

"DON'T CHALLENGE HIM!" roared everyone in earshot.

"Yeah, Franky," Cross snickered tauntingly. "Or would you rather Cutty Flam, for the sake of nostalgia?"

Franky twitched slightly before snorting. "That doesn't prove anything, Kokoro said that in front of you yesterday."

"True, true, but she sure as hell didn't call you Number 36."

"Strike two, Cross. I told you that one my—!"

"Well, yes, but you didn't tell me that this is the first humanoid model, whereas the first thirty-five were more, shall we say… aquatic, designed specifically for the purpose of killing sea kings. Specifically… a very persistent and centipede-y one." Cross was silent for a second before grinning widely. "I totally hit the nail on the head and Franky's frozen, isn't he?"

"You never fail to amaze and horrify, Cross," T-Bone sighed wearily.

"Tell me about it…" Pisces groaned.

"But nevertheless, moving on while Franky recovers…" Cross said, his tone becoming more serious. "Status report on the Puffing Tom?"

"The train has seven compartments. The rearmost held a large group of agents led by Jerry of Cipher Pol Number 6," T-Bone stated as he glanced at Conis. "Your gunner has dealt with them, I presume?"

Conis nodded in agreement as she worked a crick out of her neck. "The boxer was slippery, but I eventually managed to deal him a head-on blast with my bazooka."

T-Bone nodded. "Moving on, the sixth held only two agents and Franky. The fifth is mine, the fourth held Wanze of CP7, who I dispatched myself, and the third holds Nero, the newest member of CP9. The agents themselves wait in the second car, and Nico Robin is in the first."

"And the rest of the crew?"

"Boss and Sanji are making their way to Robin on the outside," Su spoke up out of the blue. "Boss is scaling the side of the cars, while Sanji's running along the top. Conis went in through the back in order to act as a distraction. And damn, I never thought I'd say this, but I missed the sound of your voice, slimeball, if only because I missed the sound of my own."

"Back at ya, PUFFBALL!"

"Mrgh… the roof, huh? That means he'll run into Nero, the paranoid rat… but he is stronger than him, so…"

-o-​

Several cars ahead and a few feet up, two combatants hastily fell into crouches and used their hands to stabilize themselves as the Puffing Tom mounted a particularly large wave.

'Damn this slippery sea-weasel…' Sanji thought to himself as he absentmindedly shielded his lighter in a futile effort to ignite his cigarette. 'Because of all his damn moving and this footing, I can't get a bead on him! I can tell that he's weak, all I need is to get one good kick in…'

'Damn this slippery pirate-weakling…' Nero mentally cursed as he spat out a bloody tooth, a remnant of the first few instances of the fight where he'd foolishly tried to meet his opponent head-on. 'I don't know what trick he's pulling to stay ahead of a Four Powers user like me, but in the end, he's still just mortal! All I need is to get him to lose his footing, even a little…'

And so, their wills resolved and their breath regained, the pirate and wannabe-assassin dashed at one another anew.

-o-​

"…eh, fuck it, it's Sanji, we don't call him a monster for shits and giggles. He should come out just fine. Right, anyway… OK. As for us, we're in pursuit on the prototype sea train, Rocketman. We probably won't catch the Puffing Tom, but we'll reach Enies Lobby not long after it. Scorpio, considering CP9's presence—!"

"The cars are naturally buoyant and I can fend off any Sea Kings who attempt to harass us on my own, fret not for my safety, Cross," the Captain calmly insisted.

"Right, then, that takes care of that, I suppose. Now, if that's all, Pisces, I need to talk with you about somethi—!"

"HEY, KIDS!" an elderly female voice barked across the connection. "I SUGGEST THAT YOU ALL HANG ONTO YOUR UNDERWEAR, WE'RE ABOUT TO HIT THE TRACKS! THINGS ARE GONNA GET ROUGH!"

"Ohhh!" Cross all but squealed. "On second thought, call me back in a few minutes! No way in hell am I missing this rush!"

"COWABUNGA, BAY-BEE!" Soundbite hollered.

"What!?" Pisces yelped. "Cross, don't you dare—!"

"PFFHAHAHAHA!" Cross cackled at the top of his lungs, shouting to be heard over the roar of the wind. "OH YEAH, THIS IS THE LIFE!"

"Ergh…" Pisces relented with an exasperated groan. "I swear, sometimes I'm convinced that this idiot has a raging death wish…"

"COME ON, YOU BIG HUNK A' JUNK! GIVE ME ALL YOU—!"

KA-KLUNK!

"—WAAAAAaaaaagh!"

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air as the tenuously allied individuals tried to process just what the hell they'd just heard.

"Did… Did Cross just get blown off of his train?" Conis asked uneasily.

"Yes, he did. Be grateful that I managed to grab Soundbite before he flew away," groaned Zoro's pained voice. "And before the rest of us got flung to the back of the cabin, for that matter."

"Wow, he really does have a death wish…" Franky muttered.

Pisces' eye twitched furiously even as she ground her teeth. "Ooooh, trust me, he's not dead yet," she promised grimly. "He's like a cockroach: he's not really dead until you've torn his twitching body to pieces."

"Fantasizing again, Lieutenant?" T-Bone blandly asked.

"What can I say, it helps me fall asleep at night."

Franky's sweatdrop doubled in size. "Eesh, Cross's friends are fucked up in the head."

"Oh, no no no, you have it backward!" Pisces chirped with a pleasant expression. "I was normal once upon a time…" She scowled vehemently. "And then Cross had to go and shatter my ignorance, fucking up both me and my worldview in the process."

Franky considered that for a moment before waving his hand dismissively. "Nah, that doesn't fit. I've been a cyborg for over a decade and Su's just naturally twisted. Maybe Cross's just a magnet for this stuff?"

Soundbite stared at Franky with a blank expression, the only movement on his face the twitching of Pisces' eye. "So, basically, you're telling me… that I was cracked right from the start?"

"Eh…" Conis waved her hand side to side. "More like from the instant you set foot in the Grand Line."

She was silent for a second longer before adorning a very twitchy smile. "Well, this has been fun, but I really must be going. Have fun bringing the shitstorm of the century down upon your own heads!"

"Ah, wait!" Su hastily popped her paw up. "While I still have my voice, I just have to know!" She focused her attention on T-Bone. "Were you born with your face looking like—?"

The Captain's expression remained unflinchingly neutral as he pressed his finger into the snail's cradle and forced the gastropod back to sleep.

"—sususu, su—? Su?" Su paused in confusion before turning her snout up with an affronted "Su!"

"There are not enough words in the world to apologize for her…" Conis mumbled into her hand.

"Trust me, I've heard worse," T-Bone said dismissively. "Now then, I suggest that the two—!"

"SU!"

"—three of you, my apologies, move onto the next car and decouple the ones we're on now. Best that you move fast. Every moment we waste is a moment we draw closer to Enies Lobby."

The two nodded, and the Marines in the room braced themselves as the three pirates exited the car. Conis stepped to the entrance of the kitchen as Franky bent down to the connecting cable. Two seconds later, the rear three cars of the Puffing Tom began losing speed and drifting away from them.

Nodding in satisfaction, Franky looked back at Conis. "Are you ready to keep going?"

The angel nodded confidently as she drew her Bazooka. "As if I wouldn't be."

-o-​

"Well, that was great until it wasn't," I muttered to myself as I wrung out my sodden jacket into Rocketman's water tank.

"YA THINK!?" Soundbite snarled.

"Wow, Mister Cross, that was really stupid!" Chimney chirped as she watched me wring myself out.

"Yeah, really, really stupid!" Gonbe concurred.

"NAGAGAGA!" Kokoro cackled as she effortlessly manipulated Rocketman's controls. "Man, I haven't seen something that stupid since back when Franky was a part of Tom's Workers! What, is storming Enies not enough of a rush for you?"

"Well, ex-cuse me for wanting to live a little. It's not often that trains have open windows to take advantage of!" I sniffed.

"Huh, good point…" Chimney cocked her head to the side thoughtfully before redonning her grin. "Buuut that was still stupid!"

"Really stupid!" Gonbe added on.

"Really really stupid!" Luffy laughed as he stuck his head into the cabin.

"WE DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM YOU!" Soundbite barked.

"ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN YOU'RE DOING THE EXACT SAME SHIT YOU'RE BERATING ME FOR!" I snarled at him, pointing an accusatory finger.

"Yeah, but he's a monster and the one who saved you, so he doesn't count!" Kokoro cackled.

I held my pose for a moment before lowering my finger and coughing into my fist. "Withdrawn." Shaking off the insanity of the moment, I considered how things were going. A moment later, I snapped my attention to Soundbite. "Keep a lookout for Yokozuna, make sure he doesn't try his 'daily exercise routine' on us for kidnapping Kokoro, got it?"

"Roger roger," the snail replied.

With that dealt with, I thought about matters a little more, but that was about as much as I could change things at this point. I'd have to wait until everyone else got back to start the planning.

Nodding to myself in acceptance, I turned my attention to the rest of the car—

"GAH MOTHER!"

"WOO MAMA!"

—and promptly regretted it, as I caught a brief glimpse of full-frontal Nami right as she was changing before I managed to snap my hands up to block her. And from the fact that she was staring directly at me as she fastened her very revealing—if admittedly iconic—outfit into place, she was doing it intentionally. I lowered my hands only when I heard the metallic slam that was the Clima-Tact, signifying she was finished.

"Okay, ready for battle!" she announced, before blinking at the blushing Paulie, bleeding Tilestone, Zambai, and Lulu, and my own blistering glare. "What's wrong?" she asked innocently, though I wasn't fooled in the least.

"Couldn't you have warned me?!" I demanded indignantly.

"YOU CHANGED IN HERE WITHOUT A MOMENT'S THOUGHT!" Paulie added. "SCANDALOUS WOMAN!"

"Nice scandal…" the other three groaned, each offering a thumbs-up.

The devil standing before me smirked as she tapped her weapon on her shoulder. "I shouuuuld be charging you ฿10,000 for that little peek…" I froze in horror, but she promptly spread her arms in a 'what can you do' manner. "Buuut, as I'm feeling generous, I think I'll let you off this time and just consider it payback. There is only one car, after all."

"Payback!? For what!?"

"Do you want that list chronologically, or alphabetically?" Chopper piped up from where he was working on something.

"HA! CALLBA—wait, you weren't even part of the crew BACK THEN!" Soundbite said.

"You talk in your sleep and I take good notes."

"THAT RAISES EVEN MORE QUESTIONS!"

"And all of them are ones that we can discuss later," I cut in, looking for some excuse to move past that conversation and finding it easily in the form of Franky's right hand. "Zambai, tell your guys not to bother shooting at the Aqua Laguna when we get to it; this is Luffy and Zoro's time to shine, so save your ammo for Enies Lobby. Chopper, do you still have my Vision Dial?"

The reindeer nodded before producing it from his bag. I didn't ask why he needed to borrow it, because quite frankly, I didn't want to know. "Good. Someone had better get a very good picture of what's going to happen, or else I'm gonna crack skulls. Besides that, all we have to do is wait until we regroup with our guys on the train." I grimaced as I considered the possible outcomes of that endeavor. "One way or another."

Everyone nodded, and as their attention left me, I scanned around the cabin to observe everyone's actions. Chopper had set about instructing Zambai how to use the Dial; Luffy was playing around with Chimney and Gonbe while Kokoro looked on with amusement; Usopp, Nami, and Zoro were all inspecting their weapons—

I slapped myself in realization, that was way too close. Zoro would have had my head if I forgot that. "Zoro!" I called.

The swordsman looked up, and I called Shu's description to mind. "If things still go straight to pot, there's going to be a Marine that you'll need to watch out for. He wears a white turban and a veil over his mouth."

Zoro cocked an eyebrow at me. "And I should care about this guy why? Is he a swordsman?"

"Nope," I popped out a thumbs-down. "He's the anti-swordsman. The bastard ate the Rust-Rust Fruit. If you're not careful, Yubashiri'll be suffering an ignoble death, and Tashigi will blame you for it."

Zoro paled as he snapped his hand into a death-grip on the katana's hilt. "Desert clothes, keep my distance, got it, thanks."

"Damn straight," I nodded confidently before moving on. Galley-La was waiting quietly, even Tilestone, Lassoo was snoozing, the TDWS was checking their weapons too, and shooting annoyed glances at Mikey as he kept spinning his pistols around. Unloaded, thankfully, but still. And last but not least, Carue was sitting in a corner by Vivi, who was—

Immediately I headed towards her, moving slowly but with purpose. Carue saw me approaching from where he was surreptitiously watching over the princess, but after a moment's hesitation, he elected to look away and tug his beanie down over his eyes.

Vivi, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice. Rather, she was too engrossed with fondling her necklace, turning the intricate metal ball on the end of the chain in her fingers over and over again. She only noticed me when I cleared my throat, standing right in front of her. She jumped, and her eyes darted around in a futile search for an escape route for a second, then she sighed and looked up at me in defeat.

"…No way out this time, is there?" she asked quietly.

"Hey hey hey," I spread my hands in a show of harmlessness as I sank to sit beside her. "This is entirely your choice. If you just don't feel like giving all of the details—"

"N-No, it's fine," Vivi interrupted with a raised hand. "I… I may as well, if only because this…" She held up the orb for me to see. "If this isn't the right time to use it, there won't be a right time ever." She drew the necklace back and looked it over with a gaze of longing familiarity. "This… it's known as a Sirocco charm-container. It's an ancient heirloom of the Nefertari family, passed down through the generations and designed for a sole purpose: to provide an influx of strength to its holder in the hour of their utmost need."

I nodded in understanding. "Makes sense, seems like the kind of thing that thing would be either a weapon or something else designed to help keep you alive considering how A, your father gave it to you when you were leaving for the pirate life and B, I've seen you all but strangling that thing whenever things started getting dire." I looked upwards thoughtfully. "But, that doesn't answer what's in it, does it…" I glanced down at it as a thought struck me. "It… It's not something gruesome like… what, the souls of your ancestors or something, is it?"

Vivi affixed me with a flat look—

THWACK!

"OW!"

—before flicking me in the forehead without warning.

"You've read way too many comic books, Cross," she deadpanned.

I gave her my own look in turn. "Remind me, my obsession has saved our hides how many times now?"

Vivi hesitated for a moment before sighing and hanging her head in defeat. She maintained her stance for a moment before glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. "How much knowledge do you have on the Royal Guardians of Alabasta?"

"Eh…" I blinked in confusion. "Chaka and Pell, right? The Jackal and the Falcon, ancient protectors of the nation and the royal family. Though…" I frowned in confusion. "How the hell you manage to keep control of their powers once they pass on is a mystery to me."

"It's… not as hard as you'd think, really," Vivi shrugged indifferently. "Alabasta has a lot of national treasures, and it's had them for several generations, probably even as far back as the Blank Century itself. Among these treasures are our Devil Fruits. The Jackal and Falcon fruits don't belong to Chaka and Pell by coincidence; the vault in the third storage room is filled with green beans and plums to make sure that when the fruits reincarnate, they end up there."

I shrugged matter-of-factly. "Makes sense to me. Though…" I trailed off as I glanced at her. "I fail to see how this is in any way related to that."

Vivi paused for a moment before tilting her head to shoot me a wry smile. "Cross… the Nefertari's are descendants of one of the ancient Twenty Kings. We are World Nobles in all but name, and our nation is absolutely massive."

"Yeah, so?"

She slowly tilted her head to the side. "So, why would we only have two Royal Guardians?"

I stiffened as the implications of what she was saying hit me like a ton of bricks. "…How many?"

Vivi shrugged slightly as she looked forward again, her grin gaining a wistful overtone. "Six in all. Two Zoan, two Paramecia, and two Logia, so as to cover our bases. In ancient times, they were the pride and joy of our nation, defending us from all manner of threat, big and small alike!"

It was… really something to see Vivi recount her story. The way she lit up and gazed at something beautiful only she could see… it was clear that this tale was very near and dear to her.

"However…" But all too soon, her smile became melancholy, and her expression sad. "Time is cruel beyond all belief, and it stole our Guardians from us one by one. The Grace slid under time's sands like so many of our monuments and vanished before we even knew what had happened, and later on, two more were stolen in quick succession during periods of civil unrest and upheaval: the Rage…" Her hands snapped into a fist. "And the Desert."

I widened my eyes in surprise. "…ah. Sooo… that whole 'Sir' Crocodile bit…?"

"More than him just taking out a few pirate crews that decided to attack us," the princess growled, glaring daggers at thin air. "That bastard… he actually brought us hope. He returned one of our national treasures, our pride and joy…" She dug her fingers into her arms. "And then he turned it against us, and stole it for the rest of his natural life."

I started to consider ways to placate her when I felt something tap my neck. I glanced down and caught sight of Soundbite, who proceeded to mouth something to—!

Once again realization hit me, and once again I looked over at Vivi, only this time I was very intently focused on her necklace. "Vivi…" I whispered. "You said that the Grace was lost and the Rage and Desert were stolen, right?" I didn't even wait for her to nod. "And… seeing as the Desert is currently in Impel Down, Pell and Chaka are still in Alubarna, and I'm assuming that the Rage and Grace are both Paramecia, going how the names have all been pretty self-explanatory…" I swallowed heavily. "Just… what kind of a Logia do you have in your necklace?"

Vivi smiled grimly as she held the metal orb up. "I didn't expect anything less. This is the Storm of Alabasta, more commonly renowned as the Logia-type Gust-Gust Fruit… which takes the form of a pomegranate."

I frowned for a few seconds, trying to work out why that was relevant. Then the penny dropped, along with my jaw.

"An aril…" I breathed.

Soundbite looked between us in confusion. "Uh…?"

"Ah, it's a name for pomegranate seeds," I explained before adopting a defensive expression at his incredulous look. "I like Greek Mythology and I saw the term when I was reading the tale of Persephone!"

"Nerd…" Soundbite scoffed before refocusing. "But what good DOES THAT—?"

"You don't need to eat the whole Devil Fruit, Soundbite," Vivi cut in. "Only a single bite is needed, however small, and any part of a fruit contains as much power as the whole until someone eats it."

I shot Soundbite a look as I tracked his logic. "Are you really telling me you ate that whole coconut before you realized you had powers, even after you realized it tasted rancid?"

"I was a lone snail IN A DAMN JUNGLE! I ATE MY food whenever it came TO ME, NO MATTER THE TASTE! Sue me!"

"Anyway," Vivi coughed, bringing our attention back to her. "Assuming that the vault that the main mass of the Gust-Gust Fruit is in hasn't been compromised—and considering how that thing was built to last for centuries, I doubt that it has—" She shook her necklace. "Then what I have here is an active Devil Fruit, just waiting to be eaten. It might look solid, but Father told me how to open it before we left. He said…" Vivi sniffed, visibly fighting against tears at this point. "He… He said that considering the sheer scale of the Grand Line, of the world we live in, that there was no question in his mind that I'd have to eat it one day, for one reason or another, but he also suggested that I wait until it was absolutely necessary. And all things considered…"

Vivi looked up and stared at nothing, deep-seated fear and horror lurking in her eyes. "Well… honestly, what is there to consider? We're going up against Enies Lobby. The Judicial Island, seat of the World Government, if not the Government itself…" She shuddered, her arms coming up to grasp themselves. "We are going to need every inch of power we can possibly get our hands on. And if I can contribute, in any way, if my help can help keep our crewmates alive for even a second longer—!"

"Hey hey hey!" I cut in, interrupting her as her voice started to take on a tone of mania. "Calm down, you're starting to panic! Just… alright, first? Look around at everyone else, and tell me what you see."

Vivi slowly raised her head and looked at everyone else in the cabin for a moment before blinking at me in confusion. "I… what am I supposed to be seeing here, Cross? Everyone's acting normal!"

"Exactly," I said. "Nobody, not Chopper, not Nami, not even Usopp, is making a big deal out of what we're about to do. They're not panicking and they're not freaking out, and you know why?" I tapped her necklace before she could have a chance to respond. "Because they don't have this hanging over their heads. You're agonizing because you think you're standing at an irreversible crossroad of your life, but while it might be approaching, you haven't reached it yet. Enies…" I grimaced as I considered the events to come. "Enies is gonna be nuts, yes, but it's not guaranteed to be a complete clusterfuck. You still have time. Gaining your powers will be a monumental event in your life, and you should only go through with it when you feel it's right, not when you feel forced to do it. Otherwise, well…" I spread my hands helplessly. "You'll just end up regretting it for the rest of your life."

Vivi started to nod in acceptance before pausing and giving me a suspicious look. "Did you just bastardize 'the talk'?"

I opened my mouth to deny her, and promptly grimaced as I reran my words through my head. "Good grief, I actually did. My apologies, no person should ever have to have that conversation twice. But ah, still, to ram my point home and alleviate some of your stress…"

I pointed at her necklace. "Let me tell you about an unspoken law concerning Devil Fruits. Now, I'm not certain how widespread this is in the pirate world, but considering how the Roger Pirates abided by it and the Whitebeards still abide by it, I'd say it's a pretty common policy: where possession is usually nine-tenths of the law, it becomes a full ten-tenths when it comes to Devil Fruits. What a crewmate does with a Devil Fruit they've acquired is entirely up to them. Eat it, sell it, gift it, even toss it, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what they want, and no one and nothing, maybe not even the captain himself, can say otherwise. Although…" I snickered as I tilted my head so that I could gaze at where Luffy was perched on the Sea Train's nose. "In our case, I'd say any dangers of that are rather moot, no?"

Vivi managed to chuckle at that. Then she smiled gratefully, releasing the necklace. "Thank you, Cross. That… That helped a lot."

"Anytime. But, ah… out of curiosity, what are those two Paramecia fruits?"

Vivi shrugged. "The Grace is the Cloth-Cloth Fruit, which allows its user to control whatever cloth they touch—much more effective than it sounds, believe me—!"

"Oh, no, don't worry, I'm sure it's earned its reputation," I assured.

Vivi nodded. "And the Rage is the Hot-Hot Fruit—"

I blinked in recognition. "Which lets you control thermal energy, so that a person can burn people just with their mere presence!?"

Vivi and Carue suddenly snapped forward and grabbed my collar, all but shoving their faces in mine. "You know where it is?" they demanded.

"Grgh, maybe, maybe I know where it is!" I hedged frantically. "I-It's like what happened with Navarone, it's a story that's not a part of the original one! But ah, yeah, if it works out that way, then we should be meeting its user not long after we leave Water 7."

"Please tell me that he's despicable enough that I can kill him without any regrets," Vivi hissed desperately.

"Eh…" I waved my hand side to side hesitantly. "Heeee's on the borderline. Utter sadist to his enemies… and a good father to his children."

Vivi processed that and plopped back down, a grimace on her face. "Fuck. Ugh… think he'd be willing to move to Alabasta for an extravagant bribe?"

"Weeell," I looked upwards thoughtfully. "He is a bounty hunter… and I suppose that if enough pirate ships attack Alabasta on a regular basis—!"

"Puru puru puru puru!"

"Eh?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by Soundbite suddenly ringing. I gave Vivi an apologetic shrug before motioning for him to answer.

"KA-LICK! So, Cross, are you finished with your attempted suicides, or should I call back later?" Tashigi ground out without preamble.

"Please, compared to Kaido, I might as well be a safety nut," I chuckled dryly, before hastily sobering up. "But yeah, let's get down to business and not a word about Huns!" I snapped, causing Soundbite to chuckle sheepishly. I then refocused my gaze. "Anyways… I've been working for you for a while, Fishstick, now it's time for you to pay it back."

"Huh?"

"I need you to help me make a call."

-o-​

Boss grimaced ferociously as he finally reached the window where he could see the crew's archaeologist, hunched over and looking at nothing. In any other situation, he'd have been concerned with how dead to the world she looked, but given the disproportionate amount of effort that it had taken to get there, he was right out of sympathy. And so, without any preamble, he scrabbled with the edge of the window, flung it open, and the next moment found him dropping onto the seat across from Robin, his rope-dart snapping the window shut behind him.

The archaeologist blinked at him in surprise for a second and Boss gnashed his teeth.

[What the hell were you thinking, turning yourself in like that!? Did you seriously expect us to… not… follow… aaaand you can't understand a word I'm saying because that damn snail's nowhere nearby, right…] the Dugong trailed off flatly as he ground his flipper into his forehead. Rolling his eyes, he began moving his flippers in a well-practiced pattern that he had dusted off in his free time since joining the crew.

{I'm assuming a genius like you knows Grand Line Standard Sign Language?} he asked.

Robin blinked again in surprise. "I'm surprised that you do, Mister Dugong," she said at last.

{I'm a Dugong of many talents.} Boss's flat expression did wonders to communicate his deadpan tone. {Now, to pick up where I left off…} He scowled indignantly. {What the hell do you think you're doing!? Did you honestly think we wouldn't chase you, that we wouldn't fight tooth and nail!? Because if you did think we wouldn't, you're an idjit and that's insulting, and if you did think we'd come, then this is all just insane!}

Robin grimaced at that, pointedly not looking Boss in the eyes. "I-I didn't have a choice, Mister Dugong. I-If I'd stayed with you all, then you would have been killed. The Government—!"

{Fuck the Government!} Boss enunciated with a violent slash of his arms. {In case you've missed the memo, lady, we're pirates, we—!}

The Dugong was cut off by the sound of the door to the car creaking open, which prompted him to leap forwards into Robin's lap and slide his rope-dart under her seat before going limp, his tongue half-stuck out of his mouth.

The archaeologist only had a second to blink at him in surprised confusion before the Government agent reached her seat.

"Just checking up on y—!" the agent started to say before tensing and snapping a hand to his belt. "What the heck is that?"

Thanks to her years of practice, Robin didn't even miss a beat as she hoisted Boss's limp form by his shoulders and held him out. "A Dugong doll. I found it beneath a seat. Most likely a child lost it and your comrades missed it when they swept the car earlier. I thought it was cute, so I held onto it. Will that be an issue?"

The agent eyed her skeptically for a second before leaning in to look Boss over. He slowly inspected him up and down, scrutinizing every detail he could find. Finally, the agent raised his finger and poked the Dugong's fuzzy upper lip—

Ppphhbbbt!

—which caused the agent and Robin to jump in shock on account of the farting sound that came from Boss's mouth as a result.

Robin swiftly recovered as she retracted Boss into her lap. "I was unaware that he was capable of that. Thank you, I'm sure it'll be amusing while I wait for us to arrive."

The agent snorted as he removed his hand from his belt and started walking away. "Whatever floats your boat, I guess."

The two pirates remained silent until the car door shut, at which point Boss leaped out of her lap, retrieved his rope-dart, and settled into the opposite seat again before facing her with a paper-flat expression. {You owe me so much it's not even remotely funny.}

Robin's expression soured at that. "I'm afraid that I won't be free to repay you any time in the near future, Mister—"

{Cut the 'Mister' crap!} Boss all but slammed his flippers together as he signed. {We are friends, damn it, not friendly acquaintances! Now drop the ice queen act and be straight with me!} He leveled a glare equal parts scrutiny and rage at Robin. {Why did you leave? Why did you refuse to trust in our strength?! The Straw Hats beat Crocodile, we beat God—!}

"And compared to the World Government, those two were nothing!" Robin spat viciously, her frustration with the Dugong shattering her mask. "You're just one crew of pirates! Extraordinary compared to most, but you number barely over a dozen, whereas the World Government's resources and troops are infinite! They have acted as a global monolith for nearly eight hundred years, unflinching, unimpeded, undefeatable!" The wind drained out of Robin's sails as she seemed to shrink in on herself. "I've seen what happens when someone is caught trying to defy the World Government's command… the sheer force they can bring to bear…"

{That doesn't matter to us!} Boss insisted. {However many troops they send, we'll fight back! However hard they come at us, we'll come back twice as tough! We'll fight to the bitter end, Robin, and we won't stop fighting even a second before then!}

"They tried to fight back too…"

Robin's words caused Boss to pause in his signing as he stared at her in shock. In the span of a few moments, she'd… changed. In place of her heat and iron was… terror. Pure, undiluted fear and horror, shining like beacons in her eyes as she shuddered in place.

"They fought…" she whispered, though Boss wasn't entirely certain she was speaking to him anymore. "They tried to fight back, so many of them did, but they crushed them all… they crushed him… They burned it all, destroyed it all, they reduced it all to ash…" She shook her head desperately. "I can't… I can't watch that happen… not again… never again..."

Before Boss's horrified gaze, Robin slowly curled in on herself in an effort to make herself smaller, drawing her knees to her chest and hugging them tightly as she buried her face in her knees. Then…

"Dereshi… dereshishishi… dereshishishi…"

She started laughing even as she cried. It sounded… odd, like it belonged to someone else, but it was completely and utterly drowned in grief. Boss shivered as the sound froze the blood in his veins, but he hastily recovered and closed the distance between them, rapping his fist against her skull. [Wake up, damn it!]

Robin jerked at the blow, and while she didn't uncurl from her position, she at least stopped that… laughing.

She remained frozen for a moment before slowly tilting her head so that a single eye gazed at Boss, her expression utterly inscrutable.

"I'm glad that you're the one who came to speak to me, Boss," she said in a voice devoid of emotion.

The Dugong tensed as an uneasy feeling came over him. {And… why is that, exactly?}

"Simple."

In an instant, a quartet of arms snapped out of Boss's torso and wrapped around his body, effectively paralyzing his flippers while another pair wrenched the window open.

"Because I doubt anyone else would be able to survive this."

Boss's complexion took on a distinctly blue overtone. [Oh, you have got to be kidding—!]

And without further ado Robin tossed him out the window, slamming it shut behind him.

A minute later, the agent from earlier entered the car again and blinked in surprise. "The heck—? What happened to that doll you had earlier?"

Robin gave the agent a disinterested glance before returning to staring out at the storm raging around them. "I outgrew it."

The agent rolled his eyes and prepared to leave.

"Ah, and before I forget," Robin spoke up, turning a bored eye to him. "If you would be so kind as to call in one of the Cipher Pol agents? I need to have a word with them."

-o-​

Sanji growled viciously as he glared daggers at the 'member' of Cipher Pol 9 standing just out of his range. "Enough of this…" he bit out. "You've wasted enough of my time as is. Robin-chwan needs her prince charming, and I intend to be there for her! I'm ending this, right here…" He drew one of his feet back and tensed it. "Right now! APERI—!"

Without any warning, a blur shot over the edge of the train car, grabbing both of the combatants' attention.

Nero blinked in confusion. "The heck—?"

CRUNCH!

That was all he got out before Boss—hanging onto the end of his rope dart, the 'dart' hooked onto the edge of the roof—swung into his face tail-first, launching him off the Tom and into the raging waters of the ocean before he could even react.

Sanji blinked in surprise before slowly lowering his leg. "Well, that was certainly anti-climactic," he muttered, then snapped his focus to Boss as he finished reeling his weapon in. "And what are you even doing here?! You were supposed to be making your way to Robin-chwan!"

[I did get to Robin! That bitch threw me—!] Boss cut his indignant squeaking off with a snarl as he hastily swapped to indignant signing. {That bitch threw me out of a train!}

"Hey, don't talk about Robin-Chwan that way!" Sanji snapped in a heated tone.

{I'LL TALK ABOUT HER HOWEVER I DAMN WELL CHOOSE, SHE THREW ME OUT OF A SPEEDING TRAIN!}

"AS IF THAT COULD ACTUALLY HURT YOU!"

Boss paused before continuing at a more sedate pace. {Well… yeah, but it's the principle of the matter, you know?}

Sanji ground his cigarette between his teeth before huffing out a sigh. "Just… come on, let's go," he ground out, stepping forward.

{Lead on.}

As they were moving on to the next car, Boss shot Sanji a quizzical look. {By the way, I didn't honestly expect much of anyone else besides the crew's obvious suspects to know sign language. There a story behind that?}

Beneath his ever-present bang, Sanji's hidden eye twitched. Outwardly, however, he kept his cool and shrugged. "Not really. We had deaf customers at the Baratie now and then; after I butchered my first time taking their orders, the old geezer I worked for made sure it wouldn't happen again. It was a bit annoying, yes, but you'd be amazed how many ladies are impressed by an educated—"

Without any warning, the two suddenly snapped so that they were back-to-back.

"Did you hear something?" Sanji asked, his unobstructed eye practically on a swivel.

{Yeah, the storm covered it up but it sounded famili—wait, now I remember!} Boss slapped a fin to his head. {'Course, that was the sound of a door… un… locking…}

The two looked down nervously. "Uh-oh…"/[Uh-oh...]

Before they could even so much as think of reacting, the roof opened beneath them and they fell into the car below. They didn't land on their faces, their scant forewarning made sure of that, but they did land in the midst of all four of CP9's thoroughly unimpressed agents, with Robin standing behind them.

Boss took a moment to glance around at their surroundings before giving Sanji a flat look. {Now can I be pissed at her?}

"… Maybe a little," the cook reluctantly conceded.

-o-​

"Oh, yeah, is that right?!" I bellowed at the person on the other end of Soundbite's connection. "Well, you know what, screw you!" And with that I jerked my hand across my neck, prompting my snail to cut the connection.

"Cross—!" Vivi started to speak up, but I silenced her with a raised finger.

We waited in silence for a few seconds…

"Puru puru puru-KA-LICK!"

Until Soundbite started ringing again, at which point I picked up again with an innocent smile. "Yeeeeees?" I purred.

"…539-263-678."

Soundbite nodded confidently, prompting me to widen my grin. "Thaaank yoooou."

"Get bent. KA-LICK!"

I shot a grin at Vivi. "And that is how it's done."

"…Impressive," the princess conceded.

"Thank you, come again," Soundbite chortled.

"Oh, no, not that farce," Vivi scoffed. "Honestly, that was some of the most ham-handed 'negotiating' I've ever seen."

"Hilarious," I drawled with a flat look.

"No, what I'm referring to is how quickly you managed to rile her up. Usually, Valentine manages to keep her head in the name of pissing off others, but you managed to make her blow her top. That's impressive."

I promptly adopted a proud smile. "What can I say, it's a God-given gift!"

"Still…" Vivi eyed Soundbite curiously. "How'd you know she'd call you back?"

My grin took on a cocky overtone. "I banked on her volume getting Bartolomeo's attention. She might hate my guts, but he likes us and he doesn't take disrespect lightly. There wasn't any possible scenario where I wasn't getting that number."

"Huh…" Vivi shrugged slightly. "Alright, so maybe I'm a bit more impressed. So, are you going to call that number now?"

"COULDN'T EVEN IF WE WANTED TO!" Soundbite replied before I could. "No Transceiver, no broadcasting boost. I NEED IT TO MAKE INTERNATIONAL CALLS!"

"Unfortunate," I conceded. "But with any luck, the away team will bring it back with them and we'll be back in business before we reach Enies, so I'll be able to enact the next stage of what I've got planned."

"Cawe tah shawe just what this pwan of yours ish?" Carue asked in a doubtful tone.

"Mmm…" I hummed contemplatively as I considered the question before smiling innocently. "Nah! I think I'll keep it a surprise for now!"

The supersonic duck slapped a wing to his face with an exasperated groan. "Aye dunno what I wath exshpecting…"

"Ngagagaga!" Kokoro chortled. "I wouldn't expect anything else from him."

Carue huffed.

"Well!" Vivi announced. "Now that it seems like the only thing we have left to do is wait, anyone up for a game of gin rummy?"

I made to respond—

"LOOK OUT! AQUA LAGUNA, DEAD AHEAD!"

—and instead grinned eagerly. "Sorry, some other time. Right now, I'm much more interested in watching the kick-ass show that's about to happen! LUFFY! ZORO!" I called out, grabbing the attention of the two Monsters with us. "You're up! And for names, I suggest rounding it up to Three Hundred Pounds!"

"Right," the two nodded as they marched out to the engine.

I looked around at the rest of our crewmates. "Anyone else want in on this?"

"Eh…" Chopper tilted his head thoughtfully for a moment before shaking it in denial. "I better not. Sure, it'd be a great way to test my latest formula, but I think it'd be better to wait until we hit the Lobby proper."

"Ditto," Usopp concurred.

The TDWS looked at Leo, who was sporting an uncomfortable grimace. "I would, but the fact is that I'm still sandbagging whenever Zoro can see me so that he doesn't crush me like a seashell."

"And I honestly do not have the firepower, so I'm right out, too," Lassoo muttered before rolling over and going back to sleep.

"Suit yourselves!" I shrugged as I jogged up to the engine. "But still, I suggest you guys keep an eye out! Things are about to get e~pi~c!"

With that, I ran out into the Rocketman's engine cabin, got a firm grip on a railing as I hung myself out the window… and promptly found myself at a loss for words.

"Hooooooly shit!"

"DAMN STRAIGHT!"

Well, any intelligent words, anyway, but honestly, it wasn't like it was my fault.

Aqua Laguna… geeze, where to even begin?

I… I suppose that the closest approximation that I can think of would be to call it an elemental variation of the Red Line. Where the Red Line replaced the horizon with pure stone, Aqua Laguna replaced it with water. Innumerable metric tons—not even gallons, tons—of ocean, rising up and rushing at us almost as fast as we were rushing at it. It could even be defined as grander, because unlike the Red Line, which held a majestic silence, Aqua Laguna came at us with an almighty roar that dwarfed any Sea King I'd ever heard in my life.

The simplest way to summarize it?

"I think we might have a few too many Devil Fruit users on board," I whispered around my face-splitting grin. "Because holy hell is the ocean fucking pissed off at us!"

"YA GOT THAT right, sonny boy!" Soundbite cackled eagerly.

"ALL HANDS, PREPARE TO FIRE! HURRY, OR ELSE IT'S GOING TO SWALLOW US WHOLE!"

However, it seemed like the Franky Family didn't quite share my enthusiasm for the wonders that our ever-abusive Mother Nature had to offer.

I snapped my fingers at Soundbite before twisting my head to look back at the Frankys' trailer home. "BELAY THAT!" I bellowed out. "I TOLD YOU BEFORE, DON'T SHOOT AT THE WAVE! YOU'LL JUST BURN AMMUNITION FOR NOTHING!"

"WHAT!?" Zambai shouted back incredulously. "BUT IF OUR GUNS ARE USELESS, THEN HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH THIS DAMN THING!?"

"EASY! WE USE THE ONE THING BETTER THAN ANY NUMBER OF GUNS AND CANNONS!"

"Gum-Gum—!"

"Three-Hundred Caliber—!

I snapped my focus back to the wave, my grin going from ear to ear and looking no doubt utterly demented. "A pissed-off Luffy and Zoro working in tandem. Now, START TAKING PICTURES!"

"CANNON!"

I honestly think that the most impressive part of the attack wasn't the sound, but rather the sudden absence of sound that followed the attack. The roar of Rocket Man, the roar of Laguna, the roar of the storm—hell, there wasn't even a storm at this point, the sheer force of the cannon had blasted away all of the rain around us!

It really just went to show: Mother Nature was strong, sure… but we pirates, who braved her wrath on a daily basis for the fun of it? We outclassed her by a complete and utter factor. And that was clear for the duration of the time that Rocketman… well, rocketed along the track through the watery tunnel, split like the Red Sea all around us until, at last, we emerged on the other side.

Of course, the silence couldn't last forever, and this one broke at the sound of Zambai crying out in tearful euphoria. "WE SURVIVED!" he cheered. "WE ACTUALLY BEAT AQUA LAGUNA!"

"It's a good thing that we made friends with them, huh, Mozu?" Kiwi muttered from where she was staring out of the car. She then paused and glanced back at her sister before starting in shock when she caught sight of the green hue she'd adopted. "Mozu!?"

The other square sister shuddered in terror. "I-If it weren't for the SBS, the Straw Hats would have just been another pirate crew coming into Water 7… and then Zambai and his guys would have—!"

Kiwi paled in horror as she followed her sibling's logic. "So glad that we made friends with them," she repeated in a far more sickly tone.

I chuckled in amusement as I slid back to safety and started to walk back into the car—

"Why do you need our help?"

—before pausing as Paulie stepped in front of me, looking pensive and slightly confused.

"Not," he held his hand up placatingly. "That we wouldn't come anyway, we all want our pounds of flesh, but I'm just curious is all. Try and clear this up for me: why do you need our help when you guys are so strong already?"

I took a second to ponder that before shrugging indifferently. "Because strong as we are, Enies Lobby is a World Government installation garrisoned with several thousand troops. We need your help to take them down because we can't handle an army on our own yet."

Paulie considered that for a second before nodding in understanding. "Yeah, alright, that's fair."

I nodded and continued walking away, then grinned when I heard Paulie choke behind me.

"Wait… 'yet'!?"

"We gon' be BADASSES?" Soundbite giggled ecstatically.

"Such badasses," I confirmed gleefully.

"But you already knew that."

Our attention was diverted to Nami, who was standing by the car door, a somewhat playful look on her face.

"After all, Wyvern," she nodded her head at me. "Managed to take down a whole ship of bounty hunters on his own, remember?"

"MMMYEAH," Soundbite hummed, nodding his head in agreement before grinning toothily. "BUT IT'S still nice to get confirmation, ya know?"

Nami rolled her eyes with an exasperated but nonetheless fond sigh. "Yeah, well, I guess…" She then focused her attention on me. "Still, speaking of confirmation, mind sharing what's coming up next?"

I glanced upward as I started to wrack my brains. However, I didn't get very far into my thoughts when Soundbite suddenly grinned eagerly.

"Oh oh oh, I GOT THIS ONE! Yo, T-Bone, how's the weather?"

"Rather horrible, I'm afraid, my dear Soundbite," T-Bone's groaning voice filtered throughout the car. "I'm soaked straight to the bone… though honestly, I suppose that's not saying much, is it?"

"Heh, skull-joke, nice!" I snickered.

"W-Wait, that's Captain T-Bone!?" Mozu yelped.

"That's not good!" Kiwi cried in panic. "That man's known as the Ship-Slasher! He's a Captain straight from HQ with a reputation for dismantling pirate ships with his blade alone, carving them apart like steaks! He's going to cut us to pieces!"

There was a brief instant of silence before Soundbite frowned grimly. "You're transmitting me to the whole of the train you pulled out of nowhere?" he asked testily.

"Ah, keep your shirt on and let me handle this," I scoffed, rolling my eyes before raising my voice. "Alright, listen up everyone! Yes, that is Captain T-Bone of Marine HQ, but do not worry. He's an ally of ours and he's not going to hack us to pieces. Don't worry, we're safe. Just make sure not to spread the fact that we do know him…" I grinned malefically. "Or else he really will hunt you down and hack you to pieces."

T-Bone sighed wearily as the non-Straw Hats in the car clamped their hands over their mouths. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't turn me into a boogeyman, Cross."

"But your face makes it so easy~!" I sang.

"Mmrph…" T-Bone grunted before his expression became solemn. "I'd also appreciate it if you didn't make promises that you can't keep."

I blinked in confusion. "Eh?"

Cold sweat suddenly started trailed down Soundbite's body. "AH, CROSS? I just noticed something. THERE ARE THREE TRAIN CARS FLOATING FREE UP AHEAD…" The trail of sweat evolved into a cascade. "But T-Bone's still on the tracks!"

"EH!?" I squawked in shock. "What-!? T-Bone, what the hell do you think you're playing at!?"

"I am truly sorry, Jeremiah Cross," T-Bone intoned in a voice not unlike a funeral dirge. "But I have no choice. So long as you and yours make for Enies Lobby, I have no other choice but to oppose you."

"Are you kidding me!?" I demanded, jerking Soundbite off my shoulder and into my palm so that I look him in the eye. "Then what the hell happened to MI5, huh, to defending justice, righteousness!? Was that all a lie!?"

"Do not mistake my intentions, Jeremiah!" the captain barked back with just as much heat. "This is not a matter of morality, your righteousness was never in question! This is a matter of strength! Strength of body, strength of will, strength of conviction, nothing more and nothing less!"

I balked in confusion, and Nami and I exchanged hesitant looks before she spoke up. "What… exactly are you talking about?"

T-Bone snorted grimly. "I am sorry, Miss Navigator, but Jeremiah Cross is an integral factor in our crusade! Like or not, whether we shall succeed or fail rests upon his survival! And now…" He bowed his head apologetically. "I am sympathetic to your plight, truly I am, but you now make for the lion's den at all speeds, and I… I cannot let you continue any further! At least…" He looked back up, and I swear to God I felt a paper cut on my finger just from that gaze. "Not without a test! RORONOA ZORO!" he suddenly roared at the top of his lungs. "I KNOW THAT YOU CAN HEAR ME! PRESENT YOURSELF AT ONCE!"

Soundbite provided Zoro's reaction from where he stood on the nose of the train, cocking his eyebrow flatly. "What do you want?" he asked.

T-Bone ground his teeth. "Roronoa, your crew's cause is just, but your destination is beyond perilous! As such, I have no choice but to test you all! The strength of your blade will determine whether or not you are truly worthy of continuing your quest, or if your endeavor was doomed from the start! FROM ONE SWORDSMAN TO ANOTHER, I CHALLENGE YOU! EARN YOUR RIGHT TO CONTINUE YOUR QUEST TO SAVE YOUR COMRADE OR RETURN FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!"

Zoro didn't even hesitate to grin savagely. "As if I would ever say—!"

"WAIT!"

Everyone looked around in surprise for a few seconds, at least, up until a Dugong clad in a blue bandanna strode forward.

"I'll take you on," Leo announced. Zoro had no audible reaction, but he may have been the only one who didn't. The rest of the TDWS were particularly vocal.

"Leo, what the hell—!?" Raphey spat.

"Dude, are you insane!?" Mikey squawked.

"Leo, if Boss finds out about this—!" Donny started to protest.

Leo weathered them all for a second with a clenched jaw—

"SHUUUT UUUP!"

Before throwing his head back and roaring at the top of his lungs, killing any remaining protests in their respective throats.

The Dugong huffed for a second as he got his breath back before speaking. "Now listen up, all of you," he snarled as he cast a glare about. "Let me make this clear… if Zoro fights that captain, right here and right now, then he will win, we will move on…" He jabbed his 'finger' at Soundbite. "And it will all mean absolutely nothing!"

T-Bone gave Leo a flat look. "What are you talking about, Dugong?"

"I'm talking about the fact that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link," Leo growled firmly. "Zoro can beat you, sure, but what will that prove, that one of our strongest is strong enough? No." He shook his head. "It would be utterly pointless! You want to duel with a swordsman? You want to see how strong we truly are? Then you'll fight me!" Leo slammed his fist into his chest before adopting a scowl. "And besides… this was my fight from the second you uttered your challenge."

He slapped his flipper on the floor of the car. "For the duration of this voyage, this Sea Train is our ship, and we Dugongs are the ships' guards! It is our duty to protect this train with all that we are, and all that we have to give! If I cannot stop you, if I cannot fulfill my duty…" Leo flung his fist out furiously. "THEN WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO CHALLENGE ENIES LOBBY!"

Stunned silence fell—or as silent as you could get in the middle of a storm like this—for the next half minute. Then Luffy broke it.

"Do you think you can win, Leo?" he asked seriously.

The Dugong jerked his head with an indignant snort. "I know I can,"

"Well, then, you'd better get up here, because I can see the Steak-Man!"

A pause, and then a chorus of facepalms rang out. Even Zoro could be heard slapping a hand on his face.

"We really should have seen that one coming," Usopp groused.

Nonetheless, Leo swiftly pulled himself together and nodded firmly. "I'm on my way." With that, he leaped to a window—

"…go, Leo, go…"

And paused when a soft voice sounded out. He twisted his head around to stare at the source.

Mikey met Leo's gaze before slowly pumping his fist and speaking again. "Go, Leo, go," he repeated solemnly.

Raphey and Donny gaped at Mikey for a second before glancing at one another and then gaining determined expressions of their own. "Go, Leo, go," they chorused with Mikey, pumping their fists in synch with him.

Chopper, Usopp, and Carue joined in for the next round. "Go, Leo, go."

The Square Sisters entered on the next, adding a degree of energy to the cheer. "Go, Leo, go!"

Then came the Galley-La employees, with Tilestone's bellowing amping it up by another factor. "Go, Leo, go!"

And finally, the Franky Family as a whole joined their voices to the chorus, turning it into a straight-up roar. "GO, LEO, GO! GO, LEO, GO! GO, LEO, GO!"

Nami winced and dug a finger into her ear. "Good grief, they're loud…" she mumbled.

"Gotta admit it's pretty epic, though, right?" I said.

Our navigator allowed the corner of her lips to quirk up. "Well, I never said that it wasn't…"

I chuckled a bit before turning my attention to Leo, who was still balancing in the window, and I couldn't help but feel my heart swell at the sight of the tears shining in his eyes. Sadly, I only got a glimpse of them before he blinked them away in favor of a gaze of pure steel before flipping out of the window and up to the roof.

I cackled eagerly as I ripped my jacket's hood up and shoved Soundbite onto my shoulder. "Oh, no way in hell am I missing out on this!" And with that, I ran out between the engine and the car and climbed up onto the roof.

The sheer Gs of being on the roof of a speeding train? Insane.

The rain and seaspray whipping into me? Freezing as all hell.

The effort required to stay standing on the slick steel surface of the Rocketman without falling into the drink? Impossible if not for Zoro's training and the convenient smokestack to cling to.

The scene of complete and utter epicness arrayed before me?

Worth it in more ways than I can possibly describe.

"IS THIS ANOTHER OF YOUR MASTER'S ROMANCES, YOUNG DUGONG?" T-Bone roared over the raging of the ocean. Squinting ahead, I could barely make out his gaunt form on the tracks.

"NO!" Leo shouted back, tightening his bandana's knot as he balanced on Rocketman's nose. "TO DEFEND ONE'S HONOR AT ALL COSTS, AND TO PUT ONE'S LIFE ON THE LINE FOR THE SAKE OF ONE'S FRIENDS IS NOT A MATTER OF A MAN'S ROMANCE! RATHER!" In a flash of movement and steel, the Dugong drew his blades and slammed them together, one blade held horizontal before his face, while the other was twisted into a vertical position so that the blades formed a cross of steel. "IT IS A MATTER OF A MAN'S PRIDE!"

T-Bone snorted as he drew his blade up and positioned it horizontally over his brow. "SMOOTH SOARING BIRD: BONE…!"

Leo tensed even further. "Two-Sword Style..." He whispered to himself, audible only with Soundbite's aid.

The Captain uncoiled in a single smooth motion, sending a wave of pure force ripping through the air as it swooped and spun towards us at absolutely insane speeds. "PHOENIX!"

The Dugong swordsman stood firm even as the attack came ever closer, eyes squeezed shut and teeth grit…

Until the attack was a few feet away, at which point he snapped his eyes open… and they blazed.

"Cross of the Baptist."

In the space of an instant, Leo moved.

And in that same instant, T-Bone's attack was annihilated, and the Captain himself sent flying through the air, blood flying from both his slack jaws and the cross-shaped slash carved clear through his armor and into his chest.

I winced sympathetically even as I felt a surge of satisfaction.

"Brutal…" Soundbite whispered in awe.

Leo panted as he let his swords hang slack before drawing himself upright and slowly spinning his blades into his sheathes. "Thank you, Captain T-Bone…" he whispered breathlessly before sliding his blades the rest of the way in. "For justifying my position on this crew."

CLONK!

"YEOW!" Leo snapped his flippers to his skull when Luffy and Zoro rapped their fists over it. "WHAT THE HELL, BASTARDS!"

"That was for doubting your right to be on my crew!" Luffy snorted indignantly.

"And for holding back," Zoro added, paralyzing the Dugong with his frigid glare. "When this is all said and done, we're going at it on Water 7 and we're not stopping until you've given me everything you've got. Got it?"

The only response Leo could muster was a pained whimper.

I chuckled as I watched Leo shrink back from Zoro before sliding back down to the engine and car coupling. Well, that was sufficiently epic. Now, to get out of these sopping-soaked clothes and—!

I paused midway through taking my hat off and stared thoughtfully at it for a second before grinning madly and running into the car.

"Hey, Usopp!" I called out, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Got a rush job for you, priority one, ASAP!"

-o-​

"Alright, beret girl," Franky said, cracking his knuckles. "Are you ready?"

"You keep asking that question. I'm starting to wonder if it means what you think it means," Conis dryly replied.

The cyborg cocked an eyebrow in interest. "Huh. Sarcasm. I didn't think a sweet girl like you had it in her."

Conis pointedly spun one of her pistols around her finger. "I'm a trained commando armed to the teeth who has a fox as a companion. I've got it in me, I just keep it buried."

"Su su~!" Su yipped proudly.

Franky shrugged as he flipped his palm open. "Fair enough. Alright, go in three."

Conis spun to face the door and raised her leg. "Three."

SMASH!

The door shot out of its frame like a cannon... and only got a scant few feet before being reduced to sawdust.

Franky and Conis darted into the car behind the door, and they had their weapons up and ready just as the cloud was starting to settle.

When the dust cleared, it revealed that all four Cipher Pol agents ready and waiting with guns in hand and aimed at the pirates, with Robin standing in the corner behind them.

All in all, it was a perfectly textbook Mexican standoff… save for a single detail.

"Why are you all pointing your guns at me?" Conis protested in a tone that was dangerously close to a whine, in spite of nearly a half-dozen firearms being pointed at varying parts of her body.

"Because Franky's bulletproof," Kaku deadpanned.

"SUPER bulletproof, square-nose!" Franky barked with an indignant scowl. "Tsk, you never did say it right…"

"Well, while we're being honest, I'd like to throw my own hat in the ring," Kalifa spoke up. "Do us all a favor and get over that mountain you call an ego, you puffed-up gorilla."

Franky glowered for a second more before smirking wryly. "Y'know, maybe you should take Cross's advice and try being more bubbly," he remarked.

Kalifa looked as though she'd bitten into a lemon… or a Devil Fruit. "I would sooner kiss that bastard than take his advice."

Kaku smirked slightly. "I'll second—!"

"Enough."

Kalifa and Kaku's expressions wiped themselves clean as Lucci's voice all but whipped through the air.

The lead agent eyed the two pirates. "Surrender now and you will be taken in alive. Resist, and you will be terminated."

Franky scoffed as he cracked his head to the side. "Two things. A: if Cross was right about even one layer of Impel Down—and there is a SUPER amount of evidence to support that!—then death is better than being taken alive. And B: those Iron Bodies of yours are pretty SUPER, sure, I know that better than anyone…" Franky grinned malevolently as he raised his scope to his eyeline and twisted his wrist, causing the scope's focus to zero in. "But one flaw I couldn't ever fix in me were the eyes. You guys have any better luck?"

Kaku, Kalifa, and Blueno flinched infinitesimally, all of them instinctively snapping one of their eyes shut.

Lucci, however, remained entirely unfazed as he stared down Franky's barrel. "I would advise against such a course of action."

"And why would that be?" Conis asked testily as she alternated her targets.

"Because if you should harm any of us…" Lucci stepped aside, and Conis and Franky tensed at the sight that was revealed. "Then these two will die."

Boss and Sanji were lying prone on the ground, each held down by a dozen autonomous arms and both with a significant number of the limbs wrapped around their necks.

"Sorry, my dear Conis," Sanji wept somewhat dramatically. "We ran into something of a snag."

[Snag nothing!] Boss barked indignantly. [What we ran into is a hostile fucking host—GRK!] The Dugong was cut off by a foot stamping his face into the carpet.

"Be quiet," Kalifa ordered.

"What happened to Robin's condition to not go after any of us?" Conis growled.

"You're the ones who came after us. Therefore, your argument is irrelevant," Blueno replied tonelessly.

"And they won't harm you if you just go!" Robin insisted with more than a little desperation. "Just leave me! This is my choice! If you all were to sacrifice yourselves for my sake, then my life…" She hugged herself with a desperate shudder. "Then my life would have no meaning…"

"As Straw Hat would say, for someone so smart, you're really stupid, Nico Robin," Franky said.

Robin was silent for a moment before smiling tearfully. "And as Cross would no doubt say… love and fear make people do stupid things."

"Enough with the semantics." Lucci's voice chopped through the conversation like a guillotine. "For now, it would seem as though we are at an impasse."

Silence fell for a single second before Robin spoke again, her head bowed. "Please just leave. You'll be safe if you just do the right thing and leave me," she begged.

Conis shook her head. "I'm sorry, Robin, but we can't do—"

Clink-clink!

All noise in the car stopped as the tinkling sound of glass drew everyone's attention to the center of the room, where a smoking vial was rolling to a halt.

"Su su~!" Su announced triumphantly as she spread her paws in the closest approximation to peace signs she could manage.

Rob Lucci scowled darkly. "Oh, you little—!"

FWOOM!

The pink smokescreen that exploded into the car a moment later drowned out the remainder of Lucci's words, along with the barrage of gunfire that blasted out as everyone fired their guns at once.

"Damn it, I can't see worth shit!"

"Stop them, now!"

"Easy for you to say, not all of us are Zoans!"

"Gah, who just bit me!?"

[My bad!]

"Agh! No, let go of me!"

"I got her! Now come on, let's get out of here! 1.5 COLA! COUP DE—!"

"Look out, he's going to use—!"

"BOO!"

PPPHHBBBT!

"OH, THAT IS RANK! WHAT THE HELL, FRANKY!?"

"Ugh… fuck this, I need a smoke."

"NO, WAIT, DON'T—!"

CLI—KA-BOOM!

The resultant explosion blasted the train car in half, launching the Cipher Pol agents into the half still attached to the train engine, while the Straw Hats landed in the other half.

"I'm sorry, Sanji…" Conis groaned as she lifted her dust-clogged goggles from her eyes. "But that was not your brightest moment."

"In my defense…" the cook pointed into the air with a slight slur. "I might or might not have gotten kicked in the head a few times. And it's also all Franky's fault."

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" the Cyborg scoffed as he stood up. He then grinned triumphantly as he realized that he was still carrying someone under his arm. "And I mean it all worked! We got Nico Robin! How's that for SUPER?"

"How'd you find her, anyways?" Conis questioned.

"Eh, just grabbed the first person with breasts and no wings that I could find. Though…" Franky frowned in confusion. "It's weird, I coulda sworn that she was bigger…"

"That's sexual harassment."

Franky's eyes shot wide in terror. "Oh, shi—!"

THWOCK!

"Hoorgh!" His words devolved into a pained groan as he folded around the elbow Kalifa had buried in his gut.

The pirates all stared in horror as the blonde agent stood up and dusted herself off.

"B-But if she's here—!" Conis stammered.

"Then it means that you all have lost," Kalifa confirmed. An instant after she finished speaking, a thorn-like whip snapped from the other half of the car a few meters away and wrapped itself around the other half.

"Owowowowow!" Kaku winced as he struggled to hold the cars together, the whip digging through his Iron Body. "How do you even use this thing, dagnabbit?!"

"It's all in the grip," Kalifa called over her shoulder. She then affixed Franky with a glare. "Now, as for you—!" She proceeded to slam her heel into the Cyborg's jaw, launching him to the side… and through a door that had opened into the air and into Blueno's waiting arms.

"In case it bears repeating…" Kalifa adjusted her glasses as she started to step through the door herself. "You are under arrest."

"And just where do you think you're going?" Conis demanded as she clawed her way to her feet, legs shaking as they did their utmost best to support both her and her bazooka, while Boss forced his way into a tentative kneeling position with his fist.

"To Enies Lobby, of course." Kalifa tossed her hair as she turned to leave. "You're free to follow us if you so choose, but honestly, if you have any respect for your crewmate?" She gripped the edge of the 'doorway'. "Stay away."

Boss leaped forwards, Conis was flung on her ass as she fired…

And both missed spectacularly as the door slammed shut.

An instant later, a door opened in the air on the remaining train car, disgorging its three occupants and prompting Kaku to release the whip he was clutching.

In a matter of seconds, the Puffing Tom was almost a mile away and all the pirates could do was stare.

Boss ground his cigar between his teeth for a moment before slowly starting to sign. {We're going after them, right?}

"Damn straight," Sanji bit out darkly before shaking his head with a sigh. "Damn it… the only thing I regret is that we weren't able to do anything more damaging in the process…"

Conis started to nod in agreement as she stood back up, before pausing as she noticed something, and then grinned ecstatically. "Actually," she spoke up in a much lighter tone. "I'm pretty sure we've managed to accomplish something that's going to do a lot of damage to the World Government."

"Oh, yeah?" Sanji asked as he and Boss turned their heads. "Whaaaa… ooooh…" he trailed off as he caught sight of what she was looking at.

"Su," the fox said smugly, her paw resting on a familiar leather bag.

"I think that Cross will be happy to have this back," Conis stated.

-o-​

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" I repeated ecstatically as I swung a somewhat dizzy Conis around.

"He-e-e's ha-a-appy…!" Conis got out in a bit of a groan.

"Really happy," Su snickered from where she was safely perched on a nearby bench.

"Really, really happy," Yokozuna croaked out from beside one of the windows he was watching through.

"Extremely happy," Kokoro agreed.

"Sooo happy!" I repeated as I redoubled my grip on our gunner.

"My spine!"

"Ooooo-kay, happy man,"

"YEOW!" I yelped, dropping Conis as a result of Nami suddenly giving my ear a hard yank.

"No paralyzing our crewmates," she deadpanned.

"No rendering us deaf either, damn it!" I yowled miserably.

"Technically, losing an ear would only maim you; so long as your eardrum was left uninjured—!"

"NOT HELPING, CHOPPER!"

"Alright, as amusing as this is," Boss interrupted, staring at me. "I know that you want it to be her story to tell, but now that we're back with you all and we've got a chance, would you mind clarifying just what the hell her freaking malfunction is!?"

"Ah…" I glanced at him hesitantly.

"Seriously, Cross, I tried to talk her into coming back, and the more I went on, the more she withdrew." Boss grimaced uncomfortably. "I've seen it before in the older members of the clan, but this…" He shook his head with a haunted look. "At the lowest point, she was curled up and laughing in a way that made my blood freeze. I've seen some shit, but that was… like nothing I've even heard of."

"A traumatic flashback," Chopper decided. "They must know whatever she went through and are using some sort of stimulus from it to coerce her. The sheer fear of the trauma is overriding all logic, so she's acting irrationally in a manner that makes sense to her. In a manner of speaking… she's gone temporarily insane." A concerned expression spread across her face. "But the sheer degree of trauma you're describing… I've only ever heard of it in the case of war survivors or the worst kind of child abuse…"

I sighed as everyone's eyes fell on me—and I mean everyone's—but ultimately, I reasoned that since Aokiji had given away some of it, I could afford to give away a little more. But no more than I needed to.

"Navy officers ranked Admiral or higher have the authority to use the Marines' ultimate weapon, known as the Buster Call. Once the authorization signal is sent, the Marines will send five Vice Admirals and ten battleships to the designated location… and obliterate it. No mercy, no restraint, no discrimination, just pure destruction. Once all is said and done, all that's left is a lifeless rock that will not be included in the following year's maps. All records wiped, all memories erased. They kill the island, full stop." I grabbed the brim of my hat and tilted it down solemnly. "At the age of eight… Robin had a front-row seat to the onslaught, in all its horrific glory."

I shook my head at everyone's horrified expressions. "Spandam, the Chief of CP9, has in his possession the trigger for a Buster Call. Maybe Aokiji gave it to him, maybe he stole it, but it doesn't really matter in the end; the mere threat of him pushing that button is all that's needed to bring Robin's trauma screaming back to the fore and shut down every logical part of her brain." I scowled grimly. "If we're going to snap Robin out of it and get her back on our side, we're going to need to do something drastic." I grinned confidently. "The good news on that front, however, is that I've got the perfect stunt in mind."

I moved to sit down—

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT!"

"GAH!"

When I was suddenly accosted by a ballistic ball of white fuzz latching onto my collar and snarling into my face.

"This jackass has been screwing with us and dangling morsels of knowledge before us for as long as we've known him, and my patience is at an end!" Su bit out viciously. "Either you talk and you talk right the hell now, or I will take your damn snail and turn it inside out for answers!"

"TRY IT, puffball!" Soundbitesnarled, snapping his jaws for emphasis.

I opened my mouth to refuse before slowly shutting it as I thought better of the idea. I'd said that I would settle for telling everyone else sooner if worse came to worst, and it seemed that it had. And this was the calmest things were going to get before we hit Enies, so…

"I was hoping to tell Robin at the same time, but considering that at this point, that would require waiting until we got back to Water 7…" I gently peeled a suddenly compliant Su off of my chest and handed her off to Conis. "Fine, you've waited long enough. Everyone who's not part of the crew, please give us some space. This is the kind of intel that'll either drive you mad, land you in a looney bin, or get you killed."

Kokoro, the Galley-La foremen, Zambai, and the Square Sisters complied, exiting to the roof of the train car and the Franky Family's floating trailer. Regardless, it would pay to have extra security. I nodded to Soundbite, noise filled the air, and then I began the talk the same way I had when we left Drum. "Have any of you ever heard of the multiverse theory?"

Unsurprisingly, the only one to raise his hand—or flipper, in this case—was Donny. "I heard about that when I was eavesdropping on a few scientists who came through Nanohana! Something about there being infinite other worlds out there for everything that could happen. Like, in one world, we may have never met Boss, and in another, Eneru may have killed us—"

"And in another," I cut in before he could build up steam. "There may be a completely different history from the dawn of time, to the point that there was never a Grand Line, a Pirate King, or a World Government. Heck, maybe even most of the landmass in the world was on seven continents instead of countless islands."

"Ah..." Donny blinked curiously. "Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Simple," Su remarked, drawing everyone's attention. "He wouldn't give such a detailed description of a world unless it was his world."

I chuckled in response to her reasoning and everyone else's incredulity. "Satori was right about foxes being smart."

"Eh, more logic than anything," Su said dismissively before tilting her head, her expression still inscrutable. "But that raises more questions than answers. If you're from another world, then by all rights, you should know nothing about ours. But instead, you know far more than most people, even the most informed. How is that possible?"

"It's simple, really," I smirked almost bitterly. "Let's continue our… little hypothetical from earlier. Imagine, if you will, that in that other world, a man, an average, everyday—GRK, OWOWOW!" I suddenly cut off as a migraine hit me like a sledgehammer. "M-Make that glorious and beyond talented superhuman?" I tried desperately.

I sighed in relief when the pain went away. Well, looks like 'Goda' is alive and well. That or B.R.O.B. is a diehard fan. "Anyways… imagine that that person began to publish a comic book, and said comic book happened to portray another world. For the sake of conversation, let's say it's about a world fraught with impossibilities and oceans and islands. Imagine that that comic book grew to be incredibly popular all over the world. Imagine that some fans of it even thought about how awesome it would be to live in that world, and wished that they could go there."

I looked up at them, smiling sheepishly as I scratched the back of my head. "And imagine that one fan with a big mouth happened to say that within earshot of a real Bastard of a Random Omnipotent Being, who immediately granted the wish, and marooned him on an uninhabited island in that world where he met a Transponder Snail that ate the Noise-Noise Fruit."

Boss was looking at me with wide eyes, his cigar fallen from his mouth, and Donny and Leo had similar expressions. Even Su seemed surprised.

"Uh… what's your point?" Conis asked.

"I don't get it either," Raphey and Mikey chorused.

I facepalmed with a weary sigh. "Boss, Su, I believe you know the appropriate course of action here."

CLONK-CLONK! SMACK!

"Oww…" Mikey and Raphey moaned, nursing the goose eggs on their scalps.

"That hurt, Su," Conis said in frustration, rubbing her right temple where Su had tail-whipped her.

"You three deserved that," Zoro said with a shake of his head. "Luffy's the only one on the crew who has any right to be that thick."

"Hey!" Luffy cut in. "I'm not that thick!"

"You kept trying to eat those pink clouds we ran into a while back even after you fell through them," Zoro countered.

"But they looked soooo good! Like cotton candy!"

"He's saying that it's not a hypothetical situation, morons," Boss clarified, pointedly ignoring Luffy. "He's the one who got dropped here by that Random Omnipotent Bastard or whatever it was, and he knows so much because he read the story about this world. Specifically, the story about this damn crew."

"Exactly," I said. "The story was far from finished when I got sent here, so I don't know everything that's going to happen." I grimaced nervously. "Especially now that I've started the SBS. I'm just lucky that it would take something seriously warped to throw off the basic outline of the story, so I can still use what knowledge I do have to help our journey however I can. Obviously," I indicated the train car around us. "That doesn't always work out as well as I'd hope."

"So… you're stuck in this world?" Conis clarified hesitantly.

I shrugged indifferently. "B.R.O.B. said that I'd be able to travel between my world and this one whenever I want… after Luffy becomes the Pirate King. Though mind you!" I promptly stuck my finger in the air. "I'm not part of the crew to guarantee that, that was already a foregone conclusion before I joined and not due to Luffy being the protagonist, that's for damn sure—!"

"Never doubted it," the erstwhile uninformed stated in unison.

I smiled in relief before scowling. "But in the meantime, I'm expected to keep it entertained during our voyage, and I don't have any room to ask for favors since it gave me the transceiver. But, while I'm thinking about it…"

I snapped a glare upwards.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, but… look, a bargain is different from a favor, alright? Quid pro quo in whatever capacity I can give! And after coming this far, after doing this much…" I snapped my hand into a trembling white fist. "I'm willing to try making one if it means I can save Merry. So… you game?"

Silence for a moment. Then a window blasted open out of nowhere and a note slapped me in the face. Pulling it off with nary a flinch, I scanned over the words and exhaled wearily. "'Just do what you do, and maybe if I'm amused enough, I'll give you half a chance. Otherwise, you'll have to go through what Prince Bellett did if you want to save her.'"

"Who's that, Cross?" Luffy asked curiously.

I opened my mouth to reply, but paused, frowning in confusion. "…Actually, I'm not sure. Sounds like he could be from either here or my world…?"

An unnoticed half of the paper suddenly unfolded. I scanned over it, paled, and promptly folded the paper back up. "Right!" I said in a too-high-pitched voice. "I might love Merry, but I sure as hell don't love her that much. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, agreed?"

"What kind of attitude is that, Cross?" Boss barked indignantly, waddling right up to me with the Monster Trio close behind him, their expressions thunderous. "You said you swore to do anything you had to, and if that's the only way—"

I shoved the note in their direction. The captain and the three toughest people in the crew, at least as far as emotions went, scanned over the paper once before they paled as well. Boss then began shredding the paper in the most efficient and complete manner possible.

"Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Agreed," he mumbled in a dull tone as he tossed the paper scraps out the window, with Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji nodding along, and everyone else too scared to not accept.

"Right!" I barked as I slammed my hands together in an attempt to force things forwards. "Now, that's my secret told. Unfortunately, however, if you're hoping for some knowledge on what I've seen about you, I don't have much to offer; none of you were with the crew in the story. You only joined due to my interference."

"Well, now that you mention it, I'm sort of wondering about way back when we first joined the crew," Raphey spoke up. "When Soundbite gave us our group's name, and you complained about sanity—?"

"And what about my voice, eh?" Su concurred eagerly. "Who's… Vulpix, was it?"

"That can wait until after we've burned Enies Lobby to ash and gotten our archaeologist back," I stated, my tone brooking no argument. "Anything else critical, or shall we get to strategic planning?"

RATATATATATAT!

I snapped my gaze upwards in aggravated confusion as the sound of an intense gunfight erupted from the roof of our train. "Oh, what the hell now?"

"GUYS, LOOK—!" Zambai suddenly bellowed.

SMASH!

Before another window suddenly imploded, allowing a gun-toting otter and vulture to barge into the car.

"Alright, Cross!" 13 roared at the top of his surprisingly potent lungs as he waved his relatively massive shotgun around. "Our patience is at an end! Either you come with us, or else—! Ah…" The otter trailed off and slowly lowered its gun as it took account of the identities of the rest of the passengers in the car, his shattered sunglasses falling slightly askew in the process. "Hoo boy…"

Friday swallowed audibly as she dropped her machine guns and raised her wings above her head. "I knew we should have waited for the concussions to wear off. This sounded like far too good of a plan."

13 whimpered as he mimicked her. "In retrospect, you're entirely right."

"You two are really stupid," Luffy deadpanned, albeit with a hint of an edge to his voice. "Hey, Sanji, can you cook them?"

Sanji took a drag from his freshly lit cigarette and eyed the assassins menacingly. "In all honesty? I doubt it. Not a lot of appetizing recipes that involve otter and vulture…" He took an extra-deep drag, allowing the flame to highlight his face in shadow. "Meaning that we won't be wasting any food by wasting these two and tossing their bodies into the ocean."

"Oh, please, allow me," Boss said with a smug grin, cracking his neck in preparation. "Now, it doesn't matter why, but I am friends with some Bananagators."

That snapped me out of my shock and allowed me to shoot a glare at Boss. "Cool your jets, Carville, there's no need to go that far."

The Dugong shot me a skeptical look. "You sure, Cross?"

I leveled my eyes at the two assassin-animals. They stared back in equal parts hatred and fear. I thought things over for a second and then… I turned my back on them. I turned my back on them and waved my hand in what I knew was a clear show of dismissal. "A couple of bastards that can't let go of a grudge? Just tie them up and toss them on the tracks so that they can walk back to Water 7. If it's my say in the matter you want, my opinion hasn't changed: they're not worth killing."

I kept my back turned to them even as the sounds of a brawl suddenly rang out, rodential squeaking and avian squawking echoing around the room until finally they were overpowered by the sound of the car door slamming shut.

I nodded decisively before turning back to the rest of the group, unwilling to waste any more thought on the pests. "Alright, with that out of the way, Soundbite, call the others back in. It's time to get to planning our assault."

In short order, the crew, the Franky Family, and Galley-La were surrounding me as I sat on a seat and got my thoughts in order.

"Alright, first off, descriptions of CP9. Starting with the section chief, Spandam."

I looked up, pure hatred in my eyes, and everyone flinched back. "As we discussed back on Water 7, Franky has a past with him, and he didn't get all of his anger out for what he did to Tom. So, he'll need to stay alive until Franky has his revenge, and most likely Robin too while we're at it. But after that… unless I find a way to make it so he'd prefer death, unlike the pests from earlier, you have a green card to make sure and utterly certain that he doesn't make it out of Enies Lobby alive."

Several of my crewmates seemed disturbed, as did the few outside of the crew. My next words wiped that away. "He framed Tom's Workers to force Tom into accepting the punishment for building the Oro Jackson, solely for the purpose of advancing his career. And he's going to be torturing Robin in every imaginable way from the moment she gets to his office, solely for amusement. That's two examples, and the rest of what I know about him aren't any better. Anybody still feeling generous?"

And that was the end of their reservations.

"Didn't think so. Physically, he's nothing; the only weapon he has besides his authority is a sword that ate the Elephant-Elephant Fruit. And an elephant, bladed trunk or not, shouldn't be a problem for any of you."

Everyone nodded, fury blazing in all of their expressions, and I shook my head as I focused on what came next.

"As for the actual assassins… Luffy, you'll be fighting Lucci. You can handle most of it yourself, but I need to warn you about one thing." Luffy's eyes narrowed in discontent, but he nodded, and I continued. "The fighting style may be called the Six Powers, but for true masters of it like Lucci, there's a seventh technique called the Six King Gun. It takes a ton of energy to use, and it only works at point-blank distance, but its effect is about the same as using a Reject Dial." I held my arms in front of me, fists clenched and turned to the sides, like holding a steering wheel. "If you see Lucci take this pose, steer the hell clear. He'll only use it as a last resort, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt him."

Luffy nodded in grim acceptance, and I turned my gaze to our first mate.

"Now, moving on to the second strongest. Zoro, Kaku considers himself a user of the Four Sword Style; he wields two swords and is a master of the Tempest Kick technique. Besides that, he should have received the Ox-Ox Fruit, Model: Giraffe from Spandam. He may look silly for it, but it's made him a lot more powerful and given him a lot more reach, so be careful."

"A giraffe," Zoro replied flatly.

I snapped a finger up. "Consider: Tempest Kick works by sending out a gust of air from a fast-moving limb. Giraffes are known for what prominent feature?"

Zoro cocked an eyebrow. "Long ne…" He trailed off before nodding firmly. "Got it."

"Right." I moved on to our cook. "Sanji, the next strongest is Jabra, a wolf Zoan. His specialty is the Iron Body technique; you'll need Diable Jambe to even hurt him. Besides that, just don't let your guard down and you should be able to crush him without that much trouble." Sanji nodded in confirmation, and I considered what to say next.

"Blueno is next, and the gap between him and Jabra is huge. Luffy could beat him in a straight-up fight without much trouble, and he could wipe the floor with him as soon as he started using Gear Second. Really, the most threatening thing about Blueno is his Door-Door Fruit, especially the fact that he can make doors out of the—"

I trailed off with a pained gurgle as a horrifying thought hit me.

"What is it, Cross?" Zoro asked sternly.

"…The air. Blueno can make doors out of the air to another dimension where he can see everything that happens on this side. The only way in and out is his powers… that's why Luffy took him out first. If Blueno takes Robin into the Air Door, there's literally nothing we'll be able to do to save her before she gets to the Gates of Justice and out of our reach." I snapped a desperate look to our captain. "Alright, priority one is taking him out, before anything else."

Luffy nodded again as he slammed his fists together.

I shook my head as I tried to get my head back on track before turning to Chopper. "The next strongest is Kumadori. Big guy, long pink hair, and a master of Life Return, otherwise known as Bio-Feedback. He's also so hammy he might as well be cured, so if you praise him, you may be able to get some secrets out of him before the fight revs up."

"Oooooh, I like the sound of that," Chopper's eyes shone as he grinned eagerly.

"Don't get too eager there, Heterodyne-lite," I warned with a rap of my fist on his forehead. "The guy gets away with acting like an idiot because he gets his job done, and his job is killing people. If you give him an inch once you start fighting, you won't get back the mile he'll take. Put it this way: the way I saw things, you were only able to beat him by resorting to 'that'. And that would be potentially deadly for all of us right now. BUT!" I stuck a finger up when Chopper paled in horror. "If there's legitimately no other choice, if he is guaranteed to kill you if you don't…" I smiled and gave him a thumbs up. "Do it. Do it without a moment's hesitation or worry, knowing that we will take 'that' down, no matter how it's evolved, and that we will not let it harm anyone. Alright?"

Chopper swallowed before nodding firmly and began rifling through his arsenal of test tubes. I looked upwards again in thought. "The last one that wasn't on Water 7 is Fukuro. He'll stick out like a sore thumb: round body and a zipper over his mouth. His specialty is the Shave technique. Franky will probably end up fighting him, but he's a gloating S.O.B., so with any luck, we'll be able to take him down ahead of time, in which case it'll be all the better for us."

I turned towards Nami. "Kalifa is the weakest of them, and she'll probably be using her new Bubble-Bubble Fruit powers to fight. Quicknotes version for strategy: don't let the bubbles touch you, don't let her touch you, use water to counter, and as soon as her guard is down, electrocute her. She can use her new powers to guard against lightning if given the chance."

Nami nodded confidently, and I looked at the Galley-La foremen and Zambai. "You guys will be responsible for taking out the small fry. Sodom and Gomorrah can plow through most of them, but there are a few things to be wary of. A group of fifty soldiers who ride on wolves and have knives on their forearms; the Just Eleven Jurymen, eleven huge men who swing around steel balls and chains as big as they are; and Judge Baskerville, three people in one costume who swing a giant sword. Oh, and watch out for the mortar cannons, too."

The four of them nodded grimly.

"But!" I snapped a finger up. "All of them are your second priority; the first is reaching the courthouse at the end of the island. There are two towers on the sides of the courthouse, and there are switches at the top of each tower guarded by the Jurymen. If you pull both switches, a drawbridge will lower from the courthouse to the Tower of Justice. Priority one is lowering the bridge and keeping Baskerville or anyone else from stopping it."

"Got it. So, what's the plan for going in?" Zambai asked.

"Right!" I clapped my hands together firmly. "First things first! Luffy!"

"Yeah?" Luffy perked up promptly.

"As soon as we reach Enies Lobby, you're to charge ahead and crush all resistance as you head for the tallest tower at the far end of the place. That's where they're keeping Robin. Take out as many as you can, stay alive, and above all else?" I grinned eagerly. "Have fun!"

"Right!" Luffy nodded with an oblivious smile.

"WHAT?!" chorused pretty much everyone else'.

"Oh!" I snapped my fingers as a thought hit me. "But do me a favor and leave the ones at the second gates conscious, alright? I want them awake for what I've got planned for them."

"Shishishi! Got it, Cross!" Luffy snickered.

I then held up an arm to block the dope slap that Nami aimed at me.

"Do you think that Luffy would be able to wait five minutes to hear our plan?" I deadpanned before cocking my head to the side. "No, more plainly: do you honestly think he would follow a plan at all?"

The indignant reactions from my crew promptly snapped into resignation.

"Didn't think so. Rule one of planning tactics around the Straw Hat Pirates: you don't try to get Luffy to follow the plan. You try and plan around Luffy," I explained.

"Fine, fine, I can't argue with that," Nami grumbled despondently.

"Now, besides that," I said, pointing at the leaders of our allied factions. "The Franky Family, Galley-La Foremen, Usopp and I—!"

"EH!?"

I gave our sniper a flat look. "You're a sniper, they have snipers. Your job is to keep me from getting a new hole in my head, capiche?"

I took his panicked gibbering as a yes.

"Anyway, we'll all head ashore first on Sodom and Gomorrah, and everyone else will wait five minutes for us to clear a landing zone for the rest of us to arrive in. I'll give further instructions as they become necessary."

Everyone started to nod before freezing in realization. "Landing zone?" they all echoed with varying degrees of terror and excitement.

The only answer I deigned to share was a demented grin.

"Ah… I'm sorry, but..." Conis raised her hand hesitantly. "What was that about leaving the ones at the second gate conscious?"

I grinned menacingly as I contemplated what was to come. "Suffice to say… I have something special planned for them. But!" I clapped my hands, causing everyone to jump. "That's for then. For now, everyone go ahead and relax and get ready." My mood darkened significantly. "We're heading into the hardest fight of our lives to date." With that, I moved to a lonesome section of the car, leaving the rest of my crewmates and allies to ponder what was to come.

"So, Soundbite, will you be able to make the call now?" I asked.

"OF COURSE! But what are you—?"

"Wait for it, you wouldn't want me to spoil the surprise. But in the meantime…" I eyed Soundbite curiously. "How can you make that call? I thought you said that the Transceiver was an all-or-nothing amplification?"

"Ah," Soundbite, well, 'ah'd' in understanding. "Well, that's how IT WORKED AT FIRST, but I WORKED OUT HOW TO get around it back when we were FLOATING DOWN FROM SKYPIEA. It's nowhere near easy, but I CAN PIGGYBACK OFF of the signal to make calls solo LIKE ANY OTHER ADULT SNAIL." He smirked confidently. "AND I learned something else while I was at it. LEMME SEE THE idiot box!"

I gave him a curious look before conceding and drawing the transceiver from its bag, holding it up for him to see.

"See that red knob, far left end?" Soundbite gestured his eyestalk at the control in question.

"Yeah? What about it?"

"TURN THAT THING CLOCKWISE AND THE BOX WILL EMIT A DEAD ZONE!"

I snapped a shocked look at Soundbite. "Wha—you mean that this hunk a' junk will block Transponder Snails!?"

My hopes were dashed as Soundbite clicked his tongue and shook his head "You only wish. NO, THE DEAD ZONE doesn't block all snails. BUT!" He promptly regained his cocky attitude. "IT DOES BLOCK SNAILS from hearing the SBS!"

Now I was really shocked. "Seriously?!"

"WHY DO YOU THINK Pinkie and the Brain haven't been receiving it SINCE Conis joined? Ya know…" He grinned impishly. "AFTER you fiddled around WITH THAT THINGAMAJIG?"

I whistled in awe. "Hot damn… that's… wow…"

"EEYUP!" Soundbite cheered. "RIGHT NOW, IT'S ONLY SET to a few meters wide, but the max IS ABOUT TEN MILES! Enough to cover a whole island!"

I let out a low whistle as I considered the potential of that. Then I blinked in realization. "Wait a second, how do you even know all of that?" I asked incredulously.

"WELL, first, the thing was literally BUILT FOR ME! ALL I HAD TO DO WAS PAY MORE ATTENTION, and I could tell more ABOUT THE FUNCTIONS," Soundbite crowed, before sobering up. "But MOST OF IT…" He sent a hesitant glance at the box. "I JUST… LISTENED to it," the gastropod grimaced. "And it's NOT A SIMPLE VOICE."

I winced and patted his shell sympathetically before grinning as I considered the implications. "Well, however you did it, nice going. With this, we can broadcast the SBS in live combat without worrying about the enemy hearing what we're saying." My grin became downright vicious. "Which means that we can still take Spandam by surprise. I wish I could see the look on his stupid face, but I'm pretty sure that this," I tapped my finger on the box. "Will be a close second."

"Eheheheh!" Soundbite chuckled ecstatically. "Sounds FUUUN!"

"Ooooh, it should be," I nodded in agreement. "Now, all we need to do is—!"

"HEEEY! I CAN SEE IT! ENIES LOBBY, DEAD AHEAD!"

I glanced upwards at where the call had come from before standing up. "—get nice and amped. EVERYONE LISTEN UP!"

All noise in the car died as my crewmates looked at me.

"I wanna clarify something for you all before we arrive. I want to make it perfectly clear just how these bastards are manipulating Robin." I paced to the front of the car as I slowly moved my gaze across everyone. "As it stands, it would be safe to assume that the World Government threatened to use the Buster Call on her to make her compliant." I narrowed my eyes menacingly. "That would be false. They did not aim the Call at her. Rather, they aimed it at all of us. They threatened to obliterate us in the most horrific way Robin knew unless she cooperated. Do you understand the implications of what I'm saying? Allow me to clarify."

I held up a finger pistol to my own temple. "They held us hostage. They put a gun to our heads that only Robin could see and threatened to blow our brains out. They played on not only her insecurities but also her bond to us to make her obey them. In the simplest possible terms…" I scowled furiously. "They used us. Used our friendship, used our trust, as a means of hurting Robin. They took something sacred and they twisted it into a weapon."

My crewmates were stock still in their seats, emotion blazing in their eyes and weapons and fists clenched. It was Zoro who broke the silence by standing up, his face hard as the steel in his swords. "You don't need to amp us up, Cross," he growled. "We all know what those bastards did, and we're more than pissed off enough for this."

Glancing over the rest of the crew, I saw the same look in their eyes, prompting me to grin viciously. They really didn't need me to fire them up, did they?

But hell…

I slammed my fist into my palm as my grin became downright demonic.

Damn if it didn't feel damn good.

"Alright, in that case, who wants to raze some land and salt some earth?"

The resounding cheers that shook the car were answer enough.

"Well, that was fun!" Soundbite cackled. "Now, let's GET OUR GRR FACES ON!"

-o-​

"So, Zambai, you ready for this?" I asked with a grin to match his own as I watched Luffy disappear over the top of the Main Gate.

"You better believe it!" Franky's right hand roared, pumping his fist before giving me a once-over. "Looks like you're ready for war too."

I grinned confidently as I thumbed the collar of the new jacket I was wearing. Credit to Vivi, she'd definitely done a good job of choosing the clothes needed to make me look like a badass.

Besides my headphones and cap, I was clad in a hooded brown leather jacket decorated with a multitude of silver clockwork gears cracking and shattering as they ground against one another, visible even past the harness Lassoo was resting in. Beneath that, I had on a black t-shirt that had a bright yellow biohazard symbol practically spray-painted over the chest, with the word 'TOXIC' etched above it in the same color. And to cap it all off, some good ol' fashioned cargo pants. Why mess with what worked, right?

"You're damn right I am," I chuckled. "This… This is going to be something."

"Heheh, yeah!" Soundbite snickered before glancing behind both of us. "Although, it looks like NOT EVERYONE IS QUITE SO COOL. SERIOUSLY DUDE, a cape?"

"S-S-SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE PEST!" Usopp yelped fearfully as he pointed a quivering finger at my shoulder. "I-I-I'M ABOUT T-T-TWO STEPS AWAY FROM PISSING MY PANTS, S-S-SO JUST GIVE ME THIS, D-DAMN IT!"

"Ah, cheer up, Usopp, it's not so bad!"

The sniper jumped slightly in surprise before glancing down at Mikey.

The Dugongs as a whole had decided to upgrade their wardrobes a bit. The Squad had all adopted flak jackets like Boss had found back on Water 7, along with adding their own personal touches. Mikey had a pair of ammo-laden bandoliers crossed over his chest, Raphey had tied a bandanna with a mouthful of fangs over her mouth, Donney had strapped on a pair of bottle-lensed goggles, and Leo… well.

Initially, Leo hadn't put on anything all that special, but he'd been halfway through re-tying his headband when Zoro and Boss had exchanged a look. Zoro had then proceeded to yank the Dugong's headband off before he could react and toss the blue fabric to Boss, who then unfolded the bandanna to its full length and tied the entire thing around Leo's skull.

It had taken the swordsman a few seconds to process what had happened, at which point he nodded in grateful acceptance.

Finally, Boss had simply chosen to don a dark-green boxing headpiece he'd pulled from somewhere, over which he'd tied his headband.

It took Usopp a second to muster his nerve, at which point he gave the orange-wearing Dugong a hesitant grin. "Y-Y-You really think so?"

"Totally!" Mikey popped an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "I mean, we're about to march right into the belly of the beast! This is going to be a bloody edge-of-the-scythe battle of the decade! There's gonna be every single chance of us dying at every single second! There won't be a point where this won't be aweso—GRK!"

"THAT'S NOT HELPING, DAMN IT!" Usopp shouted in the Dugong's face as he shook him back and forth by his collar.

"Usopp, calm down!

Luckily, our negotiator was quick to grab his shoulder.

Vivi'd gone for a rather impressive outfit that was a combination of practically flexible and fashionable. She was wearing a white halter top that had a lotus-and-vine design sewn into it in light blue thread, as well as a pair of similarly colored and styled arm warmers that started just above her elbows and ended a few inches below her wrists, partially hiding her hands. Below the waist, she had on a pair of denim shorts that stopped mid-thigh, as well as a frill-edged blue-colored white-detailed sarong that was angled in such a manner that her left leg was hidden.

"They're half trying to psyche you up, half legitimately excited for the coming fight," Vivi soothed him. "And besides, you're going to shore with almost sixty battle-ready guys at your back, I'm sure you'll be fine!"

"Psh, yeah, sixshty againsht sheveral shousand…" Carue snickered as he tilted down the knight-style visor he'd affixed to his hat.

"Oh, God…"

"Not helping!" Vivi slapped the back of her snickering duck's head with a sigh. "Alright, can someone please back me up here? I think I might be losing him."

"Let me try!" Conis eagerly said. She was wearing the same style she'd had on at Water 7, but she'd swapped out her color palette in favor of a light-toned urban-camo long-coat over her white turtleneck and donned a pair of light gray combat pants.

The angel was quick to give Usopp a comforting one-armed hug. "You just need to trust in us, Usopp! We'll have your back every step of the way!"

"And besides!" Su crooned from her partner's shoulder. "Look at it this way!" She slapped her tail against the exhaust pipe of Conis' bazooka. "None of them will be toting a Boom Beach Heavy Industries Burn Bazooka! Or—" She swiped her tail over to Conis' rifles. "A pair of ENTAC high-caliber combat rifles! Or!" She zipped to Conis' waist and tapped her paw on Conis' holster. "Four, count 'em, four Brown & Boehringer large-bore pistols!" Su cocked her head in a teasing manner. "Trust me, however many weapons those guys have got, they are categorically outgunned."

"Not to mention the fact that we've got Sodom and Gomorrah on our side," Kiwi piped up. "Bullets are like bug bites to them."

Usopp's trembling grew weaker, though it didn't subside. "Y… Yeah, you have a point there."

"That's the spirit!" I said jovially, clapping Usopp on the back. "Now, come on, let's make these guys wish they never heard the name 'Straw Hat Pirates.'"

And so it went, most of the Franky Family charging through the few guards at the main gate that Luffy hadn't annihilated while the rest of us performed the laborious task of getting Sodom and Gomorrah mounted on treads.

The yellow King Bull Sodom glanced at his brother. "It's five miles to the Tower of Justice, we got bellies full of fish, a trailer full a' fighters, it's day in the middle of the night, and we're wearing goggles," he summarized blandly.

Gomorrah snorted. "Hit it!"

I gave a cackling Soundbite a flat glare as the bulls steamed for shore. "There was never a chance of us leaving these waters without you quoting those two and using their voices, was there?"

"NOT A ONE!"

Lunacy aside, we arrived at the Judicial Island's front door in short order and made our way past the crowd of Marines and Agents that our one-man vanguard of a captain had kindly downed for us. Once the Destroyers blew the doors off their hinges, we strode through... and took a moment to pause and take in the sights before us.

The fact that the island was lit up like it was high noon at midnight had been an incredible enough sight already, sure, but the island itself…

Damn, where to even begin…

Anywhere was viable, really.

The Gates of Justice, which had apparently been designed to emulate the Red Line and Laguna with how they formed a horizon of metal and ensured that none could possibly mistake the global symbol for pure, unflinching order emblazoned upon them.

The falls all around us, which swallowed the ocean uncountable tons at a time and roared and howled with such intensity that not even the blind could forget their presence, seeing as the noise went so far as to shake the innards of everyone even remotely nearby.

Even the island itself, hanging over the gaping abyss below, unwavering and unmoving in spite of the veritable city built upon its back, standing as a testament made material to the sheer, unflinching power of the Justice of the Marines.

It was just a pity that we'd be the last ones to ever appreciate it.

Sodom and Gomorrah charged forward, meeting no opposition, up until the soldiers of the main island gate came into view, at which point I stopped and snapped my fist up. I could feel several incredulous looks snap to stare at the back of my head, but regardless, Sodom and Gomorrah slowed to a stop.

I nodded gratefully and moved to dismount. "Usopp, you're with me."

The sniper whimpered as I slid off the King Bull, slowly following me. I then stepped forward in front of them, Usopp behind me, and waited. After a minute, the Marines began moving closer, two soldiers stepping to the front lines and coming to a stop directly in front of me.

"You are trespassing on Government property. Identify yourselves and state your business," one of them said, though his tone clearly stated that us being here meant we were in deep shit already.

I grinned pleasantly as I sucked in a slight breath. "Hello there, my name is Jeremiah Cross. I am the third mate, tactician, and public relations officer of the Straw Hat Pirates, as well as one of the two co-communications officers and co-hosts of the Straw Hat Broadcasting Station. Maybe you've heard of me?" I took a lot of pleasure in the way the soldiers tensed up. "With me are Soundbite, my co-officer and co-host—"

"HOLLA!" the snail in question sang.

"Our sniper, Usopp—"

The long-nose swallowed audibly.

"And a small host various friends and allies who shall remain anonymous. As for our business, it's a matter of theft." I widened my smile slightly. "See, you—that is to say, the World Government—stole our archaeologist, Nico Robin from us. As such, we are here to retrieve her. In pursuit of this goal, we intend to invade the Judicial Island of Enies Lobby, defeat the Cipher Pol No. 9 Agents garrisoned within the Tower of Justice, including the famed soldier of Dark Justice Rob Lucci, raze the island to the ground in a hail of hellfire, and then be on our merry way."

I kept my smile in place as I paused, soaking in the awkward silence as everyone present gaped at me in both awe and horror.

"Ah!" I suddenly snapped my finger up. "But before all of that, I'm going to zap… you!" I jabbed my finger at the soldier on the left. "With lightning," I finished in a calm and utterly honest tone of voice.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then the soldiers started to laugh.

Then I started to laugh.

Then Usopp started to laugh, albeit nervously.

Then I dropped my baton into my hand and snapped it out to its full length before ramming it in the gut of one of the Marines and pressing the button my thumb had been hovering over, discharging a few thousand volts into the man.

Everyone stopped laughing after that.

Specifically, the soldier who was still standing cursed and fumbled desperately with the polearm he was carrying, so I spun around and rammed my fist into his stomach, causing him to double over and breathlessly dry-heave.

By this point, the Marine I'd zapped had had time to marginally recover and was starting to get his wits about him, so I grabbed the back of his head and rammed him into a knee that I brought up, which resulted in him stumbling back with an agonized howl as he clutched his thoroughly shattered nose.

I then turned to the non-zapped soldier as his breathing started evening out, took aim and dropped an armored and very heavy elbow on his exposed upper back, laying him out flat.

Meanwhile, the soldier I'd tased and kneed had stumbled back towards me and was slouched over just enough for me to grab the sides of his hat—

CRUNCH! "Grhgrgh…"

—and ram my forehead into his already-demolished nose, which resulted in the soldier collapsing into blissful unconsciousness.

Finally, I turned back to the prone marine, who was only just starting to crawl to his hands and knees, and stuck my hand below his face, which resulted in him tensing up in anticipatory terror.

"Impact," I drawled before flexing my palm.

The resulting blast of kinetic energy smashed the soldier's face in and flipped him onto his back, his pained gurgles making it clear that he was well and truly down for the count.

I took a second to pause and roll my shoulders in preparation before shooting a deathly glare at the rest of the Marines who were still standing paralyzed at the Island Gates. "You Government bitches had better go and get the best you got," I called out to them. "Because the next person who comes out here?"

I reached my left arm over my shoulder and pulled Lassoo into position, cocking him menacingly.

"I'm going to do my best to send them back in a body bag."

The Marines stood frozen for a scant second before scrambling around amongst themselves. Ultimately, one of them was booted from the pack and sent running back into the gatehouse, where Soundbite didn't even have to lift an eyestalk for us to hear several distinct yells of "OIMO!" and "KASHI!"

I grinned impishly as I slid Lassoo back onto my back. "Worked like a charm."

Soundbite whistled in awe. "Hot damn, HOTSHOT!"

Usopp, to his credit, wasn't trembling quite so much as I'd have expected, though he was gibbering uncontrollably. "Bu-Bu-Bu—!? But they—!? But you—!? But h-how—!?"

I gave our sniper an amused look. "How? Three easy steps. The two halves of number one—" I spun my baton in my hand and rapped my armored knuckles against my forehead, producing a metallic clang in the process. "You made! Love the lightning-stick, even if it does give me some minor flashbacks, and as Luffy has repeatedly demonstrated, you can never have too hard a head! The armor-plating and padding you sewed in is just icing! Number two, Zoro's training." I shuddered in horror. "'Nuff said. And as for number three, well…" I shrugged indifferently. "Never underestimate the element of surprise. Simple as that!"

Usopp eyed me warily before shrugging and looking forward. "Alright, then. In that case, w-why did you need me here?" He glanced at me out of the corner of my eye. "And why did you ask for their strongest, anyway?"

I waited a second, before grinning as I felt the ground begin to shake beneath our feet. "Oh, that's easy. I wanted you here and I called them out because there's something of a… personal connection between the three of you."

Usopp opened his mouth to speak… and kept widening it in horror as a pair of massive shadows fell over us.

I tilted my head at him with a curious expression. "You still like giants, right?"

The shrill wheeze/shriek crawling out of Usopp's mouth was answer enough.

I very casually looked up at the two very different but nonetheless very imposing giants that were towering over us, one muscular and wielding an axe while the other was stout and brandishing a club. Both were grinning down at us in obvious menace.

"Jeremiah Cross and the Straw Hats, huh?" Kashi huffed as he scratched the back of his head with a weary expression. "Well, that's a real shame. You guys're the funniest distraction we've had since we started working here." He shrugged indifferently. "But oh well."

"Yeh, it's too bad," Oimo said, stretching his jaws in a bone-cracking yawn. "But hey, work's work. Now c'mon." He unslung his club and let it slam into the bridge, causing more than a few stones to shake loose from the edges. "Let's get this over with so that we can get back ta' sleep."

The two started to step forward…

"WAAAAIT!"

Before pausing when I raised my voice, an endeavor which Soundbite gladly aided in.

I took a second to huff and get my voice back before continuing at a more sedate—if still amplified—tone of voice. "Before we jump into the fighting and the squashing and all that…" I spread my arms invitingly. "Do you mind if we spare a second to just sit down and talk?"

The giants blinked dully as they glanced at one another before leaning down and eyeballing me.

"Huuuuuh?" Kashi droned in a disbelieving tone. "And why would we do that?"

"Yeah," Oimo snorted. "You guys're trying to pass the gate, and it's our job to stop you! We don't have any reason 'ta talk!"

"Crooooss…" Usopp hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

I ignored him in favor of spreading my hands in a clear show of innocence. "But, sirs! We haven't tried to enter the gate yet!"

That got a lot of people to blink at me in surprise.

"Huh?" the giants chorused.

"Well, I mean, I took down some gate guards, sure." I toed one of my downed opponents, causing him to flop bonelessly over. "But my friends and I haven't even made a single move towards your gate yet. So! We're technically not enemies. So whaddaya say, huh?" I sank down to the ground and tapped what scant grass there was in invitation. "Why not sit down and talk a bit? Just… to kill some time! Come on, pirate to pirate!"

That got Oimo to blink in surprise. "Heeey, how'd you know that we're pirates?"

"Three kinds of Giants leave Elbaf: slaves, Marines, or pirates. You're not in uniforms or chains, so there's only one option. And you still haven't answered my question!"

While the giant guards glanced thoughtfully at one another, I snapped my fingers in front of Soundbite and pointed at the Marines still milling about the Island Gate, prompting him to tune them out even as one of them got it into his head to start yelling up at Oimo and Kashi.

Ultimately, the pair grinned and nodded.

"Alright!" "Sounds like fun!"

And with that, the two sank into cross-legged sitting positions, leaning forwards in ill-concealed eagerness.

"So, whaddaya wanna talk about?" Kashi asked eagerly.

"Hm…" I tapped my chin in exaggerated thoughtfulness before snapping my fingers. "Ah, I know, maybe you can answer a question! See, I find myself to be quite curious: what are a pair of Giant pirates, the most honorable pirates on all the Grand Line, if not the world, doing guarding the gates to the World Government's front step?"

Just like that, the pair's expressions darkened. "Ya never pull your punches, do you…" Oimo muttered as he scratched the back of his head before sighing heavily. "Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to tell you. Kashi and I used to be pirates 100 years ago. We were the strongest crew around, nobody could ever stand up to us… up until that fateful day when we visited a certain island. Our co-captains got into an argument, and they got into an honor duel, which would have been fine…"

"But neither of them could win!" Kashi flung his hands up in frustration. "They just kept fighting and fighting, and Elbaf's word clearly says that so long as both don't back down, the duel only ends when there's a victor! Their honor would be destroyed if they stopped the duel otherwise."

"Of course, of course," I nodded understandingly, even as I noticed Usopp starting to blink in realization. "I understand completely. Honor is a serious matter for the giants of Elbaf, neither could back down while theirs was still threatened."

"Exactly!" Kashi jabbed his finger at me. "And because it was a duel of honor, none of us, their crewmates, could interfere! The only thing we could do was take our captains to an island where no one would interfere and return home to Elbaf while we waited for them to finish fighting! And we did wait!" Kashi then trailed off and hunched forward with a sigh, balancing his chin on his fists. "For fifty years…"

"But neither of them ever came…" Oimo picked up in a sorrowful tone. "Kashi and I got worried, so we backtracked along the Grand Line to try and reach the island where they were so that we could check up on them!" He snarled and cast a rueful glare at the still-muted Marines behind him, causing them to flinch back. "But on the way, we got captured by Marines."

Kashi ground his teeth as he gripped his helmet and ground it into his scalp. "Then these bastards told us the truth! The reason why our bosses were late was that they'd been captured! The Government caught them in the middle of their duel and tossed them in Impel Down so that they'd rot!"

"We were desperate…" Oimo moaned. "We said we'd do anything if they'd let our bosses go, so the Government made a deal with us: if we defended the gates of Enies Lobby for a hundred years, then they'd let our bosses go and we could all go home! Since giants live to be 300 or so, we didn't think it was a bad deal, so we accepted."

"It's been fifty years since that day…" Kashi stared upwards wistfully. "We're halfway there, but there's a catch: if we get beaten even once, then we need to start over, and our bosses will be long past their prime when they get out if that happens. Either we make it all the way… or bust."

"There've been some fun times, sure, plenty of good fights…" Oimo admitted. "But still… doesn't change the fact that it's been fifty years since we've been proper pirates. And a hundred since we saw our bosses."

A hand landed on my shoulder all of a sudden, and I turned my head to observe Usopp as his expression combined both an apoplectic flush and a ghastly pale. "Yeeesss?" I crooned.

"Are they saying… what I think they're saying?" Usopp ground out.

I jerked my head at the giants. "Why don't you find out for yourself?"

Usopp visibly balked for a second as he stared at the mournful titans… but it was only for a second, after which he steeled his gaze and back and strode forwards. "He—!" His voice croaked for a bit, but it firmed up once Soundbite amped it. "HEY! You two! Your captains, were they named Dorry and Broggy?"

Everyone opposite us jumped, giants and Marines alike, though their motivations were different. The giants did so in shock, while the Marines… they did so in bowel-dropping terror.

One of them tried to snap open a compartment in his gauntlet to talk to a baby snail hidden within, but Usopp responded by snapping his hand to his side before reconsidering and shooting it to his back. In less than a second, he unfolded Kabuto, drew, took aim, fired, and pegged the bastard between the eyes, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Going by how the rest of the Marines snapped their hands up, where we could see them, nobody felt particularly lucky.

Meanwhile, Oimo recovered and blinked at Usopp in confusion. "H-How did you—?"

"And the island you and your crew left them to duel on!" Usopp forged on. "That was the prehistoric island of Little Garden, right!?"

"Eh!?" Kashi slowly clambered to his feet along with his companion as he stared down at Usopp. "How could you know that?"

"How could we not know? Before we came here, my crew met those bosses of yours, and we saw them fighting their duel! The great warriors of Elbaf fighting the same duel, over and over again, for the last hundred years!" Usopp boldly proclaimed, all traces of fear now long gone.

Oimo and Kashi fell on all fours, their eyes close enough to us that we could see our reflections in them. "WHAT!?" they bellowed in a furious synchronization. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!? IF YOU'RE LYING, WE'LL CRUSH YOU LIKE ANTS!"

"I'M NOT LYING!" Usopp shouted back at the top of his lungs, and on his own at that. "I'M TELLING THE TRUTH! ASK ME WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT THEM! ABOUT THEIR WEAPONS, ABOUT HOW THEY FOUGHT, ABOUT HOW THEY LOOKED, HOW THEY LAUGHED, ALL OF IT! I'LL ANSWER IT ALL! NO MATTER WHAT YOU ASK, IT'S THE TRUTH! I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT THIS! THOSE TWO…"

Usopp bowed his head for a moment before snapping his gaze up, determination blazing in his eyes. "I SAW THEM AS MY TEACHERS, MY MASTERS! THEY TAUGHT ME WHAT IT WAS TO BE A WARRIOR OF THE SEAS, TO BE SOMETHING I ONLY EVER DREAMED OF BEING! I SWORE TO BECOME A GREAT MAN OF PRIDE LIKE THEM ONE DAY! YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THIS?! IT'S A FACT, AND I'LL SAY IT AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES! WE MET THEM! THEY WEREN'T CAPTURED FIFTY YEARS AGO! THAT'S NOTHING BUT A BIG, FAT, LIIIIEEEE!"

"AND I CAN PROVE IT!" I bellowed in agreement as Usopp took a moment to pant and wheeze desperately before dropping my volume and letting Soundbite take up the slack, though I indicated that he keep it between the four of us and only us. "On our way here, I got in contact with a friend of mine called Pisces, who I asked to call a friend of hers called Capricorn, who got me the number of another friend of mine I call Rooster, who let me speak to a friend of his called… let's go with April—!"

"CALLBACK!"

"Shut it! But anyway, April got me the number for the Transponder Snail of a friend of hers called, eh… Candle." I snapped my fingers before Soundbite with a grin. "Let's give them a ring, shall we?"

Soundbite smirked as he narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth. "Puru puru puru puru! Puru puru puru puru!" he sang out, letting the dial tone waft across the bridge.

After a few seconds, however, Soundbite clicked his tongue and adopted a—

I blinked in surprise. The hell? I thought I'd called Dorry and Broggy, not Gedatsu.

"HELLO!" a very loud and very fake falsetto voice bellowed out. "WHO IS THIS? THIS IS MISTER THREE! WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Your false accent sucks," Broggy's voice spoke up in a bored tone.

"Seconded," I said in the same tone.

"SCREW THE BOTH OF YOU!" Dorry roared indignantly.

That snapped Oimo and Kashi out of their open-mouthed shock.

"BOSSES!"

"OW!"

As evidenced by the two of them murdering my ears.

"Looooud…" I groaned as I dug a finger through my ear.

"Eh?" Dorry blinked in surprise. "Wait, was that Kashi just now?"

"And Oimo too!" Broggy beamed jubilantly. "Hello, boys! Wow, it's been forever since I've heard your voices! How have you been? How's the rest of the crew? How are things on Elbaf?"

The pair's joyous expressions promptly collapsed into sheepishness, and Oimo spoke up first. "The crew… we're sorry, Bosses, but the crew didn't stay together," he admitted shamefacedly. "A bunch went off solo, others settled down, and the rest… well, they went Marine, but that was just 'cause they wanted good fights and the Marines could deliver that without bein' as dangerous as some of the new crews that have popped up! Dangerous crews, strong crews!" He bowed his head sorrowfully. "Kashi and I… we're some of the last diehards…"

Broggy's expression promptly became regretful. "Ah… is that so? Well, I guess I can't blame them. It'd be selfish to think that time would stand still for us. I just hope they're happy."

"And what about you two, huh? How have the years treated you?" Dorry said, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

Which only brought Kashi's mood lower. "That's the other thing…" he muttered. "Bosses, we're not calling you from Elbaf. We're calling you from Enies Lobby."

That struck the twin captains silent. "What?" Dorry whispered incredulously.

"The… The Marines…" Oimo sniffed tearfully, his voice full of shame and regret. "Th-They said that they'd captured you… that they'd locked you up… so we cut a deal to act as guards for your freedom!"

"We've been here for the last fifty years…" Kashi groaned. "All because we doubted your strength… we're sorry, Bosses, so sorry! We've brought shame to the Giant Warrior Pirates! Shame to Elbaf!"

"Ho-Hold on! O-Oimo, Kashi, just wait a minute! I-It's a trick!"

Soundbite flinched and cast a glare over at the Marines, specifically the one who'd stepped up and was shouting at the top of his lungs. "Sorry, got caught up in the moment, JUST LET ME—!"

"No, no," I stopped him and Usopp with a raised hand, my eyes never leaving the soldier. "Let him speak. I'm… morbidly curious as to how deep a grave he can dig."

The Marine had to pause to catch his breath as he caught up to the Giants, but once he did he jabbed an accusing finger at me. "H-He's lying, he has to be! We really do have Broggy the Red Ogre and Dorry the Blue Ogre in custody! He's just using his snail's powers to trick you into thinking you're speaking with them! I-If you turn on us, then they'll never go free, and you'll join them!"

"YOU DARE—!?" Dorry and Broggy started to roar in synch, but I silence them by clamping my hand down on Soundbite's mouth.

"Now, now," I said soothingly. "Don't be so harsh! After all, he's quite right! That is a possibility! It's well within Soundbite's capabilities to fake the voices of these two's captains! After all, all he needs to do is listen to a person's voice only once to imitate it. Even a single word would do it!"

Oimo and Kashi both stared at me with betrayed and horrified visages, Usopp and Soundbite seemed to be channeling Nami with how hard they were glaring at me, and everyone behind me was shouting at me to, to summarize, 'STOP SCREWING AROUND, DAMN IT!' But honestly, how could I when this was so fun?

"H-Ha! You see? He even admits it!" the soldier crowed, getting his bravado back. "So, hurry up and—!"

"Buuuuut!" I cut in smoothly. "I just need you to clarify one iiitty bitty little thing in that case."

The soldier flinched back nervously as he fought to keep his cocky visage up. "O-Oh yeah? What?"

"Well, answer me this," I crooned as I leaned in close, so that my face was inches away from his, so that I could see the terror in his eyes. "Just tell me… when we could have gotten their voices."

Even with the falls around us, you could have heard a pin drop.

The now white-faced and wet-pantsed Marine swallowed heavily. "W-W-What?" he whispered breathlessly.

"You heard me," I hissed back. I then jerked forwards, causing him to flinch back and fall on his ass, at which point I loomed over him with a demonic grin. "When did I get their voices? When did I slip away from my crew, on my lonesome, infiltrate the impenetrable underwater gaol of Impel Down, locate Red Ogre Broggy and Blue Ogre Dorry, snag samples of their voices, sneak back out, and rejoin my crew?" I leaned over him, doing my best to channel Doflamingo with every word I spoke. "Weeeell, Marine? When?"

The soldier's teeth were outright chattering as he stared at me. "I-I-I—!"

I leaned in closer and looked him dead in the eye. "Speak up, Marine."

He was silent for a second before swallowing heavily. "I…" he stated in a quiet voice. "Am going to run away now."

I stood back up with a contented smile. "Yes, why don't you go do that?"

The Marine got to his feet in a cool, calm, and collected manner and brushed himself off… and then ran past me like there were demons on his ass.

Soundbite cast a dismissive look at the rest of the Marines still standing by the Gate. "Any other takers?"

Turns out? There were over three dozen. The rest had either fainted or were pulling off an impressive 'terrified goat' routine.

Soundbite rolled his eyes with a scoff as the soldiers ran past us. "The strong and proud my non-existent ass."

"Hey, that's U.S., not W.G., don't sully our good name," I muttered back.

"Impressive, Cross!" Broggy laughed. "And we thought you'd come a long way since we met you before! This new generation never fails to impress! Gabababa—!"

"Quiet, Broggy," Dorry interrupted.

"Hey, what're you—!?"

"Why are the Straw Hat Pirates on Enies Lobby, Cross?" Dorry asked in an even tone.

"—ahbuh!?" Broggy choked in realization.

"Master Dorry, Master Broggy," Usopp spoke up again, his fear dead and buried as it was before. "The World Government threatened our crew, and one of our crewmates sacrificed herself to them in a misguided attempt to save us." He crossed his arms and bowed his head solemnly. "We're going to invade Enies Lobby and get her back, no matter who or what tries to get in our way."

For a second, there was nothing but silence, then…

"Guess there's no other option, is there?" Broggy grunted in a grim tone.

"Not a one," Dorry snorted before raising his voice in a bark. "OIMO! KASHI!"

"SIRS!" the giants snapped out twin salutes, snapping into kneeling positions.

"AS OF THIS INSTANT, THE STRAW HAT PIRATES ARE OFFICIAL ALLIES OF THE GIANT WARRIOR PIRATES!"Dorry bellowed.

"HERE ARE YOUR ORDERS!" Broggy roared. "SUPPORT THE STRAW HATS WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! HELP THEM RESCUE THEIR COMRADE, AND BURN THAT BLASTED ISLAND TO THE GROUND!"

"DO WE WE MAKE OURSELVES CLEAR, WARRIORS?" they concluded with a united bellow.

"YES, CAPTAINS!" the giants roared as they pumped their fists in the air.

"Glad to hear it," Dorry sneered viciously.

"We'll contact you once all is said and done," Broggy concluded. "Elbaf be with you, Straw Hats."

"And with you, Captains," I nodded respectfully.

The instant the connection dropped, I shot a nice and evil grin up at the two giants, who matched it tooth for tooth.

"Now then, boys…" I purred as I patted my bag. "What do you say we start this joint venture of ours… in style?"

-o-​

"Don don don don!"

A chorus of tired groans surfaced among the Red-Haired Pirates as the snail began blaring.

"That loud-mouthed brat… it's the middle of the night!" Shanks glowered as he grabbed the speaker and dislodged it. He then fell back onto his back as music began blaring out at the top of the snail's lungs.

"FROM DEEP INSIDE THIS SPREADING DARKNESS, A REVOLUTION I'M STARTING TODAY! AND I CAN'T LET ANYONE INTERFERE WITH WHAT I'LL DO, OR GET IN MY WAAAAAY~!"

The rest of the Red-Haired Pirates promptly became much more awake and much more irritated. Finally, a minute or so later, during which the crew began picking up bottles to try to fend off the coming insanity…

"Good choice for music, Soundbite. Now… hello, everyone. Jeremiah Cross here, bringing you a very special edition of the SBS!" The human host's grin suddenly took on a somewhat menacing overtone. "Which begins right now."

"PFFFT!"

And one and all, every single one of the Red-Haired Pirates, Shanks included, spat out their drinks, instantly sober and on their guard.

"He started the SBS. He started the SBS. I'm not the only one who realizes that that is never a good sign, right?" Yasopp asked nervously.

"This is going to be a broadcast to remember…" Benn mused as he fingered the butt of his rifle.

"Heheh, well at least there's a bright side to all of this!" Shanks snickered as he grabbed a new bottle of grog. "I have a good excuse now! Long live the Straw Hat crew, they drive me to drink!" And with that, he knocked his poison back.

"Now, I imagine that you're all probably on the edges of your seats wondering what makes this particular broadcast so special, huh? Well, dear viewers, I'll tell you! We of the Straw Hat Pirates have decided to engage in some good ol' fashioned piracy! And I mean the dictionary definition! Just to see what it feels like and prove that we don't fly the Jolly Roger for shits and giggles. As such…" If Cross's smile was menacing before, it was downright predatory now. "We're about to invade, pillage, and burn an island to the ground. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"PFFFT!"

Only to spit it out immediately afterward.

"SAY WHAT!?" one of the Four Emperors bellowed indignantly.

-o-​

Sengoku sighed in relief as he leaned back in his chair, casting a thankful eye to the heavens. "So, there actually is a God, huh?" he muttered to himself as he smiled morosely. "Good to know."

The Fleet Admiral started to compose a prayer for those families about to lose their homes in the pursuit of proving, once and for all, that good pirates really were nothing but a myth.

"So, ladies and gentlemen, before I begin explaining exactly why I'm doing this, I'd like you to listen to the following sound, committed by our two newest allies. Ready, Oimo?"

Only for that voice to utter that name, causing him to snap his eyes open in horror. "What."

"Yep!"

"What!"

"And you, Kashi?"

"What!"

"I've been wanting to do this my whole life!"

"WHAT!?"

"Then in that case… do it."

"WHAAAAAT!?" a very large, very golden, very pissed Sengoku roared as he instinctively blew the roof off of Marineford.

"RIGHT!"

SMASH!

But no amount of fury was able to mask or alter the sound of a titanic amount of stone suddenly shattering like little more than glass.

"To those Marines who might have found the names of our two compatriots to be somewhat familiar!" that fucking voice grinned in honest, chaotic amusement. "Allow me to refresh your memories! Those were Oimo and Kashi! Members of the Giant Warrior Pirates who, up until all of three minutes ago, were detrimentally employed by the World Government to act as guards for the GATES OF THE GOVERNMENT'S JUDICIAL ISLAND, ENIES LOBBY!"

"GAUTAMA FUCKING DAMN IT!" Sengoku raged as he planted a brilliant fist in what little of his office wall remained before raising his voice. "SOMEONE GET ME GARP! GET ME TSURU! GET ME AOKIJI! GET ME EVERYONE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

"E-Everyone—!?" stammered one of the very few Vice Admirals who hadn't fainted in the initial blast of existential pressure that the Admiral of the Fleets had emitted.

"EEEVERYYYOOONE!"

"Huh, didn't think he could get that hammy anymore…" Garp muttered around the rice cracker he was munching on as he warily eyed the roof of his office.

Said rice cracker promptly found itself inhaled when a golden hand shot through said roof and grabbed his head.

"GET THE FUCK IN HERE AND PAY FOR THE SINS OF YOUR BLOOD, YOU DAMN BASTARD!"

"Shit," Garp summarized weakly before he was pulled up and out of his office.

-o-​

"To reiterate, ladies and gentlemen of the world, that sound you just heard was us breaking down the gates of Enies. Lobby."

"PFFFT!"

"AGH, SERIOUSLY!?"/"THIS IS DRY CLEAN, YOU ASS!"

Ace ignored the protests of the two captains he'd sprayed his drink over as he stared at the Transponder Snail on the table in naked awe.

"I imagine that many of you must be severely confused about the series of events that led us to this moment, huh? Well, let me backtrack a bit. See, earlier today, the World Government made the absolutely mon-u-mental mistake of stealing one of our crewmates from us. Said crewmate was none other than our mystery member whose identity we've been obscuring up until now: our archaeologist, Nico Robin."

"WHAT!?" Squard yelped in shock. "The Demon of fucking Ohara!? Christ, does your brother have a death wish or—!?"

CRACK!

"YEOW!" the shark-toothed captain yowled, falling back with an impressive knot on his forehead. "What the hell—?!" he started to get out before freezing as he noticed the rod of metal pointed between his eyes.

"Watch it," Ace scowled viciously as he swayed his pipe back and forth, forcing the captain to trace it with his gaze. "That's my little brother's crewmate you're talking about. And besides that, the whole 'sins of the parent' shit is so stupid that I only expect Marines to be dumb enough to use it. Don't let me catch you being that stupid ever again." Pulling the pipe back a few inches, he lit a flame on the end of it. "Got it?"

Squard swallowed in terror as the foreign will cracked over his mind before nodding dumbly. "Got it…"

"Good," Ace snorted as he put his pipe back down. "Now shut up and listen."

"Now, mind you," Cross continued in a conversational tone. "I'm not going to give an ultimatum. We are…" Cross trailed off into a derisive chuckle. "Oh, we are so far past that. This is a statement of pure fact. An… An example, if you will. We're going to take a leaf out of the pages of the big black book of piracy! Only…"

The tactician scowled viciously. "It's not the edition you were hoping for. We're tearing this straight out of the Four Emperors' personal playbook: you touch one of ours? We fuck you up. This goes beyond a mere rescue mission, this… this is nothing short of a crusade. We are going to pummel the men stationed here. We are going to take back our archaeologist. And besides making the World Government look like the idiots they are in the process? We are going to BURN THIS ISLAND TO THE BEDROCK AND CAST IT INTO THE ABYSS IT'S HANGING OVER, SENDING IT RIGHT BACK TO WHERE IT FUCKING BELONGS! WHO'S WITH ME!?"

"YEAH!" A chorus of warped and distorted voices cheered at once.

Whitey Bay and Squard could only gape at the snail in mute awe, but though Ace mirrored their expressions for a moment, a different sort of look came into his eyes very quickly as he got to his feet.

"Set sail for Banaro Island."

The two other captains shot questioning glances his way.

"Ace?" Whitey asked.

"Cross said that Blackbeard would be on Banaro Island the next time Luffy's bounty shot up. If this doesn't make that happen, nothing will." The New World captains shot back when Ace suddenly burst into a bonfire. "It's time for Teach to pay for what he did to Thatch!" The Second Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirate shot a furious glare at his comrades. "WE SET SAIL NOW!"

-o-​

"Now, rest assured, oh people of the world…" I chuckled into the mic I was clutching. "I won't just leave you all on that. Matter of fact, you're all going to get front row seats to the first act of true justice to occur on this island since its conception! I can't promise it will be uninterrupted, sadly, but I'll do my darndest to make this show as constant as possible. Don't touch those dials, listeners..." I rammed the mic back into its cradle, making sure that it was facing outwards and thus didn't hang up. "This is going to be the show of the century."

With that, I strode forward to stand alongside Usopp, Paulie, and Zambai and join them in eyeing the sheer mass of people arrayed before us.

"So," I started. "What're we looking at here?"

"2,513 individual soldiers," Soundbite provided in an analytical tone. "1,708 Marine soldiers, 805 WORLD GOVERNMENT AGENTS." He then gained an impish grin. "Not counting those who are running away, OR THOSE SNIPERS WHOSE EARDRUMS I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF DEVASTATING."

"Good snail," I chuckled as I petted his shell.

"Best friend!" he cackled back as he preened from the attention.

"And on our side, we have two King Bulls, two giants, the fifty-five members of the Franky Family, two of Galley-La's foremen, the Straw Hat Pirates sans Straw Hat himself, and the four of us?" Paulie confirmed as he slowly wound coils of rope around his knuckles.

"Doesn't seem fair, does it?" Zambai asked morosely as he tapped his bazooka in his palm.

"No, it really doesn't," Usopp shook his head regretfully as he loaded up his Kabuto's pouch. "These poor bastards don't even stand a chance."

"Please…" I scoffed as I hefted Lassoo onto my shoulder with one hand and flicked my baton out with the other.

"You say that as though they ever did."

Xomniac AN: "What would be a good expression for a giant concentrating to fake an accent?" I never thought I'd find myself asking that question, and yet I nonetheless did while writing this chapter.

Hornet AN: Sorry for the delay. Real life issues again, on all of us but especially Xomniac.

Xomniac AN: Damn my family pulling me away for dinner, what's wrong with instant noodles, huh!? (Just kidding, love you mom, it was great to see you!)

Patient AN: *Rolls eyes.* Buuut it's still within seven days of our previous chapter, so I'm sure you're not too upset.

Hornet AN: August 3rd wasn't seven days ago.

Xomniac AN: Well then shit.

Patient AN: My mistake: it's still within fourteen days of our previous chapter, so we're not behind schedule this time.

 

[Krazyfan1]

Absolutely BRILLIANT!!

 

[Coshiua]

This is going to be awesome.

 

[Varja]

glorious.

 

[Backlash177]

Let the Absolute Chaos begin!! *Cackles Maniacally*.

 

[Backlash177]

Silence for a moment. Then a window blasted open out of nowhere and a note slapped me in the face. Pulling it off with nary a flinch, I scanned over the words and exhaled wearily. "'Just do what you do, and maybe if I'm amused enough, I'll give you half a chance. Otherwise, you'll have to go through what Prince Bellett did if you want to save her.'"

Click to shrink...

Who's this and what did he go through?.

 

[Beyogi]

Who's this and what did he go through?.

Click to shrink...

Apparently he got ka-girled by Ivankov.

 

[Backlash177]

Apparently he got ka-girled by Ivankov.

Click to shrink...

The reactions of Cross, Boss and The Monster Trio make perfect sense now.

 

[Mockingly-Tricky]

And so it begins.

 

[Beyogi]

The reactions of Cross, Boss and The Monster Trio make perfect sense now.

Click to shrink...

It's not like Ivankov can't reverse his transformations. At worst they'd have to break into impel down to get him/her out.

 

[00mega]

"And on our side, we have two King Bulls, two giants, the fifty-five members of the Franky Family, two of Galley-La's foremen, the Straw Hat Pirates sans Straw Hat himself, and the four of us?" Paulie confirmed as he slowly wound coils of rope around his knuckles.

Click to shrink...

I guess Water 7 is going to join Alabasta in open revolt against the WG. Either Paulie or Cross just outed the Galley-La's involvement at Enies Lobby to the whole world. In canon, Franky took the fall for everybody from Water 7. That can't happen anymore.

 

[Void Traveler]

Think Cross will get Spady to come clean about Robin's home, and what Lava-Boy did to the civilians on that ship?

 

[tarrangar]

It's not like Ivankov can't reverse his transformations. At worst they'd have to break into impel down to get him/her out.

Click to shrink...

You don't want to have any plan that relies on that monster.

(I really hate Ivankov, because to me at least for all that Ivankov is supposedly an Okama, with what s/he does, s/he should really be the antichrist to Transsexuals, all the power of a prophesized savior, but instead of using it to finally use it to erase the suffering of Transsexuals, by finally allowing them to align their physical sex with their mental one, s/he uses it to knock more people out of alignment between their mental and physical sex, Transsexuality is after all best described to someone who aren't Transsexual as being hit with a gender change prior to birth, so what Ivankov is doing is basically imposing what Transsexuals have to suffer with all their lives later in life.)

I myself is lucky enough that I have been born with my mental and physical gender strongly aligned, and this is why I sympathize with Transsexuals, because I can only imagine a small part of how uncomfortable being changed into a female would be for me, and that's what Transsexuals are going though all their lives, because biology messed up and made their body the wrong sex before they were born.

The Okama way in the end is supposed to be about choice, that just because Biology messed up prior to your birth don't mean you have to accept it, but that should also mean that you also get to choose that biology didn't mess up, and you are the sex you want to be, and Ivankov takes that choice away from people and laugh about it, this is why I believe Ivankov is One Pieces greatest traitor to the Okama way.

 

[The Fourth Monado]

GLORIOUS.

 

[Promenius]

Once again realization hit me, and once again I looked over at Vivi, only this time I was very intently focused on her necklace. "Vivi…" I whispered. "You said that the Grace was lost and the Rage and Desert were stolen, right?" I didn't even wait for her to nod. "And… seeing as the Desert is currently in Impel Down, Pell and Chaka are still in Alubarna, and I'm assuming that the Rage and Grace are both Paramecia, going how the names have all been pretty self-explanatory…" I swallowed heavily. "Just… what kind of a Logia do you have in your necklace?"

Vivi smiled grimly as she held the metal orb up. "I didn't expect anything less. This is the Storm of Alabasta, more commonly renowned as the Logia-type Gust-Gust Fruit… which takes the form of a pomegranate."

I frowned for a few seconds, trying to work out why that was relevant. Then the penny dropped, along with my jaw.

"An aril…" I breathed.

Click to shrink...

Xomniac, Patient, Hornet... Seeing as you've now revealed this in the story, I feel the overwhelming urge to break my silence:

*Deep breath*

I FUCKING CALLED IT!

I called it so hard I was asked to edit a previous post of mine, just to keep the surprise for other readers!

Mmmm, feels good to finally get that off of my chest.

*Wallows in mud, namely the mud of knowing when you're right*

 

[Tsaurn]

Revelation about Sirocco! Finally! And while I'm moderately pleased about having headcanon confirmed that Alabasta keeps devil fruits that way and on what the pendant contains, I'm thrilled about the aril detail and the Crocodile bit. I have to wonder if he knew ahead of time or just took advantage when peope reacted or if he even knew (one of those things where its so intrinsic to Alabasta they don't bother explaining it to outsiders as its a blindspot they don't already know. Or maybe the knowledge was limited to the kinds of circles Vivi ran in and not the general public).

Rogue Island Water 7! If or rather when Iceburg gets it to stop sinking possibly Mobile Islandship Water 7! (Unless that screws up the Seatrain. I love the seatrain. Long live Puffing Tom!) Perfect for the likes of revolutionary minded folks. Allied with Alabasta and King Cobra now has a fleet to go with his army, and potentially Iceberg's trade connections taking the edge of the drought recovery/threat of future droughts. How likely are the other islands connected to Water 7 likely to go rogue along with them? Pucci, San Faldo and St. Poplar? Enies Lobby will be sunk or other wise destroyed, but the Gates of Justice and that current will still be there, so maybe that track will have to be destroyed or moved? What do we even know about those islands? 'St.' as in 'Saint' like the Tenryuubito? So proWG? Or was that the island that had a black market, so antiWG (unless said market existed for the benefit of the World Nobles?).

 

[Joshua Coffin]

This is, as always, absolutely awesome! But, ah, small note-

"Blueno is next. In the story, Luffy wiped the floor with him as soon as he started using Gear Second. Really, the most threatening thing about him is his Door-Door Fruit, especially the fact that he can make doors out of the—"

Click to shrink...

This was said with non-crew in the room. Was that a mix-up, or did Cross just make a mistake...?

 

[IceStar]

For some reason I just feel that Kaku and Kalifa will switch devil fruits now due to the bubbly comment and due to Cross's advice.

 

[bzzt3421]

I'm going to laugh, if due to Cross's comments about her being more bubbly next time she's on an undercover mission, Kalifa decides to pick the banana, because the grapes remind her of what Cross said.

 

[Moonlit Lord]

I'm finding it hilarious no one commented on the random Yokozuna interrupt when Cross finally got his transciever back.

 

[Mockingly-Tricky]

Don't question the Yokozuna. For it is HERESY!

 

[God Of Urging]

Soooo, Conis is an old-school FPS player character now? Cool.

 

[ElusivePenguin]

Yay! I was so happy to see this update last night...to bad I had to sleep lol but even though I had to wait to read this chapter it was worth it ^_^

 

[The Patient One]

I'm finding it hilarious no one commented on the random Yokozuna interrupt when Cross finally got his transciever back.

Click to shrink...

Ahem...

A BIG LIPPED SUMO FROG MOMENT!