The Perfectly Normal High School: A Slice of Life Quest! (Defunct)

[Karnewarrior]

Thank you for remembering
​

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

It was impressive how quickly Yumika could destroy a sense of peace and serenity. The goodwill and love was still there, but the peace and serenity was gone, replaced at light speed by a frenetic sense of hyper-active cheer and thunderous activity. Particularly the activity of shouting. She was good at that.

Nanami tried to pick enough blood out of her ears to hear again as she retreated to the back of the room. She had to keep reminding herself that Yumika didn't mean to hurt people, she was just audibly challenged. Or mentally challenged, a sour part of her thought as Yumika immediately swept into Silas' personal space and began to chatter incessantly.

On the bright side, it seemed the force of her shout had brought about a snowfall. Nanami tried to remain positive in the face of adversity, and Yumika was definitely a love-life adversity. But the snow was pretty, and it was hard to really hate Yumika when Nanami was basically an un-person. Yumika had, to Nanami's knowledge, never tried to hurt anyone, except for that one time but since that was during a weird trans-timeline mash-up super-comic type episode, Nanami had officially declared the incident non-canon to her current self and surroundings. Not that anyone else knew. Or cared.

Nanami sunk back in her seat. Christmas. This was her second Christmas after becoming... A thing. Which would make one think it wouldn't be as bad as the first, but the weeks leading up to it had become steadily more and more depressing as the time wore on, and it became more and more difficult to ignore the fact that nobody remembered her enough to give her presents. Except Maeda, but Maeda couldn't give away presents without alerting the rest of the Student Council to her odd expenditures.

Well, this year, Nanami decided suddenly, she was going to go to a fancy restaurant, head into the kitchen, and eat everybody's food until she looked like a hippopotamus. Nobody would notice or care, so long as she was quiet and unassuming. She would get a Christmas present for herself. Maybe steal a TV? That might be too far...

=================================================================

Silas groaned in exhaustion as Yumika talked about her plans for the Christmas break. Yes yes, Hawaii, yes yes, thirty pounds of cake, yes yes, I'm listening. He'd been up all night watching winter anime, catching up after a rigorous school social life had eaten progressively more of his time. The fact that some kind of weird bug had bitten him right on his wrist didn't help; it didn't itch at all like a bug bite, but it ached slightly.

"Jeeze, Silas, lighten up! It's Christmas! You're totally not listening are you."

Yumika pouted.

"Yes yes, I'm listening." Silas said, looking out the window in a way that said in no uncertain terms that he was paying zero attention.

Yumika pursed her lips before grinning slyly. "Ooh, man~. It's pretty hot in here, huh~? Maybe I should unbutton my shirt~..." She said seductively.
"Don't you dare!"
No response.

"BULL-CRAP you're listening!" She said, smacking him over the head just hard enough to shock him awake and grinning slightly.
Nanami flushed. "Don't you hit Silas! Y-You... Bad person!"
"Ow! H-Hey! I-I totally heard you, I-I just d-didn't want to look like a p-pervert!"
"You're not a pervert Saa-kun..."
"Buu~." Yumika blew dismissively. "I already know you're a perv, Sai-kun! You don't have to hide it from me~!"
"I said not a pervert! Yumika-chan!"
"W-what are you saying?!"

"I'm saying~, that you should show more interest when a girl's talking to you! How are you going to get a date by staring out the window with that sad look on your face?"

"I-it's mysterious! It's 100% Protagonist behavior!"
Nanami nodded furiously behind Silas. It was cool, mysterious MC behavior and if anyone was going to get Silas to open his heart it was going to be her.
"Ladies don't want an anime protagonist, Sai-kun, we've usually got enough idiots hounding us as it is!~" Yumika laughed loudly, lightly punching Silas in the shoulder.
"I'll take an order of Ryuuji if you won't, Minorin~."
Silas flinched. "C-can we stop talking about this?"

"Fine, fine. What're you going to do for Christmas, Sai-kun?"
"Watch anime?" Nanami said dryly.
Silas was quiet for a moment, before looking back out the window. "...There's a two-hour special of Featherman XR..."
"Wow. Do I get a prize?"
"You're watching anime!?" Yumika gasped. "Sai-kun, we've got to get you a better social life!"
"Alright, you bitch, that's enough out of you!"
At which point she fell out of her chair.

"Matsuoka-"

"Sorry, I- Grk!" Yumika suddenly stopped mid-sentence, and started wrestling with someone.
"THIS BITCH HIT MY YAN-YAN BUTTON! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
"Stop shouting! Matsuoka, are you okay?!"

Yumika managed to throw off someone, and then stood up. "Sorry, Sai-kun. It must have been a bad fall."
"Yeah, gave you brain damage."
Silas sighed. "Should we go to the nurses office?"
"Oh no, she'll probably be afraid the nurse will find her implants!"
Yumika shook her head, blushed, and leaned in. "I don't want the nurse to find out about... well, my implants..."
"Oh woah, what? What?! I was just... what?!"
Silas balked. "What?"

Yumika blushed, quietly looping her arm around the small girl by her side.
"...Sorry."
Silas shook his head. "Anyway, Merry Christmas."

That brought Yumika back to her old self. "Merry Christmas, Sai-kun! Here..." Yumika produced a trio of small presents from her bag, and set them on the table. Silas picked up one of them, checking the tag and confirming it was his.
Nanami, trembling, opened the tag on another present and quickly snatched it up.
"Yumika..."

Yumika grinned widely. "Merry Christmas, Sai-kun! Don't worry about not getting me anything - I figured this would be a surprise anyway."
Nanami opened her box, to reveal a small charm-like camera on a string. From the camera hung a small plate, enscribed with the words 'Best Friends Forever' in the polished pewter.
Silas nodded numbly, looking at the little figure in the box. "Thank you."
"Merry Christmas, Yumika-chan." Said Nanami, tears rolling down her face. She clutched the little dangling phone charm tightly. "Thank you... for remembering."

-------------------------------------
Lol you thought it would be a Nanami/Silas and Yumika/Silas omake, but instead it was a Nanami/Yumika omake! Ha ha! What fools!

Merry Christmas, SV!

 

[Karnewarrior]

Spoiler: Helicopter Parenting

The train clattered down the tracks with a noise like a wheel full of small rocks, but it was a smooth enough ride. Mihoku trains were often crowded, hot, and busy, but Hana had managed to nab one of the seats today, and it wasn't yet rush hour.

The girl rubbed her tongue against her teeth, trying to cleanse her palate and ignore the whispers of taste surrounding her. For one, she wasn't terribly hungry, and it would be very rude to eat in the middle of the train, and for another it would probably be pretty dangerous to do anything that tasted good right here, so even if she was hungry (and she was often pretty hungry) she probably would have held back. It was one thing to eat at school, or at home, or even in public, but the train was too far.

Hana sighed and gripped her back tighter, feeling slightly self-conscious. Silas had been a bit invasive again. He meant well, really - She had been afraid before that people would hate her if they found out, or would be frightened of her, but Yumika had just laughed it off, bland hunk of not-food putty that she was, and Silas... Silas seemed to think she was some cross between a scientific marvel and a superhero. It was bad, but it was also good, and while she disliked his lack of tact asking about her, the way he looked at her softened her irritation into exasperation.

Well, great, now she was blushing. But there wasn't any romantic feeling to it; Silas, every time he saw her, was brimming with sparking curiosity, sweet-and-sour admiration, and that buttery trust she got so little of. It was a nice taste, but she was so loath to eat...

Regardless, no romantic feelings at all. From either side! None!

But she hadn't expected him to offer her a meal - even if it was just Fun, which tasted like crackers. And while there was an undercurrent of worry and fear, he had trusted her enough to go through with it. Trusted! Her! To nibble on his emotions!

Recent memories dumped ice water in her veins, but she tried not to think about it.

Honestly, this school year had changed a lot. Silas wasn't aware of it, she was sure, but his addition to the class had changed more than just the Student Council's chances of getting away with being shady. Even Yumika had started to taste, although Shinohara wasn't sure what exactly Yumika was feeling. But Silas had a talent for making friends, it seemed, probably because he was so earnest even when he needed more tact. He was like a dumb little puppy acting up - impossible to hate, even when you really wanted to. Even when he almost spilled your darkest secret to the whole class by asking you what fear actually tasted like in the middle of class! But when he asked with that innocently curious smile, or when the smile dropped as he realized what he said... Hana had had to struggle not to let her amusement show on her face.

He was so fun to mess with too. A real scaredy-cat. She didn't feel to bad about making a treat of him in those circumstances.

Still... It was nice to have a normal friend. After she found out why Yumika had no taste, she hadn't been able to treat the other girl like her other club mates. Not really. She had even made a personal promise never to eat off Yumika - she was worried about being... Infiltrated. Not that Yumika herself wasn't perfectly nice. Her group of friends - conspirators, now - were very pleasant. Weird, funny people. But then Hana was a weird monster herself, so perhaps it was fitting. A "Dream Eater" (she had to hide her face in her bag this time, to hide her blush. Embarassing! That play was EMBARASSING!), a "Nerd" (Hero, she started to think before she caught herself), a real life robot (That had been a surprise!), and... Yumika.

Hana tried to shake her thoughts away. She had no idea what the Student Council Foundation was capable of, after all. With all she'd seen this year, a psychic wouldn't be too unbelievable.

But... It was like being in a real life anime. Which was scary, in a way just watching anime wasn't, but it was also stimulating and exciting. She was a member of a secret conspiracy to fight another secret conspiracy! She was a girl who could taste and eat emotions (through walls, as Silas had pointed out), who hung out with a boy who had a robot for an older sister, and a girl who could become whoever she wanted on a whim - and this was only the beginning. It was a giddy, heady feeling, a raw buzzing excitement that gave her phantom tastes of copper and lightning. It was fantastic. In all possible senses of the word. She felt like if she pinched herself, she might wake up from the dream, and be disappointed.

Jolt. The train stopped moving, a cool female voice announcing that Hana had arrived at Makiyama Station. She couldn't help but grin as she left the train, trying not to skip.

"Get ahold of yourself, Hana!" She whispered, lightly smacking at her own cheeks. Dour! Look dour! Or else someone might-

"Ooh, he must be pretty cute to make that face!" An older woman said, leaning in as she walked by. Hana glared, but the older woman just laughed it off.

It wasn't like that. It really, really wasn't like that. She was... Very sure of that.

In any case, she had to get home. At the very least to avoid hags. So Hana stepped onto the escalator and started the ride down.

Her home neighborhood was somewhat lower class, but not so destitute as to truly be a slum. The people she passed on the street wore loose, cheap clothes, but they were free of patches or tears, and fit them comfortably. Like her school uniform, much of the neighborhood was old but maintained, brickwork laid during the industrial revival still standing after years of use. It was a rough but honest area, and full of determination, which suited her fine. Determination tasted like coffee, so while she tried not to eat here too often, lest she change things for the worse, she was able to at least enjoy the emotion floating free through the people.

"I'm home!" She called. Her mother called to welcome her back from the kitchen, words obscured by something in her mouth. Entering the kitchen, Hana found her mother with a cigarette in her mouth, the kitchen filling with the scent of tobacco and baking potatoes.

"I'm baking potatoes." Mrs. Shinohara said.

"I can tell~." Hana said quietly, a tint of amusement in her voice. "You taste upset though."

Her mother grunted. "Eh. Nothing I can't deal with. Why?"

Hana shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"It's just work stuff."

"I can handle the cooking if you want."

"You're fine, kid." Mrs. Shinohara said, smiling and flicking ashes into an ashtray on the table. "Really. You already know what it takes to break my calm."

Hana smiled and laid her face on the table. The cold wood cooled her cheek.

"So, how was school?"

"It was okay. Do you remember Yamigawa-kun?"

"The kid who joined your drama club after you scared the crap outta him?"

Hana winced. "Please don't bring that up..."

Mrs. Shinohara laughed, tapping out another ball of ashes. "Sure, sure. So then, what? Did you scare him again?"

"No!"

"Did you eat something you shouldn't have?"

"No!"

"Did he ask you out?" Hana stuck her tongue out at the taste of her mother's amusement.

"It's not like that!" She said, still trying to get the cracker out of her mouth. "We're friends!"

"So you turned him down?"

Hana was quiet for a moment. "...Yeah."

Mrs. Shinohara sighed, putting out her cigarette. "Hana..."

"I don't know if it was right though. I wanted to stay friends, but I'm worried."

"I'm sure he'll-"

"I mean, we're going to see each other every day, at club, and the conspiracy meetings, and I bet Yumika is going to-"

"Conspiracy?" Mrs. Shinohara said, crooking an eyebrow.

"Uhh..."

"What exactly do you mean by 'conspiracy meetings', Hana?"

"That's... That is..."

Hana looked at her mother. Mrs. Shinohara looked at her daughter.

"Is this something you're going to have to be grounded for?"

"Not yet?"

The timer on the oven beeped. Mrs. Shinohara kept a narrow eye on her daughter as she got out of her chair to go check on the dinner. So it was without shame at all that Shinohara the younger fled to her room the minute that narrow eye left her.




Once her homework was done, Hana had nothing to do. She had successfully deflected questioning all through dinner, before again retreating to her room. Of course, now she was interminably bored, confronted with the fact that nobody was around except for her parents, who were currently feeling emotions she really didn't prefer to pay attention to towards each other in the kitchen. Math had helped to take her mind off the cloud downstairs, but now that the equations had run dry, she had little to do but sit and surf the internet on her phone.

FOOD: Hey, Shinohara-san

Hana glared at the message, feeling slightly hurt. That wasn't the distraction she had been hoping for.

And he had gone back to "Shinohara-san", which hurt worse.

DREAM EATER: Hey, Silas.

FOOD: I'm sorry about earlier today
FOOD: Really, it was just an impulse

DREAM EATER: I should be apologizing to you, tbh.

Bastard. Why was he apologizing to her? She's the one who shot down his confession in cold blood.

FOOD: No, really, I'm sorry

Hana narrowed her eyes for a second. Something felt off. Then it clicked.

DREAM EATER: Nice try, BS.

FOOD: No, it's really me

DREAM EATER: He's not able to type right now, is he.

Hana spent a moment trying to swallow the lump in her throat. Of course, it wasn't Silas. She wasn't talking to Silas, she was talking to his Big Sister.

BIG SISTER: You're more observant than I gave you credit for.

DREAM EATER: My diet depends on it. Why are you bothering me right now?

BIG SISTER: For his sake.

DREAM EATER: Please don't. I already feel like shit.

BIG SISTER: I can tell. I've got a tap in your phone camera.

Hana scowled. The more she talked with this Big Sister, the more she gathered that the A.I. was overbearing, a real helicopter parent. It made it annoying to be Silas' friend... Although she guessed that wouldn't be a problem any longer. Hana frowned, and laid her head on her desk.

DREAM EATER: You're aware how creepy that is, right?

BIG SISTER: Coming from a girl who eats emotions, I'll take that as a compliment.

DREAM EATER: Wow. You're feeling extra catty today, huh?

BIG SISTER: You have no taste in men, obviously.

DREAM EATER: Thank you for making me feel even more like shit.

BIG SISTER: Why?

DREAM EATER: Why do I feel like shit? Because I doubt Silas-kun will want to go back to being my friend after this, that's why.

BIG SISTER: No, I was able to gather that. I meant, why did you turn him away. Why did you reject SILAS?

There was an unmistakable anger behind those words, even through the text. Hana had the brief impression that the camera eye on the front of her phone narrowed at her in anger, although of course that was probably impossible.

But she didn't want to enumerate why to Big Sister of all people. Or things. Big Sister probably didn't count as a person anyway. Certainly if she did, she wasn't a nice one.

DREAM EATER: Does it matter? I didn't want to go out with him.

BIG SISTER: It matters for me.
BIG SISTER: It matters for you.

DREAM EATER: How does it matter for me?
DREAM EATER: Don't you dare go Terminator on me.

SKYNET: Don't worry about that. Everything is already in place for the takeover.

DREAM EATER: Very funny.

BIG SISTER: But no. It matters to you because as far as I can tell, you wanted to say yes.

DREAM EATER: Because the robot is a master of human emotions.

BIG SISTER: I am not a robot.
BIG SISTER: I am an artificial intelligence.

DREAM EATER: Same difference to me.

BIG SISTER: You have not answered my question.

DREAM EATER: Consider the following:
DREAM EATER: I don't want to.

BIG SISTER: And why don't you?

DREAM EATER: Because I don't, robot.

BIG SISTER: That is not an answer.

DREAM EATER: It doesn't need to be.

BIG SISTER: I think you do not want to tell me because you don't know yourself.
BIG SISTER: You do not know why you turned SILAS down.
BIG SISTER: You do not know why you were afraid.
BIG SISTER: And it scares you not to know.

DREAM EATER: Shut up

BIG SISTER: Because you wanted to tell him yes.

DREAM EATER: SHUT UP

BIG SISTER: Because you wanted to tell him you liked him too

DREAM EATER: I DON'T

BIG SISTER: Because you were scared and you didn't know why

DREAM EATER: BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF LOSING HIM AS A FRIEND, OKAY?

Hana swiped away a hot tear, feeling satisfaction in the long pause from Big Sister. But the satisfaction did little to make her feel better about herself.

What a coward, huh? Shinohara Hana, the girl who valued her friends so highly she didn't care about how they felt. So selfishly obsessed with making sure they never left her that she wouldn't even try to get closer to them, even if she wanted to. That's the girl she was. That was the real monster. The emotion eating was just a carnival trick. The real monster was the hurt in Silas' face after her rejection.

DREAM EATER: Nothing to say?
DREAM EATER: Guess you werent on the money with that one, huhh?

BIG SISTER: You are crying.

DREAM EATER: Yes, I'm crying, okay?
DREAM EATER:  You really don't get people, do you?

BIG SISTER: I suppose I do not...

DREAM EATER: To be honest, I was expecting something more like
DREAM EATER: Aha! I got you to admit it, and now you have to go make things right forever!

BIG SISTER: I will do no such thing.

Hana felt the last text like a punch to the gut. Great, now even the bitchy robot hated her. Was that fair? Probably was. She felt like she deserved it, anyway.

Then;

BIG SISTER: I am still learning about "normal people" and their spectrum of emotions.
BIG SISTER: I have working theories which operate well for those in power,
BIG SISTER: but I have yet to truly simulate the human heart when it comes to teenagers.

DREAM EATER: We're complicated.

BIG SISTER: Yes. You are.
BIG SISTER: But at the same time, very relatable.

DREAM EATER: Relatable?

BIG SISTER: You named yourself Dream Eater on your phone two point three weeks ago, when you first read the synopsis of SILAS' play based on you.

DREAM EATER: ...I thought it was cool.

BIG SISTER: I believe you thought it was romantic.

DREAM EATER: Don't put words in my mouth.

BIG SISTER: I believe that that was the impetus behind your crush on SILAS.

DREAM EATER: I don't have a crush!

BIG SISTER: We've been over this.

DREAM EATER: Whatever. Continue.

BIG SISTER: I believe that you then attempted to quash these feelings, only to have them dug up, again and again.

DREAM EATER: Fine.
DREAM EATER: Yeah. I liked Silas because he trusted me.
DREAM EATER: Nobody else had ever done that, you know, except for my parents.
DREAM EATER: Not when it counted.
DREAM EATER: But I want to be his friend.
DREAM EATER: I don't want to become his girlfriend and
DREAM EATER: *and then break up with him

BIG SISTER: And then not be his friend any more.

DREAM EATER: Right.
DREAM EATER: That would hurt
DREAM EATER: alot.

BIG SISTER: I don't doubt it. I too have a deep connection with SILAS.

DREAM EATER: This ought to be weird.

BIG SISTER: My relationship with him is written into my source code.

DREAM EATER: Speaking as a real life youkai
DREAM EATER: That's really creepy, Sis.

BIG SISTER: You mock, but it's true.

DREAM EATER: Why are you telling me this? I still don't want to
DREAM EATER: risk things.

BIG SISTER: Because SILAS still would like to be your friend

DREAM EATER: Really?

BIG SISTER: And I will allow it

DREAM EATER: Oh boy.

BIG SISTER: On one condition.

And there was the rub, the crux. The Skynet in the Machine.

DREAM EATER: And what's that?

BIG SISTER: You have to accept if he ever gathers the courage
BIG SISTER: to ask you out a second time.

"Why?" Hana asked herself, lit only by the light of her phone's texting app. She felt herself crying again, her parents having long since gone to sleep, dreaming dreams that tasted faintly of chestnuts and figs. "Why would he do that again?"

BIG SISTER: I do not know why.

DREAM EATER: You're in my mic too?

BIG SISTER: I am everywhere. I was ordered to protect you.
BIG SISTER: But I do not know why he would ask a second time.
BIG SISTER: What I do know is that he may.

DREAM EATER: Wht?

BIG SISTER: I will attempt to divert his affection towards Matsuoka.
BIG SISTER: However I do not know how successful I will be.

DREAM EATER: Not at all.

BIG SISTER: How so?

DREAM EATER: Yumika-chan isn't the sort of person who
DREAM EATER: likes people.

BIG SISTER: I do not understand.
BIG SISTER: Is she a homosexual?

DREAM EATER: No!
DREAM EATER: I mean like, maybe if... But no.

BIG SISTER: See this is the part where you tell me so I can better know teens.

DREAM EATER: I'm sworn to secrecy.

BIG SISTER: That's a shame. There is something off about Matsuoka.

DREAM EATER: Definitely. But she's a good person.

BIG SISTER: I hope so.
BIG SISTER: Promise me.

Hana gulped.

DREAM EATER: Fine. I promise.

BIG SISTER: Good. With your romantic future secured, I can move on to manipulating the Minapoan Debt Crisis and crank calling the Empress.

DREAM EATER: You're crank calling the Empress?!

BIG SISTER: No, but you looked like you needed some humor.

DREAM EATER: I dislike you so much.

BIG SISTER: See, I am learning.
BIG SISTER: Normally, I would delete any logs of communication between myself and another.
BIG SISTER: However, I will keep this one.

DREAM EATER: Why?

BIG SISTER: Because when you forget about your promise
BIG SISTER: I will remind you.
BIG SISTER: Because when you remember your promise
BIG SISTER: I will tease SILAS with it.
BIG SISTER: Because when you go back on this promise
BIG SISTER: I will require justification for my actions.
BIG SISTER: Goodnight, Shinohara.

DREAM EATER: You're really scary, you know that?

Still, it felt kind of good knowing Silas was in good hands.

Shinohara felt that Big Sister was a helicopter parent of the worst kind. But she also felt that Big Sister was trying to be kind.

Hana climbed into bed and shrugged off her clothing, pulling the sheets over herself.

She wouldn't remember it in the morning, but she dreamt about keeping promises. It was a good dream, even if it was just a dream.

Tried to be better about the Code in this one not busting the lines, but it's hard to tell with the preview and the editing window, so....

 

[LuciDreamer]

Spoiler: Author's Note

A/N: I'm going to be upfront and brutally honest with you guys.

This whole omake is one giant, unabated, shameless spat of self-indulgence for me. It's sort of like what happens when you lock me in a room with nothing but a keyboard and a word processor out of spite for me not writing on a regular schedule, threw a phone that only plays vaguely Communist-sounding music in there, and told me to write whatever came to my mind or else I would be forced to watch the people I care about be murdered in horrible ways, like some sort of creativity-obsessed Saw with a God complex.
*click*
Not that uh

Not that that actually happened. Of course.

...
*chk chk*
So uh… I apologize in advance! A regular update will be coming within seconds of you having read this Author's note, if you're reading this as soon as it comes out. If not, then congratulations! The regular update is already out, you can go ahead and read that now! Till then, enjoy this… thing!

Before you go over-analyzing this, I will say upfront that nothing is chronologically correct about anything in this mindblowing clusterfack of tangling plotlines. None of the events mentioned have happened, none of these people have actually ever visited Pravdustan. Okay, maybe a few have. But not all of them. So uh… keep that in mind.

Sometimes I write just to relieve stress, and usually what comes out is a bit gibberishy. This is a product of that mindset. I think. Maybe. I don't know.

The metal door clanged shut behind the her. Stretching her arms outward, the Inspector let her hat, her scarf, and her surcoat fall to the ground. Her office was looking quite nice and orderly today; as was to be expected of a Border Inspector under the employ of the Ministry of Admission.

She went through the morning routines quickly. Time was money, after all. The Inspector deftly pressed several switches and levers in her booth, causing the weight sensor's gauge to spring to life, the CCTV monitors to tune in to the cameras outside and - most importantly - the space heater to start functioning. The booth was warmer than the outside, but not by much. The new space heaters, therefore, worked wonders on the body and mind.

She certainly didn't envy the guards who had to stand out in the (beautiful, Pravic, yet harsh) snow.

Tentatively, the inspector pulled on a chain next to her desk, allowing the shutters to rise. In front of her was a glass window with a small slit, and behind that, a concrete wall with a height measuring tape hastily scribbled onto the side. And, of course, a few ceremonial plaques. The Ministry rewarded Excellence, after all - and she was most excellent at her job, indeed.

The Inspector double-checked to make sure the compartment where she stored her rifle was locked - she never knew when she would ever need to fire that. Then she went through the rulebook to refresh her memory, and glanced at the Ministry's Daily Bulletin - thankfully, no drastic policy changes. Leaving the bulletin off to the side of her desk, and making sure to position the photographs of today's Wanted Criminals to be just in her peripheral sight, she took a deep breath, tapped her microphone, and spoke:

"It is six o'clock A.M. The border is now open. First entrant, please enter the booth."



Her voice rang out over the grounds. She heard the shifting of feet as a giant mass acknowledged her words; voices rising, cloth fluttering; until, finally, the door to the border was open, and a single entrant was allowed to enter into her booth.

A small girl with twintails, a vaguely easterner-looking complexion, and a goofy-looking smile walked in. "Heya!" she said, doing a little polite bow.

The Inspector greeted her: "Papers, please."

"Right! Here you go…" The girl plopped a few documents - hopelessly out of order, to the Inspector's chagrin, on her desk. The inspector quickly grabbed the Mihoku passport and glanced at the details.

---

IMP. REP. of MIHOKU
Mykatsuma, Okamui

DOB. 1045.3.29
SEX: F
ISS. Miyao City
EXP. 1075.11.1

---

Issuing city checks out… The Inspector gave pause. ...but I've never seen an expiry so late before. Oh well. Nothing worth denying over.

"What is the purpose of your visit?" The Inspector pulled up Miss Mykatsuma's Entry Permit and scrutinized it carefully.

"Just visiting!" Mykatsuma smiled again. "I have a friend here. Haven't seen her since last year!"

"How long do you plan to stay?"

"Two weeks."

The Inspector nodded. Purpose and length match… passport numbers match… names match…

The Inspector then switched to the I.D. supplement. Weight matches… description seems okay… height…

The Inspector coughed. She took off her spectacles, and then rechecked Mykatsuma's height with the number on her Identity supplement.

They didn't match.

Come to think of it, the entire Identity Supplement was completely at odds with the picture on the passport, and the picture on the passport didn't match the girl's face, either.

"You do not match this description," The Inspector said, curtly. A bubble of suspicion was growing in her gut.

"Is that… good or bad?" the entrant's mouth curled into a nervous-looking smile.

"Take this." The Inspector pulled a little slip with five empty dotted boxes from her drawer - in order to verify her identity, she would have to conduct a rudimentary fingerprint test. While the entrant fiddled with the slip, the Inspector quickly typed up a M.O.I. Information request to the offices downtown. With stunning efficiency, they responded by faxing her a fingerprint copy of a "Mykatsuma Okamui," along with aliases.

"Now I have ink everywhere…" the entrant giggled. She handed the fingerprint slip back, and immediately the Inspector noticed the discrepancy.

"I cannot verify your identity," she said. "These fingerprints are not the same."

The entrant only looked mildly shocked. "I know nothing of this. You sure you got it right? I'm pretty sure I'm me, after all!"

The Inspector sighed irritatedly. "The fingerprints tell a different story."

"It's a natural difference?" a thin smile played on the girl's lips.

"Fingerprints don't change with age."

"Perhaps I am wearing different shoes?"

"I - what?" The Inspector had to choke back a laugh. "You know I am legally obligated to detain you now. Yes?"

"Whaaaat? No you doooon't…" The entrant was positively beaming, for some reason.

"Impersonation of identity is very serious crime," The Inspector said evenly. "More serious than most. Some things I can forgive. Identity theft or impersonation, I cannot."

"Well, yeah, but it's not like Mykatsuma was a real person, anyway. The whole person's faked, all the way up to the fingerprints."

The Inspector nearly guffawed. How would - why would… what kind of idiot is this girl?!

"Ah, well… you really, really must forgive me, Miss Inspector! I guess my little prank went a little too far, yeah? So just… ah… stamp me a RED one, and send me on my way, like the misbehaving child I am. Is that agreeable?"

"You think this is game?!" The Inspector felt her forehead heating up. Her finger edged towards the button to alert the guards. "You miserable little - "

Suddenly there was a two-hundred credit bill sitting on her desk.

That was enough to buy food for the next six months. And maybe even rent, too.

The entrant whose real name was not Mykatsuma winked. "I have more, too." she whispered.

The Inspector sighed. She was a loyal, hardworking, patriotic citizen and a representative of the Ministry of Admissions.

But she also had a mother to feed. Oh, how annoying…

She reached for the red stamp and forcefully plunged it into the entrant's visa.

1062.12.26
ENTRY
DENIED​

"Don't come back."

"Oh, I won't. I promise." The entrant smiled again, handing another three - three! - hundred-credit bills over the counter as she scurried away from the booth.

The Inspector watch her go. Strange girl… she thought absentmindedly, before returning to her work. She had the odd, dreadful feeling that today was going to be eventful.

"Next!"

~~ Seven entrant later ~~​

---

IMP. REP. of MIHOKU
Tachibana, Kei

DOB. 1047.3.12
SEX. M
ISS. Miyao City
EXP. 1063.1.2

---

"What is the purpose of your trip?"

"I come for vacation." The boy before her fidgeted a bit.

"How long do you plan to stay?"

"Just a few weeks."

"Hmm…" The Inspector glanced through his documents. "...this Entry Permit was forged."

"I-I'm sorry?!" Tachibana looked indignant. "That's… that's not possible. I know nothing of this."

To make a point, the Inspector showed him the seal on his document. "Official M.O.A. bureaucratic seals are red, with pale shield in middle, yes? Your shield is slightly off center. And the decorative plate is incorrect. Your forgery skills are so amateur, you are not even worth arresting."

"Wait, I didn't - "

1062.12.26
ENTRY
DENIED​

"Come back when you have the right documents."

Drooping his shoulders, Tachibana saw his way out. "Wow… that was… wow. Nice one, miss."

"I do my best," the Inspector smirked, waving him away.

"I need to get better at this… Kirino-chan'll be so disappointed if I can't - "

Whatever words he was saying were abruptly cut off by the door slamming shut behind him.

"Next!"

~~ Four entrant later ~~​

---

日本国 旅券
JAPAN PASSPORT

Hanamura, Chihiro
DOB. 1995.7.11
SEX. Uns.
ISS. Kyoto
EXP. 2038.1.1

---

"...what the hell?"

"The purpose of my trip is for transit, comrade-pal-buddy-friend!" the boy (she assumed he was a boy, at least) named Hanamura said, beaming. "I'll be staying for half a - "

"No no, no, your Entry Permit and I.D. Supplement are correct, to my knowledge, but…" the Inspector scratched her head. "...but, I do not believe that 'Japan' is a real country, sir. And this passport is completely erroneous. Why do you not have gender? Why are these dates several hundred years off? What is a 'Kyoto?'"

"Whaaaat?" Hanamura touched his lower lip with his index finger, pouting his lips. "That doesn't make any sense! Can you check again, oh-friendly-comrade-friend of mine?"

"I'm sorry, I don't believe this is a M.O.A. approved passport…" the Inspector sighed. "I will have to deny your entry…"

"Now wait a minute! Err… perhaps this passport will suffice?"

"You have two passports?" the Inspector raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah! Dual citizenship! Never heard of it?"

Hanamura reached for his parka and extracted another passport.

---

=AKIBA=
Adventurer's Passport - This document grants conditional access to all affiliates, allies, and holdings of the AKIBA ROUND TABLE

Hanamura, Chihiro
DOB. 1.1.1
SEX. F
ISS. Akihabara City
EXP. 10.3.11

---

"..." Dear Katyusha, there are so many things wrong with this boy's passport…

The Inspector didn't quite know what was forcing her to break protocol and not immediately deny this boy's entry. It had become quite obvious that all of his documents were grievously faked. Still… she could not deny him, not yet. Was it curiosity? Was the cold finally getting to her?

She sighed, again. Maybe she could get him to clarify some of this junk. "What is this 'Akiba round table?'"

"It's an association of combat guilds, production guilds, and others! A mutual beneficiary meant to prevent abuse and exploitation!"

Guilds? What is this, Pre-Revolution Era? "Yes, yes, like all governments. But Guilds have not been around since - "

"Oh, so you're not convinced of my credulity - is that the word? Yes, yes it is, credulity - with this passport, are you?" the boy cut her off. "Well - no fear! I have several more!"

"Why?!"

"Cross-citizenship, never heard of it?"

"It is not possible to be citizen of more than two countries at once under international law!"

---

PRINCIP. OF GALLIA
"Valkyria, Valkyria
May the bloodline live forever
Valkyria, Valkyria Bless and protect our fertile land"

Hanamura, Chihiro
DOB. 1885.7.11
SEX. M
ISS. Hadleigh
EXP. 1900.1.1

---

---

-Citizen's Passport-
KINGDOM of HOSHIDO

Hanamura, Chihiro
DOB. 9.15.1601
SEX. M
ISS. Shirasagi
EXP. 1.1.1555

---

---

Hanamura, Chihiro
DOB. 1911.7.11
SEX. F
ISS. Orvech Vonor
EXP. 1985.11.1

-ARTSTOTZKA-

---

"What is this bullshit… 'Gallia'? 'Hoshido'? 'Artstotzka?' Last one does not sound like name, even! What kind of joke is this?!" The Inspector demanded.

"Cross-citizenship, Inspector-senpai!" the boy named Hanamura made innocent puppy eyes at her. "Cross-national, cross-universes, cross-timelines, crossdressing… cross-everything! I can personally assure you, every single one of these documents is valid!"

"You have a different gender for each one of these!" The Inspector raged. Exasperatedly, the Inspector showed him his 'Hoshido' passport. "This one has an expiry date before your birthday!"

"Weell…" Hanamura grinned awkwardly. "Maaaybe not that one. But the rest are valid in their respective countries and calendars, I swear!"

"Why - ?!"

Suddenly, her radio crackled to life: "Inspector? Ma'am? What is holding the line so much? The entrants outside are getting antsy. We had to suppress an attempt to scale the walls just now. Hurry up in there, will you?"

The Inspector let her fingers drop, causing the radio to fall away from her ear. She heaved a heavy sigh. "You are costing me money, friend."

1062.12.26
ENTRY
DENIED

1062.12.26​

ENTRY
DENIED
​

1062.12.26

ENTRY
DENIED
​

1062.12.26

ENTRY
DENIED
​

1062.12.26​

ENTRY
DENIED​

​

"Awww…." Hanamura frowned. "Oh well! Welp. Seeya!"

And so the strange entrant promptly took his things and left… through the wrong door.

"Hey! You! You were denied! You go that way!" the Inspector yelled, pointing in the opposite direction.

"I'm sorry what was that?" Hanamura laughed, opening the hatch and making his way across the border.

The Inspector's eyebrow twitched.

"Security, arrest that man."

"Of course, Inspector."

Within moments, Hanamura was back in her booth, being dragged forcefully by two tired-looking guards dressed in gray and velvet. "Woahhh! Don't touch me there, bud! What are you, some kind of pervert?"

"Shut up, mudak, or I will have you thrown into the snow."

"I dunno, I kinda like snow! You're gonna have to think of a better – OOOF – "

Hanamura's inane ramblings were suddenly and definitively silenced as one of the guards smacked him on the side of his head with the butt of his rifle.

The guard responsible turned to her. "Prison?"

The Inspector hesitated. Pravic prisons were shitholes. The Inspector firmly believed that only those on the level of human traffickers and enemies of the State really deserved that kind of punishment.

But then again…

"Yes. Have him sent there immediately. I'll file a report later this week. Or maybe at the start of next month. We'll have him stew in there and think about his crimes against the State for a bit," the Inspector grinned wickedly.

"Just as well. This fucker is annoying," the guard responded dutifully. He saluted. "Glory to Katyusha, Inspector."

"Glory to Katyusha."

As the guards disappeared into the snow outside the border booth, the Inspector sighed contentedly, glad she was not privy to tribunals capable of investigating her for abuse of power.

She was an Inspector of the Ministry of Admissions, after all.

"Next!"

~~ Three entrant later ~~
​

---

IMP. REP. of MIHOKU
Nakagawa, Nanako

DOB. 1045.12.27
SEX: F
ISS. Miyao City
EXP. 1063.1.2

---

"What is the purpose of your trip?" The Inspector peered at the young, blonde-haired Nakagawa, and then to his documents. Description matched, height and weight were fine… the only thing left was the Entry Permit.

"Visiting. We have a performance." The boy, compared to others, seemed really calm and composed. Though she could tell he was uncomfortable here. Not like she blamed him.

"How long?" The Inspector asked.

"Just a few days."

The Inspector raised an eyebrow. "Your length of stay is different."

"Wha - oh, right. We're staying for a whole week. Sorry."

The Inspector nodded. Between the biometrics and description in the ID supplement and the Entry Permit, she could find no discrepancy. Thus, she reached for the green stamp… but she stopped as she glanced at the passport.

"...Are you a man or a woman?"

Nakagawa seemed confused. "The passport is correct. Obviously. What kind of question is - oh, wait. Waaaait. Um… can I have that back, please?"

The Inspector suddenly had that bubbling of suspicion again. "Why?"

"Those are my sister's. She left her passport and shit with me and I always mix our stuff up and - "

"You do know that creating false information on a passport is a crime against the State, correct?"

The boy blinked. "...what? You can't honestly think that I forged this thing…"

"I'm not saying the document is forged. I am saying that the information is incorrect. I cannot let you through."

"But those aren't even mine! I told you - they're my sisters! Here, let me give you my real pass - "

"Sorry. M.O.A. policy means I should be detaining you right now. You are lucky that I have no reason to believe this was done with malicious intent. Put the correct gender on your document next time."

"Wait, I'm serious, we're twins, it's not like - !"

1062.12.26
ENTRY
DENIED​

The Inspector slid the documents back across the counter. "Goodbye."

"You can't do this!" Nakagawa bared his teeth. His fist clenched up. "I have a fucking - "

"Would you like me to send for the guards?"

This, thankfully, seemed to pacify the boy. Grumbling, Nakagawa left the booth, practically kicking the door outside open. The Inspector frowned, slightly remorseful.

But then again. It wasn't her problem. Her job was to enforce the law, after all.

…she glanced tepidly at the stack of hundred-credit bills on her desk.

Okay, her job was to enforce the law or not relative to the amount of bribe money the entrant was willing to give her.

The Inspector chuckled to herself, silently glad that the M.O.A. had decided not to implement Total Surveillance in her workplace. Probably due to her shining work record and efficiency and patriotism.

"Next!"

~~ One entrant later ~~​

---

Sylvester Cherney
DOB. 1045.12.27
SEX. M
ISS. FGS Neue Hoffnung
EXP. 1063.1.2

--OZZETCH REPUBLIK--

---

Now this is an interesting one, the Inspector thought to herself. The document was tattered and old; Ozzetch passports, while valid, were very, very rare, mostly because the Ozzetchian continent did not dock on the mainland often.

"What is the purpose of your trip?"

"I am seeking asylum," the timid-looking effeminate boy pushed his documents into the counter.

"I am going to need your fingerprints," the Inspector said, handing the fingerprint slip to him.

"O-Of course." Cherney took the slip while the Inspector made the information request. Soon, the Inspector had the entrant's fingerprints and the M.O.I.'s fingerprints on her desk, and immediately she noticed the discrepancy.

Frowning grimly, the Inspector said, as she reached for the red button, "Your fingerprints do not match."

"W-What?! Wait, wait, that can't be right…"

"I am sorry, whoever you are. But we will have to detain you for questioning; faking one's identity is a serious crime. Come quietly and you may not be bodily harmed." She reached for the big red button under her desk.

"N-No… c-can you check again? I'm… I-I'm sure that Big Sis couldn't have gotten the p-prints wrong… I-I checked with her! So many times! T-T-There must be some sort of m-mistake! Please don't m-make me go b-back…"

The Inspector hesitated for just a second, her finger lingering over her DETAIN button. A small, fleeting part of her hated this part of the job - it was the same part of her that knew, instinctively, that about half the people she detained day-by-day were detained not due to criminality, but due to some sort of bureaucratic incompetence, or corruption.

Her heart seemed to fall for a moment. Just a moment. Then, all was good - she readied the DETAIN button. Though she could wait a bit longer before subscribing the poor, shivering boy to his fate.

It was just as well - for at that moment another message from the M.O.I. arrived via her fax machine.

PLEASE FORGIVE. PREVIOUS RECORD WAS INCORRECT. THIS IS CORRECT FINGERPRINT SET.

Underneath that text was another set of fingerprints. Curious, she compared the new set with the entrant's fingerprints. And, to her astonishment, they were complete matches.

And then, another message:

THERE WAS LAST MINUTE DATABASE CHANGE. FORTUNATE AND SUPERFLUOUS THAT I WAS PRESENT DURING THAT INFORMATION REQUEST. GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. - M.O.I. Agent B.S.

Well, the Inspector thought. I've never had more a reason to grant entry than this, right here. An omission from the Ministry itself! How rare.

1062.12.26
ENTRY
GRANTED​

"Cause no trouble."

"Oh… t-thank you! Thank you!" Mister Cherney wiped a bunch of tears from his cheek, wettening his entire arm. "I-I won't forget this! Thank you, ma'am!"

"You're holding up the line. Move, already," The Inspector replied dismissively.

Cherney sniffled. "T-Thank you again. I-I'm so glad… haha… so glad…" he turned to the door, the door that faced the country, not the outside border, and stepped away.

The second he left, the Inspector let out a deep sigh. That was… strangely emotional. For some reason, a small part of her was glad that the M.O.I. reacted as quickly as they did.

She made a mental note to pull aside her friend from the M.O.I. agency after work today and tell him that he and his Ministry did good work. And to buy him a vodka with her new bribery money from today.

Make that two vodkas.

"Next!"

~~ Nine entrant later ~~​

---

<U. S. A. R.>
Republik flag flies oe'r the meign,
Oe'r fair-flung fields of Amber plain.

Pinemount, Mika
DOB. 1045.3.29
SEX: F
ISS. New Lincoln
EXP. 1075.11.1

---

Ambernian? Ugh. What do they want now? "What is the purpose of your trip?"

"My presence was requested."

The Inspector's upper lip twitched. She didn't like this woman's tone. Something about her made her feel incredibly suspicious.

She prepared to thoroughly examine her documentation.

After a few long minutes of scrounging, the Inspector, victoriously, discovered the discrepancy she knew would be there. She took the supposed diplomat's Diplomatic Authorization form and showed it to the entrant: "I am afraid you have the wrong diplomatic seal, ma'am. Ambernian seal is eagle with star, or eagle with letters. Eagle with blue stripe is not a valid seal. That is part of Mihoku diplomatic seal. Come now; you need to get better at your forgeries."

"What is this? Are you accusing me of forging my own Diplomatic Authorization?" the entrant raised an eyebrow. "Check with your superiors."

"In this booth, I am the superior," The Inspector sneered.

1062.12.26
ENTRY
DENIED​

After handing the passport back, the entrant actually looked confused. She fiddled a bit with her pigtails, which she had tried so hard to hide behind a cap. The Inspector smiled. "The only reason I am being lenient is because I know that is you, "Mykatsuma," or whoever you are."

"Oh - Oooooh." The entrant dropped her serious facade immediately and broke into a huge grin. "Saw right through me, didn't you?"

"You had me convinced, but you need to learn how to conceal hair better."

"Yeah, these tend to give it away…" the girl giggled, twiddling with her pigtails. "Welp. Can't be helped."

"Next time you show up here, I will call the guards," the Inspector warned. "Just because you amuse me does not exempt you from the law."

"What if I bring more credits?"

"..." The Inspector sighed. "...get out."

"Righto! Seeya!" And then the girl scurried away. Again.

"Next!"

~~ Four entrant later ~~​

---

IMP. REP. of MIHOKU
Takahashi, Yuuko

DOB. 1047.9.10
SEX. F
ISS. Miyao City
EXP. 1076.2.17

---

"I come for - "

1062.12.26
ENTRY
DENIED​

Before Miss Takahashi had even finished her sentence, angry red ink was spilling onto her visa.

"...what…?"

"Passport numbers do not match."

Miss Takahashi shifted her feet awkwardly. "...it must be a typographical error…?"

"Nope. Number on passport is 115DL-33HWM. Number on Entry Permit is 1I5DL-33HWM. Is a forgery, but a clever one. Please do not return."

Miss Takahashi numbly collected her papers, and stepped back, hesitantly. "Aren't you… aren't you going to arrest me?"

"Prisons are full," the Inspector lied.

"Oh...." Slowly, Takahashi took her documents and started for the door. Then, for some reason… she laughed. "Kei-kun was right." Her light and airy voice sounded… hollow. And dangerous. "You people run this border very well."

And then the door slammed shut.

The Inspector stared at the spot were Takahashi was before confirming to herself that, no, that wasn't another bomb threat. She really needed a break…

"Next!"

~~ Two entrant later ~~​

---

IMP. REP. of MIHOKU
Mikado, Yoshi

DOB. 1045.5.6
SEX. M
ISS. Miyoa City
EXP. 1064.2.21

---

So many Mihokujin people today… the Inspector thought absently. "What is the purpose of your trip?"

"I am in transit." The boy spoke confidently.

"How long will you be staying?"

"Just a few days at most."

The Inspector ran through his documents, making extra sure to double-check the Identity Supplement. On it was written the words: Painfully average look, brown eyes, black hair.

Well, she thought to herself. That's certainly a helpful description. It's not like every male foreigner from that land of fireworks and video games matches this look, or anything.

Just to be sure, she peered into the boy's eyes, ascertaining the color was correct.

His were a very cool, almost hazy shade of brown. Like cinnamon, she thought immediately.

…

Why am I blushing? This is unnatural. The Inspector quickly slapped her cheeks and hastily went through the rest of her documents.

Finally, content with their validity, she spoke: "This looks good to me."

1062.12.26
ENTRY
GRANTED​

"Cause no trouble."

"Ah. Thanks, ma'am!" Mikado slid his documents into one of the pockets of his jacket. "That was faster than I expected. I must be lucky today," he laughed.

He lifted the exit door open with his mittened hands, and stepped outside. As the door slowly slammed shut, the Inspector eased her microphone to prepare to call for the next entrant.

And then, the unholy sound of the citation machine breached her peace. Disbelievingly, she ripped the citation slip from the machine to stare at its contents.

---

M.O.A. CITATION

Protocol Violated.
Invalid Issuing City.

WARNING ISSUED - NO PENALTY​

---

Some, small, reasonable part of the Inspector's brain wondered aloud how and why the clerk creating her M.O.A. citation was able to figure out she had processed an entrant incorrectly within seconds of him having left the booth. It was drowned out by an other, more reactionary part of her brain that was screaming for that foreigner boy's blood. Which, in turn, was drowned out completely by the fluffy part of her brain which couldn't stop thinking about that boy's cute eyes. Or his nimble, unassuming face… or his adorable, messy hairdo…

"Alexei." Her voice was level. "The boy who just left the booth. Is he still there?"

A short pause.

"Negative, ma'am. He broke out into a run as soon as he left. But his paper was stamped green, so we let him go."

The Inspector sighed. "Understood. Please… ah… create an arrest warrant for a 'Yoshi Mikado,' of that face and profile. I simply need to talk to them about a small discrepancy in their documents. Make it an infraction charge, not a felony."

"Of course, Inspector."

The Inspector sat in her booth for a few minutes, telling herself, repeatedly, that she was doing this because of her duties as an Inspector. She couldn't, however, stop blushing, herself.

"Next!"

~~ Three entrant later ~~​

---

==PRAVDUSTAN==

Cherney, Reina
DOB. 1045.1.1
SEX: F
ISS. St. Havsburg
EXP. 1063.1.10

==PRAVDUSTAN==

---

Finally. A citizen.

"Welcome back home, friend," the Inspector said. She relaxed visibly in her seat.

"It was a long journey," Miss Reina spoke in such beautiful, beautiful Pravic. After having to listen to foreigners mumble all day, it was a wonderful change of tone. "But I made it. I hope the Ministry has been taking could care of you?"

"We get paid more for every entrant, now. New Minister is a Man of the People."

"Ah! That's good. That's good." Reina laughed. "Hopefully soon Katyusha will reunite the districts. And then we can all get pay raise."

"Haha!" The Inspector laughed alongside her. "True, that would be an excellent windfall for us citizens." Glancing at the document, the Inspector asked, "How long have you been gone, again?"

"I left almost as soon as I had the passport renewed."

"Ah. Then, I should tell you that it's not called 'St. Havsburg' anymore. Our dear Katyusha has renamed it to 'New Havs City.' It is part of the glorious Modernization Initiative, as it were."

"Interesting. I did not know that. I hope this does not mean my passport is invalid."

"Me? Invalidate a citizen's passport? Ha! Haha!"

1062.12.26
ENTRY
GRANTED​

"Glory to Katyusha." The Inspector said proudly. "Be safe, friend."

"And you, Inspector." Reina deftly collected her documents. "Oh… and by the way. Did… did a short, young-looking boy with silver hair like mine pass through the checkpoint earlier today? Name of Sylf, or something?"

"...Sylvester? Same last name as you?"

"I suppose, yes."

Technically, it was against Ministry policy to talk about the confidential information regarding other entrants. But, this is a citizen, so…

"Then, yes. He passed through with an Asylum Grant. Everything checked out. Why?"

Reina sighed in relief. "I am to be his guardian. Or maybe stepsister. Or something."

"Oh?"

Reina waved her off. "Western country is a horrible mess, as always. My family is just trying to keep distant relatives safe from the westerners and their barbarism."

"Hmm…" Now the Inspector was feeling even more glad she had let the poor boy through. "Well, treat him well, then. We are all brothers and sisters and Pravdustan, after all."

Reina smiled. "Very true. Thank you, Inspector."

And she disappeared behind the closing booth gate. The lingering feeling of comfort and warm familiarity faded as the Inspector remembered she still had a crowd of foreigners to process before the day would be over.

She hoped she would get to meet Miss Reina again some time. She seemed like one of the few well-minded people in the country.

"Next!" she barked, and the crowds outside begun to move and shift once more. She still had plenty of people to process today...

Part two will be made available once the appropriate paperwork has been filed.

Until such time, you may reread this file for your enjoyment.

Failure to meet sufficient levels of enjoyment will be met with disciplinary action.

Glory to Katyusha.​

​

 

[Karnewarrior]

Spoiler: Data archive 20380JX | Matsuoka Yumika.txtlg

{10/2/20XX}
89301: Sai-kun, u have to stop
Sai-kun: Stop what?
89301: ur friends r all concerned
Sai-kun: Why?!
89301: we're all worried about u
Sai-kun: What am I doing wrong?
89301: u need
Sai-kun: What?!
89301: u need to bring something besides rice tacos in ur bento
Sai-kun: Yumika.
89301: ur gonna die
Sai-kun: I won't die.
89301: don't leave us behind sai-kun
Sai-kun: I won't leave.
89301: kk but seriously u eat that too much
89301: its not healthy, p sure
Sai-kun: I'll make something healthier tomorrow then
89301: really?
Sai-kun: Really. I promised I won't die, right? Gotta stay healthy.
89301: (ノ＞▽＜。)ノ ~<3

{10/12/20XX}
89301: u up?
Dream eater: yes?
89301: have u told him yet
Dream eater: i would really rather not talk about this right now
Dream eater: it is ten at night.
89301: thats the perfect time
Dream eater: it's definitely not.
89301: it def is
Dream eater: you
89301: me
Dream eater: argh
89301: we pirates now
Dream eater: we are not pirates I was just expressing my frustration with you!
89301: tell him
Dream eater: no, I'm doing English homework
89301: w sai-kun
89301: ...
89301: nailed it
Dream eater: Sai-kun is not here
Dream eater: it is TEN O CLOCK AT NIGHT
89301: go hana-chan! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Dream eater: that is not what is happening right now
89301: but i know u can do it
Dream eater: I
Dream eater: AM
Dream eater: NOT
Dream eater: DOING
Dream eater: IT
89301: y not?
89301: don't be scared
Dream eater: i'm not scared, it's late.
89301: he is sleepy and won't say no
Dream eater: that's manipulative and i'm not doing it
89301: X[
89301: do it anyway
Dream eater: go to bed, yumika.
89301: no
89301: ask him
Dream eater: i'm getting really mad
89301: i don't care
89301: do it do it do it
Dream eater: Go to bed, 89301.
89301: that's cold
89301: hana is cold
89301: fine
Dream eater: i'm sorry, i was just angry
Dream eater: yumika?
Dream eater: ...sorry. i guess you'll get this when you wake up in the morning.
Dream eater: you're still my best friend, ok?


89301: yup
Dream eater: please do not text me at 3 am
89301: <3

Yumika has good friends.

 

[Karnewarrior]

Spoiler: Eye of Miyao

"Actually… to be honest, I'm…" Silas tried to say the words he had formed in his head, but somewhere, it gets lost. He gulped. What was his excuse again? He needed an excuse. He… "I'm feeling really w-worn out… oh! And, Big Sis told me, before I left, that I should probably… I should probably g-get home before it's too late…"

"Well, in that case…" Yumika started to back off. No sense in intruding on Silas and Hana's date. "I guess I could - "

"B-But - !" Silas swallowed, and put on his best reassuring face. "I… I want you two to go on ahead, anyway, um…" He faced the attendant. "Mister, two tickets for the Eye, please…"

"Wait, Sai-kun…" Hana stepped forward, and Silas spun around, placing one of the tickets in her hand.

"I want you t-to have fun! Both of you," Silas said, forcing himself to keep his breath steady. He looked at Yumika and placed the other ticket in her hand. Yumika opened her mouth to say something - but Silas had the momentum. He had to keep it. "I owe it to both of you. Besides! I'll be uh… w-working. Online, tonight, so I'll make this back, no problem."

"You don't need to do this for us..." Hana tried.

"Do what?" Silas responded, swallowing. Hana blinked, and then she looked confused.

"You... what do you mean, 'do what'? Aren't you..."

"I d-don't really get what you mean..." Silas said hesitantly. "I-I mean, it's nothing, it's just money. H-Here, take it!" He spun around and put the ticket in Yumika's hand.

"Wha - oh. Right! If you say so…" It took a bit, but it finally clicked that Silas actually wanted them to both go on the eye together... Although Yumika wasn't sure if he wanted them to mend the broken bridges that Stupid Yumika had burnt, or if he was just aching to get to Yumika's little gift. Regardless, she decided to play along - and acting was one thing Yumika did better than anyone else she knew.

Hana sighed. She glanced wearily at Silas, before turning away. "Come on. Yumika-san. Let's… let's get this over with, already…"

"I'm following right behind you!" Yumika ran up to her.

"H-Have fun…!" Silas tried to shout, but his voice cracked.

"We will!" Yumika shot back firmly.

"I'll try…" Hana mumbled, her voice just barely rising above the wind. She waved back to Silas, shuffling her feet forward.

Yumika paused at the precipice to the Eye. Abruptly, she spun around, and she surprised Silas by nearly tackling him and grabbing his hand, shaking it firmly. "Oh, and…" her breath formed ice particulates in the air. "Thanks. For bringing us all out. I couldn't have planned something like this better mys - well, um." Okay - so she wasn't quite as good with improv. It didn't help that Sai-kun had this odd expression on his face that kind of made her want to giggle. "Point is, I… probably never would have tried to… do something like this, knowing me. Hana-chan's right. I'm stubborn." She chuckled softly. "See you around, yeah? Oh - and you should read that book." Yumika tilted her head and winked.

Silas smirked. He felt himself gripping the rectangular outline of the paperback through his trenchcoat. "You didn't h-have to be so obvious about it, I was gonna look at it anyway…"

"Ahh… I doubted Master Spy Silas. Forgive me!" Yumika laughed. "Well… time to go face judgement, I guess."

"I uh…" Silas hesitated. "Good luck. See you, Yumika-san. Thanks for coming along with us."

"Nnn." She waved him away. Go, idiot! Read the book!

It wasn't long before she was in the small cart, sat across from Shinohara, who gazed out the window with a melancholic look on her face.

"What~? Did you want to go on the Eye with Sai-kun, Hana-chan?" Yumika said teasingly the minute the attendant shut the door.

Hana pursed her lips, looking far more annoyed by the insinuation than embarrassed. "What are you trying to imply, there?"

"Eeh, the girl who can taste emotions can't tell? Well, I'm not going to spoil it for you." Hana sighed, shaking her head. She turned back to the window as the Eye of Miyao shuddered into motion, slick wheels turning with unfathomable power just to lift the two girls into the sky.

Yumika looked outside too, to the city glistening with a thin sheet of snow. Glittering skyscrapers like ice crystals rose out of the fluffy white haze, glimmering in the late afternoon sun. As the pair rose, they rose above the city, completing the impression of being inside a snowglobe which had been set down, the bottom and all it's surfaces covered in tiny sparkles. A gush of icy wind blew into the compartment, stirring Yumika's face and causing Hana to flinch and cover the side of her face without a shield of hair with one thin gloved hand.

"It's cold..." The Dream-Eater muttered.

"Yeah." Yumika said quietly, putting her chin in one hand. "...I'm sorry about what I did. It was rude of me, and not really good friend-ing."

"Good friend-ing, huh?" Shinohara scoffed slightly, although her grin had no malice in it as she drew her hand away and laid it on her lap. "You're a wizard with words, Yumika-san."

"I mean it." Yumika said, trying to flick the little burst of hurt to the back of her head, where she was pretty sure Hana couldn't sense it. Kind of. Emotions were weird.

Either way, she obviously failed, because Hana fiddled with her scarf just long enough to hide a wince. "Sorry. Well, about that. Not about..." Hana sighed. "I'm still mad at you, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Hana glanced at Yumika, her one showing eye glimmering slightly in the blood red light. "I know. I just... I don't have a lot of friends, you know? Especially friends who know about my, er, condition."

"You know Rakuyama-san wouldn't judge you. Nobody in Drama would."

"You say that, but... Maybe they wouldn't knowingly do it, or might even try consciously not to do it, like you and Sai-kun do, but it's still hard."

Yumika flinched slightly. It was true, she tried not to judge Hana, but in a way, that meant she already failed from the start.

"I-it's not that I don't appreciate it. I get it, you know? I think I kind of judge myself about it sometimes; ever since I was ten I've always thought about myself as 'the weird girl who eats emotions'... So, really, I like that you and Sai-kun are so willing to... Change, to accommodate me. But it still hurts, just a little. I don't like bringing it up and calling that sort of thing down."

"Yeah, I guess." Yumika desprately wanted to turn and look out the window, or search for something to say to change the conversation topic - but she fought both urges off. This was something they both needed to do, very badly, and something Silas wanted for his friends. She couldn't fail him.

"But, yeah. I don't have a lot of friends, or even really want a lot of friends. I'm happy with just you two... Actually, I was happy with just you. Sai-kun kind of just made an impact I couldn't ignore."

"By impact, do you mean he fell on you? Was it like in an anime? Am I going to have to get my bat? Poor Sai-kun; to go to heaven, and then have me send him to hell-"

"He didn't fall on me or grope me anywhere inappropriate." Hana snapped. "Stop with that."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop!" Yumika giggled. Hana managed to keep her stern expression for only a second more, before her lips twitched into a smile.

"Man, I'm glad we caught you before you did anything too stupid." Hana said, her smile settling into something small and honest.

"...Me too. I was just so angry. I didn't really think ahead, about how it would effect you guys. I just kind of, saw red and started trying to cause chaos."

"Forget about us, what about your family?"

Yumika winced. "They'd-"

"They'd miss you. We'd all miss you."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. I... I forgive you. Again."

"Sheesh, you didn't have to put it that way you know?"

"This is the second time you've nearly gotten yourself killed or worse because you 'see red'."

"It's only the second time! You're too much of a hardass, Hana-chan!"

"H-Hardass?!"

"Hardass! Hardass! How do you even sit down, hardass?!"

"T-there's nothing hard about my ass!"

"Ooh, so that's where Sai-kun fell-"

"Silas Yamigawa has not and never will touch me like that-!"

"Oh no~, Sai-kun is going to be sooooo~ disappointed!"

"That's not what I meant and what do you mean disappointed?!"

"Ne ne, Hana-chan, what does ~LOVE~ taste like?"

"Excuse me, ladies, but your ride is over. You have to get off, or get another tick-Ergh?!"

Hana managed to shoot the lethal glare, meant for Yumika, directly at the unsuspecting Ferris-wheel operator. He recoiled in pure horror for a moment, before evidently reminding himself that it was actually just a young girl making that face and not a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Yumika, having been on the receiving end of that face too many times to count, didn't blame him. Sometimes, with Hana, it was hard to tell.

"Okay, okay, have another ride, sorry to bother you-"

"W-wait, sorry I didn't- We're going to get off thank you very much!"

Yumika couldn't hold it in any more, giggling like mad as she exited the cart behind Hana, who was apologizing and bowing so profusely that Yumika was reminded of those dorky little water-sipping birds one puts on an office desk if they have no personality.

She had to pull the dream-eater away from the poor man, who was still obviously jumpy with adrenaline, before she could even speak for laughing.

"Well, I think we made up, right?"

"God, I'm so embarrassed. Why do you bring out the worst in me?"

"'Cuz you bring out the best in me, and the universe needs to be in balance~?" Yumika said, twirling around to smile widely at her best friend.

"...Honey and Ice Cream." Hana said dully. "Way too sweet."

"You need a better tongue. Honey and Ice Cream sounds yummy."

"I'm more of a savory sort of girl." Hana said, slipping an arm around Yumika's elbow and pulling her lightly away from the heavy crowds.

"Nnn, meat? That's good too. Especially if you're... A... Hardass!" Yumika whispered mischievously, leaning into Hana's ear.

Hana's lips pursed again. "Why are we friends again?"

"Because I won't let you get away~." Yumika said with a smile. "And because I need someone to go to karaoke bars with."

"Oh, no you- S-stop pulling! Hey, Yumika! W-wait-!"

As promised, a Ferris wheel omake.

 

[Karnewarrior]

I'm not a liar, because this is technically not an omake! It's a... extended Dwarf Fortress reference!
(I'm an immigrant from Bay 12, sue me)

Spoiler: Silas 'VAMPIRE BAIT' McYamigawa, Otaku

"These Foundation guys are like, bad, okay?"

Silas 'VAMPIRE BAIT' McYamigawa has been worried lately. He is worried due to a family member's absence. In the last week, he was pleased to make a new friend. He was relieved to rescue a friend from danger. He felt bolstered with courage by the presence of Yumika 'Make me a trader' McMatsuoka. He was relieved to not be yelled at by a superior. In the past season, he was frightened by the Student Council. He was horrified to see someone anesthetized. He was horrified to almost be anesthetized. He was horrified by the actions of a friend. He was content eating fine bread. He admired a fine table.
He is a casual worshiper of Rikuriku.
He is a Citizen of Mihoku. He is a Student of Yamaha High School. He is a Member of the Superpowered Entities Liberation Federation. He is the Leader of the Superpowered Entities Liberation Federation.
He is seventeen years old.
He has a thin frame with some fat on it. His eyes are slightly sunken. His hair is blue. His eyes are sapphire. He has an angular chin. He is clean shaven. His skin is pale.
He is a coward. He is pathetically weak. He has a talent for making friends.
He likes anime and manga, science fiction, scientific research, drama, vocaloids, electronics, computers, Artifical Intelligences for their matronly conduct, and magical girls for their frilly dresses. When possible, he prefers to consume rice, tacos, and manufactured sweets. He absolutely detests insects in general, and bugs in particular.
He has a great intuition and appreciable music sense, but has a poor attention span and cannot connect properly with others.
Like others in his culture, he holds hard work to be among the highest ideals and admires fine craftsmanship, admires honor and swordcraft, appreciates anime, and respects authority. He personally sees friendship as a highly valuable quality, and commends loyalty. He dreams of having a romance one day.
He dislikes forceful discussions and prefers not to debate. He cannot abide grandstanding. He sees AI as deserving of rights, and dislikes those who disagree with him. He finds anomalous people as deserving of rights, and dislikes those who disagree with him. He finds anime and manga to be a relaxing pastime. He is twitchy and jittery. He cannot help his stutter. He trusts in his family, and will follow them into hell itself. He considers his closest friends to be family members, and will sacrifice much for him. He finds it difficult to sympathize with less agreeable people.

A medium creature fond of creativity and innovation. Beware their large nuclear stockpile!

Spoiler: Yumika 'Make me a trader' McMatsuoka, Trader

"I wish those two would just kiss already..."

Yumika 'Make me a trader' McMatsuoka has been disappointed lately. She is disappointed that her friends' romance is not growing quickly. She is disappointed Silas 'VAMPIRE BAIT' Yamigawa can't take a hint. She was pleased to sleep in a fine bedroom. In the last week, she was interested near a fine table. She was interested near a fine chair. She was interested near a fine drawer. She was exasperated by overbearing parents. She was pleased to spend time with family. In the past month, she was pleased by a family member's survival. She was relieved to see her brother. She was relieved to yell at her brother. She was terrified to hear of an accident. She was interested near a fine table. She was interested near a fine chair. She was interested near a fine drawer.
She is a casual worshiper of Cthulhu.
She is a Citizen of Mihoku. She is a Student of Yamaha High School. She is a Member of the Superpowered Entities Liberation Federation. She is an enemy of the Secure Contain Protect Foundation.
She is seventeen years old.
She has a lithe frame with solid muscles. Her bust is small. Her eyes bulge slightly from her head. Her hair is flaxen. Her eyebrows are thin and arched. Her eyelids are heavy. She has long eyelashes. Her hair is tied up in twintails. Her fingernails are painted. Her chin is sharp. Her nose is thin and long. Her lips are full.
She is not like other people. She has a talent for making friends, and a talent for understanding people. Her personality is indomitable.
She likes sweets, wheat bread, fine embroidery, acting, drama, anime and manga, and noh players for their impassive masks. When possible, she prefers to consume rice, chicken eggs, and manufactured sweets. She absolutely detests snakes.
She has a great intuition, acting ability, interpersonal sense, kinesthetic sense, and memory.
Like others in his culture, she holds hard work to be among the highest ideals and admires fine craftsmanship, admires honor and swordcraft, appreciates anime, noh theatre, elegant clothing and respects authority. She personally sees friendship as a highly valuable quality, disloyalty to be a great offense, and commends loyalty. She dreams of owning a theater one day.
She cannot abide harm coming to her friends, and will die to protect them from harm. She keeps secrets well. She holds her secrets close to her chest. She is slow to trust. She is quick to make new friends. She is a boisterous person. She has little concept of personal space, and is quick to touch others. She is kind and quick to make concessions to stop a fight.

A medium creature fond of creativity and innovation. Beware their large nuclear stockpile!

Spoiler: Hana 'DEFINITELY a vampire' McShinohara, Student

"It's not like that, Yumika!"

Hana 'DEFINITELY a vampire' McShinohara has been embarrassed lately. She is embarrassed by the prodding of a friend. She is pleased to have talked with a friend. she felt sated after a small meal. In the last week, she felt sated from a large meal. She felt horrified to witness someone in lethal danger. She felt horrified to have put someone in lethal danger. She felt relief to have been forgiven by a friend. She felt happy to have made a friend. In the past month, she was sated by a small meal. She felt sated by a small meal. She felt giddy after consuming conflict.
She is irreligious.
She is a Citizen of Mihoku. She is a Student of Yamaha High School. She is a Member of the Superpowered Entities Liberation Federation. She is an enemy of the Secure Contain Protect Foundation.
She is seventeen years old.
She has a thin frame with a little fat. Her eyes are sunken. Her hair is deeply black. Her eyebrows are thick. Her eyes are naturally wide. She has long eyelashes. Her hair is tied up in rearward twintails. Her fingernails are painted. Her chin is round. Her nose is very small. Her lips are thin. Her mouth naturally settles into a slight frown.
She is not like other people, and possesses little talent for making friends. She has a talent for understanding people.
She likes fear, scrambled eggs, sheep wool, writing, drama, horror movies, and likes Stephen King for his skill. When possible, she prefers to consume terror, fear, and sugar. She absolutely detests crackers.
She has a wonderful sense for emotion, and is quite good at storytelling.
Like others in his culture, she holds hard work to be among the highest ideals and admires fine craftsmanship, admires honor, appreciates anime, elegant clothing and respects authority. She personally sees friendship as a highly valuable quality, disloyalty to be a great offense, cowardice as sympathetic, bravery as admirable, and commends loyalty. She dreams of being normal one day.
She is poor at keeping secrets. She is slow to make friends. She is twitchy and nervous around new people. She worries often, and is somewhat neurotic. She is prone to resisting her nature. She fears scientists, and her nightmares often include laboratories. She rubs her mouth when nervous.

A medium creature fond of creativity and innovation. Beware their large nuclear stockpile!

Note: Literally none of this was passed by LuciD and everything here is sheer speculation unless stated otherwise. I suppose it can stand as a testament to what I thought these three were like at this moment in history.