CaramelTheMoo
Rat and Cow combined
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Ima be honest, I dont see any of what you just said. Makes me want to laugh and ask what you've been smoking. If the story isnt interesting to you you can always unwatch it and stop reading.
The Galaxy is Flood, Not Food
- Thread starter Jackson Fox
- Start date
- Crossover Sci-Fi Horror
Sorry to hear you disliked it. Do you have any specific criticisms to share? I write these stories partly to improve my skills, so I'd be happy to hear them.
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- He
Not disliked. It's just... not interesting to read. You took your first story and just changed it to be bio instead of metal. But the story is almost the same. The same formula, the same protagonist, the same "struggle". Even the grammar and style is the same. Not improved. The only thing changed is the starting point, the tech tree and it's on one world instead of galaxy. It kinda lacks any hooks.
I kinda enjoyed your first work. Not many finished works like that, but this story is like reading it for the second time.
P.S.: But don't make a mistake, your work is definitely above average and you actually finish the work. That puts you above 90% of the writers here or SB, Fanfiction.net, etc...
Cry me a river.
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Listen it's fine not to enjoy the story, but maybe you can be constructive with your criticism?
Edit: nevermind, saw the other comment
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I'm wondering, what particular struggle are you referring to? Is it just that it's set in 40k and has the MC facing off with various factions from the galaxy, or something more specific? Thus far, I think the story's been fairly different and more complex than my previous work's plot.
I understand there are similarities between this one and my previous work, though I think they're different enough that they can be clearly separated. I also think the protagonists are written differently, despite both being SI's, though I can understand if some people dislike self inserts (I wasn't very fond of them myself for a while until a few years ago).
As for the grammar and style, that's just sort of how I write. I've been listening to a lot of Warhammer 40k audiobooks and have been trying to write some of my chapters with the same level of detail though.
I'm glad you enjoyed Why Couldn't it Have Been Star Wars?
Drunk Hierophant
Aspirant Archailect
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- He
Huh, you have another story?
It's a COMMANDER ONE?
Brb, I have to devour 100k words as fast as possible.
Literally all of your comments are almost identical to this on every fic you seem to read. The problem isn't the fics it's you mate maybe go find someone you trust and have a conversation cause you seem deeply unhappy.
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- He
Sooo... you have no argument and instead attack me personally. Huh. Internet. C'est la vie.
I'm not attacking you. You are welcome to your opinion on the fic there just isn't a useful argument for I don't like this. I wasn't taking a shot I meant what I said.
- Location
- ?????????
No, but it's pretty much hard to take any criticism you give at face value when a good chunk of your posts are the same type of criticism almost every time. We can see your post history after all. Also you gave no path to improvement. Just went "Story is mid" and left it at that.
Edit: Hell I could give more precise criticisms and I actually like the story
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Please do, I genuinely want to get better.
Tide and Vulkan should be MOOD KINDRED as they have the Power of Friendship together.
- Location
- florida
Orks literally into the power of friendship (and violence)
The word friend and enemy is the same in the ork language.
"Deze hands r rated E fur Every-one! WAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" - Ork with spiky hair and an orange gi attire named Kaka-Ku probably
If you keep claiming you are actually giving real criticism rather than basically 'this coffee shop scene suck, so it mean the whole story suck and not point out why it bad' type of feedback, then I have a bad new for you. You should watch this video to know where you doing wrong here (especially at 2:28 to 3:28).
Beside if every novel you claim 'bad' but don't explain why it bad and basically 90% people disagree with your point, then you may need to recheck yourself (better the fool who at least aware he is wrong, at least he still can improve himself compare to other)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_V7q8XhuBk
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- Location
- colombia
Look man i agree that his criticism is not really useful,but no one is actually watching a video in how to write criticism or some bullshit
he is free to give it,no point in beating over it
He said a opinion we dont agree with and he will not elaborate
Big deal,move on
Suit yourself then, I only leave that then just continue reading fanfic anyway so no worry about keep replying for that
(beside another reason I leave the video is for both the fact it quick to copy video, and those people like that tend to get insult/talk bad by most people without anyone lend a advice for how to avoid-deal with it, especially when some of them do actually try to become better. For example a post I see before where that guy want to ask other how to interact with the girl he liked, but don't know how big of a stalker he is then got 'bashing' by lot of people in the internet here....)
Aside from that this getting long, we should back to other topic then
Edit for author since there are still no new comment:
So we now have a 'water-battery' that don't have the dangerous-major downside like normal battery here, can help reduce damage from enemy sabotage (beside it seem to use less toxic and more abundance material like magnesium and zinc). Don't know if the mc will make a stronger version ? (since it warhammer 40k here)
Just remember to check comment in this site, for example this new seem anti-china so much they try avoid mention that this tech was a combine effort between china and Australia here
But if you aren't sure if the link is legit, the link die or other case, then I going to just copy down in the spoiler of their new
New "water batteries" could help overcome the dangers posed by their traditional counterparts, scientists say.
Lithium-ion batteries have changed the world, allowing for everything from electric cars to long-lasting and reliable mobile phones. But they are also volatile, because of the materials inside, and occasionally catch fire or explode.
Now researchers say they have developed "aqueous metal-ion batteries – or we can call them water batteries".
They use water to replace the organic electrolytes that currently allow electric current to flow between the positive and negative terminals. That makes them safer and also means they can be taken apart and reused or recycled at the end of their life.
The way they are designed also makes them relatively easy to produce, their creators said.
"We use materials such as magnesium and zinc that are abundant in nature, inexpensive and less toxic than alternatives used in other kinds of batteries, which helps to lower manufacturing costs and reduces risks to human health and the environment," said Tianyi Ma, from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology.
New research has allowed scientists to make their batteries last much longer – roughly in line with commercial lithium-ion batteries. That will help the researchers close the performance gap with today's technology and might make them ready for market.
"Our batteries now last significantly longer – comparable to the commercial lithium-ion batteries in the market – making them ideal for high-speed and intensive use in real-world applications," said Professor Ma.
"With impressive capacity and extended lifespan, we've not only advanced battery technology but also successfully integrated our design with solar panels, showcasing efficient and stable renewable energy storage."
The batteries could be used for big projects, such grid storage and integration with renewable energy, avoiding the danger of large fires. But it could also allow for smaller applications.
"As our technology advances, other kinds of smaller-scale energy storage applications such as powering people's homes and entertainment devices could become a reality," said Professor Ma.
The work is described in a new paper, 'Synergy of dendrites-impeded atomic clusters dissociation and side-reactions suppressed inert interface protection for ultrastable Zn anode', published in the journal Advanced Materials.
'This news was written by "The Independent" '
Lithium-ion batteries have changed the world, allowing for everything from electric cars to long-lasting and reliable mobile phones. But they are also volatile, because of the materials inside, and occasionally catch fire or explode.
Now researchers say they have developed "aqueous metal-ion batteries – or we can call them water batteries".
They use water to replace the organic electrolytes that currently allow electric current to flow between the positive and negative terminals. That makes them safer and also means they can be taken apart and reused or recycled at the end of their life.
The way they are designed also makes them relatively easy to produce, their creators said.
"We use materials such as magnesium and zinc that are abundant in nature, inexpensive and less toxic than alternatives used in other kinds of batteries, which helps to lower manufacturing costs and reduces risks to human health and the environment," said Tianyi Ma, from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology.
New research has allowed scientists to make their batteries last much longer – roughly in line with commercial lithium-ion batteries. That will help the researchers close the performance gap with today's technology and might make them ready for market.
"Our batteries now last significantly longer – comparable to the commercial lithium-ion batteries in the market – making them ideal for high-speed and intensive use in real-world applications," said Professor Ma.
"With impressive capacity and extended lifespan, we've not only advanced battery technology but also successfully integrated our design with solar panels, showcasing efficient and stable renewable energy storage."
The batteries could be used for big projects, such grid storage and integration with renewable energy, avoiding the danger of large fires. But it could also allow for smaller applications.
"As our technology advances, other kinds of smaller-scale energy storage applications such as powering people's homes and entertainment devices could become a reality," said Professor Ma.
The work is described in a new paper, 'Synergy of dendrites-impeded atomic clusters dissociation and side-reactions suppressed inert interface protection for ultrastable Zn anode', published in the journal Advanced Materials.
'This news was written by "The Independent" '
Edit 2: In case anyone don't know, this video do explain why this faction suck at melee (they actually not)
View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/0S_aQzl6qsM
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Shadowsun the Haman Karn-type: "You dare turn your back on the Greater Good by forming your own Enclaves?"
Farsight the Char Clone: "I have never betrayed anyone in my entire life!"
Chapter is gonna be a few hours late cuz I was tired last night and didn't finish it.
Godlike Power + Not an Asshole > Godlike Power + Raging Asshole
Tide is absolutely a messiah figure in 40k. Depending on which version of The Emperor you subscribe to, he may be the best messiah figure in 40k.
says a lot about how shit 40k is, that just having a lot of power and being somewhat decent is enough to count as a messiah figure
- Location
- Euclidean plane
It's deceptively easy to conflate powerful + decent person as some sort of author avatar of fixing everything into this setting. There are times when I have to sit back, think a moment and go, 'No, wait. This is just some guy who's strong enough to keep his morals in this moral cesspool of a setting."
Naturally, a lot of thoughts go to how he can kill everything bad and win... but Tide doesn't have to liberate and conquer to 'win' in this context. He just has to have strong enough foothold in enough places to stand strong and develop while fostering a society of people who don't use war crimes as a measuring stick to success. (The few times I've heard of a decent group, it's usually in the context of an alien planet right before they're glassed. Kinda like kicking babies for the imperium. Which I'm sure is a sport somewhere if you look hard enough.)
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