Questionably Soteriological: A Puzzle/Mystery Quest with Kids, Science, and Fun!

> Lucy, Owen, & Kala: {BELLIGERENCE}
[X] A detective always follows their instincts and they're screaming danger

"Owen, you're great, but I'm going to have to question your judgement," you manage, as you try to pull yourself together and use what little time you think you have to think. "Mari, could you pretty please try and get the elevator working as fast as possible?"

"Oh, thank you for the instruction, Calloway, I was planning to go about it as slowly as possible just in order to spite you!" Mari shoots back, pulling out her trusty SCREWDRIVER and appearing to GET TO WORK on the ELEVATOR DOOR MECHANISM. "And you didn't even put a cherry on top of your please!"

[X] Time to leave everyone! Please keep hands and feet in the ELEVATOR at all times.
-[X] Enter the code and GET THE HECK OUT OF DODGE.
[x] The elevator problem is only with the doors opening - but we need to make sure the elevator is on our floor and we're ready to go ASAP.
[x] While Mari is busy opening the elevator, call a War Counsil and ask for Kala's and Owen's cooperation.

Marinette seems quite happily busy at work with the ELEVATOR, so you gesture to Owen, who almost trips over his own SNEAKERS scrambling over to you, and Kala, who seems a little nervous but with a shimmer is by your side. You look at them both, very earnestly, and explain your plan. "Have you ever seen Home Alone?" you begin. Kala shakes her head.

Owen frowns. "Is that the one where... he has no arms... and... a hat?"

You furrow your brow. "No. What? What... no, never mind. Okay, the point is, it's about a boy who sets up some traps in his house because he's getting robbed, and..."

"You think whatever's coming is going to rob us?" Owen just seems more confused.

"No, no, I mean, look, let me explain," you're about to launch into a detailed synopsis when you notice Kala struggling to drag furniture over to the door and shake your head. "Just... go help Kala, okay?"

[X] First things first: Close the door to the labyrinth. See if you can lock it, or if you can wedge it shut.
[X] move some stuff to block out the corridor till the elevator gets here. If ithe buy's even a second it was worth it.
[x] Conjure up a Devilishly Devious Device out of items on hand by connecting SILVER THREAD, the NET and the doorway in such a way as to drop the UNREASONABLY LARGE BOOK - temporarily supported by the NET - on whoever enters. Sometimes knowledge is power!

As Owen and Kala finish the task of BARRICADING THE DOOR with whatever they can find, you start working on a MAKESHIFT TRAP. However, as much as you enjoyed HOME ALONE as a piece of CHEAP AND TRASHY ENTERTAINMENT, you're not sure the WACKY ANTICS OF KEVIN MCCALLISTER hold up quite as well in the REAL WORLD... at the very least, you can't make HEAD NOR TAIL of the plans that are forming half-baked in your head.

[GUMPTION CHECK: FAILED]

You're on the verge of tears of frustration, and with the footsteps getting louder every passing second you can feel your resolve starting to slip away from you. You're tempted to just curl up and CRY, but then you feel - well you hardly feel it, really, it's almost like a soft breeze more than anything - a hand on your shoulder, a flickering, barely-there hand, and Kala's voice whistles through your head.

"What are you trying to do. Make a trap? Like in your movie about being alone and at home. I wish I was at home. And also alone. Not alone from you. But from everyone else. Most people aren't very nice here. It's scary and confusing and I do not like any of it at all. We are becoming angels. It is upsetting. Yes. Home would be better. I do not have a home, but if there was a home where I could be alone, I would want to be home and alone." She seems to catch herself rambling, and stops, staring at the parts in front of you. With a little effort, you try to articulate what you were trying to do, and she seems to understand, acting swiftly and decisively in order to create a MAKESHIFT TRAP.

[GUMPTION CHECK: SUCCEEDED]
[x] Take the TV REMOTE with you. Scorched earth tactics it is!
Right, priorities. You don't have long, what to do - of course! You run over and grab the TV REMOTE, pocketing it with an IMPISH GRIN that you can't HELP BUT ALLOW TO SPREAD ACROSS YOUR FACE. Owen frowns at you. "Luce, do you have a plan, like, a real clever plan that you're gonna use the remote for?"

You shake your head. "Nope. I just want to leave whoever's chasing us with a TV that has no remote. Can you imagine?"

Owen whistles, impressed. "I see. Photosynthesis warfare. Very clever. You can be cruel, Luce. Just... cruel."

Your GRIN only widens.

Unfortunately, this CORDIAL EXCHANGE is quickly interrupted, as the two of you notice a VIVID RED LIGHT shining through the DOOR, before hearing that TERRIBLE SCREAM again. Then, a crash, the sound of something very heavy moving fast, and the door, a heavy thing that must be about three inches thick, dents inwards. The roar sounds again, this time so overwhelming it almost seems to physically fill the room, taking up space like a living creature and forcing you and Owen to take a step back - Kala has her hands over her ears, while Mari remains completely focused on her work, sparks flying as she hurriedly makes her way through the instruments of the toolbox. The red light gets brighter, searingly so, and with another crash, the door goes flying off its hinges, slamming into the wall only a few inches from Mari - who barely even flinches, eyes not moving from her work for an instant.

It's difficult to see what comes barrelling through the door in the next few seconds, because the glow hurts your eyes to look at, like you're staring directly into the sun. After a few seconds, your eyes become accustomed, just a little, and you can make out the silhouette wreathed in that terrible glare of light that doesn't belong , taller than it should be tall with arms longer than they should be long ending in claws that shouldn't be at all, a mouth of jagged teeth stretched into a grin, eyes like searchlights flooding the room with red. Over all of this, stretched and torn, are the remains of an Institute gown, like the one you're wearing. You're stunned, looking at what's in front of you - because as much as you want to say it's inhuman, you can't bring yourself to think as it like that. It's inhuman in the same way a dog isn't a wolf, a tricycle isn't a motorbike, a biplane isn't a fighter jet. It's... beautiful.

It's about halfway through a leap towards an equally stunned-looking Owen when it triggers your MAKESHIFT TRAP, a HEAVY BOOK coming down on its head and sending it off balance, briefly, before it regains its footing and moves, nimbly, limbs aligning to angles they should never be able to, back towards the two of you. Broken out of his trance, Owen frowns, not quite able to bring himself to move. "... Moth?"

With the creature bearing down on you, you feel your head begin to hurt - first aches, then pain, and suddenly a splitting, uncontrollable agony that makes you close your eyes, press your hands to the sides of your temples, and...

You open your eyes again. Everything seems different. Sharper, somehow. Looking over at Owen, you see that he feels the same way - his eyes are open. Kala, you think, could see from the moment you met her. You don't understand anything at all, and yet... you feel like you know more than you did, now. As Mari continues her repairs, the three of you turn to face the creature.

You can now perceive SOTERIOLOGY ASCENDANTS.

LUCY'S SOTERIOLOGY ASCENDANT is SATURN, LEVEL ONE
OWEN'S SOTERIOLOGY ASCENDANT is MERCURY, LEVEL ONE
KALA'S SOTERIOLOGY ASCENDANT is LUNA, LEVEL TWO

You have now entered a {BELLIGERENCE}. For your enjoyment and convenience, enjoy a brief explanation of the mechanics of {BELLIGERENCE}

{BELLIGERENCE}
occurs when circumstances render some degree of PHYSICAL DISCORD unavoidable, and you find yourself facing a BOSS BATTLE. During {BELLIGERENCE}, QUESTIONABLY SOTERIOLOGICAL operates slightly differently to usual. First of all, the PARTY is controlled by a voting system, as opposed to the usual freeform command entering. Each PARTY MEMBER who is involved in the {BELLIGERENCE} can make ONE ACTION PER ROUND, from a choice of <ATTACK>, <ITEM>, <CLASS MACHINATION> or <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>.

<ATTACK> will direct that PARTY MEMBER to ATTACK a specified enemy with their EQUIPPED WEAPON, pitting their FISTICUFFS or NIMBLENESS against the enemy's NIMBLENESS.
<ITEM> will direct that PARTY MEMBER to either EQUIP or USE an ITEM in their INVENTORY, with VARYING EFFECTS.
<CLASS MACHINATIONS> will often have DIFFERENT FUNCTIONS in an instance of {BELLIGERENCE} than they do under ORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES.
<SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS> are ����█▓████�▓▓▓▓▓��?"£"£%@}{:}{���

While the <ATTACK> command functions on its own, votes for the <ITEM> <CLASS MACHINATION> or <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> options require FURTHER SPECIFICATION, on which ITEM is selected and whether it should be USED or EQUIPPED, on which CLASS MACHINATION to use, and on which SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT to use, respectively. To discover what OPTIONS are available to a character, you may issue the command [x] Examine <ACTION> to be given a DEEPER UNDERSTANDING of the OPTIONS that ACTION entails for that PARTY MEMBER - doing so does NOT USE AN ACTION and does NOT REQUIRE A VOTE.

Other than EXAMINING ACTIONS, there is another command that can be freely submitted: TALKING, either to other PARTY MEMBERS or to the ENEMY, is A FREE ACTION.

{BELLIGERENCE!}

LUCY (300/300)

[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

OWEN (230/250)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

KALA (200/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

So, first of all, I have to apologise for again being so unreliable! Nothing like getting exams out of the way only to be hit squarely in the face with a large pile of coursework due in only a few weeks' time. The worst of it is behind me, at least, so here I am with... a lengthy update that introduces a whole new system, because I am really terrible at this. {BELLIGERENCE} has been in the works since the very start of this adventure, so I hope it works out okay now that I've finally brought it out! Again, the most heartfelt of thanks to all of you for sticking around this long and being this patient with me and my ridiculous story.

Would NOIR FOR NUMBNUTS help us determine where they are heading, or help us in any way? Technically, fleeing for your life may count as following your pursuit by outrunning it.
Unfortunately, you are not the one doing the FOLLOWING in this scenario!
* would Owen's EVERYTHING YOU CAN'T DO I CAN DO BETTER apply in this case? Technically, Mari's presence makes our GUM average far from the worst stat, but she is indisposed for this action.
Unfortunately, [EVERYTHING YOU CAN'T DO I CAN DO BETTER] takes into account the stats of the ENTIRE PARTY, regardless of current occupation.
 
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> causticAccolade: Explain SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS and {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEMS}
[x] Examine <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [OWEN]
[x] Examine <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [KALA]
[x] Examine <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [LUCY]

During {BELLIGERENCE}, all ASCENDANTS have access to the {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM} versions of their SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS, which are more combat-oriented than their usual SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS, while still being the same abilities. Now that you have the ability to perceive [SOTERIOLOGY ASCENDANTS], you will be able to access the GAMBITS outside of combat, in which case they will be presented in the less combative forms offered by the {CONCORD SYSTEM}.

When using SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS in the {CONCORD SYSTEM}, the user will gain ASCENDANCY. When ASCENDANCY has been maxed out, any further use of SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS will take the user to the next ASCENDANCY LEVEL. Using SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS from the {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM} will not add to the user's ASCENDANCY, at first, but instead subtract a SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF from the user's SOTERIOLOGY GUARD, which has a number of points equal to the user's LEVEL x10. When the SOTERIOLOGY GUARD has been exhausted, further use of GAMBITS from the {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM} will add ASCENDANCY, just as in the {CONCORD SYSTEM}.

Increasing one's ASCENDANCY LEVEL allows access to MORE and STRONGER SOTERIOLOGY GAMBITS - however, the higher one's ASCENDANCY LEVEL, the more humanity one loses.

<SOTERIOLOGY MENU {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM}: SATURN ASCENDANT>
[] [REWIND & RE-REVERSE] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 15
- Transforms the most recent friendly MISS into a HIT, or the most recent enemy HIT into a MISS.

<SOTERIOLOGY MENU {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM}:
MERCURY ASCENDANT>
[] [SPEEDY THING GOES IN...] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 10
- Absorbs the damage of a targeted enemy's next attack.
[...SPEEDY THING COMES OUT] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 10
- Delivers the damage absorbed by [SPEEDY THING GOES IN...] back to the original attacker.
- Activates automatically the turn after[SPEEDY THING GOES IN...] is used.

<SOTERIOLOGY MENU {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM}: LUNA ASCENDANT>
[] [MOONLIT MELEE] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 10
- Adds +10 to the NIMBLENESS scores of all PARTY MEMBERS until the end of the {BELLIGERENCE}
[] [PHANTOM THIEF] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 20
- Adds +20 to the NIMBLENESS score of the LUNA ASCENDANT USER and adds half their NIMBLENESS SCORE to the DAMAGE of their NEXT SUCCESSFUL ATTACK.
 
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{BELLIGERENCE} | MARS | {MOVEMENT I}
x8 [X] Lucy: <ITEM>
-[X] TRIDENT - pass to Owen

8x [X] Owen: <ATTACK>
-[X] MARS

x6 [X] Kala: <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>
-[X] [PHANTOM THIEF]

x2 [X] Kala: <CLASS MACHINATION>
-[X] [SNEAK ATTACK, BITCH!]
{BELLIGERENCE: MOVEMENT I}
TURN I: LUNA ASCENDANT (40 NIMBLENESS)(UNDETECTED)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [PHANTOM THIEF] (ST: 20)
[+20 NIMBLENESS]
[+30 DAMAGE on next ATTACK]
(VIT: 200)
(ÉLN: 40)
(SG: 20)

TURN II: MARS ASCENDANT (30 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [THERE BE DRAGONS HERE] (ST: 15)
[+20 FISTICUFFS until the end of BELLIGERENCE]
<Make one <ATTACK> on a random ADVERSARY>
> <ATTACK> LUCY CALLOWAY
{ATK(17) FST(65) | DEF(39) ACU(45)}
{82|84}
[ATTACK FAILED]
(VIT: ???)
(ÉLN: ???)
(SG: ???)

TURN III: MERCURY ASCENDANT (20 NIMBLENESS)
> <ATTACK> MARS
{ATK(35) FST(45) | DEF(31) NIM(25)}
{80|56}
[ATTACK SUCCESSFUL: 45 DMG]
(VIT: 230)
(ÉLN: 225)
(SG: 40)

TURN IV: SATURN ASCENDANT (0 NIMBLENESS)
> ITEM (TRIDENT)
[Passed to OWEN]
[OWEN has AUTO-EQUIPPED the TRIDENT]
(VIT: 300)
(ÉLN: 157)
(SG: 40)
As the beautiful, terrible, beautiful creature descends on you, red light following it, embracing it, almost seeming to carry it, you find yourself almost blinded, standing stock still, rooted in place like Owen was a few seconds ago - until you realise that the creature is swinging at you, a sharp, crystalline claw swinging through the air towards you. Possible trajectories flash through your mind, weight and shape and momentum all triangulating in the space of seconds, the pathways that the talon could take on its way to you materializing before your eyes, and in the fraction of a second before those projections become reality you take a neat, minimal little step back, with a polite little bow as the claws rend the air where you were standing moments before.

You briefly glance at the others - the TRIDENT in your hand feels heavy and useless, and you're sure either of them could make better use of it. Kala is nowhere to be seen - although the shimmering behind what you can only presume was once MOTH is telling. You're just about to pass the TRIDENT to Owen when Moth pulls back a claw to swing again - and is rudely interrupted by Owen sprinting up to him and, very rudely, punching him directly in the jaw - it's a punch from a child, what could it possibly do against that thing, you ask yourself, that thing of armor and jagged edges and perfect, perfect bone - but then the trajectories you're seeing realign themselves, warping ever so slightly, a subtle shuffling of a few numbers that would never be noticeable in a million years if there wasn't a resounding crack as Owen pulls his fist away, scowling. "Leave her alone!" he exclaims breathlessly. "That's... that's very rude, trying to kill people!"

You nod. "I agree with Owen," you add, hoping that Moth will feel socially ostracized as you pass Owen the TRIDENT, which he seems to wield with a curiously natural sort of grace. Your heart is pounding so hard that you feel it's going to burst your chest open, and your head hurts like anything - but you need to give Mari the time she needs to repair that elevator, and if a JUNIOR SLEUTH isn't prepared to steel themselves, banish the panic threatening to strangle them, and face danger for the sake of a client, they're not prepared to be a JUNIOR goddamn SLEUTH.

{BELLIGERENCE! MOVEMENT II}

KALA (200/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

OWEN (230/250)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

LUCY (300/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>
 
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{BELLIGERENCE} | MARS | {MOVEMENT II}
{BELLIGERENCE: MOVEMENT II}
TURN I: LUNA ASCENDANT (60 NIMBLENESS)(UNDETECTED)
> <CLASS MACHINATION> [SNEAK ATTACK, BITCH]
[Make two ATTACKS, using NIMBLENESS instead of FISTICUFFS for one of them]
- > <ATTACK> MARS
{ATK(17) NIM(60) | DEF(15) NIM(25)}
{77|40}
[ATTACK SUCCESSFUL: 60 DMG]
- [CRITICAL HIT!: +60 DMG]
- [PHANTOM THIEF: +30 DMG]
[KALA is no longer UNDETECTED]
[INVISIBLE INC] is no longer active! [-30 ÉLAN]
- > <ATTACK> MARS
{ATK(47) FST (25) | DEF 32 NIM (25)}
{72|57}
[ATTACK SUCCESSFUL: 25 DMG]
(VIT: 200)
(ÉLN: 10 [-30])
(SG: 20)

TURN II: MARS ASCENDANT (30 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [READY, AIM...] (ST: 25)
[+15 FISTICUFFS, +15 VIG, -5 NIMBLENESS for 3 MOVEMENTS]
[...FIRE!] will activate automatically next turn!
<Make one <ATTACK> on a random ADVERSARY>
> <ATTACK> OWEN MARTINEZ
{ATK(5) FST (80) | DEF (10) NIM (25)}
{85|35}
[ATTACK SUCCESFUL: 80 DMG]
(VIT: ??? [-185])
(ÉLN: ???)
(SG: ???[-25])

TURN III: MERCURY ASCENDANT (20 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [SPEEDY THING GOES IN...] (ST: 10)
[The next attack of the targeted enemy MARS will be absorbed!]
[... SPEEDY THING COMES OUT] will activate automatically next turn!
(VIT: 150 [-80])
(ÉLN: 225)
(SG: 30 [-15])

TURN IV: SATURN ASCENDANT (0 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [REWIND & RE-REVERSE] (ST: 15)
- > MARS: <ATTACK> OWEN MARTINEZ has been [REWIND AND RE-REVERSED]
- > [OWEN MARTINEZ: +80 VIT]
(VIT: 300)
(ÉLN: 157)
(SG: 25 (-15)

As Mars raises its warped, elegant, beautiful hand, a mass of bone and muscle and crystal, once more, you can't help but ask yourself where Kala is. Fortunately, it's only a few seconds before your question is answered - the air above Mars shimmers, a small and ragged figure flickering into place, still semi-translucent as she lifts a jagged SHARD OF GLASS above her head and drives it into the neck of the creature, lodging it between two plates of misshapen chitin, severing sinew and shattering some of the crystalline infection that bursts through the thing's flesh. Instead of blood, there's an explosion of RED DUST, and Kala struggles to hang on, seeking leverage on spikes and cartilage and exposed, grotesque, graceful bone. She manages to drive the SHARD OF GLASS back in, another puff of RED DUST releasing into the air as a shining, slick fluid starts to pour from the wound. It's bubbling and boiling and moving as it flows from Mars' back, like a living thing in its own right. Finally, Kala loses her grip, and the creature's violent, jerky movements knock her off her perch - she nearly falls prone, but at the last minute there's a flicker and she's on her feet, the red fluid coating her arms up to her elbows, SHARD OF GLASS still clutched so tightly you fear she might cut her palm open.

Mars' rage doesn't end there, however. It screams, a sound that pounds through your head, a shrill, agonized shriek combined with a booming, majestic roar that leaves a painful ringing in your ears as you feel the room shake around you, like a thing in pain. Hunkering down, the protrusions of bone on its back begin to ripple and crack, sinew twisting in on itself as new growth of crystals erupt all over Mars' back, a group of razor-sharp red spines that twitch and fan out intermittently as if they have a mind of their own. Then, it swings, this time taking aim at Owen, and it -

Hits, tearing through the flimsy hospital-gown like outfit he's wearing like paper, and his skin and like something only slightly less sturdy, leaving three gaping, bleeding gashes across his torso, a waterfall of blood washing over him -a waterfall like paper tearing -

Misses, as you shove him out of the way, the claw raking through the space where he was a few seconds ago and leaving a nasty gash on the floor. Owen looks mildly surprised, looking over the creature with mild disinterest and perhaps slight annoyance, as if it's an inconvenient family member standing in front of the TV screen while his favourite show is on. Looking at Owen gives you a bit of a headache, as the trajectories and predictions swirl around him, blurry and imprecise, ready to tip either way at a moment's notice, uncertainty and possibilities mounting and folding in upon themselves into impossible shapes.

[X] Talk to Owen
-[X] What was Moth like before the whole attacking people thing?
-[X] Do you have any idea how this transformation happened? Or clues?[X] Talk to Moth
-[X] Try to appeal to the kid inside if he's still there!

"Owen?" you call out, tentatively, not wanting to distract him from whatever he's doing to make things warp around him like they are.

"Luce?" he replies, his calm and cheerful tone dissonant to the situation.

"You wouldn't happen to be able to provide me with a psychological profile of our current adversary, would you?"

"A psychic lodge what?"

"What was Moth like?"

He pauses, his brow furrowing slightly. "He was... really anxious. Scared of, uh, basically everything that was scary, which is fair, but also of all the things that weren't scary. He kept talking about how he, uh, wanted to go home, because this place made him, like, super anxious. Which is kind of fair enough, considering, uh, the number of things that want to kill us here, is like, way more than it should be, which is zero. Zero is the number of things that should, uh, want to be killing you, on your average day, is my personal opinion. Everything just made him, uh, freak out, until he just kind of, uh, snapped, like one of those bits of wood that karate guys punch. With the splinters in that case being, uh, going crazy at me. And then running away. Do karate guys even get splinters? I guess if they did they've have to just like... deal with it. That's pretty cool of them if they do..."

While Owen rambles, you frown, wondering how on Earth you can use that information to your advantage.

KALA (200/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

OWEN (230/250)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>

[X] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>
- [X] [... SPEEDY THING GOES OUT]


LUCY (300/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

During {BELLIGERENCE}, the CLASS MACHINATION [DEDUCTION FOR DUMMIES] allows one to inspect an enemy's STATISTICS, MACHINATIONS & GAMBITS, which can often COME IN HANDY.
 
{BELLIGERENCE} | MARS | {MOVEMENT III}
{BELLIGERENCE: MOVEMENT III}

TURN I: LUNA ASCENDANT (60 NIMBLENESS)
> <CLASS MACHINATION> [SILENCE IS GOLDEN]
[Kala can become UNDETECTED without the need for a NIMBLENESS CHECK]
[KALA is now UNDETECTED]
[INVISIBLE INC] is now active! [+30 ÉLAN]
(VIT: 200)
(ÉLN: 40 [+30])
(SG: 20)

TURN II: MARS ASCENDANT (25 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [...FIRE!] (ST: 15)
[Makes TWO SALVOS of ATTACKS that can hit MULTIPLE TARGETS]
- > <ATTACK: PRIMARY SALVO>
[!!!] The <ATTACK: PRIMARY SALVO> was ABSORBED by the SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT [SPEEDY THING GOES IN...]
- > <ATTACK: SECONDARY SALVO I>
{ATK (5) (40) | DEF (29) ACU (45)}
{45|74}
[ATTACK FAILED]
- > <ATTACK: SECONDARY SALVO II>
{ATK (15)(40) | DEF (28) NIM (25)}
{55|53}
[ATTACK SUCCESSFUL: 40 DMG]
-> <ATTACK: SECONDARY SALVO III>
{ATK (45) (40) | DEF (27) NIM (60)}
{85|87}
[ATTACK FAILED]
<Make one <ATTACK> on a random ADVERSARY>
> <ATTACK> LUCY CALLOWAY
{ATK (31) FST (80) | DEF (45) ACU (45)}
{111|90}
[ATTACK SUCCESSFUL: 80 DMG]
(VIT: ???)
(ÉLN: ???)
(SG: ???[-15])

TURN III: MERCURY ASCENDANT (20 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [...SPEEDY THING COMES OUT](ST: 10)
[ATTACK AUTO-SUCCESSFUL: 80 DMG]
(VIT: 190 [-40])
(ÉLN: 225)
(SG: 20 [-10])

TURN IV: SATURN ASCENDANT (0 NIMBLENESS)
> <CLASS MACHINATION> [DEDUCTION FOR DUMMIES]
[MARS' MINUTIAE MATRIX can now be viewed!]
(VIT: 220 [-80])
(ÉLN: 157)
(SG: 25)

NAME: Timothy ????????
GENDER: Male
AGE: Around your own.
APPEARANCE: A towering, twisted monstrosity of bone and crystal.
CLASS: ROUGHHOUSIN' RUFFIAN
LVL: 5
STATUS: ASCENDANCY FORM I
VITALITY: 330/650
ÉLAN: 0/50
ASENDANCY: 0/300
LOST: SPIRITUALLY
CONFUSED: ENRAGED
WORRIED: PREVIOUSLY

STATS

GUM: 10
MOX: 0
ACU: 25
VIG: 50 <+15>
NIM: 30 <-5>
FST: 45 <+35>
LCK: ??

SOTERIOLOGY GUARD: 65/120

<SOTERIOLOGY MENU {BELLIGERENCE SYSTEM}: MARS ASCENDANT: LEVEL VI>
[THERE BE DRAGONS HERE] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 15
- Adds +20 to the FISTICUFFS score of the MARS ASCENDANT USER.
[READY, AIM...] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 25
- Adds +15 to the FISTICUFFS and VIGOR scores of the MARS ASCENDANT USER.
[...FIRE!] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 15
- Launches a PRIMARY SALVO and SECONDARY SALVO, two attacks which can hit MULTIPLE ENEMIES.
[WAR BUDDIES] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 30
- Adds +20 to the FISTICUFFS score of the MARS ASCENDANT USER and anyone in their PARTY.
[CASUS BELLUM] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 40
- MARKS an enemy. Any attacks to that enemy deal DOUBLE DAMAGE for the rest of the BELLIGERENCE.
[THANKS, BASTARDS] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 35
- Reflects damage done during the last MOVEMENT.
[APOCALYPSE HOW] - SOTERIOLOGY TARIFF 50
- Inflicts 100 VITALITY and ÉLAN damage to any enemy who fails a NIMBLENESS CHECK.

With another flicker, Kala is gone again - not that you have much time to think about this when you see the spines of red crystal on Mars' back start to lengthen and glow, illuminated from within with that red light before it screams again and the shards go flying off its back, embedding themselves into the walls of the room, one missing Mari's head by a centimeter. She doesn't even seem to notice, hands moving so quick it's almost a blur as she calls out over her shoulder, "Give me a few seconds, I'm almost done, it's nearly there!" A spear of red rock almost as tall as you are hurtles through the air towards you, the tip razor-sharp, and you're paralyzed. You stare, unmoving, unable to push your mind to think or act or do anything other than panic in stunned silence.

Then, the dizzying realignment in reality happens, a green tint reflected in Owen's eyes as the spear reverses course - it doesn't turn, no, it simply moves as if it had always been aimed at Mars, the momentum conserved and only the direction altered. You stare at Owen in awe - he takes a deep breath and stops to rest, panting, as a fragment of shrapnel from a crystal that shattered against the wall grazes his leg, blood pouring onto the floor. You're so focused for a moment that you barely notice when another fragment sails through the air to leave a nasty gash on your arm. It doesn't hurt as much as you think it should. This all seems unimportant, or unreal, or like it's happening to someone other than you. It's a terrifying feeling, but the terror, too, seems to belong to a stranger.

You look at Mars as it roars and swipes its claws through the air, and a million possibilities open up before you, possibilities where you see Mars billowing red dust or growing another layer of armour or breathing out a white-hot flame. The possibilities multiply, endlessly repeating, before collapsing into one, a snapshot of possibilities condensing themselves into one before you.
[X] Talk to Owen
-[X] Do you remember if Moth had anything with him back when you first met?

"Owen," you call out, blood trickling down your arm and seeping into the lining of your jacket.

"Luce," he responds, weary but still very much alert.

"Did Moth have anything with him, when he arrived?"

"Yeah. A baseball bat. It was funny, 'cause I had a ball, and he had a bat, so between us we could play baseball, if either of us knew how to play baseball. Which we didn't. I think there's hoops?"

"Hoops."

"Yeah."

{BELLIGERENCE! MOVEMENT IV}

KALA (200/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

OWEN (190/250)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>

LUCY (220/300)
[] <ATTACK>
[] <ITEM>
[] <CLASS MACHINATION>
[] <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT>
 
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{BELLIGERENCE} | MARS | {MOVEMENT IV}
{BELLIGERENCE: MOVEMENT IV}
TURN I: LUNA ASCENDANT (60 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [PHANTOM THIEF] (ST: 20)
[+20 NIMBLENESS]
[+40 DAMAGE on next ATTACK]
(VIT: 200)
(ÉLN: 40)
(SG: 0 [-20])

TURN II: MARS ASCENDANT (30 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [CASUS BELLUM] (ST: 40)
-> <TARGET> OWEN MARTINEZ
[OWEN MARTINEZ will now take double DAMAGE from all ATTACKS!]
(VIT: 330)
(ÉLN: 0)
(SG: 25 [-40])

TURN III: MERCURY ASCENDANT (20 NIMBLENESS)
> <SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT> [SPEEDY THING GOES IN...] (ST: 10)
[The next attack of the targeted enemy MARS will be absorbed!]
[... SPEEDY THING COMES OUT] will activate automatically next turn!
(VIT: 190)
(ÉLN: 225)
(SG: 10 [-10])

TURN IV: SATURN ASCENDANT (0 NIMBLENESS)
> <ITEM> (VERY SOFT CAT)
[Tossed at MARS]
(VIT: 220)
(ÉLN: 157)
(SG: 25)

A hint of a flicker out of the corner of your eye is the only hint you can decipher of Kala, even with all the information streaming directly into your mind at a million miles an hour the most you can make out is the occasional momentary blip, the tiniest fragment of missing information making the patterns irregular and giving you a hint that she's there at all, or, rather, that she even could be there. As she dances her dance of not-being-there, Mars lets out another bellow, swiping and missing at Owen - but something is different this time, the red getting into the swirl of warping possibilities around Owen. You can see him getting angrier, his next step putting him off-balance even as his eyes glow a bright green.

You yourself stay where you are. You almost don't realise that Mars is bearing down towards you until it's far too late to move out of the way, every possible attempt leading to a future where those terrible chitinous horns that seem more jagged prismatic mineral than organic creature impale you. You don't know what to do - but you have to do something. He was a kid, once, you think to yourself. A kid like you, or Mari. A scared, lonely, anxious, kid. Half on reflex, half deliberately, you take the VERY SOFT CAT in hand and toss it in Mars' direction. It sails through the air with all the grace of a drunken gerbil...

And is caught, in a misshapen talon, by the creature that now begins to shake and shudder, claws twitching and fiery red eyes still glowing like lanterns. The nonstop growth of layer upon layer of soot-black armour and chalk-white bone and veins of pulsing blood-red light slows for a few seconds, and the creature looks directly at you. It speaks. The voice is that of a boy your age, somehow coming out of the creature's multifaceted mandibles.

"It went mad," the voice whispers, high and shaky and terrified. "It went mad... all those years in the sky, all those centuries hurtling through the cosmos, how could it not... the warrior, made to run and run until its whole existence was nothing but running."

You feel a twinge of guilt coming from somewhere deep inside you and you don't understand why.

I AM SORRY. WE COULD NOT HAVE FOUGHT. NOT THEN. WE WOULD HAVE PERISHED, THEN.

Mars - no, Moth, keeps shaking, the layers of armour looking more and more like some sort of horrible predator from the depths of the Amazon that strangles and constricts its prey. "Run. We have hope, if you--"

"It's open, get in, you bloody imbeciles, we can go!" Mari shouts from behind you, her voice filled with concern. That concern, you're pretty sure, is the only thing that snaps you out of the enraptured, paralysed trance you were just caught in. Turning around, you see her gesturing impatiently at the open elevator.

[] Run! Run like your life depends on it, because it probably does!
[] Stand your ground and fight. You can't keep running forever.
[] Leave, but first...
- [Write-in]
 
> Questionably Soteriological: Chapter 4: Begin
QUESTIONABLY SOTERIOLOGICAL: CHAPTER 4

"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket.

INTERLUDE: DR. GENEVA
In a spacious office that seems much less spacious for the assortment of mechanical devices in various state of dissassembly strewn around it, with one door barricaded and the other one opening into some sort of auditorium, a tall, skinny man in a bloodstained white coat with an unruly mop of black hair atop his head is alone, sitting at a desk. His feet are up on the desk in a way he knows full well is both rude and unhygenic, and are taking up all of the free space on the desk not already taken up by a collection of knives, a computer monitor, and an assortment of handheld puzzles made out of metal, plastic, and wood.

A phone is ringing on his desk, and has been ringing for the last thirty minutes. The tall man is ignoring the phone, and knows exactly how annoying it must be to be on the other end of the phone and receive no answer from someone they know full well can reach the phone. Instead of answering, he gives a security camera a jaunty little wave and busies himself solving a Rubik's cube. The phone stops ringing.

A few seconds later, the phone begins to ring again. The man in the white coat yawns, stretches languidly, and finally reaches over to pick up the receiver with his long, slender fingers.

"Dr. Geneva," the voice on the other side of the phone begins; It is a male voice, with an upper-class English accent, dripping with the sort of friendliness that only exists to remind the listener of the potential for unfriendliness. The voice is about to continue when the man in the white coat interrupts it in a sing-song voice, with a curious accent that's some mixture of East Asian and Central European.

"Hello, Jack. So nice of you to call. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one putting any work into this relationship."

"Dr. Geneva, I really don't think it's the time for games, do you?"

Idly, as if on autopilot, the man in the white coat puts the (solved) Rubik's cube down and pulls a surgical scalpel from an inside pocket of his coat, twirling it around his fingers without looking at it. "Mr. Brighton," he replies, "I already know what time it is, and I don't recall asking for a subscription to the Speaking Clock."

"Don't fuck with me, you prick," the voice on the other side of the phone growls like a furious animal, all pretense of civilization lost for an instant before there are a few seconds of silence and he resumes with a touch more composure. "Might I remind you, my good man, that we had a deal? And may I, perhaps, go so far as to suggest that letting Helsinki through your wing unscathed was a glaring act of de facto betrayal?"

The man in the coat smirks, a smile like a knife wound. "Ah, yes. Well, I'm going to have to tell you, Jack, I really don't think that the reality of this situation is living up to your pitch. Besides, what can I say, he surrendered himself into my care. I'm hardly going to harm a patient, you know. I'm a man of medicine."

"Like hell you are, Fukui. You're an unscrupulous sociopath, and both you and I know that you don't have a moral bone in your body."

"Using my real name, wow, that's definitely a breach of security clearance. Naughty naughty. Perhaps I ought to report you to Dr. One Night In Paris so that she can tell you you're grounded. Besides," the scalpel is twirled quicker, moving fast enough that the blade, thin and razor-sharp, is a blur. "I actually know a lot more than you about the bones of the human body, Herr Brighton."

There's a moment of silence, and then a sigh from the other end of the phone, one expressing a mixture of mild irritation and the sort of disappointment one can only feel when they had no expectations to begin with. "This isn't funny, Geneva."

"It's very funny. I think it's hilarious."

"Is this it, then. Am I not going to be able to get a serious word out of you?"

"Well, let me see… after you betray me and leave me for dead, the only serious thing you are getting out of me, Mr. Brighton, is that I hope your ridiculous plan backfires and kills you horribly, and painfully." This last word is punctuated by the man in the white coat driving the scalpel into the table in a movement so fast it would be difficult to follow with the naked eye.

There are a few seconds of silence. When the voice on the other end of the phone replies, the warmth, the forced, bristling joviality, has been turned up another octave. "Be reasonable, Geneva, for God's sake. Ankara's off in some corner of her own maze, bleeding to death, Paris is holed up in her bunker waiting for her demise to come to her, my idiot brother's mad as a hatter - I'm the only one here offering you a way out."

The owner of the voice on the other end of the phone awaits a response from the man in the bloodstained coat - and he awaits one for an awkward period of time, and is on the point of hanging up when he hears the faintest sound come through the receiver - the sound of a viola, and faint singing, so off-key and grating it can't be anything other than deliberate.

"My father makes book on the corner,
My mother makes illicit gin.
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
My God how the money rolls in!"

Disgusted and furious, the man on the other side of the phone hangs up before he can hear the next verse.

In his office, the man in the white coat puts his viola down, grinning to himself. "Well, that went well."

*******

GAIA

A girl floats in a glass tube full of clear fluid, tubes supplying a variety of vividly coloured fluids to her as she sleeps. A brown-haired man puts a hand on the glass and smiles fondly at her. "Almost ready," he whispers, smiling gently. "We're almost ready."

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

*******

LUCY, MARI, OWEN, AND KALA
[x] Owen and Mars - Moth? - both have their Gambits activated, making the next attack on Owen deadly... to Moth. And it auto-connects.
-[x] Leave, but use your last free Soteriology Gambit on Moth to make sure it doesn't happen.
-[x] apologize that we can't help more and wish he and the cat stay safe.
-[X] Make sure he understands that we'll be coming back. Next time, when we're ready, we'll be running straight towards him! And we'll fix things!

As the elevator doors slide open, Mars screams that terrible scream again, the shrill, high-pitched fear of a child combined with the deafening roar of something else, something impossibly huge and impossibly angry. The ground seems to shake before Mars' feet as it charges directly towards Owen, who's glowing with a green light, the air around him almost humming with power, every molecule a coiled spring.

As Kala shimmers back in existence inside the elevator and you begin to move backwards, Owen stays where he is, a fierceness in his eyes you haven't seen before. He's not backing down, it seems, not even as the red veins across the back of Mars begin to bubble and burst, red fluid leaking out into the air in a fine mist, one that renders the world a red and furious haze. You feel like you're blind and death and on fire and in darkness all at once, and that terrible roar once more shakes you until you feel like your bones are shattering, until you feel like the world is ending, or maybe it has ended and you're experiencing your last moment of consciousness before everything is fire and ash and—

And then there's a crash, and you can see again, you can see Owen fall to the floor, the possibilites that coiled around him like snakes gone - Mars is on the other side of the room, crystalline armour damaged, weakly getting to its feet - weakly, but faster than Owen, and before you can do anything it's lumbering towards him, more furious than ever, swinging a razor-sharp claw at him as he stumbles to wake up and—

He stumbles furious damaged snakes a crash ash and fire and the world is ending shattering humming angry huge - a child.

{{ SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT: [APOCALYPSE HOW] }}
{{ SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT:
[...SPEEDY THING COMES OUT] }}
{{ SOTERIOLOGY GAMBIT:
[REWIND & RE-REVERSE] }}

And before Owen can release the crackling energy, you grab his arm and pull him bodily away from Mars, stepping into the elevator and taking him with you. The moment you grip him, he loses all resistance, meekly following as you yank him backwards, calling out, "Stay safe, Moth! Look after that cat! And give her a name, because all of the ideas I had were terribly silly! I promise we won't all be too long, and," your confidence, briefly faltering, picks itself back up again, twice as strong, and you offer Mars a grin, "And you can trust me, because a JUNIOR SLEUTH always keeps her word!"

And then the elevator doors close. Owen collapses against the side, finally seeming to notice that he's bleeding. Mari slams the "up" button with so much force you're almost surprised it doesn't break, and then, after a few seconds, throws her arms around you. "None of you," she says, like an empress issuing a royal decree, "Should ever be so bloody stupid and put yourselves in so much bloody danger ever again."

The moment is so poignant that it's not even ruined when tinny, irritating elevator music kicks in. In fact, the look of annoyance on Mari's face actually gets you to laugh - Owen soon follows, and, after glaring at you for a few seconds, even Mari sees the funny side. Although she's silent, from her shaking shoulders and wide grin, you're pretty sure Kala's laughing too.

[WHOLE PARTY: +25 ÉLAN]

You're alive. Moth's alive, you're certain of it now, somewhere inside that creature. Somewhere, in your heart, looking at your friends laughing over some silly elevator music, you feel like maybe things are going to turn out fine.

A little like last time, this chapter beginning is split into two parts, with the next part to be posted early next week, after I've dealt with the preposterous amount of work looming over me I've allowed to accumulate for this weekend. We'll finally be back to our regularly-scheduled puzzle solving! So, look forward to that, I guess. I'm sorry for the wait, and must once again profess myself grateful to all my readers for putting up with my terrible consistency!
 
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> Elevator: Arrive.
The elevator, after making you sit through what felt like Brahms' entire body of work filtered through the lens of Muzak, finally comes to a stop, the doors opening haltingly with an extremely unpleasant grinding sound. A shower of sparks and the distinct smell of smoke clue you in to the fact that you're not going to be going back down on it any time soon. The room in front of you is, quite frankly, a mess, and you resist the urge to tsk at the disarray because you're really too polite for that sort of thing.

Behind you, Mari makes a loud tsk sound.

You appear to be in a SMALL WAITING ROOM, opposite a sturdy-looking DOOR, hooked up to... well, you don't want to sound ALARMIST, so you'll call it a POSSIBLY IMPROVISED POTENTIALLY EXPLOSIVE, DEFINITELY A DEVICE, or a PIPE DAD for short. A white MEDICAL COAT is on the floor, stained with BLOOD, and an INTERCOM SPEAKER next to the DOOR is giving out bursts of PATCHY STATIC. To your LEFT is a VENDING MACHINE, and a RECEPTIONIST'S DESK, and to your RIGHT is an UNCOMFORTABLE-LOOKING COUCH and a bubbling but curiously sparsely populated AQUARIUM. A TABLE with a small STRONGBOX and several OLD MAGAZINES on it takes up the centre of the room.

A sign above the exit reads TO MEDICAL BAY. Looking around at the nasty scratches that Owen acquired during your fight with Mars, you feel like that might be somewhere you want to be.

[] Write-in: Solve the puzzle!

Can you believe it, this quest is back. This is a quest that can never die, apparently. I apologise yet again for this unconscionably long delay, but at least we're back to our regularly scheduled puzzle nonsense now.
 
> Mari & Owen: Examine PIPE DAD
[X] Take a moment to go around and offer hugs to your fellow kids. If Mari is still about that NO-HUG LIFE, then maybe an air-hug will be okay.
Still feeling the giddy relief of escaping from Mars, you cheerfully throw your arms around Owen, who makes a startled sort of yelping sound before accepting that he is simply going to be hugged and there are no two ways about it. You give Mari a glance, see her looking a little nervous, and smile. You wouldn't be any kind of JUNIOR SLEUTH without the three key traits of one: a BURNING SENSE OF JUSTICE, a KEEN HUNGER FOR THE TRUTH, and a DECENT RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES. Your attempt to give Kala a follow-up hug, unfortunately, just passes straight through her. You can tell she at least appreciates the sentiment.

You crack your knuckles, decide that the sound wasn't quite dramatic enough, wait a few minutes, and then crack them again, louder. Now it's time to get down to BUSINESS. Not that hugs aren't BUSINESS, of course. It's a well-known fact that any JUNIOR SLEUTH worth their HARDBOILED EGGS occasionally needs a hug to recharge their POWERS OF DEDUCTION. Or at least, it will be well-known after you tell everyone that.
[x] Mari: Use HIW on PIPE DAD
[X] Mari: What on earth is a PIPE DAD?
[X] Owen: sound ALARMIST.
[X] Mari: Pipe up if she sees anything interesting about the PIPE DAD.
"Not to be an alarm-clock-ist but holy heck, that's a bomb, and we're definitely all going to die," Owen immediately blurts out when he spots the PIPE DAD, before Mari shakes her head disapprovingly.

"Don't be alarmist, Martinez," she rebukes, a trace of her usual smug demeanor starting to filter back into her. "It's not that high-potency of an explosive. Since I'm standing behind you, you'd shield me from the blast, so we wouldn't all die. See? Nothing to worry about."

Owen, unsurprisingly, does not look particularly reassured as Marinette walks over to the device, studying it carefully and being careful not to touch it. "It seems like this thing is rigged to explode as soon as the door is opened. It's full of shrapnel, too, a very nasty piece of work. The work on this is exquisite."

You feel only a little concerned that she's talking about a deadly explosive the same way you might talk about a delicious cake. Eventually, she looks up from it.

"If I wanted to disarm this so we can move it safely, I'd need both a key and a passcode to take this panel off, and then a pair of tweezers and something sharp to actually work on the inside of it. And even then, I'd need some information from whoever set the blasted thing up."

"That's the worlds crappest shopping list," Owen grumbles, deciding that the threat of explodey death isn't quite as imminent as the desire to laze around on the couch.
[x] Luci: Examine AQUARIUM
The AQUARIUM is mostly except for a PARTICULARLY LARGE CRAB with visible CRYSTALLINE GROWTHS on the back of its shell. The CRAB is sat at one end of the AQUARIUM on a pile of SHINY TOKENS, SHINY BITS OF GLASS, and what looks like a GOLD WATCH, looking at you with as much SUSPICION as an INVERTEBRATE can muster. The intensity of this little guy's glare is enough to momentarily make you forget whether it's crabs that eat humans in seafood restaurants or the other way around.
[x] Search the couch! Is there anything on it? Is there anything in it? Like loose change? Can you bounce on the couch?
[X] Lucy: Check under COUCH.
[X] Lucy: Check behind COUCH.
[X] Lucy: Check within COUCH.
[X] Owen: Slouch upon COUCH.
Owen leans back and stretches on the COUCH, as you walk up to him with a smile and promptly begin to remove the cushions. "Luuuuuuce," he protests, as you JUMP UP AND DOWN, causing him to bounce along with you, but eventually he stands up, putting his hands sulkily in his pockets as you conduct your HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL INVESTIGATION SLASH BOUNCE PARTY. Unfortunately, all you find underneath the couch cushions is a PARTICULARLY SHINY CANDY WRAPPER. There's not even any candy in it.
[x] Examine VENDING MACHINE
Using your amazing deductive powers of BEING ABLE TO READ, it seems that this VENDING MACHINE only takes INSTITUTION TOKENS, as opposed to real money. While most of the things in the machine are bags of POTATO CHIPS and RICE CAKES, you notice that one slot is filled with a rather out-of-place roll of ELECTRICAL TAPE, which you can't imagine makes for a very good snack.
[X] Examine the MEDICAL COAT. Search the pockets! How much blood exactly is on it! Is it creepy cool, or just creepy? Search for hidden pockets!
[X] Lucy: Acquire and use DfD on LAB COAT
There are a lot of OLD STAINS on this coat which you REALLY, REALLY HOPE are COFFEE, even though that would only make sense if this coat was worn by someone OPERATING on CUPS OF COFFEE. It seems to be fitted to someone TALL and THIN. A THOROUGH SEARCH of the POCKETS brings up a STETHOSCOPE, a SILVER TOOTHPICK, and a SCALPEL. Wow, that looks ALMOST AS SHARP as your BRILLIANT INTELLECT. You smile and take a few moments to think about how CLEVER AND BRILLIANT you are. It's a lot. You're a lot... a lot clever. Yes. You're suddenly GLAD that none of the POWERS that you and your friends are developing include TELEPATHY.
[X] Examine the RECEPTIONIST'S DESK. Any drawers with interesting things? Any hidden drawers?
The contents of the drawers are MOSTLY MUNDANE, unremarkable things like TISSUES and LOLLIPOPS. One drawer, however, is LOCKED by a COMBINATION LOCK. Turning it experimentally yields quiet CLICKING NOISES, which are TOO QUIET to meaningfully differentiate. On the desk is a LAPTOP, which doesn't seem to be working. Whoever the receptionist is, it seems like this DESK hasn't been sat at in quite a while.
[X] Examine the TABLE and STRONGBOX. It doesn't look so tough!
[X] Mari: Use HiW on STRONGBOX
[x] Owen: Examine OLD MAGAZINES
"Alright, let's work as a team," you announce, looking over at Owen and Mari, who are currently fighting over who gets to sit on the most comfortable side of the couch and which side of the couch actually is the most comfortable. "Owen, you'll look at these magazines. Mari, you can examine the strongbox and I'll take... table duty." You feel like it's a bit of a weak finisher, but the two begrudgingly get up to do as you ask. Quickly, you add, "And Kala, um, check if there's any ways out of here that don't have any chance of explodey death." Kala nods.

After a few minutes of intently staring at the table to see if there's some secret code in the PATTERN of the WOOD'S GRAIN, you look up to realise the other three are STARING AT YOU. Clearing your throat as if you meant for this to happen, you stand up and authoritatively say "Just as I expected," to yourself to give the impression that you didn't just WASTE EVERYONE'S TIME. Mari, naturally, is the first to give a report.

"It's a five-digit code mechanism, I think, but there's ten numbers for the input? There's a very curious little logo on it too, look." She holds up the STRONGBOX to show the picture on the TOP, a HAND growing out of some ROOTS where you'd normally expect a TREE. Strange indeed.

"Right, well, I found, uh, some really good facts inside this one magazine, for example, did you know that an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain?"

"And how's that going to help us?" Mari snaps.

"Well, we might... we might have to solve an ostrich puzzle."

"An ostrich puzzle?" Mari says, with the tone of smug assurance one only has when in an argument one can win simply by repeating the other side's words back at them.

"Well... listen, all right..."

With a sigh, you turn away from the two bickering children to glance at Kala, who gives a simple shake of the head as the answer to her investigations before flickering out of sight again.
[x] Luci: Listen to the intercoms PATCHY STATIC is it busted or actually hidden code
[X] Mari: Use HIW on INTERCOM SPEAKER.
Walking over to the INTERCOM, you listen CLOSELY to the PATCHY STATIC, but you don't really get anything out of it other than a faint RINGING in your ear.

"Someone's trying to talk through it," Mari says from over your shoulder, nearly causing you to jump -- you only manage to keep your cool because you're a JUNIOR SLEUTH, and won't let yourself fall prey to such petty weaknesses as being STARTLED. "I think I could fix it so we could hear better, I just need a way to tape some of the parts back together."
[x] Owen: Examine own wounds
"Guys," Owen calls out from the COUCH, where he has once again settled, "How much blood is supposed to be inside your body?"

"About a gallon," you call back, this being the sort of thing you know from all of your favourite DETECTIVE SHOWS.

"Okay," Owen replies, pausing. "How much blood is supposed to be outside your body?"

Well, that's a fairly CONCERNING question. Looking back at him, you notice him examining the INJURES he's sustained fighting Mars. They don't SEEM too serious, but you're not exactly a QUALIFIED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. You're SHERLOCK HOLMES, not PROFESSOR MOTEL. That was the name of the show, right?
[X] Kala: Sit quietly in a corner and read HELSINKI'S MISSING JOURNALS, if you haven't already.
They're not very interesting. Mostly the arrogant man talking about how much he hates his coworkers. Secret plots with the nice lady. Other boring things.
 
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> Interlude: Workplace Christmas Party
APOLOGY OMAKE: Workplace Christmas Party
Workplace Christmas parties are the worst, Klaus Blumenthal -- although, of course, it's Helsinki, here -- thinks to himself as he sits in the corner of the room, sipping champagne and glaring at everyone else. He's wearing a bomber jacket and a blue-and-white-patterned sweater with a menorah stitched onto the front of it and the words "LET'S GET LIT" above it, and the fact that only Dr. Geneva found it funny is starting to concern him. God knows why a secret international organization even needs to have Christmas parties. Their line of work is not exactly one that leads to festive cheer. Well, he's got some festive cheer, all right, now that he thinks of it. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out a flask of something that smells and tastes like lighter fluid and upends it into his champagne glass. "Much better," he mumbles, grimacing at the taste as he downs the entire thing in a few seconds, before making a quiet choking sound. "Wait, fuck, no, that's actually the worst thing ever," he wheezes, eyes darting around for something to chase it down before landing on a glass of punch, which he quickly grabs and takes a gulp from before belatedly realizing it was being held in someone's hand. Dr. Ankara is looking at him with a mixture of amusement and disappointment.

"Thirsty, Klaus?" she comments, a smirk playing at her lips that makes him furious, the smug self-righteousness washing over him like a wave. Of course Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes isn't drinking, then she might actually do something embarrassing and not be able to lord how much better she is over everyone else, even when she's just as fucking bad. His thoughts threaten to escape him as they continue along this train, but he catches them just in time and manages to reply, sullenly.

"Thirsty schmirsty. You look like you're having fun."

"Well, I'm not," she replies, not a rebuke -- it's not pointed enough for that -- a simple contradiction. "This party is giving me a headache, and I don't even celebrate the holiday." She leans in conspiratorially. "Elaine being festive puts me in mind of some sort of communist dictator. Mandatory fun."

Despite every part of him desperately wanting not to find that funny, to spit out some barbed retort and wipe the smile off her face, Klaus can't help himself, and he snickers, trying and failing to hide it behind his hand. Well, fuck. He guesses it's not the end of the world. If you can't beat them, join them. "I feel like if I don't smile enough she'll have me executed by firing squad," he admits, and is pleased despite himself when miming the firing of an invisible rifle and making a 'pew pew' sound with his mouth gets a smile from her -- a genuine one, not even slightly condescending.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Fatima sighs. "I'm worried, Klaus," she says, in a hushed, subdued tone.

"Me too," he says, trying to buoy the mood. "I've heard on the office grapevine that Dr. Geneva is my giftgiver for the Secret Santa and I'm almost ninety percent sure he's going to be presenting me with a human organ in a cardboard box a few hours from now."

"I meant about the future," she says, attempt at levity tossed to the side in her wake, albeit with the ghost of a smile creeping at the corner of her mouth. That gives him some hope of steering the conversation yet.

"Fatima, it's Christmas. Cheer up."

"Neither of us celebrate Christmas, Klaus." She pauses, raising a single eyebrow. "Also, it's December 10th."

"Details, details, ten, twenty-five, basically the same number if you squint and you're super drunk. Which I am, and you should be too, to be honest."

"Sometimes, Klaus, I remember that you're one of the best biochemists in the world, and it makes me despair us all." The words are harsh, but her tone is soft, and a smile plays across her face. A lock of hair comes out of place and she adjusts it, sweeping it back underneath her hijab.

He grins, holding up a middle finger. "Despair away. You know what? Don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold as the snarky asshole who hates everyone, but you're not that bad."

Her smile widens. "I mean, I'd hate to ruin that reputation for you. I wouldn't want anyone to think of you as the snarky asshole who hates everyone except one person."

They both laugh, and for a few seconds, the Christmas party, the Consortium, and everything wrong with the world seem to fade away. It's just the two of them, here in this corner, against the world.

On the other side of the room, Stockholm is camping by the snacks, weighing up whether it's worth abandoning the cocktail sausages to get away from his conversation with Geneva, who is currently talking about the best way to amputate a leg. Kyoto is involved in a conversation with Paris that has all of the warmth and humanity of two robots doing their taxes. Jack and Charles, for their parts, are nowhere to be seen, the latter probably in his room moping, the former... who fucking knows where. And right now, Klaus thinks as the music blares, something loud and blaring by the White Stripes, as the lights flash and Fatima slides an arm around him and leans on his shoulder, who cares about Jack fucking Brighton.

"Take a selfie," he says, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I can send it to fucking Carlos and finally give him empirical proof I've got at least one friend, who's an actual living human being and everything."

"Nobody will believe it's not photoshopped," she says with an indulging smile, but she pulls her phone out and snaps a picture. The two of them, smiling, her arm around him. "The light's reflected off your glasses," she comments as she looks at the photo, "Why don't you take those things off so we can take a better one? We are indoors, in case you couldn't tell through those."

"Fuck you," he replies in response, taking another sip of her punch. "Merry fucking Christmas, Fatima."

"Merry..." she sighs dramatically, forcing the word out as if it's a Herculean task before changing her mind halfway through, "Fuuuuudging Christmas, Klaus."

Workplace Christmas parties are the worst, thinks Fatima Amjad -- although of course, it's Ankara, here -- but hey, they're not all bad.

Hello, everyone, to apologize for the lack of content over Christmas, here's a little thing I wrote, set in December. It doesn't really reveal anything but some characterization, but feel free to consider this part of the canon story, although obviously not something known to Lucy or her friends. I hope this and the update are worth the wait!
 
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