Still feeling the giddy relief of escaping from Mars, you cheerfully throw your arms around Owen, who makes a startled sort of yelping sound before accepting that he is simply going to be hugged and there are no two ways about it. You give Mari a glance, see her looking a little nervous, and smile. You wouldn't be any kind of JUNIOR SLEUTH without the three key traits of one: a BURNING SENSE OF JUSTICE, a KEEN HUNGER FOR THE TRUTH, and a DECENT RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES. Your attempt to give Kala a follow-up hug, unfortunately, just passes straight through her. You can tell she at least appreciates the sentiment.
You crack your knuckles, decide that the sound wasn't quite dramatic enough, wait a few minutes, and then crack them again, louder. Now it's time to get down to BUSINESS. Not that hugs aren't BUSINESS, of course. It's a well-known fact that any JUNIOR SLEUTH worth their HARDBOILED EGGS occasionally needs a hug to recharge their POWERS OF DEDUCTION. Or at least, it will be well-known after you tell everyone that.
"Not to be an alarm-clock-ist but holy heck, that's a bomb, and we're definitely all going to die," Owen immediately blurts out when he spots the PIPE DAD, before Mari shakes her head disapprovingly.
"Don't be alarmist, Martinez," she rebukes, a trace of her usual smug demeanor starting to filter back into her. "It's not that high-potency of an explosive. Since I'm standing behind you, you'd shield me from the blast, so we wouldn't all die. See? Nothing to worry about."
Owen, unsurprisingly, does not look particularly reassured as Marinette walks over to the device, studying it carefully and being careful not to touch it. "It seems like this thing is rigged to explode as soon as the door is opened. It's full of shrapnel, too, a very nasty piece of work. The work on this is exquisite."
You feel only a little concerned that she's talking about a deadly explosive the same way you might talk about a delicious cake. Eventually, she looks up from it.
"If I wanted to disarm this so we can move it safely, I'd need both a key and a passcode to take this panel off, and then a pair of tweezers and something sharp to actually work on the inside of it. And even then, I'd need some information from whoever set the blasted thing up."
"That's the worlds crappest shopping list," Owen grumbles, deciding that the threat of explodey death isn't quite as imminent as the desire to laze around on the couch.
The AQUARIUM is mostly except for a PARTICULARLY LARGE CRAB with visible CRYSTALLINE GROWTHS on the back of its shell. The CRAB is sat at one end of the AQUARIUM on a pile of SHINY TOKENS, SHINY BITS OF GLASS, and what looks like a GOLD WATCH, looking at you with as much SUSPICION as an INVERTEBRATE can muster. The intensity of this little guy's glare is enough to momentarily make you forget whether it's crabs that eat humans in seafood restaurants or the other way around.
Owen leans back and stretches on the COUCH, as you walk up to him with a smile and promptly begin to remove the cushions. "Luuuuuuce," he protests, as you JUMP UP AND DOWN, causing him to bounce along with you, but eventually he stands up, putting his hands sulkily in his pockets as you conduct your HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL INVESTIGATION SLASH BOUNCE PARTY. Unfortunately, all you find underneath the couch cushions is a PARTICULARLY SHINY CANDY WRAPPER. There's not even any candy in it.
Using your amazing deductive powers of BEING ABLE TO READ, it seems that this VENDING MACHINE only takes INSTITUTION TOKENS, as opposed to real money. While most of the things in the machine are bags of POTATO CHIPS and RICE CAKES, you notice that one slot is filled with a rather out-of-place roll of ELECTRICAL TAPE, which you can't imagine makes for a very good snack.
There are a lot of OLD STAINS on this coat which you REALLY, REALLY HOPE are COFFEE, even though that would only make sense if this coat was worn by someone OPERATING on CUPS OF COFFEE. It seems to be fitted to someone TALL and THIN. A THOROUGH SEARCH of the POCKETS brings up a STETHOSCOPE, a SILVER TOOTHPICK, and a SCALPEL. Wow, that looks ALMOST AS SHARP as your BRILLIANT INTELLECT. You smile and take a few moments to think about how CLEVER AND BRILLIANT you are. It's a lot. You're a lot... a lot clever. Yes. You're suddenly GLAD that none of the POWERS that you and your friends are developing include TELEPATHY.
The contents of the drawers are MOSTLY MUNDANE, unremarkable things like TISSUES and LOLLIPOPS. One drawer, however, is LOCKED by a COMBINATION LOCK. Turning it experimentally yields quiet CLICKING NOISES, which are TOO QUIET to meaningfully differentiate. On the desk is a LAPTOP, which doesn't seem to be working. Whoever the receptionist is, it seems like this DESK hasn't been sat at in quite a while.
"Alright, let's work as a team," you announce, looking over at Owen and Mari, who are currently fighting over who gets to sit on the most comfortable side of the couch and which side of the couch actually is the most comfortable. "Owen, you'll look at these magazines. Mari, you can examine the strongbox and I'll take... table duty." You feel like it's a bit of a weak finisher, but the two begrudgingly get up to do as you ask. Quickly, you add, "And Kala, um, check if there's any ways out of here that don't have any chance of explodey death." Kala nods.
After a few minutes of intently staring at the table to see if there's some secret code in the PATTERN of the WOOD'S GRAIN, you look up to realise the other three are STARING AT YOU. Clearing your throat as if you meant for this to happen, you stand up and authoritatively say "Just as I expected," to yourself to give the impression that you didn't just WASTE EVERYONE'S TIME. Mari, naturally, is the first to give a report.
"It's a five-digit code mechanism, I think, but there's ten numbers for the input? There's a very curious little logo on it too, look." She holds up the STRONGBOX to show the picture on the TOP, a HAND growing out of some ROOTS where you'd normally expect a TREE. Strange indeed.
"Right, well, I found, uh, some really good facts inside this one magazine, for example, did you know that an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain?"
"And how's that going to help us?" Mari snaps.
"Well, we might... we might have to solve an ostrich puzzle."
"An ostrich puzzle?" Mari says, with the tone of smug assurance one only has when in an argument one can win simply by repeating the other side's words back at them.
"Well... listen, all right..."
With a sigh, you turn away from the two bickering children to glance at Kala, who gives a simple shake of the head as the answer to her investigations before flickering out of sight again.
Walking over to the INTERCOM, you listen CLOSELY to the PATCHY STATIC, but you don't really get anything out of it other than a faint RINGING in your ear.
"Someone's trying to talk through it," Mari says from over your shoulder, nearly causing you to jump -- you only manage to keep your cool because you're a JUNIOR SLEUTH, and won't let yourself fall prey to such petty weaknesses as being STARTLED. "I think I could fix it so we could hear better, I just need a way to tape some of the parts back together."
"Guys," Owen calls out from the COUCH, where he has once again settled, "How much blood is supposed to be inside your body?"
"About a gallon," you call back, this being the sort of thing you know from all of your favourite DETECTIVE SHOWS.
"Okay," Owen replies, pausing. "How much blood is supposed to be outside your body?"
Well, that's a fairly CONCERNING question. Looking back at him, you notice him examining the INJURES he's sustained fighting Mars. They don't SEEM too serious, but you're not exactly a QUALIFIED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. You're SHERLOCK HOLMES, not PROFESSOR MOTEL. That was the name of the show, right?
They're not very interesting. Mostly the arrogant man talking about how much he hates his coworkers. Secret plots with the nice lady. Other boring things.
I feel like I'm actually capable of solving a few things from here!! WOO, surprise and surprise.
[X] Use the STETHOSCOPE to listen to the clicking of the DESK DRAWER COMBINATION LOCK. And then uh, try opening the safe.
[X] Does the HAND ROOT LOGO possibly mean that the combination is the square root of five? Anyway that's sqrt(5) = 2.23606798 which means if there's five digits that can be inserted then maybe the answer is 22360, or 23606! Try them out. If they are successful you guys can ROOT around the strongbox to your heart's content.
[X] Pass along the LOLLIPOPS to everyone to keep morale up. Sugar is good for the brain!
ANYWAY, with that in mind, we still have the shiny candy wrapper which may be related to the crab's hoard of tokens. Unfortunately I don't think we can bargain with the crab like that. We can still try tho~
"If I wanted to disarm this so we can move it safely, I'd need both a key and a passcode to take this panel off, and then a pair of tweezers and something sharp to actually work on the inside of it. And even then, I'd need some information from whoever set the blasted thing up."
Idk about the silver toothpick tho. Also we should totally bring tissues with us, tissues are good for multiple purposes like blowing your nose and allergies and potentially rigging facemasks.
They're not very interesting. Mostly the arrogant man talking about how much he hates his coworkers. Secret plots with the nice lady. Other boring things.
Oho! Now THAT'S interesting. The two docs were plotting together? This is especially interesting considering that our one most positively associated adult is in cahoots with the sociopath surgeon. If Dr. Geneva really does become an ally that will be really interesting.
We're going to need those tokens from the aquarium so we can buy electrical tape to fix the intercom. Might as well grab the watch at the same time, it's probably important. Anyone have good ideas for dealing with the crab?
Workplace Christmas parties are the worst, Klaus Blumenthal -- although, of course, it's Helsinki, here -- thinks to himself as he sits in the corner of the room, sipping champagne and glaring at everyone else. He's wearing a bomber jacket and a blue-and-white-patterned sweater with a menorah stitched onto the front of it and the words "LET'S GET LIT" above it, and the fact that only Dr. Geneva found it funny is starting to concern him. God knows why a secret international organization even needs to have Christmas parties. Their line of work is not exactly one that leads to festive cheer. Well, he's got some festive cheer, all right, now that he thinks of it. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out a flask of something that smells and tastes like lighter fluid and upends it into his champagne glass. "Much better," he mumbles, grimacing at the taste as he downs the entire thing in a few seconds, before making a quiet choking sound. "Wait, fuck, no, that's actually the worst thing ever," he wheezes, eyes darting around for something to chase it down before landing on a glass of punch, which he quickly grabs and takes a gulp from before belatedly realizing it was being held in someone's hand. Dr. Ankara is looking at him with a mixture of amusement and disappointment.
"Thirsty, Klaus?" she comments, a smirk playing at her lips that makes him furious, the smug self-righteousness washing over him like a wave. Of course Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes isn't drinking, then she might actually do something embarrassing and not be able to lord how much better she is over everyone else, even when she's just as fucking bad. His thoughts threaten to escape him as they continue along this train, but he catches them just in time and manages to reply, sullenly.
"Thirsty schmirsty. You look like you're having fun."
"Well, I'm not," she replies, not a rebuke -- it's not pointed enough for that -- a simple contradiction. "This party is giving me a headache, and I don't even celebrate the holiday." She leans in conspiratorially. "Elaine being festive puts me in mind of some sort of communist dictator. Mandatory fun."
Despite every part of him desperately wanting not to find that funny, to spit out some barbed retort and wipe the smile off her face, Klaus can't help himself, and he snickers, trying and failing to hide it behind his hand. Well, fuck. He guesses it's not the end of the world. If you can't beat them, join them. "I feel like if I don't smile enough she'll have me executed by firing squad," he admits, and is pleased despite himself when miming the firing of an invisible rifle and making a 'pew pew' sound with his mouth gets a smile from her -- a genuine one, not even slightly condescending.
After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Fatima sighs. "I'm worried, Klaus," she says, in a hushed, subdued tone.
"Me too," he says, trying to buoy the mood. "I've heard on the office grapevine that Dr. Geneva is my giftgiver for the Secret Santa and I'm almost ninety percent sure he's going to be presenting me with a human organ in a cardboard box a few hours from now."
"I meant about the future," she says, attempt at levity tossed to the side in her wake, albeit with the ghost of a smile creeping at the corner of her mouth. That gives him some hope of steering the conversation yet.
"Fatima, it's Christmas. Cheer up."
"Neither of us celebrate Christmas, Klaus." She pauses, raising a single eyebrow. "Also, it's December 10th."
"Details, details, ten, twenty-five, basically the same number if you squint and you're super drunk. Which I am, and you should be too, to be honest."
"Sometimes, Klaus, I remember that you're one of the best biochemists in the world, and it makes me despair us all." The words are harsh, but her tone is soft, and a smile plays across her face. A lock of hair comes out of place and she adjusts it, sweeping it back underneath her hijab.
He grins, holding up a middle finger. "Despair away. You know what? Don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold as the snarky asshole who hates everyone, but you're not that bad."
Her smile widens. "I mean, I'd hate to ruin that reputation for you. I wouldn't want anyone to think of you as the snarky asshole who hates everyone except one person."
They both laugh, and for a few seconds, the Christmas party, the Consortium, and everything wrong with the world seem to fade away. It's just the two of them, here in this corner, against the world.
On the other side of the room, Stockholm is camping by the snacks, weighing up whether it's worth abandoning the cocktail sausages to get away from his conversation with Geneva, who is currently talking about the best way to amputate a leg. Kyoto is involved in a conversation with Paris that has all of the warmth and humanity of two robots doing their taxes. Jack and Charles, for their parts, are nowhere to be seen, the latter probably in his room moping, the former... who fucking knows where. And right now, Klaus thinks as the music blares, something loud and blaring by the White Stripes, as the lights flash and Fatima slides an arm around him and leans on his shoulder, who cares about Jack fucking Brighton.
"Take a selfie," he says, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I can send it to fucking Carlos and finally give him empirical proof I've got at least one friend, who's an actual living human being and everything."
"Nobody will believe it's not photoshopped," she says with an indulging smile, but she pulls her phone out and snaps a picture. The two of them, smiling, her arm around him. "The light's reflected off your glasses," she comments as she looks at the photo, "Why don't you take those things off so we can take a better one? We are indoors, in case you couldn't tell through those."
"Fuck you," he replies in response, taking another sip of her punch. "Merry fucking Christmas, Fatima."
"Merry..." she sighs dramatically, forcing the word out as if it's a Herculean task before changing her mind halfway through, "Fuuuuudging Christmas, Klaus."
Workplace Christmas parties are the worst, thinks Fatima Amjad -- although of course, it's Ankara, here -- but hey, they're not all bad.
Hello, everyone, to apologize for the lack of content over Christmas, here's a little thing I wrote, set in December. It doesn't really reveal anything but some characterization, but feel free to consider this part of the canon story, although obviously not something known to Lucy or her friends. I hope this and the update are worth the wait!
Excellent.
No, wait- there's two updates. Double excellent.
Right so I don't have the time to get my think on properly right now, but by the time I have time I suspect the puzzles will be solved.
The two things I can think of
[X] Luci: EXAMINE MAGAZINES since Owen clearly does not have his detective snuff up to chops.
and maybe but probably not
[] Dump aquarium
I mean it's clearly not the intended solution but hey it might work?
[X] Does the HAND ROOT LOGO possibly mean that the combination is the square root of five? Anyway that's sqrt(5) = 2.23606798 which means if there's five digits that can be inserted then maybe the answer is 22360, or 23606! Try them out. If they are successful you guys can ROOT around the strongbox to your heart's content.
Hand. A lock mechanism of five digits. Root. Ten numbers for the input. The meaning is pretty clear, and you were likely right to interpret it as a square root, but we don't actually know the code yet.
[x] Combine BALL OF SILVER THREAD with a PARTICULARLY SHINY CANDY WRAPPER
-[x] Try to distract the PARTICULARLY LARGE CRAB away from his treasure pile. Maybe fish it out of the AQUARIUM entirely!
--[x] If it works, make a grab for those SHINY TOKENS and the GOLDEN WATCH while it's away!
Obviously those go to the Vending Machine for the Tape to fix the Intercom, but that comes later.
There's a reasonable chance that each digit (of the hand) corresponds to a digit (of the combination). I suspect something in the root structure gives the number for that digit? Either way, I think that we ought to
[X] DFD the HANDY ICON
Unrelatedly:
[X] Loan OWEN the CROWN OF POSIDEON so he can command the CRABBY CRAB
-[X] Giggle
Also, my sense of humor must be terrible as well because I smiled at the Menorah sweater. And Helsinki and Ankara are cute. It's actually cool to see their dynamic and standpoint against each other beforehand.
[X] Mari: Examine the LAPTOP. Is it beyond salvaging? Are there any interesting marks or panels on it?
[X] Lucy: use the SCALPEL on the COUCH CUSHIONS to see what's inside them.
[X] Owen: Mourn the loss of the couch. Truly, it was too innocent for this sinful Earth.
[x] Inspector the Crystals on the Crabs back
[x] Steal Take the gold watch out the aquarium while the Crabs distracted
[x] Try and reach for some tokens too
I think we might want a bit of the electrical tape for this? I'm trying to imagine tying a candy wrapper to a piece of string hard enough to lift up a struggling crab and it's not clicking.
Also, I'm getting really worried about Owen's health here...
The tape is in the vending machine, that needs tokens to operate, that are in the aquarium, guarded by the crab. So trying to use tape to move the crab is somewhat unlikely.
I don't think a crab weighs that much more than a cat, and a cat can be picked up with a wrapper and a thread just fine.
I only want to distract it anyway.
You can vote to perform first aid on Owen, you know? There is a MEDICAL BAY right there, and it's a riot-type quest when it comes to puzzles, meaning you don't need the consensus to attempt an action.
[X]Someone with necessary skills should perform first aid on Owen using supplies from FIRST AID KIT.
Edited once due to failed perception/memory check.
"We need a way to distract that horrid little beast so that we can get those tokens," Mari muses, staring pensively through the glass of the AQUARIUM. Owen, seeming like he's just had a breakthrough, leaps to his feet.
"I know! Luce, let me put that crown on."
You're a little hesitant about handing over the CROWN OF POSEIDON, even momentarily, but the amused little smirk that's already beginning to play around Mari's mouth makes it seem worth it. Slowly, you reach out to Owen, who puts it on and strikes a pose which he presumably imagines to be majestic before leaning over the AQUARIUM and clearing his throat. "Mr. Crab," he begins, with as much gravity as he can muster, "As you can see, this crown makes me a very important person, which means you really should be starting to leave post-haste, do you hear me?"
The CRAB stares impassively at him, beady little eyes burning with an antediluvian hate that no vertebrate creature could possibly comprehend.
[x] Combine BALL OF SILVER THREAD with a PARTICULARLY SHINY CANDY WRAPPER
-[x] Try to distract the PARTICULARLY LARGE CRAB away from his treasure pile. Maybe fish it out of the AQUARIUM entirely!
--[x] If it works, make a grab for those SHINY TOKENS and the GOLDEN WATCH while it's away!
While Owen moves on to making weird and vaguely off-putting clicking and squelching noises with his mouth because, in his words, "It probably only speaks Crabese," you tie some of your SILVER THREAD around the PARTICULARLY SHINY CANDY WRAPPER and, casting it out like a FISHING LINE, quickly grab the attention of the CRAB, who scuttles over it and quickly begins attempting to add to its already impressive hoard.
As it scuttles over to the other side of the AQUARIUM, you suddenly doubt your ability to grab the TOKENS or WATCH without it noticing in time to avoid getting your fingers snipped -- but then you see a strange ripple in the water, and Kala flickers into existence besides you, moving quickly enough that she's almost a blur as she pulls the TREASURES free and presses them into your hand before flickering back into her usual semi-visibility. The CRAB, realizing it's been bamboozled, scuttles up to the glass and glares at you with impotent fury. You stick your tongue out at it.
The CRYSTAL SPIRES on the CRAB'S shell somehow seem completely natural, like they complement its form instead of seeming like unsightly additions. You'd appreciate them as an AESTHETIC TOUCH if they didn't bring to mind images of similar crystals bursting through the MASS OF BONE AND MUSCLE that made up Mars' body.
"Mari, do you think you could use this stethoscope to disarm the--"
"No."
Well, that's that idea discarded. However, you suspect that it could be put to better use unlocking the DESK DRAWER -- after all, you did hear all that clicking. You put the STETHOSCOPE on, and briefly strike the kind of pose a COOL DOCTOR would strike on a show where a COOL DOCTOR does a lot of LIFE-SAVING SURGERY and BEING RUDE TO PEOPLE and an unrealistically negligible amount of PAPERWORK before putting it to the drawer and listening intently. This time, the clicks are much more pronounced, and it only takes a few minutes of experimentation to open the drawer. Inside are a PILE OF WATCH PARTS and a SILVER TOOTHPICK.
[X] Does the HAND ROOT LOGO possibly mean that the combination is the square root of five? Anyway that's sqrt(5) = 2.23606798 which means if there's five digits that can be inserted then maybe the answer is 22360, or 23606! Try them out. If they are successful you guys can ROOT around the strongbox to your heart's content.
[X] Pass along the LOLLIPOPS to everyone to keep morale up. Sugar is good for the brain!
There are, in fact, TEN DIGITS that can be entered. Trying the first TEN DIGITS of the square root of 5 doesn't get it to budge, neither does any any variation of it.
Wow, Ornithologist's Weekly really does say that an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Cool! Engrossed in the power of mildly interesting trivia, you continue reading for a lot longer than you should. Surely Mari and Owen will make good progress while you're busy, you tell yourself, knowing full well that when you look up they'll be arguing over what the best COLOUR is or something.
You finally look up from Cool Pictures of Coyotes Monthly to see Mari and Owen arguing over which is the best day of the week (Owen says it's Thursday, Mari thinks it's Friday). Taking a closer look at the DESK reveals very little, except that someone has rearranged the NUMBERS ROW on the laptop keyboard to replace the FIRST FIVE NUMBERS with a FIVE, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT, and NINE from the NUMBER PAD. How curious!
Something seems strange about these now that you have two of them... after a little careful examination, you realize that they've both got similar notches and grooves at the thicker ends. A few seconds later, you've slotted them together to create a PAIR OF TWEEZERS. Now you can TWEEZE to your heart's content!
[X] Lucy: use the SCALPEL on the COUCH CUSHIONS to see what's inside them.
[X] Owen: Mourn the loss of the couch. Truly, it was too innocent for this sinful Earth.
While you're opening the DRESS DRAWER, you hear a COMMOTION from the couch and look over to see Mari triumphantly standing over a BRUTALLY VIVISECTED COUCH CUSHION while Owen looks on in a combination of DESPAIR, SHOCK, HORROR, and INDIGNATION. Mari cackles. You decide you'll leave them to that.
