Authors note: I'm pretty sure this is considered a s**t post. You have been warned.
…Are we horrible people?
By Solar Gem X
It was a beautiful day in Horizon, the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming… and several key districts were probably on fire. Honestly, nothing new, let us turn the channel from this proverbial dumpster fire and show something more… calm? I Don't know if calm is the right word here…Distraction? Pass time? And Then X3? The mad ramblings of an individual that should not have been given so much power/ liberty to write stuff in the proverbial 4th wall? Hopefully, it loses its passport…ANYWAY!
Lets go take a detour several miles to the right as we see an individual who Is about to make a very, very, very dumb idea. (Did I mention this is bad?) Anyway, here we have an individual 18 something male adolescent, he is pretty much average, all things considered. Normal grades in his online courses, a splash of friends here and there, an interest in game design believe it or not, and an internet channel by the name Stardust TCG, a videogame and superhero speculation channel where the titular STCG plays games, talks about heroes, Power Interactions and all that jazz. He has a somewhat niche audience in the proverbial sea of hero channels in the world, and he is ok with that, so let's see what's he doing.
Stardust: Ok… mic check, camera check, images check. Ok we are all clear! 3, 2, 1 aaaaaand… Welcome back Starbrights, my name is Stardust TCG, and I welcome you back to a somewhat different episode to my usual content. You see dear viewers, Remember how I said I was going to show you some Tech picks for the Apiary Deck in Omega Heroes? Well… about that…I got banned from the game.
Don't worry! It's only temporary, Ill have my account back by next week and everything should go back to normal. Now you may be asking yourself, Stardust why did you get banned? And that dear viewer… well I basically got caught in the crossfire of some Admin bans when spectating an Omega Heroes match. The two players Earth Lord and Best Ant, who I'm pretty sure were Earthen Owl (Powers) and Bullant (Entomon's) were having a serious back and fort in the game, and from what I managed to piece together from their comments? This was like the third game they were playing in a series of video game rounds including the popular game Meta Chasers, among others. As the game continued, we were joined by Red Light and Star Rose Crusader, who began commenting the play by play, you know like those sport commentors we see in the TV sometimes. A couple of turns in they both began making jokes and taken some subtle potshots at the players, who took pot shots in return and at each other. After 30 minutes of potshots, innuendos (RL and SRC), yo mama jokes and the weirdest game of would you ever (Why did they but the timer to unlimited?) I Think Earth Lord figure out who Best Ant was? And proceeded to site copyright infringement or something among those lines, with Best Ant basically going no you back at him, this continued like for an additional 20 minutes as they completely forgot of the 3 spectators, and then an admin came in, took one look at the Circus going on and basically gave everyone a 1-week ban, no questions asked. Sooooo yeah that was my weekend, so as I scrambled to make a new video idea, I got contacted by Red Light and they gave me an idea.
Welcome to Cards against Humanity- Hero Edition!
If you an innocent civilian, run while you still can. If not?
Welcome To HELL!
*Danger*
Stardust: …Well isn't that just comforting… so yeah CaH video. I will be drawing a set cards, lets say 10? Yes, 10 cards This cards will have a prompt with a [BLANK] in it and we need to fill that blank with words or sentences from a different deck, lets say 4 for every prompt, so 40 in total. I will show you the cards and the prompt and will leave a poll down in the description below where you, yes YOU will fill in the answer, afterwards I will try my best to make a skit about the answers. Got all that? Great! Let's begin with…
1. I've done it! I have discovered Scarlet Maturity's weakness, it's [BLANK].
A. Fabulous Men in tight shorts.
B. Grandpa's Ashes
C. An Overpowered Anime Protagonist
D. Totally Not Godzilla
Stardust: Oh Leviathans Blood, why….?
2. Oh No, Valiant Silver has been Arrested! Her crime was [BLANK].
A. Stealing the entirety of Uiara's secret Money vault!
B. Uploading 10 Terabytes of "Peak Fiction" on government Servers
C. A Blown-Up University
D. Tax Evasion
Stardust: …I think the first two count as foreplay in some circles… if anything I have read of the hero is true anyway… all of these are like
really appropriate. Ok Next!
3. Lady Leizi is the most famously known hero for [BLANK].
A. Gang Murder
B. BDSM
C. Bad Life Decisions
D. Ranking among the top 10 " Nicest people in Horizon".
STCG: Well…some of these are a thing…
4. In the popular Written series " My Mom is the Demon Lord, and my Dad is a Lawyer," the secret Finale twist is [BLANK].
A. Everything was a Dream…
B. Two midgets reading "Silver Water" fic's in a Box
C. A windmill filled with singing goats.
D. A mime having a Stroke.
STCG: Ehh… *shrugs*
5. Horizon, 'tis of the sweet land of [Blank].
A. Obesity
B. Eldritch Horrors
C. Soft, wet Muppets doing the Cha Cha.
D. Plot
STCG: Why do 2 of these feel strangely targeted?
6. With enough Time and Pressure, Even [BLANK] can be made [BLANK].
A. An Egg
B. Rainbow Bright GAAAAAAAYYY! *YAY*
C. Technicolor Ponies
D. The Fear of naked Mole Rats
E. An Angry Woman
F. An Erotic Writer
STCG: Something, something,
Rainbows.
7. Earthen Owl stands before you, You defend yourself with [Blank].
A. A mechanical Super Fighting Bettle
B. A Shonen Harem Protagonist
C. Apiary Playing "Ride of the Valkyries"
D. Crab Rave
STCG: The Irony is palpable.
8. Uiara is planning on investing! You convince her to invest in [Blank].
A. A bad Education System.
B. A Hockey Ring.
C. A Lesbian Powered Death Ray.
D. The Ball Crusher 8000! TM, now in Gold and Silver colors!
STCG: ~2 of these are not like the others~
9. A Named Behemoth Stands between you and a Cookie Jar, you use [BLANK] the Greatest of Weapons!
A. Radiant Silver Girl
B. So-So RNG (Added this one mid rolls)
C. Dr. Iblis' Mad Science!
D. Crippling Debt
STCG: This one was kind of weak ngl…
10. Oh? You're comparing yourself to me, [BLANK]? HA! Your not even worthy to be my [BLANK]!
A. Alcoholism
B. God
C. White Hawk Privilege.
D. Power Point Presentation
E. My Worthless Son
F. Secret Pleasure
STCG: And that should be it. Make sure to leave your votes in the poll, below and I will see you guys again next Time. Stardust out!
Authors Note 2: I have no idea what I am doing. Also wrote this as Bitterman finished the voting period sooo, oh boy *Sees two omake points heading into the field of battle alongside two other allies*
O7 Lightspeed you wonderful bastards…
Edit: Man... those rolls were a thing huh?