Noblesse Oblige [Znt/SI]

[DrMethilon]

Lulu

Click to shrink...

Wait a minute. Her sibling calls her Lulu, her runic name is going to be The Zero, she will have a claim to the Tristainian throne via adoption AND possesses an ancient magic ability that gives her unimaginable power against her foes, that no one else has.

............Shade, are you trying to turn Louise into fem!Lelouch Lamperouge? Because if you are, then Halkeginia won't know what hit her.

In fact, have this angsty omake thanks to your Muse tickling mine.


Omake: The Pink Knight Rises

It was a dark and stormy night in the land of Tristain. The peasants of the nearby villages had gathered inside their houses to protect themselves from the rain, while the nobles feasted inside their mighty castles, enjoying the warmth their marble fireplace was giving their well-endowed forms.

Inside an unknown underground cave, a lone figure was sitting in a wooden desk, going through a large pile of papers on it's left, a small candle illuminating the rocky interior. The room itself was fairly spartan, with the small bed on the side being the only other furniture apart from the desk and the chair in which the figure was sitting. Said person would be fairly unremarkable, with it's average height and cloak that concealed any familiar characteristics, if not for the vibrant short-cropped pink hair on it's head.

Louise The Zero, formerly Louise Le Blanc De La Valliere rubbed her tired eyes as she put her signature on another damn requisition paper before she deposited it on the finished pile to her right.

Paperwork, she hated paperwork. It was dull, repetitive and never-ending. If there was any sort of Hell in the Afterlife, it would probably be filling in paper the names of every S.O.B that entered this cursed place, something the world didn't have in small storage. "I had rather face Mother again than read one more paper" Henry would always bemoan.

She scowled as that particular memory entered her head, her fist clenching around the quill and bending it with sheer force. She dropped it in her desk, while with her other hand, she reached for one of her drawers. Opening it up, she drew a large bottle of red wine, half-empty but still good for what she wanted it for.

Closing the drawer, she decided to take a break before she took vengeance on all that blasted paper and walked to her bed, sitting on top of it and popping the cork from the bottle. She then took a huge gulp from it's contents, the sweet and sour taste of the wine stinging her throat, but making her slightly more relaxed as it deposited on her stomach.

If someone had told her that the mere sound of anything that reminded her of her brother would make her want to be silly drunk, then she would have laughed at her faces. After all, Henry was one of the few things in her miserable childhood that could make her truly happy.

Despite what everybody else says, it wasn't easy being the youngest sibling, especially to a prestigious family like the De Vallieres. Eleanor accepted into the prestigious Academy, Cattleya able to tame even the most nomadic of animals and Henry becoming the Prince-Consort of one of Halkeginia's superpowers, left her, little abnormal Louise.

Hell, she was probably only good as breeding stock, married to some fat unimportant earl, churning out babies with the Valliere name, to be introduced into the Rule of Steel and be very important and powerful nobles and blablabla, who gives a shit!

Not a bad life though, to be honest. After a baby or two, her husband would have an unfortunate 'accident', leaving her with enough money and prestige to die a fat and slow death and deposited in the nice and comfy family crypt to ride out the Afterlife.

She took another gulp of wine, letting the alcohol run through her blood stream and calm down her fraying nerves. Of course that was not meant to be, instead she had to get a loving and caring brother who wanted to make sure she unlocked her true potential and prove herself to the world.

When she whined about producing only explosions, he said that they were pretty impressive and useful and showed her ways to exploit them.

"Always remember Lulu, there is no such thing as a useless power. A low powered man with a huge imagination will always beat someone who uses a high power straightforward".

When she cried herself dry over her 'flattering' runic name, he was there to lend a shoulder to cry on and told her an interesting theory that made accept her nickname a little.

"They call you The Zero and think it is an insult. They forget that an explosion from you will turn them into zeroes if you are ever on opposite sides. A little intimidation and demonstration will make them reconsider their stance on you". They most certainly did, when they saw what she did to an orc they encountered in a field trip. Her blood-spattered form would remain in their minds for years and it only cost her one clean uniform.

And when she was distressed over her small and unattractive stature, he just showed her an old portrait of Mother and effectively smothered her worries to nothing.

"Let them mock your appearance behind your back. When they are old and wrinkly, they will look at your beauty and pristine form with envy and hate. Then you will have the last laugh over their unflattering forms".

While Cattleya always tried to cheer her up, her usual expression was that of 'everything would be alright in the end'. Brother believed that she should grab everything by the hair and make it do it alright by force if necessary.

Her life was getting better day by day. Between Tiffania, Josette and Charlotte at her side in the academy, Matilda and Cattleya in her home, Princess Henrietta at the castle and the occasional visits from Henry and Eleanor, she was the happiest girl in the whole of Halkeginia.

Of course, life had to come take it away from her.

When Reconquista took Albion, a month before she was about to begin her second year, no one really thought much of it. Tristain was in an alliance with Gallia and Germania had the strongest Military in the world, which meant that unless they didn't want to risk getting destroyed by one of the two powerful countries, they had to content themselves with just the White Country.

No one thought that they would have the guts to kidnap Henry De La Valliere de Gallia, Prince-Consort and husband of the royal heir, Isabella de Gallia, right under the noses of his royal guards.

The only reason they knew it was Reconquista, was because the filthy scum had the gall to sent a letter, requesting the abolishment of the alliance between Tristain and Gallia and the marriage of Princess Isabella with the new ruler of Albion, Oliver Cromwell, if they didn't want to get Henry back in pieces.

As proof of their capture, they sent a foul-smelling bag containing one of 'Valliere's most precious things in the world'. While it was pretty mangled, the eyes had been gauged out and it was in a advanced stage of decomposition, she would never mistake Raven's rotten head as it hit the floor with a wet slap.

If Albion believed that they would threaten Tristain to submission, then they thought wrong. Princess Isabella was beyond outraged at Reconquista's actions and immediately called the Petite Armee to arms against the Albion goverment. King Joseph not only did not contradict her actions, but also lend her Henry's Marshal duties until he was returned safe and sound. If not for the bored and callous tone he used while he did that, she would have thought he actually cared for him.

While the armies were getting prepared, Louise was busy fighting her own war with her parents.

'Absolutely not, I forbid you from going to Albion'

'Mother, I am near 17 years old. I am old enough to be responsible for my actions'

'Louise, my dear. Your mother and I are just worried that you are not thinking straight, that you are getting ahead of yourself'

'Ahead of myself? Father, this is Henry we are talking about, YOUR SON and my brother. I can not stand and do nothing while these scum do who knows what to him'

'Your sisters are actually calmly thinking this through.....'

'Big Sis Eleanor had to be bodily restrained by the Academy professors to not get herself enlisted and Cattleya made Wardes promise to 'make the bastards who hurt her twin pay'. Cattleya said that, Father, did she sound calm to you?'

'It matters not Louise, you are still not joining the war and that is final'

'I am here for neither your permission nor your blessing, Mother. I am going to go rescue Big Brother with or without your help'

'Then you leave me no choice. Louise Le Blanc De La Valliere, as Matriarch of the Valliere Family, I hereby order you to stay in this house until the end of this war. Disobey and you will be stripped of your rank and no longer be welcome in Valliere lands.

'Dear! I think that is a bit excessive.....'

'Silence, Pierre. Louise needs to learn her place as a noble and as to who is in charge in this house'

'If that's the case, then I suppose this is goodbye'

'Louise, what are you....'

'Thank you Mother, Father, for selflessly taking care of me all these years'

'Stop, this is not funny.....'

'Tell Eleanor and Cattleya that I love them and I wish them all the happiness in the world'

'This isn't a game, you can never come back here. Do you even comprehend what are you doing?'

'I am well aware of that, Father. But Henry is more important to me than all the prestige and money in the world. I will rescue him even if it's the last thing I will do. Farewell and may the Founder be with you'

'Please don't go'

Louise could have sworn she heard that last part from her mother, but it was so soft and barely audible, it could have just been her imagination. Still she opened the door of her house and walked away without hesitation, leaving her old name behind and fresh tears marring her face , as she was now effectively an orphan.

The first thing she did was travel to the nearest recruitment office out of Valliere territory. When she classified herself as a fallen noble, she was immediately assigned to the Petitee Armee's 4th Battalion, under the command of Captain Agnes De Milan. While she was pleasantly surprised to find her CO was a woman (and a very pretty one at that), all of that was squashed away once she proved why exactly she earned her position.

For the next two weeks, Louise was put through what they referred to as 'Boot Camp', although 'Hell on Halkeginia' was a better suited name in her mind. She learned everything from sword fighting to tactical thinking, to accuracy testing, even her cooking skills were put to the test, because as Captain De Milan put it: 'Dying by putting your head in front of an enemy musket is damn stupid. Dying puking blood because you didn't know that this mushroom was poisonous is fucking retarded'.

While back then she loathed the woman and wished her a most violent and foul death, later she admitted to herself that if not for her training, she would have died way sooner than she thought.

She also found out that wars were nothing like what they told in the fairy tails. No honorable duels, no maids in distress, no armies fighting while classing swords valiantly with one another. Instead what she got was screaming, explosions and lots of smoke that burned her eyes.

She remembered her first kill: a young Dragon Knight that swooped low enough to kill the Sargeant next to her, but not high enough to evade her point blank blast that completely evaporated his head, leaving only a bloody mist. Thankfully the Captain's 'kill first, cry later' mindset was firmly established on her head and thus she didn't freeze, scoring more hits and adding future nightmares that would accompany many other ones in the future.

Her actions didn't go unnoticed by her fellow soldiers and she earned a new Runic name: The Pink Mist, which she had to admit sounded way cooler than The Zero. Even the officers started to get more interested in her ability to turn people to chunky salsa and considering her for a promotion.

By the time they reached the capital city of Londonium, she was a freshly minted Sargeant, leading her own squad, who had just recieved the important mission of rescuing Prince Henry while the Albionese Army was busy fighting their main force.

Thanks to her set of skills and her experienced squad, she managed to reach the prison cell where Henry was held and experience one of the worst memories in her life.

She remembered Henry as being tall and proud, with long black hair and slightly tan skin, dressed in fine silk clothes and a long cape, with a bright and sunny smile that made everyone feel warm just be seeing it.

This..... thing was not the Henry she knew. It was gnarly and boney like, to the point that she could see it's ribs from the chest like area. It's head was bald, with some thin greasy black strings coming out of the top, like dry weeds in a desert and the eye sockets were black and dripping with yellow puss, as if someone had poked them with a hot iron. It's legs and arms were mangled and twisted in wrong directions, scars making criss cross patterns on the wrinkly skin, completing the macabre spectacle. As if that wasn't enough, it opened it's mouth, revealing the few rotting and black teeth that hadn't fallen off and let out some sort of sound.

'u-uuuuu'

'Henry, is that you? You, get some water magic on him, stat!'

'Yes, ma'am!'

'uuuuuuuuu- uccccccccccc'

'Don't you recognise me? It's me, Louise'

'uuuccccccccccc- uccccccccccciiiiiiiii'

'Your little Lulu, yes. I have come for you, big brother!'

'uuuuccccccccccciiiiiiddddddddd'

'Yes, Isabella is on her way here as well. Tiffania, Matilda, Charlotte, Josette, Captain Wardes and De Milan, Henriette, Antoine, Andre and even Mother and Father are all here for you'

'uuuucccccciidiiiiiii'

'Please, Brother, just hang on a while longer. Our army will soon win and get you out of this dreadful place'

'uccciiiiiiidddddddiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiii'

'What? Brother, what are you saying?'

'uccciiiddiiimmiiiii'

'No, I am not hearing this right. My Romalian must be rusty, yes that must be it! You are my brave Henry, you would never ask this of me.

'U-CCI-DI-MI'

'You can't give up now, Brother. You will soon be back home, with your family. Cattleya and Eleanor both wish you back dearly. Do you want to make them sad?'

'Uccidimi, p-per fffavvvore'

'Never, you hear me! I will make sure you get out alive even if I have to carry you out'

't-ttroppo tardiiiiiiiii'

'What do you mean it's too late? Brother, what's wrong, why did you stop moving?'

'mmmooooorenttttttttteeeeee'

'No, no, NO. You won't die, stupid Henry, you will leave here alive and come back to us. Pump more water magic on him'

'I am trying, but his wounds are too severe and I can't heal them faster than new ones open'

'Try harder then!'

'Addio, Lulu. S-savoiaaaaaaaaaaaaa'

'Brother, don't say goodbye, you are not going anywhere. Henry, stop playing jokes, keep talking.

'Ma'am, he is gone'

'No, he is not. Keep pumping more magic, I don't care if you run out of willpower, KEEP GOING, THAT'S AN ORDER'

'He doesn't have a pulse, he is dead'

'It's just weakened, that's all. He is just making a prank, that's all. Henry loves to make inappropiate pranks, he is such a kidder. This one time when we were children he told me th-'

'Ma'am, please. There is nothing we can do anymore'

Louise remembered how she felt her knees buckle as she fell hard to the floor in a faint, she remembers the Founder's Holy Book, a farewell gift from Henrietta, dropping from her pocket right next to her, she remembers the screams and sobs she let out despite looking unconsious, the soft light coming from the book and the shocked looks of her compatriots.

But most of all she remembers the feeling she had at this particular point in time.

HATE

She felt her body getting up as in autopilot, grabbing the book from the ground and removing her wand from her holster, steadily making her way to the roof, her worried squadmates following her, first asking questions about their destination and then in silence when she wouldn't respond.

During their walk, she was chanting words that she didn't even know the meaning of, but could feel the energygreatnesspower leaking from them.

She finally made it to the building's roof and looked at the battlefield below her. Swords were clashing, lances were thrust, arrows were shot and magic blasts decimated friend and foe alike.

Louise however was looking for the monster who did this to her beloved brother

DESTROY ANNIHILATE

Her eyes scanned the sky searching for any sign of Cromwell's whereabouts. Finally she caught sight of Albion's flagship, the Lexington, fleeing the battle, possibly with the government aboard. They would not get away!


KILL MAIM BURN


She pointed her wand at the ship, letting out a scream of utter rage and hate at it's inhabitants.

EXPLOSION!

The last thing she remembers after that was a white nothingness enveloping the ship, before she dropped exhausted into the floor.


Back in the present, Louise drained the last few drops of the wine bottle, shaking for good measure before throwing it to the wall with all the force she could muster.

Ever since she returned from Albion, she had been more prone to drinking than she could ever remember before. Her impressive display during the Battle of Londomium earned the Medal of Duty and the rank of Lieutenant, with people hailing her as a hero.

Hero? Medals? Ha, what a joke! For all her power, she couldn't even save her own flesh and blood, when he was right in front of her. Hell, she couldn't even go to his funeral, because he was buried in the Valliere family crypt.

It was then that she made a promise to herself, that she would whatever was necessary to make herself worthy of being called the Vicious Wind's sister. That she would follow the Rule Of Steel better than her own mother did and that she would become the most powerful mage in the world.

So this time, when Charles murdered his own brother, exiled his niece and made himself the King of Gallia, she didn't immediately attack. When her spies in the Gallian court reported that Charles was funding Reconquista and if not for Cromwell's idiocy, Henry would have been tortured and dead in the Germanian dungeon, she did not rage and flail aimlessly.

Instead, she waited and gathered every single resource she could use.

"You have need of me, Master?'

Every resource.

She turned and look at her.... Familiar, a scowl twisting her mouth despite her best judgement. She disliked her Familiar to be honest. He was sarcastic, he joked at inappropiate times, he drunk odd drinks all the time, said phrases that made absolutely no sense and yet he somehow found them funny and worst of all, it was those facial characteristics, the hair, the eyes.

So much like his.

"I know you have a dry spell lately my Master, but Familiar inter-species relationships are generaly frowned upon these days. Please refrain from giving me the bedroom eyes".

She rolled her eyes, she didn't have time to deal with his immature behavior, today was an important day.

"Is everyone ready for today?"

"Yes, we are all waiting for you, my ever so late Master"

"I am ready, just need to put on my mask. I would prefer you refer me by my official title if you would."

"As you wish, Master Zero"

"Very well, follow me Fam-" Right, she couldn't call him Familiar without getting her cover blown as a Void Mage"Kagayaku".

"Of course, Master Zero. Your humble servant, Emiya Kagayaku, is at your beck and call".

"Let's go, it's time to begin Operation Overlord".


The End.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter One Hundred

Since I was hurt by the explosion, I ended up in the royal infirmary of Grand Troyes with a fretting Isabella by my side -once she recovered from her fainting spell, that was. Well, not as much fretting as angry like a mother duck when you grab one of its ducklings. The fact she was literally steps away from chewing off the head of the head water mage because he had taken more than twenty seconds to start chanting in order to close my wound was touching, but largely unneeded.

The royal infirmary was a large room filled with equally large and sumptuous beds meant for royals, esteemed guests, knights of the Parterre, and much more. Richly paid Water mages took care of healing the nobles with impeccable efficiency, and the commoners themselves were well-versed in the arts of healing, if without the use of magic. They all wore white with light blue colors, and the head Healer was an old portly man who was trying his hardest not to send to hell Isabella for distracting him from his task.

"Dear, dear-"

"He could have bled to death, look at all this blood! And you call yourself-"

"Dear!" I exclaimed, catching her attention and making the water mage in question sigh in relief. "The wound is closed. I am fine. No, your father is not to blame. He did not do it intentionally, and please stop waving your royal scepter around or the servants won't be able to help in getting me out of these clothes."

"Of course my Henry! Well! What are you waiting for?!" Isabella snapped as she dutifully moved to the other side of the bed to allow passage for the commoners who were in charge of cutting my clothes off my body and washing away the mixture of blood and wine that had stuck to my chest. "Who cares about saving the golden buttons? We'll have new ones made-cut away!"

"Not my trousers!" I said firmly, much to Isabella's pout which made me kind of shiver.

She then had an armchair brought over from a nearby room and sat down right by my side even as a cold pack was applied to the back of my head like a pillow, and I was forced to drink down a brew of herbs and reagents meant to seal the wound and prevent unnecessary clots or ensuing complications.

"What were you and father thinking? This is his fault, isn't it?" Isabella asked, her hands firmly gripping mine to the point where I was starting to think I'd lose the limb if she didn't let go, or at least stop tightening her hold.

"No," I said once more. "It is not his fault," I repeated once more. "That's..." I slurred, my eyes blinking as I yawned, the herbs perhaps mixed with some form of sleeping agent in it. "Not...fault..."

I closed my eyes, and when I next opened them, a few hours had gone by judging by how the sun was falling over the horizon. Isabella hadn't moved from her armchair, and since she couldn't move, she had brought the royal-approved ensemble of much needed commodities to her. The head healer wasn't even blinking at the stuff, but deftly walked over the soft carpet that now adorned the lower part of my bed-did they lift my bed with me atop it just to place the carpet? Her attendants looked at me with a look that said that indeed, they had done just that at her orders. Just because this was my favorite carpet didn't mean you had to bring it to me even under such conditions-

Isabella! Seriously!

My hands were clasped together, the signs of my wife's nails on the back of my right one a telltale indicator that they had needed to pry her off through force, even though she was now reading quietly on the armchair itself one of my books. Near her, a small table had a thick pile of letters that had the appearance of having been written a short while ago.

"How long was I asleep?" I muttered, only for Isabella to sharply close her book and sigh in relief.

"Oh, my Henry! I am so glad you woke up!" Isabella gushed out, standing up from the armchair to grasp my cheeks with her hands and plant a deep enough kiss that I began to wonder what oxygen was by the time she let go. "They brought in a commoner claiming father sent her to be checked-I am sure she has something to do with this-" she narrowed her eyes. "Father said he leaves things in your capable hands for the time being since he's busy, but he didn't tell me what these things were!" she took a deep breath, "Also, I've taken the liberty of writing to your family and friends about your most horrible injury! Had you not woken up, I would have sent them-" she swallowed, "but I am glad it did not come to that..." there were tears in her eyes.

"It was just a flesh wound," I said offhandedly, "I got by with worse," I added with a smile. "Didn't even feel it with all the alcohol in my body-funny story, but...the commoner in question, did she wake up?"

I winced as I stood to sit. "It's important to keep an eye on her-really important."

"Why?" Isabella asked, "Between a husband and a wife, there should be no secrets."

"Ah?" I said, and then exhaled. "Is that so?" I mumbled. "But if Joseph didn't wish to tell you-then...I cannot," I swallowed, "Or rather, I should not," I smiled. "I'll tell you later."

Isabella beamed me a smile, and then proceeded to hug me tightly, planting another kiss on my lips at the same time. "Your highness!" the head healer exclaimed in shock, "Please! Your husband mustn't be moved so sharply!"

For once, Isabella looked mortified, and took a step back. Was she worrying as if I'd just fall over and die because she had done one tiny wrong thing? It was adorable, all things said.

"I'll take care of disposing of these," she said, grabbing the letters and blowing me one last kiss, "See you later, my Henry." And with that, she walked away, her attendants following her. The moment she was gone, I looked at the head healer.

"I can walk, can I?" I asked, receiving a nod.

"I would have sent your grace on his way hours ago, but her highness insisted," the man replied.

"Concerning the girl that was brought in, how is she doing?" I asked, and to that the healer simply pointed to a far away bed, where said girl was sleeping.

There was a clear look of disgust on the man's face. "If his royal highness wishes to enjoy a mistress, he shouldn't have to pick one of such low birth." He shook his head, "Who knows what kind of sicknesses she has?" and with that, he stood up and walked back into his office.

I walked my way by the side of the girl's bed. My eyes narrowed as I tried to take in her form. Her hair was hazel, which...didn't help, not one bit. If it had been some preposterous-looking color, I might have thought her a character of a later season of the Anime or Novel I had never met, but with her hair being hazel...could she be a random Gallian? or Germanian? She could be anyone or anything, really, perhaps even a Vampire?

Her face wasn't going to win her any beauty contests, not with how her makeup had been removed -she had been dressed for a party, perhaps? With how her dress was short and scandalous...then again, considering hotpants-Karin...fashion around Gallia could be strange.

"You can stop faking," I said nonchalantly as I took a seat by her side. "I know you are awake."

The girl's breathing hitched momentarily, and then she resumed breathing, if with a more mechanic-like feeling to it.

"I would suggest you open your eyes and talk to me," I said next, "Because you have been given in my care for the time being-and I would rather know who I am supposed to take care of."

She kept feigning sleep.

"You do not wish to go home, then?" and to that, the reaction was instantaneous. She opened her eyes and looked straight at me.

"Have...Have I been kidnapped?" she asked, and I shook my head. I smiled at her.

"You...have been summoned as the familiar of his royal highness, King Joseph de Gallia. I am the Duke Henry Philippe De Brittany-"

"Eh?" she said, blinking and standing to sit up straightforwardly, "Is this a prank? No, listen here-I don't do candid cameras, they're annoying-" I blinked. I stared. I had, admittedly, not taken a good look at her clothes because they were scandalous to say the least, but she had been wearing what looked like a cross-shaped piece of white cloth that covered her breasts, and a really short skirt leaving her belly-button in plain sight. The earrings around her earlobes were big enough to fit a fist through it, and as her words filtered in, it clicked to me just where she had come from.

"This is not a prank," I said nervously, "Whatever this candid camera is that you speak of...it is not a matter of doing it or not. You have most certainly seen a green portal, have you not?"

"Oh, that thing!" the girl said enthusiastically, "I did!" she grinned brightly. "I thought it was a cool disco effect-"

Disco effect? A party girl? Oh Joseph...why? Why couldn't you pick Yandere-Myoz? This one-

"I have yet to hear your name, miss," I said gently.

"Uh? Why do you wanna know that, ya creep?" she said that sharply, making me wince at the tone used. "I'm not putting my name on record." She stood up, and made to leave. I, on the other hand, began to follow her.

As we stepped out of the room, she looked around as if lost. "What is this place?" she muttered, "For a candid camera, this is kind of an overkill isn't it?"

"What is this candid camera you speak of?" I replied, feigning the most ignorance possible. "I suggest you wait for a tailor to come by so that he may make you a dress that won't show so much indecency around the royal palace," I continued nonchalantly.

"Indecency?" the girl said with a huff, gesturing up and down at her cloths. "This is my outfit for the biggest new year's party of all times! The top of the top of the top! Invites only! They gave me one good look and let me right in. I skipped the queue in this thing!"

I had no doubts about that.

"You don't even know what I'm talking about, right?" she snorted, dissing me. She was dissing me. Me. The Duke de Brittany. Calm down, Henry.

"I do not even know your name, or where you come from," I pointed out. "Knowing where you live might enable me to contact your family, miss. I am sure they will be thrilled to know their daughter is safe and sound."

"Bah," she grumbled. "I'm Anne. Anne Mallard," she huffed, and then I watched calmly as worry finally began to creep into her as we went from hallway to hallway, from room to room, and all the while she saw servants, armored knights, and much more that simply didn't make sense for her.

I waited, patiently, as we came to a halt in the royal gardens as night was just about to fall. Yet, from the gardens one could see the whole of Lutece, all of its houses and way further the palace of Petite Troyes, and many more villas and noble houses. It was completely different from a city of modern times, without skyscrapers or big tall buildings.

"This..." she mumbled. "This isn't Paris."

"This is the Kingdom of Gallia, miss Mallard," I said politely, as gently as I could, "This is the Palais de Grand Troyes, the living home of the King of Gallia, Joseph de Gallia. This is Lutece, the capital of Gallia," I sighed. "Your Paris that you name...where is it in Halkeginia?"

"Hal...Halkeginia?" Anne turned to look at me, her eyes wide and her expression that of a lost child.

For all that one can be a teenager, when reality hits you hard there are still traits of the child you once were that resurface, and one of it is when fear strikes you.

Just be glad, Anne Mallard.

Just be glad it's me giving you the tutorial explanation and not a tsundere Louise from canon-verse.

I am a far more merciful person.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter One Hundred and One

Anne Mallard was not Hiraga Saito. This became painfully clear not just by her sudden outbursts as the twin moons made themselves known in the sky, but also by how she outright throttled my robes in a state of disarray while screaming like an overexcited three year old on sugar rush. Well, I reckon that more than the sharp ear-deafening screams that she was emitting, the fact that she was pointing at the two moons in the sky were and flailing around wildly was to be expected.

"Two moons! Two moons! Twomoonsohshit!" she yelled, squawking about. "There's two fucking moons in the sky!" she grabbed hold of the scruff of my neckline and pulled back and forth to little avail, but still- "You're aliens! Aliens! Like humans? You're not putting any thing up my ass!"

I blinked, and then I recoiled in disgust, "Miss!" I snapped angrily, "Nobody would do something so obscene and disgusting around these parts!" I exhaled, "Would you please calm down? You are making a scene." And point of order, there were some of the gardeners and servants standing about that were looking on with surprise on their faces, and dread. They were probably thinking I was just about to discipline the impudent wench with magic, or something of the sorts.

"Calm down? Calm down?! You didn't just kidnap me! You abducted me to another world! Shit! Shit! Shiiiit!" she brought both hands to her hair, "What am I supposed to do now!? How do I get home now!? Where's the space ufo, you bastard?!"

"Ufo?" I blinked, raising an eyebrow. "You have been summoned here by his royal highness, King Joseph-"

"Then he can send me back! No, he should send me back!" Anne snarled, "Bring him to that jerk! He stole my first kiss, it's only fair he pays it back tenfold!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "His Royal Highness is busy with the affairs of the state-"

"He had time to put his grubby old hands on me, so he better find the time!" Anne literally roared, "Or I'm going to go around yelling how much of a frigging pervert he is! Hey you-" she turned to one of the commoners, and in a second my swordwand was out as a gust of flames burst a few inches away from her face, making her recoil and scream as she fell down on the ground, her eyes wide as I pointed my swordwand in her direction, the tip gleaming under the moonlight.

"You will refer to His Royal Highness with respect," I hissed, my eyes narrow, "Or his familiar or not, you will be severely punished."

"That-That-" she stared at the tip of my swordwand. "That fire-"

"That was magic," I replied dryly. "A simple dot spell, but rest assured-"

"M-Magic?" Anne mumbled, "That-you can do magic!?"

"It is the birthright of Nobility, bestowed upon the faithful of Brimir and their descendants," I answered as I sheathed my swordwand, and then extended her a hand. "Now, by all means stand up and-"

She didn't take my hand. Instead, she went for the hilt of my swordwand and hastily unsheathed it, pointing it at me the next second.

I stared in befuddlement as nearby, most of the commoners gasped. Taking the wand from a noble was an offense worthy of death, not simply a punishment. I stared at her even as she pointed the swordwand in my direction.

"You! Magical alien!" seriously? "Take me to your ruler!" she snapped angrily, "I want him to send me back home! Right now! Right this instant!"

"No," I said offhandedly, as from behind her something like five knights in armor had already proceeded to soar towards her at blinding speed. In the blink of an eye, she was pinned on the ground by four knights of the Western Parterre, while the fifth knelt in front of me to give me back my swordwand.

"Gah! Bastards! F-Fuckers! I want to go home! I want to go home! You! You bastards!" her incoherent screaming didn't cease for a few minutes, even as I nodded to the knight in front of me slightly as a show of thanks for having recovered my swordwand.

"You may release her," I said with a dreadful sigh. "She is a guest of his royal highness...if an uncouth, uncivilized barbarian at that."

The knights exchanged a glance, and then calmly let her go. Anne, rather than take it and learn humbleness, decided to punch the royal jewels of a nearby knight as she stood back up, eliciting only a yelp from her own knuckles.

"The knights of the Western Parterre are specialized in Earth magic," I remarked dryly, and suddenly quite amused rather than simply pissed off. "I am given to believe that the first spell they learn is hardening, and they use it to great effect to protect their...most precious parts."

A chorus of chuckles followed from the nearby knights, even as Anne clutched the wrist of her hurt hand and sourly looked at me.

"Now it is getting chilly out here," I pointed out, "And your clothes are...pretty much just two bits of cloth tied together with string. I'll have the royal tailor make you something more decorous and then, perhaps after dinner, you will be in a better state of mind to acknowledge your place."

"Acknowledge my place?" Anne mumbled, "Go fuck yourself on a stick."

"Such insolence! You are speaking to the prince-consort you wench!" one of the knights roared, taking a step forward.

"Halt," I said hastily, seconds before one of the knights managed to complete his backhand-attack on the girl herself. He stopped, even as Anne winced and recoiled from the blow that never came. "It is fine," I acknowledged. "She simply does not know our customs I'm afraid...and she is afraid too," I added offhandedly, shaking my head. "Warm food in one's stomach will do wonders to her character, I'm sure. Come on now," I said, gesturing at her with a hand extended, "Let us get back inside. I'll have the servants prepare you dinner."

As I said that and began to walk back towards the entrance of the palace, Anne followed, if with an angry scowl o her face.

"Is there any kind of food you prefer?" I asked turning my head to look at you.

"Can I even eat your magical alien shitty food?" she drawled.

"I suppose roast will be fine," I said. "Perhaps duck? Duck is-"

"Ah. Ah. Ah! We've got a comedian over here," she hissed. "Listen, pissypants-I've been called duck in all ways since I was ten. Go fuck yourself, your sense of humor, and whoever thought you were funny. You got that? Want me to write it down?

I hummed. "You truly are lucky," I remarked gently. "You would be a mass of welts, black and blue skin on the floor if it were anybody else. You should really be thankful I am renowned for my kindness," I acquiesced.

"If I really were lucky, I'd be dancing to a hard beat with a hard man behind and in front of me," Anne growled, and I widened my eyes. "Instead I'm stuck in this magical alien place of dimwits and shitty people."

"Scandalous," I said in the end. "Utterly scandalous. Is that how you normally talk? May the gods have mercy on your etiquette teacher."

In the end, I had to apologize to Isabella through servant, because I would not be able to attend dinner with her.

Ensuring this...this girl didn't get herself killed by insulting someone of important inside the palace took precedence, and I dreaded to think what she'd do if left to her own devises.

Joseph...why couldn't you summon...I don't know...someone with better manners?

Anyone but a teenager, Joseph.

Was it that difficult not to screw up this badly?

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter One Hundred and Two

Anne did not calm down, but at the very least she stopped screaming. The roasted duck was a delicacy of Gallia's royal chef, and as it was served in front of her by servants, she absentmindedly thanked them for the service, much to their surprise.

"Now the right fork-" she tore into the duck with her hands, making me groan and wince. "The fork. The knife. We are not animals-"

"It's delicious!" she hummed in pleasure, taking large bites and letting all of the tender meat juice drip down her plate. "Is this wine?" she asked next, staring at the pitcher in front of her. As a servant moved to grab it and pour her some, she outright beat her to it and filled her own goblet, spilling some on the tablecloth. The silk tablecloth that would thus need to be washed later. "It is! What is it?" she took a sip, and then coughed. "The hell-"

I swear, the idea of leaving her into the hands of an etiquette teacher was growing a thousand times stronger. Unfortunately, the etiquette teacher would be bringing out the stick, or the wand, and it was better not to.

I ate in quiet silence, and once I was done and Anne looked satisfied, I stood up. "I will show you to your rooms," I said. "They are reasonably close to my own," I added. "Be on your best behavior while not in my presence-perhaps after a good night of rest you might be more amenable to properly listen to what I have to say."

"Whatever," Anne snorted as she followed me through the hallways, a servant guiding us both to the guest rooms chosen for her. Outside her doors, and outside her windows, there were more than enough guards just so casually stationed that it wasn't funny. "Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this will just be one of those LSD dreams."

I said nothing, even as I showed her into her rooms. She whistled in surprise, the servants assigned to her room inwardly making prayers to the Founder for her lack of class. As she took the sights in, I gestured for one of the commoners by the door, who drew near and bowed, waiting for instructions.

"Once she's changed, take her...clothes and have them burned. Tomorrow morning, have the tailor give her new ones," I said flatly.

"It will be as you say, your grace," the commoner said, dutifully bowing and stepping back to the side of the room. I left her there, the doors closing behind me as I gazed at the knights of the Rose Parterre assigned out of the door.

"She is not to be harmed," I said. "If she escapes, paralyze her and bring her back into her rooms. Tell the same to the guards outside," I sighed. "Now, it has been a long and trying day. Good luck, knights of the Rose Parterre."

"Your grace!" they replied in unison, bowing as I left them there.

The problem of sharing the room with Isabella was that I couldn't order the servants to just let me change in peace, but had to let them do it. I unceremoniously dropped face first on the bed after they were done and dismissed, much to Isabella's consternation. "Henry? Do you need to visit the head healer once more?" I could feel her fingers move to the back of my head, where I had been hurt, perhaps seeking signs of the scar. "Ah, it left no scars. Good, good. We would have beheaded that foolish healer otherwise."

"Beheading a head healer because of scars is excessive, Isabella," I grumbled under my breath.

"Nonsense, anyone that is a head healer but cannot heal without scarring is at most worthy of being compost," Isabella retorted with a huff. "Now, will you tell me what it was all about with that commoner girl? I have heard the wildest tales-she is not an assassin who got the better of you, was she?" as she asked that, I felt her fingers tap on the back of my neck, "Because that is the one rumor we might be willing to accept as plausible, unless father decided to return to his foolish ways-or even worse, judging by how such a commoner and crude girl can only belong to the worst brothels in all of existence-"

"No," I grumbled. "Joseph tried summoning," I muttered. "And he summoned this strange girl. I got hurt by the blast of his spell-and that's it."

"Oh? Is that so?" I could feel Isabella's lips purse in displeasure. "Then the fact that she has strange runes on her forehead, that is meaningless?"

"What can I say?" I replied with a sigh. "The runes are those of the...Myozuno...Myozano...Myoz-something-"

"The myozunitonirun?" Isabella said, her breathing stopping for a second. "The holy familiar Miodtnir? The mind of God said to be-that's-my father-" she blinked and then forcefully made me turn, since I either did that, or she'd snap my head trying to look me in the eyes. "Henry! It's quite rude to play a prank on your cute wife," she pouted, her lips thinning and her eyes narrowing. "You do not have to go to such lengths to defend my father's poor moral fiber."

"I am not lying," I said tiredly. "Although she is...unruly, crass, violent-and tiresome to the extreme," I grumbled, closing my eyes and yawning. "She might get better after one good night of sleep-"

Isabella huffed, and then grabbed hold of my left arm, pulling it over her shoulders as she grabbed hold of my nightgown with her fingers -males, females, we all had nightgowns and we all enjoyed them very much, thank you for asking.

"You do remember that we're leaving for your sister's wedding in two weeks, do you?" as she asked that, I hummed half-asleep. There was nothing like a good night of sleep to recharge the batteries and think about what to do next with a clearer view.

"Good night, my Henry," I heard Isabella mumble.

"Night...Isa," I muttered too.

The next day, the high-pitched yells of an angry young girl could be heard all the way through the hallway, with various degrees of What the hell are these granny clothes!? You shitheads burned my party clothing! I want them back right now! Where's that Duke? Over there!? Blissful silence was interrupted when I heard the telltale sounds of someone being stopped at the door by the guards stationed outside.

Oi, let me in! The bastard who burned my clothes is in there- there was a thump. A gasp. And I exhaled as I stood up the servants in the room moving nimbly to dress me up.

"You are not allowed inside," the voice from beyond the door came muffled, but it was clear it belonged to one of the knights of the Parterre.

"You fucking hit me! You-" a second thump. A second gasp, and then silence. Well, not really silence. There were the choked sobs of a young girl who had never been hit, not even by her parents, receive two slaps in rapid succession and suddenly realize that no, her attitude wasn't going to fly.

The knight who lost his patience first was going to be punished, but Anne didn't need to know that.

Still, as I finished dressing up and made to leave, Isabella stood to sit up and yawned. "Henry...no good morning kiss?" she mumbled.

"There is too much noise outside this morning," I replied, pointing at the door from beyond which the sound of knights trying to pull someone up amidst various curses and exclamations could be heard. "I'll deal with it."

Isabella pouted. "Can't we just have that commoner beheaded already? Father can summon another familiar, one perhaps less crude."

I raised an eyebrow in her direction. Isabella huffed, and looked away, "Your bleeding soft heart is a beautiful feature of yours, Henry...but it makes things much more difficult than they have to be. Perhaps a good beating would work wonders? Just let the guards beat her up a bit-it grows character."

"No, no it doesn't," I replied offhandedly. "It's a crude and evil way to get someone to listen to you, and it doesn't work. In the end, you merely teach the child that power is to be feared, not respected-" there was the sound of scraping on the floor. Were they dragging her away? Oh, come on!

I opened the doors and closed them sharply behind me, my eyes set on the now paralyzed figures of two knights, one fourteen years old girl clawing at the carpet, and a clanking suit of ceremonial armor that had fallen down due to Anne grabbing the carpet in question and pulling it along her.

"I am wondering," I said dryly, "Why two grown-up men cannot hold a single young girl into her rooms."

"Your grace-" one of the two said, "We're sorry for this-she rushed off before we could stop her-"

I glanced down at the tear-stricken teenager. She was wearing a simple enough dress of soft pink hue -the royal tailor had probably decided to just throw together some curtains and stitch them up.

"I thought I said she was not to be harmed?" as I said that, there was a slight tensing on the part of both guards even as I knelt in front of the girl, who had stopped trying to claw for her life against the carpet and was now staring at me. She had two angry red welts on the sides of her cheeks, the product of slaps, with all probability. "Here, a handkerchief-" as I pulled it out to hand it over, she simply gave it one quick look, and then hesitantly took it as the two knights let go of her, nervously waiting for their verdicts.

"Return to your posts," I said to the two as Anne proceeded to wipe away her tears and then blow her nose into it -why wasn't I surprised she'd do something like that? "I'll take care of her for the time being."

The two guards hesitated only briefly, but realizing that their asses were in hot water to begin with, they obeyed.

I turned to look at the teenager, still on the floor.

This time, when I offered her my hand, she clasped it.

This was progress, at least.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter One Hundred and Three

I was drinking coffee. Anne was having milk with biscuits. At the very least, even as she plunged the biscuits into the milk, she was far more tolerable than using her hands to eat duck. She sported, now that I had the time and the attention to look better at her, a few bracelets of the so called cute and classy genre typical of teenagers. Stuff like tiny bronze hearts on tiny chains, small teddy bears stylized on plastic bands, that sort of stuff that adorned the wrists and arms of teenagers throughout the decades.

"Miss Mallard," I said calmly. "Would you like some jam on those biscuits?"

"Uh?" as she said that, a servant neared and began to gently cover one side of a biscuit with apricot jam, before putting it upon a delicate white platter and serving it right next to her cup. "Seriously? All of that work for just one biscuit?" she mumbled, the servant wincing and bowing before he began to do another right away. "No, no, that's not what I meant-it's fine-" she said, much to the servant's consternation who bowed once more, ashamed at having misunderstood the girl's orders.

"You may go," I said calmly, and the servant dutifully obeyed.

"You could have said thank you," Anne said, staring at me.

"Me? Thank a commoner?" I replied with a sigh, "I am a noble-the only commoners I will ever thank are those that belong to my army, should they ever save my life. That is the type of commoner I will thank. Why should I thank someone for doing their job? Do you thank the horses because they work the fields? The birds because they make good roasts?"

I didn't like playing the part of the nobility entitled nobleman, but at the royal palace, surrounded by servants, there was little choice.

"Jerk," Anne mumbled.

"Now, if you'll be willing to listen, I will explain," I said, ignoring her mumbled words. I gave her the rundown of what a familiar was, of what it meant to be a noble, and some really quick etiquette lessons on the most important and common things not to miss, or make a mistake of. Even then, she had begun playing with her empty cup and the spoon quite ludicrously, humming every now and then at my words, feigning attention.

"So I just have to go 'Grace, grace, grace...' and highness, right?" she grumbled.

"If it's the king, it's Royal Highness, if it's the princess, it's Royal highness or highness depending on your degree of amiability wit her, everyone else is a grace to you, even the knights," I pointed out. "While there is a modicum of acceptance if you are a child, your age marks you as an adult already, so mistakes will not be tolerated."

"An adult?" she grumbled. "Fuck yeah," she smiled. "Does that mean I don't have to lie about my age any longer to drink alcohol?"

"Your...age," I said with a sigh, "Is not something I care about. A proper lady never drinks more than one cup of wine throughout the whole night, and even then, not in one go-"

"Bah, stupid rules," Anne said with a huff. "Hey! By the way, I haven't seen old pedophile guy yet-" I choked back any barbed retorts. "If he's the one who got me here, he can send me back, can't he?"

"No," I replied. "The summoning ceremony works only in one direction. Also, the runes on your forehead-"

"The runes on my what?" I winced as soon as I heard her question, and I proceeded to cover my ears as she began to scream once a servant brought her a mirror to look at her reflection in it. I was pretty sure that the guest room she had been staying in had a mirror, but she must have ignored it in favor of coming to sass my ass early in the morning.

What followed next was another verbal string of curses about being branded like some sort of cow, not signing up for this, calling the child services, the police, the-and then she stopped after a few minutes, gasping for air as she clutched the mirror with her right hand.

"There's...There's no one I can call for this, is there?" she mumbled.

"That depends...if you told me in what country this Paris is-Romalia? Germania? Rub'Al Khali?" as I asked that, she shook her head.

"My...My world has only one moon," she mumbled. "Last night-I saw there were two..."

"I see. Well, I would not be cooperating either if I were in your shoes," I acquiesced. "However, the official version will be that you come from the far east, from the lands of Rub'Al Khali-it should work in pacifying most of the court considering your state of undress on the first day-"

"This court thing already sucks," she mumbled. "Do I have to?"

"What would you rather do?" I replied. "A familiar is an extension of the mage that summoned them-"

"So what? I can't do my own stuff?" she huffed, angrily looking at me. "I'll let you know, the place I come from-this sort of thing is a crime! Kidnapping someone, branding them like this-we don't do this even to our worst criminals!"

I sighed, "And?" I replied, gesturing at the wide gardens in front of us. "Be free then," I said. "Off you go. Go right through those gates, leave and...then what? You see, one thing you are not understanding is that...the spell picks the familiar best suited for their master. Tell me this, at least honestly...do you actually want to go back? Do you have things you truly need back home waiting for you?" I eyed her quite calmly, and she flinched. "You are a lost child, scared, and worrying about what will happen to you. This is not a gilded cage. You are free to take those gates," I pointed at them once more, "And leave, make a life for yourself. You are free to make that choice, and face the consequences of it."

I pushed my back against that of the chair, clasping my fingers together. "I'll even be kind and give you a few thousand ecus, so that you may rebuild yourself a life here-but then...what will you do?"

She didn't answer, she simply looked at the mirror. "I didn't want this."

"But you wanted something, didn't you?" I replied smoothly. "You wanted something that the King of a whole country could give you. You wanted something that made you different, special perhaps. Is that not the truth?"

"I-I don't know," she said. "I-I guess...but...this sort of thing-"

"The summoning spell does not lie. So, why are you not a bit more honest with yourself? Perhaps you sought to be the best among your peers? Perhaps you sought to be more powerful than them? Perhaps you sough great luxury, a lifestyle of delicious foods and little to no work? Whatever it is that you wished for, you would not be here otherwise. Of course, the portal opened up in front of you...but even so, even if you touched it by mistake, even if you came through it by mistake...you still did. You are the most suited familiar for the King of Gallia, and in turn, he is your most suited master. That will not change, no matter how much you cry about it or scream that you didn't want it-you are twin souls that are destined to at the very least share a lot of common ground," I hummed as I raised a hand, snapping my fingers.

From behind me, Raven came swooping down quietly, a mass of feathers black and white and beady bird eyes. He cawed happily, "Hello!" he cawed, "My name is Raven, and I am master's familiar," he brought his head down, and I gently rubbed the back of it.

"Although I mention Master and Familiar-this isn't the truth. Is the brain the master of a hand? Is the heart the master of the blood? A bond is shared between a master and a familiar-" I said gently, "That is why-it is not slavery, no matter how bizarre it might look to your eyes."

"T-That's...a giant...crow..." Anne mumbled, her eyes wide as she began to hyperventilate. "He talks and-and he's going-he's going to eat me isn't he!?"

"No," I said with a grin as I grabbed the remaining biscuits on the table and placed them under Raven's beak. He began to pick them up and guzzle them down, humming happily all the same. "He's my fluffy, wuffy, feathery, kind, beautiful and marvelous familiar. He's Raven."

"I love my master!" Raven squawked, rubbing the side of his head against the right side of my body, before dropping his head on my lap and plopping down by the side of my chair.

"I love you too," I said with a giggle as I plopped my own head over the back of Raven's, turning my eyes to look at Anne. "See? It's not that-"

She was unashamedly terrified. I blinked. What was there to be-

"I-I'm supposed to do stuff like that?" she shrieked, "That's-I'm not a whore!"

"What? No-you got the wrong idea of-"

"What is the reason of this unholy screaming?" Isabella's sudden voice cut into the garden air with the crisp snapping of a whip. The next second, I felt dread. With her scepter in hand, Isabella's eyes narrowed on the figure of Anne, "Uhm..." she turned thoughtful. Behind her, the full contingent of her attendants were in wait, dreadfully standing quiet and still, knowing fully well that a pissed off Isabella was a terror to behold by anyone -myself included.

"Dear," I said hastily, standing right up, "I was just fixing a misunderstanding, nothing to worry about. Were you planning on having breakfast in the gardens too?"

"I," Isabella said with her tongue clicking against her teeth, "Was planning on having breakfast with my husband," she continued quite calmly, but I could feel the venom in her words. This was full Marie Antoinette about to land a beheading sentence to someone else. This was Isabella throwing shit at Charlotte's form-mode, but against another target. "But since that is not possible, I wished to see the reason why. To think that such a disgraceful commoner is even allowed to eat at the same table as my husband-such squawking is befitting of monkeys."

She turned her attention from me to her, and blinked. "You aren't standing up in the presence of the Crown-Princess? Do you have a death wish, commoner?"

"Isabella-she's from Rub'Al Khali-she doesn't know our customs," I said quickly. "Do find it in your magnanimous heart to forgive her. She is your father's familiar after all-" Isabella, in reply, huffed. Still, she looked at Anne, as if waiting for her to do something.

I turned a pleading gaze at her with a sort of unspoken, oh will you please stand up already!

To which Anne did, thankfully, obey.

"I'm sorry," she said, much to my immediate relief. So she had self-preservation instincts at the very least. "Your...highness?" I nodded, and she huffed in relief.

"Very well," Isabella muttered, glaring at her. "Just be thankful my husband is taking time out of his very busy schedule to teach you. If you were anyone else-ah, enough! Henry," she grabbed my wrist and as I turned towards her, she quickly pulled a fast kiss on my lips. "I always get what I want, you'd better remember that," she said in the end, if towards me or towards Anne, I had no idea. "Also, Henry's my husband. My father's familiar or not, you put your moves on him and I will ensure it is the last thing you ever do."

Then, with a huff, she walked away with her attendants in tow.

"That was my wife," I said calmly. "The crown princess of Gallia."

"You keep your hands away from me, you sick pedophile," were the first words that Anne said right to my face as I turned towards her.

Somehow, just somehow, hearing those words made me happy inside.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter One Hundred and Four

When Isabella sulked, there was nothing that would make her happy. No, that was a lie. When she sulked, I could probably make it bearable, or make her happy somehow. This, however, involved my active participation and thus would take time away from my task of ensuring Anne wouldn't end up dead, or maimed, when she made some faux-pas of sorts. We were making progress, and this was going on even without remarking on what her true powers were.

Before giving a child a loaded gun, at the very least one should make sure said child doesn't have the intention of burning down the world. If said loaded gun was pretty much akin to anything ranging from Golem-Summoning magic ring all the way to the ancient art of crafting stone golem capable of holding Counter within their frames-well, even then it was best to keep the child in check.

"What's your relationship with the king anyway? Apart from being in cahoots with him on kidnapping minors, that is," Anne asked one day as I was busy writing down letters, and she was trying her hardest to balance a book over her head. The book had already fallen a hundred times, and would fall a hundred times more before I got to the end of the first sentence of the letter -and considering how fast I wrote, indeed, she was that unbalanced.

"We are friends," I said plainly. "Have you ever taken dance lessons?"

"I know how to dance to the beat!" Anne replied, letting the book fall from her head as she began to wave her arms and legs around like a sort of seizure-prone child. Was this...was this modern dancing? Oh, may the gods have mercy upon my soul, she didn't know how to dance, did she? I reckoned they just let her inside the discotheques so that she'd be eye-candy material by the bar, but even so..."I've got soft skin, in my bath of mousse-" as she hummed along to what could only be described as...a techno-remix of sorts of it, I began to plead for a lightning bolt to strike her down.

"I see..." I said quite calmly, "If that is dancing, then please stop. You are blinding me with how sickening it is."

She did stop, if only to give me a sour look. "It's too modern for you then," she said, pushing her hair behind her shoulder with a flippant attitude. "From where I come from, this is the coolest stuff ever." I gave her half a nod, and finished the letter in question. "Who are you writing to?" she asked next.

"My family," I answered, "More aptly put my mother."

"In my world, we use phones to keep in contact," Anne said. "You flip it open, and then you call whoever you want-" she actually winced, "I left it at home before going out with my friends."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow, "I see, I see."

She huffed, "You can be such a patronizing ass-you don't believe a word I'm saying, do you?"

"And you are reckless, Miss Mallard," I pointed out. "Control your tongue next week, or you'll regret it. Though Joseph might have thought about what to do concerning you-" I sighed. "Most certainly the life of court wouldn't suit you."

"You won't be here next week?" Anne asked, her tone curious.

"I have my sister's wedding to attend," I replied.

She grew quiet for a bit, before breaching the argument, "How old is she?"

"My age, we are twins," I said. "Why?"

"I was wondering if it was normal for old guys to marry young girls around these parts," she asked dryly. "Is this like, in the middle ages, with arranged marriages?"

"The middle ages?" I blinked, inclining my head to the side. "My sister is marrying out of what I hope is love for her fiancé and viceversa. The Viscount Jean-Jacques Wardes is a good man, and a dear friend." And if he hadn't let go of his Reconquista vibes, then perhaps a strongly worded letter would make him reconsider, though I sincerely hoped it wouldn't be needed.

"You too?" Anne asked, "You married the blue smurf out of love?"

"Our marriage was political, in part," I acquiesced. "But we have come to love one another, and that is all that matters," I smiled.

"Bah, where I come from, this sort of thing is done only in backwater countries. One should marry out of love always, not because you have to-" Anne grumbled, recovering the book near her feet. "So, you're this Duke of Brittany, but I haven't seen you do anything Dukish enough-why?"

"I am the Prince-Consort," I replied. "My duties as that are more important than my duties as Duke. Taking care of my army-"

"Why?" Anne asked, suddenly interrupting me. I narrowed my eyes. What did I say about interrupting people? "Why do you have an army anyway? Can't you just use magic to conquer?"

"Because conquering is easy, trifling even. Holding the land is not. Pacifying rebellions is not. A hundred eyes see better than a dozen, who see better than a simple pair. Also, mages need time to chant, they are vulnerable until they finish chanting," I remarked.

"Then wouldn't a gun make it easy to kill you?" Anne asked once more, my eyes blinking at the sudden line of inquiry.

"There is a way of hardening clothes through alchemy which, in turn, makes them as hard as a block of granite while keeping them easy to move in. Bullets would simply bounce off them," I acquiesced. "Nobles are usually expected to surrender in good order and swear an oath not to further the cause of their country while imprisoned, and once the war ends they are returned to their countries unless they have been ransomed before."

"That's stupid," Anne grumbled. "In a war, shouldn't you just kill the other faster than they get to kill you?"

"Oh? So you'd rule on charred land and corpses then?" I remarked, propping my chin on my open palm as I glanced at her. "Killing everyone, hurting everyone-it's not always the most apt solution."

She didn't answer, instead taking three quick steps with the book firmly planted on her head. She cheered then, letting it fall in her hands. "I did three steps!" she said.

"You have...a whole thousand or more steps to go," I remarked, "But you did well," I said with a knowing nod.

Anne snorted, "What am I, a dog? I don't want your praise, I just don't want to end up being hit again," she looked down at the book in her hands. "I can't even understand what's written here-"

"You can't read?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"If I could, I wouldn't be saying that I can't understand!" Anne shot back hotly, and to that I sighed and ordered a bit more my work desk, gesturing for a servant to bring forth a chair by my side. Anne sat down at another one of my gestures, and as I opened the nearest book I had that was also the easiest, I pointed my finger at the first runes written upon them.

"This is the tale of Ivaldi and the Dragon," I began. "Let us get started with understanding the Runic equivalent of the pronounced A letter-"

I once used to teach English to university students, didn't I?

It was just as fun as I remembered it to be.

Ah...correct, correct...nostalgia, why do you hit me so?

 

[shadenight123]

Being a commoner is not so bad - Omake

Her name was Polandine, and she was a commoner. She had been born to commoner parents, and she would probably marry a commoner and be happy with him for the rest of her life. Yet, even then, she could not help but sigh dreamily as she read the pages of Heart-Felt Confessions of Love From A Noble to his Maid, the latest hit in the collection of Noble Secrets, written by that fabulously mysterious author that was the Shadow of the Night. He was Tristanian, some said. He was Gallian, others remarked. He had started from Germania, a few whispered. No, you are all wrong, he's from Albion, a friend of a friend would remark.

Still, she couldn't keep her head on the clouds forever. She had found work in the mansion of the Duke of Brittany, the foreign prince-consort of Princess Isabella. He was the one responsible for putting to a stop the troubles between the protestants and the holy church of Brimir in the area. Normally, if there were no nobles taking care of a villa it would be left in the cares of just the bare minimum personnel, but now with the prince-consort himself -such an important figure- coming over, there was a need for many more people.

She was so nervous when she began, but the head maid was an old woman who had served a count once, and she calmed her down considerably. Mostly, commoners were an invisible presence. As long as she did her task, the nobles wouldn't give her the time of the day.

"Welcome home, master!" the greetings from the whole servitude were chorused, the maids on the right, the butlers on the left. Polandine was nervous, but still she peeked a bit to see the face of her new master. His grace, Lord de Gallia -he was de la Valliere before the marriage, apparently- didn't look that much of a bad man. Well, it wasn't like it was written on his face if he was a bad man or not, but still-

The head maid and the head butler maid the presentations, so to speak. They didn't say the names, but simply the things that specific maid or butler would be in charge of, ranging from cleaning the cutlery, to washing the dishes, to the carpets, to the waking up-everything was laid bare, and in the end, the lord spoke a few words.

"Unless my wife is present, I'll take care of dressing and undressing by myself." That was like a thunderbolt in the clear sky. What did he mean? Didn't he trust us? Or didn't he want us to see what he hid beneath his clothes? Was he ashamed of some war wound? Was he sporting some visible scar? The grapevine was furious. Perhaps he hid some deformity beneath his clothes-but then, why not when his wife was present?

Still, this was just an eccentricity. It could be forgiven, or well, not really 'forgiven' since a noble could be forgiven everything, but just forgotten and aptly never mentioned to a living soul.

Polandine had been surprised when she had been told she'd be enjoying one Void day every two as vacation -she would have expected one every four, as was proper. She was also delighted at the increase in salary -with this, the Void day dress for mass that she wanted to buy would be a matter of weeks rather than months! She wasn't the only one, but even so-it was clear that the Duke of Brittany was a good man.

He also didn't enjoy most of the sports or activities of other nobles, like hunting, horse riding, hawking, hunting dogs, gambling or dancing. He was a reserved person, her Lord. He spent time checking on the accounting, writing letters and receiving them.

He did have a vice, and it was that strange beverage known as Coffee, but apart from that he was pretty much the definition of an easy noble to work under.

His familiar on the other hand...he was well behaved, of course, but whenever that giant crow -or was it a raven?- gazed at her, it gave her the creeps. Well, it gave the creeps to everyone. The only one who didn't realize it was their lord, who instead loved his familiar very much. The fact that it spoke and giggled every now and then made more than one servant worry, but it was when the day left the place to the night that his true deviousness showed itself.

"No porn for you," it would caw softly outside the window of a maid merely trying to read some good poetry. More than one maid had been scared out of her wits, but even the butlers weren't safe. "Nevermore~ Nevermore~ Quoth the Raven, Nevermore~"

Whatever the reason, nobody dared to bring it up with their lord. Even though his familiar was annoying, he usually didn't stay for long, flying away as soon as his master had an errand for him.

Polandine was happy, all in all.

And then she made a mistake. She made a grievous mistake. Admittedly, it was her fault. She was ordering the office of the Duke when she scattered a few parchments by mistake with the duster, and as she bent to recover them, she realized a couple had ended up behind the desk in question. Thus, doing her hardest, she managed to lift the desk slightly, recover the paper, and then slid the desk back in place.

In doing so, she made the ink pot fall over the center of the desk, and as her heart sank deep into her chest, she hurriedly tried her best to save the precious wood-whimpering to herself when she realized that it was no use.

She had just dirtied with ink a priceless piece of furniture.

Perhaps she could have saved the situation if she had reacted quickly enough. Maybe if she had some sawdust, something to dry the ink before it seeped in-and unfortunately for her, she made another mistake.

Polandine wasn't really great when under pressure.

She was just sixteen years old! It was her first time being a maid! Nobody had taught her what to do if she screwed up, because everything based itself on not screwing up!

It was like this that the Duke de Brittany found her. Clutching ink-stained papers, sobbing softly and not knowing what to do.

"Well, guess I'll have to rewrite everything," he said with a sigh as he looked at the disastrous situation of his work desk. The attendants that had been following him inside paralyzed in turn.

"I'm sorry!" Polandine bawled, bowing repeatedly as deeply as she could. "I didn't mean to!"

"Now, now," the Duke spoke with a sigh, "It's fine. Nobody was hurt. Send someone to fetch me another ink pot though," he added as if it were just an afterthought, "have the desk dried so I can get to writing on it again, and leave the papers somewhere I can find them -just to understand what I've got to write once more," he scratched the top of his head and shrugged. "Understood?"

"Y-Yes my lord!" she whimpered softly. Was he going to punish her later? Away from the others? Perhaps use her as bird feed for his familiar?

Even so, the head maid gave her a dressing down that she would not so easily forget.

No punishment came though throughout the whole day, or the days to come.

Thus she realized it.

Her Lord had a crush on her! Oh my! Such scandalous thing!

 

[Blaflaix]

"While there is a modicum of acceptance if you are a child, your age marks you as an adult already, so mistakes will not be tolerated."

"An adult?" she grumbled. "Fuck yeah," she smiled. "Does that mean I don't have to lie about my age any longer to drink alcohol?"

"Your...age," I said with a sigh, "Is not something I care about. A proper lady never drinks more than one cup of wine throughout the whole night, and even then, not in one go-"

Click to shrink...

Adulthood​

It had taken a while for Anne to truly understand what Henry had meant.
Originally she hadn't paid too much attention to him, and the way he ordered around the guards combined with his stuffy old-man clothing and formal speech had given the impression that he was old.

'Well, not old old, but like, late-twenties or something.'

It was only later that she looked closer and realized he was actually pretty young. College age maybe.
But on the other hand, he was giving orders! And people were obeying! At best he was supposed to be the Wet-Behind-The-Ears Newbie not the guy in charge!

'Well, not "in charge" in charge. It's pretty clear who wears the pants in that relationship.'

But then she had overheard him when he was "Duke-ing." He had been discussing taxes... and not paying taxes, deciding taxes.
Aside from the sheer surreal-ness of knowing somebody with that kind of power, it had really hit home that he was an adult, with all the power and responsibilities that entailed.

Anne was young. And as much as she wanted the respect of a grown-up, she was vaguely aware that none of her peers had to deal with the full consequences of their actions yet.
But now people considered her an adult. Even when they were sneering at her "commoner" status, absolutely none of them had treated her like a child. And they held her responsible for her actions, forcefully if necessary.

That was... heavy.

On the other hand, it looked like the double-standard was alive and well.

'I'll bet nobody ever told His Dukeiness he could only have one glass of wine a day...'

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter One Hundred and Five

Joseph looked at the girl, and the girl looked back at Joseph with a hint of a squirm in her features. The tension could be cut with a knife, so I uncorked a bottle of wine and took a deep swill of it. We were once more in the Drinking Room, as it was aptly called. The servants had been excused, and thus only the trio composed of myself, Joseph and Anne stood within the room. This time, rather than a pink curtain, the royal tailor had dressed Anne with a frilly dress meant to please the eyes of the king with a generous view of the girl's chest. Since it was generous by the standards of Halkeginia, it was nothing perverted, thankfully.

"So, Joseph, you get a bird too," I said as a way of breaking the ice. "Her name is Anne, Anne Mallard," I remarked. "She claims she's from a world with a single moon, where magic doesn't exist," I continued shrugging. "I got her to walk in a straight line without making a fool of herself, but that's pretty much it."

"Hey!" Anne shot out angrily, "That's not..." she mumbled, before shaking her head. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do."

"Well," Joseph said with a huff, "I wouldn't have thought it possible, but having sent men right and left for information, it appears Henry here is quite right in his assessment," he grumbled, "So, you are the mind of God, a familiar of the legendary Void element-my element," he hummed thoughtfully. "You don't look divine."

Anne blinked, "Uh? What? What are you saying?"

Joseph turned to look at me, and I shrugged. "Oi, if I had told her what she was and what she could do, I would have never managed to get through her head the most important lessons I could cram in such a space-also, she's your familiar. Get to know her, will ya?" I took another deep gulp of wine, sighing as the pleasant warmth spread throughout my chest. "My wife might just stab me otherwise."

"Isabella should get used to not getting the things she wants," Joseph remarked dryly as he uncorked a bottle of his own and began to drink. He then glanced at Anne, who was still standing, and gestured for her to take a chair. "Sit anywhere."

Anne did so, even as she looked from Joseph to me, and viceversa. She then extended a hand and grabbed a nearby bottle, pulling at the cork for a bit before huffing and placing it back in front of her with a sorrowful look. Joseph glanced at me, and I in turn glanced at him. He scowled, and I rolled my eyes, glancing once more at the bottle's cork.

He stopped scowling long enough to grab the bottle in front of his familiar and uncork it, before putting it back in front of Anne.

"Thank you," Anne said as she grabbed the bottle, and then took a tiny sip out of it.

"I can see the appeal," Joseph said after a few seconds, "it's like feeding a puppy, who then excitedly waggles his tail and barks happily," he hummed thoughtfully. "If you say she can walk a straight line without making a fool of herself, I might even believe you." He took a swing at his bottle. "Send my regards to your family," he added. "Are you planning on staying there for more than a couple of days?"

"Honestly, with how things are, it will be enough to stay for the day of the ceremony," I said with a sigh. "There's much to do, and little time to do it."

"Be glad you aren't ruling a whole country," Joseph grumbled in turn. "Then you'd discover just how little and precious time is-and I'm even leaving stuff to do to Isabella, ah-why can't they just govern themselves and give me their money? That would be-"

"Where I come from," Anne said suddenly, making me cringe as I realized what she was going to say, "We-We have a democracy in place. It's a Republic-the people vote for their...candidates, who then decide all together what laws to pass and what to do or not to do-"

"Uhm..." Joseph said, looking at her with interest, "And what about your king? What does he do?"

"We don't have a king...we toppled the monarchy," Anne said nervously. "But-there's a country that still has a monarchy! They're just-figureheads?"

"So they get the money, the prestige...and they do absolutely nothing?" Joseph asked, sounding now suddenly more interested than ever before. Anne nodded, and I dreaded her next words which came without a doubt.

"It's Great Britain-they have a constitutional monarchy in place, but...it's basically a democracy, the queen just wears silly hats and waves her hand-"

"I could wear a silly hat and wave my hand one day, and spend the rest of the year sleeping and whoring around?" Joseph asked with his eyes wide and sparkling, "Henry! I want to do that!"

I cringed. "That's not going to work, Joseph," I said. "What about the rest of the nobles? Do they get to wave their hands around and wear silly hats?" I looked at Anne, who shook her head.

"I dunno, but I think they aren't there? Like, there's just the monarchy or whatever-no other nobles," she said, nervously scratching the back of her neck. "I guess-I guess it wouldn't work?"

"Maybe I could put the nobles to work in my stead," Joseph said, "If I gather enough in one room, they might even get to-"

I shook my head. "Joseph," I said softly. "You may certainly do that, but...remember the church? They won't allow such a thing. Royalty is the direct descendant of Holy Brimir, if you do that, if you give power to unworthy ones-they won't accept it so easily, because it would lift doubts upon their own worth."

Joseph furrowed his brows, "Ah, the church," he grumbled. "That pesky thing-I see," he nodded. "No funny hats or waving hands for me then." He turned towards Anne, "Your country must have quite the peaceful church to allow non-nobles to lead the people-"

"There's freedom of religion," Anne mumbled, "I-I don't know how, but one day the church simply stopped being powerful, and they became...an extra in someone's life? I mean-my grandma was catholic-"

"Catholic?" Joseph inclined his head to the side. "What is that?"

"It's-well, the story goes that two thousands years ago, Jesus-" I cringed. I kept on cringing even as Anne explained how the son of God descended from the heavens and did all of that stuff that they usually teach children in middle school during the religious hour -except me and my classes, we got to play briscola, and I was the unquestionable champion of it throughout all of my middle and high school years.

"Ah! So it is similar to our Brimiric faith," Joseph remarked with a nod. "Brimir was the first mage to possess the legendary power of the Void, and he used it to fight the elves and save mankind from their genocide. However, he had to abandon the promised land, but one day-one day his descendants shall once more unite, and bring forth his holy power. On that day, they will defeat the elves and conquer the promised lands."

"Uh-uh," Anne said, "Yeah, well, we had crusades too-they didn't end well."

I simply watched, fascinated, as Anne and Joseph spoke to one another.

Perhaps things would go so badly between the two of them.

A man can dream, can he not?

 

[Rinn]

This really does read like someone else did an SI into Henry's Halkegania... Start with the "Pretty Teenaged Genki Party Gurl(TM)​" in a skimpy outfit (because it'll obviously be ok, she's, like, the Protag, nothing bad will come of it!)

Then she notices that it wasn't Lulu that kissed her ("My First(TM)​! How dare you!?" - The first of the many Stations of SI Stories), and Henry is there. Who the fuck is Henry? Why did I get summoned as Myoz, wasn't that supposed to be Sheffield!? Fuck, what do I do? Ah, just wing it, I'm the Protag! Nothing will go wrong!"

Cue the bratty behavior, modern tween entitlement, etc. She makes sure to run outside so that she can have a (fake) freakout at the sight of the twin moons (Station number Two - I can't tell you how often I've seen this in ZNT SI stories). Goes to bed, thinking, "Heh. Maybe this is better than getting summoned by Lulu! I know how the story goes! With my knowledge of Canon, I'll be ruling this joint by next week!"

Then she finds out that Henry's replaced her dress. How's she supposed to show these medieval rubes how to be sexy and trendy without her party clothes!? They burned them!? How dare they! Don't they know who she is!? She's the goddamn Protag! They can't do this shit to her! She'll just go give that asshole a piece of her mind, and he'll just stand there and take it, because she's the Protag, and that's how this works! (Station number Three - Seriously, how often does your typical SI go off on a long winded rant about something or other, and Lulu/Colbert/other nobles/Karin(!!!) just shuts up and listens? How realistic is it that a strange commoner who appeared out of an explosion is going to be allowed to barge in on their business and yell at a noble without consequences? Even Saito got blasted in the face the first few times...)

It's really only once the guards smack her that it starts to sink in that this isn't anime, and maybe she needs to rethink her strategy, and "HOLY FUCK! THAT SMARTS! OOOOOOOOOOW! THEY HIT ME! WHY DID THEY HIT ME!?" And then, Henry to the rescue. He spends the next few days teaching her enough basic comportment to not get herself whipped and/or beaten in punishment for her general behavior (looking at you, Saito!), then presents her to Joseph again. Immediately, she sees her chance! Obviously, Joseph is the other half of the Protag Duo; this Henry guy is just a side character that never made it to the LN! She can just use her Natural Charm and convince Joseph to do whatever she wants! Insert clumsy attempt to convert this Backwards Monarchy into the obviously superior Democratic Republic! Only a few impassioned speeches away from leading these squares into the future! Joseph will take care of the details, that's what his character is for! (Station number Four - Enlightening the morons who run things around here as to just how ignorant they are! Obviously the SI has a better understanding of Government and Religion than literally everyone in Halkegania. Just let it slip to the commoners and disillusioned nobles about how Democracy is better, and they'll fall over themselves to organize the revolts!)

Enter: Henry the Party-Pooper. Again. Suddenly, this SI thing is seeming like a lot more work than she was expecting! "Why aren't they falling all over themselves to do what I want them to!? And shouldn't there have been (at least) a few instances of Harem Hijinks to break up the monotony? Where's the rest of the quirky cast? Jeeze, this is a lot less fun than I thought it would be..."


I know that it's stretching the SOD that a random teen from Earth could pull that over on Henry, but it kinda fits? Maybe? Tell me what you guys think...

EDIT: Holy shit, this got made into an Omake... Hmmm. My First (Accidental) Omake can't be this Factual?