Chapter One Hundred and Four
When Isabella sulked, there was nothing that would make her happy. No, that was a lie. When she sulked, I could probably make it bearable, or make her happy somehow. This, however, involved my active participation and thus would take time away from my task of ensuring Anne wouldn't end up dead, or maimed, when she made some faux-pas of sorts. We were making progress, and this was going on even without remarking on what her true powers were.
Before giving a child a loaded gun, at the very least one should make sure said child doesn't have the intention of burning down the world. If said loaded gun was pretty much akin to anything ranging from Golem-Summoning magic ring all the way to the ancient art of crafting stone golem capable of holding Counter within their frames-well, even then it was best to keep the child in check.
"What's your relationship with the king anyway? Apart from being in cahoots with him on kidnapping minors, that is," Anne asked one day as I was busy writing down letters, and she was trying her hardest to balance a book over her head. The book had already fallen a hundred times, and would fall a hundred times more before I got to the end of the first sentence of the letter -and considering how fast I wrote, indeed, she was that unbalanced.
"We are friends," I said plainly. "Have you ever taken dance lessons?"
"I know how to dance to the beat!" Anne replied, letting the book fall from her head as she began to wave her arms and legs around like a sort of seizure-prone child. Was this...was this modern dancing? Oh, may the gods have mercy upon my soul, she didn't know how to dance, did she? I reckoned they just let her inside the discotheques so that she'd be eye-candy material by the bar, but even so..."I've got soft skin, in my bath of mousse-" as she hummed along to what could only be described as...a techno-remix of sorts of it, I began to plead for a lightning bolt to strike her down.
"I see..." I said quite calmly, "If that is dancing, then please stop. You are blinding me with how sickening it is."
She did stop, if only to give me a sour look. "It's too modern for you then," she said, pushing her hair behind her shoulder with a flippant attitude. "From where I come from, this is the coolest stuff ever." I gave her half a nod, and finished the letter in question. "Who are you writing to?" she asked next.
"My family," I answered, "More aptly put my mother."
"In my world, we use phones to keep in contact," Anne said. "You flip it open, and then you call whoever you want-" she actually winced, "I left it at home before going out with my friends."
"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow, "I see, I see."
She huffed, "You can be such a patronizing ass-you don't believe a word I'm saying, do you?"
"And you are reckless, Miss Mallard," I pointed out. "Control your tongue next week, or you'll regret it. Though Joseph might have thought about what to do concerning you-" I sighed. "Most certainly the life of court wouldn't suit you."
"You won't be here next week?" Anne asked, her tone curious.
"I have my sister's wedding to attend," I replied.
She grew quiet for a bit, before breaching the argument, "How old is she?"
"My age, we are twins," I said. "Why?"
"I was wondering if it was normal for old guys to marry young girls around these parts," she asked dryly. "Is this like, in the middle ages, with arranged marriages?"
"The middle ages?" I blinked, inclining my head to the side. "My sister is marrying out of what I hope is love for her fiancé and viceversa. The Viscount Jean-Jacques Wardes is a good man, and a dear friend." And if he hadn't let go of his Reconquista vibes, then perhaps a strongly worded letter would make him reconsider, though I sincerely hoped it wouldn't be needed.
"You too?" Anne asked, "You married the blue smurf out of love?"
"Our marriage was political, in part," I acquiesced. "But we have come to love one another, and that is all that matters," I smiled.
"Bah, where I come from, this sort of thing is done only in backwater countries. One should marry out of love always, not because you have to-" Anne grumbled, recovering the book near her feet. "So, you're this Duke of Brittany, but I haven't seen you do anything Dukish enough-why?"
"I am the Prince-Consort," I replied. "My duties as that are more important than my duties as Duke. Taking care of my army-"
"Why?" Anne asked, suddenly interrupting me. I narrowed my eyes. What did I say about interrupting people? "Why do you have an army anyway? Can't you just use magic to conquer?"
"Because conquering is easy, trifling even. Holding the land is not. Pacifying rebellions is not. A hundred eyes see better than a dozen, who see better than a simple pair. Also, mages need time to chant, they are vulnerable until they finish chanting," I remarked.
"Then wouldn't a gun make it easy to kill you?" Anne asked once more, my eyes blinking at the sudden line of inquiry.
"There is a way of hardening clothes through alchemy which, in turn, makes them as hard as a block of granite while keeping them easy to move in. Bullets would simply bounce off them," I acquiesced. "Nobles are usually expected to surrender in good order and swear an oath not to further the cause of their country while imprisoned, and once the war ends they are returned to their countries unless they have been ransomed before."
"That's stupid," Anne grumbled. "In a war, shouldn't you just kill the other faster than they get to kill you?"
"Oh? So you'd rule on charred land and corpses then?" I remarked, propping my chin on my open palm as I glanced at her. "Killing everyone, hurting everyone-it's not always the most apt solution."
She didn't answer, instead taking three quick steps with the book firmly planted on her head. She cheered then, letting it fall in her hands. "I did three steps!" she said.
"You have...a whole thousand or more steps to go," I remarked, "But you did well," I said with a knowing nod.
Anne snorted, "What am I, a dog? I don't want your praise, I just don't want to end up being hit again," she looked down at the book in her hands. "I can't even understand what's written here-"
"You can't read?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"If I could, I wouldn't be saying that I can't understand!" Anne shot back hotly, and to that I sighed and ordered a bit more my work desk, gesturing for a servant to bring forth a chair by my side. Anne sat down at another one of my gestures, and as I opened the nearest book I had that was also the easiest, I pointed my finger at the first runes written upon them.
"This is the tale of Ivaldi and the Dragon," I began. "Let us get started with understanding the Runic equivalent of the pronounced A letter-"
I once used to teach English to university students, didn't I?
It was just as fun as I remembered it to be.
Ah...correct, correct...nostalgia, why do you hit me so?