Noblesse Oblige [Znt/SI]

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Three

My blood didn't run cold, as much as stop flowing for a singularly infinite instant. Still, I picked up my swordwand and respectfully waited for my opponent to do the same. The man in question bowed with a charming smile, and the next, our blades crossed. There was a blunting spell on them, but it would still hurt slightly if one ended up getting poked in the eye -and considering just how effective swordwands were, one had to aim at the head to properly train in their use.

His swordsmanship was excellent. It was honestly faster than Jean-Jacques' own, the movements fluid and yet none were unnecessary. Trying to mimic his stance, his motions, his everything-well, it was difficult, but not impossible. The fact he didn't seem to have a limit to his speed made every parry or deflection feel like I've been coming too slow, but he slowed each time short of actually passing through my guard, letting the blow glance away.

The training room we were in had servants alongside its walls, watching in silence as the only noise barring my breath was that of the blades intersecting.

"So," I said. "I didn't know there was someone with your skills in the palace's services," I remarked. The man in question simply smiled, deflecting an incoming thrust with ease that made it look as if I'd been thrusting with a block of wood, rather than a sword. I had been trained by the best-and yet here we were, myself being toyed with. It was kind of frustrating on one part, but on the other...what did I expect?

"I keep to myself," the man replied with a humming tone, thrusting in turn and getting the attack swatted away. "I don't like doing unnecessary things."

"I see," I replied, "yet your skills are quite high. You must have trained for quite a long time to sharpen them," I said calmly, our blades crossing and then separating. Sidestepping to the side to avoid a thrust, I thrust in turn, only for the man to do pretty much the same. We began to circle one another, each sidestep accompanied by a thrust, a parry, or a crossing of blades.

"Thank you for the praise, your grace," the man said. "It is all natural talent however," he added with a smile before suddenly changing the direction of his sidestep, bringing down his free hand to chop down the wrist that held my sword and then placing the tip of his own against my neck. "Nothing more." He smiled as he took a few steps back, bowing nimbly.

I exhaled, and as a servant neared to wipe away the sweat, I inwardly grumbled. I could do that myself, but it would be considered an uncouth thing to do. The fact that there was a servant assigned to wiping away the sweat of my brow-truly, I wondered about what letters home he'd send. Oh dear, today I have swiped the sweat off two knights, one lady and the prince-consort, it was such a fulfilling day!

I chuckled softly as the commoner returned to his spot by the wall.

"Very well," I said with a smile. "However, there are some ground rules I wish to instate."

The man raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Firstly...that was not the height of your skills. You cannot hide that from me, and that you even tried...well, I'm disappointed," I said smoothly. "Secondly, following the pretty rules of dueling is nice and fun...until someone's fighting for his own life, in which case they are pretty much meaningless. I wish to learn how to fight, not how to duel." I smiled. "And finally, I do not want sugarcoated or honeyed words. If my abilities are so horrible as to deserve a special award for how much I am incapable with a sword, then by all means, say so. I find honesty refreshing."

"I would not say your ability with a sword is bad, your grace," the man answered, thinking it through for a bit. "But it does need polishing. A lot."

I smiled. "Then, what are we waiting for?"

That was how I ended up training swordsmanship with a certain Bleu, a blond-haired totally normal knight of the Western Parterre I had never heard heads or tails of. Isabella, dear, is there somewhere you won't put your spies?

My stay in Petite Troyes had been practically ordered by Isabella, mostly out of concern that I needed to heal properly from the duel with the Duke, but the truth was that she wanted me somewhere she could keep an eye on me while she ran damage control once the news got out of Josette's return, and my actions throughout it. Even though I had claimed full responsibility, there was more than one noble that simply didn't believe it so, and instead remarked on how it was just a surprising coincidence that Isabella had a ring on her finger given to her by the King, and how I'd been seen repeatedly remark on my loyalty to the Crown.

Most certainly, the Prince-Consort who's so quiet during court was simply swept along and did as the King ordered him to do. Even taking the blame on himself for the actions of the king-truly an example of loyalty, as befitting of the son of the Heavy Wind.

There also were nobles who believed the exact opposite, of course. To keep the crown in the hands of Joseph, he blackmailed the Duke D'Orleans into staying away from court. Such underhanded tactics-but such a type of voice didn't last long.

Whether or not Isabella had something to do with that, I didn't bother asking.

I sighed as I watched Raven fly in the air, my afternoon mostly dedicated to reading Holy Books on chants. The rebellion in Albion had swept up most of the Barons of the country, and the vast majority of the commoners in the army had fallen into Reconquista's hands. Whether Joseph was helping them with Myoz or not, the truth of the matter was that Albion's revolutionaries would have won anyway, with or without his help. The whole army refused to follow the King of Albion, themselves or their families starving, and the Reconquista promised fairer ruling with a council of sorts.

The usual tripe of promising democracy in order to achieve dictatorship, spun around with a bit of holy order complex and a sprinkling of We will give you food! which was actually a doable goal if Reconquista had nobles of other countries amidst their kin, willing to send humanitarian aid to their brethren in the White Country.

Thus, it didn't matter. Rumors of the holy void belonging to Cromwell would not spread, but victory of the rebels would be assured unless they managed to acquire some form of aid from the other countries-and they wouldn't, because the troubles of royalty with a kingdom concerned that royalty, and that kingdom, by themselves.

"There you are, dear," Isabella said as she came into view from the corner of my eye, her ladies in attendance gingerly following behind her. As she sat down, servants began to bring her the usual fare of tea, sugar and milk. "I have heard you have been training hard," she began, and I simply sighed.

"Your worries for my person are endearing, Isabella, but I truly will not stab myself with a sword by mistake, whether or not you have people telling you everything I do," I glanced at her, and smiled gently. "Queen Marianne's birthday party is coming up soon. It will be by the shores of the Ragdorian lake, and thus...I was thinking..."

"No," Isabella said offhandedly, "You weren't thinking properly."

Silence settled for a few seconds.

"Isabella," I said with a sigh.

"Henry," Isabella replied without much of an inflection in her voice.

"I am going," I said calmly. "It has been a while since I last danced with you, and I am sure there will be beautiful firework magic and the finest food and wine, but mostly, if we don't go, then I won't be able to show off my beautiful wife. That is quite the grievous sin, is it not?"

"You really like pressing your luck like this, don't you?" Isabella grumbled, huffing as she took a sip of her milk with honey, sugar and a bit of tea on it. "Very well," she conceded. "But you will have to keep me company while the royal tailors prepare my dress for the ball."

I inwardly howled in pain, and Raven, up in the air, cawed in answer.

"It will be my pleasure, my dear wife," I answered with a strained smile.

Isabella, by her part, simply grinned at me.

...

The things I did for the people I cherished.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Four

The Queen's birthday event would last for two weeks, and foreign royalty would be placed within the guest rooms of the royal palace of Tristain for this event. The invitation had been extended to pretty much all of the gentry, be they Dukes, Counts, Barons or simple knights. As long as they weren't fallen nobles, everyone was invited to have a taste of the best foods and wines of the country.

It was a heavily guarded setting, with both foreign and national guards standing at attendance with the utmost care in their every movements. Also, it was a masked event.

Even then, due to the presence of the Albion royalty, Mathilda and Tiffania couldn't come. It was one thing to keep them safe, and it was another to play with fire. I remembered enough movies to know how certain things might end if you put in the same room a wanted criminal with a mask and the policemen trying to catch him. Since the masks were simply small pieces of colored cloth with a stick by the side to hold them up, it was obviously not something that could be kept up always, and I had quickly renounced the idea of the mask in favor for actually being able to see where I was going.

"Lulu, my, my," I said as I smiled warmly, my precious little sister looking like some sort of candy wearing a light pink and holding herself upright. She was standing by the side of the ballroom all alone, our parents probably elsewhere, and princess Henrietta must have unfortunately ditched her for other nobles. My poor lonely sister-don't worry, your brother is coming to the rescue! "You've grown so much!"

Louise, in answer, huffed and raised her chin to the side. "Stupid brother," she mumbled, "In an official setting, my name's Louise. Louise," she said with another huff.

"In an official setting, your brother's name isn't stupid, but your grace," Isabella replied by my side, her arm linked with mine and her eyes twinkling. "Also, you haven't curtsied yet. I'm foreign royalty, you know that, of course?"

Louise blinked, and then widened her eyes as she hastily complied. "Sorry Isaisa-" Isaisa? The hell? When? How? Why? Who!?

"She's just like Little Helene," Isabella said with a giggle, "if with her hair strawberry blond," she hummed thoughtfully, "Can I bring her home?" she asked next looking up at me with pleading eyes.

"No?" I replied, "Mother might be cross if you did that to her little Lulu, though I've been thinking about seeing how far she's gone with her explosion affinity."

Isabella blinked. "Explosion affinity?"

Louise's cheeks reddened, and she lowered her gaze. "I make things explode," she mumbled.

"Oh," Isabella's eyes widened slightly. "Like, smoke?"

"No," Louise shook her head. "They go boom. Brother's been teaching me how to make them bigger so they're useful for something at least..."

Isabella glanced at me, and then back at Louise. "But the only usefulness for explosions would be-Henry, you aren't thinking of putting your sister in any danger now, are you?"

"Mah," I mumbled, "I'm just saying that if she can make people explode, then she'll have nothing to fear," I grinned. "Mother was a good knight, if Lulu here wishes to become a knight herself-I'm sure she's going to be a...blast."

Isabella did not understand at first, but when she did, her right foot came crushing down on my left one, making me hiss even amidst my chuckles. She let go of my arm, and grabbed hold of Louise's own, my sister's puzzled expression telling me she hadn't understood.

"You come with me," Isabella said with a huff. "It's been a bit since our last exchange of letters, and we must catch up with one another on the stupid things your brother does-"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, but the two had already begun leaving, and soon I was the one left all alone by the sides of the tent. This unfairness! Seriously! Don't you know that I can live by myself by feigning interest in the color of the tent's cloth?

Joseph, meanwhile, was entertaining a conversation with foreign ladies of voluptuous assets. I was half-inclined to join him, if nothing else for the beautiful bouncing views such a prospect offered, but held myself back. The Duke D'Orleans wasn't present, although it was probable that he'd show up at the very least once through all the weeks of party that would take place.

One presence, on the other hand, was King James the first, father of the prince Wales the Valiant.

"Have you been ditched, Henry?" the familiar voice that caught my attention and ears belonged to none other than Anthoine de Gramont, and as I turned to look at him, my eyes widened in disbelief.

"Anthoine," I said in disbelief, staring at him up and down. "What happened?"

Anthoine was, to put it bluntly, tanned. He was so tanned he could easily hide in the middle of the night. When he smiled, he made a creepy after-effect with how white and dazzling his teeth were.

His hair was smooth though, and even so-even so he held himself up properly.

"I have been blessed with a fiery wife," Anthoine said with a chuckle, "and between her dragon's breath or her wand, I do not know which of the two holds the most ardent passion!" he patted my shoulders and then drew near, "Please, I'm told you hire nobles from every country-hire me, get me out of this-" he whispered hurriedly, but a firm hand grabbed his shoulder and a woman whose smile sent shivers down my spine made me blink and furrow my brows.

"Forgive my husband, your grace," Henriette spoke kindly, even as I heard the crunching sound of bones breaking from her grip on Anthoine's poor shoulders. At least, that was my mental impression -accompanied by the wincing of the man too. She was wearing the outfit of the dragon knights, which was simply a form-fitting dark leather armor. If it weren't for the feather atop her hat, which marked her as the commander of said knights, she'd be identical to the rest of the knights patrolling the premises. "He is always too familiar."

"Oh my," I blinked. "He was just telling me how lucky he was to have such a beautiful wife as you, Henriette. There is no need for forgiveness," I beamed her a smile, which Anthoine enhanced by smiling in turn.

This was a combo attack. It was twice as effective. It had to be.

"Is that so?" Henriette's eyes glanced to Anthoine, "Perhaps then I will reward him." Why did it sound like a Dominatrix talking to a Sub? Anthoine-are you the strangest out of all the Gramonts or the norm? I dread to meet your older brother. No, honestly...

"By the way," I said offhandedly, "Is that your younger brother?" and as I pointed at a small blond foppish-looking kid trying his hardest to smile while surrounded by a gaggle of girls talking about perfumes and clothes, my heart went out to him. "Shouldn't you save him?"

"Guiche can handle himself," Anthoine remarked, "If he can't feign interest in boring stuff like clothes and perfumes, then he really isn't worthy of the Gramont name to begin with."

"Boring stuff?" Henriette remarked, "Are you not the one raving about how much perfumes slightly differ from one another depending on the gradient of water and alchemy used in them?"

I blinked at that, and then hummed. "Perhaps then, your wife might be better suited to save the poor boy from his...unfortunate situation?"

Henriette sighed, "Why not? Maybe if I nip some attitudes in the bud, I'll at least have a brother-in-law that doesn't try flirting with everything that moves and looks vaguely female."

"I am affronted by that remark!" Anthoine said with a huff, "It doesn't matter if they're females to begin with! They must simply be pretty!"

I stared.

It was subtle. One second, Anthoine was there. The next, a black scaled tail had somehow gripped the lower side of his ankle and dragged him outside so swiftly I could swear there was an afterimage of a terrified Anthoine in the spot he had been a second before, only it was now empty.

"Henriette," I said most nonchalantly, "You are truly terrifying," I nodded most wisely, and Henriette simply giggled.

"I do my best," and with a bow of her head, she marched towards Guiche. I heard an Auntie Henriette? and then I glanced away to the rest of the gathered nobles.

André had chosen the road of Templar-hood, and thus was in Romalia. It was a pity I hadn't been able to meet up with him, but even so...

My eyes moved to the figure of Prince Wales, dazzling and perfect.

The ring of Andvari...

...deep at the bottom of the lake...

...perhaps.

 

[DrMethilon]

Seems Henry's averted the Albion arc of FoZ, then. What arc was after that?

Click to shrink...

IIRC, the Tarbes Arc, where Saito gets the Zero fighter. Which now that I think of it, why hasn't Henry gotten hold of it, now that he has a chance? I mean, sure he can't fly it, but maybe he can reverse engineer the technology, something that we know can be done in canon (Ostland-class ship). If the Da Vinci version of Halkeginia could do it without help, then a genre-savvy Italian with modern knowledge and access to said person can make it too.

Besides, think how cool this fic would be with Henry Valliere, Ace Pilot! So many epic scenarios to be had.


1) Duel with Karin

Karin: You must come with me with the will to kill, Henry. You won't survive otherwise.

Henry: Of course Mother. Let me show you the power of ZA WARLDO!

*Special Plane Zero-chan appears*

Henry: You like my new ride, dearest mother? I even gave it the best name in the world, Hippogriff! *reveals shitty painting of a hippogriff in the side and climbs into the cockpit*. You better pray the Founder forgives you Karin Desiree De La Valliere, for I shall not!

Karin: *internally* Kya! Look at my little Grumpy Henry all grown up and mature terrorizing his own mother and looking so prim and noble. He even tamed a rare Metal Dragon to the point that it humiliates it with the name of an inferior animal (every one knows Manticore is best familiar). NO! I must not tear up, my baby has grown and is looking as intimidating as his mother and as dazzling as his father, but I must hold steady. Rule of Steel, Karin, Rule of Steel!

Henry: Mama, are you.... crying?

Karin: Curses!

2) Charles's Curbstone

Henry: SAVOIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Charles: ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap! *frantically evades bullets and missile barrages while valiantly retreating for his life*

Henry: EAT LEAD, NOBLE SCUM. FOR COFFEE, FOR MOE FOR PORN!!!!!!!


3) Henry's Royal Payback

Joseph: Wait, son-in-law. I didn't mean what I said about Isabella!

Henry: YOU INSULTED MY WAIFU'S FOREHEAD FOR THE LAST TIME, JOSEPH DE GALLIA! NOW SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! *gently pets sobbing Isabella on his lap* I think your forehead is your most attractive feature, my dear.

Isabella: *looks up with hopeful teary eyed expression* Really, you mean that?

Henry: Of course after all *smooches Isabella's forehead* it's the forehead of the woman I love.

Isabella: *Love for Henry intensifies*.

Joseph: Ew, get a room you two.

Henry: WE ARE NOT DONE YET, YOU DRUNKEN, EMOTIONALLY DEAD MORON! NOW STAY STILL SO I CAN SHOOT YOU!

Joseph: Never! *uses newly unlocked Haste to speed away*

4) Saito gets Renegade Interrupted.

*Boat scene*

Saito: Louise.

Louise: Saito.

Henry: PAVLOV!

*Rams Saito with Zero Fighter, sending him straight to the bottom of the lake*

Louise: Big Brother!

Henry: He is a 100 years too young to think he is worthy of dating my precious sister. Wardes needed Square and a high position in the Military to give him the privilege of holding hands with Cattleya privately. Next time, he tries that, I will turn him into confetti.

Louise: Brother, you moron!


AN: Thought I owed Shade at the very least a mini omake for all his hard work. Thoughts?

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Five

The waters of the Ragdorian lake were beautiful at night. A group of mages, armed with nothing but wind magic, had quietly managed to get their hands on the ring of Andvari, even though it was said that a castle stood at the bottom of the lake, and a city where spirits resided. The shores were calm, and tranquil. If there were any water spirits, I couldn't see them. It was highly possible that for all of their power, they were capable of sleeping like rocks for countless centuries -waking up only when called, or perhaps when they moved and realized they were missing something.

As I was thinking on the pros and cons, Raven dropped down from the skies by my side, cawing softly as he suddenly lunged for the riverside, splashing and then assuming a sort of duck form.

"You are a crow, Raven," I said dryly. "Or a raven, whatever," I added. "You are not a duck."

"Quack," Raven squawked out. "I'm a duck!" he chirped, "A duckling!" he added with a giggle, flapping his wings a bit and moving back and forth. Was he naturally buoyant though? Were crows capable of staying afloat? He then hoisted his wings up in the air, and with a powerful thrust dried them in an instant, hopping off the water and landing by my side the next second. "Scary," he said. "Don't want to drown."

"Drowning is pretty horrible," I acquiesced, looking at the surface of the lake. "Well, I'll just leave it there."

"Pretty jewel," Raven cawed softly. "Deep at the bottom, yes?" he turned to look at me. "I could go."

"No," I said, shaking my head. I patted his slightly humid wing, "Let's leave it there."

"Lord De Gallia?" I turned my head at the sound of being called, and then I smiled.

"Ah, your royal highness," I said as I bowed gently. "How may I be of service?"

The one talking to me wasn't Henrietta. It wasn't even Wales. The one talking to me was Queen Marianne herself. She was with her guards, and her attendants, but still-there she was, the woman who apparently had a crush on Karin the size of a moon, and then wasted away and died when her husband came less, and who couldn't suffer the weight of the crown any longer.

"We were wondering," Queen Marianne spoke, "If you were perhaps already bored with the party, that you found refuge upon the shores of the lake."

"I am never bored, your royal highness," I replied with a smile, patting Raven's neck. "My familiar simply took a bath without thinking about how he was not a duck, so I had to come fish him out before he drowned."

Raven made a quack sound, and to that, I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "He really wishes he could be a duck, of all things."

Marianne's eyes widened slightly, and then she giggled at that, with the small chuckle typical of a grandmother being told something funny by her grandchildren. "Your mother did remark something concerning the foolishness of your familiar," she smiled, "though we have not heard her be so full of life since...a long time ago," she turned to look at her guards, "As the son of the Heavy Wind, we wonder what your worth is as a guard?"

"I have dueled both my mother and the Duke D'Orleans, and I still live to tell the tale," I remarked offhandedly, "May your highness be the judge of that."

"Then we suppose we shall let you be our valiant knight for the time being," as she said that, I understood the implicit meaning and walked forth, offering my arm. Just so we're clear, madam, I'm a happily married man and I don't want to reenact any movies of the triple-x type with friends of the mother or that sort of thing. We shall be keeping this platonic only, I hope.

"Too many people might scare away the spirits of the lake," Marianne said with a huff, "so off you go, back to the party. We shall return in time for the cake," she smiled as the attendants and the guards complied -mostly by taking five steps back and then following us from an appropriate distance as was common custom. Privacy? If you want it, you'd better not pick up the crown of king or queen.

"We wonder," Queen Marianne said as she linked her arm to mine, starting to walk -myself simply following her pace, since she was royalty and I was not. "How do you find the court of Gallia? Is it so different from that of Tristain?"

"I have most aptly chosen to let my wife handle the courtly matters," I acquiesced. "I have the grace and finesse of a sledgehammer forced to work delicate crystal," I nodded, grimacing slightly. "But Gallia is a nice place, and his royal highness a good man, if with a penchant for wine...just like me, so I should not be remarking on it."

Marianne giggled softly, "Oh, such honesty," she didn't look that much displeased though. "We are glad you found yourself at home," she sighed. "We must admit, we were of the firm belief that you should have married our daughter."

"I understand," I said with a small smile. "Will the Emperor of Germania make an appearance?"

"He already has," Marianne said with a dull sigh. "You must have already left by then, but thankfully Cardinal Mazarin decided to sacrifice himself to allow for our swift escape. Rather than listening to that boring man, we rather prefer the company of such a spry youth."

I chuckled. "If I may be so bold as to ask," I remarked offhandedly, "I have been told that your royal highness knew my mother from a long time ago...may I be curious enough to ask about a time where my mother was not the wielder of the Rule of Steel?"

"Oh my," Marianne laughed gingerly, "That question-it is never proper to make a lady remember her age by making her reminisce of her past-we understand now why you compared yourself to a sledgehammer. However, we do feel it would make for a nice conversation topic, and it is so rare to find someone who is not afraid of her-" she sighed, shaking her head gently. "My husband never liked her-he thought we'd have a tryst if she stayed too long in my rooms-" she smiled. "Once, we impishly suggested some really interesting action-"

"Your royal highness, I understand now why my mother turns crimson rather than keep her normal color when thinking about the past," I said as I nearly choked on my spit. "There is one such thing as too much information, please, I beg of you-something more...normal."

"Something more normal? Ah..." her eyes softened fondly. "There was a time where we thought your mother was a boy, a pretty boy-we decided we'd take him as a lover even before marrying, so one day, we invited him in our rooms and the decided to ravish-"

"Your royal highness," I choked, "are you doing this on purpose?"

"That we are," she remarked with a giggle, "And your mother truly was right, you have the most delicious of expressions whenever you blush."

I simply sighed at her words, lowering my head slightly, "I suppose so," I exhaled loudly. "Though in the end, I will simply have to steel myself and suffer through at least one shocking story of my mother's youth." I grinned. "Did her hair ever get out of place after a peculiarly embarrassing moment?"

"That has not happened to our royal recollection," Marianne's eyes twinkled. "Why? Did such a thing happen that we were not privy to?"

"Oh, well then...your royal highness, let me tell you the story of how I made my mother lose her composure-"

The cold chills of death ran down my spine as I spoke, even as Raven, behind me, began to nervously look around in fright and fear.

Still, as Marianne laughed once more, I smiled warmly.

Mother, mother, mother dear...worry not, you've got nothing to fear.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Six

On the second day of the Queen's birthday celebration, someone pulled out a book of poetry and began to recite some of its verses. My traitorous wife took one good look at it, then stared at me. "My dearest Henry, you always tell me the most beautiful of stories...perhaps you should recite some poetry to try new things," and as she said that, she said it loud enough for every single noble nearby to hear her.

Was this revenge because we had slept in the same room, and I had most chivalrously decided to come by after you had already fallen asleep and go to bed faster than an owl could blink? Was this it? Dear-clearly, being tired means being tired, it's not as if I think you're still too young -which I do, but I'm not saying it to your face. Grow up a bit more, will you? Or was this jealousy because I had entertained the Queen the whole night before, much to your ever-growing anger? Dear, if you won't speak to me, I won't be able to conveniently run for the hills at the apt time.

"Very well," I answered with a smile as I stood up after the latest poem had been recited. I was not going to use Vogon poetry, although I was handed a book of poems, thankfully.

The first poem was a sort of long poem about lovers-the second about love, the third about passion, the fourth-Anthoine! You handed me a book penned by a Gramont! In answer, Anthoine brought a hand to his heart and then patted it, before giving me a thumb-up.

Shamelessly, I flipped through the pages and finally found something I could withstand to recite.

With a dreadful sigh, I began.

By the time it was over, I received a round of polite clapping, I bowed, and then made to return to my seat. In that moment, a voice rose through the crowd. "Tell a story instead, big brother!" I froze mid-step, my eyes snapping to where the devilishly smiling Louise was now sitting, right next to both Henrietta and Isabella. My wife was delightfully sipping tea.

"A story? Oh, I'd love to hear a story!" Henrietta's sweet innocent voice soon followed that of Louise.

"My husband is quite the storyteller," Isabella said with a warm smile.

"Oh? My husband was a poet...stylized himself as one at least, but a few short stories..." Marianne's eyes twinkled, and with that, my poor body fell under the glares of Karin who seemed to promise swift murder if I dared say anything wrong. Pierre was rapidly choking on his own breath, trying his hardest not to laugh out.

"Very well," I said with a smile as I took my seat back at the center of the tent. This was going to be a long night.

By the time I was done narrating the twentieth short story of my collection of short stories, among which we could count Little Red Lady Hood and The Three Little Lordlings, I was beat and wished for nothing more than a glass of water to satisfy my parched throat. Unfortunately, I was handed wine, and I accepted it as a substitute taking deep gulps of it. Joseph had already returned home -with or without a few ladies to keep him company along the trip was anyone's guess.

We were going to stay until Isabella grew bored, and considering how much she was enjoying her night, I highly doubted she would grow bored any time soon.

Music took the place of poetry, dancing becoming now the central focus of the night, and this time I ensured Isabella would have all of the dances she wanted. Once the fifth ball was over with, I smiled as I exchanged my partner with Louise, and then for the seventh ball I went with the princess herself.

By the time the eighth was coming around, the young ladies and nobles that were of a young age were sent to bed, and the adults on the other hand...they could finally get into the most serious discussions that could never see the light of the day, but which in the darkness of the night were paramount.

"Lady Montmorency's sister is still courting, is she not?" one whispered, "She has those juicy hips that-" what are you doing with that tongue, you? It's like you're speaking of a steak in that way! Control yourself! This is a place for proper nobles-

"Who was that pinkette-"

"My mother-" "My wife-"

"Apologies. I am new to this," the man was a Germanian noble, quite high-ranked too. "Is there a way to have a list of acceptable remarking targets?"

I sighed, and pulled out from my pocket a small booklet, which I handed over. "Here you go. It details a list of the most viable young ladies of court-"

A cold breeze settled behind my back, but I didn't turn. Then again, neither did my esteemed friends. "Oh! This Lady Rosanna-she was the carrot-haired young lady with that sashaying-she has my vote, and is she still...alone?" as the Germanian noble licked the tip of his fingers to fix his brows, a nearby noble nodded and sighed.

"They say she's got a paramour in the Count de Vichy-I hope not," his hands touched his clothes tightly, "Such a man is unworthy of her-"

"Who's unworthy of her, you imbecile?" the Count de Vichy remarked from nearby, "And those are just baseless rumors-I haven't had any luck in the last years thanks to that pathetic bastard of a De Royeaux claiming I was sick down below-"

This was the high nobility. Even though one might consider them holier than thou, when the clock marked three in the morning, when the ladies had gone to sleep or were elsewhere, when everything grew quiet-they discussed porn amiably with one another, and potential catches, and lovers. Married men, non-married men, they simply...were.

It wasn't all of the nobles, of course, just a handful. It was however a good handful. Friends of my father and friends of friends of my father were practically the top-heavy nobility in Tristain, and since L'Ombre de la Nuit had just published five new books, "Purity's three doors that the noble thief pried open is sublime," Lord Montmorency said in a whisper, "He's captured such a flawless mixture of...of depraved and yet holy-it is such a...such a delight to read each page."

"You are talking of Schatten Von Nacht," the Germanian noble said. "We heard of him-he is quite famous among the...like-minded gentries of Germania too."

"So even barbarians can enjoy good books!" someone in the group remarked.

"Now, now! Let's not make any offense here-" someone else said, and soon the offense was forgotten after the fourth glass of wine.

If only mother could see us now...

She would probably murder both father and I in our sleeps.

 

[Orm Embar]

warning Enough of this. @Ars Poetica, @Satar, this thread is not an appropriate venue for a morality debate. You are both threadbanned for the next week; continue the discussion in PMs or, preferably, not at all.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Seven

There is only that much partying one can tolerate in his lifetime, and two whole weeks of it were barely survivable if one had some profound reason for them. One can most certainly eat the most bewildering cakes each day, but eventually, they'll tire him beyond the point of belief. Thus, I remained there primarily as a mean to stay close to my family, and I reckoned that the same could be said for them -since a lot of nobles came and went, not really able to stay away for more than a few days from their own fiefs.

In the end even my parents had to return home -much to Karin's not so apparent displeasure- and thus the only ones that remained were Louise, who was Henrietta's playmate, the Albion royal prince valiant, and Isabella, who seemed to be doing her hardest to stay awake even past normal hours in an effort to tie the knot.

Unfortunately for her, I could easily do a twenty-four hour sleepless day. I had not built my man cave in the Valliere lands in the middle of the day after all.

Isabella's mood soured towards the end of the first week, but even as it did, I could do nothing to pacify her without infringing on my own moral integrity -and I had no interests in going against my beliefs, no matter how wrong they might have been for this period, my answer would adamantly remain the same for a few more years.

"I cannot believe you," Isabella hissed on the night of the eighth day, "I really cannot believe you when you say that you love me," she was firmly holding on to my arm as we stood by the side of the tent. "Am I really that disgusting that the thought of sharing some tenderness makes you recoil away?"

"No," I answered softly. "It's just-"

"You prefer them older, I suspect," Isabella grumbled, her eyes glancing to-the Queen? Come on! She's my mother's age! "Or perhaps fuller," why are you glancing at that lady now, Isabella? Her balcony is impressive, I admit, but- "Or maybe Tristanian?" and as her eyes fixed on Henrietta's form, I exhaled in disbelief.

"You are not old enough, Isabella-I would not wish to hurt you, no matter what-"

"We understand that," Isabella replied, her voice like steel and ice, "But we also understand that there is a limit to it. Does a kiss hurt? We cherish them-yours especially, my dearest husband. It hurts and pains my heart each time you recoil away, Henry. My affections-are they just a one-sided thing?"

"Now you're speaking nonsense, Isabella," I said with one more sigh. "If you wished for it, I'd give you the moon."

"But if I wish for your lips, you won't give them to me," Isabella retorted. "If I wish for your embrace, you won't give it to me. Are you...are you perhaps interested in men?" she whispered, the thought striking her as she widened her eyes. "The Gramont-I overheard him speak of certain things...Henry, if that is how you feel...I will have to do something about it."

"No?" I managed to reply with as much of a non-befuddled tone as I could. "That's silly. The only person I am interested in, my dear, is you." Answering with being interested in women was a trap-answer, and I was wise enough to know it. Because her counter would be then you do not see me as a woman yet, Henry? and from that hill there were few ways out.

"I wish I could believe you," Isabella murmured, eyes downcast. "Truly..."

"Then why won't you?" I replied with a smile. "I'll go to bed early tonight," I acquiesced. "Better?"

"For now, we will allow it," Isabella replied with a huff, pouting. "You are not allowed to dance with any other lady but myself for the night if you wish to be forgiven however."

"Not even my sister?" I replied aghast. "My poor little Lulu-she's going to cry if she can't dance with her big brother!"

Isabella groaned, and slammed the side of her forehead against my arm once. "You truly are a stupid man, Henry."

"But I am your stupid man, Isabella," I replied with a grin.

"Yes, that is perhaps your one redeeming quality," Isabella said with a knowing nod. "Now-let us dance."

And dutifully, I obeyed.

The next day, Louise was present -and with bags under her eyes- by my breakfast table. There were enough rooms in the palace that each guest and their family could dine in separate breakfast rooms, and so it was that usually Louise ate breakfast with father and mother, while I did the same with Isabella. Though with our parents having returned home, she found herself eating breakfast with Isabella and I.

"Lulu," I said with a smile as I sipped at my coffee cup, "Have you had troubles sleeping?" I asked nonchalantly, even as Louise simply looked away.

"A-Absolutely not! I slept all the night in my room-didn't wake up once, not at all!" she fumbled with the delicate omelette in her plate, and I hummed with my fingers clasped together.

"So the fact that Raven did not see your sleeping form in your bed last night is merely up to him being blind?" I remarked kindly, but my fingers were clasped and my eyes narrow. "Is that so?"

Louise choked on her food, and coughed as she hastily drank down the orange juice in front of her.

"Oh my," Isabella said, blinking. "So the little sister is like her big brother-going out at night thinking nobody will notice her." I blinked in turn, turning to look at Isabella who simply smiled. "I know you have a passion for moonlight walks," Isabella continued smoothly staring at me. "Be careful what you tell your sister, dear husband. I might take notes."

Louise smiled brightly at Isabella, who in turn smirked back. So it was a two versus one?

"I take Freedom out for a nightly flight every now and then, or spend time with Raven. Also, sometimes I simply spend the night away writing," I hummed. "Thus...what were you doing instead, Louise?"

Louise swallowed nervously. "I was playing with the princess in her rooms," she whispered.

"Throughout the whole night?" I remarked.

"When-When it got late we just both fell asleep," Louise acquiesced.

"But you were in your rooms when the morning came," I hummed. "You know, Lulu...just because you can't see my familiar does not mean he cannot see you. Want to change your version?"

Louise bit down on her tongue and shook her head.

"Very well then," I sighed. "I'll let it go this one time," I clasped my fingers together and propped my chin over it, "I suppose I can allow you some follies of youth since our parents aren't here at the present, but don't pull too much, understood?"

Louise blinked, furrowing her brows. "What I'm saying," I continued, "Is that you can keep playing with the princess throughout the night if that is your wish, but try to be discreet about it, will you?" I sighed, "If mother or father knew of your nightly escapades with the princess-"

Isabella's face turned scarlet as a sudden flurry of kicks went for my legs repeatedly. "Shame! Shame! Shame! Have some shame!" Isabella cried out with her face utterly red. I winced at the hits and turned to face Isabella, my expression showing the most utterly puzzled look of them all.

"Dear? Are you all right?" I asked gently. "Why are you so red?" I pressed on, much to Isabella's growing bewilderment. "I was referring to my sister's curfew of course...why," I smiled, "What were you thinking about?"

"Y-Y-You!" Isabella huffed, angrily drinking the whole cup of tea in one go. "Why you-" she grumbled. "You," she huffed. "I was thinking about your literary talents, dear husband. If you think I cannot recognize your...style, then you are sorely mistaken on just how much I, as your wife, know you." She smiled, thinking she had achieved victory. She smiled, thinking that I would grow quiet, or scared.

She had not yet understood that in some things, though they are kept hidden, we males must always be prideful of.

"What's going on?" Louise asked, not understanding the double-meaning in my words.

"Nothing Lulu," I said most wisely, "My dear wife's latest reading pleasures must have made her think I meant something different from normal, because you see-"

And as I neared Louise to whisper something into her ears, Isabella's eyes widened in disbelief.

Louise's eyes widened too, and then she looked at Isabella with a slightly shocked expression. "P-Pervert!" she said, and as soon as she did, Isabella's hair nearly shot out of place as she in turn widened her eyes.

"T-That's not true!" Isabella exclaimed. "You take that back right now, Lulu! Your brother's the pervert here-"

"Nuh-uh! You are! Reading that sort of things-big brother writes nice stories!"

I simply had a servant fill my mug of coffee once more and watched, with quite the amused expression, as the two fourteen and soon to be fifteen years old girls fought each other.

Go Lulu, defend my honor.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Eight

It was on the tenth night that the captain of the Griffin Guards was allowed to participate. I grinned broadly as I extended my arms and patted his shoulders at the same time. Much to Isabella's consternation, but it wasn't like I was going to bother with formalities after ten days of partying in which I had seen more than enough sugar and cream to feed a whole army of sumo wrestlers for all of their lifetimes. "Jean-Jacques! Just the man I wished to see!"

"Your grace," Jean-Jacques replied.

"Henry," I said with a sigh. "It's Hen. Ry. Hen, like the most perfect animal in the world, and Ry, like Rye, which is fundamental in the brewing of quite the alcoholic beverage. My name is made of the two most beautiful things in this world, Jean-Jacques, so please use it."

"Very well, Lord Henry," Jean-Jacques said with a small smile, "If that is your wish."

I pouted. "You make it sound like I must order you to do it or you wouldn't do it yourself. It's been so long!" I grinned. "You became the Captain of the griffin knights then?" as I asked, I looked up at the feathered hat.

"Indeed, I have been bestowed such an honor by her royal highness," as he said that and smiled, I nodded. I knew pretty well that he was the cardinal's favorite for a reason. "Even though this will keep me away from home a lot..." he sighed, "I can only hope my future wife won't be lonely-"

World, you're doing this on purpose.

World, you and I need to have a chat about how many things you're doing on purpose right about now. Listen here, world, if you don't want this, then by all means don't, but on the other hand-why?

"Ah, yes, the loneliness of a wife left without her husband by her bedside," Isabella said sweetly, linking once more her arm with mine, "Thankfully, that is not something we have to worry about henceforth, do we, Henry dear?"

"Of course not, my dear Isabella," I said with a nod. If the amount of kicks I received in my sleep were of any indication though, I'd need shin guards henceforth and forevermore. Or the hair tangled in my mouth. Or my arm being paralyzed from lack of blood flow. She was probably making up for the time we hadn't slept in the same bed, but-really, there were times I couldn't breathe and yet I also couldn't move.

Isabella giggled, "your marriage to Henry's sister will take place in just a few months' time," she added, "You may rest assured that we will find time in our schedule to participate."

"I am grateful for such an honor, your highness," Jean-Jacques said as he bowed to Isabella. When he stood back up, he smiled in the direction of an incoming Cardinal Mazarin. As I was sure the Cardinal had something politically-inclined to say, I simply took my half-step back by instinctive nature, and Isabella by her good nature -or her happy mood- decided to take the full brunt of politically oily speech from the Cardinal in question.

"Ah, your highness," Mazarin spoke, "It is heartwarming for such a humble cardinal to see the fostering of the alliance between Gallia and Tristain growing so fruitful-" Isabella, darling, he's all yours.

"Indeed!" Isabella piped in with a warm smile, pulling her set of shark teeth to the front. "As a holy cardinal, we heard much good has been done following your regency-should there be a need of help-"

And while the two spoke of words that meant perhaps little more than hot air -since nothing was written, or sworn by an oath- my eyes glanced towards Jean-Jacques with a look of bored resignation. His eyes were pretty much the same.

Perhaps we could ditch them both and leave them? My unspoken suggestion was met with a resigned eye-reply similar to a I do not have the out-of-jail card like you do, Henry. I wiggled my eyebrow in a sort of I could give you one. I have unlimited uses. To which Jean-Jacques replied with a twitch of his lips. As much as that would be amusing to behold, Henry, they will not talk all of the night hopefully. My sour smile was the last non-verbal answer I gave him. You don't know my wife, it seems.

Neither did the Cardinal though, but there was a reason he had been in line to become the next Pope, thus...

Well, it ended in a temporary draw.

When Isabella asked to dance after that, I was glad to oblige her. "We don't like the Cardinal," Isabella remarked. "Feeling so arrogant as to join our conversation-as if he were a king when he is in fact but a regent," she whispered that as we danced within the tent, fireworks going off in the distance. "Perhaps his arrogance is the reason he wasn't chosen as a Pope? You met the Pope, did you not? How was he?"

I hummed thoughtfully. "He was..." I said in the end. "A kind face, a warm smile...but I could not trust him, and I wouldn't trust him."

"He's the Pope," Isabella pointed out, "Why would you not trust the voice of the Holy Church, Henry? If not him, whose voice would you trust?"

"Yours," I replied calmly, and held back a wince as Isabella missed a step and got my poor right foot, "or your father's. The more time passes...the more I think the church should not meddle with the affairs of royalty."

"It is a surprisingly shared sentiment," Isabella whispered, "But please, keep your thoughts on these matters to yourself, my Henry."

"I will," I exhaled. "Only if you tell me yours."

Isabella blinked at that, and then grinned. "I...I believe that if the gods hadn't seen fit to put you on my path, then...I don't know. Things might have gone differently. That is why-even though I might not like some people of the church, and I know some of them are up to no good...I still think that the Gods should be respected and praised, if nothing else because they gave you to me."

"T-That...is surprisingly sweet of you to say," I replied.

Isabella grinned back. "That was a stammer I heard in your voice, my dear Henry," she giggled. "I find it unfair how you always praise me, but you never receive any praise in return," she gingerly clasped her hands against mine, and smiled brightly. "So...my dear Henry, know that I love you, your kindness, and your belief in the good within other people." She drew close and pecked my cheek, before brightly letting go of one of my hand since this motion of the dance required a light spin, I made her spin gently.

Gosh darn it if it was cheesy as hell. I needed to run damage control, because I was pretty sure I was turning quite crimson by the second -and it wasn't the wine.

My Italian soul was rubbing off on her, and with devastating results.

My wife wasn't allowed to be this cheeky!

 

[Ehn]

With the pace @shadenight123 is going at, this would have happened... two years before? Three?
Anyway, without further ado, I present you all the true* story of what happened right after Henry and Isabella got married!
* for a given value of "truth", that might or might not resemble actual truth​​


Isabella's first night

I cannot believe it, today I'm finally getting married with my Henry!
And all the books with the knights and the ladies says the first night is going to be special and awesome! I wonder what will happen.

Still, I must not let the excitement get to me, I... I might have made some slight blunders in the past... but I'm a royal princess, this night has to be perfect.

Let's take stock: in most of the books the knight seem really keen on ripping the bodice and/or the petticoats of the lady, so I prepared two drawers full of them. And I made sure they're flimsy, even if Henry wants to rip all of them he won't get tired.

Then there's all the candles... I'm not sure why there always are a lot of candles in the stories, but it's presumably to read something... I really hope he will read me his new book. I really loved the story about the blue and the yellow pegasi.


But that leaves... grrr, I'm the princess, why I cannot get a straight answer out of anyone? The book auntie did not want me to read said Henry is supposed to take my virginity... but I don't know where to find one of those!
I don't even know what shape one is, so I cannot look around the castle to find mine!

Maybe I can get a servant to buy a crate of them? No, wait, what if they sell them in bottles, or in jars? I cannot have commoners laugh behind my back because I don't know where to find a virginity.
Oh Founder, what if Henry does not like me anymore because he could not take mine? Maybe I can order the majordomo to give Henry his? No, no, it has to be mine.

Now if only I could find where it's supposed to be!

"Isabella? Why are you rooting through your stuff?"

"Oh, Charlotte, I did not hear you enter, I'm looking for... uhm..."
Grrr, I cannot let her know I don't know where my virginity is! ... Ok, calm down self. What would father do? ... Drink wine I guess... What would Henry do?
Of course! I'll be sweet and charming because I know everything and... and...

"I'm looking for ... er... remember that book we were reading before your mother took it away? I'm getting married and I should... he should take... you know?"

"Take what?"

"The thing, you know?"

"Oh, oh, of course... the virginity thing. I'll... help you look for it?"

She seem less poised than usual but that's a stroke of luck. When she finds one to give Henry all my preparations will be complete.

...

Except we have gone through almost all my stuff and did not find a single one! A single one! I'm the princess, I should have a hundred of them! No, a thousand!

"... hey Charlotte, how come you did not find a single virginity in that drawer? You know what colour it is right?"

"Whu? I... of course I know! I'm nine already, I know the marriage stuff!"

Well, she seems... somewhat sure? Maybe?

"All right, then if you know tell me its shape! I bet you don't know even that!"
There, that was absolute genius, now I can finally find out and no one will know I had no idea how to find one.

"Uh..."

Charlotte fidgets a bit with her hair like usual, then finally speaks up

"I did not find any in there... but... umh... oh, here, you can have one of mine."

Then she takes off one of those ribbons with little bells she ties her hair with and offers it to me.

So that's why I could not find any! I never wore one of those.

"Oh, well, thanks then. I was sure I had at least a box of them but it seems the servants misplaced it."

I take the ribbon and put it on his cushion, so he will find it for sure.

"So, are you excited for your first night? Do you think it will be fantastic like for the lady in that book?"

"Of course, it's Henry we're talking about. I hope he will read me stories until it's bedtime."

"Bedtime? But Isabella, remember the tale? The lady and the knight had fun all night long. I ... I think that your first night you're excused from normal bedtime, he's probably going to read you a whole book! Until it's so late even the adults have to go to bed."

She sounds really excited... and I must admit I am too. Of course, Henry is an adult, so I can stay up until his bedtime. Oh, this is fantastic!

"Umh... do you think I could stay for a bit too? I loved his stories."

"But he's my husband. Will be, whatever."

"Please Isabella, I lent you my ribbon... oh, I know." She takes off the other one and puts it on the pillow near mine "I'll give Henry a virginity too, so we can have a first night all three together. It will be like the sleepovers we did when he visited with Louise, except we won't have to go to sleep at normal bedtime. What do you say?"

---

Dear Louise Francoise Le Blanc De la Valliere. Heir to the La Bois. Sister in law.
I look forward to meeting you again this summer, this time as sisters.
My marriage was almost as wonderful as I dreamed it to be. It's a pity we did not get the diamond studded carpet, but Henry said that it's very difficult to walk on diamonds, so I did not have the master of ceremony incarcerated.
Father was there, and he was very regal during almost all the ceremony.
The first night was really fantastic. I thought Henry was going to rip my bodice, or at least my petticoats, but apparently he found them too nice and he just took them away.
To be completely honest it was quite tiring, but it was the best night of my life. Henry was simply tireless, he stopped only when both me and Charlotte were completely exhausted.
Do you remember my cousin Charlotte? She snuck into our bedroom that night. That is, mine and Henry's. He has a separate bedroom too of course, but we are married so we have one together.
Henry was a little surprised to find her there too, but he put both of us in bed, and entertained us all night.
And finally I can proudly say I have done my marital duty and I'm now a woman. Henry graciously took my virginity when I offered it. And Charlotte's too. But he got mine first, and he clearly was more happy than with Charlotte's!

Yours
Isabella Gaul, princess of Gallia.


I'm really happy Henry is having fun with Isabella and Charlotte... I miss him already. Maybe he told them the story of the purple unicorn that grows wings, he did not finish to write it before he started the trip to Gallia.

Umh... I wonder what a virginity is. I'll go ask father. I'm sure he would love to read Henry's letter too.

 

[shadenight123]

Chapter Ninety-Nine

In the end, the celebrations finished and we returned home. Well, Isabella went to Grand Troyes, while I went to my villa in the Duchy of Brittany. After two weeks of absence, I was dreading the state of chaos I would find there. I was not disappointed, however, when I found out that nothing had happened.

Nothing at all.

I looked at the books, stared at the letters, controlled the registers...and everything was in order. Everything was fine. There wasn't a speck of a problem-not even an ounce.

Thus, I looked out of the window at Raven, who was in turn nestling upon a large Zelkova tree I had planted in the garden. More than one of my gardeners had most politely pointed out how it would be folly, how it would ruin the harmonious convergence of colors of the flower beds, how it would destroy any sense of geometrically beautiful composition-and I hadn't cared.

If Raven wanted to build himself a proper nest, then he'd need a proper tree. Since the Winged People had transferred over into a patch of land they wouldn't be harmed or thrown out of, the Black Forest had practically become a full-blown lumber industry, with the wood cut being used in the building of a fleet that was supposed to rival Albion's own. That was Joseph's plan to avoid a war with Albion should the rebels win -one he needed to get in the game to start right in that moment.

I, on the other hand, had more pressing concerns.

The Petite Armé's first wetting of their blades happened quickly, brutally, and without much to write home about. A noble had put up a request for help in defending a village from a goblin war-band, and I had accepted -if only to gaze with my own eyes at a village made of stone puppets. It was, honestly, freaky. How much can a man ignore the truth laid bare in front of his eyes, if only to keep himself from the brink of despair?

"This was the last one, sir!" Agnes barked to her superior officer, who in turn nodded and turned to look at me. I gave a nod. The goblins had been led by a shaman, who had expected to find the village uninhabited, or poorly guarded. He hadn't really understood what was going on when from within the houses muskets had emerged to shoot his goblins dead, and he himself had offered no more than a gurgled word when a bullet had tore through his head.

What? He had thought to attack at night, and hadn't smelled anything wrong. He really should have paid attention to wind magic being used to mask scents, or to the use of Firework magic the moment they began their attack as a way of letting my men see. If you wanted a Flare, for example, a luminous one to light the night...then Firework magic did the trick. You just needed to make it a very ugly firework that shone brightly and did little else.

Also, I had some pretty good snipers. I was proud of having pretty good snipers.

You can even be Karin the Heavy Wind, but if you can't see the bullet coming for your head then your brains are going to go kablow. Well, mostly. I had snipers, but I didn't have sniper rifles. So it was mostly half a dozen of bullets that made the shaman bleed like a bag of blood on the ground, which he was.

"Job well done men!" I barked. "Get those corpses somewhere safe to burn them, and then get back aboard the Night Wind-we have to celebrate!"

There were cheers, and that was it, really.

Anything more required a knight, and for some really ugly missions, we weren't even called to begin with. You see, when they tell you that in case of plague you must burn a village to the ground, you can perhaps accept it as a form of it's the plague, you burn it or it spreads and kills thousands. But that same mentality was used in case of Vampires too. Oh, there's a vampire in your village? We could let the Vampire turn one of you into a Ghoul and then have him murder-spree everyone else, or we could burn you all to nice cookie crisps and hope we got the vampire among you.

If not? Rinse and repeat. Killing a Vampire was worth burning down to the ground whole villages and placing orders to burn anyone -be they young maidens, old crones, young boys- that came into sight. This, if it didn't kill the vampire, it at least either starved him down or forced him to lay low and stop killing his victims. This sort of ruthlessness was terrifying, but it was nothing compared to when a sighting of an elf made it all the way to a Lord.

Scouring the countryside dealing with Goblins though, This was how I spent my time barring the training with Bleu, spending time with the wife, and trying my hardest to keep up with the correspondence that was simply piling up no matter what I did.

Then, finally, something truly important happened.

"Henry, I need help," Joseph spoke plainly as he held a bottle of wine in his hand already half empty. "I need your help in particular."

I blinked, and then inclined my head to the side. "Of course?"

"I want to summon a familiar," he said. "I've been thinking-and I want to summon a familiar. It's not fair. Everyone has a familiar, why not me? I'm the King!"

"Ah...the circle?" I said, cutting to the heart of the matter. The summoning circle-well, putting that down required a spell by itself, so it was obvious he'd need someone to chat the spell for him.

The servants had already left us both alone, and as I moved the table to the side after putting the wine somewhere safe, I lifted my wand. "Here goes," I remarked, chanting the spell meant to craft the circle on the floor itself, and as tiny wisps of fire left the tip of my wand, they began to dance and circle across the floor forming the set of runes and symbols needed for such an endeavor.

"I knew I could count on you, Henry," Joseph said with a smile as he stood firmly on one side of it, lifting his wand. "So, is there a chant you think would peculiarly suit me?"

"Just go with what your heart tells you," I answered with a shrug of my shoulders. "If that fails, with what you think sounds cool, I guess."

"What I think sounds cool?" Joseph lifted an eyebrow, settled his crown on his head a bit more firmly, and then nodded to himself like a boy about to break a glass with a stone. "Then so be it!" he lifted his wand and began to chant, "Oh pentagon of the five elements, though there's an useless one among you, it's fine, because I'm useless too! So send him to me! Send me a familiar for this useless self, so that I can at least be of some use!"

I expected the explosion and braced myself for it.

I expected the explosion, and still failed to properly withstand it. My back didn't hit the doors as much as crack them, even as my ringing head was accompanied by what I could only describe as the warm sensation of blood dripping down my half-cracked skull -not really cracked, but man was it bleeding as if it were split in half!

Yet there, in the middle of the room, stood a scantily dressed girl.

There was just a tiny problem with it.

The woman in question wasn't Myoz.

"Uh?" Joseph said. He blinked. The young girl blinked too.

I stared.

"Well," I said offhandedly, or most appropriately slurred as I managed to get back on my feet, head dripping with blood and all that. "Congratulations, your royal highness," I said with sarcasm dripping from my mouth, which Joseph understood at a glance was due to my poor conditions, he didn't apologize, but he did hand me the closest bottle of wine, which I gracefully took and drank from. "You...summoned a pretty young girl."

"Is that even possible?" Joseph asked, much to the girl's terrified expression. She hadn't moved an inch from within the circle, looking right and left. We must have made quite an impression. Imagine being a young girl, and suddenly you find yourself in front of a blue-haired man that is richly dressed and someone who's bleeding from his head.

"If it isn't, she's the most solid hallucination I've ever seen," I remarked. "Finish the ritual though-she might be a Vampire-that is possible too, isn't it? Magical creatures."

"Oh! Well then! Pentagon of the five elements, this familiar-bind it to me!" and hastily, he stepped right within the circle and kissed the young girl on her lips. The moment the kiss was done with, I simply waited patiently.

"U-Urgh! Hey!" the young girl actually had the galls to slap Joseph away, "Don't kiss me you old man!" she exclaimed, her face crimson. "It was my first kiss!" she spluttered and washed her tongue with the back of her hand.

I stared. I was trying to wrack my brain about her identity, but...I was drawing a blank on her.

A few seconds later, and symbols began to burn on her forehead. I had to admit, the stalwart expression on the girl's face didn't abate, even as she clutched her burning forehead. "This hurts!" she whined as her legs suddenly gave way. I was surprised when it was Joseph that moved to hold her up, rather than myself. Uh, perhaps when they said that a familiar was a mage's extension, they meant more than just trifling things.

The runes on her forehead began to shine, and as they did, Joseph's eyes were transfixed on them, like a child watching television. "These runes..."

"Myozunitonirun," I said, "The Mind of God." I then swiftly knelt down, my eyes on the pavement, "Your Holiness."

"Uh? Oi, Henry-this Holiness now came from where?" Joseph asked, even as I kept my face down.

"The Mind of God, one of the familiars of the Holy Brimir-clearly, your Holiness is a fabled user of Void-"

"What? This is a prank, is it not? A joke? I made smoke and you threw a commoner in the circle while I wasn't looking?!" Joseph asked, his voice rising even as he realized that it was no joke, and that there were no conspirators in the prank itself.

"The runes speak for themselves, your holiness," I said as seriously as I could, "as an user of the Void-is your Holiness not the most appropriate title?"

"Henry," Joseph said most seriously, "This or that doesn't matter. If you don't stop calling me your Holiness, I will take your marshal baton and find it a new resting place up your ass."

I blinked, and then snorted, and finally chuckled as I shook my head. "F-Fine, Joseph," I chuckled, "If-If that's how you want it to be then fine, but I am serious," I continued firmly, my eyes glancing at the sleeping girl, "those runes-they do mean Mind of God...and if so...then that does make you a Void user."

Joseph turned his gaze to the girl in his arms, and then he smiled. "She looks Isabella's age," he replied. "Not much of a Mind of God I suppose," he acquiesced. "Perhaps more of an Afterthought of God? A Joke of God?" he hummed, and then looked at me once more. "Will you be finishing that bottle, Henry?"

I uncorked it, and then handed it over as I went to grab another. Uncorking it too, I neared it to his, and as we clinked bottles, we then raised them both up in the air.

"To miracles!" Joseph intoned.

"To miracles!" I replied.

And then we drank.

I didn't even care that by the time I stepped out of there, Isabella outright fainted at seeing me covered in blood from head to toe.

Most of it was wine though. Like, I was pretty sure most of it was wine.

I think.

Oh hell shit goodbye canon rails.