Life Ore Death
* December 5 [Artemis PoV]
<Recognized: Artemis, B07. >
Hours later, I was still
seething with rage and fury and
I-thought-they-wanted-me-for-me-how-dare-they humiliation from what Mom let slip late last night. I stormed through the Zeta Tube with a chip on my shoulder and a teammate I hoped I could commiserate with, once I found-
Wally zoomed up to me. "Hey there, beautiful, what's got you-,"
"Wally," I grit out, trying to not vent my anger on him, because he didn't deserve it and it was
fucking Batman and
Green Arrow, and, and, "now's
really not a good time. Where's Jericho?" [
M'gann, I need to ask Jericho a few questions,] I broadcast out. [
Is he in?]
"He's- uh, I think he's in the library with Ferris," Wally stammered out, keeping up as I stormed on my way. "Babe? You okay?"
"No,
I'm not, and you're
not helping," I said tightly, trying to keep in mind how much he'd improved from the guy who'd said I hadn't belonged on the team next to Red Arrow even before he knew I was only on because Mom had fucking
begged them to let me join.
[
He's doing something with Ferris, last I checked,] M'gann sent.
[
She's doing a sitting for me; we're in the library,] Jericho added. [
What's the problem?]
[
Not over the link; I need to talk to you in person.] I considered whether I wanted to bother putting up with Renka
smiling at me while I discussed this. [
Can you put what you're doing on hold for a while?]
[…
If she doesn't mind,] he agreed hesitantly as I rounded the last corner and opened the door to the library. [
It's just art talk.]
[
Great.] "Wally, I need to talk to Jericho alone for a bit. Can you grab Renka for a few minutes? If you don't mind," I added to her, "it's just a bit personal, and I really, really want to hit something."
Renka, good girl that she could be at times like this, stood up shakily with a nod and motioned Wally over. "Carry to the kitchen, please?"
He glanced back and forth between us.
"I… okay. But can we talk, later?"
'Shit, I took it too far, please don't tell me he wants to break up with me.' I just had that slight lurch of fear through my anger, and I hoped it didn't show on my face when I said, "Oh, yeah, okay. We'll talk."
'Deal with this deal with this then deal with all that, Crock.'
The door shut behind them, and Jericho – maybe I should've called him Joseph, since he was out of uniform and out about his name, but we weren't really that close yet – started speaking to me in sign language. I didn't bother paying attention yet.
[
M'gann, I need to talk fast with Jericho about some stuff, so can you not listen in on this link?]
[
Okay,] she sent back cheerfully.
[
Thanks.] I turned my full attention to him. [
Sorry to drop this on you,] I semi-lied perfunctorily, [
but as my fellow "villain's kid on the Team" I really need to vent.] His eyebrows shot up at me.
[
I... guess I am that,] he admitted, and a part of me thought I should feel guilty for bringing it up, bit fuck it I didn't. [
What's wrong?]
[I just… I wanted to ask about how you got on the Team, and your mom, because it can't have been- I mean,] I tried, and hesitated. Finally, [
I just heard last night that my mom had to beg Green Arrow and Batman to let me get on the Team. I mean, my first outing involved helping them put down Amazo, and I thought I was wanted here because I impressed them. Not 'cause a wheelchair-bound ex-con broke down crying. You've made the occasional joke about your skills,] I sent, not sure where I was going with this, [
but you do know you're here because you measure up, right? I mean- did you get on here because… argh, this wasn't even going to be about you, I just-!]
I groaned and dropped my head onto the desk, clawing vaguely at my hair.
[
I think I get it. Okay,] he began, [
first, I feel like I should point out that we're sort of in opposite positions. Your mom begged to get you on the Team, and I practically had to beg to let my mom let me on the Team. But you know that no matter how you got on here, you wouldn't still be here if you didn't measure up, right?] he checked, and I raised my head. [
I mean, no amount of begging would let Batman send out someone who couldn't keep up, and I had to do extra, crazy practice to get ready to come here while you pretty much went out cold, right?]
[
Right,] I admitted slowly.
[
And that was way back then,] he concluded. [
You've gotten even better since then. So even if your mom is the reason you got on the Team, she isn't the reason you've stayed on. You're still here because you're a kickass badass, with or without a bow. You helped save the world on Roanoke and everyone on the Team would go to the mats for you. You know that, too, right?]
I…
I took a deep breath.
[
Okay,] I admitted, [
maybe I am being a little silly.]
[
No, not really,] he said immediately. [
Just, it is your mother. Begging is a strong word. I'd've expected you'd be angry on her behalf, that she felt she had to. Though, maybe not? Our moms are different.] He perked up. [
Actually, I probably shouldn't introduce my mom to her, but I'd be interested in meeting your mom eventually, if that's okay. It'd be nice to talk to someone who gets it. Maybe get a peek in Dad's head.]
[
You sure he's worth it?] I asked bitterly. Then I quickly back-tracked with a wince. [
Never mind, forget I said that. You said Deathstroke never had any dead giveaways and wasn't abusive, so I shouldn't bug you on that.] I realized that, as a teammate, I probably ought to check up on him about that. [
How… are you handling all of it, anyway?] He'd drooped as I asked him about it, so I took a leaf from Renka's playbook about physical contact and reached out with my hand to cover his. [
Any sign of him?]
[
No, but Grant came back. He's been in a foul temper, and there're shouting matches; he's technically back, but he's spending time at friends' houses almost as much now. I think he tried to join up with Dad, but couldn't and no one is happy about that. He always wanted to join the military, but he's been a bit more direct about, uh, "taking care of business" and stuff. I just hope we don't end up on opposite sides. I'm not sure how to talk sense into him.]
[
Now that I can help with. My sister's in the League of Shadows… actually, my mom would probably be a great chance to tell him why the criminal life just sucks, if we want to set that up,] I realized, all but buzzing with the opportunity to really help out. [
It'd give your mom a reason to not hate her guts, matter of fact. I'll bring you over some time, introduce you, and you can see if you want to ask her about it?]
[
That sounds great, thanks.] I quickly reminded myself that I was dating Wally, and all the reasons why I enjoyed dating Wally, because Jericho was really cute when he perked up and smiled. [
Hey, as long as we're having a heart-to-heart, how are things with you and Wally?]
'And I thought I was the one with painful accuracy,' I thought with a wince. "Well, that's-," I stopped.
[
Oh. Not good? He's looked really nervous the past few days, especially just now,] Jericho assessed.
I tried not to cringe. [
Actually, that's my fault. Sort of. I… sort of found out a secret he'd been keeping,] I hedged carefully, because blowing identities was a big no-no, [
and I don't really blame him, but I've been using it to troll him and some other stuff. I… should probably come clean to him about that. I've just been doing small stuff, trying to work my way up to something bigger, but I'm dry on ideas for big pranks.]
[
Huh. If you say so, though I'm wondering if there's something else he's also worried about,] Jericho suggested, and I tried to not let him get me suspicious when I was in no place to be pointing fingers.
[
Maybe, but given what he has told me… I mean, in this business, there are some times we just have to keep secrets. Not his fault,] I stated, and something in me unwound as I said it.
'It's not his fault. Not either of their faults… I hadn't really been thinking about that….'
[
Well, I've never had a relationship more serious than flirting with a classmate, so I'm in no position to give you real advice on that.]
[
Give it a year, add on a bit more muscle, and you'll be a real heartbreaker,] I assured him drily. I stood up. [
I think I need to go talk to Wally,] I sighed. [
Get this off my chest, and vent to him a bit, if he'll let me.] I shivered slightly at that final thought. [
See you.]
[
Likewise,] he dismissed with a wave, flipping back open his sketchbook.
[
Hey M'gann, where's Robin? Is he in the mountain?] I asked as I stepped into the hall. [
I need to talk to him. Wally too.]
[
Right here.] "I'm right here," he said aloud from down the hall, giving me a jump. "What's up? Wally wanted to talk to you."
"Yeah, I should talk to him, too. I also need to talk to you," I admitted, trying not to demonstrate how nervous it made me, "so, where is he? Might as well get this all over with at once."
"He's in the gym, either sparring, or helping Ferris with her physical therapy," Robin informed me.
"Yeah. How's that going? It's been a while since I specifically checked."
"A little sub-asterous, I think, but she's staying whelmed and traught," he informed me, offering an elbow nudge and grin in reference to his 'get traught or get dead' ultimatum when the Red Robots had attacked. "Definitely not a disaster, at least."
"That's good," I muttered as we enter the gym area. Renka was, sure enough walking carefully but quickly on her own, though she was keeping the parallel bars set up on either side of her in easy reach in case of stumbling. Kaldur was walking with her, softly talking as they went, and both spared us a wave and a nod. Wally was-
<Kid Flash: Fail. Point to Superboy. >
-getting his hat handed to him by Conner in sparring. Conner was taking really well to Black Canary's lessons; I could still beat him, as I considered us under equivalent handicaps from me being non-lethal while he couldn't use his full strength, but he was able to make me work for it. I almost called Wally over, but he saw us and bounced up to zip over.
'
And I should get to a place where Conner can't overhear us,' I remembered, an uncertain smile flitting onto my face. "Wally."
"Babe," he greeted back, returning my hug with only a bit of worry. Now that I was looking for it, I could see I'd been making him nervous a lot, more than I'd intended, and I squeezed extra tight because I felt guilty. "You… wanted to talk?"
"Yeah, and Robin should be involved with this, and it should be one of our rooms or somewhere Conner won't overhear. No offense," I added at the same volume with a nod to him, which he returned because he could hear me still, "but it's private."
[
I'll either be here, or unwinding at the TV,] he sent back.
[
Got it.] "My room?" I suggested. I hadn't really personalized it beyond tools and arrow storage, and some clothes and stuff, but even we Team members who didn't sleep here every night had rooms where we could sleep, if we wanted.
"Lead the way," Wally invited, still a touch nervous.
I thought about leaving him to hang, so he'd be more relieved, then thought about how easy it was to switch from fear to anger.
I grabbed his hand. "Wally, I'm not mad at you. I'm actually going to be saying sorry for something, okay?" I looked him in the eyes, swallowed after a second of anxiety as he blinked at me, and then he leaned forward and kissed me.
'Yeah, things'll probably be all right,' I decided. Which was a revelation in itself, because up to now thing were never 'all right'.
"Blech," Robin groaned at us. "Seriously, PDA right now? There's an impressionable young mind here. Try to be a bit more gusting."
'All right, as long as the Batman doesn't kill me,' I amended, pulling away.
"I'll make sure to tell people you're too young to kiss, then," I teased him. "Seems like Zatanna ought to know."
He squawked as I led Wally down the hall again, and scurried after us.
We got to my room, I quickly tossed a pair of dirty jeans in the hamper, gave a relieved sigh that nothing more embarrassing got left around, and I closed the door behind us with a whir.
"So. You were gonna say sorry?" Wally prodded uncertainly.
"Yep. I owe you an explanation," I sighed trying to keep up my courage for this. "Right. Okay. So… First off," I began, and whirled on Robin to shout, "you are a total
dick, you little ninja
troll! 'We'll laugh about this someday,' really? Talk about a dead giveaway, Grayson!"
"What!" He yelped. "Uh, I mean, I have no idea… ohhh, Batman is totally going to
kill me," he groaned. "Totally losing the aster."
"Ha! Well, looks like you're not the only detective here, Robin; she totally made you," Wally teased. Then, "Hey, waaaait…."
"Yes, I've been letting Dickie-bird here overhear me complaining at school about how sucky it was to date you, which I swear was a total lie by the way," I admitted all in rush. "I figured it out, I knew he'd have to run tell you because you're 'bros,' and I was trying to troll you for not telling me I went to school with Robin." Which I knew was a shitty excuse, so since I knew he was a prankster I hurried on to add, "I was planning to build it up to this big practical joke or whatever, but I've just been blanking on how to use it to prank you, and you were really getting weirded out and upset by it, so I just wanted to get it out in the air between us… and… I hope this doesn't change anything."
I wilted slightly as Wally went from bemused, to serious, to just staring at me.
He put a hand on Dick's shoulder.
"I know it's your room, but can me and Rob talk for second?" he requested calmly.
"I- uh, yeah. I'll just… be waiting," I said, backing out nervously.
The door closed, and I spent a minute almost chewing my lip nervously and doing my best to not listen in at the door.
Then I spent a few more minutes pacing up and down the hall, muttering, and I was almost at the point of breaking down into a rant with swearing (mostly at myself for being such an
idiot) when the door hissed open and Wally motioned me in.
"Okay," he said seriously, which looked almost as attractive as his carefree smile except that he was being serious at me. "We've got a few quick questions. One, does anyone else at your school seem like they know?"
"No," I said immediately. Then, "I should tell that Barbara made me, pretty early on, so she knows I'm on the Team with Robin. I don't think she knows about Robin being Dick Grayson, but she's the reason I stopped ignoring the signs, because I showed her a picture of the guy I was dating and she recognized him as Dick's friend Wally." Wally cringed, though Dick looked a little relieved. "I didn't tell her you were Kid Flash, babe," I assured him, "but Babs is smart. I'm surprised she hasn't figured it out. She used Ice Fortress footage to corner me."
"A lot of people have a hard time believing that anyone is under the mask, or imagining who it could be," Robin muttered. "But yeah, Babs is ridiculously good at, like, everything. She reminds me of Aunt Karla," he admitted. "She wasn't in the circus before she married my Uncle, but she was performing with everyone not long after. Babs is, like, personally improving the chances for Gotham Academy's gymnast team to go national, and I've heard she might have a spot at the junior Olympics in a year or two, if not this year. Asterous, right?"
'He still has no idea that she got into gymnastics and computers because they were stuff he showed interest in, does he? Well, at least me and Wally can laugh about it in the future, since the secret's out between us.' I snorted at the thought of how those talks'd go.
"Okay, next quick question: you doing anything tonight?" Wally asked me.
"Uh, no? Training with the Team, and seeing if we have a mission?" He and Robin shared a nod.
"Okay, since it was Babs who helped you figure Rob out, it's okay for me and you to hang out with the Gotham crew," Wally declared cheerfully. "So… There's a Chanukah party Rob is going to starting at six, and some Gotham Academy classmates are going to be there too. We're now both invited, since the secret's out, but that means you're in charge of helping to keep it."
"Bette's aunt Kate is throwing it, and Babs is also on the guest list, so Batman said I have to attend with Bruce anyway while he looks for Poison Ivy, just in case that's where she shows up," Robin continued. "I'll be totally traught to have some better back-up."
"Wait," I interrupted, because something was wrong with that sentence, "isn't Batman Bruce Wayne?"
Cursing under his breath, Wally dug out his wallet and slapped some bills into Robin's hand.
"I
told you that'd be the first thing people think of," Robin teased.
"Oh come
on, even if she's met him, I guess he was just…" Wally trailed off, grumbling, as Robin turned back to me.
"Good guess, but no. Bruce is funding Batman, and providing funding for the Justice League," he informed me, "but other than two times that he pretended to be a big distraction, Bruce has never worn the cowl. He's smarter than a lot of the gossip rags paint him, but he doesn't have the ties, the training, or the discipline to be Batman, even if he has the means. He realized that when he wanted to try cleaning up Gotham early on, so he partnered with a guy who could do the dirty, fist-bruising fight-work, and that was the birth of Batman."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense; it'd be pretty hard for Batman to rescue Bruce Wayne the few times he was held hostage if that was the case," I realized, slowly realigning my mental framework. I'd only met Bruce Wayne once or twice in passing, but even if he was more cunning than the tabloids claimed and could cut a good figure in a suit, he hadn't really struck me as being Batman at all. "Damn."
"Ah, don't feel bad; I knew Rob a lot longer and I'd seen them in the same place before, so that's why I didn't guess the same thing right off the bat when Rob told me. Eheheh, pun intended," he added with a rakish grin.
I swatted him on the shoulder. "Right. So, me and Wall-man are attending a Chanukah party at six tonight. You'll show me where?" Robin nodded cheerfully. "Great." I tugged my clothes a bit self-consciously. "How dressy will this be, and how much gear am I going to need? I've never really been to holiday parties," I admitted, "so are there girts I should bring? Anything I should avoid because they're Jewish?"
"She'll provide all the food, so just avoid wearing swastikas, and if you want to bring some gelt, they're good for dreidel games."
"Gelt are chocolate coins," Wally added, and I relaxed slightly, although it was a bit freaky that'd he'd seen I had no clue. "A bunch of places usually sell them around now." He paused. "You know, there's probably a 'penny-pinching Jewish loan-shark stereotype' joke in the fact that they encourage kids to gamble with fake money over Chanukah, but I can't make it without sounding like an ass."
"After a drink or two, our hostess'll make half-a-dozen of them if you get her started," Robin assured him drily.
"How much gear should I bring, and how dressy?" I repeated, because we'd gotten off-topic. Wally glanced at Robin, and shrugged.
"Rather than 'fancy' or 'informal,' I'd say you should wear stuff with long sleeves and wear some of the light-,"
"Light armor beneath it, right." I nodded, then bit my lip. "Would a button-down shirt be okay, or would I look like a guy?"
"Babe," Wally schmoozed, "if you were a guy, I'd get bent for you." I rolled my eyes and shoved him, despite feeling flattered.
"She's… eh, she's really out, so there's no harm in telling you," Robin decided. "Katherine Kane is an out lesbian, and a bunch of her guests'll probably be queer friends, so don't worry about that. Just bring hand-held gear, smoke bombs, and that stuff," he recommended.
"And since… wait, did you say that since Babs is attending, you have to go because Poison Ivy might show up?"
'It was something like that… Waaaait, they're both redheads, so…?' "Barbara and Poison Ivy aren't related or anything, right?" I checked.
'It would totally explain her fascination with super-heroism, on top of her dad's job, and Poison Ivy is a brilliant bio-chemist who brews her own chemicals and stuff….'
"No, but Pamela Isley was a reliable babysitter for Babs when Commissioner Gordon was working, and the first time she broke out of Arkham after her
change she made Babs a recruitment offer to join her, but left when she said no," Robin explained. "She hasn't really overtly done anything, but there's been a couple signs that Babs is still a person of interest to her, so we watch Barbara Gordon whenever Poison Ivy is out of Arkham. And given that she's suffering drug withdrawal and crazier than usual, it's tough to stay turbed about this."
I swallowed hard, remembering what I knew about Ivy from papers, Gotham gossip, and League reports.
'I've got to take most of that with a grain of salt, because the Injustice League stuff was way above the threat level she's shown before… and she's suffering from some drug withdrawal after they used it to boost her up before, and they might do that again,' I realized.
'Dangerous.'
"Anything in particular you recommend packing to use against Ivy?" I asked. "I'm guessing freeze equipment…?"
"I'll bring along the array of anti-toxins; actually, if you can get Babs to take one by saying they're from Batman or whatever, that'd be great," Robin calculated. "She knows Ivy's come after her before, and this stuff works better if it's already in your system beforehand. Hey, is there such a thing as a now-hand, or an after-hand?" he asked randomly.
"I know there's an 'afterward,' but now… not sure," I admitted easily, still turning over the Ivy issue in my head.
"I vote it's either nowadays, or currency. You get it? Current-sea?" Wally joked, nudging me.
I rolled my eyes, leaned over, said, "Good
gelt, Baywatch, shut up," and kissed him.
