Life Ore Death
* December 3 [Robin PoV]
"Oh that is just
bullshit," KF complained as Ferris and Jericho unanimously blocked his Hail Mary for the attack roll. "If wolf's bane is poisonous to werewolves, then extract of tiger lilies should totally be poisonous to were-tigers! My ranger went through all the trouble of looking for the flowers, and-! C'monnn, his damage rate sucks, so this type of role-play is the only way I'll be useful in battle guys."
"Baywatch, I don't know where you got the idea that wolf's bane is poisonous to werewolves," Artemis interjected with some fondness, "but that's what you get for playing a ranger."
"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" he pouted, giving me a stink-eye.
"Hey Wall-man, I agreed to play a meat-headed barbarian like you said, so you played the ranger like I suggested," I pointed out. "Besides, it's not like I'm doing all that much in the fight either. Artemis, you never heard that old rhyme?"
"Which one? 'Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday'?" she suggested drily. "Or maybe, 'Beware the Court of Owls, that watches all the time'? Personally, I prefer, 'Lurks in the shadows, hides in the park. Simon. Simon. Simon Dark,' to all of those. Feels a
little safer." She pinched her fingers.
"Not one of the Gotham rhymes, this is old like Dracula," KF dismissed. Ferris gave a permissive hand gesture, so he stood, and said:
"Even a man who is pure of heart, and says his prayers by night
"May howl like a wolf when the wolf's bane blooms, if the moon is full and bright."
Most of us applauded politely at the recitation.
"Good voice, Baywatch," Artemis complimented, "but none of that has to do with wolf's bane being poisonous."
"It's a part of the bigger mythos! Zatanna, mistress of magic, help me out here," he pleaded.
She pouted cutely, and I caught myself watching her lips again, wondering if I could kiss her.
'Or if I should kiss her, after Babs kissed me,' I remembered again, my stomach both fluttering and churning.
"I think it's poisonous, if we're talking about the right type of real-life werewolves," Zee explained to us, "but D&D isn't real life, and either way, wolf's bane got its name because it was poisonous, not the reverse. Tiger lilies were named because they resembled tigers, not because they poisoned tigers. And besides, that's not an actual were-tiger either."
"It's not?" I glanced at Ferris and Jericho, went over what had happened in the game, and groaned. "We're fighting a moon druid, aren't we? That's just the Wild Shape of a tiger." They smiled and nodded.
"And a light-weaver friend," Ferris admitted. "Illusions. You all failed your investigation rolls." She shook her head dramatically.
"
And our arcana rolls to recognize the signs," M'gann groaned. "
Why did we want intelligence as a dump stat again?"
Conner, who was playing a wizard and probably role-playing to keep his lawful evil character's mouth shut, just grinned, the smug jerk.
"Crud," I commented idly. "And here I thought beating up were-animals would be cathartic before I'm on lockdown this weekend." Artemis gave me a confused look, and I realized, "You didn't hear? Yesterday?" She shook her head. "Kyle Abbot broke Poison Ivy out of custody."
Artemis scowled. "Speaking of werewolves… Hey, Gotham is my home too; you want me to stick around and help out with it all?"
"Wh-what? Uh, I mean… Weren't we gonna get dinner? I have that, uh, the surprise thing for you," Wally objected awkwardly.
"Batman's cleared you to fight in Gotham too," she countered. "Right? Come along. Beating this guy's face is more important."
'Oooh… Yet another bad sign for their dating life,' I commented internally. I'd been overhearing negative gossip between Babs and her at school, but she always seemed mostly fine with him in person, and now he'd been worrying I was lying about what I heard.
'Good grief….'
We kept playing until it was late, and split our separate ways.
I stayed behind to talk to Ferris, but Wally needed to talk to me, too, it seemed.
"I'm starting to see what you mean about Artemis," he admitted. "Any ideas? Could I go hang around Gotham? You mentioned you were going to some informal party tomorrow night…?"
"Chanukah party put on by B's cousin," I whispered, waiting for Ferris and Jericho to finish cleaning up the game. "Kate, the red-haired one? Sort of a drunken lush now, but she used to be in the army?"
'And secretly Batwoman in her spare time, though maybe not for much longer,' I thought, but kept quiet because blowing her ID to Wally was
waaay beyond giving away Bruce's through mine-by-association. "You went to the one last year, but Babs is going to be there, and given her memory she'd recognize you easy. Then we'd have to explain that."
"Not feeling the whelm here, bro," he complained quietly.
"You're dating her; you'll figure something out," I snipped back, not feeling at all jealous at them always getting cozy together.
"Huh." He eyed me for a moment. "On top of Abbot breaking out Ivy, what's really eating you? You seem inappropriately whelmed."
'…He knows me too well.'
"You know me too well," I sighed. "Okay. So, there was a something that popped up on my alerts not long ago… There was a theft over in Europe, and-," I switched to a soft whisper. "-Jack Haly popped up as one of Interpol's suspects. Remember him? It feels like a bad omen. Not turbing."
"The circus? Hey, the old man's clean as they come, he'll come out of it okay," Wally assured me, and hearing it from someone else
really helped more than I expected. "I've gotta go; Joey wanted my help with something about Christmas presents." I snorted at the nickname. He zoomed off.
"Robin?" Ferris asked gently, wheeling over. Apparently she finished fast. "Do you want talking with me?"
"…Yeah, I sort of... need some help. With a… a dating relationship thing," admitted quietly. "Advice?"
"Mm. I give to you advice?" She sounded a bit surprised. I nodded. "Robin, I gave advice to the Black Canary and she broke up."
I hissed nervously through my teeth. "Yeah, well, your advice is either probably good, or really,
obviously bad," I told her, trying to not be insulting, "so I figure as long as I don't do anything I
know is a bad idea, it can't hurt much."
"Mmm…" She nodded slowly as she thought about that. "Okay. Please make me tea?"
I groaned a little, because Alfred would
know if I skimped on proper tea-making protocols, but I went ahead with it.
Once Renka finally tasted her chamomile – served with a splash of milk and a sprinkle of cinnamon, for whatever reason – she motioned me to start talking. I nervously tried to delay with my own drink, but she didn't care, so I gave up pretty fast.
"Did you know Zee kissed me?" I opened with. "Um, back on Wednesday? You were heading to Qurac by then…."
"I did not know. I heard something, I think, but I did not know. Mm, this is not 'congratulations,' I think. You seem unhappy, yes?"
'Unhappy' wasn't quite the impression I wanted to give. I'd certainly liked it. "Well, I mean, I liked it. Uhh… do you know why she kissed me?"
"Because she likes you?" Renka suggested, looking like she was trying not to let me know she thought I was stupid.
I flushed. "W-well, yeah, duh, and that's great. But… so, she's not the only girl who likes me." I could guess what the next words coming out of Renka's mouth would be, so I hurried up and added, "Not on the Team; she's a girl I know in my secret identity. We've known each other about as long as I've been Robin, and we were at a party on Monday and she kissed me. She says she likes me too. What do I do?"
I sort of hated how pathetic my voice sounded – and really, what kind of guy
complained about getting kissed by a bunch of girls, and 'oh my life was horrible,' and that – but these were my
friends. I liked them both; I just hadn't thought about them that way for very long.
And now….
"Mm. Are you dating?" I started a bit at her first question.
"Uhh… No, no, not dating. Zee just wished me a happy birthday, and…"
'Wait, I call Batman "B" so calling Babs that would be confusing.' "I'm gonna call the girl I know in my secret identity G, okay?" I explained. Ferris nodded. "Zee just wished me… I just realized, but can you not tell Batman I let slip that it was my birthday, please?"
"I will not tell," she agreed.
"Thanks. Zee wished me happy birthday, and then later on at my birthday party we were playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, which is a sort of- uh, it's a party game," I said lamely, "and me and G spent seven minutes in a closet, and we weren't going to
do anything, but then she kissed me on the lips and when I asked why she just said, 'why do you think?' Aaand we didn't really talk about it but things are all awkward and can you help me with what to do?" I pretty much begged.
Ferris nodded, closed her eyes, and took another long, slow sip of her tea.
'I must sound like such a dweeb. I mean, Ferris handles stuff that's life or death, and I'm bothering her with teen relationships?'
"First, thank you for asking my to help you," she began as I almost stood to leave. My butt dropped back into the seat. Her eyes – I thought they looked more amber, but she'd repeatedly called them 'tawny gold,' so whatever – opened and fixed me with a warm, even look. "I am glad I am able to help to… help you. Next," she continued, "I have three questions." She crooked one finger. "Why do not ask the Batman?"
"Batman?" I laughed in relief. "Because it's embarrassing, and he's generally bad enough with relationships – 'no dating, only duty'," I boomed, successfully drawing a smile from her, "but on top of that, bugging him about relationships when Catwoman rolled into town just last week is even worse an idea than usual. Wally's sort of a goof, I'm not quite willing to ask Artemis," I hedged to cover up her connection to my secret ID, "Conner and M'gann don't quite know enough about normal teens, neither does Kaldur, and I
can't ask Zee," I finished.
"Mm. You can ask Zee, I think, but I will explain later," she said quickly, before I could object. "Question two: does Zatanna say she wants to date you?" I reflected a bit bitterly how much I would give to know for sure, and if she'd still want to trust me when I couldn't-
"We flirt, I think she's super-pretty, we get along great, I really like her, and she
kissed me," I repeated. "I think that says everything." I grimaced. "Except it
doesn't, because I still can't tell her my secret identity, and everyone
knows lying in relationships is only-,"
"Mm." I cut off when she crooked her third finger at me. "Third, has your friend G said she wants to date you?"
"Again, we're friends, I think she's cute, we get along
great except I can't tell her about Robin, and she
kissed me."
"But after the kissing, neither of them has said they want to date?" she repeated.
"…No," I finally admitted, "the word 'date' has not been said. Does… it have to be? Said, like that?"
"I think, yes," Ferris told me. "Mm. Okay. Advice." I perked up a little, though I scanned the room again quickly just to be safe. "First, tell Zatanna about a girl you know in your secret identity also kissed you, and you are confused. Ask if she-Zatanna was asking to date you, even though she-Zatanna does not know Robin's secret identity. Talk to her, and also talk after to G. Tell her, 'her' is G now, about another girl also kissed you, and you are confused. Tell them both that you like them, and you think they are pretty, but you do not only like them, and you do not want to hurt either friend. You do not want to, mm, do not want 'two-time,' yes? At very bad, try to be only friend with both of them. But talk. Be honest. When you cannot, say you cannot."
"You mean, like if Zee asks about my secret identity or if Ba- uh, if G asks about how I know Zatanna, say that I'm not allowed to say, even though I want to? Your whole, 'I do not want to discuss it' thing?"
"Yes," she agreed with a pleased nod.
"I'm… not sure that'll go over well with either of them," I said slowly, dread churning in my stomach.
"You are friends. You have been friends without dating," she reasoned. "You can still be friends without dating." She yawned.
'I think that was an intentional dismissal.'
"I'll… just get going and try it," I promised, before quickly leaving.