Hereafter [Worm x Fate/Grand Order]
- Thread starter James D. Fawkes
- Start date
- Crossover
Chapter CXVII: Wait and Hope
James D. Fawkes
Court Scribe
- Location
- Avalon (Isle of Mists)
This story and this chapter brought to you by my wonderful supporters, whose kindness and generosity have made it possible to devote so much of my time and attention to writing, especially Eric, s22132, and Alias 2v10. You guys are absolute legends. To show my gratitude, they had the chance to read this and upcoming chapters before the public release. You can find out more HERE.
And now that the shameless plugging is out of the way...
Chapter CXVII: Wait and Hope
Unfortunately, even Emiya's gourmet food wasn't enough to distract me for very long. Between my somewhat lacking appetite and the headache that still hadn't abated, I wasn't even completely sure how much of it I really even tasted.
A shame, considering the usual quality of Emiya's meals, but maybe appropriate, given the circumstances. I think I would've felt bad if I actually got to enjoy it — it was one thing when your parents were telling you to eat your veggies because of all the kids who were starving in China and another when you were eating richly while a valued coworker and colleague was quite literally fighting for his life a few hallways away.
Marie didn't seem much better off. She ate robotically, and only about half of her tray at that, and then dove back into the paperwork piling up on her desk. Even that didn't seem to hold her attention as completely as she would have liked, because I would periodically notice her read and reread the same piece of paper several times before she realized she'd done it and moved on.
Through Muninn's eyes, perched on a shelf in the corner of Ritsuka's room, I watched Da Vinci and Romani work, more Da Vinci than anything. Romani stayed to monitor Ritsuka's vitals throughout while she flitted back and forth between there and her workshop, ferrying different devices to and fro that she used to measure only she knew what.
She didn't seem to be having any luck in any case. The near-omnipresent smile that usually graced her face had been traded out for a furrowed brow and a tight-lipped grimace, and every hour that passed seemed to only make that furrow deeper.
I think it might have been the first time I'd seen her well and truly stumped. Confused? Yes. Uncertain? Yes. But she was like Lisa, in that the instant you gave her anything to work with, even if it seemed so infinitesimally small as to be worthless, she could take it further and make leaps and bounds beyond what you might expect. It might have taken her almost two years, but she'd figured out Tinkertech, after all, and then replicated it. She'd more than earned the moniker of "unparalleled genius."
This was the first situation I could remember where she didn't have any idea at all where to start. And I think that might have been the most frightening thing of all, in all of this.
Romani seemed just as helpless, but he was diligently keeping track of Ritsuka's condition, just so he could be sure that nothing had changed for the worse. It made him seem slow and lethargic compared to Da Vinci, but that just meant that things were still going well enough that we didn't have to worry about Ritsuka's condition worsening. As long as he and Da Vinci remained calm, I could convince myself to do so, too.
Rika, meanwhile, stayed by her brother's side the entire time. I didn't see her leave even once. Even when Mash brought her food, she just stayed there, tray sat across her lap, and mechanically ate a meal that she would normally have been gushing about.
It was almost like she didn't know how to function without Ritsuka.
Like Dad. How he'd shut down after Mom's death, barely going through the motions and almost incapable of taking care of himself, let alone me. How something in him was broken beyond repair when we lost her, and he never quite managed to completely pull himself together.
Those two really loved each other, didn't they? As though I needed any more proof that they were really close and cared for one another deeply.
It was going to be really bad if he didn't make it through this.
Mash stayed, too, although not as obsessively as Rika. She watched and waited with a calm patience and serenity that gave no hint to what she must have been thinking underneath, but for the frown pulling down at the corners of her lips. Where Rika looked as though all the life had been sucked out of her, Mash remained stalwart and certain, like a knight holding vigil at her lord's side, filled with unshakeable faith that he would eventually wake up.
An appropriate comparison, if the Heroic Spirit inside of her was who I thought it was.
The only one unaccounted for was Shakespeare, at least visually. I had no doubt that he was watching the whole thing transpire in spirit form, using the unique advantages it afforded him to both stay out of the others' way and see everything as it happened from unique angles.
There were no openings for me to exploit. I watched them all patiently, waiting for the moment when there would be a chance for me to slip in before anyone could stop me — and I still wasn't even entirely sure I would pounce on it if it ever arose, when it would mean breaking Marie's trust — but even if I'd been completely determined to follow that path, the chance never materialized. Romani and Da Vinci never left at the same time, meaning there was always someone there to stop me if I were to be seized by the impulse to bully Shakespeare into putting me under with Ritsuka.
Maybe it was better that way. If the temptation didn't exist, then there was nothing for me to be tempted by, and therefore I couldn't convince myself it was worth breaking Marie's trust for the chance to save Ritsuka. It could never be anything more than an idea in my head, an idle daydream without any real substance or intent behind it.
A flash of guilt in my stomach made me look over Marie's direction. She didn't seem to notice my conflict at all, she was that consumed in what she was doing: distracting herself from the situation in the only way she knew how.
It just made me feel worse about it. Like I was taking advantage of her.
The morning passed like that in agonizing slowness, a morass of nothingness, anxiety, and guilt — guilt that I wasn't doing anything to help Ritsuka, and guilt that I was thinking of how I would go behind Marie's back to do it. I watched from the metaphorical sidelines, incensed and impotent, plagued by my inability to do anything and the knowledge of what it would cost me if I did.
Marie had driven home quite clearly what that curse could do to me, how I was especially vulnerable because of my past, and that was why we couldn't take any chances putting me under it, but in a way, I felt like I was already suffering from it. This was the stuff of my nightmares, the sort of thing I dreaded, and even though Ritsuka was the one who had been directly afflicted, it was obvious that the curse itself didn't need to have touched any of the rest of us to reach us all the same.
Lunchtime was announced by the chime of the antique grandfather clock sitting off to the other side of the office, and Marie stopped poring over her paperwork long enough to look over at it, frown, and rub tiredly at her eyes. Then, she checked her communicator for messages, as though I would have missed them, let alone her, and a moment later, her stomach rumbled.
I still wasn't really feeling in the mood for food either, but I knew better than to think it was a good idea to skip a meal, so I leveraged myself out of the chair I'd spent the last several hours in and told her, "I'll go get us some lunch."
"There hasn't been any change?"
I paused, cast my attention down Muninn's sight with more scrutiny than before, and found that the scene looked almost exactly the same as it had for the rest of the morning. The only difference was that Romani had left at some point, leaving Da Vinci to loom over Ritsuka as she examined him with yet another contraption whose purpose and function I couldn't even begin to guess.
"It doesn't look like it," I hedged, "but I'll flag down Romani and see what he has to say."
If he'd left the room in the first place, it was probably to go and get some food for himself. Given it was Romani? It was probably Da Vinci who had all but ordered him to make sure he ate so that he didn't keel over while he was supposed to be keeping an eye on Ritsuka's condition.
Marie sagged, but nodded, biting her bottom lip until it turned white. She didn't stop me as I turned to the door and left.
Arash, I began, are you there?
Always, he replied immediately.
Stay here and keep an eye on her for me, just in case, I told him. I don't want to leave her alone right now.
Got it, he said, and I felt the skin on my prosthetic arm prickle as though he had walked past me and through the door.
The halls felt emptier than usual as I made my way down to the cafeteria. They hadn't been anything close to full ever since the sabotage, but I was more keenly aware than ever of exactly how barren the entire facility had become since we'd lost so many of our people.
Because there was a very real possibility that we might lose another one very soon.
The impulse to turn around and march back to the dorms was nearly overpowering, but I mastered it and forced myself to go the rest of the way towards the cafeteria instead, and when the doors opened and I stepped inside, the place felt even more empty, despite the handful of people seated about the room and eating their own lunches.
Romani, coming back the other way with a tray of food in his hands, stopped when he saw me, blinking.
"Taylor."
I jerked my head over towards the side, and he frowned, but followed me to an empty table in the corner where no one was sitting. I didn't sit, and although he set his tray down for the moment, neither did he.
"Any change?" I asked him lowly, making sure that any eavesdroppers couldn't hear. I could feel Emiya's eyes on me, but unless he knew how to read lips — a possibility whose likelihood I realized only in hindsight — he shouldn't be able to catch our conversation.
Romani sighed heavily and seemed almost to age several years before my eyes. "No," he said quietly. "Which is kind of a good thing, if we're looking at it from that angle. We're still picking up on activity from his Magic Circuits and Da Vinci is still reading bursts of increased energy consumption from Jeanne Alter, but we're no closer to unraveling this curse than we were a few hours ago. Frankly, the part that worries me the most is that Da Vinci, of all people, is struggling with it."
Yeah. I'd had a thought like that myself not that long ago. Things always got scarier when the smartest person in the room had no idea what was going on, and it was always worse when it was also the smartest person you could think of.
"A part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and have her use her Noble Phantasm," he admitted, "but it doesn't do us much good to bring Ritsuka back if the life support functions shut off and kill us all in the process. You know?"
Because she had to fulfill the roles of something like eighty or more people at once. If I looked at it from a cold, calculated angle, the fact that she was even working to help Ritsuka was itself taking her attention away from what could be vital functions the facility needed to keep going, and the longer she spent away from her duties, the greater danger she put the rest of us in.
But if it was up to me? If we were sure enough that it would work, I think I would have had her use her Noble Phantasm to break the curse in a heartbeat. Despite the risks involved.
"I guess not," I said neutrally. "Does that mean the plan hasn't changed either?"
Romani grimaced. "For now, yes. I'm sure you've already had this conversation with the Director, but there are too many risks involved to attempt something as dangerous as sending one of you Masters in to help rescue him. That…might have to change, if this goes on for long enough without any improvements in his condition, or if something goes wrong and we need to attempt an emergency rescue."
About as I expected then. If I couldn't convince Marie to let me try and rescue Ritsuka, when she knew me as well as she did and had at least the majority of my past, then there was no way I should have ever thought I could convince Romani or Da Vinci.
"How long is long enough?" I asked calmly instead of pushing the subject.
"The way things are going right now?" Romani sighed. "I guess it's really going to start being a problem once we have to hook him up to an IV just to keep his body functioning. As much as I hate to even consider it, if things haven't improved and we're still no closer to an answer after two days, we may have to start looking at extreme solutions. No matter how much we dislike them."
Perhaps somewhat paradoxically, that actually made me feel better. That the options they had shut down earlier had never been completely taken off the table, just shelved for a last resort.
Good. It at least meant that they were still options and we hadn't just given up on Ritsuka, because I wasn't sure I could have ever looked at Romani the same way again if he had.
"I see." I looked pointedly down at his tray of food. "I'll let you get back to things, then. I came to the cafeteria to pick up lunch for the Director and myself."
Romani grimaced. "Ah. I'm sure I don't need to ask this from you of all people, but…keep an eye on her for me, would you? This has…hit close to home for all of us, after the sabotage and all, but she's in the most delicate state of all of us right now, so I have no doubt it's worse for her."
"I know. I will."
Although I thought he might have been underestimating how delicate a state Rika was in, too, considering this was happening while she was still trying to deal with the whole situation with Emiya's death and return.
Romani smiled a tight, tired smile, and then, he picked up his tray and left.
A quick glance around the room showed no one had paid us any attention, for whatever that was worth when there were so few people there to begin with, so I made my way over to the counter, where Emiya was waiting. He greeted me, grim-faced.
"Any news?" he asked.
"You didn't ask Romani?" I replied, honestly curious.
He shook his head. "I trust you more to give me a straight answer, no sugar-coating."
If that didn't say something about his faith in me…
"No change, so far," I said, "and no new information. They're still working on figuring out what's going on, so there isn't a plan for fixing it yet." I met his eyes, then deliberately glanced to the side. "Does everyone already know about what's happened?"
He frowned, then started dishing me up a tray of food. "For two," I told him. "Make one for the Director, too."
He paused for a moment, then slid my plate over, added another one, and lifted the tray up so he could stack a second beneath it. A neater solution than me trying to carry two large trays laden with food from here to Marie's office.
"The broad strokes," he said, answering my question. "It seems like the basic gist of things has managed to spread throughout the rest of the facility — only natural, considering how few people there are here — but as for the finer details, well, Mash let me know what was going on."
As I should have expected. We hadn't exactly told her that she needed to keep things a secret, so when she came here for breakfast alone and took a tray back for Rika, naturally, Emiya would have asked her what was going on, and Mash wouldn't have seen any reason not to tell him. We were all comrades, here, all colleagues, allies in the same fight, so while there would always be details that were kept private and secret as a matter of course — like my history, for example — there were just too few people left to avoid most of them coming to know about most of what happened here.
It occurred to me suddenly that Emiya himself might have a solution. After all, he had who knew how many Noble Phantasms in his Reality Marble. It was entirely possible that one of them was capable of breaking the curse on Ritsuka.
"Emiya," I began, "can you break the curse?"
He paused again, considering it, and grimaced. "Maybe," he hedged, "but I can't be entirely sure of the side effects. I do have something that can negate curses and such, but I've never encountered one like Mash described, so if that curse is broken with that particular Noble Phantasm, it might wind up leaving his soul stranded outside of his body."
My mouth snapped shut before I could even suggest anything. He'd shut me down before I could do more than open my mouth.
"I'll bring it up with Da Vinci and get her opinion on the subject," he promised. "But as for other solutions? That guy, El-Melloi II, he might have some idea, so if you track him down and tell him what's going on, he might be able to help, if only to figure out what's actually going on."
I was ready to leapt into action and go search him out right then and there — finally, a lead on how we could actually help Ritsuka in a way that no one would have any objections to — but my stomach gurgled to let me know that I was still hungry. As though to remind me that Marie still needed to eat, too, and I hadn't just gone to get food for myself.
Except I didn't have to do it myself, did I? I had people here I could rely on, allies who would help me if I just asked, so I could go and eat, and meanwhile, send someone to find El-Melloi II so I could ask him to help Da Vinci figure out what this curse was and how it worked.
"I'll ask and see what he has to say," I said.
"And I'll head on over myself as soon as lunch hours end," Emiya replied. He smirked a little and pushed the doubled tray over towards me. "Try and make sure she eats more of it this time, alright? It's no good if our Director collapses from hunger in the middle of a tense situation like this one."
A faint flicker of amusement sputtered in my belly, but died before my lips could do much more than twitch.
"Will do."
I picked up the trays, turned around, and left. The doors whooshed open to let me through, and I felt a few people glance my way, but no one stopped me or said anything about it in earshot.
As I made my way back down the hallways and towards Marie's office again, I reached out to Arash. Anything happen?
A minor episode, he reported, but she's okay now, so I don't think it was anything you need to really worry about.
And yet, I couldn't help worrying. It proved something that I had already known was true — that Marie still had trouble when I wasn't around, that she still had moments of self-doubt and weakness, still had those panic attacks that I'd had to help her through before, and she had to push through them without me. Alone, with no one to reassure her and no one to help her banish her demons.
The most recent ones likely featured Ritsuka and all of the ways she could imagine things going wrong. Waking nightmares of him — or all of us — dying, struck by an unseen enemy from an angle we had all thought ourselves protected.
But it wasn't like there was anything I could do about that. I couldn't be with her all day every day, and even if I tried, Marie herself would realize what I was doing eventually and sink deeper into self-loathing and depression. The stuff I was there for would disappear, but the ones I wasn't there for would get worse, and they would be made all the more terrible by the fact she was pushing them down and away until she was alone.
Maybe that was my karma. The world repaying me for all of the stuff I'd put Lisa through, once upon a time. That didn't mean I had to like it.
When I reached the door to Marie's office, I had to maneuver the trays around so I could put my palm up against the scanner, and then, with a beep and a hydraulic his, the door slid open. Marie looked up from whatever she was poring over as I entered, and my eyes immediately found the faint redness rimming her own and the swollen bottom lip she must have been chewing on, the locks of hair out of place from where they were before.
I made sure not to comment on them.
"Courtesy of Emiya," I told her as I strode across the room. "He's going to check in with Da Vinci to see if there's anything he could do to help once lunch is over."
To Arash, I added, I need you to go find El-Melloi II and brief him about what's been happening. See if he has any ideas for how to help.
"Help?" Marie asked, confused. "Emiya?"
Got it, said Arash. I'll head on over and bring him up to speed now, if you're okay without me?
Yes, I answered him, and then, to Marie, "His Reality Marble. I asked him if he had anything that might be able to break the curse, and he said that he wasn't sure what he did have would work the right way."
"I see," she said as she absently cleared a space for her tray. "Unlimited Blade Works… I suppose it only makes sense that something capable of replicating Noble Phantasms might have a copy of a Noble Phantasm that could be useful here. But he's not sure it would work the right way?"
"That it wouldn't leave Ritsuka's mind and soul stranded." I didn't comment as I felt the skin of my prosthetic prickle again — Arash leaving, no doubt. "From what he said, that's the only part he's not sure about."
Marie grimaced and reached for her cup of tea to take a sip. "A Noble Phantasm that can break curses… Negate them? Undo them? If it's conceptual, then it shouldn't be any trouble, but if it uses brute force… On a normal curse, it wouldn't be a problem, but this is different. It's not entirely impossible that Ritsuka could wind up…ugh, I hate that I don't have any other word for it — stranded."
"Hence why he's going to discuss it with Da Vinci before they try anything with it. Just in case."
There was always going to be an element of risk, I thought as I set the tray down and started separating out the meals. Having said that, minimizing as much of it as possible was always better than jumping in without any plans or preparation the instant we saw something that might work, but by the same token, if you spent all of your time trying to make something as risk-free as possible, then your window of opportunity might just close.
That, I suppose, was where our biggest difference of opinion laid, at least on the issue of rescuing Ritsuka. Marie didn't want there to be any further risk at all, especially to me, and it wasn't like I didn't understand why, but I was too aware to not realize that what she wanted might be impossible to even achieve.
Sometimes, there just wasn't anything you could do to make something safer.
When everything was set out, Marie immediately grabbed her utensils and dug in, brow furrowed thoughtfully as she ate on autopilot. I watched her chew — on both her thoughts and her food — as I sat down in one of those plush leather armchairs and ate my own meal, and beyond the occasional muttering that I never quite made out, she didn't say anything else.
Halfway through lunch, Arash sent me the mental equivalent of a poke, and I paused.
Yes? I asked him.
El-Melloi II's onboard, he reported. I told him what we know so far, and he's gone to help out Da Vinci and the good doctor.
At this rate, that room was going to get very crowded. Even if half of it could go into spirit form, almost everyone there was going to either be materialized for one reason or another or simply couldn't.
As much as Rika might hate it, she might have to leave to make room for everyone trying to help Ritsuka. I didn't foresee that conversation going particularly well.
Good, I replied. Come on back over here. I want you to keep an eye on the Director when I take our trays back to the cafeteria.
Understood, he said dutifully. On my way.
After swallowing my next bite, I announced, "El-Melloi II's gone to help out with Da Vinci."
Marie stopped, fork halfway to her mouth. "He has?"
"I sent Arash to tell him what's going on, to see if he might have any ideas. Get a new perspective. As brilliant as Da Vinci is, she isn't perfect, and she can't think of everything."
"I…suppose that makes sense," Marie said. She shoveled another bite into her mouth, and around her fork, continued, "Even if he himself doesn't have anything to add, Zhuge Liang might be able to provide some kind of insight, too."
Ah. So she'd finally gotten caught up to that point, had she?
"At the very least, having a fresh pair of eyes or two might help Da Vinci come up with some new ideas, too."
I wasn't really holding my breath. In the end, I thought it would almost certainly come down to the original idea — sending one of us Masters in to perform a rescue — and this whole song and dance was mostly just a long, convoluted way of finding out that we'd had the right plan from the beginning.
Who knew, though. Maybe Da Vinci really would magic up a solution — in a very literal sense — and this whole thing would be handled without me needing to do anything. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it if it did happen that way, but I guess it would be refreshing to have other people take care of the problem on their own.
We fell back into silence as we continued eating, and while I finished off another of Emiya's delicious meals, I cast my mind back down the thread connecting me to Muninn, inhabiting her senses much more fully than I had been the past while, and looked out into Ritsuka's room. Nothing much had changed. Emiya and El-Melloi II were there now, making things even more snug than they'd been when I left with Marie, but they seemed no closer to finding a solution than they had been hours ago when this whole thing started. Rika and Mash were both still there, but where Mash had stepped back to make room, Rika was squished between El-Melloi II and the wall, still clutching to Ritsuka's motionless hand like it was a lifeline.
Shakespeare was nowhere to be seen, but I had no doubts that he was still there. This was probably the most exciting thing to happen around here since he was first summoned, and there was almost no way he would have missed it.
I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that. He hadn't caused trouble yet, but that wasn't to say that he never would, and this whole incident proved exactly how disruptive he could be if he set his mind to it. I didn't much like the ideas I came up with for what he might do if he ever got bored enough to actually try.
One problem at a time, I guess.
When we had both finished lunch, I gathered up our trays again, stacking them the way Emiya had when he handed them to me, and then, after telling Marie where I was going, I left and made my way back to the cafeteria. A prickle along the skin of my prosthetic as I walked through the door of Mari's office told me Arash had returned to stand watch for me.
The cafeteria was even emptier than before, now that lunch hours had passed. There was only one other person sitting in there, nursing a cup of coffee, one of the technicians whose name I had never gotten. It started with a "K," I think, but I wasn't sure, and this wasn't the best time to be chatting it up with someone I didn't know.
Marcus, however, was there, taking over for Emiya, with a pair of thick, yellow rubber gloves on his hands as he washed the dishes. I felt a brief flash of sympathy for him as I handed over my trays and plates, because I doubted this was what he thought he'd be doing when he signed up as an engineer at the Chaldea Security Organization. From high paid technician overseeing million or even billion-dollar cutting edge equipment to dish-washer in the cafeteria, I could only imagine how he felt about it under that tired smile.
After leaving the cafeteria, I started to make my way back to Marie's office, only to stop and reconsider about halfway there. I had the urge to turn around and head towards the dorms, to check in on Ritsuka and see how things were going, as though something would have changed in the half an hour or so it had been since I last checked.
Instead, I pushed my senses into Muninn's again, peering out of her eyes and into Ritsuka's room from her perch, and my lips drew into a tight line. Nothing. No change.
I continued back to Marie's office, where I could at least feel somewhat useful by being there for her in case she had another episode.
And as the hours passed in that posh room, sitting in that cozy, plush armchair, things remained that way. People came and went from Ritsuka's room, going to get dinner, going to grab another gadget, going to take a bathroom break, or just leaving because they had nothing else to contribute. I watched it all with half of my attention, growing steadily more impatient, but unable to do anything about it.
At least "no change" also meant "nothing else has gone wrong yet." It wasn't a particularly comforting thought, but it wasn't nothing either.
By the time my eyelids were starting to droop and even Marie was yawning and rubbing at her eyes, the others had accomplished nothing except to go around in circles. Da Vinci remained just as baffled, El-Melloi II could offer nothing of substance, and Emiya had retreated back to the cafeteria, unwilling or perhaps simply forbidden from risking an unknown interaction between that Noble Phantasm he had talked about and the curse Ritsuka was under. Mash eventually had to go back to her own room to sleep, and Rika had nodded off in her chair, bent over Ritsuka's bed, completely out cold.
I hated to climb into my own bed when the crisis was still ongoing, but between the headache that had never quite gone away and the fewer hours of sleep I'd gotten the night before on account of staying up to watch a movie with everyone, I was feeling sluggish and tired and knew it would be better to sleep in my own bed than to suffer the crick in my neck that I would wake up with if I napped in that chair. So no matter how much I hated it, I bade Marie goodnight and made my way back to my room.
The only solace I had as I laid down was that Romani had said we couldn't afford to wait it out forever. Two days, that was the deadline he'd given. If nothing had changed by then, then we were going to have to start looking at more extreme options.
All I could do until then was wait and hope that Ritsuka could hold out that long.
Next — Chapter CXVIII: Château d'If
And now that the shameless plugging is out of the way...
Chapter CXVII: Wait and Hope
Unfortunately, even Emiya's gourmet food wasn't enough to distract me for very long. Between my somewhat lacking appetite and the headache that still hadn't abated, I wasn't even completely sure how much of it I really even tasted.
A shame, considering the usual quality of Emiya's meals, but maybe appropriate, given the circumstances. I think I would've felt bad if I actually got to enjoy it — it was one thing when your parents were telling you to eat your veggies because of all the kids who were starving in China and another when you were eating richly while a valued coworker and colleague was quite literally fighting for his life a few hallways away.
Marie didn't seem much better off. She ate robotically, and only about half of her tray at that, and then dove back into the paperwork piling up on her desk. Even that didn't seem to hold her attention as completely as she would have liked, because I would periodically notice her read and reread the same piece of paper several times before she realized she'd done it and moved on.
Through Muninn's eyes, perched on a shelf in the corner of Ritsuka's room, I watched Da Vinci and Romani work, more Da Vinci than anything. Romani stayed to monitor Ritsuka's vitals throughout while she flitted back and forth between there and her workshop, ferrying different devices to and fro that she used to measure only she knew what.
She didn't seem to be having any luck in any case. The near-omnipresent smile that usually graced her face had been traded out for a furrowed brow and a tight-lipped grimace, and every hour that passed seemed to only make that furrow deeper.
I think it might have been the first time I'd seen her well and truly stumped. Confused? Yes. Uncertain? Yes. But she was like Lisa, in that the instant you gave her anything to work with, even if it seemed so infinitesimally small as to be worthless, she could take it further and make leaps and bounds beyond what you might expect. It might have taken her almost two years, but she'd figured out Tinkertech, after all, and then replicated it. She'd more than earned the moniker of "unparalleled genius."
This was the first situation I could remember where she didn't have any idea at all where to start. And I think that might have been the most frightening thing of all, in all of this.
Romani seemed just as helpless, but he was diligently keeping track of Ritsuka's condition, just so he could be sure that nothing had changed for the worse. It made him seem slow and lethargic compared to Da Vinci, but that just meant that things were still going well enough that we didn't have to worry about Ritsuka's condition worsening. As long as he and Da Vinci remained calm, I could convince myself to do so, too.
Rika, meanwhile, stayed by her brother's side the entire time. I didn't see her leave even once. Even when Mash brought her food, she just stayed there, tray sat across her lap, and mechanically ate a meal that she would normally have been gushing about.
It was almost like she didn't know how to function without Ritsuka.
Like Dad. How he'd shut down after Mom's death, barely going through the motions and almost incapable of taking care of himself, let alone me. How something in him was broken beyond repair when we lost her, and he never quite managed to completely pull himself together.
Those two really loved each other, didn't they? As though I needed any more proof that they were really close and cared for one another deeply.
It was going to be really bad if he didn't make it through this.
Mash stayed, too, although not as obsessively as Rika. She watched and waited with a calm patience and serenity that gave no hint to what she must have been thinking underneath, but for the frown pulling down at the corners of her lips. Where Rika looked as though all the life had been sucked out of her, Mash remained stalwart and certain, like a knight holding vigil at her lord's side, filled with unshakeable faith that he would eventually wake up.
An appropriate comparison, if the Heroic Spirit inside of her was who I thought it was.
The only one unaccounted for was Shakespeare, at least visually. I had no doubt that he was watching the whole thing transpire in spirit form, using the unique advantages it afforded him to both stay out of the others' way and see everything as it happened from unique angles.
There were no openings for me to exploit. I watched them all patiently, waiting for the moment when there would be a chance for me to slip in before anyone could stop me — and I still wasn't even entirely sure I would pounce on it if it ever arose, when it would mean breaking Marie's trust — but even if I'd been completely determined to follow that path, the chance never materialized. Romani and Da Vinci never left at the same time, meaning there was always someone there to stop me if I were to be seized by the impulse to bully Shakespeare into putting me under with Ritsuka.
Maybe it was better that way. If the temptation didn't exist, then there was nothing for me to be tempted by, and therefore I couldn't convince myself it was worth breaking Marie's trust for the chance to save Ritsuka. It could never be anything more than an idea in my head, an idle daydream without any real substance or intent behind it.
A flash of guilt in my stomach made me look over Marie's direction. She didn't seem to notice my conflict at all, she was that consumed in what she was doing: distracting herself from the situation in the only way she knew how.
It just made me feel worse about it. Like I was taking advantage of her.
The morning passed like that in agonizing slowness, a morass of nothingness, anxiety, and guilt — guilt that I wasn't doing anything to help Ritsuka, and guilt that I was thinking of how I would go behind Marie's back to do it. I watched from the metaphorical sidelines, incensed and impotent, plagued by my inability to do anything and the knowledge of what it would cost me if I did.
Marie had driven home quite clearly what that curse could do to me, how I was especially vulnerable because of my past, and that was why we couldn't take any chances putting me under it, but in a way, I felt like I was already suffering from it. This was the stuff of my nightmares, the sort of thing I dreaded, and even though Ritsuka was the one who had been directly afflicted, it was obvious that the curse itself didn't need to have touched any of the rest of us to reach us all the same.
Lunchtime was announced by the chime of the antique grandfather clock sitting off to the other side of the office, and Marie stopped poring over her paperwork long enough to look over at it, frown, and rub tiredly at her eyes. Then, she checked her communicator for messages, as though I would have missed them, let alone her, and a moment later, her stomach rumbled.
I still wasn't really feeling in the mood for food either, but I knew better than to think it was a good idea to skip a meal, so I leveraged myself out of the chair I'd spent the last several hours in and told her, "I'll go get us some lunch."
"There hasn't been any change?"
I paused, cast my attention down Muninn's sight with more scrutiny than before, and found that the scene looked almost exactly the same as it had for the rest of the morning. The only difference was that Romani had left at some point, leaving Da Vinci to loom over Ritsuka as she examined him with yet another contraption whose purpose and function I couldn't even begin to guess.
"It doesn't look like it," I hedged, "but I'll flag down Romani and see what he has to say."
If he'd left the room in the first place, it was probably to go and get some food for himself. Given it was Romani? It was probably Da Vinci who had all but ordered him to make sure he ate so that he didn't keel over while he was supposed to be keeping an eye on Ritsuka's condition.
Marie sagged, but nodded, biting her bottom lip until it turned white. She didn't stop me as I turned to the door and left.
Arash, I began, are you there?
Always, he replied immediately.
Stay here and keep an eye on her for me, just in case, I told him. I don't want to leave her alone right now.
Got it, he said, and I felt the skin on my prosthetic arm prickle as though he had walked past me and through the door.
The halls felt emptier than usual as I made my way down to the cafeteria. They hadn't been anything close to full ever since the sabotage, but I was more keenly aware than ever of exactly how barren the entire facility had become since we'd lost so many of our people.
Because there was a very real possibility that we might lose another one very soon.
The impulse to turn around and march back to the dorms was nearly overpowering, but I mastered it and forced myself to go the rest of the way towards the cafeteria instead, and when the doors opened and I stepped inside, the place felt even more empty, despite the handful of people seated about the room and eating their own lunches.
Romani, coming back the other way with a tray of food in his hands, stopped when he saw me, blinking.
"Taylor."
I jerked my head over towards the side, and he frowned, but followed me to an empty table in the corner where no one was sitting. I didn't sit, and although he set his tray down for the moment, neither did he.
"Any change?" I asked him lowly, making sure that any eavesdroppers couldn't hear. I could feel Emiya's eyes on me, but unless he knew how to read lips — a possibility whose likelihood I realized only in hindsight — he shouldn't be able to catch our conversation.
Romani sighed heavily and seemed almost to age several years before my eyes. "No," he said quietly. "Which is kind of a good thing, if we're looking at it from that angle. We're still picking up on activity from his Magic Circuits and Da Vinci is still reading bursts of increased energy consumption from Jeanne Alter, but we're no closer to unraveling this curse than we were a few hours ago. Frankly, the part that worries me the most is that Da Vinci, of all people, is struggling with it."
Yeah. I'd had a thought like that myself not that long ago. Things always got scarier when the smartest person in the room had no idea what was going on, and it was always worse when it was also the smartest person you could think of.
"A part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and have her use her Noble Phantasm," he admitted, "but it doesn't do us much good to bring Ritsuka back if the life support functions shut off and kill us all in the process. You know?"
Because she had to fulfill the roles of something like eighty or more people at once. If I looked at it from a cold, calculated angle, the fact that she was even working to help Ritsuka was itself taking her attention away from what could be vital functions the facility needed to keep going, and the longer she spent away from her duties, the greater danger she put the rest of us in.
But if it was up to me? If we were sure enough that it would work, I think I would have had her use her Noble Phantasm to break the curse in a heartbeat. Despite the risks involved.
"I guess not," I said neutrally. "Does that mean the plan hasn't changed either?"
Romani grimaced. "For now, yes. I'm sure you've already had this conversation with the Director, but there are too many risks involved to attempt something as dangerous as sending one of you Masters in to help rescue him. That…might have to change, if this goes on for long enough without any improvements in his condition, or if something goes wrong and we need to attempt an emergency rescue."
About as I expected then. If I couldn't convince Marie to let me try and rescue Ritsuka, when she knew me as well as she did and had at least the majority of my past, then there was no way I should have ever thought I could convince Romani or Da Vinci.
"How long is long enough?" I asked calmly instead of pushing the subject.
"The way things are going right now?" Romani sighed. "I guess it's really going to start being a problem once we have to hook him up to an IV just to keep his body functioning. As much as I hate to even consider it, if things haven't improved and we're still no closer to an answer after two days, we may have to start looking at extreme solutions. No matter how much we dislike them."
Perhaps somewhat paradoxically, that actually made me feel better. That the options they had shut down earlier had never been completely taken off the table, just shelved for a last resort.
Good. It at least meant that they were still options and we hadn't just given up on Ritsuka, because I wasn't sure I could have ever looked at Romani the same way again if he had.
"I see." I looked pointedly down at his tray of food. "I'll let you get back to things, then. I came to the cafeteria to pick up lunch for the Director and myself."
Romani grimaced. "Ah. I'm sure I don't need to ask this from you of all people, but…keep an eye on her for me, would you? This has…hit close to home for all of us, after the sabotage and all, but she's in the most delicate state of all of us right now, so I have no doubt it's worse for her."
"I know. I will."
Although I thought he might have been underestimating how delicate a state Rika was in, too, considering this was happening while she was still trying to deal with the whole situation with Emiya's death and return.
Romani smiled a tight, tired smile, and then, he picked up his tray and left.
A quick glance around the room showed no one had paid us any attention, for whatever that was worth when there were so few people there to begin with, so I made my way over to the counter, where Emiya was waiting. He greeted me, grim-faced.
"Any news?" he asked.
"You didn't ask Romani?" I replied, honestly curious.
He shook his head. "I trust you more to give me a straight answer, no sugar-coating."
If that didn't say something about his faith in me…
"No change, so far," I said, "and no new information. They're still working on figuring out what's going on, so there isn't a plan for fixing it yet." I met his eyes, then deliberately glanced to the side. "Does everyone already know about what's happened?"
He frowned, then started dishing me up a tray of food. "For two," I told him. "Make one for the Director, too."
He paused for a moment, then slid my plate over, added another one, and lifted the tray up so he could stack a second beneath it. A neater solution than me trying to carry two large trays laden with food from here to Marie's office.
"The broad strokes," he said, answering my question. "It seems like the basic gist of things has managed to spread throughout the rest of the facility — only natural, considering how few people there are here — but as for the finer details, well, Mash let me know what was going on."
As I should have expected. We hadn't exactly told her that she needed to keep things a secret, so when she came here for breakfast alone and took a tray back for Rika, naturally, Emiya would have asked her what was going on, and Mash wouldn't have seen any reason not to tell him. We were all comrades, here, all colleagues, allies in the same fight, so while there would always be details that were kept private and secret as a matter of course — like my history, for example — there were just too few people left to avoid most of them coming to know about most of what happened here.
It occurred to me suddenly that Emiya himself might have a solution. After all, he had who knew how many Noble Phantasms in his Reality Marble. It was entirely possible that one of them was capable of breaking the curse on Ritsuka.
"Emiya," I began, "can you break the curse?"
He paused again, considering it, and grimaced. "Maybe," he hedged, "but I can't be entirely sure of the side effects. I do have something that can negate curses and such, but I've never encountered one like Mash described, so if that curse is broken with that particular Noble Phantasm, it might wind up leaving his soul stranded outside of his body."
My mouth snapped shut before I could even suggest anything. He'd shut me down before I could do more than open my mouth.
"I'll bring it up with Da Vinci and get her opinion on the subject," he promised. "But as for other solutions? That guy, El-Melloi II, he might have some idea, so if you track him down and tell him what's going on, he might be able to help, if only to figure out what's actually going on."
I was ready to leapt into action and go search him out right then and there — finally, a lead on how we could actually help Ritsuka in a way that no one would have any objections to — but my stomach gurgled to let me know that I was still hungry. As though to remind me that Marie still needed to eat, too, and I hadn't just gone to get food for myself.
Except I didn't have to do it myself, did I? I had people here I could rely on, allies who would help me if I just asked, so I could go and eat, and meanwhile, send someone to find El-Melloi II so I could ask him to help Da Vinci figure out what this curse was and how it worked.
"I'll ask and see what he has to say," I said.
"And I'll head on over myself as soon as lunch hours end," Emiya replied. He smirked a little and pushed the doubled tray over towards me. "Try and make sure she eats more of it this time, alright? It's no good if our Director collapses from hunger in the middle of a tense situation like this one."
A faint flicker of amusement sputtered in my belly, but died before my lips could do much more than twitch.
"Will do."
I picked up the trays, turned around, and left. The doors whooshed open to let me through, and I felt a few people glance my way, but no one stopped me or said anything about it in earshot.
As I made my way back down the hallways and towards Marie's office again, I reached out to Arash. Anything happen?
A minor episode, he reported, but she's okay now, so I don't think it was anything you need to really worry about.
And yet, I couldn't help worrying. It proved something that I had already known was true — that Marie still had trouble when I wasn't around, that she still had moments of self-doubt and weakness, still had those panic attacks that I'd had to help her through before, and she had to push through them without me. Alone, with no one to reassure her and no one to help her banish her demons.
The most recent ones likely featured Ritsuka and all of the ways she could imagine things going wrong. Waking nightmares of him — or all of us — dying, struck by an unseen enemy from an angle we had all thought ourselves protected.
But it wasn't like there was anything I could do about that. I couldn't be with her all day every day, and even if I tried, Marie herself would realize what I was doing eventually and sink deeper into self-loathing and depression. The stuff I was there for would disappear, but the ones I wasn't there for would get worse, and they would be made all the more terrible by the fact she was pushing them down and away until she was alone.
Maybe that was my karma. The world repaying me for all of the stuff I'd put Lisa through, once upon a time. That didn't mean I had to like it.
When I reached the door to Marie's office, I had to maneuver the trays around so I could put my palm up against the scanner, and then, with a beep and a hydraulic his, the door slid open. Marie looked up from whatever she was poring over as I entered, and my eyes immediately found the faint redness rimming her own and the swollen bottom lip she must have been chewing on, the locks of hair out of place from where they were before.
I made sure not to comment on them.
"Courtesy of Emiya," I told her as I strode across the room. "He's going to check in with Da Vinci to see if there's anything he could do to help once lunch is over."
To Arash, I added, I need you to go find El-Melloi II and brief him about what's been happening. See if he has any ideas for how to help.
"Help?" Marie asked, confused. "Emiya?"
Got it, said Arash. I'll head on over and bring him up to speed now, if you're okay without me?
Yes, I answered him, and then, to Marie, "His Reality Marble. I asked him if he had anything that might be able to break the curse, and he said that he wasn't sure what he did have would work the right way."
"I see," she said as she absently cleared a space for her tray. "Unlimited Blade Works… I suppose it only makes sense that something capable of replicating Noble Phantasms might have a copy of a Noble Phantasm that could be useful here. But he's not sure it would work the right way?"
"That it wouldn't leave Ritsuka's mind and soul stranded." I didn't comment as I felt the skin of my prosthetic prickle again — Arash leaving, no doubt. "From what he said, that's the only part he's not sure about."
Marie grimaced and reached for her cup of tea to take a sip. "A Noble Phantasm that can break curses… Negate them? Undo them? If it's conceptual, then it shouldn't be any trouble, but if it uses brute force… On a normal curse, it wouldn't be a problem, but this is different. It's not entirely impossible that Ritsuka could wind up…ugh, I hate that I don't have any other word for it — stranded."
"Hence why he's going to discuss it with Da Vinci before they try anything with it. Just in case."
There was always going to be an element of risk, I thought as I set the tray down and started separating out the meals. Having said that, minimizing as much of it as possible was always better than jumping in without any plans or preparation the instant we saw something that might work, but by the same token, if you spent all of your time trying to make something as risk-free as possible, then your window of opportunity might just close.
That, I suppose, was where our biggest difference of opinion laid, at least on the issue of rescuing Ritsuka. Marie didn't want there to be any further risk at all, especially to me, and it wasn't like I didn't understand why, but I was too aware to not realize that what she wanted might be impossible to even achieve.
Sometimes, there just wasn't anything you could do to make something safer.
When everything was set out, Marie immediately grabbed her utensils and dug in, brow furrowed thoughtfully as she ate on autopilot. I watched her chew — on both her thoughts and her food — as I sat down in one of those plush leather armchairs and ate my own meal, and beyond the occasional muttering that I never quite made out, she didn't say anything else.
Halfway through lunch, Arash sent me the mental equivalent of a poke, and I paused.
Yes? I asked him.
El-Melloi II's onboard, he reported. I told him what we know so far, and he's gone to help out Da Vinci and the good doctor.
At this rate, that room was going to get very crowded. Even if half of it could go into spirit form, almost everyone there was going to either be materialized for one reason or another or simply couldn't.
As much as Rika might hate it, she might have to leave to make room for everyone trying to help Ritsuka. I didn't foresee that conversation going particularly well.
Good, I replied. Come on back over here. I want you to keep an eye on the Director when I take our trays back to the cafeteria.
Understood, he said dutifully. On my way.
After swallowing my next bite, I announced, "El-Melloi II's gone to help out with Da Vinci."
Marie stopped, fork halfway to her mouth. "He has?"
"I sent Arash to tell him what's going on, to see if he might have any ideas. Get a new perspective. As brilliant as Da Vinci is, she isn't perfect, and she can't think of everything."
"I…suppose that makes sense," Marie said. She shoveled another bite into her mouth, and around her fork, continued, "Even if he himself doesn't have anything to add, Zhuge Liang might be able to provide some kind of insight, too."
Ah. So she'd finally gotten caught up to that point, had she?
"At the very least, having a fresh pair of eyes or two might help Da Vinci come up with some new ideas, too."
I wasn't really holding my breath. In the end, I thought it would almost certainly come down to the original idea — sending one of us Masters in to perform a rescue — and this whole song and dance was mostly just a long, convoluted way of finding out that we'd had the right plan from the beginning.
Who knew, though. Maybe Da Vinci really would magic up a solution — in a very literal sense — and this whole thing would be handled without me needing to do anything. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it if it did happen that way, but I guess it would be refreshing to have other people take care of the problem on their own.
We fell back into silence as we continued eating, and while I finished off another of Emiya's delicious meals, I cast my mind back down the thread connecting me to Muninn, inhabiting her senses much more fully than I had been the past while, and looked out into Ritsuka's room. Nothing much had changed. Emiya and El-Melloi II were there now, making things even more snug than they'd been when I left with Marie, but they seemed no closer to finding a solution than they had been hours ago when this whole thing started. Rika and Mash were both still there, but where Mash had stepped back to make room, Rika was squished between El-Melloi II and the wall, still clutching to Ritsuka's motionless hand like it was a lifeline.
Shakespeare was nowhere to be seen, but I had no doubts that he was still there. This was probably the most exciting thing to happen around here since he was first summoned, and there was almost no way he would have missed it.
I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that. He hadn't caused trouble yet, but that wasn't to say that he never would, and this whole incident proved exactly how disruptive he could be if he set his mind to it. I didn't much like the ideas I came up with for what he might do if he ever got bored enough to actually try.
One problem at a time, I guess.
When we had both finished lunch, I gathered up our trays again, stacking them the way Emiya had when he handed them to me, and then, after telling Marie where I was going, I left and made my way back to the cafeteria. A prickle along the skin of my prosthetic as I walked through the door of Mari's office told me Arash had returned to stand watch for me.
The cafeteria was even emptier than before, now that lunch hours had passed. There was only one other person sitting in there, nursing a cup of coffee, one of the technicians whose name I had never gotten. It started with a "K," I think, but I wasn't sure, and this wasn't the best time to be chatting it up with someone I didn't know.
Marcus, however, was there, taking over for Emiya, with a pair of thick, yellow rubber gloves on his hands as he washed the dishes. I felt a brief flash of sympathy for him as I handed over my trays and plates, because I doubted this was what he thought he'd be doing when he signed up as an engineer at the Chaldea Security Organization. From high paid technician overseeing million or even billion-dollar cutting edge equipment to dish-washer in the cafeteria, I could only imagine how he felt about it under that tired smile.
After leaving the cafeteria, I started to make my way back to Marie's office, only to stop and reconsider about halfway there. I had the urge to turn around and head towards the dorms, to check in on Ritsuka and see how things were going, as though something would have changed in the half an hour or so it had been since I last checked.
Instead, I pushed my senses into Muninn's again, peering out of her eyes and into Ritsuka's room from her perch, and my lips drew into a tight line. Nothing. No change.
I continued back to Marie's office, where I could at least feel somewhat useful by being there for her in case she had another episode.
And as the hours passed in that posh room, sitting in that cozy, plush armchair, things remained that way. People came and went from Ritsuka's room, going to get dinner, going to grab another gadget, going to take a bathroom break, or just leaving because they had nothing else to contribute. I watched it all with half of my attention, growing steadily more impatient, but unable to do anything about it.
At least "no change" also meant "nothing else has gone wrong yet." It wasn't a particularly comforting thought, but it wasn't nothing either.
By the time my eyelids were starting to droop and even Marie was yawning and rubbing at her eyes, the others had accomplished nothing except to go around in circles. Da Vinci remained just as baffled, El-Melloi II could offer nothing of substance, and Emiya had retreated back to the cafeteria, unwilling or perhaps simply forbidden from risking an unknown interaction between that Noble Phantasm he had talked about and the curse Ritsuka was under. Mash eventually had to go back to her own room to sleep, and Rika had nodded off in her chair, bent over Ritsuka's bed, completely out cold.
I hated to climb into my own bed when the crisis was still ongoing, but between the headache that had never quite gone away and the fewer hours of sleep I'd gotten the night before on account of staying up to watch a movie with everyone, I was feeling sluggish and tired and knew it would be better to sleep in my own bed than to suffer the crick in my neck that I would wake up with if I napped in that chair. So no matter how much I hated it, I bade Marie goodnight and made my way back to my room.
The only solace I had as I laid down was that Romani had said we couldn't afford to wait it out forever. Two days, that was the deadline he'd given. If nothing had changed by then, then we were going to have to start looking at more extreme options.
All I could do until then was wait and hope that Ritsuka could hold out that long.
— o.0.O.O.0.o —
In other words, the two things Taylor isn't particularly good at, and it shows.
Honestly, I don't know why Da Vinci doesn't get involved more often in canon until EoR. Like, sure, she's busy trying to keep the whole place functioning, but there are some parts where it she really should have been consulted. Like the canon Prison Tower event, where it seems like Romani handled everything and couldn't do more than throw up his hands.
But yes. Even Da Vinci can't be perfect and always have every answer.
Honestly, I don't know why Da Vinci doesn't get involved more often in canon until EoR. Like, sure, she's busy trying to keep the whole place functioning, but there are some parts where it she really should have been consulted. Like the canon Prison Tower event, where it seems like Romani handled everything and couldn't do more than throw up his hands.
But yes. Even Da Vinci can't be perfect and always have every answer.
That was... a lot of words for not a lot of story
All that happened this chapter was establishing that neither EMIYA nor El-Melloi II can help
Sidenote, but has Taylor mentioned to anyone that she's having a permanent headache while someone else in the building is being mentally attacked? She should be smart enough to figure out those things might be related
All that happened this chapter was establishing that neither EMIYA nor El-Melloi II can help
Sidenote, but has Taylor mentioned to anyone that she's having a permanent headache while someone else in the building is being mentally attacked? She should be smart enough to figure out those things might be related
James D. Fawkes
Court Scribe
- Location
- Avalon (Isle of Mists)
If you're talking about FFnet, I posted the wrong chapter, and it's taking forever to load my edit.
EDIT: I even deleted the chapter and reposted the correct one, and it's still not showing the correct chapter.
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This entire Chapter makes me feel frustrated that nothing seems to be happening, which i think is the entire point of it.
Bravo.
James D. Fawkes
Court Scribe
- Location
- Avalon (Isle of Mists)
Yes. That's why I suggested some of you might want to wait until we get to Chapter CXX. These next few chapters were written to give that same sense of frustrated impatience Taylor is feeling.This entire Chapter makes me feel frustrated that nothing seems to be happening, which i think is the entire point of it.
Bravo.
- Location
- United States
Ok, that's different. The event took place over the span of a single day. Yeah Ritsuka had a week, but it made it clear that the week in the tower is a single day in Chaldea.
The intentional frustration is commendable, but I'll say up front. I'm not a fan. It gives me Endless Eight vibes all over again.
- Location
- Dhaka, Bangladesh
Hisss Begone foul demon in the name of God. *makes warding gestures*
Yeah a big problem in serialized works and in fanfiction are the hurry up and wait chapters, which are great for establishing empathy for the frustration of the characters it can be agonizing to go week to week with no action happening, but not having it lowers the quality of the complete work.
- Location
- United States
Yeah. It's one of those moments where readers of the future will go "What were these babies complaining about?" Several chapters back to back of frustration and nothing isn't a big deal when you can Binge them back-to-back, but actually waiting week after week is grueling and easily kills interest.
I did not mention Endless Eight lightly.
at least you're not reading weekly chapters in a magazine and the author released one titled "I wasted a chapter" with literally just that chapter phrase.
Hmm. Anyone know what the prosthetic bothering her is indicative of? She's normally completely unaware of it, so it's unlike the fit just changed by itself. Just a stress response?
Apparently she can feel Servants in Spirit Form when they move close to her
That was the worst. This doesn't quite hit the level of Endless Eight though. This is intentionally slow and frustrating progress because we aren't on the scene where the action is. Endless Eight was a miserable timeloop that forced us to watch the same episode over and over and over again.
It was far worse than that when it was airing, because due to having weekly episodes, it meant everyone was huffing copium that the next week would surely be the end of the arc and surely they wouldn't be crazy enough to do a full eight episodes of it. So yeah, it's a worthy comparison here, literally fucknothing happened this chapter when there's plenty she could be doing instead of moping (training literally anything never), and the same is probably true for the next few chapters.
I still get the continued feeling this is going in the direction of rationalizing that Taylor shouldn't be an active agent in her own fate and she should feel bad for wanting to do anything or be useful in any way shape or form, or even exert her own agency or will at all to do anything but twiddle her fingers. God, I just detest how insanely passive this Taylor is in every way, shape and form. She acts far more like her bullied pre-Skitter self, aside from when she's in combat, than the actual post-GM Taylor that's experienced, seasoned, jaded and even ruthless, and it honestly shows with her nonexistent self-improvement, continued passivity, learned helplessness, general uselessness, and lack of independece or decisiveness. Sure, a couple years with Olga softened her a bit, but it shouldn't be to the point where she's basically pre-Skitter in terms of personality and action.
Do something. Train, learn, exercise, prepare, plan for the future, breed bugs, try to come up with a solution, or, hell, try to save Ritsuka anyway because when the hell did mere orders ever stop Taylor from doing what she believed is right, even if it meant immense risk to herself? Be proactive.
Ryuugi has the best summary of Taylor and why post-GM her really shouldn't be acting like this, even if it has been a couple years and she's mellowed out a bit, especially since Olga's orders, despite the intent, still hammers similar problems she had on Bet.
Ryuugi said:
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- Location
- Philippines
Honestly I'm less unhappy about the part where nothing is happening and more the part where for an arc that's supposed to be about Ritsuka, we've only seen him in the introduction of the arc so far. This is basically the equivalent of giving a character a chance in the spotlight and then pointing the camera at the backstage.
I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing Ritsuka's frustration as we peek into one of breaks in between the Chateau's trials, even if ultimately it amounts to no plot progression. But it's been what, three chapters since the start of this event and we've seen nothing for it but more Taylor angsting again about something she can ultimately do nothing about?
I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing Ritsuka's frustration as we peek into one of breaks in between the Chateau's trials, even if ultimately it amounts to no plot progression. But it's been what, three chapters since the start of this event and we've seen nothing for it but more Taylor angsting again about something she can ultimately do nothing about?
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- Pronouns
- They/Them/Their
Agreed. It makes sense, much as it's frustrating, for nothing of note to really be happening. And complaining that Taylor has spent the hours immediately after discovering that her teammate is under a curse keeping an eye on the situation is... eh. I mean, I'm fairly used to the sensation of helplessness where I would love to be doing something somewhere else, except there is something going on that I either have to or feel the need to pay active attention to. Happens biweekly at a minimum for several hours at a time, and it's incredibly frustrating. I'm just accustomed to finding something I can do that lets me keep an eye on whatever it is that's going on.
Like Romani said though, no news about Ritsuka's condition is still good news for the moment. I'm looking forward to... well, either Ritsuka's POV inside the curse or something happening. The chapter was good for conveying that sense of tension, if nothing else, but the knowledge that we're looking at two more chapters (CXVIII and CXIX) of hurry-up-and-wait is not exactly encouraging for the pacing.
Like Romani said though, no news about Ritsuka's condition is still good news for the moment. I'm looking forward to... well, either Ritsuka's POV inside the curse or something happening. The chapter was good for conveying that sense of tension, if nothing else, but the knowledge that we're looking at two more chapters (CXVIII and CXIX) of hurry-up-and-wait is not exactly encouraging for the pacing.
- Location
- Philippines
It's obvious it's not about Ritsuka at all at this point.
You know, I was thinking about it, but, by all accounts Taylor is not the kind of person that'd be able to resolve the Grand Order. For all her competence, ruthless pragmatism and escalation, she's too much a control freak and bundle of issues to defeat Goetia at the end point.
Case in point, Taylor hears that the first option is "ripping out Ritsuka's soul", and was fine with doing it, Tattletale herself pointed out that Taylor's shit at actual diplomacy, she makes sure to trap people between a firing squad and her choice, ultimate "my way, and no way else" kind of person. A great chance of maiming and rotting pieces of Ritsuka's soul is an acceptable result for her because it leaves her in control.
Guess that's why the twins weren't killed off in the explosion.
Taylor at the Temple of Time will just reenact Khepri with a zerg rush of Heroic Spirits, Mash's sacrifice (if it could even happen if Taylor was the only Master), would just be compartmentalized as another casualty and to continue the mission.
She'd just see Goetia as the another unstoppable eldritch being as Scion, and the only thing she could think up was a zerg rush, and unlike Scion, Goetia doesn't have a convenient weakness to psychological bullying.
You know, I was thinking about it, but, by all accounts Taylor is not the kind of person that'd be able to resolve the Grand Order. For all her competence, ruthless pragmatism and escalation, she's too much a control freak and bundle of issues to defeat Goetia at the end point.
Case in point, Taylor hears that the first option is "ripping out Ritsuka's soul", and was fine with doing it, Tattletale herself pointed out that Taylor's shit at actual diplomacy, she makes sure to trap people between a firing squad and her choice, ultimate "my way, and no way else" kind of person. A great chance of maiming and rotting pieces of Ritsuka's soul is an acceptable result for her because it leaves her in control.
Guess that's why the twins weren't killed off in the explosion.
Taylor at the Temple of Time will just reenact Khepri with a zerg rush of Heroic Spirits, Mash's sacrifice (if it could even happen if Taylor was the only Master), would just be compartmentalized as another casualty and to continue the mission.
She'd just see Goetia as the another unstoppable eldritch being as Scion, and the only thing she could think up was a zerg rush, and unlike Scion, Goetia doesn't have a convenient weakness to psychological bullying.
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James D. Fawkes
Court Scribe
- Location
- Avalon (Isle of Mists)
Here's the problem with Ryuugi's take there, though. Or at least with applying it to a crossover like this:
FGO spits on it.
Worm was a world where all of Taylor's worst impulses and worst decisions were rewarded, where it was better and things only worked out when she brute-forced her way through everything and put people in positions where there wasn't any other choice than to do things her way. The world was saved by her becoming a tyrant and mind controlling everyone.
FGO, or at least part one of FGO, is a setting where that will see the world ending, because it very much is the power of friendship that gets everyone all the way to the end and sets things up for Ritsuka to save the day. Without it, they don't even really make it past Orléans, let alone the Time Temple and the army of Demon Pillars. They would fail before the starting line, in fact, because without it, Ritsuka doesn't go down to the Rayshift Chamber and stay with Mash, so Mash doesn't have a Master in Fuyuki and Cas Cu probably lurks instead of joining up with them. Mash and Olga die to the first Shadow Servant they come across, or if they manage to make it that far by some ridiculous miracle, to Saber Alter in the Grail Chamber.
As much as it's written like a seinen, Fate is a shounen at heart, with moments of grim reality sprinkled throughout.
It's the power of friendship that is staying Taylor's hand here. Because Olga spent two years helping her, trusting her, believing in her, and refusing to let her fail, and Taylor got to have a peek behind the curtain at all of Olga's worries, insecurities, and neuroses. Olga has consistently shown Taylor trust and trusted Taylor in turn, and that's not always the healthiest thing either, and it's because of that bond that Taylor is reluctant to break that trust or even really damage it.
You'll notice that Taylor has to fight the impulse anyway. Because old habits die hard, and that mindset that got reinforced so much over her career as a cape isn't an easy one to shake. But this is part of learning to fight for the chance to live instead of living for the fight: learning that she doesn't have to do everything herself, that she can trust others to act on their own without her, and that she doesn't have to shoulder every burden she happens to come across.
It's just that Taylor is stubborn and bullheaded, so it takes a lot to convince her that the world view that served her in Worm doesn't necessarily apply in Fate.
It's not like the next three chapters are just "everyone standing around doing nothing." Stuff does happen, but I can see why it might feel otherwise when we know so much more than the characters do. Everyone playing detective and trying to figure out what's going on probably won't feel very impactful when they're mostly throwing around ideas that you, as the audience, already know or know is wrong.
I'm thinking about how I can mitigate these frustrations. It might just be better to drop the next several chapters two-by-two until we hit Chapter 122 (CXXII) and maybe take an extra week off in December, so that I'm not cutting into the buffer too much. It makes me nervous when I do that. Probably an artifact of the mess that happened midway through AEoSaS.
It's really, really slow, so it might have wound up too subtle, but if you read through the whole thing in one go, you might notice that learning to connect with the twins is part of what's helping Taylor grow out of that mindset. She's still got a ways to go yet, and as the breaks between Singularities grow larger and longer, she should start making bigger strides, but she's getting there.
deathofrats0808
Don’t think of it as dying; just as leaving early
- Location
- Earth
No? Taylor keeps wanting to get involved herself, even though it's at huge risk to her, which is why Marie and everyone won't let her (or Rika) try it. The closest to this is maybe what EMIYA was offering, but she didn't seem more interested in that solution than just jumping in herself.
- Location
- Philippines
My mistake then, to be precise the first alternative presented.
Taylor knew convincing Marie to let her in wasn't gonna pan out, but the moment she heard Emiya's possible solution she was going for it, she only stopped herself because she knew Emiya wouldn't risk it, not because she wasn't willing to risk Ritsuka's soul being ripped out and undergoing degradation
I kinda wanna see an omake of what-if where the twins died and Taylor had to do the Grand Order herself and subsequently fails to grow enough to be the kind of person that can defeat Goetia,
My money's on a party wipe by London like every Crypter except for Daybit and Wodime, or her chaffing under Gilgamesh too much that they die to Tiamat
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- Location
- Philippines
Ultimately though, what does the past three chapters really do though? Indeed, they do establish the emotional states and the panic of the rest of Chaldea as Ritsuka undergoes through this trial... except, it didn't have to be three chapters just to achieve that same goal. If the goal was to really just frustrate the readers over the lack of progress in an attempt to force sympathy over the same frustration the characters are feeling, then congratulations - goal achieved. But I wouldn't say that it had been a good idea considering it has you scrambling to mitigate said frustration in the end.
For me though, I just really want to get things over with and to see Ritsuka's viewpoint. Previous comments have already pointed out that of the twins, Ritsuka's had the most two-bit role among the Masters so far - Rika plays the much-needed comedy and she has already had an arc of her own where she learns the loss and responsibility of being a Master, and of course, Taylor is Taylor being the protagonist of the crossover. If this is indeed his arc, then why is it that there's so much focus over Taylor wanting to be in the fight even to her own detriment (which is ironic, considering this is Ritsuka's arc), and her running commentary over everyone else's reactions? For that last one, honestly Mash or Rika would've functioned better anyway in terms of perspective since they are the people most affected by Ritsuka's absence in the first place.
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James D. Fawkes
Court Scribe
- Location
- Avalon (Isle of Mists)
I can't really answer that without spoiling things. Like, spoiling things for stuff I haven't even written yet.
I will say, the Prison Tower event was never the sum of Ritsuka's arc or even really that big a chunk of it. That's why I didn't intend for it to be shown. The interest in it, however, has me thinking that maybe I should show at least parts of it, even if it's only 1-2K word chunks in sidestories.
deathofrats0808
Don’t think of it as dying; just as leaving early
- Location
- Earth
Where'd you get the idea that she was willing to go for it if she thought EMIYA would be up for it? THe chapter doesn't really indicate that to me. And she ju,ps at being able to do something. Which is a very normal thing in this kind of situation.