Harry Potter and the Skittering Spouse

*shrugs* we'll all find out together.

Fans of the series who grew up to be psychologists have weighed in on Dumbledore a lot. The general thing they tend to agree on is Dumbledore has some level of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, its a response to the excessive levels of parental abuse and neglect as a child. It's also a response to emotional injuries, such as overwhelming shame (Gellert), or loss (Father, Sister).

Basically if you take Lockhart, and age him up, you have Dumbledore. Someone who has spent the last 60 years being told how amazing he is DAILY. Now he is old, and while he knows he doesn't know what he is doing, he is too old and set in his way to ever admit it.
 
The anthropologists that grew out of HP fans should be examining why an entire secret society started cursing using Merlin's body parts.
 
The anthropologists that grew out of HP fans should be examining why an entire secret society started cursing using Merlin's body parts.
That's an easy one isn't it? Hero worship turned near deification? It's like a catholic yelling Jesus Christ. Or an ancient Greek cursing Zeus's dick when their fiancée gets pregnant and they know it's not theirs.
 
"What's a taboo?" I asked, nonplussed. Sure, we didn't need to be getting sidetracked right now but if she thought it might get me killed…

"It's a curse on a word. It lets him know when and where anyone uses his name. In the last war anyone who used it was calling down Death Eaters to attack them. It's why everyone's afraid of his name… didn't anyone ever tell you?" She asked.
Meanwhile, Taylor is thinking, "This is the perfect setup for luring his minions in for an ambush, and he's just gonna give it to me? Best. Gift. Ever."
 
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Are all of Hell's Harry's Angels going to be wearing superhero costumes to protect identities and their families from retaliation? Preferably dark colored and/or color changing to make aiming spells at them more difficult?

Their costumes could go with an animal theme. Taylor is an acromantula. Harry is a grim. Ron is a red kitsune (fox). Hermione is a barn owl. Neville is a black lion. Luna is a dark blue and silver unicorn. (Heh.)
 
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Oh no. Anyway.
Still doesn't explain why the wizards would swear by "Merlin's pants", "Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts" and "Merlin's saggy left-"
Well you see Merlin's pants were spelled to moon people he disliked and misrepresent his endowment when he was feeling attracted to someone and thus became a legend in their own right.

As for Merlin's saggy waggy? Legend has it this most magnificent knut was busted in a stream once upon a time and what do you know Merpeople happened. It's a legend man a legend.

Morgana's tits passed into legend because she's the woman who invented the corset. Not nearly as interesting a story but she wrote down the blueprints in code and it took four generations to reproduce the damn things so for four generations her assets stood out thanks to being the only ones properly supported.
 
For the sake of future discussions between the Potters and the staff, I would like to remind everyone that Harry murdered his DADA teacher in his first year and didn't even get detention for it.

Consistency is the key to discipline, after all, so dealing with the current death eater/DADA professor is entirely acceptable.

That's part of the problem.

Harry's been trained for years that the Staff are inacapable of handling any issue, and he'll have to do it himself. Stone? Chamber of Secrets? Dementors? Blood tournament?

So he rolls up to the staff and goes "Hey Draco is up to something." and Dumbledore tells him "Ahh don't worry about it, we've got it under control" that reassurance is the least credible thing he's been told in his life. Every year since he entered the Wizarding World the staff has taught him they absolutely do not have it under control. If adults want him to take them as anything other than an obstacle to work around they need to get involved, and be effective at it.

It's another 'school' problem. All the adults he talks too are school staff, who only see that he's a student and treat him like one. He's an equal, more even.

"Raise your hand if you've killed a basilisk in single combat. No? Nobody? How many times have you faced the Dark Lord in combat solo? Anybody got better than three? Nobody again? Then stop fucking patronizing me!"

So when they treat him like a student, he just sees 'adult too stupid to remember what happened last year'.

Dumbledore just goes 'you have to trust us' and twinkles his eyes, while Harry looks back at all the shit he's already been through and goes "Why?".
 
Dumbledore just goes 'you have to trust us' and twinkles his eyes, while Harry looks back at all the shit he's already been through and goes "Why?".
"Never forget Albus Severus Potter, I named you after the two men who had the most influence in my life."
"They taught you everything you knew and you carry a deep respect for them?"
"Merlin no! They both literally ruined my life. One treated me like a pawn on a board while the other openly despised me."
"But then why give me their names?"
"I lost a bet while drunk at the pub with your uncle Ron."
 
Sure, but we say "Jesus Christ!" not "Jesus's hairy tonsils!" Or "Jesus's poorly trimmed beard"
We used to.

The current use of just the name is the remnants of an older version of swearing by God's various body parts that was actively stamped out--"(By) God's bones!" for instance used to be highly popular. Religious doctrine took offense to the practice however, partially in belief that for some, God doesn't have an earthly body and this swearing by it in not binding (and also blasphemy), or alternatively, that swearing by the parts of God did damage to those parts -- swearing on His Bones would inflict either the pain of, or actual breakage of the bones of the Lord God (thus, double blasphemy).
The not taking his name in vain part is also a factor.

This led directly to increased use of 'minced oaths', where blasphemous or profane speech is substituted; 'fuck' to 'fudge', 'God' to 'Gosh/golly', and so on. Drawing even just from Wikipedia examples directly related to the point are;
- By God's Blood > 'Sblood
- God's Light > 'Slight
- God's Nails > 'Snails
- Oh God > Egad
- By God's Bodkins [nails] > Ods bodkins
- By God's Hooks > Gadzooks
 
God Blind Me! > Corblimy! > Blimy!

It's actually a rather interesting thing to study.
 
Year 5: Harry got his godfather killed (unintentionally this time), and attempted to murder Bellatrix, and he basically tried to have Umbridge killed by centaurs and I legitimately have no idea how she got out of the forest alive.
Point of order, Umbridge was not Harry attempting to murder her with centaurs. That was Hermione, don't take away one of her three attempted murders.
 
I love how we're having last year's Dumbledore discussion all over again. I'm tempted to go back 12 months and just copy/paste my comment. ^^
I tried to slow it down by pointing out my Dumbledore is a pile of character traits in a trench coat masquerading as a full character, that only encouraged them to try and sell me their interpretations. None of which feel solid enough for me to point at and declare "this is the truth!!!!"

Honestly I can be ridiculously opinionated about all things fiction but Dumbledore is such a perfect example of flawed canon encouraging fans to invent head canon. There just isn't any winning this debate as far as I can see. And trying to stop it is just…

*Shrugs* might as well let them get it out of their systems.
 
God Blind Me! > Corblimy! > Blimy!

It's actually a rather interesting thing to study.

classical french also has some interesting ones.

The first two that come to mind are
Palsambleu -- by god's blood (edit: actually any classical french swear word ending with bleu refers to god. Corbleu -- by god's heart; Morbleu -- by god's death.....)
Jarnicoton -- I deny god (actually this one is a derivative)
 
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Writing Dumbledore is always an exercise in frustration because it depends on what year you're writing in too. The first three years you can write him off as your whimsical crackpot of a grandfather that loves sweets and being a goofball. You can either continue with that character and just throw out most of canon, or go with the new character that was introduced in year five as the useless old man that did nothing while his students were tortured, or the new new character introduced in year six, the manipulative old goat retcon.

It's three different series masquerading as one.
 
The entire franchise isn't internally consistent, so pointing at one part and declaring "that's how it works" means nothing because a year later the rules have changed. Again. This is true for the characters as well which is very obvious with Dumbledore. I'm not saying changes are necessarily a bad thing since kids need to grow up but even established adult characters can switch from one personality to another at the drop of a hat.

Perhaps this is because we mostly see everything from Harry's perspective and he's not privy to the thoughts of, for example, Molly Weasley. Nor does he know what Dumbledore gets up to when he's not at Hogwarts unless he's being told.

Anyway, no matter how you write Dumbledore you will always create a new version of him because the one in canon technically doesn't exist. Unless you write him with multiple personality disorder or something like that. Honestly, that might even be interesting to explore.

Imagine if there were several minds in his head. Albus just wants to be headmaster and look after the school and its students. Percival has a need for justice, he has dedicated himself to his position as the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. Wulfric is his more martial side, he's the one who learns new spells and investigates rumors about dark lords. Last but not least, we have Brian. Brian doesn't pop up often. Brian is constantly baffled about everything and everyone outside his tiny world and has kind of missed the changes of the past ~70 years or so. In his mind, Brian is still the boy who fell in love with Grindelwald and got his little sister killed. He's filled with guilt and shame and thus tries to hide from the world. Unfortunately, whenever Dumbledore needs to make a decision regarding kids, he uses Brian to decide if things are okay or not. Students hexing each other in the corridors? One house feuding with another? Teachers being bullies? That's perfectly fine, after all things were like that when he went to school, too.

So his four personalities all have their own agendas, priorities and plans which often collide with each other. Wulfric doesn't really care much about the students, he sees them as expendable pawns and thus lays traps in the middle of a school. Percival is a bureaucrat and politician, he's so used to compromises that he often loses sight of his goals.

Which means as long as everything is fine or easily dealt with (like in the first books), Albus is at the forefront. But with Voldemort coming back into power, his other personalities become more active and interfer... ^^

I'd never write that but it's a neat idea to pick at, you know? ^^

As I mentioned a year ago, if I was ever going to write a Harry Potter fic (I do have two ideas written down somewhere), then my Dumbledore would be the villain. Mostly because I dislike incompetent "heroes".
 
hopefully his character will solidify in my mind as I'm forced to write more if him. But even if it doesn't the simplest solution is to just relegate him to the mysterious wise elder role because well he's mysterious isn't he? Not like we're meant to know what he's thinking.

*shrugs* we'll all find out together.
Fair enough.

For whatever limited worth it may be I can only offer my own best guess at rationalizing the man. Which might be useful or might not but eh, might as well.

I think the two dominant traits for Dumbledore are that he's genuinely intelligent, and genuinely intelligent enough that he fundamentally can't bring himself to trust other people being in charge. He can see too many problems with their plans. Too many ways things could all go horribly wrong.

But he's simultaneously too traumatized by his past to really trust himself in charge either. Too aware of his own failures and his own darker impulses.

So he must be in charge, because otherwise he's sure that everything will go wrong. And everyone seems to push him into that role anyway. He can't let someone else take that responsibility, they might make a terrible mistake.

And yet, he can't trust himself either, even if he has to preset a front of being confident and wise for his fellows. He "knows", deep in his bones, that if he truly followed his instincts that he would wind up like his old friend, committing monstrous atrocity in the name of necessity. He might make a terrible mistake.

So he leads passively, seeking out the 'plans' which involve the least action, the least change. He can't trust himself to do more, and can't trust anyone else to do much at all. So that's all that's left. Perhaps it's not the best plan, and he's probably intelligent enough to realize that, deep in his soul. But it's the plan he can bear to follow, that has the least risk of sending him tumbling into the abyss he fears so very much.
 
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