Goddamn Teenagers (Worm, AU/time travel)

[Impel]

Brian looked about, awkwardly adjusting the ascot that Alec had given him (for some reason), and then coughed into his hand as the people gathered around the poorly bound businessman, who was wearing a pointed white hood (for some reason). Nearby the rest of the Undersiders stood in the conference room, the rope to an elaborate pulley system still half-clutched in Lisa's hand, having dropped the mess of rope onto Anders when he chased them into the room. The blonde tugged at the cuff of her orange sweater after letting it go before whispering something in Bitch's ear.

"Well, gang, the... the 'business ghost' gave us quite a chase through this old, abandoned mead hall, but we finally caught him! Now to see who he really is..!" Brian declared, reaching forward to tug at the cloth on supervillain's face, which he wore in lieu of his armor (for some reason). It came off easily, to reveal-

"Old Man Anders?" Gasped literally everyone.

Max, you're required to say, "I'd have been alright, if it wasn't for those pesky kids! And their dog(s)!".

Click to shrink...

*cough*Ozymandias *cough* "And this too shall pass..."

Click to shrink...

Bitch straightened up from where she'd been slouching against the wall, her rumpled green shirt hanging from her shoulders, crumbs from the overly massive sandwich she'd enjoyed during their stakeout of the building falling to the carpet, and said in a halting, stilted voice, "Like, man, get away with it? We did it thirty minutes ago." Then she turned to the blonde beside her, Lisa adjusting her glasses while Max was marched past them. "Alright, I said it, now where's my ten fucking dollars?" Rachel asked.

"You little bitches!" Max shouted as the policemen (for some reason), led him away, struggling in his hand cuffs (for some reason).

Alec looked up from his nails, waving goodbye to the ranting millionaire, and twirled to face the rest of his former gang members, purple skirt and orange wig flaring, "Well guys, it looks like his Empire's crumbling, huh?"

Everyone, including, the policemen as the elevator doors finished closing, laughed. The Great Dane Rachel had brought with her let out a bark, and peed on the carpet.

 

[dc2008]

The teen boy looked aged beyond his years. He walked carefully, aware of his surroundings, and formally and precisely sat down opposite Lisa.

Lisa gestured to the contents of the table. "Have a snack, a drink something."

The boy, obligingly, poured himself a glass of water and touched it to his lips.

Lisa sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry about all this. She means well but, uh, she's really bad at comforting."

The boy looked at Lisa impassively. "OK, OK, try a different tack. I'm Lisa. I live in the Bay. Ask me whatever... Oh, no that won't work, you've lived there longer."

"As you say," the boy said politely. "How can I help you?"

"No, no," Lisa said, shaking her head, before shrugging elaborately. "I could show you... no, that would scare you."

The boy touched the glass to his lips again.

"OK," Lisa tried again, "so you might be able to go home soon. Your dad has been playing fuck around with, like, the whole federal soup, and he's coming up on the find out part."

"Oh?"

"Yep! See, a whole bunch of stuff happened, like the thing where some cops got shot by the Empire, I assume by accident, or when Krieg, well, probably Kreig, anyway his car blew up and then he tried to firebomb his house with cops in it, anyway Medhall got put under lots of scrutiny and your dad kind of I think lost the line between what is OK and what is not, so, yeah, Max Anders, especially after the Gesellschaft Master thing, he has also been flagged as a potential Master victim if not a Master himself, and..." Lisa trailed off, seeing the boy's baffled expression. She sighed. "Maybe I could get you some newspapers?"

---

Note: So it turns your fantastic success with the mystery parahuman who turned out to be your friend GSG is not, in fact, a good starting point in befriending and comforting Theo Anders, who you've never interacted with and thinks this is all an elaborate stunt...

Also, I haven't decided yet if Theo is going to trigger (or already has), and if so, how his power would manifest...

 

[dc2008]

"You cannot be serious," Emily said flatly.

Renick sighed. "As she has emphasized, Mrs. Herren has been extraordinarily cooperative, and useful, both in the Fleischer scenario, and otherwise."

"She wants a 'soft landing'," Emily summarized. "For Rune, wherever she is, as well as the Valkyrie twins."

"Apparently, they are 'family'."

"I hate these inbred rural politics. Fine, ENE will provisionally support CI spite grandma's 'soft landings', but we are doing it on our terms. The Chief Director and Tagg have been working on a 'public service in lieu of serving time' pilot program, as a replacement for the old rebrand reshuffle. Sounds we got us some candidates."

Emily sighed, before continuing. "Even then, the girls need to come in quietly. If we bring them in ourselves, or they resist, deal is off. Add whatever additional conditions you think we can make her swallow, and do the write up."

Renick flipped to the next page in his notes. "She had some other requests as well, on the unpowered side."

Seeing his expression, Emily swore. "More clemency requests?"

Renick nodded, "Yes, and a few people she specifically wants us to hammer."

"She is using us to clear out her rivals in the Clans," Emily observed. It was not a question.

"Absolutely."

Emily took a deep breath, held it, then let it out. "Work with Legal to parse what is ours and what runs through other agencies," she replied. "Fob off as much of this as we can. We won't let her weaponize us. Still, I expect there will be some balance that gives her some of what she wants while clearing cold cases and bringing in some truly awful pieces of shit." Emily gestured to Renick, "You have better contacts for that sort of thing, give her as little as we can get away with, but damn her, she knows we can't reject this out of hand."

Renick nodded. "I'll make some calls."

---

Note: CI Spite Grandma knows has been playing this game longer than Emily has been alive.

Think I've mentioned this before, but I'm going with Renick having come up through the investigative/agency side, rather than a strike team role. That's why he has better contacts across the alphabet soup agencies.

As to the pilot program, Tagg is supporting it because he does not like giving sweetheart deals to criminals, while Kamil is supporting it to better give justice to victims.

 

[dc2008]

"Taylor," Amy asked slowly, "what did you discuss with my cousin and his idiot friend?" Amy had cornered the taller girl before lunch, in the hopes of figuring out... whatever the fuck rumors were going around now.

"Hmm?" Taylor replied, looking up from her book. "Oh, someone said something about how he was walking funny, but you were too busy making fun of him to do anything about it."

"True," Amy conceded, "that is a thing that happened. What else?"

"Ummm, I offered to send him some exercises he could do, and pointed out that he could get help from his parents or sister if needed?"

"OK, that one is news to me, we'll come back to that. What else?"

"Oh! I commented that while he wasn't lacking enthusiasm, he just didn't have the stamina to keep up with me and Aisha. What with all the time Aisha and I have spent. Then his friend was being a little shit for some reason, and I pointed out that at least Eric had the balls to try, unlike him, which shut him up nicely."

Amy boggled at the sheer... Taylor of it all. "Did you consider," she began slowly, "how all that might sound to someone without context?"

"What, that we were working out?"

"You know what, fuck it, let's go to lunch. I'm going to make Dennis explain this one. Fortunately, Eric is too busy being mortified to make it worse. Although Brian not going to school might be all that saves one of these idiots from getting put through a wall."

---

Note: Oh, Taylor and her monomaniacal focus

 

[dc2008]

"… and my uncle and dad sat me down all serious like and asked about her," Dinah said excitedly, "then said we didn't have to worry because she wouldn't be back!"

The three girls were huddled outside before school, talking furtively.

"Fuck yeah, we rock!" Missy replied. "I can't wait to tell—"

"—No," Aisha interrupted seriously. "You can't tell anyone."

"Why not?" Dinah asked. "We did totally get her gone!"

"Uh-uh. The PRT got her gone. Or the school or your uncle or whatever. We're just dumb kids who don't get noticed."

Seeing the expressions of Missy and Dinah, Aisha rolled her eyes. "It's like with mom boyfriends, you catch them doing something that gets them in trouble, you even see them fuck up, you go 'not be noticed'."

"But why?" Missy asked. "We even got Lisa to be helpful, that's not easy!"

"We are girls and little and some of these fuckers were friends with Bitchy McGone. They're going to be looking to get someone and I don't want it to be me."

"But if you do get noticed, don't forget your buttons," Aisha concluded, pointing to a button on her shirt that said "WELL I'M RECORDING YOU TOO HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!"

The other girls nodded.

 

[dc2008]

"I am told," Max said with exaggerated politeness, "that you will have an important proposition."

Victor, at least, had been apologetic in delivering the message, but it would be a long time before Max forgot being all but ordered to meet with this slovenly lawyer from the Elite.

And slovenly he was. Max had never seen such an expensive suit look so bad. Between the garish lining, tacky cuff-links (with matching tie pin), eye-catching handkerchief and borderline obscene tie, the man's appearance and comportment could only be a calculated insult.

His nose too, the man had to be a yid.

The man carefully and deliberately placed on Max's desk a device which Max recognized as an extravagantly expensive Toybox anti-eavesdropping tool. Seemingly satisfied, the man leaned forward. "It's like this," he said, in a thick New York accent. "Capes, I don't worry about capes, I'm a businessman. Investigations, audits, the odd settlement, it's all a cost of doing business."

The man gave Max a significant look. Max returned a blank expression.

Undeterred, the man continued, "Even then, there are lines. Red lines. Challenges that get the Feds all riled up, things that are less career impediments and more sharp, sudden stops. For all, that is, but the most savvy of businessmen."

Max, with difficulty, resisted the temptation to glance at his watch. The sooner the man finished, the sooner Max could be doing something, anything else.

"Now," the man said, still talking. "I'm going to play a recording for you, and then let's you and me talk about just how savvy a businessman you are."

 

[dc2008]

Relevant earlier chapters: Fading Star, Part 4 and Fading Star, Part 5

---

"... you understand," the recording concluded.

Max scoffed. "Even if that wasn't a fake, it wouldn't be admissible, and even if it was, none of that is illegal."

The disheveled man leaned back and regarded Max clinically. "How quaint. We both know that actually complying with all applicable rules and regulations is not possible, not at the level we operate. Once they have the will to act, once they're in, they will find enough. Even if they have to plant it."

The man grinned. "No, it's a matter of will. Listening to this?" The man gestured expansively. "Will isn't a problem." His face took on a predatory expression. "Nor is evidence, no, not after what they found when they started unraveling the threads left behind by Fleischer. The only reason they haven't moved already is pissing matches over who gets to bring you in."

Max rolled his eyes, and barked out a laugh. "So you say, but others have said the same. I'm still here."

"Fleischer kept surprisingly meticulous records," the man retorted. "It seems Max Anders has been a naughty boy. Arms running, money laundering, human trafficking, even murder of federal agents. It seems he was deeply, deeply involved with some very nasty business."

"I find myself tiring of this farce," Max bit out.

Now the other man rolled his eyes. "Call whoever you like, but watch your words and don't leave the building, lest you become some baby fed's big break."

 

[dc2008]

"What exactly," Max ground out, "are you offering?"

The other man's smile was distinctly predatory. "Full cooperation. Everything you know, all of your contacts and records, about the Germans, the clans, the company, the Empire--"

"--There are rules!" Max hissed.

The man chuckled. "So there are, but no one here is talking about capes. You see one, we might have a deal for them too. No, right now we're talking about Max Anders and what he knows, who he knows."

"And then?"

The man shrugged. "We don't want your houses or your cars or your money, whatever you can get out from under the Feds is yours. We'll get you papers, transport out of the country. We don't want your life, martyrs are so inconvenient. You leave tonight, and go on your way. No lengthy interviews, no thumbscrews, just a few hours in Cranial's care to get the engram."

"The Feds can offer me that, and more."

"I haven't told you the best part yet," the man replied conversationally. "Some very smart people have dug into your record, really dug. They're concerned that you aren't now the man you once were. They've plotted it, graphed it, run the numbers."

"What are you talking about?" Where was this going?

"Do I have to spell it out, after Fleischer? They think you've been mastered, are the master, or can't rule it out which is just as bad. Gloves are off, the second you blink funny, or show any sign of a parahuman power, they go lethal."

Max felt the blood drain out of his face. He wanted to object, to say it wasn't him, he was Kaiser not some filthy master. But... could he be sure, really sure, that Gesellschaft hadn't gotten to him too? Victor would have surely noticed, if he was affected, wouldn't he? Would he? After what Fleischer had done, had almost done, while drugged and half crippled?

---

Note: Cranial's ability to pull engram shenanigans referenced previously in Not Quite Valhalla, Part 2.

 

[dc2008]

Max slowly drifted toward wakefulness. He remembered the lawyer, remembered his contacts dodging his calls or giving answers that were cryptic at best. He remembered the frantic departure, the confusing scanning procedure performed by Cranial, and then...

"Where am I?" Max asked, or tried to. He couldn't be sure the words came out right, couldn't be sure of anything. He tried to open his eyes, but seemed to be in a room so dark as... was this a sensory deprivation tank?

"Good morning, Mr. Anders," a distant voice said. Max couldn't quite place the accent, and when he tried, he found the details slipping away.

"What did you do to me! We had an agreement!"

"Nothing more than what was consented to," the voice replied. Max did remember, vaguely, Cranial emphasizing the importance of consent, that was important somehow to some procedure, but he'd been focused on other things...

"You said I would be free to go!"

"Max Anders is living comfortable in exile. You are not he, however. You are an engram, a copy, tragically unstable over any appreciable period of time but sufficient for our purposes. After all, Mr. Anders, you are not the master copy."

Max felt that he should feel a growing sense of dread, but instead felt only a hollow emptiness.

"Now let us begin," the voice continued. "We have only so long before this engram irreparably degrades..."

---

Alternate title: Uh-oh Basilisk

 

[dc2008]

"OK," Lisa said to the terrified boy. "I've got you newspapers. I'm working on getting you a TV feed to Bet. And speaking of newspapers I have good news!" Lisa fished around in the stack of papers until she found the most recent one. "Your dad's company got raided!"

The boy looked unimpressed. "This is not the first time Medhall has been raided, and that hasn't stopped him before."

"No, no, it wasn't just the company, it's him too! There's a warrant out for him! He fled the country, fugitive from justice, the whole thing."

"He'll be back." The boy said with certainty. "He always dodges responsibility."

"Maybe before," Lisa said in as peppy a tone as she could muster. "But I don't think so, not this time. He's made a lot of enemies, including a lot of people who used to be allies."

"And what about," the boy asked tentatively, "ah, the Empire?"

"Oh," Lisa replied with a grin, "they're fucked. 'Kaiser' has disappeared, the twins cut a deal with the PRT and, well, that's that. All the other capes were already gone. The unpowered types are going to ground, cutting deals, or fleeing the city."

"Uh-huh." The boy still sounded unconvinced. Still worried this is all a trick.

No shit.

Lisa sighed. "I know, I know, we have a long way to go before you trust us. But I am trying to help, you might even be able to go home soon! Or back to Bet!" He still looked unconvinced, so Lisa tried again. "Or at least be done with this whole witness protection thing?"

---

Note: Lisa tries and she tries, but she's still a peppy blonde trying to convince Theo that he can totally trust her. Not an easy sell.