Goddamn Teenagers (Worm, AU/time travel)

[dc2008]

The little cluster of trainees went quiet as Rachel entered the room.

She walked up to them and said, without preamble, "You were fighting the Nazis."

There was a pause, and then Cassie straightened her shoulders and nodded. Yes."

"I want in."

Cassie sighed. She was glad she had discussed this possibility with Dr. Weaver. "You do more good staying out of it."

"Bullshit."

"You show up, Hookwolf shows up, and the fight gets bigger. You could get hurt."

"I can handle it."

"The dogs might get hurt."

"Hookwolf is hurting dogs now."

"The dogs here might get hurt."

Rachel stiffened. "You think they'd come here?"

"If they thought you were involved?" Wafa said. "Yes."

The trainees nodded.

Rachel punched the wall. "I don't like it. I can take care of myself."

Cassie resisted her impulse to reassure Rachel that they were afraid she would get hurt. Dr. Weaver and Wafa had both been very sure that argument wouldn't work on Rachel. Instead, Cassie tried a different approach. "Yes you can. But you can take care of the dogs better than any of us, and there's only one of you. There are more of us."

Rachel scowled.

This will take a while.

 

[dc2008]

"The Families," Victor said, "are tending toward accepting your apology and explanation."

Max and Victor both ignored the impatient snort from James.

"The police?" Max asked.

There was a pause. "There," Victor said, "we might have a problem."

"Oh, for fucks sake, what now?" Brad asked impatiently.

"The price has gone up, significantly."

"What price?" James asked shortly. "Weregild was paid, no?"

"You aren't this stupid," Brad said.

"Watch your tone," James snapped back.

"Enough," Max stated firmly, meeting each man's eyes in turn. He looked back to Victor. "Explain."

"The Merchants are gone, the dragon lies low. When they do attack, it is targeted, infrequent, surgical." Victor paused then, seeing the look on Brad's face, continued, "in short, the lessers persist in their perfidy, but do so quietly."

"While we have had multiple clashes in the past week," Max continued. "With multiple fatalities. No more officers, but any more than Lung is too many. We're the problem now." He smiled without mirth. "This is, always, the election to consider."

"So get Lung to smash something," Brad scoffed.

"That only works if he is seen as starting it," Victor cautioned.

"That,"Krieg said slowly, "can be arranged."

---

Note: Sorry, Brad, Krieg is in fact that stupid.

Also, recall that they're down Rune, Purity and with her gone, presumably Night and Fog. While Coil is up a handful of cauldron capes (although he's kept that pretty much under wraps).

 

[dc2008]

Note: This one didn't split neatly, so have a double-length post. Numbering aside, this is technically #299 (since there was that one time I had to double-post since part of the scene fell off). Later today, to celebrate 300, we'll have another snippet, of indeterminate canonicity, featuring "uptime" shenanigans.

---

"Thank you for coming in," Dr. Weaver said cordially, as she waved Lady Photon and Brandish into the conference room. Both wore civilian attire, but as the subject related to their parahuman personas, there were formalities to be observed.

After concluding the usual pleasantries, Brandish shifted to more serious matters. "I understand there is an issue with Amy's protective detail?"

Dr. Weaver regarded Brandish carefully. "Certain of the security measures put in place for your daughter Amy utilized techniques dependent on Cauldron capabilities."

Brandish scowled, but Dr. Weaver did not give her a chance to interrupt. Revelation of the whole Cauldron... thing was being carefully managed by Glenn, and Dr. Weaver wasn't sure if she could keep track of what was and was not public at any given time.

"Valkyrie I has, as part of a broader package, agreed to continue making these protective measures available to select individuals, Amy included, along with certain additional capabilities not previously available to us for select individuals, of which Amy is one."

Brandish's expression darkened even further.

Dr. Weaver continued nonetheless, "There is a related, but entirely separate, matter to discuss, which is a program Valkyrie is establishing to provide protection for," Dr. Weaver made a show of checking her notes, "'qualifying Fae and their hosts', Amy being one such host. In certain circumstances, measures are being extended to select family members and close associates of such 'hosts', in this case yourselves and your families being included. This will include certain safewords and other emergency procedures which you will be briefed on, as well as a standing offer to immigrate to Valkyrie's demesne."

Lady Photon blinked in surprise. "The Fairy--Valkyrie wants us to immigrate?"

Dr. Weaver wiggled her hand. "Not quite. Valkyrie's offer is extended to the host of the specific Fae--Amy in the case--and should the offer be accepted by the primary beneficiary, family members would have the option of accompanying the host at the host's election--that being you and your families."

Brandish leaned forward. "What, exactly, is Valkyrie's interest in my daughter. And her, Fae, was it?"

---

Note: Today, we will see just how much bullshit we can load on Brandish before she pops.

 

[dc2008]

Note: This happens in the same continuity as the last one of these I did, although I'm not sure yet whether it will be canon for the "main" story.

---

"No playing with strange tinkertech," Imp said.

Lisa didn't jump. She had thought she was alone in the room, until Imp's comment caused her to notice the other woman's presence. "I'm pretty sure I've got it figured out! Defiant agreed!"

"Yeah, nope, wasn't born yesterday." The intended effect of Imp's mask was ruined by the accompanying branded sweats. Getting team-branded merch was either the best idea they'd had post GM, or the worst, Lisa still wasn't sure.

"You must have something better to do than follow me around," Lisa grumbled as she handed over the tinkertech. She had learned, long ago, that with Imp it was easier to go along lest her toys simply disappear from her hands. At least, until Imp got distracted. Then Lisa could try again.

"I do. I had one of the kids keeping an eye on you."

Lisa's eyes snapped around the room, looking for the tattler.

Imp rolled her eyes. "You already missed them, and no I won't tell you who."

"Dragon should never have given you those anti-thinker things."

"No, I think she should have given them to me earlier, it would have avoided so much trouble, like that time you and Ashley--"

"--no need to go over that again, thank you! I don't know why you act like I need a babysitter! I'm a grown woman!"

"Yes you are," Imp said, without even having the courtesy to be patronizing about it. "You are also, what did Yamada say? Dangerously codependent and prone to ill-conceived actions when separated from Taylor for prolonged periods."

"Look, just because that one time--"

"It absolutely was not one time, and there is nothing 'just' about that cluster-fuck."

 

[dc2008]

"Strictly speaking," Dr. Weaver said slowly, as Carol scowled, "it is less your daughter that interests Valkyrie, and more your daughter's power. Valkyrie sees her as, well not a peer, but having the potential to become a peer? Rather like how the governor of New York State is on some level more important than the governor of Minnesota, but they're still both governors and certain formalities and etiquette are observed?"

"So, what, she's trying to bribe Amy's power into defecting!?"

Elsewhere

"What is it?" Taylor asked, peering over her father's shoulder.

"It's for the cat," Danny said as he extracted…something from the box. "It's a collar with a tracker and camera on it."

"He's already chipped, and I'm pretty sure the portal guy would help us find him if he vanished."

"Don't you want to know what he gets up to?"

"Sure," Taylor shrugged, "but not enough to try to out that on him. He hates being picked up or confined. Remember that time you accidentally shut the door to my room, before we put in the little flap?" She shook her head emphatically. "Not tempting that buzzsaw."

"How hard can it be? I'll get my work gloves."

Shortly thereafter

"MOTHER—" Danny exclaimed, as Taylor III bolted out of the room with a yowl. "Straight through the glove, too!"

"I'll get the Bactine," Taylor said with a sigh.

---

Note: Will likely keep doing little bits of the Carol thing mixed in with other stuff.

 

[Dromuthra]

Hah! Taylor III is victorious again!

Carol continues to be Carol, news at 11.

 

[dc2008]

"It doesn't matter?" Dr. Weaver replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "The fae itself is located in a different dimension, although still on this world line, and is, by some measure, equidistant to both Bet and, well, whichever of Valkyrie's worlds Amy would select."

"Then why is she trying to lure Amy away from her family?" Carol asked, determined.

"She's not?" Dr. Weaver replied in a confused tone. "You're invited too?"

Elsewhere

"Do you hear a low vibrating, buzzing sort of noise?" Doctor Mother asked, as she continued to poke around an out-of-the-way utility area.

"Can't be anything bad, or the Custodian would have flagged it," Kurt replied, looking around thoughtfully.

"It's almost inaudible, I can feel it as much as hear it?" Doctor Mother said, opening another cabinet. "Wait, did it st—Oh."

Inside was a large fluffy cat, curled up with a pair of kittens around a piece of equipment. The cat turned to stare at Doctor Mother with a put-upon expression. Doctor Mother carefully closed the cabinet, and the purring resumed.

---

Note: jaded!Taylor, you're doing the thing again.

 

[JASP]

"She's not?" Dr. Weaver replied in a confused tone. "You're invited too?"

Click to shrink...

Photom mom! Help! She is doing the thing!

 

[Dudeman]

What's with the cat randomly showing up all over the place? Is it just a gag, or are there clues I missed that explain this?

 

[dc2008]

What's with the cat randomly showing up all over the place? Is it just a gag, or are there clues I missed that explain this?

Click to shrink...

It has not been explained on-screen, although at least one person guessed what is happening in a comment on {redacted}. In theory there is actually plot significance to it, but it's also an excuse to add cats to the Cauldron compound.

I had meant to have had the payoff happen by now but then I realized I kind of sort of forgot to hit a plot point when I was supposed to, so I had to kind of jam it in later than it should have been and the payoff got delayed.

 

[dc2008]

"We will also be inviting proposals for permanent border access points."

"Portals?"

"Permanent ones, with multiple redundant fallbacks. Brockton will be on the list."

"Fuck me," James said without looking up.

"We're also offering the usual places, but she feels strongly about Brockton due to the high-concentration of senior fae.

"The security concerns would… hmm. Actually, Dr. Weaver has been working on that."

The older man nodded. "We'll be willing to offer assistance in the event of a major attack."

James snorted. "One of the few upsides of the Endbringers, as soon as you hit 'S-class threat' the international aid protocols kick in, no more waiting weeks to send in aid while assholes posture and dick around. That's one treaty no one objected to Valkyrie signing."

"Yes, that did rather simplify things. On that topic, as a matter of goodwill and as an extension of the previously discussed research projects, we are open to setting up a working group to discuss how we might better apply our capabilities, up to and including portal capabilities, in responding to S-class threats. Not just transport, but also things like locating medical centers or refugee points on other worlds."

"That will be greatly appreciated. The more we can focus on non-terrifying uses of those things, the better."

---

Note: I love how Valkyrie's experiment in governance has somehow turned into a kind of sideways promotion thing for a certain type of self-identified sort of elder statesman from the Earth Bet US, sort of like how the IRL EU is in that regard. Wasn't planned by me either, just sort of happened.

 

[dc2008]

"It's not a matter of whether or not we're invited!" Brandish said hotly. "It's her extended family, her friends, her support structure!"

"Excuse me?" Lady Photon interrupted, before Dr. Weaver could respond. "To clarify, are you or the PRT in any way encouraging or discouraging this?"

Dr. Weaver blinked. "No? I don't know? It does seem only polite to extend the offer. I doubt she expects Amy to accept, at least in the near term. I'm sure she'd be thrilled if Amy, well, Queen Shaper, were to actually accept it, the support of a third Queen-tier fae would be very helpful. Still, it's not like there is a time limit. And, of course, the fae situation being what it is, anything better than open hostility and conflict from QS would likely be taken as a win, at least for now."

Brandish blinked. "What are you talking about?"

Elsewhere

"Dinah, sweetie, what are you and your friend doing?"

"Oh, hi Mom!" Dinah said. "This is Aisha, we're practicing lock unpicking."

Dinah's mother blinked. "Is the door supposed to already be open?"

"Yep! See, in our self-defense thing, they talked about how lots of doors in places have locks, but no one has the key, so if you have to do escape and evasion things, locking the doors can help you get away!"

"Then I said," Dinah's friend continued, "what if there isn't even a little knob on one side for the lock? If you can pick a lock open, you should be able to pick in closed."

"Yeah!" Dinah said, "and then put gum or glue or something in the lock while you get away. Or lock one door and then go through another one for misdirection."

"Well," Dinah's mother said, then paused. "I am glad you are taking safety seriously."

---

Note:
Mrs. Alcott: Well, at least it won't get her pregnant. And it's better than when she was climbing things.

Also Note:
Sarah: Oh my god, why am I slipping into mom mode? I would be mortified, except somehow it's working.

 

[JASP]

"It's not a matter of whether or not we're invited!" Brandish said hotly. "It's her extended family, her friends, her support structure!"

Click to shrink...

Weaver: Well, technically I was the one that made her support structure... Or caused it.

 

[dc2008]

"Oh, that reminds me of a thing," Amy said as Alec fussed with the console.

"Winners don't do meth," Alec said. "No matter how good a deal the guy offers you."

Amy laughed. "Cassie, one of the girls in the girl power group. She's working with someone called Rachel as a work study thing. Helping keep her out of trouble and shit. Something about dogs."

"Hmm," Alec said in a non-committal tone.

"She's looking for people who might have known Rachel before and might have tips. Gave me her number, which I have written on this paper I'm leaving on the table here, while I go to the bathroom and do girl things for a few minutes."

"Try not to have too much fun!"

Elsewhere

"What am I talking about?" Dr. Weaver looked confused. "Haven't you been following the information being put out by the Court of the Wandering Fae?"

"What?" Carol replied confused. "I have no idea what that is, it sounds like some sort of circus or children's program."

"Valkyrie? The Fairy Queen? Her experiment in human-fae cooperation and non-master fae governance?"

---

Note: Just saying, even in-context a lot of this shard stuff sounds ridiculous.

 

[BethofDeath]

"...it sounds like some sort of circus or children's program."

Click to shrink...

I mean, unless she gave herself back the years of age she has like in canon, it looks like a children's program too! So for once, it's easy to understand Carol's reaction.

 

[dc2008]

I mean, unless she gave herself back the years of age she has like in canon, it looks like a children's program too! So for once, it's easy to understand Carol's reaction.

Click to shrink...

That does raise a good question. How will she change her appearance? (And how can we use the issue to torment Glenn? )

 

[dc2008]

"The Fairy Queen? I saw something about it, but didn't pay much attention. She has always had odd views on powers."

Dr. Weaver sighed. "Yes. She is going by Valkyrie now. She is, hmmm. She has been releasing more information about fae, or powers as more people call them. It likely isn't entirely accurate but it's better than what we had?"

"What does any of this have to do with my daughter?"

Elsewhere

"Hi?" Brian said, surprised to find Lisa at his door with a pair of coffees and a newspaper.

"Hey," she said, bustling into the apartment.

"Please come in," Brian said, closing the door.

"So," Lisa said passing him her phone. "We have a problem."

"Yes, someone you have saved as 'FemboyPITA' sent you a string of gibberish in what looks like French, what are you talking about?"

---

Note:
L: We have a special secret mission!
B: {Sighs}

 

[dc2008]

"Ok," Dr. Weaver said, "short version, powers are like fae, which is why I call them that. They are powerful, alien, and range from barely sentient to highly sapient to eldritch. Some are benevolent, some disregard us and our needs entirely, and even the best intentioned sometimes have trouble with the whole 'understanding humans' thing."

"Both of you likely have powers from the same fae, who is likely sapient, and who presumably likes you both since you've had your powers this long and haven't gone axe crazy or died in some absurd misadventure. As for your daughters, Vicky's power is probably sapient, adores her, and is at a developmental level somewhere between child at the low end and teen at the high end. Amy's power is sapient at the low end, eldritch at the high end, and no longer seems actively grumpy with her."

Both sisters stared at Dr. Weaver.

"I know that's a lot—would you like a snack, maybe a stiff drink?"

Both sisters continued to stare at Dr. Weaver.

"Oh" Dr. Weaver added, "you can sprinkle 'according to the Wandering Court' throughout that, I don't think any of it is 'PRT official' yet."

"Uh-huh," said Lady Photon slowly. She glanced at her sister, and then turned back to Dr. Weaver. "Do you mind if we break here to digest, well, all of that?"

---

Note: I do find there to be something inherently funny in making very serious characters very seriously talk about this nonsense. Clearly it's a memetic defense mechanism to make people talking about the shards seem insane.

 

[dc2008]

It was a perfectly normal bar, full of perfectly normal people, who had perfectly normal views on things like minorities—just ask them. There was a police presence certainly, and the health inspectors did come by periodically, and if some of those involved at times had problems with their vision or hearing, well, everyone involved had a firm understanding of How Things Worked. The photos and iconography decorating the walls reflected cultural and historical interests, not hate, and while the food and drink might not be of the best quality, the establishment was a longstanding and perfectly respectable part of the Bay's history. True, the clientele leaned pale and monochromatic, but what could you expect? It wasn't like those people were good company anyway.

Then the parking lot was rocked by a large explosion, and things became rather more complicated.

Elsewhere

Rushing out of the bath, Piggot grabbed the secure phone. Before she could dial, it started ringing.

"Piggot," she said, catching her breath.

"Dispatch, we have an explosion not far from the medical park, BBPD is responding and has requested assistance. From the size this is substantially larger than a typical car or pipe bomb."

"Cape involvement?"

"Unconfirmed. No outwardly unconventional indications at this time. Armsmaster is being contacted now, and we have triggered a general check to ensure all personnel are safe and accounted for. Recall has not yet been triggered."

"Good. Send a car. If I need to be on the phone, I don't want to be driving."

 

[Fredo]

Someone bombed a Nazi bar.

And nothing of value was lost.

 

[Splattered Cloak]

Wait, was this the fic where I recently read about Bakuda bombing a restaurant that had offended her? I can't find the reference on a quick scan, here or in the other thread that comes to mind.

 

[dc2008]

Wait, was this the fic where I recently read about Bakuda bombing a restaurant that had offended her? I can't find the reference on a quick scan, here or in the other thread that comes to mind.

Click to shrink...

No. I don't recall if Bakuda has been mentioned on-screen at all, although I've definitely mentioned her in WOG. She got nebulously yoinked at Dr. Weaver's instigation before she could cause problems in the Bay, and some of her work was used in the great purge of major threats. At this point, she currently is either somewhere working for Valkyrie, or she's dead, I'll decide if it ever becomes relevant.

 

[dc2008]

Note: This occurs before the prior chapter, but I posted out of order by accident.

---

Previously

"Why are we driving out of the city?" Brian was willing to humor Lisa to a point, but he hasn't signed up for some road trip.

"We're going to Rachel's farm," Lisa replied.

"Why? Cassie lives in the Bay."

"I know Cassie from the group, and you have met Cassie because she knows me and Aisha, but she doesn't know that Lisa and Brian know Rachel. Meanwhile, Lisa and Brian have no reason to know Rachel, so we need to be the capes formerly known as Tattletale and Grue, and having two technically not villainous capes randomly reach out to Cassie might freak her out, but it is perfectly reasonable for Rachel's former colleagues to meet be at Rachel's new digs."

"So secret identity stuff and not scaring her."

"Well, yes, but when you say it like that it isn't as interesting."

"Couldn't we have just left a note?"

"But then what if she was seen meeting with us?"

"Lisa, she doesn't have a secret identity because she isn't a cape, and her working with Rachel also isn't a secret. How would her meeting with us be a problem?"

"Well, of course it would… huh."

"Not everything needs to be complicated, Lisa."

"But where's the fun in that!"

"Not even getting into the issues of having to have a quiet chat with someone, about how to get Rachel to not do something, that Rachel wants to do, at Rachel's place?"

"Maybe she won't be home?" Lisa asked weakly.

A distant boom sounded from the city behind them.

"Well," Brian said, as Lisa turned the car around, "I think it's moot now."

---

Note: Yes, Lisa, we know you are a very clever girl.

 

[tenmachi]

Note: Yes, Lisa, we know you are a very clever girl.

Click to shrink...

I absolutely pictured Lisa as a smirking lilac-colored raptor wearing a trenchcoat and trilby just now.

 

[dc2008]

"It was a fucking bomb," Victor said as he entered the ad hoc command center. "Our bomb."

"Explain," Max replied curtly.

Krieg leaned forward with interest. He had been in the pub at the time of the explosion, and had had to get a ride to come in, as he was too rattled to safely drive.

"Armsmaster is confident its the same fucking lot as the stuff from the national guard armory where we got all that shit we sourced, only for our German friends to lose in Boston."

"How certain is that?" Max snapped.

"One of our boys in blue heard Armsy make his report. BBPD separately recovered a fragment of a packing case—same style as what we had used to pack the shipment. We're working on getting out our own residue sample to confirm."

"Do we know who the target was?"

Victor gestures to Krieg. "The bomb was in the trunk of his car."

Krieg stood up, blood draining from his face.

"Do you want us to bring in your family?" Max asked carefully.

"Nein, they aren't in the Bay." He didn't notice the sharp look from Max. "With things heating up," Krieg continues, "they went back home to her family last week."

---

Note: Recall that Krieg has a wife and kids.