Goddamn Teenagers (Worm, AU/time travel)

[dc2008]

"Now, what about--" Alec began, only to be cut off by Chris.

"Don't care," Chris replied confidently, "I won't fall for another one."

"Fine, then--"

"La la la"

"So how big is your warp drive, then?"

"...why?"

"I'm curious."

"You're just trying to butter me up," said Chris, mulishly.

"Well, yes, but I'm also curious whether it will fit inside a body-shaped-container."

"How would you... why would you... could you... oh, thank you..." Chris trailed off, accepting the offered pen and pad of paper.

"How 'bout I leave you to it then!"

"Oh, thank god," Trevor said, bursting in. "There's two of them now, you wouldn't--what are you working on now?"

Elsewhere

"I can see why the boys like this game so much," Missy said, accepting the bowl of popcorn from Taylor.

"Yeah," Taylor agreed. "Need to work on my twitch reflexes though."

"So were you serious about the underground thing?" Missy said absently, as the girls stared at a loading screen.

"Oh, absolutely, there are just so many underground spaces with such interesting possibilities."

"Have to admit," Missy said, setting down her now empty can of energy drink. "I've done roofs but never underground stuff. More worried about getting stuck, I suppose."

"Fair," Taylor said, as Missy's can began to slowly make its way toward the recycle bin. "Less of a concern for me, although it would be nice if I could figure out a good way to make a model or map of it all."

"Well I hope you're..." Dennis began, stomping back in. "Now they're both tinkering! We'll never--what are you doing?!"

"It's my controllers!" Missy retorted hotly, still concentrating on using her powers to manipulate the little weights attached to her controller. "I'm allowed."

"They're sterile," Taylor said, gesturing toward the bugs on her controller. "Don't worry. Medical grade even!"

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

 

[dc2008]

"Alec," Lisa said, stalking into the lab, "if you are playing another of your fucking jokes, I swear--"

"Hi!" Dinah chirped, coming in behind her.

Alec lazily looked away from the whiteboard where Trevor and Chris were doing something tinkery that looked complicated but was probably a tinkertech back scratcher or something.

Advanced transportation device, theoretically capable of--

Oh, shut up, can't you let me just have this one thing?

Lisa's mental train of thought was then sadly derailed by the munchkin.

"But why?" Dinah wheedled. "Since when are you the fun police? I just want a case!"

"No." Alec said, firmly. "I'm not giving you a case of any energy drink, especially that one. It has even more caffeine than normal, and taurine, and something that has a fancy name but I think is just other-handed something normal that Amy says is a marketing gimmick. Oh, and more sugar than that awful coffee Lisa drinks."

"Come ooooonnnn, my parents won't get it for me and the store wants an ID card!"

"No, I won't give it to you because you will drink it all at once and fucking die, and I'm too lazy to hide a body especially because you'll do it here, what where there are all the cameras, and then I'll have to go on the run and that would suck."

"I can drink responsibly!"

"No, you really, really can't."

Dinah pouted. "A pack then?"

"No."

"Just one can!"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeease!"

"Next time I'm having some if you're around I'll give you some, but only a little bit, because, again, you will fucking die and I like my apartment and cushy job." He shook his head. "God, if I'd known you all would be this much trouble I would have never...," Alec trailed off, noticing Lisa's attentive look.

He's the one who has been putting energy drinks in the Wards room

No shit, I kind of figured that one out.

 

[dc2008]

"But why?" Dinah whined dramatically. "You're supposed to be a bad influence, why do you have to be all responsible now?"

Alec laughed. "Enlightened self-interest, but I'm more interested in hearing who told you I'm a bad influence."

Dinah rolled her eyes. "Who didn't? Rory, of course, but also Carlos, and Weld, and--"

"Oh my god," Dennis said, entering the increasingly cramped lab. "How could you abandon me like that?"

Lisa suppressed a snort as his complaint clearly failed to even register to Trevor, who was still deep in calculations with Chris.

Dennis next turned to Alec and Dinah, who were now watching him with interest. "What about you two, will you join me in liberating the games console from forces most vile?"

Alec, looking unimpressed, dramatically turned around the room, counting occupants off on his fingers as Dinah snickered.

"Soooooo," Alec finally drawled. "What did you do to piss off the girls?"

"Hey!" Dennis squawked, as Lisa guffawed. "Who said anything about them?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "I'm lazy, not stupid, I know the fun police boys aren't scheduled, I checked that first, before even coming to talk to Chris. Who else does that leave?"

Dinah perked up. "Oh, Missy and Taylor finally got the console away from you?! Score!"

"... and she's gone," Lisa gasped, before breaking out into laughter again.

"Keep it down!" Chris yelled from across the room. "Some of us are trying to work!"

---

Note: Happy New Year!

 

[dc2008]

"Okay," Lisa said, as she shut the door to the conference room. "What is so hush hush?"

"So, I know a guy. Gal. Whatever. Anyway, they've got a thing and it's just the sort of thing a clever girl like you could find a good home for!"

Lisa rolled her eyes as she sat down. "And you're too lazy to fence shit."

"Well, sure," Alec acknowledged, "Wouldn't say no to a finders fee, but you get the idea."

"I note," Lisa said smartly, "you haven't actually said what this thing is?"

"So you know those pocket pet things, that we totally ripped off the Aleph idea?"

"Yeah…"

"It's like that, but better!"

Lisa stared at him.

"Also, it thinks it's a Nazi, so if you forget to feed it, no guilt!"

Underplaying what he has.

Lisa sighed. "What's the catch?"

Alec looked around conspiratorially. "It really is an imprint from a real-life, no shit, senior Nazi guy from the Bay. Memories and all, and they've got some way to search 'em. Heard someone call it an engram."

Lisa's eyes went wide. "If that's genuine, that could be even bigger than when Mar--," Lisa shut her mouth abruptly, paused a moment, sighed, and then continued. "When Marquis's old files got found and, uh, used."

Alec raised an eyebrow.

Lisa shook her head. "Classified. Anyway, what's the catch, it sounds like whoever this is could just call Dragon or Armsmaster or Piggot or even Dr. Weaver."

Alec squirmed. "There's something fucky about it..."

---

Note: This was supposed to be a much shorter sequence, but then the characters (mostly Alec) grabbed it and ran away with it.

 

[dc2008]

"Define fucky," Lisa said firmly.

"Weeeeellllll, I might have overheard some conversations about other uses of this technology, and the resulting ass-chewing from—"

Alec's meandering explanation was interrupted by an alert tone on Lisa's phone, which transitioned to lyrics. "It's the end of the world, as we know it…."

"Do you need to take that," Alec asked with feigned politeness.

Lisa swore. "Yes, damnit, but we're not done."

Answering the call, Lisa said her her best professional voice, "Lilac here."

"This is Director Tagg, check phone for handshake confirmation."

Lisa dutifully read off the security phrase which appeared on her phone.

"Where is Dr. Weaver, we have a situation and she is not answering."

Lisa felt her stomach sink. "I haven't seen her, but at a guess…"

Elsewhere

Kamil blinked at Tagg's report. "If the Aleph Americans want copies of our M/S protocols, why go through these channels? They're public, they can get them from any number of places."

"They want the classified portions," Tagg replied.

"Why? Why us, why M/S protocols, and why now?" Aleph-America had always rejected any efforts to build closer security ties, out of a general distrust of Bet in general and a specific distrust of any organized group with access to parahuman abilities.

"Once you cut through the waffling from State, best guess is something has Aleph-China all stirred up. Remember," Tagg continued, holding up a hand to forestall objections, "they're much closer to Aleph-US than we are to the CUI, especially on off-world matters and parahuman threats."

"Best guess," Tagg continued, "is either the CUI or Valkyrie's people did something to set them off."

 

[dc2008]

I think you wanted 'best guess' not 'beat guess'.

On that note; nothing like a bigger problem to make you less paranoid about somebody else.

Click to shrink...

Typo fixed in the text! Thank you very much!

I have been having some fun thinking about Aleph.

For Aleph-America, they won the Cold War, and were riding the euphoria, when Haywire punches a hole in the universe and suddenly they've got to worry about a threat vector that both has the potential to be a meaningful existential threat (in a way IRL Al-Queda was not) and also is much more difficult to grapple with. Cue mass paranoia and xenophobia.

That said, I still think they would manage better than Aleph-China. I very much expect the CUI would be of the view that all Han people everywhere should be unified under their "benevolent" rule, which should "obviously" also should include all of China's "traditional" territory. This lets them call back to commonly used tropes and cultural themes running all the way back the Qin and which are favorites of ascendant Chinese dynasties/governments.

Of course, this would cause Aleph-China to freak out. They can see how CUI runs their country, and have no illusions what would happen to the CCP and its leadership if CUI had its way. They would then most likely frame the CUI as a bunch of foreign/alien warlords, which stomps all over a bunch of cultural trigger points, hard. (The centuries of foreign encroachment left deep scars.)

 

[dc2008]

"Well at least it wasn't us who set off Aleph's paranoia this time," Kamil observed with false levity. "Have we gotten any additional context from Valkyrie's people or Dr. Weaver?"

"On Valkyrie's side, we got referred to Sir Windbag, who was even more evasive than normal." Seeing Kamil's expression, he elaborated. "Either he doesn't know, or is deliberately stonewalling." Tagg shrugged. "With him, it could be either."

"And Dr. Weaver?"

"I have a call in," Tagg said with barely concealed exasperation, "but she hasn't responded yet. Also spoke to Emily and that thinker of her's, Lilac. They also haven't heard from her today, but each independently offered that she is likely preoccupied with that educational reform project…"

Kamil winced. "From what I know of her background I can't say I'm surprised…"

"… but the timing is damn inconvenient," Tagg concluded.

Kamil sighed. "I'm not inclined to give Aleph full access," he said slowly. "The same sorts of things we give to the corporates doing low-level defense work, sure, but no more."

"Revisit once they demonstrate they've implemented those?"

"Why not," Kamil replied. "Gives them—and State—an olive branch."

Tagg chuckled. "That will make the counterintelligence types happy, if Aleph really is having CUI problems it would be a shame to give them our best only for it to immediately leak to the CUI."

"Sure, we'll go with that."

---

Note: Just imagine what the Aleph security services say about Bet!

 

[dc2008]

"So, what," Lisa asked, putting down her phone. "Where were we?"

"Pocket Nazi," Alec replied smugly, putting away his game.

"Right… Why do I care?"

"So it not only thinks it's a Brockton Nazi and says genuine Nazi bullshit, it even has the memories of a genuine senior Brockton Nazi."

"How the fuck does it have Nazi memories?"

"Eh," Alec said, "tinker shit, don't ask questions."

Memories from an actual Nazi.

"Wait wait," Lisa said, feeling a sinking feeling in her stomach. "Is this memories from an actual Brockton Nazi?"

"Yeah? Kind of the point, keep up."

"So it has Nazi memories and talks like a Nazi and thinks it's a Nazi, are you sure it isn't a Nazi in a box?"

Alec snorted. "What, like a bouncing baby Bismarck?"

"What? No, Otto van Bismarck was--" Lisa's cut off abruptly at Alec's snort of laughter. "It doesn't matter," she continued, "once tinkers get involved. Is it an actual Nazi or isn't it?"

"Again, kind of the point? Well, technically not because it's a computer and it's emotions are fucked. The Kingsman douche is big on rights of digital people, and so is Big Blue. So it's specially set up to be, technically, not a person. Something about the emotional coding, blah blah blah."

Lisa felt a headache coming on. "Is that really not a person though? I mean, there are people people with emotional dysfunction and they're still people."

"You raise a good and valid point, as I would be the last person to argue that emotional divergence would render someone unperson. However, I respectfully offer that, well, Nazi. So fuck 'em."

 

[dc2008]

"Her creepy crawlies were all over!" Dennis said intently.

The PRT supervisor looked like she would rather be anywhere else.

"They're cleaner now than when I started," Taylor replied hotly. "These are, were sterile, medicinal grade specimens cleared for use in here. I don't know if that is true anymore, however, after what they found…"

"Oh, god," Dinah said, "what did the boys leave out this time?"

"The controllers were contaminated with old food debris, trace amounts of toxic metals, and even fecal matter."

"Hey!" Missy said indignantly, "those were my testing controllers! You all weren't supposed to use them!"

"Can we go back?" Dennis asked. "Who approved her having those things in the common area and why?!"

"Power testing," said Missy, Taylor, Chris and the supervisor, automatically.

"It is important that I gain experience sensing in a safe environment," Taylor recited.

"Like you using your power on stuff in there," Dinah added, glaring at Dennis.

"I will happily agree to never use my power in the common area again if you do the same," Dennis said earnestly.

"Hey," Dinah said indignantly, "how could you offer that now and not when I asked."

Missy snickered. "Same reason he offered me after the chip thing."

 

[dc2008]

"I don't understand the problem," Alec said with exaggerated patience. "It's not a person, because she deliberately omitted the bits that would make it a person."

"Yes." Lisa replied firmly. "Isn't that sort of the problem? Nazi or no?"

"I mean," Alec said candidly, "if we had the actual for reals Nazi this is based on right here in front of us, I would be entirely down with torturing him for information, so… eh? Not usually a fan of torture, especially after dad's bullshit, but Nazi? Especially a boss Nazi? Fucker sees me in my dress out on the town, he'd do the same to me or worse, just for shiggles."

"Ugggggh," Lisa replied articulately, barely stopping herself from nodding along. When did Alec get all reasonable?

Dr. Weaver would likely agree?

"Yes, excellent idea," Lisa replied.

"Why thank you! I'm writing this down, it's not every day you recognize my genius."

"No, not you, Power."

Alec stuck out his tongue in response.

Lisa graciously ignored the little shit's insolence. "We'll just dump the problem on Dr. Weaver," she continued.

"But where's the fun in that?" Alec whined.

---

Note:
Also Alec: "And more importantly, how will I get my cut!?"