I think part of the discrepancy comes from the idea of a parent not wanting their kid running around in anything but the best level of protection, given that they're either unwilling (or unable) to prevent said kid from going out on their own merits, and given the situation, Danny would rather have Taylor hate him than be dead, though his thought process is far from ideal.
Now, whether or not Danny would be impressed by 'it's totally cool dad, I've been going out with Glory Girl (and NOT with the rest of New Wave), or these two random capes with no real support network' is up for debate, especially with Annette's death, and Taylor's having pulled away from him.
Honestly, I don't really quite understand Taylor's reluctance to join the wards aside from 'They spied on me after they said they'd leave me alone (which, to be fair, is kind of FUBAR on the PRT's part), plus I'd be chained down with rules n such (which is really, really dumb, but I guess she hasn't really been at risk enough yet to know she should have people watching her back)
Which, if we're taking the Phoenix into play, fine, but Jean was part of a similar team, which on the whole, despite trust issues and such, was able to work rather well with the X-men, even insofar as regarding her death, where she essentially made peace with dying in the first place. Now, the cosmic entity bird may not be all too understanding, but it's felt more like Jean than the Phoenix proper thus far, hence my slight confusion/irritation with Taylor.