"Gah,
finally, we can roll the gacha some more!" Kana walks with a skip in her step as she cheers, side by side with her brother. "I love our Servants, really do, but I'd love to have
more. You know?"
"You're greedy as hell," Ritsuka says, not nearly as energetic as his sister. He has a cup of coffee in his hand and a stack of folders under his arm, pending orders for the new micro-singularities that have appeared since. Ritsuka relents with a small smile. "Well, I guess we could shore up ou Saber division, and we don't actually have any Assassins right now. Would be nice to get some, and shore up our Riders while we're at it."
It's been... two, three weeks? About three weeks since the initial call to suspend summons and focus all of Chaldea's resources on rebuilding was made. The window that Flauros' death provided gave Chaldea a respite, enough to finally lick its wounds and focus on getting back on its feet
before punching the enemies of human history in the dick.
Offensive operations, localised shutdowns of harmful micro-singularities continued of course, as well as looting everything that wasn't nailed down. The greenhouses were also restored, and they will eventually have a fairly steady internal supply of food to supplement the stores too. Nice things. Maybe they'll have fruit in like six months.
But the majority of the work is bureaucratic, rearranging work schedules, optimising deployments, and – basically it's a bunch of crap no one but Ritsuka and Roman really have to care about. And that's good. The fewer people involved, the fewer fuckups should happen. Ideally. Not to mention that literally no one but Ritsuka and Roman have a head for this sort of nonsense. Must be the R&R connection.
Anyways. Summoning.
"What
about Riders?" His sister asks quizzically. "I think Marie's doing a
fine job."
"I mean I agree, but... You have to admit, she's not the best in combat. And I'd rather send someone else besides her if we ever need a Rider."
Kana gasps. "Are you, perchance...
sexist?" Ritsuka tries to grab her nose but she blocks it. "Alright, point taken. Seriously though, she's fine."
"She's fine but... I get the feeling she doesn't really want to fight all that much. And that's fine, she can be a backliner." Ritsuka shrugs at that. "Reserve Servants are always good, for smaller fights and other things. Honestly I'm not too concerned if most of our roster doesn't fight as long as we can keep dealing with Singularities and resolve Grand Order. But for that we need beefier Riders. Or a beefier Servant in general. If there are any Lancers with chariots, I'm all ears."
Kana shrugs. "I mean we can't roll specific Servants anyways, so let's just hope and see."
"...Right," he nods. The summoning chambers are right before them, sealed behind a reinforced door."Five me, five you?"
"As usual!"
They step in, and return to the old routine. Ritsuka draws three sets of Black Keys, an Azoth Blade, and one navy blue and white jacket.
Utterly useless.
Kana doesn't fare much better, either. One black sleeve – and
only a sleeve – plus a red sleeve – again,
just the sleeve – and two red scepters tipped with a large ruby. It's... not a great day for either of them. Man.
"...I blame you, by the way," Ritsuka mutters bitterly. "You sucked out all the luck. Now
nobody gets shit."
Kana holds up the black sleeve in her hands, peering at it through structural analysis. "I'm, uh... Pretty sure this is a high level Craft Essence."
"...Oh
fuck you." Ritsuka holds up a red-tinted Black Key. "This is
all I get."
"And I still have one roll!" Kana says cheerfully. She shows off the four quartz held between her fingers and giggles merrily. "Watch, Rits: It's going to be the money shot!"
"Please don't say that."
She tosses them carelessly into the summoning ring. Three prismatic rings expand out and a golden pillar of light shoots into the ceiling.
"OH COME ON!"
"There there, Rits. You'll get it someday."
"It's rigged! Summons are RIGGED!"
Kana frowns. "...Actually, as the light pillar ever been gold before?"
The light dies. Standing before them is a man with golden hair, clad in golden armor. His features are perfectly formed, the very peak of masculine beauty. His red eyes are hard and contemptuous, and his lips twist into a cruel smirk.
"Fuhahahahaha!" He laughs, his voice sharp like a rain of swords. "Summoning me has cost you
all your luck, mongrels!"
Ritsuka looks at the man in gold, as does Kana. There are no words. There are no reactions.
Kana, lucksack that she is, has successfully called upon the
strongest Heroic Spirit. Gilgamesh of Uruk. Victor of the Fourth Holy Grail War. Near-victor of the Fifth. Owner of just about every legendary armament and relic in existence, or at least the platonic ideal of one. And also kind of possibly just a bit of a
total asshole.
Gilgamesh opens his eyes, frowning. "So? What are you Mongrels waiting for? Kneel, and I will grant you the opportunity to serve."
"Yeah, no." Kana says outright at him. "We're trying to save the world and I'd rather not deal with a
giant golden asshole. So we can try again... or you can go home."
Ritsuka snaps to her quick enough he nearly twists his neck off. He wants to yell at her to not be a fucking idiot, but it's too late now. The idiocy has actualised.
Gilgamesh looks at her. Really,
really looks at her. Veins popping along his temples, brow creased, his red eyes furious. For an instant, Ritsuka feared for his life. The fury of the King of Heroes is not something to be understated. He prepares a Command Seal, reaching out for the one Servant he can rely on here--
And then suddenly Gilgamesh rears back, fury abated. Instead, his frown turns into a mad smile as he starts laughing hysterically at the sky.
"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are
his children?
THEIR CHILDREN?! Audacious!
Hilarious! I have not known such merriment in ages!" He looks back down, pointing at Kana. The girl, idiot she is, doesn't even flinch. "You, I like." Gilgamesh turns to Ritsuka, the boy jumping in his skin. "You... Beware."
"...Beware wha--" is all he manages, before Gilgamesh grabs him in a bear hug and throws him back in a suplex.
--
In 2026, humanity was incinerated by a great threat
BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MONGRELS MAKE UP THE MAJORITY OF YOUR POPULATION
I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE THAT THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE AROUND ANYMORE
LIVE YOUR LIVES AND BE PRODUCTIVE, THAT IS FINE
BUT WHEN THEY ARE DOING ACTUALLY NOTHING
THEN WE HAVE PROBLEMS
WELL NOW I AM GOING TO SAVE THEIR SORRY BACKSIDES WITH LITERALLY THE ONLY HUMANS LEFT THAT MATTER
YOU ARE FUCKING WELCOME, HUMANITY
...Such is what happens when you need to be saved by the King of Heroes
Welcome, to...
FATE/SUNNY ORDER
--
The doors all but fly open as Archer charges in, his twin chinese blades projected. "Ritsuka! Kana! I felt a disturbance in the--" His eyes narrow.
"You."
"Yes," Gilgamesh cackles, his face obscured by Ritsuka's.
"Me. How lives,
Faker?"
Archer inhales sharply. He dismisses both Kanshou and Bakuya. He always feared this day would come. The Counter Guardian holds out one hand at the King of Heroes.
"I am the bone of my Sword."
"It's fine, father," Ritsuka says, his voice flat and dead. The expression on his face betrays no fear, no tolerance, and no fucks left to give. If he was ever afraid of the King of Heroes, that feeling has since been replaced by, if not apoplectic fury, then apoplectic irritation. If that could be a thing.
It should be a thing.
"Ho?" Gilgamesh says, mockingly-impressed. "You're still conscious? Impressive! You might qualify as a slave to one of my footsoldiers!"
Ritsuka pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales. "Yeah, see, King of Heroes, Gilgamesh of Uruk? I'm--"
"--Ritsuka Tohsaka, I am well aware. The eyes of a King see much. And you seem to be the pillar Chaldea relies on, including your sister Kana over there." Gilgamesh grunts contemptuously. "What does it matter? Why do
you lead? Why would
I care? I am King; all things are mine, all people, mine. You are only a subject to lord over, not even someone I would
care to listen to."
"--Not going to talk about that," Ritsuka continues smoothly. "But I feel like I should tell you this, before you make a fool of yourself to everyone else."
"Hoh? And what would that be?"
In an instant, like the crack of a gunshot, Ritsuka flares all his circuits with mana. The hammer strikes the shield, and he fills with
energy. He throws his lower body up and out, sending the King of Heroes flying. Gilgamesh lands on his feet with ease, arms folded, but Ritsuka has already twirled onto his feet, taking up a fighting stance.
"Fairly impressive, for a mongrel," the King of Uruk nods. "Well then, come. Show me what you can do, so I may strike you down at your best."
Here it comes, the moment to save him. Archer braces--
"Your armor is tacky as
fuck," Ritsuka scowls. "You look like you're wearing a golden tea kettle someone cut in half and then stuck onto a fucking
bowl."
Archer can't help but wonder if the gigantic brass balls on this kid have some sort of reflection in the Gate of Babylon, because
holy shit that was bold.
Gilgamesh looks at him. His arms are still folded, his lips still curled into a frown. Slowly, it curls into an impressed smile, and he fans open his arms. "You know... I agree. You pass."
Ritsuka blinks. "Wait, what?"
"
AUO: CAST OFF!"
"Wait
what--"
There is a bright, blinding light. And then there is Gilgamesh, in his full glory.
"There," the King of Heroes boasts. "
Much better! Fine advice, from a mongrel! I might have to reassess your worth!"
Archer runs, covering Kana's eyes. "Dear
god, King of Heroes, there is a
girl here."
"No, it's cool," Kana says. Face frozen in terror, she still manages to give a shaky thumbs up. "This is
fiiiiine. I'm
totally okay with this. There is
nothing wrong with the events that are
currently unfolding before me." She screams silently, like a deflating balloon. Oh, look, she hit her limit. Great.
Archer looks ruefully at Ritsuka. He shrugs. "I've got nothing," Ritsuka says. "You can try, if you like."
EMIYA frowns. He says nothing. This is a strange turn of events. Since when did the King of Heroes stripping down to his birthday suit become the best course of events that could have possibly happened? Eye of the Mind does not report anything. As always, it is useless when there isn't a fight going on.
"Well then, Masters of Chaldea," the King of Heroes says haughtily, "As subjects in my favor, you may show me the premises."
"Can Archer come?" Kana asks. "I'm like, ninety percent sure he's going to come along anyways, so this will be easier."
"Hmph," Gilgamesh grunts. He grins. "Very well! I shall allow the Faker to come! Show me this lighthouse in the sea of chaos, Masters!"
He marches on, out of the Summoning Chambers. With a sigh EMIYA finally stops covering Kana's eyes. She rubs them, blinks, and blinks some more.
"...Oh my FUCK
Gilgamesh just called us Master."
"I can't even care enough to be happy right now," Ritsuka sighs. He rolls his eyes. "Come
on, before my workload grows exponentially
again."
