Seihai-kun
[Unverified Wish Granting Device]
- Location
- Brasil
Nasu created all the rules just for his characters to be cooler when they break them.
Fate/Sunny Order (FGO)
- Thread starter Swordomatic
- Start date
Chapter Five - Pt. 3
- Location
- Singapore
With a Singularity currently underway, Chaldea's CIC is a blur of activity, technicians hunched over dozens of flickering monitors tracking a hundred different variables, conducting all sorts of predictive forecasting based off statistical analysis. Three people stand above them all, looking over their shoulders and presiding over the incident proper. Two of them are heroes from myth and legend, called to preserve the Human Order.
The third is Doctor Romani Archaman, acting Director of Chaldea by dint of literally-everyone-above-him-dying. But he's doing a fine enough job that no one has attempted a coup. Yet.
Not that anyone would want this job. Case in point: what is going on in Rome right now.
"Say again? You are saying Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar is a woman?"
"A short woman with big boobs, yes," Kana says candidly.
"Watch it, short woman with big boobs," Ritsuka grunts. "...But yes, Emperor Nero is a girl. And she... looks like Mysterious Heroine X."
"Mm." Mysterious Heroine X is Chaldea's code phrase for 'existences that resemble Arturia Pendragon', something they've established since the incident with Okita Souji and her uncanny resemblence. "Has Saber noticed yet?"
"Saber just noted the unusual resemblence. We haven't tried explaining it. Not sure I want to," the older Tohsaka mutters.
"Saber tried to stab her in the face though!" Kana says, all too happily.
Roman thanks god that he hadn't taken a sip of coffee just yet, because he would have spat it all out. "What?! But we're here to make sure Emperor Nero doesn't die!"
"Yeah, see... Actually, shit, we have two Sabers on this mission. We need to have names for them that aren't their real names."
"Blue Saber and White Saber?" Kana offers.
"They are not the Power Rangers, Kana."
"But they could be!"
"I fought monsters in a quarry. once," Arturia herself says blandly. "It was awful. I'd rather not be associated with that."
"...I don't know, Saber, if you think about it the K... your chosen were basically a Super Sentai team," Mashu says.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"...We'll work on it," Ritsuka says finally. "In any case, Rainbow Saber is currently sulking after I used two Command Seals to stop her killing Nero. Incidentally, we need better Command Seals. It's a pain having to use two for every Servant with Magic Resistance A."
"Do not," Arturia says firmly.
"I second that not," Mashu adds.
"Not within my control, blame the Makiris for sucking~" Da Vinci says melodically.
"...Speaking of morally ambiguous spellcasters, how is Caster doing?" Ritsuka asks. "I feel bad for throwing that shoebox at her. Is she bitter? Should I apologise?"
"I think she's baking a cake," El Melloi II says, as he lights a new cigar.
"She is!" Da Vinci says cheerfully. "It wasn't bad. But I have at least fifty suggestions to improve on it!"
"I suppose baking is another of your genius-level skills?" Roman asks tiredly.
"Of course! If it's something humans have done, I can do it perfectly!"
"...Cake?"
--
Clad in an apron and wearing a cloth over her ears, Atalanta places a tray of recently-baked test cake on the countertop with a thud. "ALRIGHT, twelveth time's the charm, 'Dea!"
"Oh! Thank you, Atalanta." Caster floats over to her, one hand drifting over the Archer's head. Atalanta grunts and bats it aside quickly. "Sorry, force of habit."
"I never had these ears on the Argo there is no habit."
"Oh, oh!" Marie raises her hand and waves it, her other hand resting on the countertop. "Atalanta, may I?"
"I'm not a housecat to be toyed with, dammit! STOP TOUCHING ME!" She slaps Medea's hand away again. "Swear to Artemis, 'Dea, do that again and I'm going to shoot you!"
Medea of Colchis smiles brightly despite the threat, for with her new ears and tail nothing Atalanta does could ever be anything but cute again. She sets Atalanta's tray before Marie, still smiling. "Here you go~"
Marie looks at the tray, mouth already watering but wearing a troubled expression. "M...Me-Medea... It smells so good, but... if I eat anymore I'm going to get faaaaaat!"
"Not to worry," the Princess says proudly. She pulls a small vial from her dress, filled with a clear liquid. "This elixir will ensure that you will only gain calories in the places that matter!"
"Princess Medea of Colchis YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF! Hand it over!"
"...Item Creation really is something, isn't it," Atalanta says, giving it a dirty look. "But to begin with, we're Servants, right? We don't gain weight."
Marie, who was looking at the vial with excitement, abruptly snaps to the Lioness. "Whaaaaaaat?! But then what's the point of gorging on twelve trays of cake?!"
"To start with shouldn't you limit yourself to a single slice? για χάρη, french people..."
Medea shrugs and pockets it again. "No matter, I'll just slip it into Master Kana's food at some point."
"I'm pretty sure that's a horrible idea," Atalanta says dryly.
"Don't worry," Medea says proudly, "It's fully tasteless and odourless. Truly, I've outdone myself."
"...I give up, you do you." Atalanta bats Medea's hand away again. "Seriously, I will shoot you."
Marie takes a bite of cake, and promptly nearly falls off the high chair. She stays on, but only because she has the Riding skill. Apparently chairs count. "Mmmm! Miam! This is it, Medea! C'est fameux! It's so good!" Marie turns around when she hears the doors open, and spots a muscly knight enter. "Leonidas, come! Have a piece!"
"Hm? A piece?" The King frowns as he joins her at the counter. "I smell... sweets? Cake?"
"Oh?" Cu pokes his head through the door. "You made more!"
"Medea and Atalanta made it!" The Queen of France pushes the tray to him and hands him a spoon. "Here! Try some!"
"Hmph. In Sparta, we would not have 'cakes'. The only cakes we knew was the mud that clung to our sandals." Leonidas pounds his chest and raises his spear skyward. "Leave the delicacy for the Athenians. I shall have myself a man's meal, the black blood of Sparta!"
All the women in the kitchen look at him, expressions ranging from confusion to disgust. Cu just claps politely, admiring another man's show of glory.
Medea pushes the tray closer to Leonidas with some magic. "Well, are you going to try some?" She asks, tone icy.
"Mm. Perhaps. This will be yet more training, to steel my soul." With little fanfare Leonidas gouges out a fist-sized chunk from the tray with his bare hand and shoves it into his mouth, Cu nodding as he looks on. Leonidas chews quickly and swallows, willfully ignoring the horrified looks on every woman's face. He swallows, and works his jaw to get rid of the bits stuck in his teeth.
"Well?" Medea asks.
Leonidas sucks on his teeth thoughtfully. "It is like ambrosia, the nectar of the gods," the King of Sparta says with a nod. "Mm. I do not dislike it."
Medea nods. "High praise, from a Spartan."
"However, the sweetness is overpowering. Counteract it with some saltiness, perhaps, or maybe reduce your sugar ratios. Too much sugar can turn to bitterness on the tongue."
Medea looks at him with a confused frown. "Wait, what?"
"I am a Spartan," Leonidas says as he stands up, "But I am not a moron." He bows respectfully to both Atalanta and Medea. "Hail, Atalanta and Medea. And hail to you, Marie Antoinette. If you need me, I will be punching a waterfall."
Leonidas leaves as mysteriously as he came, the three girls looking on quietly at a loss for words. Cu shrugs and leaves as well, before he gets caught up in something stupid here. Medea opens her mouth, and then she closes it.
"...The King of Spartans just ate our cake and dropped laconic before leaving to punch a waterfall." She frowns, looking at the cake. "That's a first."
"...Yeah, I'm done for today," Atalanta sighs. She tears off both head cloth and apron and stretches her arms high over her head. "If you need me, I'll be meditating."
"I'll be in my shoebox," Medea mutters as she floats off.
"I'll..." Marie starts. She stops and looks at the tray. "...Yeah."
--
Several days later, they finally returned. As the party that went to Rome leaves the deployment chambers, slightly singed and tattered, they find Medea standing before them, a massive cake floating before her, and Marie, Atalanta, and d'Eon standing with her.
"...I made cake to apologise," the Caster says simply. And indeed, what a cake it is. Three layers stacked one after another, lavishly slathered with whipped cream and topped with aesthetically pleasing strawberries, it smelled like heaven and probably tasted better. It floats closer to Ritsuka and Saber, cutting two pieces out of itself. "Do accept my apologies for my conduct a few days ago, Master... And Saber."
"Where's my cake?" Kana whines. Another slice cuts itself out and floats over to her. "Yay," she quietly cheers, tired but happy.
Ritsuka looks at the cake, an elaborate labour of love for sure. It definitely looks good to eat. Unfortunately, the last thing he wants is something sweet. "Apologies accepted, Caster," he yawns. "I'll pass on the cake though. Who wants some?"
Arturia, Kana, Herakles, and Attila raise their hands. EMIYA does nothing, just looking at the cake with his grey eyes. "It looks good," he says with a raised eyebrow. "But good enough to eat?"
The Witch of Colchis looks gloomily at Archer. "First you betray me, now you criticise me. You wound me, Archer."
"What can I say? A hero always strives to better themselves – no matter how painful. I merely serve to facilitate that."
"Then why don't I try that on you?"
"Ah, but Caster. I'm no hero..." Archer shrugs, palms facing upwards. "I am only a man. My lot has already been decided."
"And your lot is cake." Ritsuka's slice floats over to the boy's father. "Now eat."
The Counter Guardian traces a fork and digs out a small piece to chew on. He muses on the taste and nods. "I've done better."
Arturia takes a bite out of her own slice and nods promptly. "It's true. He has," she says, completely sincere, but it is still the most cruel thing the King of Knights has ever said to the witch. Nonetheless, she takes another bite.
Kana takes a bite too, but she gives an appreciative thumbs up. "It's good, Caster! Thanks!" Noticing Caster's hopeful look her smile wilts. "...Sorry, I can't lie. Still good though!"
Medea sighs and shakes her head. Beside her, both Atalanta and Marie pat her on the back. She grits her teeth and points at Archer. "Prove it, then! Make something better!"
"Uh," Ritsuka says, "Guys, could we not--"
"I approve," Arturia nods, and so it is.
--
A few hours later, Caster is on her knees as Archer hands out slices of cake to every Servant and staff member in Chaldea. The result was an overwhelming victory for the Counter Guardian, flawless chef in all respects.
"This... Is impossible," Medea gasps, her knees weak from having tasted his work. "Nobody... Nobody should be so good...!"
"And indeed, I am nobody," Archer says with a smile. He snifs significantly, and points at his nose. "Your loss, Caster."
As Medea curses her defeat and swears vengeance, off in the distance, Ritsuka and Kana sit alone, far away enough for no one to hear them. It has to be like this. No one else must know or hear what they are talking about. The fallout could be immense.
"You know," Kana says while chewing, "This isn't as good as what dad made for us when we left."
"Shut up, idiot," Ritsuka hisses. "No one must ever know."
"You know," Arturia says loudly from amidst the crowds of Servants, "While this is good, Red Archer, Shirou has made better."
"I am quite rusty," Archer remarks casually.
As Caster's choler rises and she swears even greater vengeance, Ritsuka slaps his head as Kana laughs. The twinkle in Arturia's eyes can only mean that she knew exactly what she was doing, too.
So begins the Chaldean Food Wars.
The third is Doctor Romani Archaman, acting Director of Chaldea by dint of literally-everyone-above-him-dying. But he's doing a fine enough job that no one has attempted a coup. Yet.
Not that anyone would want this job. Case in point: what is going on in Rome right now.
"Say again? You are saying Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar is a woman?"
"A short woman with big boobs, yes," Kana says candidly.
"Watch it, short woman with big boobs," Ritsuka grunts. "...But yes, Emperor Nero is a girl. And she... looks like Mysterious Heroine X."
"Mm." Mysterious Heroine X is Chaldea's code phrase for 'existences that resemble Arturia Pendragon', something they've established since the incident with Okita Souji and her uncanny resemblence. "Has Saber noticed yet?"
"Saber just noted the unusual resemblence. We haven't tried explaining it. Not sure I want to," the older Tohsaka mutters.
"Saber tried to stab her in the face though!" Kana says, all too happily.
Roman thanks god that he hadn't taken a sip of coffee just yet, because he would have spat it all out. "What?! But we're here to make sure Emperor Nero doesn't die!"
"Yeah, see... Actually, shit, we have two Sabers on this mission. We need to have names for them that aren't their real names."
"Blue Saber and White Saber?" Kana offers.
"They are not the Power Rangers, Kana."
"But they could be!"
"I fought monsters in a quarry. once," Arturia herself says blandly. "It was awful. I'd rather not be associated with that."
"...I don't know, Saber, if you think about it the K... your chosen were basically a Super Sentai team," Mashu says.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"...We'll work on it," Ritsuka says finally. "In any case, Rainbow Saber is currently sulking after I used two Command Seals to stop her killing Nero. Incidentally, we need better Command Seals. It's a pain having to use two for every Servant with Magic Resistance A."
"Do not," Arturia says firmly.
"I second that not," Mashu adds.
"Not within my control, blame the Makiris for sucking~" Da Vinci says melodically.
"...Speaking of morally ambiguous spellcasters, how is Caster doing?" Ritsuka asks. "I feel bad for throwing that shoebox at her. Is she bitter? Should I apologise?"
"I think she's baking a cake," El Melloi II says, as he lights a new cigar.
"She is!" Da Vinci says cheerfully. "It wasn't bad. But I have at least fifty suggestions to improve on it!"
"I suppose baking is another of your genius-level skills?" Roman asks tiredly.
"Of course! If it's something humans have done, I can do it perfectly!"
"...Cake?"
--
Clad in an apron and wearing a cloth over her ears, Atalanta places a tray of recently-baked test cake on the countertop with a thud. "ALRIGHT, twelveth time's the charm, 'Dea!"
"Oh! Thank you, Atalanta." Caster floats over to her, one hand drifting over the Archer's head. Atalanta grunts and bats it aside quickly. "Sorry, force of habit."
"I never had these ears on the Argo there is no habit."
"Oh, oh!" Marie raises her hand and waves it, her other hand resting on the countertop. "Atalanta, may I?"
"I'm not a housecat to be toyed with, dammit! STOP TOUCHING ME!" She slaps Medea's hand away again. "Swear to Artemis, 'Dea, do that again and I'm going to shoot you!"
Medea of Colchis smiles brightly despite the threat, for with her new ears and tail nothing Atalanta does could ever be anything but cute again. She sets Atalanta's tray before Marie, still smiling. "Here you go~"
Marie looks at the tray, mouth already watering but wearing a troubled expression. "M...Me-Medea... It smells so good, but... if I eat anymore I'm going to get faaaaaat!"
"Not to worry," the Princess says proudly. She pulls a small vial from her dress, filled with a clear liquid. "This elixir will ensure that you will only gain calories in the places that matter!"
"Princess Medea of Colchis YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF! Hand it over!"
"...Item Creation really is something, isn't it," Atalanta says, giving it a dirty look. "But to begin with, we're Servants, right? We don't gain weight."
Marie, who was looking at the vial with excitement, abruptly snaps to the Lioness. "Whaaaaaaat?! But then what's the point of gorging on twelve trays of cake?!"
"To start with shouldn't you limit yourself to a single slice? για χάρη, french people..."
Medea shrugs and pockets it again. "No matter, I'll just slip it into Master Kana's food at some point."
"I'm pretty sure that's a horrible idea," Atalanta says dryly.
"Don't worry," Medea says proudly, "It's fully tasteless and odourless. Truly, I've outdone myself."
"...I give up, you do you." Atalanta bats Medea's hand away again. "Seriously, I will shoot you."
Marie takes a bite of cake, and promptly nearly falls off the high chair. She stays on, but only because she has the Riding skill. Apparently chairs count. "Mmmm! Miam! This is it, Medea! C'est fameux! It's so good!" Marie turns around when she hears the doors open, and spots a muscly knight enter. "Leonidas, come! Have a piece!"
"Hm? A piece?" The King frowns as he joins her at the counter. "I smell... sweets? Cake?"
"Oh?" Cu pokes his head through the door. "You made more!"
"Medea and Atalanta made it!" The Queen of France pushes the tray to him and hands him a spoon. "Here! Try some!"
"Hmph. In Sparta, we would not have 'cakes'. The only cakes we knew was the mud that clung to our sandals." Leonidas pounds his chest and raises his spear skyward. "Leave the delicacy for the Athenians. I shall have myself a man's meal, the black blood of Sparta!"
All the women in the kitchen look at him, expressions ranging from confusion to disgust. Cu just claps politely, admiring another man's show of glory.
Medea pushes the tray closer to Leonidas with some magic. "Well, are you going to try some?" She asks, tone icy.
"Mm. Perhaps. This will be yet more training, to steel my soul." With little fanfare Leonidas gouges out a fist-sized chunk from the tray with his bare hand and shoves it into his mouth, Cu nodding as he looks on. Leonidas chews quickly and swallows, willfully ignoring the horrified looks on every woman's face. He swallows, and works his jaw to get rid of the bits stuck in his teeth.
"Well?" Medea asks.
Leonidas sucks on his teeth thoughtfully. "It is like ambrosia, the nectar of the gods," the King of Sparta says with a nod. "Mm. I do not dislike it."
Medea nods. "High praise, from a Spartan."
"However, the sweetness is overpowering. Counteract it with some saltiness, perhaps, or maybe reduce your sugar ratios. Too much sugar can turn to bitterness on the tongue."
Medea looks at him with a confused frown. "Wait, what?"
"I am a Spartan," Leonidas says as he stands up, "But I am not a moron." He bows respectfully to both Atalanta and Medea. "Hail, Atalanta and Medea. And hail to you, Marie Antoinette. If you need me, I will be punching a waterfall."
Leonidas leaves as mysteriously as he came, the three girls looking on quietly at a loss for words. Cu shrugs and leaves as well, before he gets caught up in something stupid here. Medea opens her mouth, and then she closes it.
"...The King of Spartans just ate our cake and dropped laconic before leaving to punch a waterfall." She frowns, looking at the cake. "That's a first."
"...Yeah, I'm done for today," Atalanta sighs. She tears off both head cloth and apron and stretches her arms high over her head. "If you need me, I'll be meditating."
"I'll be in my shoebox," Medea mutters as she floats off.
"I'll..." Marie starts. She stops and looks at the tray. "...Yeah."
--
Several days later, they finally returned. As the party that went to Rome leaves the deployment chambers, slightly singed and tattered, they find Medea standing before them, a massive cake floating before her, and Marie, Atalanta, and d'Eon standing with her.
"...I made cake to apologise," the Caster says simply. And indeed, what a cake it is. Three layers stacked one after another, lavishly slathered with whipped cream and topped with aesthetically pleasing strawberries, it smelled like heaven and probably tasted better. It floats closer to Ritsuka and Saber, cutting two pieces out of itself. "Do accept my apologies for my conduct a few days ago, Master... And Saber."
"Where's my cake?" Kana whines. Another slice cuts itself out and floats over to her. "Yay," she quietly cheers, tired but happy.
Ritsuka looks at the cake, an elaborate labour of love for sure. It definitely looks good to eat. Unfortunately, the last thing he wants is something sweet. "Apologies accepted, Caster," he yawns. "I'll pass on the cake though. Who wants some?"
Arturia, Kana, Herakles, and Attila raise their hands. EMIYA does nothing, just looking at the cake with his grey eyes. "It looks good," he says with a raised eyebrow. "But good enough to eat?"
The Witch of Colchis looks gloomily at Archer. "First you betray me, now you criticise me. You wound me, Archer."
"What can I say? A hero always strives to better themselves – no matter how painful. I merely serve to facilitate that."
"Then why don't I try that on you?"
"Ah, but Caster. I'm no hero..." Archer shrugs, palms facing upwards. "I am only a man. My lot has already been decided."
"And your lot is cake." Ritsuka's slice floats over to the boy's father. "Now eat."
The Counter Guardian traces a fork and digs out a small piece to chew on. He muses on the taste and nods. "I've done better."
Arturia takes a bite out of her own slice and nods promptly. "It's true. He has," she says, completely sincere, but it is still the most cruel thing the King of Knights has ever said to the witch. Nonetheless, she takes another bite.
Kana takes a bite too, but she gives an appreciative thumbs up. "It's good, Caster! Thanks!" Noticing Caster's hopeful look her smile wilts. "...Sorry, I can't lie. Still good though!"
Medea sighs and shakes her head. Beside her, both Atalanta and Marie pat her on the back. She grits her teeth and points at Archer. "Prove it, then! Make something better!"
"Uh," Ritsuka says, "Guys, could we not--"
"I approve," Arturia nods, and so it is.
--
A few hours later, Caster is on her knees as Archer hands out slices of cake to every Servant and staff member in Chaldea. The result was an overwhelming victory for the Counter Guardian, flawless chef in all respects.
"This... Is impossible," Medea gasps, her knees weak from having tasted his work. "Nobody... Nobody should be so good...!"
"And indeed, I am nobody," Archer says with a smile. He snifs significantly, and points at his nose. "Your loss, Caster."
As Medea curses her defeat and swears vengeance, off in the distance, Ritsuka and Kana sit alone, far away enough for no one to hear them. It has to be like this. No one else must know or hear what they are talking about. The fallout could be immense.
"You know," Kana says while chewing, "This isn't as good as what dad made for us when we left."
"Shut up, idiot," Ritsuka hisses. "No one must ever know."
"You know," Arturia says loudly from amidst the crowds of Servants, "While this is good, Red Archer, Shirou has made better."
"I am quite rusty," Archer remarks casually.
As Caster's choler rises and she swears even greater vengeance, Ritsuka slaps his head as Kana laughs. The twinkle in Arturia's eyes can only mean that she knew exactly what she was doing, too.
So begins the Chaldean Food Wars.
- End Chapter Five -
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Icipall
Don't worry, we can fanfix that!
- Location
- Cold snow fields of Finland
I'm sure there's art of that, somewhere...
Actually, I think that sounds like a great idea.
Well he is, what was the term again... right, intellimacho.
I can feel the snark all the way from here.
- Location
- nuevomexicoItesigto
I wonder if I emiya alter can cook, although I doubt it very much.
it will be sad for the kids and fans of the shirou food (arturia) that the next two emiyas summoned will only eat fast food, except saber alter, she maybe enjoy it.
is a shame we still have a long time before muramasa appers.
I always wonder why he didnt appers in babylon with all the japonese servants summoned by gil, what a wasted oportunity.
it will be sad for the kids and fans of the shirou food (arturia) that the next two emiyas summoned will only eat fast food, except saber alter, she maybe enjoy it.
is a shame we still have a long time before muramasa appers.
I always wonder why he didnt appers in babylon with all the japonese servants summoned by gil, what a wasted oportunity.
Plurk-goers on Mordred said:
taovkool
Forever Gone
- Location
- The Library, Department of General Works
Huh.
That reminds me, wasn't there some crossover between Fate and Shokugeki somewhere in FF? I wonder how that's doing.
Sooo, does this referencing something about certain killer bunny or....
That's Galahad talking, isn't he?
She even got Super Mode! Which, incidentally, came with less armor, which kinda breaks convention, but eh.
Being Makiri was suffering.
So... Perfect Maid?
"I. Declare. You. Shall. Be. My. Lioness. Pet!"
"I REFUSE! I SHALL NOT-"
(Sadly, Nero's myth including strangle a lion in public. Por 'Lanta never stood a chance)
What, coffee? Blood pudding?
"Well, of course. Good stimulants with no side effects hard to came by in my time, and being wasteful on edibles is a crime. No matter the time."
"Also, having good field ration will make warrior life more bearable. Not the most glorious job, but that's why I am the king."
Ooooh, fighting words, there.
That's definitely fighting words.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Yup. Says the guy whose personal ideals: "These hands will never reach anything."
Standing ♪
On the edge ♪
Of imperfection ♪
Looking at ideals ♪
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Mizu
Software Developer
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
based off
Archer, Shirou has
Why are they even keeping the name convention thing going here? They're not facing a bunch of enemy Master who might take advantage of knowing the summoned Servant's identity, after all. They should be pulling an Apocrypha and dropping the 'keep names hidden' concept entirely, imo.
I really want to know why she did this. Unless it's a referral to the canon event of a summoned Attila trying to squish Nero (and Rome in the process)?
- Location
- Singapore
It's just good OPSEC, I think. No sense assuming the enemy already knows and just handing it to them on a silver platter. Though they might not bother now with Lev dead.
As for the second, it's mythical resonance. Attila considers Rome to be Bad Civilisation, and is compelled to destroy it. They spent most of Rome on the outskirts of civilisation, to avoid another major outbreak.
Also, in case of several different version of same heroes. Like Arturia and Arthur (Prototype) and Arturia (Alter Saber) and Arturia (Lancer) and Arturia (Swimsuit). In this case, though, military-inspired, obfuscating codenames might be preferable.
Actually there is an official Fate cooking anime called "Emiya-san Chi no Kyou no Gohan". Right now only the first episode is out.
TimeDiver
Herald of Dis Lev
- Location
- In-between the parallel worlds...
...
Oh, wow.
Medea really has a grudge against Kana (for indirectly wrecking her Temple?)
Miss Wanna-Be-An-Eternal-Tomboy already has a complex about her figure.
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- Location
- Singapore
Nah, it's just a small joke. Kana would probably be scurred and cry a bit, and then she'd give her the antidote, and then they laugh a bit, and then Kana piledrives Medea into the ground. Good fun!
TimeDiver
Herald of Dis Lev
- Location
- In-between the parallel worlds...
Given Kana's liking for video games; generic pile driver, or Final Atomic Buster?
- Location
- Singapore
Mike Haggar.
- Location
- Singapore
Next update will be tomorrow, as per normal
It may either be golden or red we'll see
It may either be golden or red we'll see
- Location
- United States
Obviously they'll summon Giles as a caster with several Saberfaces in attendance. Man would explode in to prisms at the sight.
Icipall
Don't worry, we can fanfix that!
- Location
- Cold snow fields of Finland
Nah, he's eyes would just finally pop out of his skull.
More than it already has?Nah, he's eyes would just finally pop out of his skull.
EDIT:
Oh you mean out of his sockets.
Yeah that sounds fun.
TheBleachDoctor
Secretly a Cat
- Location
- The Plane of Infinite Kittens
- Pronouns
- She/Her
You teased potential gender bender.
I have high expectations. :3
I have high expectations. :3
meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
- Location
- Far East Asia
It's what Westerners call "some stew whose broth is made from pig's blood with vinegar". The blood turns black when cooked, thus the name. I do think it originated in the Roman area...What, coffee? Blood pudding?
It's rather good too, IMO.
P.S. It's called "dinuguan" back in my country.
Chapter Six - Pt. 1
- Location
- Singapore
Emiya Shirou never thought he would find a chance like this.
In his time, when he made that compact with Alaya, he expected an eternity of service, salvation in the name of the human order. He found eternal slaughter, a headsman's job of execution without end. One of many faceless heroes, a hopeless existence that could only kill and kill, never save.
It drove him mad, betrayed by the ideals that let him face death at the gallows with a smile. And when he returned to the Grail War that defined his path, face to face with his younger idiotic self, he resolved to kill him and spare him this torment. And if it had even the slightest chance of freeing him from damnable, grey existence... All the better.
But he endured. He stood by his ideals. And he won in the end, tempered, wiser, and equipped to avoid the mistakes of the future.
The man who was once Emiya Shirou simply trusted in him from that point on. He put his faith in the girl he loved, and returned to slaughter with newfound resolve. He, too, would do his best.
...Returning to that timeline, and witnessing the fruits of his belief, was never in the cards. But here he is.
Saber, the King of Knights, sets down her steaming cup of green tea with a satisfied sigh. She was wearing her casual attire, the blouse and skirt that Rin lent her at the start of the War. Did they have those in stock, or did she have them made? "So, Red Archer," she asks, eyebrow raised as she smiles thoughtfully at him, "Have you done your best?"
Archer smirks as he sups at his beer, slouched back on the couch. "As well as a faker like me could ever hope," he laughs. "And you, Saber?"
--
--
His arrival in Chaldea was one event amidst a veritable whirlwind, bombarding him constantly with new information. His arrival, right after the King of Knights he loved as a boy. Being summoned by his own children with Rin – twins, at that, one of them given the crest at such a young age. Meeting Lancer, who remembered everything. Taunting Lancer, just to test their relation. Getting into a fight with Lancer, which nearly turned fatal again. And then losing to Berserker again, that same black giant that nearly split him in half in his youth.
And then there was Rome, the day later. Sweet, merciful Rome. It was, ah... quite the battle. A simple blacksmith like himself has no place in such grand battlefields. But here we are.
Saber nods, sitting neatly with her legs tucked in. Prim and proper, like she always is. "Quite well, yes. The cake you made the other day was excellent."
"You flatter me," Archer smiles. It is no humble brag. They both know that he can do better. Or, rather, 'he' can do better. Emiya Shirou has no idea what Emiya Shirou has done ever since the end of the Fifth War, but if he has had two children with Rin... Well, she might have actually succeeded in teaching his stupid self the meaning of self worth. "What happened to you after the Fifth War?"
"Rin made a contract with me, and I lived with her and Shirou ever since as their familiar."
Archer raises his eyebrow. It would surprise him, but if anyone could do something so audacious it would be Rin. He takes another sip of beer. This brand tastes terrible, but he'll have it anyways. "Oh? Is that why our Masters refer to you as auntie?"
"Indeed," Arturia nods, "I was named their godmother, and I helped raise them. It wasn't much; I simply minded them when Shirou was away and Rin was busy with her research."
"I see."
"Yes."
They sit there, in relative silence, the both of them trying to tune out the muffled kareoke happening a few rooms away. These rooms need better soundproofing, Archer decides. "What happened after the Fifth War, then?" He asks. "I don't need a full sequence of events. I doubt its relevant."
Saber smiles. "Well, I suppose we should start with the children..."
--
"...So," the man says, laying in bed and looking up at the ceiling. "That happened."
"Yes," the woman beside him says, also looking upwards and hugging his arm. "That did."
They lay there in bed for a long time, not sure what else to say. What else is there to say. It simply happened. Deep down, the woman scolded herself for just doing it. This was reckless. It was the height of irresponsibility. She should have discussed this with Shirou first. Dammit, what will happen if he can't keep his promise? Idiot, idiot!
She starts hitting his arm, but Shirou just takes it. After all... They just did something dumb. "...So I guess you regret it after all."
"No, idiot! You're an idiot!"
"That explains nothing," he says laconically. Emiya Shirou has gotten very good at cutting through bullshit in the years since the War. He rolls over to face her, conveniently laying down on one of her hands. "... Not that I'm complaining, but what was that about?"
"...Well..." She says nothing, just looking at him. Her face is red. Her heart is pumping. Dammit dammit dammit, what now? How is she supposed to explain this? It was supposed to be a secret plan... Except it won't work unless he knows! Gah! She messed up a detail again! "... I mean... You're leaving tomorrow, and..."
"Tohsaka." Shirou looks at her, smiling in that way that always just makes her heart skip a beat. "I'll come back this time too. I promised, right?"
"I-I know! But every time you come back more and more hurt, and I don't like it! You're just going to hurt yourself again, until you can't even come back!"
"I'll come back. I promise. But I have to do this."
"No, you don't." There are tears welling in her eyes. Angry tears. Fearful tears. "There's always someone to save. Somewhere under attack. You don't have to go every time, you know?"
"Tohsaka..."
"Shut up. You're becoming like him. He told me to not let you become like him." She leans forward, putting her head in his broad chest. It was nice and safe here, even though she knew she should be mad. "I'm scared you'll become like him."
He puts his arm over her bare back, bringing her closer under the sheets. "I won't. You've taught me that much, Tohsaka. And Saber, too."
"I know. I made sure."
Shirou starts to ask, but Rin grabs his hand and moves it over, placing it against her belly. His eyes widen.
"It's not just me and Saber you have to come back to now," Rin says softly. "So come back, okay?"
"...Okay."
--
"...So in essence, Rin gave up," Archer says.
"Just about," Saber nods. "But it worked, I think. After that mission – I believe he took out a dark apostle operating in Vietnam, I did not join him for this – Shirou stayed home and studied law. Nine months later, Ritsuka and Kana were born."
"...I see." Archer says. That is interesting. "So, he is a practising lawyer now?"
"Yes, a prosecutor. He still embarks on a few missions, but they are few and far between," Saber says with a smile. "There's more that happened, but... I think we'll talk about that another time."
"Mmhm." Archer tries to sip his beer again, but there's nothing but air. He finished it before he knew it. "And what did you do, Saber? How did you raise them?"
"I minded them when Shirou and Rin were away," Saber nods. "I even taught them how to fight," she adds proudly. "They have a natural instinct for it! If they were presented to me in Camelot, I'd have happily inducted them as squires!"
"Mm, speaking of," Archer adds, "Have you been to Cornwall since? There are the ruins of Camelot."
Saber looks away. "...Yes. We don't speak of it."
"Is it because--"
"It is perfectly legitimate to introduce yourself as Arthur, King of the Britons when you are Arthur, King of the Britons. They overreacted."
"I'm sure," Archer says with a smirk. He stands up, taking his can and Saber's empty cup too. "Well, we've been here long enough. Shall we go, Saber?"
"Yes, we should." She stands, gently straightening her skirt as well. "I should check in on Ritsuka. Do you have an appointment, Archer?"
"There is something I wished to check," EMIYA says. He nods at her. "I will take my leave, Saber."
In his time, when he made that compact with Alaya, he expected an eternity of service, salvation in the name of the human order. He found eternal slaughter, a headsman's job of execution without end. One of many faceless heroes, a hopeless existence that could only kill and kill, never save.
It drove him mad, betrayed by the ideals that let him face death at the gallows with a smile. And when he returned to the Grail War that defined his path, face to face with his younger idiotic self, he resolved to kill him and spare him this torment. And if it had even the slightest chance of freeing him from damnable, grey existence... All the better.
But he endured. He stood by his ideals. And he won in the end, tempered, wiser, and equipped to avoid the mistakes of the future.
The man who was once Emiya Shirou simply trusted in him from that point on. He put his faith in the girl he loved, and returned to slaughter with newfound resolve. He, too, would do his best.
...Returning to that timeline, and witnessing the fruits of his belief, was never in the cards. But here he is.
Saber, the King of Knights, sets down her steaming cup of green tea with a satisfied sigh. She was wearing her casual attire, the blouse and skirt that Rin lent her at the start of the War. Did they have those in stock, or did she have them made? "So, Red Archer," she asks, eyebrow raised as she smiles thoughtfully at him, "Have you done your best?"
Archer smirks as he sups at his beer, slouched back on the couch. "As well as a faker like me could ever hope," he laughs. "And you, Saber?"
--
Humanity burned in 2026
The only way to save them is to turn back the clock
Save the past to save the present
But when you have a time machine you have all the time in the world
So take it slow, have some tea
Maybe stab your stupid sister in the face, just a thought
All this and more, in...
FATE/SUNNY ORDER
The only way to save them is to turn back the clock
Save the past to save the present
But when you have a time machine you have all the time in the world
So take it slow, have some tea
Maybe stab your stupid sister in the face, just a thought
All this and more, in...
FATE/SUNNY ORDER
--
His arrival in Chaldea was one event amidst a veritable whirlwind, bombarding him constantly with new information. His arrival, right after the King of Knights he loved as a boy. Being summoned by his own children with Rin – twins, at that, one of them given the crest at such a young age. Meeting Lancer, who remembered everything. Taunting Lancer, just to test their relation. Getting into a fight with Lancer, which nearly turned fatal again. And then losing to Berserker again, that same black giant that nearly split him in half in his youth.
And then there was Rome, the day later. Sweet, merciful Rome. It was, ah... quite the battle. A simple blacksmith like himself has no place in such grand battlefields. But here we are.
Saber nods, sitting neatly with her legs tucked in. Prim and proper, like she always is. "Quite well, yes. The cake you made the other day was excellent."
"You flatter me," Archer smiles. It is no humble brag. They both know that he can do better. Or, rather, 'he' can do better. Emiya Shirou has no idea what Emiya Shirou has done ever since the end of the Fifth War, but if he has had two children with Rin... Well, she might have actually succeeded in teaching his stupid self the meaning of self worth. "What happened to you after the Fifth War?"
"Rin made a contract with me, and I lived with her and Shirou ever since as their familiar."
Archer raises his eyebrow. It would surprise him, but if anyone could do something so audacious it would be Rin. He takes another sip of beer. This brand tastes terrible, but he'll have it anyways. "Oh? Is that why our Masters refer to you as auntie?"
"Indeed," Arturia nods, "I was named their godmother, and I helped raise them. It wasn't much; I simply minded them when Shirou was away and Rin was busy with her research."
"I see."
"Yes."
They sit there, in relative silence, the both of them trying to tune out the muffled kareoke happening a few rooms away. These rooms need better soundproofing, Archer decides. "What happened after the Fifth War, then?" He asks. "I don't need a full sequence of events. I doubt its relevant."
Saber smiles. "Well, I suppose we should start with the children..."
--
"...So," the man says, laying in bed and looking up at the ceiling. "That happened."
"Yes," the woman beside him says, also looking upwards and hugging his arm. "That did."
They lay there in bed for a long time, not sure what else to say. What else is there to say. It simply happened. Deep down, the woman scolded herself for just doing it. This was reckless. It was the height of irresponsibility. She should have discussed this with Shirou first. Dammit, what will happen if he can't keep his promise? Idiot, idiot!
She starts hitting his arm, but Shirou just takes it. After all... They just did something dumb. "...So I guess you regret it after all."
"No, idiot! You're an idiot!"
"That explains nothing," he says laconically. Emiya Shirou has gotten very good at cutting through bullshit in the years since the War. He rolls over to face her, conveniently laying down on one of her hands. "... Not that I'm complaining, but what was that about?"
"...Well..." She says nothing, just looking at him. Her face is red. Her heart is pumping. Dammit dammit dammit, what now? How is she supposed to explain this? It was supposed to be a secret plan... Except it won't work unless he knows! Gah! She messed up a detail again! "... I mean... You're leaving tomorrow, and..."
"Tohsaka." Shirou looks at her, smiling in that way that always just makes her heart skip a beat. "I'll come back this time too. I promised, right?"
"I-I know! But every time you come back more and more hurt, and I don't like it! You're just going to hurt yourself again, until you can't even come back!"
"I'll come back. I promise. But I have to do this."
"No, you don't." There are tears welling in her eyes. Angry tears. Fearful tears. "There's always someone to save. Somewhere under attack. You don't have to go every time, you know?"
"Tohsaka..."
"Shut up. You're becoming like him. He told me to not let you become like him." She leans forward, putting her head in his broad chest. It was nice and safe here, even though she knew she should be mad. "I'm scared you'll become like him."
He puts his arm over her bare back, bringing her closer under the sheets. "I won't. You've taught me that much, Tohsaka. And Saber, too."
"I know. I made sure."
Shirou starts to ask, but Rin grabs his hand and moves it over, placing it against her belly. His eyes widen.
"It's not just me and Saber you have to come back to now," Rin says softly. "So come back, okay?"
"...Okay."
--
"...So in essence, Rin gave up," Archer says.
"Just about," Saber nods. "But it worked, I think. After that mission – I believe he took out a dark apostle operating in Vietnam, I did not join him for this – Shirou stayed home and studied law. Nine months later, Ritsuka and Kana were born."
"...I see." Archer says. That is interesting. "So, he is a practising lawyer now?"
"Yes, a prosecutor. He still embarks on a few missions, but they are few and far between," Saber says with a smile. "There's more that happened, but... I think we'll talk about that another time."
"Mmhm." Archer tries to sip his beer again, but there's nothing but air. He finished it before he knew it. "And what did you do, Saber? How did you raise them?"
"I minded them when Shirou and Rin were away," Saber nods. "I even taught them how to fight," she adds proudly. "They have a natural instinct for it! If they were presented to me in Camelot, I'd have happily inducted them as squires!"
"Mm, speaking of," Archer adds, "Have you been to Cornwall since? There are the ruins of Camelot."
Saber looks away. "...Yes. We don't speak of it."
"Is it because--"
"It is perfectly legitimate to introduce yourself as Arthur, King of the Britons when you are Arthur, King of the Britons. They overreacted."
"I'm sure," Archer says with a smirk. He stands up, taking his can and Saber's empty cup too. "Well, we've been here long enough. Shall we go, Saber?"
"Yes, we should." She stands, gently straightening her skirt as well. "I should check in on Ritsuka. Do you have an appointment, Archer?"
"There is something I wished to check," EMIYA says. He nods at her. "I will take my leave, Saber."
- Location
- The Surface Of A Hostile Planet
D'aww. This is practically everything EMIYA wanted.
MooGoesCow21
Just Listen to me....
- Location
- US Washington
It's gonna be funny when Ishtar is summoned
Icipall
Don't worry, we can fanfix that!
- Location
- Cold snow fields of Finland
How many daggers do you want, or maybe something more exotic? I have this fine kukri here, waiting to be used.
Tsundere, Rank: EX
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAA!!!
And Muramasa.