...I didn't really take this into consideration but it really is a good point. Ritsuka definitely doesn't have 100% compatibility with all his Servants, and Kana might get along better but she's also not canon!Ritsuka levels of magnetic either. They're better magi to compensate - mostly Ritsuka in this regard but Kana's circuits are actually better than his - but that can be a downside depending on the Servant.

I should explore this in a singularity chapter. :thonk:
ARE YOU AN OPPRESSOR?
 
...I didn't really take this into consideration but it really is a good point. Ritsuka definitely doesn't have 100% compatibility with all his Servants, and Kana might get along better but she's also not canon!Ritsuka levels of magnetic either. They're better magi to compensate - mostly Ritsuka in this regard but Kana's circuits are actually better than his - but that can be a downside depending on the Servant.

I should explore this in a singularity chapter. :thonk:

Speaking of singularity chapters I cant wait to see how you overhaul Septem because as much "fun" as Everybody Loves Nero was the whole Roman civil war setting actually has potential(especially if you flip Boudica to the anti-Nero side cause that makes FAR more sense)
 
The feathers are a bit much and those earrings make his head look narrower than it should. The earrings are an especial sin since a king should either know how to accessorize or have people to advise him on it. As it is he looks like a trollop.
It's a cosplay of Ragyo Kiryuin from Kill la Kill, who, is, well, busty as hell and loves to show her stuff with crazy outfits.

Also, she molests her own daughters, mind-rapes one of them to brainwash her (with undertones of actual rape), is extremely difficult to kill short of straight-up obliteration or knowing the trick to permanently injuring her (and having the right weapons to do the job) and is basically Queen Zeal from Chrono Trigger except even worse. Pleasant woman.[/sarcasm]
 
Last edited:
It's a cosplay of Ragyo Kiryuin from Kill la Kill, who, is, well, busty as hell and loves to show her stuff with crazy outfits.

Also, she molests her own daughters, mind-rapes one of them to brainwash her (with undertones of actual rape), is extremely difficult to kill short of straight-up obliteration or knowing the trick to permanently injuring her (and having the right weapons to do the job) and is basically Queen Zeal from Chrono Trigger except even worse. Pleasant woman.[/sarcasm]
That does nothing to change the fact that those earrings and feathers taken together make Gilgamesh look like a cheap hooker.
 
Chapter Thirteen - Pt. 1
"KANA YOU STUPID THOT WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

The sheer rage, volume, and hot air that carried the statement brought it through the cavernous halls of Chaldea, and nearly everyone heard it. From the command center to the duelling rooms to the spatial disjunctional space used for more impressive exercises, everyone heard Ritsuka Tohsaka's agonised wail.

They also heard the extremely loud crunch that followed it, as his sister, the infamous Kana Tohsaka, punched him in the face and into the wall behind him. Were it not for his top-notch circuits, his excellent reflexes, his extensive training and the fact he saw this coming, he might be dead and she might be left with his workload. Not ideal for either of them.

Still, as Ritsuka leaps off the ground and Kana wrings her bruised and cut fist, she glares harshly at him. "God dammit Rits you know I hate that word! What is the big stick up your butthole this time?!"

"Blackbeard just walked into the library with a fucking weeb shirt on holding glowsticks and shouting that he wants to see Marie's panties that's the big stick you BEWITCHING MEGATHOT!" She throws another punch on reflex but Ritsuka throws her to the ground instead. "YOU GOT YOUR ONE HIT IN WOMAN NOW OWN YOUR SINS!"

The red haze lifts as his words are finally processed, and Kana pales significantly. "Oh. Oh no." She clutches at her head with her other hand. "I just showed him one series how did it go so wrong."

"YOU SHOWED HIM FUCKING EROMANGA SENSEI!"

"IT WAS A JOKE!"

At opposite ends of the corridor, Servants, staff, and automata alike slip back behind the walls and carry on with their business while drawing as little attention to themselves as possible. Elsewhere, Blackbeard's rampage continues as all efforts at containment are stymied by a bored King of Heroes. Truly, idle hands are the devil's workshop.

All in all, this day is only slightly weirder than usual for Chaldea.

----

Humanity died in 2026 to the Incineration

In all likelihood they deserved it, the fucking deviants

Now Chaldea seeks to undo the purification by any means

Resolving the snarls in history with immense violence and zero care for collateral damage

Frankly speaking we don't know why no one's stopping them

Sometimes genocide is the answer

In any case Kana is a monster

Send help to…

FATE/SUNNY ORDER

----

Mashu Kyrielight, Demiservant Shielder and the most precious secretary one could have, burst into the largest office in Chaldea visibly winded. Considering the stamina someone gifted with the powers of a Servant should have - that is to say infinite stamina - it either means Ritsuka and Kana are dead, or she is really exerting herself... Though, by right it will lead into the first. And that is a frightening thought. "Doctor! You have to stop them, they're fighting!"

Romani Archaman, currently forced to be Director of Chaldea and also the seat to a very tired fluffy monster, looks away from his episode of Love Live and stops the video for a second. "It's alright, Mashu," he says encouragingly, "Blackbeard is currently under control. And we have Leonidas guarding the passages into the Women's Bunks."

She shakes her head vigorously and her hair goes everywhere. "No, not him! I'm not scared of Blackbeard! I mean Ritsuka and Kana! They're fighting right now!" She dives across his desk - Roman yelps and nearly hurls Fou off - and grabs the remote. She flicks through the channels, a different 3D projection flickering over his desk - most of them showing scenes of Blackbeard's rampage or the aftermath - until they reach the corridor where her Masters have met. Currently comparable in devastation to the nightmare that is Blackbeard.

Roman widens his eyes at the sight. Fou, the lazy monster, finally takes an interest in the world, just as Ritsuka punches through his sister's shitty projections and nails her straight in the throat. "See?!" Mashu wails. "You need to stop them! They'll just hurt each other!"

Doctor Roman, medically trained professional, simply sighs, works his shoulders, and turns the screen off - conveniently also turning his monitor off because the truth will only hurt her. "Mashu, sometimes these fights need to happen. Ritsuka's been very pent up, and Kana needs to learn a lesson."

Seriously, what kind of thot shows the great scourge of the seas Eromanga Sensei? It's trash by his standards. And he's anime trash!

She shakes her head again. "No, that's not true! They're just going to force themselves apart!"

"You're taking things too seriously," the doctor says gently.

"Fou…" The ball of fluff on his head coos.

"Even Fou agrees."

"...Fou." It raises one of its paws and waggles it in an undecided fashion. "Four fou…"

"...He doesn't like that he agrees, but the point is he does." Roman smiles and places both hands behind his head. "Why don't you wait here for them, Mashu? They're bound to show up here eventually, once their spat is over!"

"NO!" Mashu throws her hands up. "You just don't get it, doctor! They're--ugh! Why did I think you'd do anything, you never do anything…" She turns around and stomps off. "Good day, doctor! Enjoy your anime!"

She slams the door behind her, but to Roman it felt like his heart just shattered. Like she stepped on his heart and it shattered. With her armoured heels.

This is a disgusting line of thought but the point is he feels empty inside. Roman sighs, looking down at himself. "Was it something I said?"

"Fou…" Fou pats him gently on the forehead before going back to his nap.

"I know, it was the right call… but does Mashu hate me?" He sighs and slumps his shoulders forward. "She hates me, doesn't she?"

"Fou…"

"Maybe if I wasn't such a terrible father, I could help her… Oh, right!" Roman suddenly looks up, newly energised. Fou wakes up, rudely awakened. "There are fathers in Chaldea! I could just ask for their advice!"

"Fou!" Despite his irritation, Fou agrees. "Fou, fou!"

"Great plan! I'll go ask them!" Promptly, Roman turns his monitor back on and resumes watching.

Fou slaps him hard in the eye.

"Ow! What?! I haven't finished the episode!"

Fou slaps him hard in both eyes.

"STOP IT! MY HEAD IS ONLY FOR NON-VIOLENT ANIMALS!"

"FOUUUU!"

This carried on for quite some time. But even so, Roman knew what he had to do.

Ask for parenting advice. From some heroes.

Excellent idea.
 
First Step: Ask Arturia for father advice
Second Step: Try to end the argument of Ritsuka and Kana
Third Step: Get killed, because the advice came from someone that has never been a parent, an aunt at most
Fourth Step: ......
Fifth Step: Profit?
 
"KANA YOU STUPID THOT WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

...Now I'm sure that usually I would ask what she's done to deserve such an insult but...

"Blackbeard just walked into the library with a fucking weeb shirt on holding glowsticks and shouting that he wants to see Marie's panties that's the big stick you BEWITCHING MEGATHOT!"

The red haze lifts as his words are finally processed, and Kana pales significantly. "Oh. Oh no." She clutches at her head with her other hand. "I just showed him one series how did it go so wrong."

"YOU SHOWED HIM FUCKING EROMANGA SENSEI!"

"IT WAS A JOKE!"

...Yeah. This is appropriate, and Kana knows exactly what she did. Introducing an innocent deviant scoundrel to the lowest of trash in anime history as his first anime...

Yeah. Even as a joke she went too far. Now we all suffer from her sins.

Seriously, what kind of thot shows the great scourge of the seas Eromanga Sensei? It's trash by his standards. And he's anime trash!

Well at least Romani admits it. Though if he actually calls Kana a thot out loud I'm pretty sure he would be decked in the face by both Rits and Kana.

So watch yourself Roman. Treading on thin ice there buddy.

"Maybe if I wasn't such a terrible father, I could help her… Oh, right!" Roman suddenly looks up, newly energised. Fou wakes up, rudely awakened. "There are fathers in Chaldea! I could just ask for their advice!"

...You know, I just really like the fact that Roman acknowledges himself as Mashu's father in this. He's a terrible role model and trash incarnate, but at least he tries his best.

Ask for parenting advice. From some heroes.

...Let's see...for the qualified people that he can ask we have:

One who killed their son in the midst of a rebellion and refused to acknowledge them as their child.

One who killed their son in the midst of a battle because their son was cursed to never reveal their identity or refuse a challenge.

One who lead a people who's whole way of life was the survival of the fittest and regularly practiced throwing children off of cliffs if they had any kind of deformity.

One who was tricked into killing their children by a scorned Goddess.

...and one who technically isn't a father, but also is because reasons. And also is known as a great mother.

...I mean I'm not saying that there's only one real choice here, but...
 
First up for dad advice?

Cu!!
Cu: "Fight her to the death while never learning of her identity it's what I'd do"

Roman: "But I already know she's my daughter-figure"

Cu: "Shit okay new plan she's a girl and you have a dick right"

Roman: "OH GOD NO"

Cu: "What no I mean you pair her up with Ritsuka god I'm a terrible father not a terrible person"

EMIYA: "You're both!"

Cu: "Shut up woman this is father business"

Roman: "I'm just going to ask Leonidas if that's alright with you"
 
They also heard the extremely loud crunch that followed it, as his sister, the infamous Kana Tohsaka, punched him in the face and into the wall behind him. Were it not for his top-notch circuits, his excellent reflexes, his extensive training and the fact he saw this coming, he might be dead and she might be left with his workload. Not ideal for either of them.
Jesus, Kana!
"YOU SHOWED HIM FUCKING EROMANGA SENSEI!"

"IT WAS A JOKE!"

At opposite ends of the corridor, Servants, staff, and automata alike slip back behind the walls and carry on with their business while drawing as little attention to themselves as possible. Elsewhere, Blackbeard's rampage continues as all efforts at containment are stymied by a bored King of Heroes. Truly, idle hands are the devil's workshop.

Humanity died in 2026 to the Incineration

In all likelihood they deserved it, the fucking deviants

Now Chaldea seeks to undo the purification by any means

Resolving the snarls in history with immense violence and zero care for collateral damage

Frankly speaking we don't know why no one's stopping them

Sometimes genocide is the answer

In any case Kana is a monster

Send help to…

FATE/SUNNY ORDER
You can always blame Swordo god. Because it is way too late for help.
Romani Archaman, currently forced to be Director of Chaldea and also the seat to a very tired fluffy monster, looks away from his episode of Love Live and stops the video for a second. "It's alright, Mashu," he says encouragingly, "Blackbeard is currently under control. And we have Leonidas guarding the passages into the Women's Bunks."
Doctor Roman, medically trained professional, simply sighs, works his shoulders, and turns the screen off - conveniently also turning his monitor off because the truth will only hurt her. "Mashu, sometimes these fights need to happen. Ritsuka's been very pent up, and Kana needs to learn a lesson."
Romani is such a treasure. Hope nothing bad happens to him.
"I know, it was the right call… but does Mashu hate me?" He sighs and slumps his shoulders forward. "She hates me, doesn't she?"

"Fou…"

"Maybe if I wasn't such a terrible father, I could help her… Oh, right!" Roman suddenly looks up, newly energised. Fou wakes up, rudely awakened. "There are fathers in Chaldea! I could just ask for their advice!"
 
That was amazing. On which terrible parent do you think Romani is going to lose his faith in humanity?

I'm guessing it's either Gilgamesh or Leonidas.
 
... I think my response to this is going to be half comprised of links to voice lines from the Spy.

"KANA YOU STUPID THOT WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
Indeed, Kana, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
"Blackbeard just walked into the library with a fucking weeb shirt on holding glowsticks and shouting that he wants to see Marie's panties that's the big stick you BEWITCHING MEGATHOT!"
Oh, merde.
"YOU SHOWED HIM FUCKING EROMANGA SENSEI!"

"IT WAS A JOKE!"
Kana, you fool. You have released something that can never again be contained!
Seriously, what kind of thot shows the great scourge of the seas Eromanga Sensei? It's trash by his standards. And he's anime trash!
At least Roman has standards!
"Maybe if I wasn't such a terrible father, I could help her… Oh, right!" Roman suddenly looks up, newly energised. Fou wakes up, rudely awakened. "There are fathers in Chaldea! I could just ask for their advice!"
... This could go either way depending on who he asks. But I expect this to go south before it goes back up.
 
Is Eromanga-sensei really that big of a deal to show to Blackbeard?

I might need to go see it myself just to see what the big fuss is about.

That and it's always funny when Gilgamesh ruins other people's attempt at de-escalation.
 
"Blackbeard just walked into the library with a fucking weeb shirt on holding glowsticks and shouting that he wants to see Marie's panties that's the big stick you BEWITCHING MEGATHOT!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA! The scourge that even the evil of humanity denies has arrived people!
She throws another punch on reflex but Ritsuka throws her to the ground instead.
The suplexes are finally working!? It's a miracle!
"YOU SHOWED HIM FUCKING EROMANGA SENSEI!"
That's some shit taste, seriously? Eromanga sensei?
Elsewhere, Blackbeard's rampage continues as all efforts at containment are stymied by a bored King of Heroes.
Truly the King of Heroes is a Villain in all that entails.
Humanity died in 2026 to the Incineration

In all likelihood they deserved it, the fucking deviants
Trying to save mankind is a mistake... Quick show Goetia some anime and he will have a purpose now instead of just doing it for the lulz.
Doctor Roman, medically trained professional, simply sighs, works his shoulders, and turns the screen off - conveniently also turning his monitor off because the truth will only hurt her. "Mashu, sometimes these fights need to happen. Ritsuka's been very pent up, and Kana needs to learn a lesson."

Seriously, what kind of thot shows the great scourge of the seas Eromanga Sensei? It's trash by his standards. And he's anime trash!
He should know of trash, after all he likes Magi☆Mari.
"Fou…" The ball of fluff on his head coos.

"Even Fou agrees."

"...Fou." It raises one of its paws and waggles it in an undecided fashion. "Four fou…"
Somebody call Merlin, the evil of mankind is trying to make somebody else more fluffy than he is.
This carried on for quite some time. But even so, Roman knew what he had to do.

Ask for parenting advice. From some heroes.

Excellent idea.
In order Cu > Medea > Artoria > Nobu... You fucking imbecile.
 
"KANA YOU STUPID THOT WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"Blackbeard just walked into the library with a fucking weeb shirt on holding glowsticks and shouting that he wants to see Marie's panties
To be fair while that is perverted, stupid, perversely stupid and stupidly perverted it is kinda funny-
"YOU SHOWED HIM FUCKING EROMANGA SENSEI!"
-never fucking mind let Kana fucking burn. You are trash who washed trash and has now turn someone somewhat respectable into trash.
Seriously, what kind of thot shows the great scourge of the seas Eromanga Sensei? It's trash by his standards. And he's anime trash!
See even someone who's obsessed with an absolute shit waifu (because magi mari is shit) knows not to touch that cancerous garbage!
Ask for parenting advice. From some heroes.
Well shit this can't end well:
Altera- Acts like a child obsessed with cute things and tea parties
Artoria- Only child she had was a rape baby who ended up instigating a civil war which caused "father" and "son" to kill each other.
Oda Nobunaga- It's fucking Oda do I have to explain why getting advice from her is probably a stupid idea
EMIYA- While probably one of the few servants with common sense (he know he has problems and tries to deal with them) he hasn't actually raised children- and no Taiga doesn't count.
Gilgamesh- I have no idea if he even met his own kid before he kicked the bucket
Cu- One of his most famous tales is how he killed his own kid......yeah probably a bad idea to get parenting advice from him
Leonidas- Last time I checked Spartan Males don't really raise their own kids and I have no idea if Leo even met his own children
Marie Antoinnette- She- might actually be a good choice. I mean in life she had four children and this version seems to be a reliable person to talk about things to.
Medea- Ended up ganking a large portion of her family so asking for her advice would probably be as bad if not worse than asking Artoria.
Herakles- A berserker who can't actually communicate with you and even then raised his kids when they were kids not teens.
So yeah this will most likely be a bad idea. Should probably wait until a more reliable servant who is also a parent.
 
Is Eromanga-sensei really that big of a deal to show to Blackbeard?

I might need to go see it myself just to see what the big fuss is about.
i watch Ore Imou and Ero Manga and i still don't get why people blow up about them

it watch pretty average

don't really get why people scream trash at it
 
"NO!" Mashu throws her hands up. "You just don't get it, doctor! They're--ugh! Why did I think you'd do anything, you never do anything…" She turns around and stomps off. "Good day, doctor! Enjoy your anime!"
"I know, it was the right call… but does Mashu hate me?" He sighs and slumps his shoulders forward. "She hates me, doesn't she?"

"Fou…"

"Maybe if I wasn't such a terrible father, I could help her… Oh, right!" Roman suddenly looks up, newly energised. Fou wakes up, rudely awakened. "There are fathers in Chaldea! I could just ask for their advice!"

Scene 1! :V

****

From summoning chamber, a young, handsome man with simple tumic and sling in his belt, walked out-

Only to see a certain ruddy-haired man, jaw dropped im his presence.

"...Son?"

"...Father?"

Dr. Romani can do nothing but smack his head. My Lord, why did you leave me?

"...So, uh. How's Chaldea these day?"

That's when loud explosion heard from the side. Then silence.

Then, peeking outside, Dr. Romani prepared for the worst-

Only to see two of his charge, standing in mutual cross counter, not moving. And not responding. They still alive, though.

Or at least, seems alive, because otherwise Mashu gonna screamed on him and probably took his head. She can be scary like that.

"....So they-"

"Yes."

"And they-"

"Yes."

"...May I heal them?"

"Yes, please."

With the harp playing softly, touching body and soul, Dr. Romani can finally think that maybe, His Lord never leave him. Never now, and never be.

++++++++++++

Scene 2!

*****

Black mist, pouring from summoning chamber, oppresing everyone in the room. And hiding something behind.

Ritsuka and Kana, stopping hitting eaxh other for a moment, watching intently on the black mist. Or rather, something behind the mist.

Then they saw it. A single flash of red.

Followed by a sharp, wide swing, that conveniently separating both of them and not so conveniently graze Ritsuka on arm. That then followed by several wide swing, all evadable, but slowly sharpened into more efficient form.

Ritsuka can only evade them, running all the way.

And the figure covered in mist, hunting him with blood- curdling scream-

"-OOOOOOOOOOOYYYYY-

****

"Um, Mashu?"

"Yes, Senpai?"

"...Is that really necessary?"

The... armored figure in black had been wrapped several times in Enkidu and Witch of Betrayer spellworks, constraining and sapping his strength. To a limit.

Every now and then, he manages to score some semblance of power, and start screaming-

"BOOOOOOOOO-"

And that's when Mashu helpfully smash said knight head in.

No one else available for helping, because of "Edward Teach Suppresion Task Team". Dammit, Kana.

"He's Berserker. This is only way to keep them down."

Ritsuka didn't press the matter. Although he kinda felt that normally demure, dutiful Mashu seems to enjoy this a bit too much....
 
Last edited:
Back
Top