Nighzmarquls
The Endless Hunger
- Location
- United States
You are obviously not a parahuman, no one with a shard in their brain would think so clearly.
Eden's Edge (Worm/Sonnie's Edge [Love, Death, and Robots])
Outside the Tank
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
*LOUDER JAWS THEME*
Special thank you to my coauthor and lovely wife @hellgodsrus and the many betas helping feed me validation. Feedback and thoughts are loved! Extra special thank you to @LacksCreativity , @32nd_freeze , and @Tamahori for their help in deciding some significant plot points!
Outside the Tank
-.-.-
"Hey, Chris?"
Ack. He felt his shoulders flinch at the sound and his head darted up, current project mostly forgotten. "Dean. Hey. Great of you to just - leave me to my own demise the other day." He really wasn't bitter or unhappy - honestly! Guy gave him a chance and he blew it on his own terms. But Dean had kind of dropped him in it so - yeah. A little miffed. He was a little miffed.
"You did fine, I'm sure." Dean cocked his head. "But you… chickened out of asking her out, didn't you."
"I just - yeah. Yeah, I was the big chicken."
"Hey. Don't be down on yourself. You can ask her whenever you feel ready." The impact of his hand on Chris's shoulders. "Or maybe she'll ask you."
"Hah. As if she'd - want me."
"Don't be down on yourself. But, uh. Speaking of Taylor." Dean sat down beside him. It was incredible that until he sat down you never really noticed that he was kind of short - barely taller than Chris. He just had that kind of persona and feel and untouchability that swelled him til he seemed a giant. "Speaking of Taylor, do you mind if I ask something that's maybe a little rude?"
"If it's about her scars..." She'd mentioned a car accident, but he'd never seen any car crash victim with scars like that before. Not that he'd really seen any survivors with scars - Panacea usually fixed everything right up.
"No! No, not - probably not that. I just noticed that her…" Dean sighed, and made a gesture with his hand. "They were kind of… dim."
Chris stared at him trying to work out what he was saying for three seconds before he got it. "Her emotions? No! No, she's - I mean, she's generally pretty down and kinda grumpy, but in a snarky, Dennis way, not in like a Sophia-I-hate-you way. Are - she's not a sociopath, Dean!"
"I didn't say she was. And even if she was, that'd be - well, not okay, but plenty of people with limited ranges of emotion are great people." Dean smirked. "Like the amazing Beard."
Chris shook his head with a sigh. "You cheat with your power there. I keep speaking up the wrong time or - misjudge what he means because he's so blank. He actually cracks jokes, sometimes. Incredibly dry - so dry nobody realises they're jokes until he clarifies and it's like - shit, what did I do wrong this time - oh hah hah, good one, sir."
"Yeah. So even if she doesn't have the full emotional spectrum - for whatever reason - that's okay. I just wanted to check if you - or she - knew about that. She's certainly very good at - normal people emotional stuff that I'm not good at."
Chris thought about it. "... I don't know. She seems to have the full range like you or me or anyone on the team bar Sophia."
"Okay, I know I joked about her having the emotional range of a particularly angry teaspoon once, but - " Dean shook his head. "It's different. Sophia's colours are all just as bright. Brighter even. Just - fewer colours. Taylor it's like I'm looking at her from underwater or from really far away."
"Do -" Chris frowned. "Does your emotion-vision actually get obstructed by anything other than distance? And walls, I guess."
"Not really, but it's not like I can pick one person out of a crowd of people unless they're really obvious. Which is probably why I didn't notice before." Dean bobbed his head. "And that Victoria was avoiding her to try and make up for the faux pas on her first day."
Which wasn't exactly Victoria's first faux pas, but she always apologised, and tried to make it right. So. He could kind of forgive her even if Taylor couldn't. It helped that he knew the context of the incident, that Victoria hadn't exactly had the greatest week outside of school before the thing - not that that was an excuse. What Victoria did was severely fucked up. But she hadn't meant it, so… best not to spend too much thought on that. It just went around in circles.
"Huh. So she's - dim, despite what was probably the overwhelming flusteredness we were both feeling after I - calledherpretty." He wasn't entirely sure if he was hoping she'd remember or forget that. Sometimes she forgot things that he thought were pretty big. Like a few days simply - hadn't happened.
Dean grinned. "Yeah. You lit up like a christmas tree. She felt… something, but it was a lot dimmer."
"Are you - sure? Neither of us could get a word out after you left us."
"Well -" Dean grimaced. "Actually… her face was brighter than her colour, if - you know what I'm trying to say."
… huh. He did understand. Kinda. "It'd be… pretty weird if she turned out to be a cape with some kind of anti-thinker ability, huh."
"The likelihood of that is catastrophically low. More likely it's something genetic or to do with other stuff in her past. Or maybe you're right and she's a remote controlled robot person."
Chris elbowed Dean. "I never said that!"
"Well, I hope you and your remote controlled robot girlfriend have fun - "
"Deaaaan!"
-.-.-
Call it stereotypical if you wanted, but Abby liked her flags. Because they were all over her walls. She'd even have the rainbow wallpaper if she could. And posters. Lots of lesbian flag posters. It felt like a big hug from the universe, and a big fuck you to the homophobic dickbags that still lived in this country, this city. Her little queer fortress.
It wasn't the largest fortress. When she pushed her chair back from her desk it bumped into her bed. Rolling out of said bed was an exercise in momentum control to prevent herself from smacking her face on the wall.
But she'd not had any complaints from the few girlfriends she'd bought back here, so.
She was interrupted by her phone ringing. Unknown caller - it was her LGBT soc phone, so there was a reasonably high chance it was a crank caller or other douchebag. But she answered anyway.
"Hello, this is Abby of the Arcadia LGBTQ+ society speaking, how can I help you?"
"Oh, um - hey, Abby. It's Taylor." Taylor - Taylor! With the shyness and the complete unawareness of how hot she was. And the scars which… it was hard not to think of, but not right to. "I uh. Couple reasons for calling, I guess, but um. Y'know that group homework we've got for World Affairs?"
They'd gotten it a few days ago, met up to go over it at the library at school. Taylor hadn't really been available for meeting up outside of school - "Yeah? I'm not sure why you're calling the society phone about it…"
"Um. Right. I - sorta forgot to get your's or Al's number before class ended or anything and - but - um. Beans."
"... I'm sorry, what?"
"L- gaaaaah why is it so hard to say!?" A flump, meaning she probably just flopped down on her bed. Don't think about her in bed. She might have flumped onto a… chair. Or a couch. Or the arms of a beautiful woman - stop that, Abigail. "I realised you were hitting on me in class after a friend helped point it out and then pointed out you're the leader - er - president of the LGBT plus club which I had no idea about and um. I was sort of thinking about it on the bus and realised I'm gay?"
Abby blinked. That was… a lot to unpack. "Okay. Um. Congratulations on discovering your sexuality. I'm glad I helped with that, I guess, unless it made you uncomfortable." She'd had this talk with people before, why was this one making her nervous?!
"I'm not sure anyone's comfortable getting flirted with the first time but - the more I think about it the more it makes me feel… wiggly."
That was an adjective she hadn't encountered before but… okay. "Okay. So… I want to check something quickly. Are you calling me as the president of the queer society? As someone you're doing homework with? Or as the girl who was flirting with you?"
"Um… yes?"
"Taylor…"
"W-well - I wanna join the society, because - I have no idea how to figure any of this out on my own, and - the homework thing is kinda something that needs to be done more than just during lunch because god forbid Mom lets me out of the house for anything that isn't school during school hours, and um. I guess I do kinda - wanna try figure out what the - the flirting means?"
"Well. At the moment it just means I find you attractive. That's all it has to mean if you want." Her stomach felt like a mass of writhing octopi - why did it always do that? She hadn't even had sushi today! "Joining the society sounds like a great idea. And on the homework front - do you have an email address?"
"Uhmm - I think so? I haven't really had any reason to email anyone in ages and the computer's kinda slow, let me just - check what it was." A long pause. "Um. W-what if… what if I was hoping the flirting meant um. More?"
"Um. Then I'd say that - while you're discovering yourself it's probably best to move slowly and be careful and - " curse her selfish heart - "And I think that. Maybe we could talk more about it after watching a movie together some time?"
"That… that sounds nice." Damn her, she could hear the smile. Imagine the way it twisted her cheeks and damn how does she make that look so good, how does she not know how good that makes her look. "Oh, found my email, it's uh - … wow, really fucking old. I'll just um. Make a new Dragonnet account." Another long pause. "T underscore carnivore underscore one one seven. Big T and C though I don't know if that shows up in the address or just login."
"Right. I'll email you in a sec with what we've done so far and we can continue to organise stuff at school? Just email back and forth with ideas." Since her mom seemed to be super controlling and all.
"Okay. That's - man, it's been so long since I had to do any group work."
"How on earth have you managed to avoid it so far?"
"Annoyingly well-timed seizures." Taylor huffed. "On one hand, just got some surgery to help with that - hence the haircut - so it hopefully wont be as much of a problem going forward. On the other… no more potentially dodged assignments. Heard the biology essay I missed was absolutely killer."
"It really was." Seizures? From - whatever had caused the scars. No, stop that! People are not defined by their injuries. "I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow then."
"Uhm. Yeah. Did… did I say something wrong?"
"No! I just - do you want to still talk? About, uh…" Shit. What was there to talk about. "...ssstuff?"
Very smooth, Abby.
"Um - I - I dunno. God, I must sound like some hermit desperate for human contact or something." Soft laughter. "It's been - it's just been so long since I've had anyone other than Mom to talk to outside of school."
The rant from earlier. "So she's very protective?"
"Bit of an understatement, but - yeah. Ever since the accident she's been a bit paranoid - I can't really blame her for it, I mean - we lost Dad and look how I ended up - but it still gets a bit overbearing -"
"You ended up beautiful though."
Silence.
"Taylor?"
"Y-yep! S-till here. Just - um. Um. Aah?" Was that a - confused panic noise? "Y-you're - pretty beautiful y-yourself, y'know."
"Nah, not like you are." But she felt her cheeks heating up. "Thanks."
"G-great! Um. I - I um. Thank you. Too. um. Uh. I - think I'm going to - scream into my pillow and dance for a bit and why am I still talking?"
"Because you're adorable when you ramble?"
"Eeeeeee-"
My heart. Too cute.
"Okay, Taylor, I've sent you an email, and invited you to the shared folder Al and I are working on for the homework. I've also sent you my number so you can call me on my personal phone instead of my society president phone." Oh gosh was she doing that 'twirling a lock of hair around my finger' thing again? "I'll, uh. Fair warning, to give you time to think on that idea - I'm going to ask you out in a few days? So. Yeah. Plenty of time to think about that."
"Y-yes. Okay. Um. Thankyou. I should go." Ooh, she knew that one - the words swelled up under the disappointment that it wasn't an immediate yes - she's just figured herself out Abby, cool it - bursting from her mouth -
"Byebye, Commander Taylor Shepard~"
"Aaaaaa-"
Click. Ah, she was so adorable. Had she gone too far with the commander line? Just - Taylor was so adorable and shy but also so badass looking. Seeing her at school, imagining the little smile she might get -
I fall so damn hard, every time.
-.-.-
Special thank you to my coauthor and lovely wife @hellgodsrus and the many betas helping feed me validation. Feedback and thoughts are loved! Extra special thank you to @LacksCreativity , @32nd_freeze , and @Tamahori for their help in deciding some significant plot points!
Outside the Tank
-.-.-
"Hey, Chris?"
Ack. He felt his shoulders flinch at the sound and his head darted up, current project mostly forgotten. "Dean. Hey. Great of you to just - leave me to my own demise the other day." He really wasn't bitter or unhappy - honestly! Guy gave him a chance and he blew it on his own terms. But Dean had kind of dropped him in it so - yeah. A little miffed. He was a little miffed.
"You did fine, I'm sure." Dean cocked his head. "But you… chickened out of asking her out, didn't you."
"I just - yeah. Yeah, I was the big chicken."
"Hey. Don't be down on yourself. You can ask her whenever you feel ready." The impact of his hand on Chris's shoulders. "Or maybe she'll ask you."
"Hah. As if she'd - want me."
"Don't be down on yourself. But, uh. Speaking of Taylor." Dean sat down beside him. It was incredible that until he sat down you never really noticed that he was kind of short - barely taller than Chris. He just had that kind of persona and feel and untouchability that swelled him til he seemed a giant. "Speaking of Taylor, do you mind if I ask something that's maybe a little rude?"
"If it's about her scars..." She'd mentioned a car accident, but he'd never seen any car crash victim with scars like that before. Not that he'd really seen any survivors with scars - Panacea usually fixed everything right up.
"No! No, not - probably not that. I just noticed that her…" Dean sighed, and made a gesture with his hand. "They were kind of… dim."
Chris stared at him trying to work out what he was saying for three seconds before he got it. "Her emotions? No! No, she's - I mean, she's generally pretty down and kinda grumpy, but in a snarky, Dennis way, not in like a Sophia-I-hate-you way. Are - she's not a sociopath, Dean!"
"I didn't say she was. And even if she was, that'd be - well, not okay, but plenty of people with limited ranges of emotion are great people." Dean smirked. "Like the amazing Beard."
Chris shook his head with a sigh. "You cheat with your power there. I keep speaking up the wrong time or - misjudge what he means because he's so blank. He actually cracks jokes, sometimes. Incredibly dry - so dry nobody realises they're jokes until he clarifies and it's like - shit, what did I do wrong this time - oh hah hah, good one, sir."
"Yeah. So even if she doesn't have the full emotional spectrum - for whatever reason - that's okay. I just wanted to check if you - or she - knew about that. She's certainly very good at - normal people emotional stuff that I'm not good at."
Chris thought about it. "... I don't know. She seems to have the full range like you or me or anyone on the team bar Sophia."
"Okay, I know I joked about her having the emotional range of a particularly angry teaspoon once, but - " Dean shook his head. "It's different. Sophia's colours are all just as bright. Brighter even. Just - fewer colours. Taylor it's like I'm looking at her from underwater or from really far away."
"Do -" Chris frowned. "Does your emotion-vision actually get obstructed by anything other than distance? And walls, I guess."
"Not really, but it's not like I can pick one person out of a crowd of people unless they're really obvious. Which is probably why I didn't notice before." Dean bobbed his head. "And that Victoria was avoiding her to try and make up for the faux pas on her first day."
Which wasn't exactly Victoria's first faux pas, but she always apologised, and tried to make it right. So. He could kind of forgive her even if Taylor couldn't. It helped that he knew the context of the incident, that Victoria hadn't exactly had the greatest week outside of school before the thing - not that that was an excuse. What Victoria did was severely fucked up. But she hadn't meant it, so… best not to spend too much thought on that. It just went around in circles.
"Huh. So she's - dim, despite what was probably the overwhelming flusteredness we were both feeling after I - calledherpretty." He wasn't entirely sure if he was hoping she'd remember or forget that. Sometimes she forgot things that he thought were pretty big. Like a few days simply - hadn't happened.
Dean grinned. "Yeah. You lit up like a christmas tree. She felt… something, but it was a lot dimmer."
"Are you - sure? Neither of us could get a word out after you left us."
"Well -" Dean grimaced. "Actually… her face was brighter than her colour, if - you know what I'm trying to say."
… huh. He did understand. Kinda. "It'd be… pretty weird if she turned out to be a cape with some kind of anti-thinker ability, huh."
"The likelihood of that is catastrophically low. More likely it's something genetic or to do with other stuff in her past. Or maybe you're right and she's a remote controlled robot person."
Chris elbowed Dean. "I never said that!"
"Well, I hope you and your remote controlled robot girlfriend have fun - "
"Deaaaan!"
-.-.-
Call it stereotypical if you wanted, but Abby liked her flags. Because they were all over her walls. She'd even have the rainbow wallpaper if she could. And posters. Lots of lesbian flag posters. It felt like a big hug from the universe, and a big fuck you to the homophobic dickbags that still lived in this country, this city. Her little queer fortress.
It wasn't the largest fortress. When she pushed her chair back from her desk it bumped into her bed. Rolling out of said bed was an exercise in momentum control to prevent herself from smacking her face on the wall.
But she'd not had any complaints from the few girlfriends she'd bought back here, so.
She was interrupted by her phone ringing. Unknown caller - it was her LGBT soc phone, so there was a reasonably high chance it was a crank caller or other douchebag. But she answered anyway.
"Hello, this is Abby of the Arcadia LGBTQ+ society speaking, how can I help you?"
"Oh, um - hey, Abby. It's Taylor." Taylor - Taylor! With the shyness and the complete unawareness of how hot she was. And the scars which… it was hard not to think of, but not right to. "I uh. Couple reasons for calling, I guess, but um. Y'know that group homework we've got for World Affairs?"
They'd gotten it a few days ago, met up to go over it at the library at school. Taylor hadn't really been available for meeting up outside of school - "Yeah? I'm not sure why you're calling the society phone about it…"
"Um. Right. I - sorta forgot to get your's or Al's number before class ended or anything and - but - um. Beans."
"... I'm sorry, what?"
"L- gaaaaah why is it so hard to say!?" A flump, meaning she probably just flopped down on her bed. Don't think about her in bed. She might have flumped onto a… chair. Or a couch. Or the arms of a beautiful woman - stop that, Abigail. "I realised you were hitting on me in class after a friend helped point it out and then pointed out you're the leader - er - president of the LGBT plus club which I had no idea about and um. I was sort of thinking about it on the bus and realised I'm gay?"
Abby blinked. That was… a lot to unpack. "Okay. Um. Congratulations on discovering your sexuality. I'm glad I helped with that, I guess, unless it made you uncomfortable." She'd had this talk with people before, why was this one making her nervous?!
"I'm not sure anyone's comfortable getting flirted with the first time but - the more I think about it the more it makes me feel… wiggly."
That was an adjective she hadn't encountered before but… okay. "Okay. So… I want to check something quickly. Are you calling me as the president of the queer society? As someone you're doing homework with? Or as the girl who was flirting with you?"
"Um… yes?"
"Taylor…"
"W-well - I wanna join the society, because - I have no idea how to figure any of this out on my own, and - the homework thing is kinda something that needs to be done more than just during lunch because god forbid Mom lets me out of the house for anything that isn't school during school hours, and um. I guess I do kinda - wanna try figure out what the - the flirting means?"
"Well. At the moment it just means I find you attractive. That's all it has to mean if you want." Her stomach felt like a mass of writhing octopi - why did it always do that? She hadn't even had sushi today! "Joining the society sounds like a great idea. And on the homework front - do you have an email address?"
"Uhmm - I think so? I haven't really had any reason to email anyone in ages and the computer's kinda slow, let me just - check what it was." A long pause. "Um. W-what if… what if I was hoping the flirting meant um. More?"
"Um. Then I'd say that - while you're discovering yourself it's probably best to move slowly and be careful and - " curse her selfish heart - "And I think that. Maybe we could talk more about it after watching a movie together some time?"
"That… that sounds nice." Damn her, she could hear the smile. Imagine the way it twisted her cheeks and damn how does she make that look so good, how does she not know how good that makes her look. "Oh, found my email, it's uh - … wow, really fucking old. I'll just um. Make a new Dragonnet account." Another long pause. "T underscore carnivore underscore one one seven. Big T and C though I don't know if that shows up in the address or just login."
"Right. I'll email you in a sec with what we've done so far and we can continue to organise stuff at school? Just email back and forth with ideas." Since her mom seemed to be super controlling and all.
"Okay. That's - man, it's been so long since I had to do any group work."
"How on earth have you managed to avoid it so far?"
"Annoyingly well-timed seizures." Taylor huffed. "On one hand, just got some surgery to help with that - hence the haircut - so it hopefully wont be as much of a problem going forward. On the other… no more potentially dodged assignments. Heard the biology essay I missed was absolutely killer."
"It really was." Seizures? From - whatever had caused the scars. No, stop that! People are not defined by their injuries. "I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow then."
"Uhm. Yeah. Did… did I say something wrong?"
"No! I just - do you want to still talk? About, uh…" Shit. What was there to talk about. "...ssstuff?"
Very smooth, Abby.
"Um - I - I dunno. God, I must sound like some hermit desperate for human contact or something." Soft laughter. "It's been - it's just been so long since I've had anyone other than Mom to talk to outside of school."
The rant from earlier. "So she's very protective?"
"Bit of an understatement, but - yeah. Ever since the accident she's been a bit paranoid - I can't really blame her for it, I mean - we lost Dad and look how I ended up - but it still gets a bit overbearing -"
"You ended up beautiful though."
Silence.
"Taylor?"
"Y-yep! S-till here. Just - um. Um. Aah?" Was that a - confused panic noise? "Y-you're - pretty beautiful y-yourself, y'know."
"Nah, not like you are." But she felt her cheeks heating up. "Thanks."
"G-great! Um. I - I um. Thank you. Too. um. Uh. I - think I'm going to - scream into my pillow and dance for a bit and why am I still talking?"
"Because you're adorable when you ramble?"
"Eeeeeee-"
My heart. Too cute.
"Okay, Taylor, I've sent you an email, and invited you to the shared folder Al and I are working on for the homework. I've also sent you my number so you can call me on my personal phone instead of my society president phone." Oh gosh was she doing that 'twirling a lock of hair around my finger' thing again? "I'll, uh. Fair warning, to give you time to think on that idea - I'm going to ask you out in a few days? So. Yeah. Plenty of time to think about that."
"Y-yes. Okay. Um. Thankyou. I should go." Ooh, she knew that one - the words swelled up under the disappointment that it wasn't an immediate yes - she's just figured herself out Abby, cool it - bursting from her mouth -
"Byebye, Commander Taylor Shepard~"
"Aaaaaa-"
Click. Ah, she was so adorable. Had she gone too far with the commander line? Just - Taylor was so adorable and shy but also so badass looking. Seeing her at school, imagining the little smile she might get -
I fall so damn hard, every time.
-.-.-
- Location
- England
Chris's every scene makes me sadder that he was never even allowed to join the race. I was behind ya every step, buddy. But it was not to be.
- Location
- California
I get the humor and what you're going for, but my own personal opinion is that self aware jokes in non crack-y fics don't work as well because it's a serious story and a bit 4th wall breaking. Like when the truth comes out they'll realize someone made a joke about it and was right. It just feels weird in this setting when they're so obviously on the nose with the joke. Just my opinion about it.
Tsundere alien creature in a tub. Never thought I'd see the day.
SolarFlare
(Verified Cape)
- Location
- Brockton Bay, USA
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Aaaaaah so adorkable! I love it!
- Location
- Untied state of America
I feel sorry for Chris but I just love Abby and Taylor reactions to each other but dam Chris doesn't know that he didn't have a clue that he doesn't have a place in that race for Taylor.
Cue Annette rushing down to the basement in a panic at a strange noise, only to discover that her daughter has somehow flushed hard enough to boil the tank fluid.
blub blub blub blub blubblubblubblubblu- (*muffled squealing*)
thefluffyone
Big Ego for Something so Small, eh?
- Location
- Earth
ITS SO FLUFFY I WANNA DIE.
- Location
- Massachussetts
Chris, please don't drop thesee ominous statements on us! The rest of this chapter is so adorable. Did you really have to remind us how unreliable Annette's tech can be? Or make us wonder all over again what the fidelity of Taylor's memories might be?
Haha! Delicious call back.
I maintain that if your sushi is still writhing after you eat it, you are doing something wrong.
Um, really? I was discounting the speculation by other readers that the seizures were being triggered intentionally, but this is starting to be suspicious. Can I keep believing in coincidental malfunctions or do I need to increase Annette's "controlling parent" score even more?
This exchange is wonderful. Adorable indeed.
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Despite being a teacher herself, Annette doesn't have access to the class marking schedule. Funnily enough, some of those 'well-timed seizures' were actually triggered by stress over how to get her mom to let her do groupwork
It probably helps that given Brockton Bay's such a... place that group work is pretty rare. What happens if a Ward's been assigned group work and gets called off for an emergency? Despite the unwritten rules being more of a courtesy than anything at that point, Arcadia's courses and leniencies are mostly designed around the Wards. Just like Brockton Bay being weird in terms of cape activity, Arcadia's weird in how it houses most/all of the Wards. Other cities can get away with spreading out their Wards to different schools, call on less of them in emergencies.
But, all in all, Annette would never trigger a seizure in Taylor willingly. She's been shown to have a switch to manually switch Taylor's control between bodies - if she really needed to do something, she'd do her best to find a painless option
Chris isn't intended to be an authorial punching bag (even though now that I say that I realise he may have come across a little bit like that), he'll get his time to shine eventually. Something something plans (TM)
Their friendship isn't going to be discarded just because Tay's realised she's lesbian right after he almost asked her out
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- Location
- England
The initial response to "You almost ask someone out and they immediately discover that they're gay" feels like it would sting for some reason. But then you realize, it just proves that Chris is best boy. Because the certainty of the Taylor's realization is from the comparison between Chris and Abby, and if Chris had any relevant flaws those might have made Taylor think her not being into him was because of those instead of simply not being attracted to men.Their friendship isn't going to be discarded just because Tay's realised she's lesbian right after he almost asked her out
This scientifically proves that, as far as Taylor's narration is concerned, Chris's only flaw is that he's a dude. He is officially perfect. Thank you all for listening to my TED talk.
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- Location
- Canada
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Unfortunately true. The only exception I can think of is one story where he lowkey gets with Rune after they bond during an airboard race/chase through the docks and he saves her both from...either Lung or Oni Lee, I can't quite remember. And after that, from getting nabbed by the PRT after a big fight between the Empire and the ABB.
That Chris is very cute, specially since Rune likes to tease him a lot.
- Location
- Untied state of America
there's a lot of Chris gets a girl like Kid wins New girlfriend were he gets taylor there's a b side for Sophia i think ther one were he get a taylor that a bullet tinker there some out there you got to look for me i just think Chris is just boring but thats just me.
Thief of Words
Trans lesbian librarian
- Location
- Best book girl
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Ugh, that meme is creepy and comes from borderline homophobic attitudes from Japan.
I'm about 90% positive there are several Wormfics where he does all of those things.
- Location
- Florida
It's a joke. I like the story and just found the realization of Taylor's gayness to be kind of funny. not in the o it's funny she's gay but in the right after Chris asks her out she realizes she's gay it's f****** hilarious. To be honest I don't really care about Chris all that much to demand a Chris ship. The author has done a good job on making Chris likable so I made the joke.
I don't know the deep lore on the meme. But at least where I'm from, America, it's not homophobic. It's just commentary on cuteness or whatever. I really don't see how it's creepy.
Thief of Words
Trans lesbian librarian
- Location
- Best book girl
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Also American here. Can confirm. It may not be something you associate with homophobia or creepiness, but it has icky implications/overtones.
It comes from a couple areas. 1) a Japanese tendency to dismiss and infantilize wlw relations as lesser or not-serious or "a schoolgirl phase," and 2) the fetishization of an entire sexual orientation by people who are entirely irrelevant to it because they find it aesthetically or sexually appealing. Same as fujoushi stuff in that respect.
Don't put queer folks on a pedestal or in a pit. It's just another kind of love.
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Genesis 2.1
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Taylor's Ten Quick Tips To A Terrific Social Circle!: Step one; scream internally forever. Step two; ??? apparently people enjoy my company????? Step three; FRIENDS
Special thank you to my coauthor and lovely wife @hellgodsrus and the many betas helping feed me validation. Feedback and thoughts are loved! Extra special thank you to @LacksCreativity , @32nd_freeze , and @Tamahori for their help in deciding some significant plot points!
Genesis
2.1
-.-.-
Okay. I could do this. I wasn't here, I was at home in my parent's basement, and that did not sound as reassuring in my head as I'd hoped it would.
I didn't have World Affairs again until just before lunch today. Homework had gone okay, Abby hadn't - teased me in a work environment, and there weren't - weren't hints that Al knew more than people with eyes did because apparently Abby hadn't been subtle about her initial appreciation but aaaahhhhhhhhh. It had taken me a while to summon up the courage to ring her. A couple of days of - panicking.
And avoiding Chris. It wasn't entirely on purpose it's just - I wasn't sure what to say to him and every time I thought about it my stomach seemed to lurch sideways. What ever I decided to say was going to get very awkward very quickly.
And I still needed to smack Dean upside the head if I get the opportunity. And - and that was it for school this week. Unless I wanted to try getting Panacea on my side - would she even be able to heal my monster if I got hurt on my 'go out and hunt down money' plan? Would she even be willing to?
I'd like to say fate took it out of my hands, but that would be lying.
I chickened out and after staring at the back of her head for a couple of moments trying to bring up the courage to say hi, I left. My locker wasn't even in this hall, stupid, stupid, no reason to be here for a 'chance' meeting, nothing to - to make it seem natural, and I didn't want her to get the idea I was using her - But isn't that the whole point? - no shut up brain you stupid - argh!
And, I was nervous about revealing I was an illegal biotinker experiment. That probably didn't normally lead to fun happy conversations about helping each other out and hair braiding; that probably lead to screaming and running and Mom getting arrested.
And, and Victoria was around and I still didn't - yeah. No. No talking to Amy right now.
God, I hated this feeling.
-.-.-
Morning break. A chance to relax and - talk to Chris about what happened a few days ago. I'd just been putting it off and off and - today was the day. Fuuuuuck.
I sat down at our usual table, in the corner, got my snacks out and - sort of just sat there anxiously tapping my feet and feeling too not-hungry to eat.
"Uh, hey, Taylor." There he was, finally. And my face immediately flushed when I remembered what he'd said to me, remembered all the ways I'd thought this conversation might go - him screaming at me, claiming I'd lead him on, him being a jerk about it, him crying - and that caused another swell of panic.
"H-hey. Chris. Umm." How do I tell the guy that almost asked me out on a date I figured out I was lesbian less than an hour later without making him think it's his fault? Maybe I should have asked Abby.
"So. The weather's been nice this week. I don't know if you like the sun, but."
"The sun's alright. Fiery and. There."
We both sort of just sat there awkwardly for a few minutes. Just. Gathering up the courage to speak.
"So I kinda - "
"I was wondering if - "
Why did we have to speak at the same time? I hid my face in my hand. "Sorry. You go first."
"Um, no, it's okay! You go first."
"Okay." I bit my lip and squirmed in my seat and - thank fuck I'd left my hood up because it was kind of comforting right now. "Remember how you guys - told me Abby was openly gay and - Dean said she was hitting on me?"
"Oh." His face fell a bit. Then rose. "Oh! Oh - um, congratulations, Taylor? I guess? Is that an appropriate thing to say to a friend when they have a significant other?"
"I - don't know if I have a significant other I just - figured out I'm gay too?" I clutched at my head to stop myself from flailing around like an idiot. "And - god, I feel like the timing couldn't be worse," I moaned. "Right after - what happened. And then it took me a few days to even - think about it and not kind of panic."
"Yeah, I can - see why that would be uh. Awkward." I risked a glance and yup his face was around about as red as mine felt. "But still. Congratulations are in order I think? Sexuality is complicated. So. Congratulations."
"Thanks." A horrible terrible no-good thought occured to me and I began to grin. "Now we can pass the time looking at cute girls together."
Chris shrunk a bit. "Ah - thanks. I think?"
"Like um…" I tried - and completely failed to think of anything. "Uuhhh…" I slumped. "Nevermind. Sorry. Trying to salvage the mood after this - bluegh of a - a - whatever this is. Was. We're still friends, right?"
"Of course. That's not even a question. I'm not - " He shook his head. "I'm happy for you. Really. It's more that I'm having a hard-to-focus day and I'm struggling with working out how you think this changes things?"
"I'm not sure." I admitted quietly. "I thought you'd hate me, tell me I was leading you on… Anxiety's just a horrible thing." Deep breath. "It's not you, it's me. Literally I couldn't find a single thing about you that'd put you in the 'do not date' pile. I just - figured out I'm gay and not attracted to guys? Yeah, it - doesn't really make sense to me either, you're kinda prime adorkable boyfriend material, but.... I'unno." I shrugged helplessly. "Feels cliched and rude to say you're like the brother I never had."
"Well." Chris looked more than a little bashful. "L-let's not change things then. That's - much less anxious." His smile was bright and hopeful.
I dropped my head in my hand and laughed. "Yeah. That sounds much better." Haven't lost my friend. That's good. "No idea what to talk about now though."
"Uh…" He coughed. "As newly appointed siblings - I was going to ask how math is going. I know you're in a higher stream than me, so - I was hoping I could get some additional tips and advice."
"Huh." I blinked. Surprisingly mundane after - everything else. But not unwelcome. "Sure. What're you stuck on?"
He started pulling a book out of his bag, and that's how we spent the rest of midmorning break.
-.-.-
"Hey, Taylor." Abby sat down next to me and smiled. "Just us today, Al had a family emergency and had to leave at break earlier."
Ahaaaaa why me? "That's - unfortunate? I hope everything's okay. Or - ends okay. Goes well." We'd spoken and worked together for over a week now, why was the thought of the two of us alone so terrifying?
"Yeah, to be honest I think they're just skipping. They do that sometimes." She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear and gave me a smile with those soft, warm, pink looking lips -
Fucking hell -
Did my heart skip a beat there? It felt like it did. My face felt like a furnace. "S-so. Um." Fiddling with my fingers, twisting and weaving and unweaving and - "You're - looking really really nice today." I think I was up to two weeks without a chance for privacy. Oh god, Mom probably knew half the things I did just based on how my actual body reacted but she couldn't tell me until now and -
I was so horrified and embarrassed all at once.
"Thanks. You too." Her lips twitched. "I like the logo on the hoodie. Commander."
"I - I thought you might - like it after - ohgodkillmenow." I dropped my head into my folded arms, slumping over the table. It felt like a great idea at the time - yay, fellow fan, and now I was paying for it.
"Well, I did like it. So. Well done, you." Her smile spread a little wider. "Who's your normal squad?"
"Talibrations, no question." I paused. "Though they're so good together I always feel bad when I accidentally get into a romance with Tali. I haven't figured out how to score Ashley yet, either, no matter how hard I try… aaand in hindsight maybe I should have figured out which way I swing a lot sooner."
Abby giggled. "It's okay. My lesbian awakening was… that greek mythology game, with the capes in ancient greece? I remember seeing - in hindsight super pixelated - Athene and thinking 'step on me' and that was it, I was done."
I had to think for a moment, but when it came to me - and the art in the manual - "Oh. Oh yeah, I - wow. I can definitely feel that." Now that I knew what to look for it was just - leaping out at me. "Step on me, Abby?"
… WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?!
I hid my face in my arms again.
A gentle giggle. "One day at a time, Taylor. Eventually we'll see about stepping."
"It's been two weeks since I've had any time to - take care of myself and I am coiled tighter than a bazillion springs." I groaned, looking up at her. "I really shouldn't but - do you wanna maybe skip lunch and just - y'know. Hang out in the way two girls interested in each other hang out?"
"Taylor." Her voice was more serious. "I meant it when I said we should try and take things slowly. I don't want to - scare you off. And you should work out what you like and if we like each other before we get all… hormonal and teenaged."
I sighed and slumped a little bit further. "Intellectually, I know you're right. Emotionally and hormonally, monkey brain see, monkey brain want to do. I'm sorry, I'll - blgh. I'll try to slow down." I supposed the only real question was - did I want her? Or did I just want the feeling of intimacy?
"I mean, I'd love to. Really. It's just not the sensible or right thing to do." She shifted in her chair. "Really… really I'd love to."
"I'm sick of always having to put aside fun for sensible or 'right'." I sighed. "Even if I -"
"Hey so do you want to skip lunch and hang out?" Abby blinked. "Fuck - sorry - damnit now I'm being a hormonal mess - "
"Fuckit. Let's be hormonal messes together." I grinned a little lopsidedly, even if my heart was racing at the thought. "Something something learning experience, pun about studying anatomy?"
"You are such a dork." Abby grabbed my hand. "Come on."
I just grinned and followed her out.
-.-.-
Wow.
So that was what it felt like. I vaguely remembered plans for the day that didn't involve suckling on Abby's neck, or her fingers gliding over my skin, or those little noises she made as she ground into my leg - buuuut they were taking a solid backseat to wondering when that closet would be free again. When I could feel her hands roaming up my back under my shirt, tracing over my scars -
Fucking hell, she managed to make me feel truly good about them for possibly the first time since I got them. The attention I'd normally hate, twisted into lavish feather-light touches, intimacy, and -
I bit my lip and gazed dreamily out the window, not giving a single fuck about my mussed up hair in the reflection. Had we made a mistake rushing into something like that? Maybe. Was I going to ever regret it? Hell no. She'd tried to apologise for it, for touching my scars and kissing them, but I wouldn't let her.
Her lips had felt even softer than they looked. Was that why it was called seven minutes in heaven? Fuck seven minutes, I wanted seven hours of her all to myself. The smell of her hair, the taste of her skin, embedded in my memory forever. The sound of her breath leaving her lips.
"Taylor."
If only I was a poet; I might have been able to do her justice with descriptions.
"Ms. Hebert?"
"Hm?" I looked forward - fuck, which class was this? "What's happening?" Shit, how many times had she called me to start using my last name?
Mrs. Grace just sighed. Oh. Her. Math! "Pay attention, please." Right. I couldn't even do that on the walk to class and accidentally bumped into a few people. "Tammi, could you answer the question on the board?"
"Sure. It's…"
Aaaand my attention was back on Abby. I bit my lip and hid my mouth behind my fist. Fuck, I wanna do that again. I couldn't tell if I was more tense or less. When I got home I was going to have to find some excuse to get Mom to leave me alone for - oh. Oh fuck.
I checked my phone.
That was… a lot of texts. From Mom. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
<taylor
<respond to this message
<the basement is behaving strangely
<Taylor
<are you okay
<I am checking the news there are no reports of attacks on arcadia
<if you have kidnapped my daughter I am going to murder you
And that went on for another hundred or so…
"Taylor, put your phone away-"
"I'm sorry, I've gotta go, it's - family emergency." I hiked my bag up over my shoulder.
"You can't use that excuse in the middle of class."
I can when my mom is horribly paranoid, has a bad feeling, and won't stop texting me on the phone I'm not meant to be texted on because it's for when I'm thinking I'm about to have a seizure. And that she apparently thinks I've been murdered. Or kidnapped. And is currently sending detailed graphic threats about what she's going to do to whoever hurt me.
"Fine, give me detention or whatever, it'll be easier to deal with than whatever apocalyptic fit Mom's about to have if I don't call her." I paused halfway out the door. "Sorry, she - does get intense."
And out into the hall before anyone could say anything. Dialing… surely she'd pick up instantl-
"Whoever this is, I hope you know the unending pain I will put you through if Taylor's not completely unharmed - "
"Mom, I'm fine!"
"They're making you say that aren't they."
"No, Mom, nobody's making me say anything, and I can prove it. Mrs. Grace - the math teacher, remember her? - is probably about to send a message to the office to message you that I just walked out of class because I just noticed the hundred or so… rather graphic texts you sent. Let me get out to the front gate and I'll -" god I hate this part - "I'll explain everything I can."
"Then why - your - the basement had a few disturbances. So I know you're not okay. You'd need some kind of - extreme physical sensation for that kind of feedback loop."
"That good, huh?" I mused, quietly, mostly to myself. "Look, um - it was an extreme physical sensation, but it wasn't pain. Kind of um… the opposite?"
"...was someone - Taylor!"
"It was all consensual, I swear." I hissed, ducking out the door to the steps. "Mom I - I'm a hormonal teenager and I've had over two weeks without any kind of privacy not really helped by - how much time you spend in the basement and my sudden awareness of how what I do can… make that act weird. It was just - making out in a closet and - I kind of really enjoyed it?"
"Was it with this Abby girl?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not confirming or denying anything until I know you won't - do anything… over the top to her." … fuck that was a confirmation, wasn't it? "She was worried about scaring me away, but I suggested it, and I don't want you to scare her away, okay?"
Down the steps, clack clack clack, aaaand the slow realisation that the buses won't be running for another hour and home really was way too far to walk. Shit.
"I thought you said you weren't going to do anything like that yet, Taylor."
"I said I wasn't planning on going out on dates." I sighed. "I'll admit the whole - emotions getting the better of me happened, but I do not regret it in the slightest." I couldn't help but smile a bit. "I mean… apart from worrying you, that part I do regret. But um -" I looked around quickly. Didn't really want this part overheard. "She - did things. That made me feel good about myself for - what feels like the first time since I got them."
"I could do without details." A long pause. "... I don't… you haven't felt good about yourself in that long?"
"Not like… that. And - it's um. Not the kind of feeling I'd get from my mother, so…"
"Right. Right, of course. Sorry." A sniff and another pause. "Sorry. I'll just let you get back to school then."
"Mom, I'm - I'm sorry I made you worried. And - the thoughtless things I said."
"No, no, it's - it's fine don't worry."
"I can hear you sniffling, it clearly isn't."
"It's fine. Um, I hear the kettle boiling, I have to go."
"Mom - " And she'd hung up.
Fuck. Fuuuuuck.
Now how was I meant to get home? Wait - I could just… find the button on my implant, turn it off or down or something, talk to her through the speakers in the basement, and… and then come back to school to find out someone's decided I'm dead and called an ambulance or something. Which we couldn't afford to deal with.
I didn't know what Mom was feeling and my way with words felt like the worst. I sat down on the pavement and leaned against the wall, running my hand through my hair, finally fixing it up a bit. I - definitely said the wrong thing when I mentioned how good she made me feel about - about having the scars. Was it even feeling good about having them or just - not bothered by them for once?
But it wasn't the wrong thing. It was how I felt. And if Mom was freaking out because she'd made me feel fragile and made of glass and like I was defined by my injuries or by being a giant lizard monster, then that was kind of true, wasn't it?
Blurghh. One day, things would finally make sense.
I heard someone else coming down the steps and glanced their way, wondering if Mrs. Grace had sent someone to collect me. But uh, nope. It was Panacea. Amy. "Hey." I waved half-heartedly.
"Hey." She pulled a cigarette from her pocket and lit it up. She had one of those cool lighters, the flip-tops that closed with a satisfying clink instead of just a normal corner store plastic cheapie. She took a long drag and sat down on the steps just out of arms reach from me.
Huh. Panacea smoked. I thought she couldn't heal herself, but - hell, I understood the need for something to keep the days from sucking, I wasn't gonna call her out on it. Healing ungrateful beggars at the hospital probably would have driven her to drinking if she was old enough for it.
She eventually broke the silence half way through her smoke. "Think we bumped into each other in the halls earlier."
"Did we?" I frowned, trying to remember - "Shit. Sorry, I've been - kinda distracted since -"
Amy smirked, blowing smoke out the corner of her mouth. "I noticed."
"Ooof course you would." I felt my face heating up and looked away.
"Speaking of things I've noticed," she took another drag. "Mind telling me why you're brain-dead?"
Ah.
Fuck.
-.-.-
Special thank you to my coauthor and lovely wife @hellgodsrus and the many betas helping feed me validation. Feedback and thoughts are loved! Extra special thank you to @LacksCreativity , @32nd_freeze , and @Tamahori for their help in deciding some significant plot points!
Genesis
2.1
-.-.-
Okay. I could do this. I wasn't here, I was at home in my parent's basement, and that did not sound as reassuring in my head as I'd hoped it would.
I didn't have World Affairs again until just before lunch today. Homework had gone okay, Abby hadn't - teased me in a work environment, and there weren't - weren't hints that Al knew more than people with eyes did because apparently Abby hadn't been subtle about her initial appreciation but aaaahhhhhhhhh. It had taken me a while to summon up the courage to ring her. A couple of days of - panicking.
And avoiding Chris. It wasn't entirely on purpose it's just - I wasn't sure what to say to him and every time I thought about it my stomach seemed to lurch sideways. What ever I decided to say was going to get very awkward very quickly.
And I still needed to smack Dean upside the head if I get the opportunity. And - and that was it for school this week. Unless I wanted to try getting Panacea on my side - would she even be able to heal my monster if I got hurt on my 'go out and hunt down money' plan? Would she even be willing to?
I'd like to say fate took it out of my hands, but that would be lying.
I chickened out and after staring at the back of her head for a couple of moments trying to bring up the courage to say hi, I left. My locker wasn't even in this hall, stupid, stupid, no reason to be here for a 'chance' meeting, nothing to - to make it seem natural, and I didn't want her to get the idea I was using her - But isn't that the whole point? - no shut up brain you stupid - argh!
And, I was nervous about revealing I was an illegal biotinker experiment. That probably didn't normally lead to fun happy conversations about helping each other out and hair braiding; that probably lead to screaming and running and Mom getting arrested.
And, and Victoria was around and I still didn't - yeah. No. No talking to Amy right now.
God, I hated this feeling.
-.-.-
Morning break. A chance to relax and - talk to Chris about what happened a few days ago. I'd just been putting it off and off and - today was the day. Fuuuuuck.
I sat down at our usual table, in the corner, got my snacks out and - sort of just sat there anxiously tapping my feet and feeling too not-hungry to eat.
"Uh, hey, Taylor." There he was, finally. And my face immediately flushed when I remembered what he'd said to me, remembered all the ways I'd thought this conversation might go - him screaming at me, claiming I'd lead him on, him being a jerk about it, him crying - and that caused another swell of panic.
"H-hey. Chris. Umm." How do I tell the guy that almost asked me out on a date I figured out I was lesbian less than an hour later without making him think it's his fault? Maybe I should have asked Abby.
"So. The weather's been nice this week. I don't know if you like the sun, but."
"The sun's alright. Fiery and. There."
We both sort of just sat there awkwardly for a few minutes. Just. Gathering up the courage to speak.
"So I kinda - "
"I was wondering if - "
Why did we have to speak at the same time? I hid my face in my hand. "Sorry. You go first."
"Um, no, it's okay! You go first."
"Okay." I bit my lip and squirmed in my seat and - thank fuck I'd left my hood up because it was kind of comforting right now. "Remember how you guys - told me Abby was openly gay and - Dean said she was hitting on me?"
"Oh." His face fell a bit. Then rose. "Oh! Oh - um, congratulations, Taylor? I guess? Is that an appropriate thing to say to a friend when they have a significant other?"
"I - don't know if I have a significant other I just - figured out I'm gay too?" I clutched at my head to stop myself from flailing around like an idiot. "And - god, I feel like the timing couldn't be worse," I moaned. "Right after - what happened. And then it took me a few days to even - think about it and not kind of panic."
"Yeah, I can - see why that would be uh. Awkward." I risked a glance and yup his face was around about as red as mine felt. "But still. Congratulations are in order I think? Sexuality is complicated. So. Congratulations."
"Thanks." A horrible terrible no-good thought occured to me and I began to grin. "Now we can pass the time looking at cute girls together."
Chris shrunk a bit. "Ah - thanks. I think?"
"Like um…" I tried - and completely failed to think of anything. "Uuhhh…" I slumped. "Nevermind. Sorry. Trying to salvage the mood after this - bluegh of a - a - whatever this is. Was. We're still friends, right?"
"Of course. That's not even a question. I'm not - " He shook his head. "I'm happy for you. Really. It's more that I'm having a hard-to-focus day and I'm struggling with working out how you think this changes things?"
"I'm not sure." I admitted quietly. "I thought you'd hate me, tell me I was leading you on… Anxiety's just a horrible thing." Deep breath. "It's not you, it's me. Literally I couldn't find a single thing about you that'd put you in the 'do not date' pile. I just - figured out I'm gay and not attracted to guys? Yeah, it - doesn't really make sense to me either, you're kinda prime adorkable boyfriend material, but.... I'unno." I shrugged helplessly. "Feels cliched and rude to say you're like the brother I never had."
"Well." Chris looked more than a little bashful. "L-let's not change things then. That's - much less anxious." His smile was bright and hopeful.
I dropped my head in my hand and laughed. "Yeah. That sounds much better." Haven't lost my friend. That's good. "No idea what to talk about now though."
"Uh…" He coughed. "As newly appointed siblings - I was going to ask how math is going. I know you're in a higher stream than me, so - I was hoping I could get some additional tips and advice."
"Huh." I blinked. Surprisingly mundane after - everything else. But not unwelcome. "Sure. What're you stuck on?"
He started pulling a book out of his bag, and that's how we spent the rest of midmorning break.
-.-.-
"Hey, Taylor." Abby sat down next to me and smiled. "Just us today, Al had a family emergency and had to leave at break earlier."
Ahaaaaa why me? "That's - unfortunate? I hope everything's okay. Or - ends okay. Goes well." We'd spoken and worked together for over a week now, why was the thought of the two of us alone so terrifying?
"Yeah, to be honest I think they're just skipping. They do that sometimes." She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear and gave me a smile with those soft, warm, pink looking lips -
Fucking hell -
Did my heart skip a beat there? It felt like it did. My face felt like a furnace. "S-so. Um." Fiddling with my fingers, twisting and weaving and unweaving and - "You're - looking really really nice today." I think I was up to two weeks without a chance for privacy. Oh god, Mom probably knew half the things I did just based on how my actual body reacted but she couldn't tell me until now and -
I was so horrified and embarrassed all at once.
"Thanks. You too." Her lips twitched. "I like the logo on the hoodie. Commander."
"I - I thought you might - like it after - ohgodkillmenow." I dropped my head into my folded arms, slumping over the table. It felt like a great idea at the time - yay, fellow fan, and now I was paying for it.
"Well, I did like it. So. Well done, you." Her smile spread a little wider. "Who's your normal squad?"
"Talibrations, no question." I paused. "Though they're so good together I always feel bad when I accidentally get into a romance with Tali. I haven't figured out how to score Ashley yet, either, no matter how hard I try… aaand in hindsight maybe I should have figured out which way I swing a lot sooner."
Abby giggled. "It's okay. My lesbian awakening was… that greek mythology game, with the capes in ancient greece? I remember seeing - in hindsight super pixelated - Athene and thinking 'step on me' and that was it, I was done."
I had to think for a moment, but when it came to me - and the art in the manual - "Oh. Oh yeah, I - wow. I can definitely feel that." Now that I knew what to look for it was just - leaping out at me. "Step on me, Abby?"
… WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?!
I hid my face in my arms again.
A gentle giggle. "One day at a time, Taylor. Eventually we'll see about stepping."
"It's been two weeks since I've had any time to - take care of myself and I am coiled tighter than a bazillion springs." I groaned, looking up at her. "I really shouldn't but - do you wanna maybe skip lunch and just - y'know. Hang out in the way two girls interested in each other hang out?"
"Taylor." Her voice was more serious. "I meant it when I said we should try and take things slowly. I don't want to - scare you off. And you should work out what you like and if we like each other before we get all… hormonal and teenaged."
I sighed and slumped a little bit further. "Intellectually, I know you're right. Emotionally and hormonally, monkey brain see, monkey brain want to do. I'm sorry, I'll - blgh. I'll try to slow down." I supposed the only real question was - did I want her? Or did I just want the feeling of intimacy?
"I mean, I'd love to. Really. It's just not the sensible or right thing to do." She shifted in her chair. "Really… really I'd love to."
"I'm sick of always having to put aside fun for sensible or 'right'." I sighed. "Even if I -"
"Hey so do you want to skip lunch and hang out?" Abby blinked. "Fuck - sorry - damnit now I'm being a hormonal mess - "
"Fuckit. Let's be hormonal messes together." I grinned a little lopsidedly, even if my heart was racing at the thought. "Something something learning experience, pun about studying anatomy?"
"You are such a dork." Abby grabbed my hand. "Come on."
I just grinned and followed her out.
-.-.-
Wow.
So that was what it felt like. I vaguely remembered plans for the day that didn't involve suckling on Abby's neck, or her fingers gliding over my skin, or those little noises she made as she ground into my leg - buuuut they were taking a solid backseat to wondering when that closet would be free again. When I could feel her hands roaming up my back under my shirt, tracing over my scars -
Fucking hell, she managed to make me feel truly good about them for possibly the first time since I got them. The attention I'd normally hate, twisted into lavish feather-light touches, intimacy, and -
I bit my lip and gazed dreamily out the window, not giving a single fuck about my mussed up hair in the reflection. Had we made a mistake rushing into something like that? Maybe. Was I going to ever regret it? Hell no. She'd tried to apologise for it, for touching my scars and kissing them, but I wouldn't let her.
Her lips had felt even softer than they looked. Was that why it was called seven minutes in heaven? Fuck seven minutes, I wanted seven hours of her all to myself. The smell of her hair, the taste of her skin, embedded in my memory forever. The sound of her breath leaving her lips.
"Taylor."
If only I was a poet; I might have been able to do her justice with descriptions.
"Ms. Hebert?"
"Hm?" I looked forward - fuck, which class was this? "What's happening?" Shit, how many times had she called me to start using my last name?
Mrs. Grace just sighed. Oh. Her. Math! "Pay attention, please." Right. I couldn't even do that on the walk to class and accidentally bumped into a few people. "Tammi, could you answer the question on the board?"
"Sure. It's…"
Aaaand my attention was back on Abby. I bit my lip and hid my mouth behind my fist. Fuck, I wanna do that again. I couldn't tell if I was more tense or less. When I got home I was going to have to find some excuse to get Mom to leave me alone for - oh. Oh fuck.
I checked my phone.
That was… a lot of texts. From Mom. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
<taylor
<respond to this message
<the basement is behaving strangely
<Taylor
<are you okay
<I am checking the news there are no reports of attacks on arcadia
<if you have kidnapped my daughter I am going to murder you
And that went on for another hundred or so…
"Taylor, put your phone away-"
"I'm sorry, I've gotta go, it's - family emergency." I hiked my bag up over my shoulder.
"You can't use that excuse in the middle of class."
I can when my mom is horribly paranoid, has a bad feeling, and won't stop texting me on the phone I'm not meant to be texted on because it's for when I'm thinking I'm about to have a seizure. And that she apparently thinks I've been murdered. Or kidnapped. And is currently sending detailed graphic threats about what she's going to do to whoever hurt me.
"Fine, give me detention or whatever, it'll be easier to deal with than whatever apocalyptic fit Mom's about to have if I don't call her." I paused halfway out the door. "Sorry, she - does get intense."
And out into the hall before anyone could say anything. Dialing… surely she'd pick up instantl-
"Whoever this is, I hope you know the unending pain I will put you through if Taylor's not completely unharmed - "
"Mom, I'm fine!"
"They're making you say that aren't they."
"No, Mom, nobody's making me say anything, and I can prove it. Mrs. Grace - the math teacher, remember her? - is probably about to send a message to the office to message you that I just walked out of class because I just noticed the hundred or so… rather graphic texts you sent. Let me get out to the front gate and I'll -" god I hate this part - "I'll explain everything I can."
"Then why - your - the basement had a few disturbances. So I know you're not okay. You'd need some kind of - extreme physical sensation for that kind of feedback loop."
"That good, huh?" I mused, quietly, mostly to myself. "Look, um - it was an extreme physical sensation, but it wasn't pain. Kind of um… the opposite?"
"...was someone - Taylor!"
"It was all consensual, I swear." I hissed, ducking out the door to the steps. "Mom I - I'm a hormonal teenager and I've had over two weeks without any kind of privacy not really helped by - how much time you spend in the basement and my sudden awareness of how what I do can… make that act weird. It was just - making out in a closet and - I kind of really enjoyed it?"
"Was it with this Abby girl?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not confirming or denying anything until I know you won't - do anything… over the top to her." … fuck that was a confirmation, wasn't it? "She was worried about scaring me away, but I suggested it, and I don't want you to scare her away, okay?"
Down the steps, clack clack clack, aaaand the slow realisation that the buses won't be running for another hour and home really was way too far to walk. Shit.
"I thought you said you weren't going to do anything like that yet, Taylor."
"I said I wasn't planning on going out on dates." I sighed. "I'll admit the whole - emotions getting the better of me happened, but I do not regret it in the slightest." I couldn't help but smile a bit. "I mean… apart from worrying you, that part I do regret. But um -" I looked around quickly. Didn't really want this part overheard. "She - did things. That made me feel good about myself for - what feels like the first time since I got them."
"I could do without details." A long pause. "... I don't… you haven't felt good about yourself in that long?"
"Not like… that. And - it's um. Not the kind of feeling I'd get from my mother, so…"
"Right. Right, of course. Sorry." A sniff and another pause. "Sorry. I'll just let you get back to school then."
"Mom, I'm - I'm sorry I made you worried. And - the thoughtless things I said."
"No, no, it's - it's fine don't worry."
"I can hear you sniffling, it clearly isn't."
"It's fine. Um, I hear the kettle boiling, I have to go."
"Mom - " And she'd hung up.
Fuck. Fuuuuuck.
Now how was I meant to get home? Wait - I could just… find the button on my implant, turn it off or down or something, talk to her through the speakers in the basement, and… and then come back to school to find out someone's decided I'm dead and called an ambulance or something. Which we couldn't afford to deal with.
I didn't know what Mom was feeling and my way with words felt like the worst. I sat down on the pavement and leaned against the wall, running my hand through my hair, finally fixing it up a bit. I - definitely said the wrong thing when I mentioned how good she made me feel about - about having the scars. Was it even feeling good about having them or just - not bothered by them for once?
But it wasn't the wrong thing. It was how I felt. And if Mom was freaking out because she'd made me feel fragile and made of glass and like I was defined by my injuries or by being a giant lizard monster, then that was kind of true, wasn't it?
Blurghh. One day, things would finally make sense.
I heard someone else coming down the steps and glanced their way, wondering if Mrs. Grace had sent someone to collect me. But uh, nope. It was Panacea. Amy. "Hey." I waved half-heartedly.
"Hey." She pulled a cigarette from her pocket and lit it up. She had one of those cool lighters, the flip-tops that closed with a satisfying clink instead of just a normal corner store plastic cheapie. She took a long drag and sat down on the steps just out of arms reach from me.
Huh. Panacea smoked. I thought she couldn't heal herself, but - hell, I understood the need for something to keep the days from sucking, I wasn't gonna call her out on it. Healing ungrateful beggars at the hospital probably would have driven her to drinking if she was old enough for it.
She eventually broke the silence half way through her smoke. "Think we bumped into each other in the halls earlier."
"Did we?" I frowned, trying to remember - "Shit. Sorry, I've been - kinda distracted since -"
Amy smirked, blowing smoke out the corner of her mouth. "I noticed."
"Ooof course you would." I felt my face heating up and looked away.
"Speaking of things I've noticed," she took another drag. "Mind telling me why you're brain-dead?"
Ah.
Fuck.
-.-.-
Night_stalker
Slava Ukraini!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"I'm a teenager. Par the course, really."
SolarFlare
(Verified Cape)
- Location
- Brockton Bay, USA
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Mood. Definite mood.
Taylor you useless lesbian!
Wait, so either Taylor plays Maleshep, ME in Earth Bet actually let Tali be bi, or Tay installed a mod?
Roll credits!
- Location
- Earth, probably.
- Pronouns
- None/Any
Oh my god, Amy, you can't just ask people why they're brain dead.
- Location
- Earth
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do."
- Location
- California
I'm amazed how realistic the whole situation feels as opposed to other stories that feel forced. Nice job.
I'm both impressed that Annette is so continually paranoid while questioning why she hasn't just slapped a camera onto Taylor like the implant is. Then she could see where Taylor is at all times. Awkward, yeah, but the situation is messed up in so many other ways.
So Amy knows about the whole relationship thing? I'm curious what she thinks because
A. Her feelings for Glory Girl
B. The fact that she knows Taylor was brain dead while she did it. (Does Taylor have a heartbeat? Would Abby notice something besides the scars is off during their time together?)
Ah.
Fuck.
...
FINALLY! LET THE CONFLICT BEGIN.
Sorry, had to get that out of my system.
I suppose Glory Girl is nearby...
I have a strange morbid curiosity as to what the monster body was doing during that whole time...
Wait, feedback loop? Her emotions created some kind of paradoxial feedback loop? No wonder it felt so good when she was having twice the pleasure.
Anyway, options from Amy I can think of:
Amy flips out
Plays it off as knowing Taylor has 'powers' or whatever she claims it to be
Blackmail
I am on the tips of my fucking toes in anticipation.
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