WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
she doesnt do brains and khanivore's brain is significantly bigger, for one
for two, i have no idea, but the brain thing is kinda important
Eden's Edge (Worm/Sonnie's Edge [Love, Death, and Robots])
for two, i have no idea, but the brain thing is kinda important
Ganurath
Literal Enthusiast
- Location
- A Valid Location
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Lack of access to the beastie body would likely obstruct her.
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Trying to make a giant monster with the genes of a human, or vice-versa, would probably give you super-cancer. Your DNA is what tells your cells how they are supposed to self-replicate and what they're supposed to look like. If you're a kaiju but your DNA keeps insisting you're supposed to look like a human girl, well. Then again, powers are bullshit, so *shrugs*.
Last edited:
Homesteads 6.3
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
THINGS ARE GOING TO GET INTERESTING NOW
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife, @hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics, and our girlfriend @SolarFlare for being awesome and also betaing! Also special thanks Prime Betas @Tamahori and @32nd_freeze and @Ganurath for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates! Excitement!
Homesteads
6.3
-.-.-
There was warmth on my side and wetness on my shoulder. Mmm. Abby? Noises were fuzzy, so I rolled my head over to the head of hair and made a mumble back. Hair was too fuzzy to be Abby though.
"Hey." Gentle voice from near me. Firm hand on the front of my shoulder. The dry one. "Hey."
"Mmrrh."
"Shh. Don't wake Amy up." The voice got even quieter. "Just wanted to check you were okay."
"Mmmm'okay." Didn't wanna open my eyes.
"You're really going to ruin your sleep cycle like this." The voice softened again. "Then again, not really one to talk. Or talk to, apparently, which is - I'm glad she talked to someone though." That firm hand on my shoulder again. "I'll let you rest. Mom'll be up to be worried after dinner, so you might want to be back in your room by then if you want to avoid the interrogationzon-9000. Fair warning." A soft squeeze, the gentle sound of someone trying to move very quietly.
"Mmm." I shifted a little, just slightly, to wrap my free arm around cutie I was sleeping with. It was nice not having nightmares…
"Mnuh?" said a much less quiet voice from my wet shoulder. Very scratchy and hoarse. "'Tori?"
"Go back to sleep, Ames. I'm just, uh. The tooth fairy."
"Fucker," mumbled the hoarser voice, and something burrowed itself into the wet patch. "S'not what it - "
"Yeah, I figured. Rest, you spoonhead. I'll talk to you two later." The sound of a door opening unbearably slowly. "... it's good you two had some - talking time. I really do think you both would be good friends."
"'uckoff."
"Right, right." The sound of the door closing again.
Blissful silence, broken only by the sound of breathing and heartbeats. I pulled the blanket up lazily and purred, drifting across the edge of consciousness and back. Warm fuzzy, soft fuzzy, seething ball of rage~
I hope I didn't snore. Amy didn't need that on top of… on top of… other… other stuff?
The face buried into my shoulder relaxed after a moment. "You really purr," she noted quietly, a small, soft chuckle turning into an almost sob. I purred louder and cuddled her closer. Does this make me a cat person? A catgirl?
I could imagine asking Mom about it now.
"Mom, am I part cat?"
"Yes, now would you please stop clawing the furniture."
"I suppose this explains that time I walked into Carol's office and kept eye-contact with her while pushing everything off her desk, one item at a time..."
Amy wriggled a little in my grip, trying to settle. Fingers tapped the quilt near my head, a rough arrhythmic patter. I could feel her leg start to jiggle a little, the twitch of her nose against my hair. The way her breathing shifted and started to even out then would stop, speed up, slow down again, almost its own little rhythm.
Mmmmmmmmmmore nuzzling. Fuzzy. Wished my senses were better. Could smell the chemicals and pheromones and moods of people. All I could smell right now was some kind of… shampoo. And salt.
The shifting and fiddling grew to a fever pitch. "Taylor?"
"Mmmmmmm…"
A long pause, before the voice said quietly, "I need to pee."
"Mmhhhh…" I shuffled away and wiggled - that wasn't going to work. I grabbed her and rolled over so she was on the other side and not trapped between me and wall. Perfect. She gave a little squeak as we moved, one hand clawing at my hair, the other digging somewhere into my spine. She had bony little fingers. "Aahn."
With a disgusted noise, Amy wrenched herself from my grip. "Gross and - and uncomfortable - and smells and - " The bed shifted as she stood up. "Ugh. Going to pee. You should probably go back to your room. Or something."
I yawned. Or something. "Mmmmghhh… but sleepy…" I pushed myself upright and rubbed at my eyes. No… gooey sleepy ick?
"It's five in the afternoon. Unless you want to be up all night, sleeping now is probably not a great idea." Stumbling noises. "Ugh, my sleep cycle is so fucked."
"Sleep is for the weak…" I mumbled. "And I am a noodle."
"Sleep in your own bed then."
"Keep me company."
But she was gone. Or ignoring me. My shoulder was wet with… tears, snot, and drool, probably. I stumbled out into the hall, everything too-bright and too-white for my sleep-addled brain to cope with. I started pulling off my shirt as I pushed open the door to my room -
"UM."
I blinked a few times. "Victoria? What're you -" I yawned again. "Doin' in my room?"
"Uh. This is my room. Yours is the next."
"Right. Sorry." I mumbled, shutting the door behind me and going further down the hall. Zombie shuffle. Next door, nobody in here, probably my room. Fresh shirt on, slightly more awake, I went back to Victoria's room and knocked. "I'm dressed this time."
"You were - mostly dressed the first time. You just had a shoulder that was covered in unspeakable fluids." Victoria raised an eyebrow from where she was half lying on her bed, laptop resting on the pillow. "You doing okay? Dean wanted to say goodbye earlier but. Didn't want to bother you."
"Mmm. Jus' sleepy." Awake but struggling to keep my eyes open. Like my mind was cognizant but my body was lead. I slumped down on the floor and draped my arms over the bed in front of her, leaning on it like a pillow. "There was… something you wanted to talk about? I think?"
"... I mean. In general or." Her feet drummed on the floor next to me. "Soooo. You and Amy?"
"Mmm. She." How do I say have a breakdown without saying had a breakdown? "Mm."
"I'm glad she let you be there for her." Victoria's fingers twitched. "She, um. I keep trying to persuade her and Mom that she might have depression like Dad does, but they don't really listen. And I don't want to like, armchair diagnose either, because I think stress breakdowns are just part of being a cape? Which sounds really grim, and kind of is, but. That's what all the official literature suggests anyway." She drummed her thumbs on her laptop.
"Yeah. Stress breakdown." I nodded. Yawned again.
"It looks like she, uh. Got you pretty good during the angry bit of it."
"Heh. Bit."
"Wait she bit you?" Victoria's face peered down at me, framed by her hair. "How would she bite your - oh. Oh!" Then she scowled and kicked me gently in the side. "Taylor!"
"I didn' start it." I grumbled, poking the nearest bit of her I could reach without moving. It felt kinda squishy, so I guessed thigh. "Can you - not tell her I told you if I share a little bit because I'm worried and wholly unqualified except for being sorta friends but also detached enough from the family for her to talk?"
"... I don't think you should share unless you have her permission. Sorry. But, um, if she confided in you, she did so for a reason, and - " Victoria shrugged. Then bit her lip. "Unless - if you think she's genuinely a danger to herself. Like, um. Stuff. Wise. I don't - if she is then wow am I going to feel like a shit sister but - I mean, um, maybe that might be something to get her to talk to a psychologist about. If she feels that way." She wriggled. "Argh I wanna go bother her about this but I can't."
I patted the thigh. "Vicky. I just wanna say that - that the only reason I could talk to her was cos I'm not part of the family."
"Ughhhh don't call me Vicky."
"Sorry Vic." I stuck my tongue out at her cheekily.
"That also sucks but it's better than Vicky." She sighed, a short sharp breath through her nose. "And I am glad she did talk to you. To someone. Don't tell Mom yet though, because she's all - super worried about the Eden thing and will get all pestery and whiny. I mean, I want to be pestering too, but I can restrain myself. Just about."
"Mmm." I nodded. "Just - one question." I opened my eyes up fully, maybe forcefully wide, to look up at her. I shouldn't. I really really shouldn't. But I needed to know. "If I - apologised out of the blue. For sleeping with her daughter. Which one of you would she think I slept with?"
"You are literally the horniest person in the universe. Sweaty PHO neckbeards who post terrible fanart of me with size J breasts getting gangbanged by unrealistic furry C53s are less horny than you are." She flopped back out of sight onto the bed.
I poked her. "I know. But serious question."
"Probably me because you've been flirting with me a lot and staring at my ass?"
I frowned. "I haven't been staring at your ass."
"Glancing at my ass, then."
"To be honest I'm more of a boob girl."
"Yeah, but my ass is still great, right?"
"Do you want me to be a horny teenager at you or not?" I laughed. "Yes, it is great, and I would spout bad poetry about it if I knew how to do poetry."
"Right, so - yeah, don't do that because then I'll get a dumb lecture from her about how you're in a vulnerable emotional state - as if I don't know that - and that cheating is bad - fucking duh, not that anything between us would ever happen without extensive talks with Abigail and Dean for ages beforehand."
I winced and curled up. Cheating. That's exactly what all my wants of other people must feel like to Abby.
"... shit. Sorry. I didn't - that's not what I meant." Victoria slid off the bed next to me. "Being poly isn't cheating it's - she'd be yelling at me about being a homewrecker and cheating on Dean. She wouldn't blame you. And Mom'd be right."
"It's being with someone else when I'm already with someone monogamous."
"It's being with someone else when you haven't talked things through with your partner. And being with has a lot of definitions, and cheating is complicated - look, I don't know enough about poly stuff to really help here." Victoria's arm crept round my shoulder and she pulled me in. "Point is, if you did say that out of nowhere you'd be a total troll, and the result would basically be me getting shouted at a bit until I could get Mom to listen."
I tried to force a smile. "Don't worry, I won't. I have a slight sense of self-preservation. Somewhere." Given I basically stuck around after Amy the fuckmothering biokinetic nearly bit my lip off, I doubt it's anywhere in this house. "... my lip is still busted up, isn't it?"
"A little?"
"Is your mom gonna notice and get one or all of us in trouble about it?"
Victoria bit her own lip and worried at it for a moment before sighing. "Probably. You could probably convince Amy to fix it by pointing out that if noticed, Mom'll start getting nosey. Or maybe say you fell or something? I dunno. I mean..."
I nodded. Yawned. And let my head drop onto her shoulder. "Mmm. Okay."
"Or you could just be sleepy. If you're all curled up in bed she probably won't notice."
"Keep me company?" I tried to keep the too-hopeful note out of my voice. "Keeps me… grounded. Less nightmares or waking up in the wrong body."
"Is this just a ploy to snuggle another cute girl?" But her other arm tucked under me, lifted me up, and slid me onto her bed. "Sure. I'll be in the chair over there, okay? I'm doing some homework stuff. I mean, even if we aren't going to school and our teachers are going to do frontflips for the rest of time, it's still important to learn stuff."
"Mm. My ploys usually involve more bad flirting." Her bed was soft. And her chair was close enough I could reach out and drape my hand over her knee. "Like that time I… mm… something." Another yawn. So, so tired. "Not sure if I should keep learning. 'M on a doomsday clock." I didn't want to think about that. About how long Tinketech lasted unmaintained. Even the best - besides outliers like Dragon - had a shelf-life measured in years, if not months.
"No you aren't." The rolling sound of the chair moving closer. "... I don't like your Mom much but. She does think she loves you. I don't think she'd let you get hurt if she could help it. And Ames and I won't either. Nor will Mom or Dad. Or Chris, who you totally know is Kid Win."
"I'm still Tinkertech." I dipped my head. "And yeah. Know about Chris. Should have guessed when him and Armsmaster had nearly matching numbers."
"Then we'll like, get Dragon to help. Or something. If it's your other body you're worried about I'm sure Amy can keep it in tip top condition. Or maybe part of your Mom's plea deal can be like, working to keep you alive and healthy." A hand on my hair. "There are options. You're not doomed."
"There are options but they're all leashes." I sniffled. "Even if it wouldn't work out for you, you can fly away to anywhere, make a living, keep going. You can cut contacts. You can leave everything behind. I'm - I'm always going to be tied to someone. To Mom, to Amy, to whatever Tinker needs to keep me alive, I'm always going to be a burden on someone. Always going to feel guilty about making them come to me. Even if they're the best and nicest options, I'm always going to feel guilty about it. Like I can never pay back this shitty world enough to make it worth taking the time of day to keep my useless ass in it."
Victoria was silent for a long time, during which I sat there and felt miserable. "Taylor, I say this with the best will in the world but that's really stupid."
"Emotions don't care about logic and rationality." I wiped at my face. "So yeah, even if it is stupid, I'm stupid, and - and -" I curled in tighter. "I don't know. Thinking about things hurts. I'm sorry." Why do I have to be so emotional and worthless and -
"No, what I meant was - Taylor, babe. We all need people. If you - if you feel guilty for needing people and not being a total solitary island then - then even if you didn't need help for your disability, you'd need help from like. Grocery stores. Or having a job. And feeling guilty about that, about having the resources you need to stay alive? That's not - I get it, I think. Dad gets like this sometimes? About how he doesn't deserve treatment, or whatever? But that's not how anything works. Something in his brain doesn't work right, so he needs treatment. Yeah, maybe there's someone else out there whose brain works - even less than it should, but it doesn't invalidate his need for treatment." The dip of her kneeling on the bed, her arms wrapping round me. Strong and warm and golden. "And it doesn't for you either, you goose. You're physically disabled in like a - a literal sense as I understand it, like your brain doesn't talk properly to the rest of your body without help. That's not your fault, that's the fault of - of - " She cut herself off. "The point is. The point is that feeling guilty about getting the treatment you need to live a normal life isn't - you shouldn't feel guilty about that. It's not bad, it's not your fault, and it's dumb. So don't."
I sniffled and clung to her. "O-okay. I'll - I'll t-try." It hurt.
"Good." She was a much more still cuddler than Amy. "Friends aren't leashes, or something you should feel - guilt about them helping you. We like you and wanna help. Think of it like - you're doing us a favour, right? You wouldn't have left Amy to be upset and - and we won't leave you to be upset either."
I nodded quickly. "Okay. I'm sorry. I just keep thinking about how Mom was s-so - intense about. Keeping me safe. Keeping me under control. Y-you guys aren't. Aren't like that. You're better. I just n-need to. Get that through my stupid thick skull."
"Hell yeah we are." A kiss to my temple. "We won't be leashes. And if we ever become leashes, tell us and I'll - I dunno. I want to say something overdramatic here, but I'll settle for honesty. Tell me and I'll try not to be. And if I can't, then we'll find you someone who isn't a leash for sure."
"I'm not even sure what I mean by leash anymore. Anchor?"
Victoria's hand rubbed the back of my head. "Do you want to travel?"
I sighed and sniffled some more. "I don't know. Brockton's kinda a shithole but it's the only shithole I know and the world's going to hell anyway." Where else would I even go? Things in the US were - pretty bad. Things elsewhere in the world were just so different. Half the civilized countries didn't have PRT or PRT analogues.
"The rest of the world's not that bad. Most of it's better than the Bay in terms of crime statistics and capes - the developed world, I mean. I - assume you wouldn't want to go to South Africa or Nairobi or - try and sneak into China or something."
"I'm not suicidal." I paused. "... yet, apparently."
"Right. So there's lots of great places to go. I hear London's nice. Probably full of people eating scones or whatever British people do. Drinking tea? Complaining about the colonies?" Victoria's hand rubbed the back of my head again. "Canada's pretty awesome, the bits that aren't trekless waste. I stopped off for an hour in Paris once and that hour was… pretty unfun, actually, but I don't think that was Paris' fault. Rome's meant to be cool. You could take a girlfriend there. You and Abby could hang out in the Colosseum or something."
I snorted and dropped my head against her. "The Colosseum, where boring humans imitated the art of kaiju battles."
"Yeah. Exactly." Just the barest hint of her fingernails against my scalp.
"That sounds… nice. Getting away from it all." I wish I could. "The Guild are those - S-Class hunters, right?"
"Yeah. Dragon, Narwhal, Herne, King Green…"
"D-do you think they'd be interested in Beastie backup?" I closed my eyes and curled up a little. "If I ever get out of Brockton maybe I could join them, try and - make the world a safer place for my girlfriend." Whoever she is at the time. Or girlfriends. I don't know.
Victoria was silent again, her hand still. "Taylor… you're a civilian. I mean - you're technically a disabled civilian. Maybe technically a - victim of a permanent body altering power, or whatever the equivalent is legally. I don't think you joining a hero team is… viable." Her hand shifted, and when I looked up she was frowning, looking at the wall. "And the Guild are seriously tough they - I wanted to grow up and join them when I was young, and I even talked to Dragon about it after I triggered but the kinds of powers they're looking for aren't… straightforward, like that."
"A girl can dream." I sniffled. "Maybe. I don't know. I think I'm trying to do the distract myself thing again. Did I hit a sadness feedback loop without realising?"
"Maybe? I could try tickling you? Might override it."
"No th-AAH, VICKY!" I squealed and squirmed and kicked out but she was too strong - and had that stupid forcefield - AND - aaaaaaaah! "Ss-stoooop!"
"See?" The tickling assault slowed, and she grinned, sharp and radiant. "No more sadness loop."
"Y-you -" I coughed and tried to get my breath back, "You didn't even let me make an innuendo about how tickle fights usually end up with one person on top of the other, looking deeply into each other's eyes -"
"That is a line pulled straight from Web of Intrigue." She snorted, and floated to a foot away. "You dork."
"Your dork~" I blew her a kiss, just like Forgetmenot had done in response to that line.
She gave me a look. "Boyfriend."
"I was quoting the fic." I stuck my tongue out at her. "I thought you were a woman of culture." I pouted.
"Wait - is that in one of the new chapters?"
"Um. Yeah?"
"Shit - spoilers!" She shot down and started gently nudging me towards the door. "Out, outoutout, I need to catch up on my guilty pleasure!"
"Okay, okay." The door didn't quite slam behind me, but I laughed. "Have fun~"
Maybe - maybe today wasn't so bad after all?
-.-.-
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife, @hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics, and our girlfriend @SolarFlare for being awesome and also betaing! Also special thanks Prime Betas @Tamahori and @32nd_freeze and @Ganurath for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates! Excitement!
Homesteads
6.3
-.-.-
There was warmth on my side and wetness on my shoulder. Mmm. Abby? Noises were fuzzy, so I rolled my head over to the head of hair and made a mumble back. Hair was too fuzzy to be Abby though.
"Hey." Gentle voice from near me. Firm hand on the front of my shoulder. The dry one. "Hey."
"Mmrrh."
"Shh. Don't wake Amy up." The voice got even quieter. "Just wanted to check you were okay."
"Mmmm'okay." Didn't wanna open my eyes.
"You're really going to ruin your sleep cycle like this." The voice softened again. "Then again, not really one to talk. Or talk to, apparently, which is - I'm glad she talked to someone though." That firm hand on my shoulder again. "I'll let you rest. Mom'll be up to be worried after dinner, so you might want to be back in your room by then if you want to avoid the interrogationzon-9000. Fair warning." A soft squeeze, the gentle sound of someone trying to move very quietly.
"Mmm." I shifted a little, just slightly, to wrap my free arm around cutie I was sleeping with. It was nice not having nightmares…
"Mnuh?" said a much less quiet voice from my wet shoulder. Very scratchy and hoarse. "'Tori?"
"Go back to sleep, Ames. I'm just, uh. The tooth fairy."
"Fucker," mumbled the hoarser voice, and something burrowed itself into the wet patch. "S'not what it - "
"Yeah, I figured. Rest, you spoonhead. I'll talk to you two later." The sound of a door opening unbearably slowly. "... it's good you two had some - talking time. I really do think you both would be good friends."
"'uckoff."
"Right, right." The sound of the door closing again.
Blissful silence, broken only by the sound of breathing and heartbeats. I pulled the blanket up lazily and purred, drifting across the edge of consciousness and back. Warm fuzzy, soft fuzzy, seething ball of rage~
I hope I didn't snore. Amy didn't need that on top of… on top of… other… other stuff?
The face buried into my shoulder relaxed after a moment. "You really purr," she noted quietly, a small, soft chuckle turning into an almost sob. I purred louder and cuddled her closer. Does this make me a cat person? A catgirl?
I could imagine asking Mom about it now.
"Mom, am I part cat?"
"Yes, now would you please stop clawing the furniture."
"I suppose this explains that time I walked into Carol's office and kept eye-contact with her while pushing everything off her desk, one item at a time..."
Amy wriggled a little in my grip, trying to settle. Fingers tapped the quilt near my head, a rough arrhythmic patter. I could feel her leg start to jiggle a little, the twitch of her nose against my hair. The way her breathing shifted and started to even out then would stop, speed up, slow down again, almost its own little rhythm.
Mmmmmmmmmmore nuzzling. Fuzzy. Wished my senses were better. Could smell the chemicals and pheromones and moods of people. All I could smell right now was some kind of… shampoo. And salt.
The shifting and fiddling grew to a fever pitch. "Taylor?"
"Mmmmmmm…"
A long pause, before the voice said quietly, "I need to pee."
"Mmhhhh…" I shuffled away and wiggled - that wasn't going to work. I grabbed her and rolled over so she was on the other side and not trapped between me and wall. Perfect. She gave a little squeak as we moved, one hand clawing at my hair, the other digging somewhere into my spine. She had bony little fingers. "Aahn."
With a disgusted noise, Amy wrenched herself from my grip. "Gross and - and uncomfortable - and smells and - " The bed shifted as she stood up. "Ugh. Going to pee. You should probably go back to your room. Or something."
I yawned. Or something. "Mmmmghhh… but sleepy…" I pushed myself upright and rubbed at my eyes. No… gooey sleepy ick?
"It's five in the afternoon. Unless you want to be up all night, sleeping now is probably not a great idea." Stumbling noises. "Ugh, my sleep cycle is so fucked."
"Sleep is for the weak…" I mumbled. "And I am a noodle."
"Sleep in your own bed then."
"Keep me company."
But she was gone. Or ignoring me. My shoulder was wet with… tears, snot, and drool, probably. I stumbled out into the hall, everything too-bright and too-white for my sleep-addled brain to cope with. I started pulling off my shirt as I pushed open the door to my room -
"UM."
I blinked a few times. "Victoria? What're you -" I yawned again. "Doin' in my room?"
"Uh. This is my room. Yours is the next."
"Right. Sorry." I mumbled, shutting the door behind me and going further down the hall. Zombie shuffle. Next door, nobody in here, probably my room. Fresh shirt on, slightly more awake, I went back to Victoria's room and knocked. "I'm dressed this time."
"You were - mostly dressed the first time. You just had a shoulder that was covered in unspeakable fluids." Victoria raised an eyebrow from where she was half lying on her bed, laptop resting on the pillow. "You doing okay? Dean wanted to say goodbye earlier but. Didn't want to bother you."
"Mmm. Jus' sleepy." Awake but struggling to keep my eyes open. Like my mind was cognizant but my body was lead. I slumped down on the floor and draped my arms over the bed in front of her, leaning on it like a pillow. "There was… something you wanted to talk about? I think?"
"... I mean. In general or." Her feet drummed on the floor next to me. "Soooo. You and Amy?"
"Mmm. She." How do I say have a breakdown without saying had a breakdown? "Mm."
"I'm glad she let you be there for her." Victoria's fingers twitched. "She, um. I keep trying to persuade her and Mom that she might have depression like Dad does, but they don't really listen. And I don't want to like, armchair diagnose either, because I think stress breakdowns are just part of being a cape? Which sounds really grim, and kind of is, but. That's what all the official literature suggests anyway." She drummed her thumbs on her laptop.
"Yeah. Stress breakdown." I nodded. Yawned again.
"It looks like she, uh. Got you pretty good during the angry bit of it."
"Heh. Bit."
"Wait she bit you?" Victoria's face peered down at me, framed by her hair. "How would she bite your - oh. Oh!" Then she scowled and kicked me gently in the side. "Taylor!"
"I didn' start it." I grumbled, poking the nearest bit of her I could reach without moving. It felt kinda squishy, so I guessed thigh. "Can you - not tell her I told you if I share a little bit because I'm worried and wholly unqualified except for being sorta friends but also detached enough from the family for her to talk?"
"... I don't think you should share unless you have her permission. Sorry. But, um, if she confided in you, she did so for a reason, and - " Victoria shrugged. Then bit her lip. "Unless - if you think she's genuinely a danger to herself. Like, um. Stuff. Wise. I don't - if she is then wow am I going to feel like a shit sister but - I mean, um, maybe that might be something to get her to talk to a psychologist about. If she feels that way." She wriggled. "Argh I wanna go bother her about this but I can't."
I patted the thigh. "Vicky. I just wanna say that - that the only reason I could talk to her was cos I'm not part of the family."
"Ughhhh don't call me Vicky."
"Sorry Vic." I stuck my tongue out at her cheekily.
"That also sucks but it's better than Vicky." She sighed, a short sharp breath through her nose. "And I am glad she did talk to you. To someone. Don't tell Mom yet though, because she's all - super worried about the Eden thing and will get all pestery and whiny. I mean, I want to be pestering too, but I can restrain myself. Just about."
"Mmm." I nodded. "Just - one question." I opened my eyes up fully, maybe forcefully wide, to look up at her. I shouldn't. I really really shouldn't. But I needed to know. "If I - apologised out of the blue. For sleeping with her daughter. Which one of you would she think I slept with?"
"You are literally the horniest person in the universe. Sweaty PHO neckbeards who post terrible fanart of me with size J breasts getting gangbanged by unrealistic furry C53s are less horny than you are." She flopped back out of sight onto the bed.
I poked her. "I know. But serious question."
"Probably me because you've been flirting with me a lot and staring at my ass?"
I frowned. "I haven't been staring at your ass."
"Glancing at my ass, then."
"To be honest I'm more of a boob girl."
"Yeah, but my ass is still great, right?"
"Do you want me to be a horny teenager at you or not?" I laughed. "Yes, it is great, and I would spout bad poetry about it if I knew how to do poetry."
"Right, so - yeah, don't do that because then I'll get a dumb lecture from her about how you're in a vulnerable emotional state - as if I don't know that - and that cheating is bad - fucking duh, not that anything between us would ever happen without extensive talks with Abigail and Dean for ages beforehand."
I winced and curled up. Cheating. That's exactly what all my wants of other people must feel like to Abby.
"... shit. Sorry. I didn't - that's not what I meant." Victoria slid off the bed next to me. "Being poly isn't cheating it's - she'd be yelling at me about being a homewrecker and cheating on Dean. She wouldn't blame you. And Mom'd be right."
"It's being with someone else when I'm already with someone monogamous."
"It's being with someone else when you haven't talked things through with your partner. And being with has a lot of definitions, and cheating is complicated - look, I don't know enough about poly stuff to really help here." Victoria's arm crept round my shoulder and she pulled me in. "Point is, if you did say that out of nowhere you'd be a total troll, and the result would basically be me getting shouted at a bit until I could get Mom to listen."
I tried to force a smile. "Don't worry, I won't. I have a slight sense of self-preservation. Somewhere." Given I basically stuck around after Amy the fuckmothering biokinetic nearly bit my lip off, I doubt it's anywhere in this house. "... my lip is still busted up, isn't it?"
"A little?"
"Is your mom gonna notice and get one or all of us in trouble about it?"
Victoria bit her own lip and worried at it for a moment before sighing. "Probably. You could probably convince Amy to fix it by pointing out that if noticed, Mom'll start getting nosey. Or maybe say you fell or something? I dunno. I mean..."
I nodded. Yawned. And let my head drop onto her shoulder. "Mmm. Okay."
"Or you could just be sleepy. If you're all curled up in bed she probably won't notice."
"Keep me company?" I tried to keep the too-hopeful note out of my voice. "Keeps me… grounded. Less nightmares or waking up in the wrong body."
"Is this just a ploy to snuggle another cute girl?" But her other arm tucked under me, lifted me up, and slid me onto her bed. "Sure. I'll be in the chair over there, okay? I'm doing some homework stuff. I mean, even if we aren't going to school and our teachers are going to do frontflips for the rest of time, it's still important to learn stuff."
"Mm. My ploys usually involve more bad flirting." Her bed was soft. And her chair was close enough I could reach out and drape my hand over her knee. "Like that time I… mm… something." Another yawn. So, so tired. "Not sure if I should keep learning. 'M on a doomsday clock." I didn't want to think about that. About how long Tinketech lasted unmaintained. Even the best - besides outliers like Dragon - had a shelf-life measured in years, if not months.
"No you aren't." The rolling sound of the chair moving closer. "... I don't like your Mom much but. She does think she loves you. I don't think she'd let you get hurt if she could help it. And Ames and I won't either. Nor will Mom or Dad. Or Chris, who you totally know is Kid Win."
"I'm still Tinkertech." I dipped my head. "And yeah. Know about Chris. Should have guessed when him and Armsmaster had nearly matching numbers."
"Then we'll like, get Dragon to help. Or something. If it's your other body you're worried about I'm sure Amy can keep it in tip top condition. Or maybe part of your Mom's plea deal can be like, working to keep you alive and healthy." A hand on my hair. "There are options. You're not doomed."
"There are options but they're all leashes." I sniffled. "Even if it wouldn't work out for you, you can fly away to anywhere, make a living, keep going. You can cut contacts. You can leave everything behind. I'm - I'm always going to be tied to someone. To Mom, to Amy, to whatever Tinker needs to keep me alive, I'm always going to be a burden on someone. Always going to feel guilty about making them come to me. Even if they're the best and nicest options, I'm always going to feel guilty about it. Like I can never pay back this shitty world enough to make it worth taking the time of day to keep my useless ass in it."
Victoria was silent for a long time, during which I sat there and felt miserable. "Taylor, I say this with the best will in the world but that's really stupid."
"Emotions don't care about logic and rationality." I wiped at my face. "So yeah, even if it is stupid, I'm stupid, and - and -" I curled in tighter. "I don't know. Thinking about things hurts. I'm sorry." Why do I have to be so emotional and worthless and -
"No, what I meant was - Taylor, babe. We all need people. If you - if you feel guilty for needing people and not being a total solitary island then - then even if you didn't need help for your disability, you'd need help from like. Grocery stores. Or having a job. And feeling guilty about that, about having the resources you need to stay alive? That's not - I get it, I think. Dad gets like this sometimes? About how he doesn't deserve treatment, or whatever? But that's not how anything works. Something in his brain doesn't work right, so he needs treatment. Yeah, maybe there's someone else out there whose brain works - even less than it should, but it doesn't invalidate his need for treatment." The dip of her kneeling on the bed, her arms wrapping round me. Strong and warm and golden. "And it doesn't for you either, you goose. You're physically disabled in like a - a literal sense as I understand it, like your brain doesn't talk properly to the rest of your body without help. That's not your fault, that's the fault of - of - " She cut herself off. "The point is. The point is that feeling guilty about getting the treatment you need to live a normal life isn't - you shouldn't feel guilty about that. It's not bad, it's not your fault, and it's dumb. So don't."
I sniffled and clung to her. "O-okay. I'll - I'll t-try." It hurt.
"Good." She was a much more still cuddler than Amy. "Friends aren't leashes, or something you should feel - guilt about them helping you. We like you and wanna help. Think of it like - you're doing us a favour, right? You wouldn't have left Amy to be upset and - and we won't leave you to be upset either."
I nodded quickly. "Okay. I'm sorry. I just keep thinking about how Mom was s-so - intense about. Keeping me safe. Keeping me under control. Y-you guys aren't. Aren't like that. You're better. I just n-need to. Get that through my stupid thick skull."
"Hell yeah we are." A kiss to my temple. "We won't be leashes. And if we ever become leashes, tell us and I'll - I dunno. I want to say something overdramatic here, but I'll settle for honesty. Tell me and I'll try not to be. And if I can't, then we'll find you someone who isn't a leash for sure."
"I'm not even sure what I mean by leash anymore. Anchor?"
Victoria's hand rubbed the back of my head. "Do you want to travel?"
I sighed and sniffled some more. "I don't know. Brockton's kinda a shithole but it's the only shithole I know and the world's going to hell anyway." Where else would I even go? Things in the US were - pretty bad. Things elsewhere in the world were just so different. Half the civilized countries didn't have PRT or PRT analogues.
"The rest of the world's not that bad. Most of it's better than the Bay in terms of crime statistics and capes - the developed world, I mean. I - assume you wouldn't want to go to South Africa or Nairobi or - try and sneak into China or something."
"I'm not suicidal." I paused. "... yet, apparently."
"Right. So there's lots of great places to go. I hear London's nice. Probably full of people eating scones or whatever British people do. Drinking tea? Complaining about the colonies?" Victoria's hand rubbed the back of my head again. "Canada's pretty awesome, the bits that aren't trekless waste. I stopped off for an hour in Paris once and that hour was… pretty unfun, actually, but I don't think that was Paris' fault. Rome's meant to be cool. You could take a girlfriend there. You and Abby could hang out in the Colosseum or something."
I snorted and dropped my head against her. "The Colosseum, where boring humans imitated the art of kaiju battles."
"Yeah. Exactly." Just the barest hint of her fingernails against my scalp.
"That sounds… nice. Getting away from it all." I wish I could. "The Guild are those - S-Class hunters, right?"
"Yeah. Dragon, Narwhal, Herne, King Green…"
"D-do you think they'd be interested in Beastie backup?" I closed my eyes and curled up a little. "If I ever get out of Brockton maybe I could join them, try and - make the world a safer place for my girlfriend." Whoever she is at the time. Or girlfriends. I don't know.
Victoria was silent again, her hand still. "Taylor… you're a civilian. I mean - you're technically a disabled civilian. Maybe technically a - victim of a permanent body altering power, or whatever the equivalent is legally. I don't think you joining a hero team is… viable." Her hand shifted, and when I looked up she was frowning, looking at the wall. "And the Guild are seriously tough they - I wanted to grow up and join them when I was young, and I even talked to Dragon about it after I triggered but the kinds of powers they're looking for aren't… straightforward, like that."
"A girl can dream." I sniffled. "Maybe. I don't know. I think I'm trying to do the distract myself thing again. Did I hit a sadness feedback loop without realising?"
"Maybe? I could try tickling you? Might override it."
"No th-AAH, VICKY!" I squealed and squirmed and kicked out but she was too strong - and had that stupid forcefield - AND - aaaaaaaah! "Ss-stoooop!"
"See?" The tickling assault slowed, and she grinned, sharp and radiant. "No more sadness loop."
"Y-you -" I coughed and tried to get my breath back, "You didn't even let me make an innuendo about how tickle fights usually end up with one person on top of the other, looking deeply into each other's eyes -"
"That is a line pulled straight from Web of Intrigue." She snorted, and floated to a foot away. "You dork."
"Your dork~" I blew her a kiss, just like Forgetmenot had done in response to that line.
She gave me a look. "Boyfriend."
"I was quoting the fic." I stuck my tongue out at her. "I thought you were a woman of culture." I pouted.
"Wait - is that in one of the new chapters?"
"Um. Yeah?"
"Shit - spoilers!" She shot down and started gently nudging me towards the door. "Out, outoutout, I need to catch up on my guilty pleasure!"
"Okay, okay." The door didn't quite slam behind me, but I laughed. "Have fun~"
Maybe - maybe today wasn't so bad after all?
-.-.-
- Location
- Earth, probably.
- Pronouns
- None/Any
Emotions will continue until conflict is resolved!
- Location
- Earth, Sol System, Virgo Supercluster, Earth-1218
FLUUUUUUUFFFFFF!!!!
Maybe one day Amy will get treated the way she wants, and the proper after care she deserves.
Maybe one day Amy will get treated the way she wants, and the proper after care she deserves.
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
stay out of my notes fucking damnit
Taliserian
(Unverified Verifiable)
- Location
- ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Taylor, you FOOL. You don't end chapters on that thought!
Rajvik_wolfboy
Wolf amongst the stars.
- Location
- Florida
Amileia, Taylor Solo, and Vicbacca
NomDeRNG
This Title Gives Me +3 Dorkitude
- Location
- Seattle
*Amy bites Taylor*
*Taylor gets pulled away*
Amy: "Fuck you."
Taylor: "I know."
*Taylor gets slowly lowered into carbonite.*
Vicbacca: "RRGRGRGRUUUUWWWWW!"
Last edited:
Kreivan Reyhers
The Edgebringr
- Location
- Canada
- Pronouns
- He
Excuse me I need a heart transplant after reading this, it couldn't handle the fluff overload from the past chapters
- Location
- Zambia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ohh this is good. And now it won't leave me
Homesteads 6.4
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Stupid teenagers being stupid!
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife, @hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics, and our girlfriend @SolarFlare for being awesome and also betaing! Also special thanks Prime Betas @Tamahori and @32nd_freeze and @Ganurath for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates! Excitement!
Homesteads
6.4
-.-.-
Dinner was an awkward affair. Amy's eyes were red and puffy from crying, Victoria's face was red and puffy from other, interrupted, activities, and I was stuck between them like the filling of a useless self-destructive lesbian sandwich.
"So um. No school tomorrow, huh?"
It was a pitiful attempt at conversation.
"I've talked with the school. They'll be emailing the homework and assignments you're expected to do while grounded." Way to shut it down, Brandish. "I am hoping I can trust you all enough to comport yourselves like you're still in an institution of learning during the day, despite changed circumstances." Comport?
"Well that puts paid to the orgy I'd had planned." Victoria poked her food. AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME?!
Brandish's head whipped round, her expression shifting from stone faced to something fluid and metallic. "Victoria."
"Jokes, mom. Look them up some time."
I scrunched down a little bit. Victoria was… braver than I was. Also a Brute so she might survive Brandish lashing out if she went too far, but Brandish wouldn't do that, would she? But this kind of intensity over a joke - I risked a glance at Amy. Yeah. Without Victoria's self-confidence, I could definitely see this kind of atmosphere over a long period leaving someone with… issues.
Brandish picked at her food, lips pursed tightly. Eventually she crossed her cutlery and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I seem - I don't want to be angry with you girls. It's not fun for me either. I just. Want you to learn from this experience and not recklessly endanger yourself in the future."
"Even though we're teenagers?" I forced a small smile but withered under her gaze. "Sorry."
"Even with allowances for your youth." Brandish confirmed. I took a calculated risk, but man. I am bad at math. "Mark and I will be on out for most of tomorrow -" Huh? Didn't she have a day job? If Mark was going, that meant patrolling. "- between patrol and the office. A number of problems have come up - " She cut herself off. "Anyway. Sarah will stop by before lunch to make sure none of you have run off again. And there will be a Protectorate member nearby later, though only briefly."
I was about to open my mouth to say 'we wouldn't run away' but then remembered why we were in this situation. For running away. Eventually I went with a mute nod.
"Yay, house arrest." Victoria twirled her fork over her plate, face smushed up against her hand as she leaned on the table. "My favourite."
"We could always do something after the school stuff is done, like… I dunno, browse PHO, watch a stupid movie…" I grimaced, trying to salvage things before Brandish -
"Watching a movie sounds like a good activity for you three." Brandish was poking at her food again. Right. Did she have to say everything the long way? It felt so - awkward. Like she was trying too hard to pass the turing test. "What about something historical? You enjoyed that period movie, Amelia."
"When I was twelve, and you're talking about the Temeraire series which was a fantastical reimagining of history."
"Right." Brandish's lips pursed more. I felt like at any moment she might suddenly try and pull out a skateboard and ask how us fellow kids were doing.
"Hmm… wasn't there a remake of Godzilla that came out recently?" I tapped my chin thoughtfully.
"The Earth Aleph one?" Victoria tilted her head further into her palm.
Amy made a face somewhere between a grimace and a scowl. "How about we watch something that isn't a giant monster movie?"
"Bah." I waved her off. "Philistines."
"Most people associate 'giant monster' with 'Endbringer', not 'Mom's newest DIY project'." Amy glowered.
"We must reclaim the genre." I nodded. "Like - rainbow capes reclaimed… rainbow or - I'm not even sure I'm using it right at this point," I admitted with a sigh, slumping. Food. The food was nice. Kind of like ash in my mouth compared to what I'd experienced over the weekend, though. That was… uncomfortable.
"You kind of aren't," Victoria said, but she smiled. "We'll figure something out."
I hoped so.
-.-.-
The night passed by without a stint in the tank. I was… honestly disappointed. I'd been hoping to talk to Mom again, but - maybe she was busy doing those surgeries she mentioned. Or dealing with more Nazi attacks or… who knew.
Homework passed by in what felt like a blur. I finally ate when I struggled to keep my head upright despite being fully awake - Amy had to step in to help me digest it and distribute the nutrients before I passed out ("Taylor, if you don't set an alarm for regular meals I am going to make the thought of not eating physically painful for you and you'll have to accept swelling to the size of a barge, now eat breakfast you lunatic.") - or just collapsed, it was unclear how that'd work given my brain function was non-local. I wasn't that interested in finding out.
I felt like a robot. Just going through the motions, and even then, forgetting half of them.
I missed Lady Photon's pre lunch checkup - Amy too, given she was watching me eat like a hawk - but our Protectorate check-in was Dauntless. Lightning-hoplite knocked on the door, made sure we were all still home, told us to keep out of trouble, and was off again. He was pretty nice about it, all things considered, especially since it looked like he was itching to get away. Victoria had gotten restless around midafternoon as well - not quite pacing but every time my gaze was back on her she was in another spot, hands and arms crossing and uncrossing, face twisting.
It was like a game of 'Where's Waldo' but not very fun or difficult. Now, trying to puzzle out what was on Amy's mind, and how close she was to having another breakdown like yesterday? Much more difficult and somehow even less fun.
She seemed… stable, ish. She busied herself with things like homework and threatening me to eat more regularly seemed to have dragged her mind off the matter, a bit, for which I was extremely thankful. When Victoria was off having a shower - nothing better to do - I asked her about experimenting with her power. Like, roses in different colours, little mundane things.
She reminded me about the first time we properly talked, about how I'd said I didn't want to be the one that opened Pandora's Box on the fact she could do cosmetic changes, do more than just healing. I thought Pandora's Box would be a neat Eden-identity name for her. She wasn't so enthusiastic. About any of it.
"Or - it's known but it's not… I already feel so much responsibility and guilt and maybe I should feel more, but I don't want to." Her hair hung in front of her face. "See what I mean about me being evil?"
"We can't save everyone, no matter how hard we try. You've already saved more than I think any other single person in this city can claim to have helped." I offered with a shrug. "From… what I know about trigger events, they're really shitty things. I think it sucks that you had to go through that, and the consolation prize got you saddled with more stress and guilt. If anything, your work at the hospital is a given privilege, not a 'right' to whoever's injured." I grimaced. "I'm not even sure if it'd be legal to force you to work, if you decided to walk out."
"I mean it is a right. If you have the tools to do something good, isn't it a moral obligation to do it? In a philosophical sense."
"Yes, but not at the cost of yourself." I nodded. "Mom taught about that years ago - if you're doing harm to yourself, it's time to slow down and reevaluate." Taught both me and her students at the university.
"Then why is martyrdom portrayed as a good thing? Also, your Mom maybe isn't the best role model for this stuff."
"Hey, this was years ago, back when Dad was still around." I shot back. "Martyrdom is portrayed as a good thing because the ones portraying it aren't the ones that died. It's usually a result, not an intention, not unless there's some serious political fuckery afoot."
"You do not know much about Catholic saints, huh." Amy shrugged. "Though to be fair, a bunch of them wanted to be martyrs and ended up having to cope with not getting murdered."
"How sad." I rolled my eyes. "Mom was never really one for religious stuff - given a bunch of them ended up on the 'hate the gays' spectrum, well." I shrugged. "But that feels like we're getting off-topic."
"Was your dad ever into any of that stuff?"
"I -" I paused. The answer was right on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't find it.
"... sorry. Shouldn't have asked." Amy hunched. "That was me being a bitch. I'm sorry, I asked because - because I knew you might not be able to answer and I was feeling mean and petty. So. Yay, evil time."
I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "You apologised and explained your thought process and feelings about it. So even if you are evil - which I still don't think you are, by the way - you're making good progress on mitigating that."
"Doing an evil thing and then saying 'whoops I suck' isn't really mitigation," Amy mumbled. She had pulled a small amount of hair into her mouth and was chewing on it, face completely covered apart from a freckly nose.
"You know, half of what therapy's about isn't like - curing your depression or whatever, a lot of the time it's just helping you articulate it better. So, being able to articulate this stuff - you can recognise behaviours, maybe work on them, I don't know." I shuffled closer and put an arm around her shoulders. Gentle squeeze. "I forgive you." And when she opened her mouth to rebuke it, "Ah ah ah, no. I forgive you. End of debate."
"S'not the end of debate," she said. But she leant into my hug.
I wondered how we would go about feeding her good wolf. Healing people had turned into a burden, a chore, an expectation of her. So… that was honestly going to take way too much effort to turn into a good thing, in her eyes, and would likely fail quickly. "We need to find you something fun to do. Something that's not good, not evil, just… fun."
"Are you hitting on me again?" She drew away a little and scowled.
"Actually, I was thinking of paintball." I shrugged. I really was!
"... that involves running around."
"It also involves shooting people for fun." I grinned, jostling her a little. "Come on, you can't deny you'd love to look down the scope, pull the trigger, and hear someone swear bloody murder while jumping around because you shot them in the ass."
"Yes, but that sounds like I'm enjoying hurting people." But she had a small smile on her face, mostly hidden by hair.
"Replace the person at the end of the scope with me and I'm sure you'd feel fine about it."
"Hmph." Her lips twitched. "But then you'd complain about me bruising your ass and never give anyone context."
"Fuck no, I'd be like 'hey guys I got to go paintball shooting with superheroes and got my ass kicked so badly!' and then you'd smack me upside the head and tell me I was an easy target or something."
"You would not be an easy target. You're too… buff and probably good at running around." Somehow, she made that sound like an insult. "Also, I'd just make you taste broccoli for the rest of the day."
"You are such a cruel, cruel mistress, Amy." I giggled, leaning my head on hers. "I'm too tall to hide behind things. Maybe you'd find a sniper's nest or something. Grow one out of a tree and just lie there, shooting whichever tall, dashing, strangely buff girl strays through your line of sight."
"And then Victoria provides you air support and my sniping ass ends up bruised." She blinked. "Ugh, that came out like something you'd say."
"Oh my god." I laughed, because that was so true. "Am I infectious?"
"Probably." Her sneer froze mid-motion and then collapsed into something guilt-stricken. "Fuck, sorry - you're trying to help me and I'm - fuck."
"Hey. It's okay." I patted her head. "You're like a briar patch, or - whatever those things are called. Lots of sweet berries for the taking, but you've got a ton of thorns in there. So I understand I'm gonna get pricked occasionally. Something something package deal?"
"That's not what I -" she made a grumbling noise and looked away. "It was mean because it was. About you and Abby and. Ugh. I suck."
I frowned. "What would - oh." The implications of - Abby being a serial monogamist. Lots of partners. Infectious. "Oh. Yeah, sorry, Amy, but that -" I winced. "I get how awkward it is with - exes and their new partners and stuff but -"
Amy tilted her head. "Exes? What?"
I blinked. "... oh my god I'm such an idiot." I buried my face in my hands. "I thought - when you warned me about - about that - that you were speaking from experience or something and you two used to date and aaaaaagh!"
"Taylor - I haven't ever really dated anyone, why would you think - that's why you were so weird about Abby and me, you - you are such a fucking idiot, I swear to Jesus."
"I knowwww." I stuffed my face in a pillow and quietly shrieked. "God, it's like I have five braincells and none of them are in my head."
Amy snorted. "Technically accurate."
I just had a terrible thought. Fish is brainfood. What does that make fish taco? That's a euphemism, right?
"I don't know how, but you're about to make some kind of terrible innuendo. This is your one warning before broccoli-taste for the next week. Don't."
I took a deep breath. Bit my lip. Tried to hold it in.
"Taylor…" she gave me a very stern look.
"I'm trying!" I squeaked, before collapsing into giggles against her. "It was so bad, too."
"All your weird innuendos are bad." She huffed. "At least they're normal sexually though."
I blinked. "There's… not-normal sexual innuendos?"
"I mean - " Amy waved a hand. "You know what I mean. You're an oversexed maniac, but at least that excess is within the normal bounds of sexual expression. As opposed to my stupid, perverted, lunatic mind."
"Come on, Amy, you're not that bad. And anyways, how dare you call yourself stupid while sitting next to me." I stuck my tongue out. "People might start to talk if they see us like this, Amy, they might begin to think you're even… gasp, warming up to me."
"No. Victoria's already bothering me - " Amy clenched her jaw shut. "And I am that bad. I'm fairly sure no-one but a lunatic finds the idea of making a partner into a sleeping bag hot."
"... I mean, there's an entire forum I know of that revolves around transformation fetishes, so it's not like you're alone in that." I shrugged, leaning on the armrest. "As long as we recognise it's fantasy and stick to safe, sane, and consensual for real life stuff… go wild?"
"... the people on it are probably all evil too. And I know me, I won't be satisfied with just stuff in my head." She pulled her knees up. "Can you take your mind off sex for a second and can we talk about literally anything else?"
"Right." Why… why was I so focused on that lately? It felt good and fun and I wanted more good and fun? Maybe I was going through hyper-compressed puberty on the other end of the connection? Who knew. "Well, I uh." … "This is harder than I thought."
"Goddamnit, Taylor." Amy's head slumped further into her knees.
"Sorry." I winced. I wanted to ask so many things, like - what if she was confusing libido for evil? Would that mean she was just incredibly sexually repressed? I could offer to help her but then I think she might not just stop at broccoli taste for a week. "Uhhhh… I'm trying. But my mind's sorta stuck on wondering - ooh, that's an idea. Spa days are a thing, right? Hot soak in a pool, massage…"
"I hate spa days." But she lifted her face up from her knees a little. "If you want spa days, Victoria's the one you should talk to."
"I'm trying to think of ways to help you de-stress that don't involve ix-say or whatever piglatin for sex is." I smushed my face up against my hand. "What is it you don't like about spa days? Granted, I've never had one, so I only have my imagination on what the massages are like, but a hot soak sounds good for anyone."
"A hot soak by myself. With other people around? With Victoria there and having her see how… awful and ugly I look?" Amy raised one shoulder in a half shrug. "And I just - everything takes ages and there's nothing to do."
Ah. So she was suffering from overworking, too much stress, and restlessness. Making relaxing pretty fucking hard because any time spent not doing was bad. But time spent doing was adding stress. Vicious cycle, one I didn't really know how to break.
"You're not ugly, Amy. I mean. Mentally it's like - not great. But you really are cute."
"Taylor, if it has breasts, you find it hot. You are not the greatest judge of attractiveness."
"Still thought you were cute before I realised I was gay." I countered. "Though, granted, that was rationalized as more of a 'I wish I looked like her' rather than 'I wish I could hold her' at the time." I held up a hand and started listing off on my fingers. "Your hair is like - soft warm colour, super curly and cute -"
"My hair is a pain in the ass to take care of, it's always getting tangled and it's dry and thin." Amy rolled her eyes. "Your hair is nice. Softer curls which probably get tangled less and you can actually put it in a plait or something without spending three hours with conditioner and hair straightener."
"Eh, back when I had a lot of it, I did spend ages taking care of it. It was the only part of me I considered beautiful, or, hell, even feminine. I treasured it. But then… stuff happened, as much as I liked my hair, I was always hiding in my hoodie anyways, so… now I just use whatever. If it was still long, it'd be a nest of knots and stuff with my current routine." I sighed. I really did miss it. My neck felt so cold these days. "Anyways - there's also your freckles. And your nose is cute too."
"So my face isn't completely hideous. My body's still gross." Amy bit her lip. "... I wish sometimes my powers didn't work on other things but worked on me."
I leaned forward to bring an arm around her again. "What would you do? I mean - I disagree with your body being gross, and not just because I'm apparently a borderline nymphomaniac lesbian, but you're probably not interested in hearing me wax poetic about it."
"Taller. Stronger. Better skin." She paused. "... some other things. I'd probably change my hair a lot. Sharper cheekbones. Not necessarily bigger, but better shaped…" She gestured vaguely at her torso.
I raised an eyebrow. "I mean I was already green with breast-envy but you're taking it to a whole new level." But I grinned. "Maybe… I don't know. I noticed Mom did some surgery on herself, and - still looks relatively fine. And she kinda did me too."
"She's not. The surgery on her and you is - different." She waved a hand. "Hers was a total hackjob, installed in a moment of desperation, she had it fixed up by the next time I saw her but when we were at your house she had about a week before her arm would've fallen off. Yours is smaller stuff, probably to do with preventing implant rejection, or to do with the implant. Cosmetic stuff - no."
"Huh. Even though I don't need glasses anymore?"
Amy looked up and frowned, then touched my cheek. "Okay. Now that I'm paying attention, your genetics - you should have a pretty heavy prescription. No it's - not your eyes it's - " She cut herself off.
"Yeah, she did something. Way back in the beginning, I think." I shrugged. "I'm just… wondering now. If it's possible to use your power through one of the Beasties - like, you pilot one, and then make changes to yourself."
"... it's the signal input she… something about you having your glasses - " She frowned. "Oh. Oh. Of course."
"Please share your newfound wisdom with me, my five brain cells are all chained up in the dungeon."
"I can't tell you some of it. But the glasses were - unable to be kept. So she altered the signal input from your optic nerve into the implant. Corrected it automatically, at the neural level." Amy frowned, fingers brushing feather-light against my cheek. It felt… nice. And given how her voice was unusually soft right now - "Yes, in the implant, not in the brain itself, it has to be. Because otherwise as your eyesight changed over time she'd need to adjust the changes, but somehow the implant analyses it on the fly… it's gorgeous technology."
I wasn't going to mention how sensual this moment was and ruin it. I was just going to smile softly and enjoy it. "I think Mom might be able to help you with… stuff. Especially if powers work through Beasties - I was looking on PHO and apparently all Tinkers kinda have a sub Trump rating? Other capes can inspire them or they can make stuff based on other capes so - if she made something boosted with inspiration from your power, and you piloted it - you might be able to like… sculpt your body how you want it." I paused. "... or just straight up sculpt a body and get her to do a brain transplant. Wouldn't be the first time she's done it, after all."
Amy shook her head. "My power's too dangerous."
"No, Amy." I stroked her hair. "Your power has the potential to be dangerous. The fact of the matter is -"
She shook her head again. "It is dangerous. I wouldn't… there was a minor powercopying villain who came through town once, and I had to be under twenty-four hour guard in case he took my power because then he'd be an S-class threat."
I puffed my cheeks out. "Okay, when you put it that way… yep, it is fucking terrifying. But you're better than that, and have proven it time and time again to everyone. Look, to be frank, I'm worried that if you stay overstressed too long, you'll snap and maybe… do some of those things that are evil. But I'd rather work with you to help, because honestly, if anyone deserves some good karma, it's you. You've saved, what, dozens of people a day, if not each hour sometimes?"
"Mnuh." Amy flopped her head onto my shoulder again. "You're way too optimistic about me."
"Well one of us has to be." I snorted. "And since you aren't, I'm picking up the slack. C'mon. There's gotta be something to cheer you up… comfort food? Ice cream? Noodles? I could check behind the bread bin and see if there's a new block of chocolate."
Amy was silent for a long time. Just sitting there with her knees pulled up to her chest and staring off into the middle-distance of the wall. Her voice was so small and quiet that I almost missed it when she said, "Prove it."
"Hm?" I blinked, looking back at her. She was - maybe blushing, but her jaw was clenched.
"I said, prove it." She turned to face me a little, but her eyes stayed away. "Prove what you said about - about my body."
"Prove that I find your body cute and beautiful?" I wrapped my arm around her again and pulled her close. Gently stroking her arm. "Mmm… if you want me to, I certainly could. Would you prefer here and now, or should we go somewhere with a bit more privacy first?" I asked, teasing only slightly.
"Privacy. I don't - " Her head twitched into a shake. "I don't think I want Victoria seeing."
"Okay." Was I… really going to do this? Despite my status of probably broken up with Abby? Could I really afford to back out? Me and my stupid big mouth and libido… had to go for broke. Had to try at least get Amy to destress, or - or make her believe what I'm trying to get across. And of course, there was the selfish part of me that said 'don't waste this chance!' like a lunatic. "My room? Yours? I think the bathroom with the massive tub is free…"
She twitched again. "I don't know. It was a stupid idea, forget it - "
I should have taken the out. I really should have taken the opportunity to just turn this into an awkward situation. Instead -
"Nnnope, I'm gonna make you feel good!" I proclaimed, picking her up - even curled up it was surprisingly easy to hold her - and made my way upstairs with her.
"I could've - I almost - put me down - !"
"In a moment~" I giggled. Caution to the wind. Only thought in my mind now was following through on my promise. She needed something to help her, and - this would hopefully do something good for her. The bathroom was free, thank goodness - I nudged the door shut behind me with my foot and let her down before I turned the lock. "So - how well do you know the whole safewords deal?" Be confident, Taylor.
"... you say it when you want sex stuff to stop happening? It's mostly associated with." She curled up more. "People like me who are fucked up about sex and won't stop otherwise."
"Hey." I crouched down and squeezed her shoulder. "It might be most associated with that, but when has the media portrayed any associations accurately? Safewords are good to have no matter how hard or soft play is. It lets you say no, protest, without actually causing it to stop. Which can play into stuff like rape fetishes, or tickle fights where you're squealing for them to stop but you don't actually want it to, or even occasionally wanting to verbally deny you're enjoying something that you like because you might find it shameful."
"Mnuh," said Amy, sounding unconvinced.
"So I'm going to have my way with you, proving how beautiful I think your body is. If you don't want me to stop, but want me to do something else - like, say, I'm edging towards your butt and you don't want your butt played with, use 'Sapphire', okay? And 'Pineapple' if you want me to just back off completely."
"W-what if I can't. Stop myself doing things to you."
I shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie, that is a worry, but." I hugged her close as I dared. "As much as I like this body and it has sentimental value, ultimately, it could be dropped in a furnace. While it would suck, and I wouldn't like it, it wouldn't be the end of the world, or even my life. If it wasn't for that, I would probably be freaking out a bit more. But I trust you, so I'd go ahead anyway." Do I trust her, or am I just that much of a useless horny lesbian?
She hunched even further down. At this point I had to wonder if she did yoga to be that flexible. "A-are you sure?"
"If the worst happens, and you ignore me saying the safewords, I'll ditch this body, wait half an hour, and check back to see if you've made me human again." I smiled softly. "Okay?"
"... okay." Her eye peered up at me from next to her knee, and, slowly, she reached out and touched my temple for a second, then withdrew her hand. "Um. Sorry, no, I had a thought but it's probably - creepy and weird and difficult - "
"Oh, Amy." I sighed, smiling as I pulled her hand back to my temple. "I'm here to prove it. I'm willing to let you experiment. Ultimately, I'm hoping to relieve some stress and tension. So if I haven't convinced you I'm not gonna judge you for whatever weird, creepy, difficult, or whatever thing you're thinking of, then clearly I've messed up somewhere." A kiss to her hand. "Communication. If you want something, all you have to do is ask."
"... I was going to change your hair colour but. I'd need to. Push all the dead hair out so. Um. All your hair is going to fall out and grow back in under a minute and I can. Put it back afterwards - "
I smiled and nodded. "Should I make a quick trip to the kitchen and guzzle a carton or two of milk so you have stuff to work with?" Maybe it was selfish of me to try and take advantage of the fact that I was struggling to keep my weight up enough to begin with, but...
"It. Might be good. I don't - want to put you to any trouble…"
"It's not a trouble." I said softly, leaning forward, fingertip under her chin, drawing out a long kiss to her lips - still so soft - before pulling back. "Your power gives you some really unique ways to have fun in the bedroom." I paused, and shrugged. "Or bathroom, as it may be. I'm more than willing to accommodate it."
She looked kind of dazed. "Lips are. Nice. Thought I might get. Distracted by the data but I could feel the whole thing and your vermillion borders stretching and your tubercules pressed to mine - " She suddenly coloured brilliant red. "Sorry that was probably unfathomably weird."
"It was adorable, and I promise you are supremely cute when you talk about the things that interest you." I grinned. "One more for the road, mm?"
She nodded, then hesitated. "There's um. A tin of protein powder in the cupboard, near the bread bin. Bring it and a jug with the milk and -"
I cut her off with a smooch. Yum. Her lips tasted like - warmth. And a bit of salt. She made a desperate, needy noise into my mouth and her fingers clawed at my side.
When we broke apart, there was a little bridge of saliva connecting us. "I'll be back in just a moment. And then we can really start to play~" I promised.
-.-.-
Next chapter will be on Questionable Questing!
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife, @hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics, and our girlfriend @SolarFlare for being awesome and also betaing! Also special thanks Prime Betas @Tamahori and @32nd_freeze and @Ganurath for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates! Excitement!
Homesteads
6.4
-.-.-
Dinner was an awkward affair. Amy's eyes were red and puffy from crying, Victoria's face was red and puffy from other, interrupted, activities, and I was stuck between them like the filling of a useless self-destructive lesbian sandwich.
"So um. No school tomorrow, huh?"
It was a pitiful attempt at conversation.
"I've talked with the school. They'll be emailing the homework and assignments you're expected to do while grounded." Way to shut it down, Brandish. "I am hoping I can trust you all enough to comport yourselves like you're still in an institution of learning during the day, despite changed circumstances." Comport?
"Well that puts paid to the orgy I'd had planned." Victoria poked her food. AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME?!
Brandish's head whipped round, her expression shifting from stone faced to something fluid and metallic. "Victoria."
"Jokes, mom. Look them up some time."
I scrunched down a little bit. Victoria was… braver than I was. Also a Brute so she might survive Brandish lashing out if she went too far, but Brandish wouldn't do that, would she? But this kind of intensity over a joke - I risked a glance at Amy. Yeah. Without Victoria's self-confidence, I could definitely see this kind of atmosphere over a long period leaving someone with… issues.
Brandish picked at her food, lips pursed tightly. Eventually she crossed her cutlery and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I seem - I don't want to be angry with you girls. It's not fun for me either. I just. Want you to learn from this experience and not recklessly endanger yourself in the future."
"Even though we're teenagers?" I forced a small smile but withered under her gaze. "Sorry."
"Even with allowances for your youth." Brandish confirmed. I took a calculated risk, but man. I am bad at math. "Mark and I will be on out for most of tomorrow -" Huh? Didn't she have a day job? If Mark was going, that meant patrolling. "- between patrol and the office. A number of problems have come up - " She cut herself off. "Anyway. Sarah will stop by before lunch to make sure none of you have run off again. And there will be a Protectorate member nearby later, though only briefly."
I was about to open my mouth to say 'we wouldn't run away' but then remembered why we were in this situation. For running away. Eventually I went with a mute nod.
"Yay, house arrest." Victoria twirled her fork over her plate, face smushed up against her hand as she leaned on the table. "My favourite."
"We could always do something after the school stuff is done, like… I dunno, browse PHO, watch a stupid movie…" I grimaced, trying to salvage things before Brandish -
"Watching a movie sounds like a good activity for you three." Brandish was poking at her food again. Right. Did she have to say everything the long way? It felt so - awkward. Like she was trying too hard to pass the turing test. "What about something historical? You enjoyed that period movie, Amelia."
"When I was twelve, and you're talking about the Temeraire series which was a fantastical reimagining of history."
"Right." Brandish's lips pursed more. I felt like at any moment she might suddenly try and pull out a skateboard and ask how us fellow kids were doing.
"Hmm… wasn't there a remake of Godzilla that came out recently?" I tapped my chin thoughtfully.
"The Earth Aleph one?" Victoria tilted her head further into her palm.
Amy made a face somewhere between a grimace and a scowl. "How about we watch something that isn't a giant monster movie?"
"Bah." I waved her off. "Philistines."
"Most people associate 'giant monster' with 'Endbringer', not 'Mom's newest DIY project'." Amy glowered.
"We must reclaim the genre." I nodded. "Like - rainbow capes reclaimed… rainbow or - I'm not even sure I'm using it right at this point," I admitted with a sigh, slumping. Food. The food was nice. Kind of like ash in my mouth compared to what I'd experienced over the weekend, though. That was… uncomfortable.
"You kind of aren't," Victoria said, but she smiled. "We'll figure something out."
I hoped so.
-.-.-
The night passed by without a stint in the tank. I was… honestly disappointed. I'd been hoping to talk to Mom again, but - maybe she was busy doing those surgeries she mentioned. Or dealing with more Nazi attacks or… who knew.
Homework passed by in what felt like a blur. I finally ate when I struggled to keep my head upright despite being fully awake - Amy had to step in to help me digest it and distribute the nutrients before I passed out ("Taylor, if you don't set an alarm for regular meals I am going to make the thought of not eating physically painful for you and you'll have to accept swelling to the size of a barge, now eat breakfast you lunatic.") - or just collapsed, it was unclear how that'd work given my brain function was non-local. I wasn't that interested in finding out.
I felt like a robot. Just going through the motions, and even then, forgetting half of them.
I missed Lady Photon's pre lunch checkup - Amy too, given she was watching me eat like a hawk - but our Protectorate check-in was Dauntless. Lightning-hoplite knocked on the door, made sure we were all still home, told us to keep out of trouble, and was off again. He was pretty nice about it, all things considered, especially since it looked like he was itching to get away. Victoria had gotten restless around midafternoon as well - not quite pacing but every time my gaze was back on her she was in another spot, hands and arms crossing and uncrossing, face twisting.
It was like a game of 'Where's Waldo' but not very fun or difficult. Now, trying to puzzle out what was on Amy's mind, and how close she was to having another breakdown like yesterday? Much more difficult and somehow even less fun.
She seemed… stable, ish. She busied herself with things like homework and threatening me to eat more regularly seemed to have dragged her mind off the matter, a bit, for which I was extremely thankful. When Victoria was off having a shower - nothing better to do - I asked her about experimenting with her power. Like, roses in different colours, little mundane things.
She reminded me about the first time we properly talked, about how I'd said I didn't want to be the one that opened Pandora's Box on the fact she could do cosmetic changes, do more than just healing. I thought Pandora's Box would be a neat Eden-identity name for her. She wasn't so enthusiastic. About any of it.
"Or - it's known but it's not… I already feel so much responsibility and guilt and maybe I should feel more, but I don't want to." Her hair hung in front of her face. "See what I mean about me being evil?"
"We can't save everyone, no matter how hard we try. You've already saved more than I think any other single person in this city can claim to have helped." I offered with a shrug. "From… what I know about trigger events, they're really shitty things. I think it sucks that you had to go through that, and the consolation prize got you saddled with more stress and guilt. If anything, your work at the hospital is a given privilege, not a 'right' to whoever's injured." I grimaced. "I'm not even sure if it'd be legal to force you to work, if you decided to walk out."
"I mean it is a right. If you have the tools to do something good, isn't it a moral obligation to do it? In a philosophical sense."
"Yes, but not at the cost of yourself." I nodded. "Mom taught about that years ago - if you're doing harm to yourself, it's time to slow down and reevaluate." Taught both me and her students at the university.
"Then why is martyrdom portrayed as a good thing? Also, your Mom maybe isn't the best role model for this stuff."
"Hey, this was years ago, back when Dad was still around." I shot back. "Martyrdom is portrayed as a good thing because the ones portraying it aren't the ones that died. It's usually a result, not an intention, not unless there's some serious political fuckery afoot."
"You do not know much about Catholic saints, huh." Amy shrugged. "Though to be fair, a bunch of them wanted to be martyrs and ended up having to cope with not getting murdered."
"How sad." I rolled my eyes. "Mom was never really one for religious stuff - given a bunch of them ended up on the 'hate the gays' spectrum, well." I shrugged. "But that feels like we're getting off-topic."
"Was your dad ever into any of that stuff?"
"I -" I paused. The answer was right on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't find it.
"... sorry. Shouldn't have asked." Amy hunched. "That was me being a bitch. I'm sorry, I asked because - because I knew you might not be able to answer and I was feeling mean and petty. So. Yay, evil time."
I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "You apologised and explained your thought process and feelings about it. So even if you are evil - which I still don't think you are, by the way - you're making good progress on mitigating that."
"Doing an evil thing and then saying 'whoops I suck' isn't really mitigation," Amy mumbled. She had pulled a small amount of hair into her mouth and was chewing on it, face completely covered apart from a freckly nose.
"You know, half of what therapy's about isn't like - curing your depression or whatever, a lot of the time it's just helping you articulate it better. So, being able to articulate this stuff - you can recognise behaviours, maybe work on them, I don't know." I shuffled closer and put an arm around her shoulders. Gentle squeeze. "I forgive you." And when she opened her mouth to rebuke it, "Ah ah ah, no. I forgive you. End of debate."
"S'not the end of debate," she said. But she leant into my hug.
I wondered how we would go about feeding her good wolf. Healing people had turned into a burden, a chore, an expectation of her. So… that was honestly going to take way too much effort to turn into a good thing, in her eyes, and would likely fail quickly. "We need to find you something fun to do. Something that's not good, not evil, just… fun."
"Are you hitting on me again?" She drew away a little and scowled.
"Actually, I was thinking of paintball." I shrugged. I really was!
"... that involves running around."
"It also involves shooting people for fun." I grinned, jostling her a little. "Come on, you can't deny you'd love to look down the scope, pull the trigger, and hear someone swear bloody murder while jumping around because you shot them in the ass."
"Yes, but that sounds like I'm enjoying hurting people." But she had a small smile on her face, mostly hidden by hair.
"Replace the person at the end of the scope with me and I'm sure you'd feel fine about it."
"Hmph." Her lips twitched. "But then you'd complain about me bruising your ass and never give anyone context."
"Fuck no, I'd be like 'hey guys I got to go paintball shooting with superheroes and got my ass kicked so badly!' and then you'd smack me upside the head and tell me I was an easy target or something."
"You would not be an easy target. You're too… buff and probably good at running around." Somehow, she made that sound like an insult. "Also, I'd just make you taste broccoli for the rest of the day."
"You are such a cruel, cruel mistress, Amy." I giggled, leaning my head on hers. "I'm too tall to hide behind things. Maybe you'd find a sniper's nest or something. Grow one out of a tree and just lie there, shooting whichever tall, dashing, strangely buff girl strays through your line of sight."
"And then Victoria provides you air support and my sniping ass ends up bruised." She blinked. "Ugh, that came out like something you'd say."
"Oh my god." I laughed, because that was so true. "Am I infectious?"
"Probably." Her sneer froze mid-motion and then collapsed into something guilt-stricken. "Fuck, sorry - you're trying to help me and I'm - fuck."
"Hey. It's okay." I patted her head. "You're like a briar patch, or - whatever those things are called. Lots of sweet berries for the taking, but you've got a ton of thorns in there. So I understand I'm gonna get pricked occasionally. Something something package deal?"
"That's not what I -" she made a grumbling noise and looked away. "It was mean because it was. About you and Abby and. Ugh. I suck."
I frowned. "What would - oh." The implications of - Abby being a serial monogamist. Lots of partners. Infectious. "Oh. Yeah, sorry, Amy, but that -" I winced. "I get how awkward it is with - exes and their new partners and stuff but -"
Amy tilted her head. "Exes? What?"
I blinked. "... oh my god I'm such an idiot." I buried my face in my hands. "I thought - when you warned me about - about that - that you were speaking from experience or something and you two used to date and aaaaaagh!"
"Taylor - I haven't ever really dated anyone, why would you think - that's why you were so weird about Abby and me, you - you are such a fucking idiot, I swear to Jesus."
"I knowwww." I stuffed my face in a pillow and quietly shrieked. "God, it's like I have five braincells and none of them are in my head."
Amy snorted. "Technically accurate."
I just had a terrible thought. Fish is brainfood. What does that make fish taco? That's a euphemism, right?
"I don't know how, but you're about to make some kind of terrible innuendo. This is your one warning before broccoli-taste for the next week. Don't."
I took a deep breath. Bit my lip. Tried to hold it in.
"Taylor…" she gave me a very stern look.
"I'm trying!" I squeaked, before collapsing into giggles against her. "It was so bad, too."
"All your weird innuendos are bad." She huffed. "At least they're normal sexually though."
I blinked. "There's… not-normal sexual innuendos?"
"I mean - " Amy waved a hand. "You know what I mean. You're an oversexed maniac, but at least that excess is within the normal bounds of sexual expression. As opposed to my stupid, perverted, lunatic mind."
"Come on, Amy, you're not that bad. And anyways, how dare you call yourself stupid while sitting next to me." I stuck my tongue out. "People might start to talk if they see us like this, Amy, they might begin to think you're even… gasp, warming up to me."
"No. Victoria's already bothering me - " Amy clenched her jaw shut. "And I am that bad. I'm fairly sure no-one but a lunatic finds the idea of making a partner into a sleeping bag hot."
"... I mean, there's an entire forum I know of that revolves around transformation fetishes, so it's not like you're alone in that." I shrugged, leaning on the armrest. "As long as we recognise it's fantasy and stick to safe, sane, and consensual for real life stuff… go wild?"
"... the people on it are probably all evil too. And I know me, I won't be satisfied with just stuff in my head." She pulled her knees up. "Can you take your mind off sex for a second and can we talk about literally anything else?"
"Right." Why… why was I so focused on that lately? It felt good and fun and I wanted more good and fun? Maybe I was going through hyper-compressed puberty on the other end of the connection? Who knew. "Well, I uh." … "This is harder than I thought."
"Goddamnit, Taylor." Amy's head slumped further into her knees.
"Sorry." I winced. I wanted to ask so many things, like - what if she was confusing libido for evil? Would that mean she was just incredibly sexually repressed? I could offer to help her but then I think she might not just stop at broccoli taste for a week. "Uhhhh… I'm trying. But my mind's sorta stuck on wondering - ooh, that's an idea. Spa days are a thing, right? Hot soak in a pool, massage…"
"I hate spa days." But she lifted her face up from her knees a little. "If you want spa days, Victoria's the one you should talk to."
"I'm trying to think of ways to help you de-stress that don't involve ix-say or whatever piglatin for sex is." I smushed my face up against my hand. "What is it you don't like about spa days? Granted, I've never had one, so I only have my imagination on what the massages are like, but a hot soak sounds good for anyone."
"A hot soak by myself. With other people around? With Victoria there and having her see how… awful and ugly I look?" Amy raised one shoulder in a half shrug. "And I just - everything takes ages and there's nothing to do."
Ah. So she was suffering from overworking, too much stress, and restlessness. Making relaxing pretty fucking hard because any time spent not doing was bad. But time spent doing was adding stress. Vicious cycle, one I didn't really know how to break.
"You're not ugly, Amy. I mean. Mentally it's like - not great. But you really are cute."
"Taylor, if it has breasts, you find it hot. You are not the greatest judge of attractiveness."
"Still thought you were cute before I realised I was gay." I countered. "Though, granted, that was rationalized as more of a 'I wish I looked like her' rather than 'I wish I could hold her' at the time." I held up a hand and started listing off on my fingers. "Your hair is like - soft warm colour, super curly and cute -"
"My hair is a pain in the ass to take care of, it's always getting tangled and it's dry and thin." Amy rolled her eyes. "Your hair is nice. Softer curls which probably get tangled less and you can actually put it in a plait or something without spending three hours with conditioner and hair straightener."
"Eh, back when I had a lot of it, I did spend ages taking care of it. It was the only part of me I considered beautiful, or, hell, even feminine. I treasured it. But then… stuff happened, as much as I liked my hair, I was always hiding in my hoodie anyways, so… now I just use whatever. If it was still long, it'd be a nest of knots and stuff with my current routine." I sighed. I really did miss it. My neck felt so cold these days. "Anyways - there's also your freckles. And your nose is cute too."
"So my face isn't completely hideous. My body's still gross." Amy bit her lip. "... I wish sometimes my powers didn't work on other things but worked on me."
I leaned forward to bring an arm around her again. "What would you do? I mean - I disagree with your body being gross, and not just because I'm apparently a borderline nymphomaniac lesbian, but you're probably not interested in hearing me wax poetic about it."
"Taller. Stronger. Better skin." She paused. "... some other things. I'd probably change my hair a lot. Sharper cheekbones. Not necessarily bigger, but better shaped…" She gestured vaguely at her torso.
I raised an eyebrow. "I mean I was already green with breast-envy but you're taking it to a whole new level." But I grinned. "Maybe… I don't know. I noticed Mom did some surgery on herself, and - still looks relatively fine. And she kinda did me too."
"She's not. The surgery on her and you is - different." She waved a hand. "Hers was a total hackjob, installed in a moment of desperation, she had it fixed up by the next time I saw her but when we were at your house she had about a week before her arm would've fallen off. Yours is smaller stuff, probably to do with preventing implant rejection, or to do with the implant. Cosmetic stuff - no."
"Huh. Even though I don't need glasses anymore?"
Amy looked up and frowned, then touched my cheek. "Okay. Now that I'm paying attention, your genetics - you should have a pretty heavy prescription. No it's - not your eyes it's - " She cut herself off.
"Yeah, she did something. Way back in the beginning, I think." I shrugged. "I'm just… wondering now. If it's possible to use your power through one of the Beasties - like, you pilot one, and then make changes to yourself."
"... it's the signal input she… something about you having your glasses - " She frowned. "Oh. Oh. Of course."
"Please share your newfound wisdom with me, my five brain cells are all chained up in the dungeon."
"I can't tell you some of it. But the glasses were - unable to be kept. So she altered the signal input from your optic nerve into the implant. Corrected it automatically, at the neural level." Amy frowned, fingers brushing feather-light against my cheek. It felt… nice. And given how her voice was unusually soft right now - "Yes, in the implant, not in the brain itself, it has to be. Because otherwise as your eyesight changed over time she'd need to adjust the changes, but somehow the implant analyses it on the fly… it's gorgeous technology."
I wasn't going to mention how sensual this moment was and ruin it. I was just going to smile softly and enjoy it. "I think Mom might be able to help you with… stuff. Especially if powers work through Beasties - I was looking on PHO and apparently all Tinkers kinda have a sub Trump rating? Other capes can inspire them or they can make stuff based on other capes so - if she made something boosted with inspiration from your power, and you piloted it - you might be able to like… sculpt your body how you want it." I paused. "... or just straight up sculpt a body and get her to do a brain transplant. Wouldn't be the first time she's done it, after all."
Amy shook her head. "My power's too dangerous."
"No, Amy." I stroked her hair. "Your power has the potential to be dangerous. The fact of the matter is -"
She shook her head again. "It is dangerous. I wouldn't… there was a minor powercopying villain who came through town once, and I had to be under twenty-four hour guard in case he took my power because then he'd be an S-class threat."
I puffed my cheeks out. "Okay, when you put it that way… yep, it is fucking terrifying. But you're better than that, and have proven it time and time again to everyone. Look, to be frank, I'm worried that if you stay overstressed too long, you'll snap and maybe… do some of those things that are evil. But I'd rather work with you to help, because honestly, if anyone deserves some good karma, it's you. You've saved, what, dozens of people a day, if not each hour sometimes?"
"Mnuh." Amy flopped her head onto my shoulder again. "You're way too optimistic about me."
"Well one of us has to be." I snorted. "And since you aren't, I'm picking up the slack. C'mon. There's gotta be something to cheer you up… comfort food? Ice cream? Noodles? I could check behind the bread bin and see if there's a new block of chocolate."
Amy was silent for a long time. Just sitting there with her knees pulled up to her chest and staring off into the middle-distance of the wall. Her voice was so small and quiet that I almost missed it when she said, "Prove it."
"Hm?" I blinked, looking back at her. She was - maybe blushing, but her jaw was clenched.
"I said, prove it." She turned to face me a little, but her eyes stayed away. "Prove what you said about - about my body."
"Prove that I find your body cute and beautiful?" I wrapped my arm around her again and pulled her close. Gently stroking her arm. "Mmm… if you want me to, I certainly could. Would you prefer here and now, or should we go somewhere with a bit more privacy first?" I asked, teasing only slightly.
"Privacy. I don't - " Her head twitched into a shake. "I don't think I want Victoria seeing."
"Okay." Was I… really going to do this? Despite my status of probably broken up with Abby? Could I really afford to back out? Me and my stupid big mouth and libido… had to go for broke. Had to try at least get Amy to destress, or - or make her believe what I'm trying to get across. And of course, there was the selfish part of me that said 'don't waste this chance!' like a lunatic. "My room? Yours? I think the bathroom with the massive tub is free…"
She twitched again. "I don't know. It was a stupid idea, forget it - "
I should have taken the out. I really should have taken the opportunity to just turn this into an awkward situation. Instead -
"Nnnope, I'm gonna make you feel good!" I proclaimed, picking her up - even curled up it was surprisingly easy to hold her - and made my way upstairs with her.
"I could've - I almost - put me down - !"
"In a moment~" I giggled. Caution to the wind. Only thought in my mind now was following through on my promise. She needed something to help her, and - this would hopefully do something good for her. The bathroom was free, thank goodness - I nudged the door shut behind me with my foot and let her down before I turned the lock. "So - how well do you know the whole safewords deal?" Be confident, Taylor.
"... you say it when you want sex stuff to stop happening? It's mostly associated with." She curled up more. "People like me who are fucked up about sex and won't stop otherwise."
"Hey." I crouched down and squeezed her shoulder. "It might be most associated with that, but when has the media portrayed any associations accurately? Safewords are good to have no matter how hard or soft play is. It lets you say no, protest, without actually causing it to stop. Which can play into stuff like rape fetishes, or tickle fights where you're squealing for them to stop but you don't actually want it to, or even occasionally wanting to verbally deny you're enjoying something that you like because you might find it shameful."
"Mnuh," said Amy, sounding unconvinced.
"So I'm going to have my way with you, proving how beautiful I think your body is. If you don't want me to stop, but want me to do something else - like, say, I'm edging towards your butt and you don't want your butt played with, use 'Sapphire', okay? And 'Pineapple' if you want me to just back off completely."
"W-what if I can't. Stop myself doing things to you."
I shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie, that is a worry, but." I hugged her close as I dared. "As much as I like this body and it has sentimental value, ultimately, it could be dropped in a furnace. While it would suck, and I wouldn't like it, it wouldn't be the end of the world, or even my life. If it wasn't for that, I would probably be freaking out a bit more. But I trust you, so I'd go ahead anyway." Do I trust her, or am I just that much of a useless horny lesbian?
She hunched even further down. At this point I had to wonder if she did yoga to be that flexible. "A-are you sure?"
"If the worst happens, and you ignore me saying the safewords, I'll ditch this body, wait half an hour, and check back to see if you've made me human again." I smiled softly. "Okay?"
"... okay." Her eye peered up at me from next to her knee, and, slowly, she reached out and touched my temple for a second, then withdrew her hand. "Um. Sorry, no, I had a thought but it's probably - creepy and weird and difficult - "
"Oh, Amy." I sighed, smiling as I pulled her hand back to my temple. "I'm here to prove it. I'm willing to let you experiment. Ultimately, I'm hoping to relieve some stress and tension. So if I haven't convinced you I'm not gonna judge you for whatever weird, creepy, difficult, or whatever thing you're thinking of, then clearly I've messed up somewhere." A kiss to her hand. "Communication. If you want something, all you have to do is ask."
"... I was going to change your hair colour but. I'd need to. Push all the dead hair out so. Um. All your hair is going to fall out and grow back in under a minute and I can. Put it back afterwards - "
I smiled and nodded. "Should I make a quick trip to the kitchen and guzzle a carton or two of milk so you have stuff to work with?" Maybe it was selfish of me to try and take advantage of the fact that I was struggling to keep my weight up enough to begin with, but...
"It. Might be good. I don't - want to put you to any trouble…"
"It's not a trouble." I said softly, leaning forward, fingertip under her chin, drawing out a long kiss to her lips - still so soft - before pulling back. "Your power gives you some really unique ways to have fun in the bedroom." I paused, and shrugged. "Or bathroom, as it may be. I'm more than willing to accommodate it."
She looked kind of dazed. "Lips are. Nice. Thought I might get. Distracted by the data but I could feel the whole thing and your vermillion borders stretching and your tubercules pressed to mine - " She suddenly coloured brilliant red. "Sorry that was probably unfathomably weird."
"It was adorable, and I promise you are supremely cute when you talk about the things that interest you." I grinned. "One more for the road, mm?"
She nodded, then hesitated. "There's um. A tin of protein powder in the cupboard, near the bread bin. Bring it and a jug with the milk and -"
I cut her off with a smooch. Yum. Her lips tasted like - warmth. And a bit of salt. She made a desperate, needy noise into my mouth and her fingers clawed at my side.
When we broke apart, there was a little bridge of saliva connecting us. "I'll be back in just a moment. And then we can really start to play~" I promised.
-.-.-
Next chapter will be on Questionable Questing!
- Location
- Madison, AL
I am bveyr drunk, nand I chavent read half the book, kieep going.
SolarFlare
(Verified Cape)
- Location
- Brockton Bay, USA
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The LGBT society needs to throw an intervention for Tay and her useless lesbianism.
Ganurath
Literal Enthusiast
- Location
- A Valid Location
- Pronouns
- He/Him
She and her lesbianism are too busy throwing an intervention for Amy to attend.
The one after that will be back here, right? XD And the only gap will be the sex scene?
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
yep. though, instead of being an excuse for smut like the other omake chapters on QQ, this one will have more IC stuff, like taylor doubting herself, amy thinking she's evil and constantly apologising instead of wholeheartedly embracing the Mistress Amy persona, etc. A summary will be posted with the next chapter here
but, on the chance people still want to read it but not join/use questionable questing, a google doc will be uploaded to my discord server in the appropriate channel
but, on the chance people still want to read it but not join/use questionable questing, a google doc will be uploaded to my discord server in the appropriate channel
Taliserian
(Unverified Verifiable)
- Location
- ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Can we wait until AFTER the QQ chapter please? I, um... yeah. "Relevant to my interests".
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
alternatively, just - the entire club breaks into the dallon household, barges into the bathroom, and tells them to stop being useless
Amy: How - what - why -
Taylor: Ahhhhhh!
Crystal: You know, for superheroes, you don't leave the doors locked very often.
Amy: Traitorous cousin!
Oops
- Pronouns
- He/his
Let's seeeeeee, Tay's in Love, her life was changed after a close encounter with Death, and now she's feeling like a Robot. This is the truest of crossovers with Love Death + Robots!
- Location
- Massachussetts
Bet got a movie version? If it weren't for the whole looming-apocalypse-and-inevitable-breakdown-of-society thing, I'd be kinda jealous.
This thing with Amy is not a development I saw coming, and (presumably) neither did Abby, but in terms of story direction it could work. Beyond the obvious relationship and mental health impacts, I'm curious if whatever bodily modifications (and reversions) occur will have an effect on Taylor's implant and the communication between her bodies. Tinker tech doesn't always respond as expected to being manipulated.
- Location
- Earth, Sol System, Virgo Supercluster, Earth-1218
"I mean, that would provide more mass for you to play with..."
...
"God damn it Taylor, get your mind out of the gutter!"
"But it's so warm and squishy here!"
Also: Does Taylor need to eat 5 dozen eggs each day to maintain that physique?