Do remember that we, as outside viewers are both inherently biased against the fire nation and have knowledge that the characters do not. 99% of fire nation nobles would in fact leave their friends to die if it was their duty: Sozin himself absolutely believed that it was necessary for the avatar to die to protect the nation, and showed genuine remorse about it- but not regret, because to him his duty outweighed personal attachments (like how all past avatars counselled aang to kill Ozai). To the fire nation such rhetoric is not propaganda, but a fundamental fact of life. While a modern person may view such an act as treachery, a fire nation royal is not just capable, but expected to make similar decisions for the greater good. Just because the current Fire Lord is a lying treacherous snake does not mean we can paint all of them with the same brush.
To wit- Sozin showed up at first to SAVE roku, only leaving when he realised the threat he posed to his own plans, and even then he agonised about it afterwards, before vowing to conquer the world rather than rendering roku's 'sacrifice' meaningless. He also refused to go after Roku's family despite the risk of vengeful descendants. I'm not saying that the guy was a saint (the air nomad genocide was particularly cruel) but he had his own code of ethics and he stuck to it till the end. Duty above all.
I had an issue with chapter 4, cause Ursa characterization was inconsistent. I'm pretty sure we can blame the comics for this, but you are writing the story so I think you have to somehow fix this. If you believe my complaints are legitimate that is.
On one hand Ursa wants to be a good mother and have a relationship with her daughter. On the other hand she wrote a letter saying were a bastard just to get back at Ozai. That's just like so absurdly dumb on a level that cracks my suspension of disbelief. Now i know this is how she is characterized in canon but it just doesn't make much sense.
On one hand Ursa wants to be a good mother and have a relationship with her daughter. On the other hand she wrote a letter saying were a bastard just to get back at Ozai. That's just like so absurdly dumb on a level that cracks my suspension of disbelief. Now i know this is how she is characterized in canon but it just doesn't make much sense.
My own Mother has been emotionally abusive and manipulative like this to my sister.
It happens with narcissistic parents.
Not to this degree, but...
One day she could be crying over how much she loved my sister and two days after calling her a no good bitch for being disrespectful, to the next week blaming herself for whatever she portrayed negatively in my sister and denying she cursed at her at all.
It's a seasaw of emotional baggage that inherently is full of cognitive dissonance, and is very very real.
My own Mother has been emotional abusive and manipulative like this to my sister.
It happens with narcissistic parents.
Not to this degree, but...
One day she could be crying over how much she loved my sister and two days after calling her a no good bitch for being disrespectful, to the next week blaming herself for whatever she portrayed negatively in my sister and denying she cursed at her at all.
It's a seasaw of emotional baggage that inherently is full of cognitive dissonance, and is very very real.
Yea, but is Ursa suppose to be narcissistic? That isn't really the impression I got. I got the impression she was trying to be a good parent but not doing a very good job of it. That is until you factor in the letter, then it's just like, wtf is wrong with you?
I had an issue with chapter 4, cause Ursa characterization was inconsistent. I'm pretty sure we can blame the comics for this, but you are writing the story so I think you have to somehow fix this. If you believe my complaints are legitimate that is.
On one hand Ursa wants to be a good mother and have a relationship with her daughter. On the other hand she wrote a letter saying were a bastard just to get back at Ozai. That's just like so absurdly dumb on a level that cracks my suspension of disbelief. Now i know this is how she is characterized in canon but it just doesn't make much sense.
Worth noting that the two events are separated by several years and significant relationship and character developments. Her being frustrated and short-sighted and only later realizing she fucked up, then spending the next several years regretting it, does not strike me as implausible.
I'd also advise you to disregard the comics and go solely by what's said in-story.
Yea, but is Ursa suppose to be narcissistic? That isn't really the impression I got. I got the impression she was trying to be a good parent but not doing a very good job of it. That is until you factor in the letter, then it's just like, wtf is wrong with you?
Not fully. My mom isn't so narcissistic as to see me and my sister as an extension of herself or anything like that, but she does have narcissistic tendencies and Ursa has shown some herself.
First, she's in an abusive relationship with Ozai. There were maybe some moments of actual affection in the past, but for the most part they hate each other in the present.
They often fight over the children considering which of them are theirs. Zuko is Ursa's son. Azula is Ozai's daughter. Thinking like that led to this mess with Akane kind of pin-balling between the two parents now and then.
Every time she earns one parent's favor, she earns the other's aversion and distaste just due to the relation to the toxic relationship.
I can definitely see Ursa doing this to "Ozai's Akane" and then turning around and loving her daughter.
People when emotional can be very logically inconsistent. It's sad, but human.
This is the best Avatar story I've read with an OC, and it hits a very emotional point for me very well.
Here's the results of last night's session! I hope it's okay!
-----
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace
It turns out regicide attempts are almost anticlimactic when you're not directly involved.
The guards rush you to a bunker under the palace, answering your questions with curt 'We don't know yet's and practically ignoring you besides. You spend the night sitting in a rather small metal conference room, meditating while Zuko and Azula pace and bicker. Within ten minutes, you're informed that Father is alright and the would-be assassin is dead. You're all told to stay here, out of the way, while he directs the effort to root out and purge whatever other conspirators aided her.
When you question the guard further, you learn that the poisoner was a servant girl. The guard doesn't know her name, but you don't need him to tell you.
It was her.
You stay sealed in that room all day as details trickle in. The assassination was a shoddy attempt at a poisoning. Belladonna in tea. The servant girl attempted to stab him after he detected the taste, but didn't even manage to wound him. He killed her on the spot. But servants don't become treasonous spontaneously; the entire staff is being examined to find the roots of this disloyalty. You're not told what the process involves, or how Father's doing.
You're not sure they'll find the root of Chae's disloyalty anywhere among the staff.
It takes Zuko almost an hour to ask the obvious question, and once he does it seems like a dam breaks. He repeats it, over and over, every time a new message from Father arrives. The guards never answer.
When you emerge from the bunker that evening, the palace feels emptier. There are far fewer servants in the halls.
And Mother is still nowhere to be found.
* * * * * 96 AC (14 years old)
He never says a word about her.
There are rumors in the court. The most common is that Lady Ursa was also poisoned in the assassination attempt on your father, and she is no longer making public appearances until she recovers. The second most common is that Lady Ursa is not ill, but is using an excuse to retire from politics because she never had much of a taste for it. There are some who whisper that Fire Lord Ozai actually just quietly divorced Lady Ursa, and she's now retired to a house on Ember Island. And you believe there are even some who whisper that Fire Lord Ozai actually had Lady Ursa killed outright for displeasing him somehow.
You suppose that if Mother's disappearance is buried under enough layers of rumors and half-truths, no one will entertain the notion that the Fire Lord's own wife may have been involved in the most recent attempt on his life. Even you aren't sure if it's a reasonable suspicion. Mother was a skilled herbalist, skilled enough that the Royal Physician - the former Royal Physician - respected her skills. If she wanted to poison Father, she likely could have done a better job of it.
But it makes no difference now. Father says nothing about her. There is no funeral for her, there is no bounty placed on her, there is no notice put out that she has been kidnapped. Nothing. She's gone.
You aren't sure how to feel. You aren't sure if you should be feeling something. She's just gone. It doesn't seem very real, like she could turn up again as easily as she left.
You still feel almost like you should feel something. Zuko certainly does. He seems depressed. Listless. Azula just throws herself into her training.
You...
...just try to be there for your siblings. Both of them. Like Mother never did. (23)
...focus on your training. Firebending is simple, and it's important, and you're perfect at it. You don't need any distractions. (13)
...double your efforts in your studies. You're the Crown Princess. Nothing else matters. You need to be perfect. (12)
...start trying to plan a trip out of the capital. Nothing is under control here. It's full of constant distractions. You need experience and you need out. (4)
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Gardens
Zuko sits by Mother's favorite little pond in the gardens often. Sometimes it seems like it's all he does in his free time. You don't know why; he doesn't even bring a book, or meditate. When you join him, he usually doesn't say much.
"When is she going to come back?" Zuko asks quietly.
When he does speak, he usually doesn't ask questions that you can answer.
Tell him you're not sure if she will come back. (24)
Probably never. (11)
Tell him you don't know. (3)
What are you supposed to say? The best guess you have is probably that Father had her killed for being implicated somehow in Chae's assassination attempt. Even if Mother didn't plan anything, Chae might have stolen the belladonna from her. You're not sure where else she would have got it from.
Mother is probably dead. Or a fugitive. You'll probably never see her again. Or speak to her.
"I don't know if she will come back, Zuko," you say quietly, watching the turtleducks.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see him ball his hands into fists.
"Of course you would say that," Zuko accuses. His voice already sounds watery. "You don't care. You and Azula never even talk about her. Mom is gone and nobody even cares."
What are you supposed to say? You guess you don't care, compared to him. How would you know if you did care?
Zuko hits the ground with his fist. "Say something!" he demands.
Tell him you care about him and Azula, and taking care of both of them is what matters to you now. (28)
+Elaborate on why things were the way they were between yourself and Ursa. (21)
Tell him you don't know how to feel. (2)
Tell him you do care, and hope Mother returns soon. (2)
Tell him you're sorry that he lost his mother, and you wish she was at least there for his sake. (1)
"I care about you and Azula, Zuko," you say quietly. "That's what matters to me."
"No, you don't care!" Zuko argues. "You don't care about Mom, or me, you just care about Azula and firebending and war meetings and dresses! You don't care! You never liked Mom and you're glad she's gone!"
He's practically yelling by the time he finishes. You stay still, let him vent.
Is he even wrong?
"What's wrong with you?" Zuko demands. He's crying. Just like Mom. "Why don't you care?"
You consider for a moment.
"Mother and I," you finally murmur, "have a complicated relationship."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zuko demands.
"We were distant for some time," you say quietly. "Mother always seemed to have a reason why she could only spend time with you."
"What are you talking about?" Zuko says defensively. "She spent time with you too. And now she's gone and you're already trying to blame her for -"
"I'm not blaming anyone," you say. "I'm only trying to answer your question."
"It's not Mom's fault you don't care about her," Zuko snaps.
He stands up, swiping angrily at his eyes.
"Zuko -" you say -
"Just leave me alone!" he bites out.
Zuko storms off, and for a moment you think of going after him. You could follow him, stop him, make him listen.
It didn't work when Mother tried that with you.
You stay in the garden and try to meditate.
* * * * * 96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace War Room
Weeks come and go, and the end of the year fast approaches. You feel like you're trapped in some sort of haze. Nothing you do is working right. You still can't get through to Zuko. Azula still doesn't talk much. Your firebending is sloppy and pathetic and your knowledge of history and strategy are woefully incomplete. You can feel eyes on you constantly, the entire court - and your entire family - watching you slip constantly farther and farther from perfection. You can feel it. You feel like you're slipping.
"We're experiencing greater unrest in the colonies," War Minister Qin is saying. "It seems dissident groups are spreading rumors about the new policies in the labor camps. Governor Lee believes the unrest could reach a dangerous level. Even Yu Dao is experiencing whispers of dissent."
"Governor Lee can handle unrest on his own," High General Bujing says dismissively. "He has enough soldiers for it. Why does he think he can bother us with this?"
You don't know why you're listening to this, either.
"The Governor reports that there are questions circulating among his subordinates about the new policies," War Minister Qin says. "They're wondering if the new policies may be causing more resistance than they're discouraging."
The fire between you and Father and the rest of the war council grows slightly. When you glance to your left, you can see the tightness in Father's expression. Anger.
It seems like he's always just barely holding back fury these days.
"The new policies will continue," Father snaps. "Every member of the Earth Kingdom is a threat to our nation and the war effort. Those who cannot be put to use working to support the war effort are useless to us and potentially useful to the enemy. They will be eliminated. Inform the Governor that if he cannot suppress dissent among his citizens and his subordinates, he will be replaced by someone who can."
"Of course, your Highness," War Minister Qin says smoothly. "I'll ensure he does not fail you again."
You suppose this is all the logical extension of Father's forced labor policies. Those who cannot work are only burdens as prisoners, and so they're no longer taken. They're killed rather than captured, or executed if they're already in camps. The executions are rare; most prisoners in the labor camps pass away before becoming old or disabled. But apparently it's causing some measure of dissent, even among loyal colonial citizens.
You...
Think this is even more misguided than the forced labor policy was in the first place. Father is quickly ensuring that the people of the Earth Kingdom will never accept their place under the Fire Nation's rule. (41)
Think that this goes against the purpose of the war. You cannot reeducate or uplift savages who are *dead*. (28)
Understand that Father is simply attempting to be logical and calculating about his approach to the conquered. Father never allows threats to persist when he sees them. (4)
Simply feel apathetic towards Father's actions in the course of the war. This is not your decision to make yet. (3)
You thought the forced labor policy was misguided to begin with, but this is even worse. The people of the Earth Kingdom have been propagandized for a century to make them believe that wallowing in filth is preferable to allowing progress to take place, and now Father is practically going out of his way to give them an actual reason to hate the Fire Nation. It's - misguided is a gentle way to put it. These executions - particularly of the elders and the disabled - are the sort of actions that can create resentment for centuries.
Of course you can't say any of this out loud. So what difference does it make?
"Lastly, we have excellent news from the front," War Minister Qin says, drawing your attention back to the meeting. He directs a triumphant smirk around the room, preening. "We've received word of the results of our 'tank' field tests. Resounding successes, across the board. The earthbenders are practically helpless against our new weapon."
The room fills with interested murmurs as the generals begin passing around schematics and reports. You hold still and wait; you'll look over the reports once they reach Father. 'Tanks' are a new invention the War Minister's office has provided to the military; effectively, they're metal land-ships that allow firebending soldiers to move across a battlefield and attack with impunity. You've seen some of the schematics before. They're certainly interesting devices. A reminder of the kind of ingenuity and innovation that the Fire Nation will be able to share with the world once the war is settled.
"Very good," Father says, satisfied. "If they have been as successful as you say, you will have your factories for further production. And you are cleared to begin development of the next stage."
The next stage - the drill. War Minister Qin raised the idea a month ago; a scaled-up version of the tank, designed to pierce through the wall of Ba Sing Se. Ambitious. But if it works, it could eliminate the need for the Comet's power to end the war at all.
After the meeting ends, you...
Excuse yourself as soon as it would be polite to do so, and focus on your own training. (37)
Speak with War Minister Qin about his office's technological developments; you have a scholarly and practical interest in such inventions. (21)
Socialize with the generals and ministers, as usual. Having their respect is always at the top of your list of priorities as Crown Princess. (7)
* * * * * 97 AC (15 years old)
Royal Palace Training Grounds
The new year and your birthday come and go. You make your customary public appearances, performing your duty as perfectly as you possibly can. And then you return to your training, as has been your habit for weeks. You still do your best to be there for Azula and Zuko - you aren't going to just give up on them, you're not Mother - but you have to train. You need to be better. You can't keep constantly making excuses for your own imperfections.
But progress is slow. Frustrating. Lo and Li are proving themselves to be useless sycophants, so unwilling to criticize you that they rarely ever offer any advice on how to improve your forms. And there's little left in the way of new forms for you to learn. You just need to refine them - and you need to refine them beyond what Lo and Li can teach you.
You still meditate often. It helps. You feel like you desperately need to re-center yourself. But aside from helping you feel better, you're not sure how best to use your meditation. You...
Try to think through your recent emotions and the changes in your life. (30)
Focus on the physical flow of energy through your body and the places it's centered on, like you were before. (21)
Fire is the element of will. You've always kept your will strong and clear by staying detached, above everything, clear-headed. But you've been letting yourself fail in that, lately. You let Mother get under your skin constantly. You've been slipping ever since she disappeared. It's unacceptable. You need to get control of yourself again.
How, though? What's actually wrong? Your will is as strong as ever, isn't it? You've just had one mess thrown at you after another, one change after another. It's just distracting. It's been throwing you off.
You need to get better at maintaining your self-control and detachment in the face of change. You need to become more adaptable. You're the Crown Princess; it's your duty to be able to handle anything that faces you or your country.
But telling yourself that over and over isn't going to actually make it happen. So what do you do? When your detachment is failing you, and you're tugged in a dozen different directions by the changes around you, how do you stay afloat?
Concentrate on your ambition to rule. One day, you will bring the nations together and usher the golden age. Right now the nations are at war and your father is an inefficient leader. The world needs a strong leader and that's where you come in. Mastering your inner fire is a necessity to gain your people's respect. Focus on that and all else will come together. (38)
You have more than just detachment; you have a solid rooting, things and goals you care about. You have your sister, and your brother, and your birthright. These things can keep you rooted when you're being buffeted on every side. (34)
Sometimes it's a waste of energy to try to detach yourself from everything that pulls at you. Try to make peace with it. Try to find satisfaction in whatever good things you can, and try to let go of your worries about past failures. (18)
You need to cut distractions out of your life and your mind. Try to cut away useless emotions and focus on the now, on whatever task you have at hand. (6)
You are still the Crown Princess. You have the divine right to rule and you always will. And that should also extend into your own life. As long as you focus on that, on strengthening your inner flame, nothing can hold you down.
That's what Father would say.
You pour your effort into that, into coaxing your inner flame to grow stronger. You cultivate your anger at the state of the world and envision all the things you'll do once you rule it. You try to attune yourself to your ancestors, to call upon their rage as you've been taught.
You wonder how your ancestor Azulon feels about that.
Regardless, you feel like you're making some slow progress at honing your firebending. There's always more to learn and more ways to refine your skills if you try hard enough. The forms are just starting points; knowing how to perform them adequately doesn't mean you've learned all there is to learn. You focus on getting faster, making your blasts bigger, improving your stamina. And you think you make some gains.
It still feels frustrating. The palace feels like a shadow's been cast over it. Everyone seems quieter, more sluggish, more listless. You can understand it from the servants; half of the staff is new, now, and all of them have to work harder. There are fewer of them. But Azula and Zuko still seem quieter. And your friends hardly help. Mitsuko has been able to visit less often recently, and Mai has always been rather dour. But even Ty Lee seems depressed lately. It's absurd.
But none of that matters to you. It doesn't affect you. You are the Crown Princess, and you are renewing your commitment to being perfect in your role. Your will is your fire and it blazes as brightly as ever.
And Azula still hasn't managed to beat you in a spar.
"Thank you for aiding me in my training, little sister," you tell Azula, bowing. She scowls, brushing herself off.
"Yes, you're welcome," she snaps irritably. "Though I'm not even sure what the point of this is anymore. We both know you could use lightning in a real fight. Even if I beat you like this, it doesn't mean anything."
Tell her that you enjoy competing with her and sparring with her nonetheless. (35)
+"You shouldn't rely on 1 trick to win you every fight. If i came accross a foe who countered lightning, I'd look rather foolish if everything else was subpar" (29)
Tell her that not every fight ends with someone's death. (19)
Tell her you aren't sparring to practice fighting each other. You're practicing so that others won't be able to beat either of you. (2)
"I do still need to develop my skills aside from lightning, Azula," you answer. "If I were to face an enemy too fast to give me a chance to create lightning, or needed to destroy something unaffected by lightning, it would not do for me to allow my other skills to atrophy." She grunts. "And besides," you continue. "I enjoy our spars and competition. You always drive me to greater heights."
"Yes, yes, I'm your muse," Azula says, waving her hand dismissively. She seems a little mollified, though. "We'll see how much higher you can go before I beat you."
You incline your head, smiling slightly. "I'm sure we will."
The two of you cool down from your training by jogging and then stretching. You talk idly about your firebending forms as you stretch, and -
Azula abruptly hisses in pain as she stretches up, one hand going towards her abdomen.
You freeze mid-sentence.
"I'm fine," Azula grunts, scowling. She returns to stretching. "Pulled a muscle. Stupid."
You can feel your heart pounding in your chest.
The servant girl - that night, she was injured, when she tried to stretch -
Take Azula aside and check her for injuries RIGHT NOW. (37)
+ Don't freak out. Try to stay calm (27)
Stop it. It's nothing. Azula is fine. You're imagining things. Don't pester her. (11)
"Azula " you say quietly, "Are you hurt?"
"No!" She scowls. "It's a pulled muscle, Akane. I'm fine."
She's hiding it from you. Of course she is. She can't seem weak. Not in front of Father. Not with him being like he is.
"Could I check, Azula?" you ask. Calmly. You're going to remain calm.
Azula scoffs at you. "Akane, I'm fine. There's nothing to check."
There is absolutely something to check and she doesn't want you to see it.
What did he do to her? Did he burn her? Did he hit her? Did he...?
"I'd like to see just to make sure," you say, stepping closer. "Where does it hurt?"
"I'm fine," Azula repeats, glaring at you. "Stop it. I'm fine."
She's lying. He did something. He did it. He did it.
"Azula, I'd like to check to make sure," you insist calmly. "Please let me see."
He burned her for not learning fast enough. Or he hit her for displeasing him. Or - or - if he touched her, if he had enough of servants and decided -
You'll kill him.
"No," Azula snaps. "I'm fine. What is your problem?"
"Azula, let me see," you tell her, voice steady and firm. "Please."
You'll kill him.
You'll murder him.
Did he think you wouldn't? Did he think he'd get away with this? You'll kill him. He touched Azula, you'll kill him.
"There's nothing to see!" Azula snaps. "I pulled a muscle! Why are you freaking out?"
Poison won't work and cornering him won't work like it did with Azulon, he'll be on guard against those. A training accident while you're working on lightning, that's how you'll do it. You'll have one free shot and that'll be all you need.
"I am not 'freaking out', Azula," you say calmly. "Please, just let me make sure you're not injured."
"I'm telling you I'm not," Azula says. "I can handle a stupid pulled muscle, Akane."
"I'm sure you can handle a pulled muscle, Azula," you say. "Please just let me check. I'm not 'freaking out.'"
Did he honestly think he would get away with this? You killed his father, why wouldn't you kill yours too?
"Whatever," Azula says. She starts to walk towards the exit. "I'm going to the library."
You gently catch her arm. "Azula, please let me see."
"Why do you need to check it?" she snaps. "It's just a pulled muscle!"
"Let me check, Azula!"
"Fine!"
Azula wrests her arm away from you and pulls up her shirt to show her stomach. She turns to show her back, too.
There's nothing there.
There aren't any marks on her skin.
No burns or bruises.
She's fine.
"I thought you were hurt," you mumble quietly.
"I told you, I just pulled a muscle in my side!" Azula spits out, lowering her shirt again. "What is wrong with you? You're acting just like Mom."
Oh.
Azula storms out of the room.
You thought she was hurt. You were mistaken.
Why did you...
Is there something wrong with you? Are you becoming paranoid?
You were ready to kill Father over an imagined slight. It runs in the family, doesn't it?
What's wrong with you?
There's something wrong with you. You were thinking just like Azulon. You need to stop this. You need to fix this. (39)
+...You need to see Mitsuko and calm down. (20)
Nothing's wrong with you. Stop overreacting to everything. You're *fine*, you're not insane, Azula's fine, everyone's fine. (16)
* * * * * 97 AC (15 years old)
Royal Palace: Crown Princess's Chambers
"What are you reading?" Mitsuko asks as she brushes your hair. "I don't recognize that book."
A Study of Illnesses of the Mind, by Cao Liu.
"Just light reading," you murmur.
Being with her is soothing. It helps you think. You need to calm down, take things rationally, and think.
You suspect that Azulon was insane at the end; maybe it was a temporary episode brought on by grief and rage, but maybe not. And you know insanity is hereditary. But this research says that insanity is just a disease like any other, it can be managed and cured. If someone has it at all. It would be overreacting to conclude that you have it, but if you did, there would be options. You could handle it.
It's just something to be aware of.
"Are you okay?" Mitsuko asks quietly.
"I'm fine," you say, turning the page. "Thank you for your concern."
The research says that women are especially susceptible to hysteria; it can be brought on by stress. Maybe that's why you panicked. There's a coup or an assassination attempt practically every year now, it's potentially true that you've been under considerable stress.
Especially since you committed one of those coups.
"I, um, I don't want to presume..."
"You never need to worry about presumption with me, Mitsuko," you murmur.
You feel her fingers run through your hair. It's soothing.
"You've seemed kind of depressed since, um... since Lady Ursa stopped making public appearances," Mitsuko says quietly.
No. You don't miss her. You're just worried that you're not being a good enough sister to Zuko and Azula now that Mother's gone. (27)
+ Hug the Mitsuko. You need the physical affection. Hug her tight. (36)
No. Mother has nothing to do with any of this. You're admittedly stressed, but you've washed your hands of her. (21)
No. You don't miss her. You're just still angry that she lied to you so many times, about so much, while making you think she wanted to finally fix things with you. (8)
"It's not that," you tell her. "I don't miss her. I just worry that I'm not doing enough for my siblings now that she's gone. I don't think my approach has been working."
Mitsuko is still, and doesn't answer.
"Mitsuko?" you ask, looking at her in the mirror.
"Sorry," she says immediately. She begins brushing your hair again.
"What is it?" you ask.
"Sorry," she says again. "I just... I didn't expect you to say that."
You frown. "My siblings mean a great deal to me, Mitsuko." Even Zuko.
"I know! I just -" She bites her lip. "You really don't miss your mom?" she asks quietly. "Not at all?"
She seems almost shocked. You suppose you did say that, but... why should she be that shocked?
Tell her that no, you don't. You were never close and you were never going to be close. (22)
+ "She was a failure as a parent. Left me all to myself when I was younger and then told me lies when I tried to reach out." (23)
+ she wasn't really a mother to me ever since I was... eight? (11)
Tell her that you suppose you miss her a little, but you just have more important concerns. (14)
My relationship with mother has always been strained, her appearing in my life always came with much more ... drama, than I enjoyed. Her distance made me get over her long before she physically disappeared. (7)
Tell her that you do miss her, of course, as any daughter would, but you just don't dwell on such things. (2)
You consider for a moment.
"No," you answer. "I don't."
"Oh," Mitsuko says.
She keeps shooting glances at you in the mirror as she brushes your hair.
"We were never close," you explain. "And were not likely to be."
"Okay," Mitsuko says quietly.
She's quiet for a moment.
"I knew you weren't that close," she eventually mumbles. "I just thought... she's your mom."
Is she? Was she?
"She hadn't really been my mother since I was a child," you say. "She just tried to make me think she was."
Mitsuko nods quietly, and continues brushing your hair. You watch her as she does.
"She left me alone practically all my life," you add neutrally. "And tried to turn Father against me, because she was fighting with him. She lied constantly, every time we had an important talk. I don't think she ever told me the truth. She still expected me to love her, though."
Mitsuko nods quietly. Her arms wrap around your waist from behind. She presses against you, her chest snug against your back and her arms tight around you.
"What are you doing?" you ask.
"Hugging you," she murmurs.
You allow it.
"I gave her every chance to make amends," you say. If there's anyone you can tell about this, it's Mitsuko. "Constantly. I constantly gave her chances. Sometimes it seemed like she was actually trying. But there was always a catch. She was always lying about something. And then she'd get upset when she got caught. She was more concerned with making me think she loved me than she was with - whatever mothers are supposed to do."
Mitsuko nods, her arms tightening slightly. It's not uncomfortable.
"It sounds like she betrayed you," she says quietly.
"She did!" you answer. "Multiple times! And she hid it from me every time, and - she was very skilled at making me give her second chances. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for me to be so easily manipulated."
"She's your mom," Mitsuko mumbles. "I'd do anything to have a mom, too."
"I don't need a mother," you say. "I've never needed one. She was just very good at convincing me so."
You shake your head and pick up the brush and start working on your own hair. Mitsuko stays wrapped around you. It's acceptable.
"And now I have to clean up her mess," you continue. "I have to take care of Azula and Zuko. And that's on top of everything else. My firebending is slipping -"
"Akane, your firebending is literally perfect," Mitsuko interrupts quietly, frowning. "I've seen you practice. Lo and Li look like they're lost just trying to keep up with you anymore, and they're supposed to be the best firebending scholars, like, ever."
"They're too afraid to criticize me," you snort. "Everyone is. Why would anyone criticize me? Every flaw I have that they notice and I don't is a weapon they can use against me, or against Father."
Mitsuko frowns and rests her head on your shoulder. "I think you're too hard on yourself, Akane," she says. "You've always been too hard on yourself."
She always says this. Mitsuko is just biased in your favor.
"I can't afford to be lax with myself," you say. "I'm coming of age soon. Soon I'll need to take up a military or administrative position. And marry."
Mitsuko's quiet for a moment, looking down. You watch her in the mirror.
"Maybe that's not so bad," she says eventually. She meets your gaze in the mirror. "Getting a position, I mean. I think getting out of the capital would be really good for you. Um, if that's okay for me to say."
"You can always speak freely with me," you tell her. She nods, and purses her lips.
"You know, Yu Dao is supposed to have the best steel in the world," she says quietly. "And I haven't made my sword yet."
You frown. "I've been meaning to ask you about that," you say. "Shouldn't you have made it by now?"
"I was waiting for you," she says.
She turns to look at you, and you turn too.
Your faces are incredibly close. Her eyes meet yours. You can see every detail.
Somehow, she manages to look perfect without any effort at all.
"I'm forging the sword for you, right?" she asks quietly. You can feel her breath on your lips. "To use for you. You should be there with me." She swallows. "Right?" she asks.
You give a small nod.
"I know your father doesn't want you to come to our family home," she says. "But I don't have to forge my sword there. So, if we went somewhere, together..."
"That sounds reasonable," you whisper.
She smiles brightly. She has a very nice smile. You don't remember the last time you saw it this close.
Mother thought you were a violent, sick homosexual. She thought you would hurt Mitsuko. Mitsuko. And she even made you worry she was right.
"It's up to you," Mitsuko says quietly. "I'll be with you, no matter what you decide to do. Stay here, go tour the colonies, go fight the Earth Kingdom, hunt the Avatar." You snort, and she smiles wider. "Anything."
"Thank you," you say, voice tight.
This is what family is supposed to be like. You know because Mother always told you so, even if she never showed it. No matter how many times she said she would.
"Thank you," Mitsuko answers quietly.
She opens her mouth again, then abruptly turns to look at the mirror. You blink, her hair suddenly in your face.
"So," she says. "What do you want to do, Akane?"
-----
The session ended there with an open box for writing in ideas for short- and long-term plans. If anyone has any feedback for what they think Akane should do or any feedback for me as the author, I appreciate it! Thank you for reading <3
I kind of wonder if akane is really feeling nothing about her mom vanishing, or if she's just refusing to admit that she still loved her mother at least a little?
It would be cool for Akane to go our on a journey of some sort to be at peace with herself, the issue here is that she has to be there for Zuko and Azula.
It would be cool for Akane to go our on a journey of some sort to be at peace with herself, the issue here is that she has to be there for Zuko and Azula.
I actually like that from a story perspective. She doesn't know how to handle her emotions and thinks the things she has been taught are the answer. It makes a lot of sense from an IC perspective. Also makes her hopefully eventual spiritual enlightenment more profound.
Although... I think some people actually thought it was a legitimate way for her be at peace with herself.
I actually like that from a story perspective. She doesn't know how to handle her emotions and thinks the things she has been taught are the answer. It makes a lot of sense from an IC perspective. Also makes her hopefully eventual spiritual enlightenment more profound.
Although... I think some people actually thought it was a legitimate way for her be at peace with herself.
Welp, what an emotional rollercoaster. Akane has a lot to unpack there and Ozai is not helping (what a surprise!). I feel bad for Zuko, I want to punch him but it's clear that he got hit hard by Ursa's disappearance, just like Azula and Akane too, but now the family is more fragmented than ever.
You know, when we actually do hit canon, it'll be weird to have the Gaang be our story's antagonists, especially with how likable and non-villainous Akane is.
Sure, she wants to continue the war and conquer the world, but she's still not a crazy genocidal Phoenix King or a psychopathic paranoid Azula.
Something that is a frequent source of happiness for me is imagining Akane from the perspective of the actual Avatar story. The Fire royal who's not crazy, not weak or dumb, not unsympathetic... but nonetheless still an enemy.
The people of the Earth Kingdom have been propagandized for a century to make them believe that wallowing in filth is preferable to allowing progress to take place, and now Father is practically going out of his way to give them an actual reason to hate the Fire Nation.
I notice that Akane seems to have completely abandoned her previous work with experimenting with Firebending in other bending styles. I think that's a shame; it showed serious results after even basic attempts, and without it Akane looses a lot of what made her a unique combatant. As things stand, she's essentially a less crazy Azula, rather than an innovative combatant with a completely novel fighting style.
My headcanon for why Airbenders always seem to have really successful showings against other benders is that with the Airbenders gone for a century, all the old techniques for fighting them have been forgotten, or at least atrophied to the point of being academic. Which means that anyone who found themselves in a fight with an Airbender would have to work out the proper counters from first principles. With a completely unique fighting style, Akane would have been looking at similar benefits.
I'm feeling less interested in Akane as a protagonist after the last two updates. As much as it is understandable for a young child to feel betrayed and go on to totally demonize the betrayer, she's taken more steps towards being a protagonist that I cannot cheer for.
I'm feeling less interested in Akane as a protagonist after the last two updates. As much as it is understandable for a young child to feel betrayed and go on to totally demonize the betrayer, she's taken more steps towards being a protagonist that I cannot cheer for.
I'm curious as to what steps you are referring too.
It's a bit strange that akane isn't being honest with herself about ursa, because I didn't think ursa was anywhere near mitsuko's level of importance, which is the only person akane doesn't puzzle out her feelings for. Ursa was only mostly a liar instead of always a liar after all.
