Deep Red (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

kosm · Sep 15, 2018

Summary: You are Akane, older sister of Zuko and Azula, and Crown Princess of the Fire Nation. And you think, someday, your father is going to kill you.

Note: This is a crosspost of a quest I run on a different site, posted here in story form. One of my readers requested this, and it sounded like a good way to get more exposure and discussion so I liked the idea of course, lol. The results of votes will be included here, since they're often a major part of the narrative, but I won't actually run votes on this forum.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

----------
Prologue: At Dawn

Year: 86 AC (4 years old)
Ember Island

Uncle breathes on the sticks and branches, and the campfire crackles to life. You squint against the light - even the flickering fire is hard to adjust to, after making your way down to the beach by moonlight - but you move closer automatically. It's chilly, this early.

"Do you intend to tell us why you've brought us here, Iroh?" Father asks.

"Patience, brother," Uncle murmurs. He crouches down and scoops his hand through the fire, lifting a bit of the flame up and out. Cupping it gently in his hands, he turns to face you. You hear Lu Ten make a tiny 'oh' behind you. "Can you hold this, Princess?" Uncle asks you, smiling.

Hold...? "Yes!" you blurt, holding out your hands.

"Gently, now," Uncle cautions. Your cheeks redden. "I hear you have a talent for creating explosions."

Well -

"Raw power is not a flaw," Father says sharply. "It will not take long for her to learn control."

"Of course, Ozai," Uncle answers. His expression softens, and he slowly extends his hands to you. "Just remember your breathing," he reminds you.

Right. Breathing.

You take a slow breath, in and out, and then another. And at Uncle's nod, you reach out to take the fire. It passes from his hands to yours without resistance. You bring it close to your chest. It's warm. More than just warm. You can feel the energy, the power behind the fire, feel the same energy under your skin. And as you concentrate on keeping your breathing steady, you can feel - and see - the power of the fire in your hands wax and wane with each breath in and out.

Firebending is awesome.

"Now, Princess -"

A little breeze makes the fire flicker, and you automatically push a little -

"Careful!" Uncle gasps. Father's hand clamps down on your shoulder as the flame flares up to the size of your head, you hastily take a deep breath in and concentrate, try to keep it steady, steady -

After a few deep breaths in and out, you manage to let it shrink back down to its original size. You're sweating by the time you finish. It's more from Uncle and Father and Lu Ten's stares than the actual heat.

"G-got it," you say, smiling shakily. After another second staring at you, Uncle nods.

"Well done, Princess," he says. "My, creating such large flames at your age. You'll be a real terror when you've mastered the art, eh?" he teases. You giggle and nod.

Father squeezes your shoulder before letting go.

"Remember that the fire belongs to you, not the other way around," he reminds you. "Never fear your own power."

"Yes, Father," you promise.

"Good," he says. "Now, Iroh…?"

"Yes," Uncle says. He turns back to the fire and scoops up another little flame, tossing it to Lu Ten, and then another for father and another for himself. "Lu Ten and I celebrated his first flame by doing this, back when he was - well, a couple years older than you, Princess. And now that your firstborn is beginning to bend, I thought I might induct you into our little tradition!"

You look up at Lu Ten and then at Father - Lu Ten gives you an encouraging smile, and Father glances down at you. They're both holding their flames without any trouble. You keep your breathing steady and try to copy them.

"What does this tradition involve?" Father asks Uncle, raising an eyebrow.

Uncle points up towards the hill your beach house is on.

"The sun will be rising over the other side of the island soon," he says. "We'll walk up to meet it, and take our flames with us. Keeping the fire alive during the hike is a good exercise in control for the little ones."

Lu Ten scoffs a little. "Dad…"

Uncle laughs. "You'll always be little to me, my son."

"Are you sure this hike will be okay for her, though?" Lu Ten asks. "She's only four…"

You look up the hill. It's not that far to walk, but with the fire… you guess Lu Ten did it, but still. Father looks between the hill and you, then nods to Uncle.

"She can do it," he says simply.

And that decides it.

You do your best to power ahead, pushing yourself to keep your flame as strong and your pace as fast as you can while ascending the hill. (8)
You keep a steady, even pace as you climb, focused on nothing but keeping the fire steady as you close on the goal ahead. (6)
You let yourself fall into a sort of zen as you climb, just going with the flow and letting the fire do what it will, just naturally keeping it there in your hand. (5)
You let yourself focus on letting the size of the fire wax and wane as you climb, experimenting with your ability to change it while still controlling it. (0)

"Come on, Akane!" Lu Ten urges, grinning at you. "Just a little farther!"

"Remember your breathing!" Uncle calls, again.

"Keep that fire strong!" Father tells you.

The hint of pride in his voice nearly makes your fire spin out of control. You grin and nod at everyone's urging, but you're too focused on gasping and heaving for breath to answer. Your legs and chest are burning, you're drenched in sweat - but your fire is burning as big as your whole upper body, and somehow you're still managing to keep it suspended there between your hands. It feels amazing, you don't even know how to describe it, it's like your body has an extra heart beating alongside the one inside you, the fire feels like it's just flowing through you, you're breathing it and pumping it through your body and it's just - amazing! You feel like you could run forever like this!

The pain in your legs kind of disagrees. Everyone else is so much bigger than you, keeping up with them was a lot harder than you expected.

"We made good time," Uncle says, climbing to the crest of the hill. "You can slow down if you want, Princess."

You shake your head and stubbornly power forward. You're not slowing down till you're done. Just one more step, then another, then another, and -

You grin triumphantly as you reach the top. "Did it," you gasp. Lu Ten laughs.

"I can't believe you did that!" he says, awed. "Was I that tough when I was four?"

"No," Father says bluntly, coming up behind you. "No, you were not. You cried. All the time."

Lu Ten mumbles something you can't hear over Uncle's guffaws.

"We've got a few minutes before sunrise," Father says, hand on your shoulder. "Here." He holds his waterskin to your mouth, and you drink up quickly - the water's getting warm just being near your flame. "Walk a bit to cool down."

"Got it," you gasp.

"And try to shrink that fire down a bit! You won't even be able to see the sunrise over the top of that thing!" Uncle teases.

He has a point, and you do as he says.

...The sunrise is beautiful.

You stand there and watch the sun peek over the horizon, you and Uncle Iroh and Father and Lu Ten. Father's hand stays on your shoulder, and your fire stays in your hands, a comforting second heartbeat. You're still breathing hard, but the burning in your muscles seems to settle down for a moment - a comfortable flame.

"Fire is the element of power," Uncle says. "Nothing can survive without power to sustain it, just as nothing can survive without the Sun to warm it."

"Fire is also the element of will," Father says. He squeezes your shoulder. "Your will is your sun, Akane. It is your light and the source of your fire. Lose it, and you die. Never forget that."

"Well said, little brother," Uncle murmurs.

You nod firmly. Your will is your sun.

You'll remember.

* * * * *
87 AC (5 years old)
Ember Island

You giggle at Zuko as he goes running off down the beach, yelling a tiny battle cry, and you giggle when your little 3-year-old brother heroically rescues a tiny turtlecrab from an eaglehawk. You look at him curiously when he pauses and looks between the two animals, and make a little face at him when he looks your way, giggling some more.

You stop giggling when the wave comes in and knocks him off his feet.

"Zuko!" Mother shouts. Father's already on his feet by the time Zuko hits the ground, and he's crossed the beach by the time the water drags Zuko out to sea. You sit there, paralyzed and staring, mouth still half-open from giggling. You don't think you move until Father comes back a few minutes later, a bawling and coughing Zuko cradled in his arms.

You look at the seawater spraying out of Zuko's mouth for a second. The second stretches out bizarrely long, like some spirit somehow crammed more time than usual into a tiny little moment. And then, finally, you start crying too.

Father comes to check on you a few hours later. You're sitting on the beach again, in the same spot. Zuko's still inside with Mother and little Azula, probably still throwing up salt water.

The ocean looks so calm, even now.

Father sighs as he sits down next to you. "Your brother will be fine," he says to you. Again. "The seawater turned his stomach, but he's alright."

You nod, still looking out at the sea.

"Are you alright, Akane?" Father asks pointedly. You nod again.

"...It was so fast," you say quietly.

"Yes," Father agrees. "It was."

"I couldn't do anything," you say.

"Hm." Father shifts in place. "You are still learning, and growing," he says after a moment. "You will be every bit as fast as I am, someday."

You shake your head. "I-I couldn't move -"

"Akane," Father says firmly. You turn to look at him, force yourself to meet his eyes. His gaze is intense - his eyes look like fire, more than any other firebender you've ever met. "You are a princess of the Fire Nation," he tells you. "You will learn to react to the unexpected, to survive whatever dangers confront you, to protect your family just as we protect this nation. You will not allow yourself to fear something as simple as the ocean. You are far, far stronger than it. Do I make myself clear?"

You nod, swallowing. You're stronger than the ocean. You are stronger than the ocean. You're Princess Akane. Of the Fire Nation.

The image of little Zuko getting swept out to sea in a heartbeat won't leave you alone. He's a prince, too.

"I will not fear the ocean," you tell Father, forcing strength into your voice. He nods firmly.

"Good."

You both look out at the sea, at the calm little waves lapping at the shore.

Just harmless water.

"Waterbenders must be awful to fight," you mumble, resting your head on your knees. Father barks out a laugh.

"Don't underestimate them," he says. "But don't fear them, either. If they've not been wiped out by the time your Grandfather and Uncle's reigns end, it will be Lu Ten and you who finish the task."

You shrug and nod. You guess. It seems far away. Father said once that the war will probably end soon after you become an adult, when Sozin's Comet returns. So you guess you won't have to worry about it for long.

"Come on," Father says. "It's getting late. Come inside and read one of your books. Keep building your head start on your studies before your schooling starts."

"Okay," you mumble, shrugging.

At least Father likes when you read stuff. Mom is always telling you to go play instead. And then she gets mad when you burn things. It's confusing.

You and Father start walking up to the beach house. You're partway there when an idea hits you.

"Father," you begin, "Do we have any scrolls on waterbending?"

"Scrolls on waterbending?" he echoes, raising an eyebrow at you. "There are likely some stored in the Royal Archives. Why? Curious to learn about your enemies?"

You nod. "I wanna know how they do it," you mumble, thinking back to that calm, harmless-looking sea.

"It could be a productive course of study," Father muses, nodding. "Uncle Iroh did much the same for a time, and claims it helped him learn to better face them in combat. I'll see about finding you something to read about them. Earthbending as well, perhaps?"

You nod and shrug. "Sure. I like reading."

"I'll see what I can find," Father says.

* * * * *

Even for a firebender, there's plentiful wisdom to be found in the other elements. Akane's choices can build up her affinity to each of the four elements, improving her ability to use insights from other bending arts to enhance her firebending with creative new techniques. Each element is associated with different traits and ideas.

Fire is the element of power. It is associated with aggression, will, audacity, dynamism, and passion.

Earth is the element of substance. It is associated with standing one's ground, facing things head-on, providing solid support, and methodical, steady action.

Air is the element of freedom. It is associated with evasion, going with the flow, forsaking attachment, and taking advantage of one's momentum.

Water is the element of change. It is associated with redirecting energy and potential, cyclical ebb and flow, and adapting quickly to the situation at hand.

Akane's approach to her initiation when she was 4 reflected a strong affinity for the element of fire. Of the elements aside from fire, which has she spent the most time studying as a hobby?

Air. (14)
Earth. (12)
Water. (7)

* * * * *

87 AC
Royal Fire Academy for Girls

You looked forward to starting school for ages - you love reading and learning. It ends up being a massive let-down. The classes are too basic. The other children are too intimidated to talk to you. Even some of the teachers are. Even the firebending class ends up being boring because most of the kids here haven't ever even created fire before. Mother and Father say they're going to get the boring class situation fixed within a week or so - they just have to arrange some different tutors for you. But the situation with the other kids doesn't seem to be changing. It's a pain. It's not that you're lonely, but you'd like to make friends your age eventually. Mother certainly seems to think it's important. You have no idea how to fix it, though.

Fortunately, a solution drops itself in your lap one day while you're reading in the courtyard. Literally.

You blink at the stick that's just landed on your dress, and set your scroll aside to pick it up.

"Hey, can you toss that - o-oh," a girl's voice says. "Oh, wow, I'm - s-sorry!"

You look up - there's a girl there, taller than you, dark-skinned and pretty. A gaggle of other girls holding sticks are standing a few feet away, staring at you. The girl in front of you is already starting to kneel.

"Wait!" you blurt. She freezes, her eyes wide.

How do you... befriend someone?

"What is your name?" you ask her.

"Mitsuko, Princess Akane!" she barks, standing at attention.

You incline your head. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Mitsuko..."

"Daughter of Piandao," she supplies quickly. "Of Shu Jing!" She bends over double in the steepest bow you've ever seen, you have no idea how she even stays upright. "The honor is mine, Princess!"

You aren't familiar with her family, but she seems nice enough. You should likely befriend her. You haven't ever really spoken much with someone else your age, but it can't be that hard.

Ask Mitsuko what she was doing, and if you could join her. (17)
+ Make sure she knows there are no hard feelings. (13)
Ask Mitsuko if she would like to be friends. (9)
Simply inform Mitsuko she is now your friend, to eliminate any possible confusion. (9)
Invite Mitsuko to read with you. (4)

She looks as though she's afraid she's offended you, so the first step is likely to reassure her that's not the case.

"You are too kind," you say, smiling. You try to make sure your nervousness doesn't show on your face. "Please, you needn't bow." As she straightens, you hold out the stick to her. "Is this yours?"

She bows again, looking at the ground. "Yes, Princess," she says. "Forgive me, I didn't see you there."

"It's really alright," you insist. "Please, you don't need to bow. What were you playing?"

"Um." Mitsuko straightens up, but fidgets. "We were, um... pretending to duel, Princess Akane. With swords."

"Oh!" You brighten. "That sounds fun! My cousin Lu Ten and I used to do that sometimes. May I join you, Mitsuko?"

"J-join -?" Mitsuko looks at you wide-eyed, then back at her friends, then back at you. She bows again. "O-of course, Princess Akane! We would be honored!"

Mitsuko hurries to find an appropriate stick to fashion a 'sword' for you from, and before long you and the other girls are engaged in heated combat. It's a little easy, like everything else - no one else seems to be quite as in shape as you are - at least until you and Mitsuko face off. She's fast. Ridiculously fast. And precise. She apologizes every time she manages to hit you, which is often, but you just laugh it off and tell her to keep fighting, this is fun. She knocks your stick out of your hand a couple times before you think you get the upper hand for once - and then she just ends up somehow spinning you around and knocking you over, falling on top of you. You both giggle as you catch your breath.

"Sorry, Princess," Mitsuko says again. "I forgot to hold back."

You snort. That doesn't exactly help heal your pride.

"Please, you don't need to apologize," you say. You smile up at her. "And you can call me Akane."

She smiles back.

* * * * *

89 AC (7 years old)
Fire Nation Royal Palace

You're idly moving through the motions of the air shield - using spinning fire instead, of course - next to one of the ponds in the courtyard when you hear them.

"...but is it not possible that something may have changed?" You think it's your father's voice - he's talking quietly, you don't turn to look at him, just tune it out. "He hasn't been seen for a century."

"He has not reincarnated," another voice - older, you don't recognize it - answers. "Either he is alive, or the cycle is broken. It does not... mutate."

Their voices fade a bit - despite yourself, your curiosity makes you end up straining your hearing to make out anything more. You switch to the water whip instead, to make less noise.

"...admit there's something unusual..." your father is saying.

"...certainly gifted..." the other replies.

"...four elements..."

"Not bending them... firebender..."

"...bloodline..."

"Not determined by blood..."

The conversation becomes too quiet to hear any more. After a few minutes of silence, you dare to glance over in the direction you last heard their voices from. Father is standing there, watching you practice.

He looks disappointed in you, even angry with you, and you don't know why. It's an unsettling feeling. You forget about it soon enough, though.

It's only a few short years before it comes back with a vengeance.

kosm · Sep 15, 2018

Chapter 1: Take Warning

Year 93 AC (11 years old)
Fire Nation Royal Palace

Your sister has no right to be this good.

You twist out of the way of a punch, miss her with your elbow, dodge her kick but can't quite catch her leg your footing's off, you adjust as you duck and backpedal away from a spray of fire -

You ignore the scent of singed hair, and the smirk it brings from Azula.

You rapidly back up towards the edge of the mat, buying distance to attack with fire instead of fists. She tries to rush back into close quarters but you cut her off with a spread of fire aimed low - she doesn't take the bait and try to jump over it, though. Guess she learned after you nailed her mid-air last time. You're tired and breathing heavy but you quickly start pushing her back again now that you're back on the offensive. You're still the better firebender, your little sister isn't that much of a prodigy. You get her on her back feet, and press the attack - just pen her in, and -

Azula disperses your fireball with a circular motion of her arms, spinning on her heel at the same time. You recognize the form immediately, even though you haven't learnt it yet.

Master Kunyo used it in a practice spar with one of the guards. Half an hour ago. You and Azula were watching.

Azula is now copying it.

You hate her sometimes.

You know exactly what she's about to do and you have no idea what the proper counter for this counterattack is and about half a second to decide.

You just need to be ready to take her attack and redirect the energy back at her; she'll be off-balance and vulnerable to a counterattack after using an unfamiliar form. (19)
You need to focus on evading and letting her burn out this second wind so you can finish her off. (18).
You need to charge and attack as aggressively as possible to interrupt her. (6)
You don't know what to do in this instant, so stand firm and wait for the right opportunity to strike. (3)

Azula spins into a whip-like kick, sending a bolt of flame curving your way - you're in the wrong position to deflect with a fire shield, you're in the wrong position to dodge, but if you can just -

Before you can think it through, you're in a stance vaguely like the water whip, hand outstretched to guide in and catch the bolt of fire -

It doesn't work.

Not quite, anyways. The firebolt hits your arm and chest, the force sending you spinning and flying backwards, but somehow - your other arm lashes out towards Azula on instinct, and the blast you release is a lot stronger than the sputter it should've been.

You both go flying backwards. It hurts when your head thuds back against the mat - but it's against the mat. You kick back up to your feet -

Azula's glaring at you, also back on her feet. But not on the mat. She'd been pushed too far back before the exchange.

Master Kunyo claps twice. "The spar is concluded," he says. "Princess Akane has won."

You quickly dip into a perfect bow. "Thank you for aiding me in my training, Azula," you say.

Her bow is equally perfect, aside from the roll of the eyes that only you can see. "It was my honor, big sister," she replies.

The closer she gets to beating you, the more irritated she gets after every spar you win.

"Azula, that was an impressive attempt at a counterattack," Master Kunyo says. The two of you straighten and hurry over to get some water. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you managed that. Akane..." He sighs. "What, exactly, was that?"

"My question exactly."

You shut your eyes, and take a steadying breath.

Your father is here.

You hate when Father visits during training. There's no room for imperfection around him anymore, and nothing is perfect during training. Not your form, not your posture, not your clothes -

"Father," you say calmly, bowing deeply. "I -"

"Tell me, Akane," he cuts you off. "To what nation do you belong?"

Fantastic.

"The Fire Nation, father," you answer, not straightening up.

"The Fire Nation?" he echoes. "Fascinating. You are a firebender, then?"

You hear Master Kunyo shift his feet.

"I am, father," you answer.

"You are?" he asks. "Interesting. What was the name of the firebending form you used at the end of that spar, then?"

You resist the urge to grind your teeth. "I was improvising -"

"Straighten out of that ridiculous bow and look at me," Father snaps.

You do. Perfect posture. Polite expression. He looks at you with nothing but anger and you don't know why.

You should be used to it by now. It started this year and just never stopped. You don't know what you did.

"When Azula improvised, she performed a novice's impression of the 16th Kata, which was at least recognizable as firebending," he snaps. "What is the typical counter to the 16th Kata, Master Kunyo?"

"The 17th Kata, Prince Ozai," Master Kunyo answers.

"Ah, the 17th Kata counters the 16th Kata," Father answers. "One would think that would be easy to remember, for a firebender who spent her time studying firebending."

You aren't sure when or if you're supposed to apologize. You never know anymore.

"Now, I can understand your lack of ability to keep up with your sister's talent for learning," Father continues, leaning in closer to you, "What I cannot understand is why your 'improvised' attempt to counter her attack looked more like the flailing of a novice waterbender than the practiced instinct of a firebender-in-training. Would you like to explain that to me, Princess Akane? Is there some reason why your instincts have fallen so far out of tune with your own element that you can barely hold your own against an eight year old?"

You aren't going to cry. You are not going to cry. Your jaw is clenched and your eyes are wide open and you are not crying.

Apologize and say that Azula is a genius. (10)
+ We don't know the seventeenth kata. We don't know the sixteenth kata. We aren't onto that yet. Azula doesn't know the 16th kata, she just copied what she saw a few minutes ago. (8)
Apologize and promise you will train harder from now on. (4)
Try to explain that you were attempting to redirect the fire, but that experimenting during the spar was clearly a mistake. (4)
Apologize and say you have no excuse. (0)

You have no idea how to deal with Father when he's like this. But you at least know how to handle Azula's wounded ego.

"Azula is a genius, Father," you say humbly, turning to bow to her instead. You use the opportunity to clear your throat and school your features. You can't show weakness to Father. "I was shocked when she performed a kata neither of us had yet learned, and my hesitation prevented me from reacting properly."

You don't look up, but from her lack of response you think she's taken aback by the praise. Father just scoffs.

"Then I recommend you spend more time practicing your bending and less practicing your ability to ingratiate yourself to the truly gifted," he snaps. "A true firebender relies on their own strength, not their ability to hide behind others."

You don't even know what he's talking about now, you didn't do that. He has to be angry at something else, right? If you could just figure out what he was really angry at, he'd stop yelling at you.

"Yes, Father," you say quietly.

Father dismisses you, turning to speak to Azula instead. She meets your eyes for a moment as you leave, her expression blank.

But you think there's no hard feelings that you beat her one more time.

You've had as much bending as you can take, today. You go out to unwind with your usual hobby...

You read about history, military tactics, that sort of thing - it's a useful topic, and still lets you rest and unwind. (19)
You meet up with Mitsuko and spend time together, sparring a bit with practice swords. (16)
You entertain a number of other students from the Royal Fire Academy for Girls - you have a lot of friends among the young noblewomen there, now. (11)

* * * * *
Once you leave combat training behind, you're free to again become the very epitome of a perfect princess. You hurry back to your rooms and scrub your skin flawless again, dress yourself beautiful again. Mitsuko applies just the right touches of casual make-up while you grit your teeth and puzzle over how to eliminate the slight singes Azula left you with in your hair. It's visible, this time. Barely visible - even Mitsuko can't see it at all - but you can tell. She knows you hate it when she messes up your hair and she does it anyways. But you find a way to cover up the damage easily enough.

Your presentation, your appearance, your composure - you've mastered those much more easily than you're mastering bending. It's comforting. This is one area, at least, where you can make yourself untouchable. No one who looks at you could ever see something less than royalty.

You spend the afternoon reading in a secluded corner of the courtyard, next to your favorite little pond. Your book today is just a history of Grandfather's conquest of the Hu Xin Provinces on the west coast of the Earth Kingdom. You're familiar with the broad strokes already from your tutors, of course, but this treatise goes into much more detail on the tactics and strategy involved - it's fascinating. And picturing it all in your head, all the armies marching across the savannahs and forests of the Earth Kingdom, is relaxing. Like a structured daydream. It reminds you of meditating.

Mitsuko gracefully dances around with her practice sword while you read, practicing her forms. She's become something like a cross between a confidant, handmaiden, and self-appointed bodyguard for you since you met all the way back at the start of school. You guess that's what friendship is, really. Azula's friends Ty Lee and Mai are the same way with her, minus the bodyguarding. And Zuko has Mom, of course. It's like she never spends any time apart from him except when he wants her to. And she even helped him convince Mitsuko's father to start giving him lessons with swords.

Father isn't the only one who plays favorites.

...Your focus on your reading is slipping. You look up from your book. The water lilies are pretty.

"Akane?" Mitsuko asks. She pauses her practice and turns to look at you. "What is it?"

You have no idea how she always does this. It's like she has an extra sense or two. But it's nice to have someone who pays so much attention to you, without insulting what she sees.

"Just thinking," you murmur.

"About what?" Mitsuko asks.

I tried to come up with a new firebending move today. (21)
Father has seemed troubled lately. (15)
Why did you decide to become my friend, Mitsuko? (14)
+ Father always says that firebending is about control. It's strange though, control has so much to do with Father, and so little to do with fire. (8)
You've met Zuko during his lessons, haven't you? What do you think of him? (3)
What it would be like to finish my ancestors' conquests. (2)

Your idle thoughts about parents playing favorites aren't really fair or relevant. Attention has to be earned. And it's not like Mitsuko can do anything about it anyways.

"I tried to come up with a new firebending move today," you finally say. "It didn't quite work out."

"Oh! That sounds exciting, though!" Mitsuko grins. "What was it? Did you do the fire sword? I really think it'll work if you try again, I know fire daggers is a real move so a fire sword would definitely work!"

That one is... still on your to-do list. You could never do something so frivolous during training, and lately bending practice is the last thing you want to worry about while trying to relax with Mitsuko. But you really should try to do it soon, you know she'll love it if you pull it off.

"I haven't attempted to create a fire sword, yet," you demur. "I will soon. Although I doubt that it would be safe for you to spar with me while I had a sword made of fire."

She shrugs, twirling her practice sword around in a complicated loop. "It's okay!" she chirps. "I'll just dodge your swings instead of blocking any. It'll be fine! And really cool!"

You hold in a snort, inclining your head and smiling slightly instead. "You could simply do that, yes." And it probably wouldn't even really challenge her.

Mitsuko grins brightly and twirls her sword around some more. She's so fast she practically looks like she's airbending with it. "If you practiced with me some more you'd probably start lasting longer!" she teases.

Azula's lucky her friends can't beat her up. You just smile up at her, quirking an eyebrow in exasperation. Mom has this way of talking with her expressions and nothing else; you've seen her use it a lot when talking with nobles and officers and even Father. It's hard to explain - it's not something that translates exactly into words - but you think you're starting to pick it up, too. It's really just a matter of instinct.

Mitsuko accidentally whacks herself in the back of the head with her practice sword and drops it.

"Are you alright?" you ask, still smiling.

"Y-yeah, just - yep!" Mitsuko says, rubbing her head. "S-so what was that move you mentioned?"

Yep, you're definitely getting the hang of it.

"Well, I was sparring with Azula..." you begin.

You tell her the story in brief, focusing on your moment of indecision when Azula attempted an unknown attack and your split-second decision to try to redirect it. After checking to make sure you have privacy, you beckon Mitsuko to sit next to you and whisper to her that your attempt was based on one of the waterbending forms you've studied.

"That's amazing!" Mitsuko whispers back, eyes wide. "You're inventing secret techniques! It probably just didn't work because you made it up on the spot - what do you think went wrong?"

"Aside from Azula's attack coming too fast, I'm not sure," you murmur. "It could just be a flawed idea. There's no guarantee it would work even in theory."

"It makes sense to me," Mitsuko replies. "I mean, why wouldn't it work? You said it made your counter better, right?"

"I think it might have," you say. "But I have no proof."

"Well, you just have to try it again!" Mitsuko says. She frowns. "What you really need is someone to practice bending with who isn't - um..."

"As competitive as Azula?" you supply.

"Yeah, that." Mitsuko scratches her head. "Maybe one of our classmates? I bet we can find someone you can trust who's good at bending. I'll help if you want! New people are fun!"

"Maybe," you say. A practice partner who would let you experiment without any risk of her talking bad about you behind your back to Father... that could absolutely be helpful. "Maybe, yeah. You don't need to trouble yourself on my behalf, though."

"Nah, it'll be fun!" Mitsuko chirps, smiling. "We'll find someone cool to play with and you can invent lots of super secret powerful firebending moves! You'll see."

She grins at you again, and you grin a little back. It looks like you may have a new adventure in the works.

* * * * *

Year: 93 AC (11 years old)
Palace Gardens

It doesn't work out very well. A few weeks later, you and Mitsuko still haven't found a training partner for you. You've spent some time experimenting with firebending with several of your classmates, and at least you've gotten to know some people better had some fun - and confirmed that, yes, you can manage to make a fire sword and, yes, Mitsuko can still beat you up while you're using it - but at the end of the day... none of them can keep up with you. They're good for having someone to lob bits of fire at you on command, but there's really only so much you can do with that. Sure, you can catch and redirect fire when they toss it at you, but anyone could do that. There's no special technique required. When Azula came at you with a real blast, that was when a special technique would've been nice.

Or just the 17th Kata. Which you have now mastered. It's not like you're ignoring your actual training while you experiment. You're working harder than ever. You have to, to stay ahead of Azula. She's working harder than ever to finally pass you.

Both you and she were more than a little frustrated when Mother interrupted your exercise to take you on a walk in the garden with her and Zuko. It's not like there's any point to you two coming. After a few minutes of her making a token attempt to talk to you - 'how is training going?' 'it is going well, Mother' - Zuko ends up taking over the conversation as always. He tells this story about swordfighting he heard from Mitsuko's father - you've heard it before. Mom 'ooh's and 'aah's through the whole thing even though Mitsuko tells it way better than Zuko does.

You and Azula are left trailing a few feet behind the two of them, walking through the Royal Gardens in silence. She looks bored out of her mind. You look perfectly content and polite.

Well, maybe this is a chance to talk to Azula about something other than your current cutthroat attempts to beat each other in sparring.

Talk about firebending. (15)
Ask how Mai and Ty Lee are doing lately. (15)
Ask how her classes are going. (10)
Talk about good books. (5)
Talk about interesting things in the Garden. (1)

"Mai hasn't been here to play this week," you comment to Azula. "Is everything alright?"

"She's off on some trip with her family," Azula sighs. She doesn't elaborate.

You used to play together all the time. You even showed her the one airbending scroll Father found for you, when she was a toddler. But ever since Father's opinion of you apparently soured, she's just... it's like she avoids talking to you, now.

"Ty Lee tried to teach me how to do a triple back flip the other day," you try again.

Azula snorts, smirking a little. "I saw."

You give her a small smile of your own. "I must have looked ridiculous, attempting it in my dress."

"It was probably for the best," Azula says, waving a hand. "You almost broke your neck, but I think you'd just explode if you tried wearing something other than a fancy dress."
It's not like you wear a dress during training - actually.

You hide a secretive little smile behind your hand. "Ah, so you've finally figured it out?" you ask. She looks at you curiously. "I don't wear a fancy dress while we spar," you explain. "I hold it in during the fight, but if you manage to pin me down..."

You splay out your hands and let little puffs of fire out of them. "Boom!" you tease quietly, smiling. Azula giggles a little bit and rolls her eyes.

"Well, you better hope that's true," Azula challenges you, smirking. "Because I'm going to win tomorrow."

"I'm sure it won't be long before you do win," you answer easily. "You're really challenging to fight. I enjoy it."

Azula shrugs and twirls a bit of fire around her fingertips. "It's fun to fight you too," she says. "You're the only one who's still even close to being a challenge."

"Honestly, I was excited just to have a challenging opponent at all," you tell her. "Until you really started firebending, I was only ever able to spar with Master Kunyo or Father. Or Lu Ten, when he was home. It's not the same when you know your opponent is holding back."

Azula nods. "Oh, I guess so. I guess there wouldn't really be anyone else who could spar with you. The other girls at the Academy -"

"- are rather new to the art," you supply gently, flicking your gaze towards Mom. Azula follows your eyes. "Or nonbenders," you continue. "Of course Mitsuko could spend years swordfighting with me and I'd never catch up, but I can't really practice firebending with her."

"Ty Lee and Mai are the same way," Azula sighs. "It's fun to do flips and play games, but when I want to focus on my bending they can't really do anything useful."

You glance at her. She looks pretty annoyed. "Useful?" you ask.

"You know," she says, shrugging. "They can't firebend with me."

You and Azula used to play and experiment with firebending together outside training, of course - the recent surge in competition between you slowly put a stop to that. You ruled Azula out of your current search for a partner to experiment with since you were worried that she would mention something to Father - Father would get furious that you were wasting time on useless experiments instead of just focusing on learning the real forms first, especially after he yelled at you over it just a few weeks ago. But if Azula wants someone to experiment with as much as you do, maybe you could trust her to keep it secret if you asked her to?

Mention to Azula that you've been feeling the same way - maybe you could spend some time together working with firebending more casually outside of training. (27)
Mention to Azula how great of a sister she is and how you're so happy to have her as part of your family, and indeed, to have a family. (8)
+ I'd really enjoy acting more like sisters again. (8)
Don't bring up the idea - it's safer to go with someone else, even if their skill will be limited compared to yours. (1)

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, if you actually manage to get Azula interested in other bending styles too, maybe Father would suddenly stop seeing them as a frivolous waste of time.

He certainly didn't seem to think your interest was so pointless back when you were the favorite child.

"I often feel the same way," you say to Azula. "Training is important, but rigid. It feels stifling if the only time I firebend is when Master Kunyo is dictating everything I do."

"Exactly!" Azula complains. Which is a relief; you wouldn't have dared say that around Father, but you thought Azula might agree if he wasn't present. "He usually goes too slow, anyways. And he never lets us burn anything."

You burn things every day. But you get the point.

"We should start firebending together again sometime," you suggest, voice casual. "For fun, I mean. We haven't played Dragon Hunting in months."

Azula crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at you. "You just want to spy on my firebending," she accuses.

"We already spend all our training time together," you point out. "It's not like I need to spy on you by playing games with you."

Which is why you honestly don't understand why she stopped wanting to play with you in the first place. How did she get so paranoid?

"Being careless is a habit a princess can't afford," Azula says haughtily.

"Mm," you say, trying to think of a counter. "Well..."

"Maybe after I beat you I'll deign to play your childish games some more," Azula finishes, turning her nose up.

You decide the simplest solution might be the best one, here.

"Okay," you say simply. "I'll just go find things to burn on my own. You'll have plenty of time to firebend the way you want to eventually."

Azula glares at you. You smile politely.

"Maybe you can ask Ty Lee and Mai if they mind having fire thrown at them?" you suggest. "Mitsuko and I play games where I firebend at her sometimes, and she's not scared."

"Mitsuko lets you firebend at her?" Azula asks, her eyes widening a bit.

Sorry, Mitsuko. "Yep," you say. "She says it's good practice dodging."

"That's what I tried to tell Ty Lee," Azula mumbles. "Maybe I'll just play with Mitsuko, then."

"Don't be silly," you say lightly. "You know her loyalties lie with me. If you were willing to expose your firebending secrets to her, you might as well just play with me so you can at least see my firebending as well."

Azula frowns and looks away, kicking a pebble out of the path. You look away too, doing your best to mimic the way Mother serenely studies the flowers. She's murmuring something to Zuko about one of the rosebushes, but you can't really make it out.

"I suppose..." Azula begins. You school your features into a politely curious expression, hiding your smile, and turn to look at her. She looks away, crossing her arms. "It may be an acceptable risk to play Dragon Hunting with you. And Mitsuko."

Now you let yourself smile. "I think that sounds fun."

Mitsuko can handle herself. You don't feel bad. You'll give her a present to make it up to her.

Talking about firebending seems to break the ice with Azula. You start chatting more comfortably after that, joking and laughing together, even playing a bit with fire and showing off tricks. It's fun. Really fun. You missed this, the past couple months of nonstop competition with her have been really stressful.

While you're playing, Mom looks over her shoulder at the two of you and smiles. It only lasts a moment before she turns back to talk to Zuko.

You and Azula both pause.

Mom is going to give herself credit for you playing with Azula now, isn't she?

"This flower is ugly," Azula declares suddenly.

She sets one of the roses on fire at the exact moment that Zuko turns to look over his shoulder. You keep your face blank, already knowing what's about to happen.

"Mommy!" Zuko gasps, pointing. "Azula's burning one of the flowers!"

"Azula!" Mom scolds. You step back out of her way as she rushes over. "You will treat the Royal Gardens with respect!"

"What?" Azula mutters. "It deserved it. It wasn't as pretty as the others."

Mom makes a frustrated noise as she beckons you over. "Akane, put this out! Quickly!"

Your eyes meet Azula's for a second before you step over and bend the life out of the little fire she'd started. You don't quite manage to save the rose she wanted dead. You hear Azula whisper 'tattletale' to Zuko behind you, and then -

"I'm sorry for the trouble, Mother," you say, at the same time Zuko yelps in pain.

"You don't - Azula!" Mom barks, looking past you. "That's enough, young lady! Go to your room and think about what you've done!"

She walks past you one way and Azula walks past the other. Azula looks over her shoulder at you; you're not sure if Mom does.

"Are you alright, Zuko?" you hear Mom ask behind you.

"I don't understand why she has to be so mean," Zuko whines.

"I will retire to my room if Zuko is alright, Mother," you say, looking over your shoulder at them. Zuko is rubbing his arm, the sleeve singed. Azula does this every time he tattles and he never seems to get the message.

"That's alright, Akane," Mom says distractedly. "Thank you for walking with us."

As you head back inside, you catch a glimpse of Father standing at the edge of the Gardens. He scowls at Mother and Zuko from a distance. You stand there in the doorway, watching him watch them, annoyance and anger and maybe something else written all across his face. For a second you feel almost like the two of you are getting along again, even though he doesn't notice you at all.

Father turns and walks away, off towards one of the balconies. You don't know what he's doing; he never really goes for idle walks like this. Maybe something's on his mind? Maybe it's the thing he's angry at that he's taking out on you?

Don't follow him. (14)
+ Go after Azula. (12)
Follow your father. (7)

Whatever Father is doing, you don't want to be caught snooping around while he does it. And Azula shouldn't just have to sit around in her room alone all night. You head off after her.

She makes a few snarky and biting comments when you knock on her door and ask to come in, but you weather them without complaint. She asks if Mother sent you, and you say no. She sighs and lets you into the room, and then ignores you while she burns one of her dolls. You don't know how she still has any left; you had thought the servants stopped replacing them ages ago. You sit on her bed and clasp your hands in your lap and relax, speaking when spoken to and staying silent otherwise.

She eventually throws the burning doll at you, but she doesn't tell you to leave.

* * * * *
Year: 93 AC (11 years old)
Royal Palace

Near the end of the year, you run into Father in the hallway. He's smiling. You both stop and blink at each other. He's barely smiled all year.

"Akane," he says, the smile freezing, half-dead on his face. "Ah. There you are."

You bow deeply. "Father."

"Dress in your finest clothes for dinner tonight," he instructs you. You straighten and nod. "We're eating with Fire Lord Azulon. Celebrating."

He's being unusually friendly tonight.

"Celebrating, father?" you ask cautiously.

That smile comes back to life, fierce and satisfied. "A letter arrived from Iroh," he says. "The Earth Kingdom's lines have crumbled. He's pushed through all the way to Ba Sing Se and is laying siege to the city."

You stare at him. The Earth Kingdom capital... "We're about to win the war?"

"We may well be," Father says. "Ah, and Lu Ten sent you a letter -" He pulls a scroll from his robe and hands it to you. "Here. Respond promptly. Iroh says Lu Ten was promoted recently - I'm sure he'd appreciate your congratulations."

"I'll send them immediately, Father," you say, smiling. "I - so they'll be coming home soon?"

"If all goes well," Father answers. "Be sure to make offerings for them. I know you always do."

Did he just acknowledge something you do right?

You bow slightly, trying to conceal your smile. It's too much of a smile for something so small, it's improper. "Yes, Father."

"Good."

You straighten, and Father reaches out his hand towards your shoulder -

Then he pauses, looking at something down the hall behind you. You don't move, just watch his face as his expression darkens.

By the time he shoves you out of his way, you're already resigned to it. You don't react, just stumble back and bow your head to him as he passes.

"Get to it, then," he snarls over his shoulder.

"Yes, Father," you mumble.

Why does he do this? As soon as you dare, you look in the direction that ruined his mood. What did he -

Oh.

Standing there, watching you from down the hall, is Mother. Her expression is pained.

Oh.

Your expression is politely blank.

Now you see.

It makes sense, now. It's a logical explanation. You've seen them fight sometimes. Now you realize you've been seeing them fight all the time, without knowing it. He treats Zuko the same way, after all. Maybe it's not just because Zuko is pathetic at firebending and whines constantly. Does he think Mom cares about you like she cares about Zuko? Is that why he does this? Does Mom treat Azula the way she does because she's Father's favorite? Does she not care about you because she thinks Father still does? Did they both just pick a child for their team and then assume the other also picked you?

Did Mother do something to turn Father against you? Did Father do something to turn Mother against you?

You keep your expression perfectly polite. Your posture is perfectly correct. Your make-up is perfect, beautiful, subtle. Your clothes and hair are perfect, even after Father shoved you. The expression on Mother's face is ruining her image; she has no composure compared to you, even at her age. You think that right now you look more like royalty than she does.

She starts walking towards you. You turn and walk quickly to your room. You have a letter to write.

* * * * *
You change your clothes into something more beautiful and adjust your make-up for dinner tonight. By the time you finish, you're composed enough to read Lu Ten's letter.
Lu Ten's letters are always wonderful to receive. He's not just a soldier - he's an artist, and he always includes sketches of beautiful landscapes or interesting people or even bending forms he's seen. You have a whole collection of them in your room. This letter includes a pair of really beautiful pastoral landscapes, a collection of drawings of earthbending forms an enemy general used in battle - and a drawing of the outer wall of Ba Sing Se. You think he must be exaggerating the scale - it's absurdly large and tall. Is that really what it looks like in person?

Lu Ten gives you a few tips on a firebending form you asked about last time you wrote him - you'd figured out most of it already since then, but some of his advice is actually really insightful and new. You suppose there are some things that soldiers pick up about firebending that Master Kunyo's by-the-books teaching just doesn't cover. He also makes a few comments about things that the books got wrong about the Earth Kingdom, since he knows you love learning that kind of thing. And he includes a joke he heard from Uncle Iroh.

What did the earthbender say when he lost his shoe? Omashu!

They are the funny branch of the family.

You draft a letter congratulating him for his promotion and answering all his - somewhat rambling - questions and comments. After a moment's hesitation, you also...

Tell him to make sure to take time to appreciate everything around him when he can. It sounds like a beautiful land, even in war. (27)
Tell him to just focus on keeping himself safe. You miss him a lot. (22)
Tell him to go and win glory for you. You would fight alongside him if you could. (3)
Tell him you love him and hope to see him again as soon as possible. (3)

Please be sure to take what time you can to appreciate the beauty around you, cousin. You have been away at war very long, and I would not have you forget your eye for art and your love of nature before you return home. The Earth Kingdom sounds like a truly beautiful land; I hope that we will be able to see it in peacetime someday soon.

With love,

Akane

* * * * *
Year 93 AC (11 years old)
Royal Gardens

Mother tries to corner you to talk with you alone repeatedly over the next few days, but you manage to give her the slip each time. After a few weeks pass, you thought she just gave up on it.

Obviously, that was a mistake.

"You've been distant lately," Mother says, kneeling next to you.

You've been distant? She finally noticed?

You don't look up from your book. This is where you sit when you want to read. She should know better than to disturb you.

"I think we should talk about this," Mother says gently.

Mitsuko was running around swordfighting the air as usual before Mother got here. She must've sent her away so she could corner you.

"Akane..." Mother sighs.

You turn the page. This is an interesting book. Anthropological commentary by the Fire Sages on the beliefs and traditions of the Air Nomads. It's a fascinating and rare discussion, especially since the Air Nomads produced very little writing or culture of their own.

"Are you just going to pretend I'm not here, Akane?" Mother asks.

It works well enough for you.

The Air Nomads believed in detaching themselves from worldly concerns. To an extent, their philosophy was noble, but it clearly had its deficits - they never produced anything of value, they subsisted by stealing from other civilizations, they were never driven to really master their element. The Fire Sage who wrote this commentary draws a comparison between the Air Nomads' detachment and the ability of the Royal Family to wield the cold-blooded fire, which requires one to exert their will with perfect clarity of thought and purpose. The philosophy behind the cold-blooded fire is clearly superior. It does sort of make you wonder how much point there is to learning from the -

"Akane. Look at me."

You go to turn the page, and Mother catches your hand.

Tell her Zuko is probably wondering where she is. (25)
+ Use our royal mask. (21)
Ask her what there is to talk about. (19)
Wish her good morning and then ignore her. (12)

You look up at her and smile politely. "Thank you for joining me this morning, Mother," you say. "Please, don't let me keep you too long. Zuko is probably looking for you."

Mother looks like she's been slapped. You quickly look back down at your book and slip your hand out of hers. She lets you.

Your chest feels oddly tight. You focus on your breathing, let your jaw relax. There is no reason to let her affect your composure. You are a Princess of the Fire Nation. You are above all of this.

Mother turns to face the pond. You wait for her to leave, trying to focus on your book again.

"I know I spend a great deal of time with Zuko," Mother says quietly. "Your father..."

She trails off. You ignore her.

"I've never meant to ignore you, Akane," she whispers to you. "You are my eldest daughter, and I love you."

You resist the urge to snap your book shut and leave. "I love you too, Mother."

"Akane," Mother says gently. "You don't need to wear that mask with me."

You just barely restrain yourself from setting the book on fire.

'Mask'? Mask? She thinks you're wearing a mask? You're royalty, you are a princess, your composure and your bearing and your appearance are absolutely perfect, that's not a mask it's just who you are and if she thinks you secretly have some disgusting flawed personality beneath it -

"I'm not certain what you mean, Mother," you answer. Politely.

Mother sighs. "You know exactly what I mean."

You look up at her. "You give me too much credit," you say. You smile. "I'm afraid I'm not as perceptive as you believe."

"I think you're more perceptive than I gave you credit for," Mother mutters. "Akane, I owe you an apology," she says. "I... your father and I have a... complicated relationship. I..." She sighs again.

"If the topic troubles you, I would not want to pressure you into speaking of it," you tell her.

Mother gives you a flat look. You give her a polite, respectful smile in return. And unclench your jaw.

"I should have been honest with you as soon as I saw what was happening," she says. "Please. I'd like to make things right, if you'll let me explain."

"I'm not -"

"Akane, please," Mother interrupts. "Put the book down and listen to me."

You smile at Mother and nod. "Of course. Forgive me." When you set the book aside, the cover doesn't even have scorch marks on it.

Mother looks around the garden for a moment before moving closer, kneeling by your side. She's quiet for a moment before beginning to speak.

"Your father and I have a complicated relationship," she repeats quietly.

She brushes a stray strand of hair back from her face, looking down. You watch her, polite and attentive.

"When you were born, I... it was difficult for me, being a mother," she says. You look away. The pond is still. "I tried to do the best I could - we both did. Even Ozai was a good father, at first. You remember that, don't you?"

"Of course he is a good father," you answer.

Your voice is tight.

Unacceptable.

You take a relaxed, deep breath.

"You grew up so quickly," Mother says quietly. "You were always so brilliant. And you began firebending so early. Once he saw what a prodigy you were, that was all Ozai cared about. He spent every moment with you. I was left to care for Zuko, and Azula. And then Azula showed she was as gifted as you are, and Ozai took her, too. Zuko... your father... I was all Zuko had," Mother finally says. "He needed someone's protection."

"Yes," you say neutrally. "I understand."

"I tried to be here for all of you," Mother insists. "I spent as much time as I could with you and Azula. I cared for you after you were born, I read to you..." She reaches over to touch your perfect hair. "We spent so much time together while you were learning how to do your hair and make-up," she says wistfully.

Don't take credit for that.

"We did," you say, smiling to her. "Of course I treasure those memories."

She half-smiles. "This is what I mean by growing up fast," Mother says quietly. "You act like you're my age. I don't even know when it happened."

"I am a princess of the Fire Nation," you remind her, smiling and inclining your head. "I only do my best to maintain decorum befitting my station."

Mother puts her arm around your shoulders.

"You are still my daughter," she murmurs. "And you don't need to hide how you feel with me. I know you're angry."

"I don't know what -"

"Akane, stop."

"Stop what?" you ask, not looking away from the lake. "Mother."

"Talk to me," she urges. "Please. I'm trying to make things right. You've gotten dragged into... your father and I have been having an argument, and you've been caught in the middle. It's not fair to you. I know it isn't. I'm trying to make things right."

You left me alone, left me alone for so long. (21)
+ Not just me but Azula too (23)
+ Azula acts out to get attention when she's with you. Being a prodigy has always been enough to get Father's approval. She doesn't understand why it doesn't with you. (16)
Make things right how? (13)
What argument? (3)
Why me? (0)

"How, exactly, have I ended up caught in the middle?" you ask. "You've done quite well at keeping me at a safe distance all these years."

Mother is quiet for a long, long moment.

"Things have been worse with your father this year," she finally says, her voice strained. "I thought that keeping some distance from you would help protect you from his anger at me."

"So you left me alone," you say neutrally. "I understand. Maybe that's why I was so close to Father before. I'm not sure why it would have failed you recently. Was that your approach with Azula, too?"

"Akane," Mother says quietly.

"It must be difficult on you to have to avoid us," you say, trying to make your voice sound sympathetic. "Azula is hard-working and brilliant and always able to win Father's approval. It must be difficult on you to be unable to give her the same praise."

Mother's hand starts to withdraw from your shoulder. You're not sure if this conversation is going the way you imagined it would.

"I know it's hard on her as well," you continue. "She's only a child. But I'm sure she would understand if she knew why you do it. I'll make sure to explain it to her, so that you don't need to endanger her by getting too close."

Mother is silent. You can feel her hesitating, trying to decide whether to just leave.

"I know I feel better, now that I know all of this is just because of a minor spat between you and Father," you say, still looking at the lake. "I had almost worried that I had done something wrong to drive you away. It's a relief to know it was only your choice."

It's quiet.

It's quiet for a long time.

You hear Mother sniffle. Then again. You hear her struggle to get her breathing under control. You wonder if you should be crying, and even experimentally try to push yourself to do so, but nothing happens.

"You really did grow up fast," Mother finally manages. "Akane, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," you say automatically. "Please forgive me if I have been rude."

Mother keeps trying to get her breathing under control. You're perfectly composed. Of course you are. This isn't a mask, it's who you are. You are perfect.

"I just hope," she says, "That you have the chance to marry for love."

Why should you care what she hopes about your future?

"I hope that you and Father succeed in finding me a good husband, then," you answer.

"You'll choose who you marry," Mother says viciously. "I can promise that much. I've failed you enough already, I won't fail you in that."

You don't know what you're supposed to feel about her promises.

"I only hope my decision meets with your approval, then," you say.

"It will," she insists, her hand on your shoulder. "I promise it will. Akane, I'm not here to try to take control of your life. I just want to make things right between us. You are my daughter, Akane, I love you."

Stop it. "I likely won't make any choices you approve of, I'm afraid. Forgive me, Mother."

Now you're just arguing for the sake of arguing and you know it, you need to stop. This isn't dignified.

"I don't believe that, Akane," Mother says. "I know I haven't been here for you, I - I should have realized sooner how much I was hurting you. And Azula. But I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and your sister. Even to me."

Shut up.

"I'm proud of who you are, Akane. And the choices you make," Mother says. "I just hope it's not too late for me to be a bigger part of your life."

"Fine," you snap. "I'll marry Mitsuko, then. Go and arrange it with Father."

"I - Akane?" Mother asks. "Akane, please, I'm trying to be honest -"

"So am I, Mother," you say, trying to control your voice. "Why wouldn't I be? Why don't you go arrange it? I made a choice, are you proud of it? You said you'd approve of whatever I wanted."

"Akane, I am trying to be serious -"

"So go bring Mitsuko back here!" you snap. "You sent her away so you could talk with me, didn't you? Go get her! I'll marry her. I love her because she's there for me."

"Akane," Mother hisses. "Lower your voice."

"Why?" you demand. You finally turn to look at her - and lose your train of thought when you notice her cheeks are stained with tear streaks.

"Don't make those jokes so loudly," she orders you. "Not even when you're angry at me."

"It's not a joke -"

"It is a joke, and you will marry a man," Mother hisses, leaning in closer. You recoil. "And don't let your father ever hear otherwise, do you understand me?"

This is what she does. She makes these big promises and you barely even have to try to find something that makes her draw the line. No matter what it is. It barely ever takes more than thirty seconds to find some catch or loophole in whatever she promises. Love. Support. Pride. There's always a catch. And you barely even have to prod her before she reveals it, and acts like it was your fault.

You and Azula both know it.

"I understand, Mother," you say tightly. "As I said, I hope you and Father find a husband who suits me."

"Akane -"

You push yourself backwards and grab your book, standing up. You bow deeply.

"Excuse me, Mother," you say. "I really must be going. I had made plans with Mitsuko and Azula for this afternoon." Your words are coming out too quickly. It's improper. "Thank you for taking the time to speak with me."

You hurry off before she can respond, making a beeline for your room.

You need to fix your makeup.

kosm · Sep 15, 2018

Chapter 2: Lengthening Shadows

94 AC (12 years old)
Royal Woods

"Get back here!" Azula yells.

"I'm right here, little sister," you call back.

By the time her blast reaches the tree you were in, you've already leapt to the next one, using the smoke everywhere as cover. Azula growls in frustration and lets loose with another three fireballs.

She comes close to burning down the whole forest every time you 'play' out here, lately.

"This isn't even fun!" she complains, looking around for you. You duck behind a tree trunk once you're satisfied she's heading in the wrong direction. "Come down here and fight!"

You climb a little higher, trying to stay quiet. The crackling of burning wood helps cover any noises you make, anyways.

"Maybe you should put out some of those -"

"Quiet, Mitsuko!" Azula snaps. "Keep playing with your toy swords!"

You frown. Nobody talks to Mitsuko like that. Then again, Azula knows that, and she's trying to draw you out. Annoying.

If you let Azula see you react to her talking about Mitsuko, she'll never stop. Stay calm and make sure you've set things up perfectly before you attack. (30)
Calm yourself, and meditate until Azula loses her cool. You know there is nothing that'll punish her more for insulting Mitsuko than you denying her fun. (7)
An advantage in a play fight isn't worth letting Azula pick on your Mitsuko. Go ahead and attack now. You can pretend you only attacked because she was distracted with Mitsuko. (7)

You mentally chastise yourself. Obviously you can't react to Azula insulting Mitsuko; if you show her it's that easy to get a reaction out of you that way, she'll never stop picking on her. Mitsuko puts up with enough bullying from Azula already.

Once you find a position without too much smoke clouding it, you take a careful peek out at your little battlefield. Azula is facing away from you, confronting Mitsuko - you can't see Mitsuko's face, but your instinct tells you that she's noticed you peeking out. She tends to be able to do that sort of thing. You look around quickly, making note of where all the trees are and where the burning branches are strewn around. Your memory isn't on Mitsuko's level - her father's taught her to be able to memorize a landscape in enough detail to be able to draw it from memory after little more than a glimpse - but you're at least passable. Once you've got a good idea of where everything is, you duck behind the trunk again.

"Akane," Azula calls, singsong. You start climbing. "Where'd you go? If you don't come out soon, I'm going to have to play with Mitsuko instead."

"I would be honored to play with you, Princess Azula," Mitsuko answers politely. You hold back a smile.

"Oh, I'm so glad," Azula answers. "Maybe we don't need Akane here after all. I was thinking of trying out a new move with her during this game, but I suppose I don't need a bender to test it on."

You jump to the next tree while she's talking. The sound of her own voice and her own fires seems to cover up your movements. You ignore what she's saying. It's not relevant to what you're doing right now.

"...What move?" Mitsuko asks cautiously.

You've been reading more studies of the airbenders, lately, and you've found you have a bit of an affinity for their philosophy. It's not all savage nonsense. It fits surprisingly well with your firebending, even. Firebending is usually about passion, which you would think wouldn't go well with the airbenders' philosophy of detachment, but ultimately fire is the element of will. And it's freeing when you let go of everything else around you, detach yourself from everything that distracts from your own will. It's empowering. It's a calm, focused sort of passion. And you think it's making you stronger. More precise.

It certainly makes it easier to deal with people.

"Here," Azula says. "Give me your hand."

You watch from above while Azula reaches out her hand to Mitsuko. She's trying to play a game of chickenpig with you. She's going to lose. Taking Mitsuko's hand is only going to leave her vulnerable to you when you drop down on her. It's just a matter of timing...

Mitsuko slowly lifts her hand. As Azula grabs it, you let yourself drop from the limb you're hanging onto. When you're halfway to the ground, you twist into a fire kick. Azula gasps and whirls around toward you -

And instead of letting go of Mitsuko's hand in shock, she yanks Mitsuko in front of her.

"Mitsuko!" you shout. Mitsuko twists out of the way - partially. They both screech and go flying backwards when your blast of flame hits them. You land in a heap on the ground, not able to catch yourself properly - and Mitsuko and Azula go flying backwards and land on one of the burning branches that you'd intended to use to box Azula in.

You try to lunge back to your feet but can't quite support your weight on one leg. You shut out the pain. "Azula! Mitsuko!" you shout, bringing yourself up to a crouch.

Azula sits up slowly, groaning but untouched by the flames around her - and Mitsuko screams and lunges off the branch, rolling in the dirt to try to put out her burning clothes.
Azula points at her and laughs.

"Help her!" you snap at her. "I can't walk, my leg's hurt!"

Azula frowns at you in concern for a moment before doing as you said, extinguishing the fire on Mitsuko with a flick of her wrist. "She's fine," she says dismissively. "No thanks to you."

"No thanks to you!" Mitsuko snaps at her, scrambling back to her feet. She looks herself over and pats herself down frantically, looking for any remaining flames. "You pulled me in front of the blast! I'm not a firebender, Azula!"

Azula scowls at her. "That's Princess -"

"Azula!" you snap.

"Don't change the subject! Are you so scared of taking a hit you have to use her as a shield?" (26)
+ "Mitsuko is very good about dealing with firebenders, but there are limits. People get hurt playing/training sometimes, but we don't actually want serious injuries. Especially on purpose." (16)
"A princess who abuses her position and power is going to swiftly end up not a princess at all, and one who is a known cheater or coward will only be regarded as such, no matter how much of a genius they are." (17)
"That's not okay! You could have really hurt her!" (9)
"Stop it! I don't set your friends on fire, do I?" (4)

"Don't change the subject!" you order her. "Are you so scared of taking a hit you have to use her as a shield?"

"No!" Azula snaps. "I was just reacting! It's your fault for being careless!"

Your expression goes politely blank as you push yourself up to your feet, ignoring the shooting pain in your leg. She thinks she can call you careless with your friend?

"Azula," you say, voice level. "Mitsuko is kind enough to join us for play and for training. Accidents can happen, but injuring her on purpose is not conducive to either."

"You attacked and I defended myself!" Azula counters. "You should've been more careful! If you can't keep track of your own friend during a fight, she's a weakness that someone's going to exploit. It's not my fault."

Your leg is killing you. You shift your stance to put all your weight on your good leg, just pretending to stand upright for now. "We were playing a game, not fighting to the death."

"If you get in the habit of being careless, you won't be able to handle a real fight," Azula scoffs. "You shouldn't be so careless even if we're just playing."

You briefly wonder if this is all just Azula's way of showing concern for Mitsuko's future safety, but honestly you don't think she thought it out that much.

"Um, speaking of 'just playing'," Mitsuko says hesitantly. "You two have kind of been getting really intense whenever we play anything, lately..."

"What are you talking about?" Azula demands, scowling at her. "Just because you can't keep up doesn't mean it's too intense."

A burning limb falls from a tree behind her, landing with a loud CRASH.

"Mitsuko may have a point," you allow. "Regardless. Azula, I appreciate your concern for the long-term safety of my friend and myself," you say, inclining your head and smiling politely. "But if we are injured during training or recreation, that only sets us back. It may be more productive overall if you communicate these concerns first through verbal warnings, rather than demonstrations."

Azula rolls her eyes and looks away. "If I'm going to play with someone who needs me to go easy on them, I might as well just play with Zuzu."

"I'm not asking you to go easy on me," you counter. "In fact, I'd appreciate it if you tried harder. I know you're more than capable of beating me without relying on the luck of having a bystander on hand."

She bristles. "It's not luck -"

"Do you think all of your fights will happen to occur where a non-bending friend of your opponent is conveniently placed for you to use them as a human shield?" you ask pointedly. "While I appreciate your concern for my ability to protect my friends, I hope that my deficits do not distract you from honing your own ability to fight without the use of such circumstantial advantages."

Azula glares daggers at you. You give her a placid stare in return.

"Fine, then," she snaps. "Let's have a rematch, with Mitsuko out of the way this time."

"That works for me," Mitsuko says immediately. "Maybe I should just go back to the palace -"

"Actually, my leg is injured," you say, finally allowing yourself to grimace. "I think I landed on it poorly. Let's go back for now, and have the rematch later."

"You're just making excuses!" Azula accuses. She walks closer, fists balled at her sides. "Your leg is fine! Do you think you're always going to get to call off a fight because you have a boo-boo? Come on, Akane, let's go!"

Telling your little sister that you have an injury is one thing. Allowing her to see weakness in you during a spar is another. You need to get back to the palace while things are still under control.

Let Azula look at your leg to see the injury - letting her see the physical wound is still better than letting her see your composure or your skills falter. (13)
Put your hand on her shoulder and say "Azula, there's nothing wrong with being competitive, but don't let it control you." (3)
Just cut the discussion off and order Mitsuko to help you walk back to the palace. (2)
Accept Azula's offer of a rematch, and try to straight-up beat her while wounded. It's not likely you'll win. (2)

"Well, let me at least look at it first," you say. "To see if it is anything serious."

Azula shrugs and turns away. "Fine. I'll get warmed up."

You sit in the grass and roll up your skirt a bit - oh. Yeah, that looks unfortunate. Your ankle is pretty heavily bruised already. When you call Azula's attention to it, even she can't really argue much.

"That's what happens when you jump around like a hog monkey instead of actually fighting," she mutters.

"I will do my best to learn from my mistakes," you answer.

Mitsuko hurries over to help you up, and the three of you make your way back to the palace - where you're met by your mother.

* * * * *

Royal Palace

You keep yourself still as the Royal Physician examines your injury, just focusing on the painting hanging on your bedroom wall. It's a gorgeous landscape - Crescent Island at sunset - and you've always really liked it. You just imagine yourself there and tune out all the people gathered around your bed and the feeling of -

You hold back a hiss as the physician prods your ankle again. Alright, it's a little difficult to tune out completely.

"Yes, I'm afraid it does seem to be sprained," he says. "Possibly fractured. She'll have to stay off it for a few weeks, and it needs to be bound."

Mother sighs. "Thank you, Surya." The elderly physician stands, shuffling over to get something out of his bag. Mother fixes you and Azula with a stern stare. "What on earth were you two doing out there?" she asks.

"We were just playing," Azula says. "And Akane fell out of a tree."

"'Just playing'?" Mother echoes. She reaches over and brushes the shoulder of Azula's tunic. "Is that why you're covered in ash?"

You aren't covered in ash. You made sure to keep yourself clean. Azula is just sloppy.

Azula scowls and bats away Mom's hand. "We were playing with fire," she says. "We're firebenders. That's what we do."

Mom returns her hand to her lap and looks at you, concerned. "Did something happen while you were playing today, Akane?"

Explain you tried a falling fire kick and got careless. (9)
Just tell her you really did fall out of a tree. (4)
Say that you got injured trying to keep Mitsuko from accidentally getting burned. (1)

"I attempted a falling fire kick out of a tree," you say. "But I'm afraid I was careless and didn't focus enough on landing safely."

Mitsuko, standing over in the corner of your bedroom, shifts her feet and looks at you. But you know she'll go with whatever you say happened.

Mom frowns. "Attempting falling fire kicks out of trees is a little much for when you're just playing, isn't it?"

"She's done it a million times before," Azula says. "It's fine."

"If you're getting injured while playing games, don't you think your games might be a little too intense?" Mom asks pointedly.

You and Azula look at each other. You admittedly did originally want to find a firebending partner who was less competitive than your sister, but you've been having a lot of fun. So it's probably not too intense, yet.

"Do you think so, Mother?" you ask Mom. "Usually we have a good time."

Mom gives you a flat look.

"May I begin binding the Princess's leg, Lady Ursa?" the physician asks. Mom shakes her head.

"Actually," she says. "I'll handle it myself. Do you have your bag of herbs with you? I'd like to put a poultice on it."

"Oh," he says. "Yes, of course. I know you are quite capable. Would you like any assistance, Lady Ursa?"

"No, that's alright," Mother says. "Thank you, Surya. And thank you, Mitsuko."

The physician bows and excuses himself. Mitsuko hesitates for a moment, looking to you - you're certain Mother intended that as a dismissal, so you give Mitsuko an apologetic smile and nod. She bows deeply to you and your mother and says she'll wait in the gardens and return to check on you before going home for the night. After she leaves, it's just you, Azula, and Mom.

As you and Azula watch, Mom brushes her hair back and smiles at you both.

"Well, if you're going to keep 'playing' like this in the future, you should learn to take care of injuries like these," she says. "Akane, can you see from there? Come here and watch, Azula. I learned how to make this poultice when I was your age."

* * * * *

It's actually... kind of interesting. Mother has always taken care of you and your siblings whenever anyone was sick, but she's never taught you anything about herbalism before. You don't think she's taught any of you about this before. Not even Zuko.

It's been a few days since your talk in the gardens. Maybe this is her way of apologizing? Maybe she's going to start doing a lot of things like this from now on?

...You probably shouldn't get ahead of yourself.

"...this leaf doesn't actually have medicinal properties," Mom confides to you as she grinds up another small leaf. "But it's really the most important ingredient."

The leaf is releasing a pleasant smell - is it purely for aromatic purposes? "Why is that, Mother?" you ask.

"The smell," she says, smiling. "A lot of herbalists only use the ingredients that help with healing. But the smell ends up so bitter and strong that I think it makes the healing actually take longer - or at least it makes it feel like it's taking forever." She glances at you, and you smile and nod. She tells Zuko little jokes like these a lot, it's... well, you're twelve, you're not a baby who's going to giggle at every little thing, but it's nice. "But with a few extra touches, we can make the poultice's smell barely noticeable at all," she finishes.

"You can remove a smell by adding ingredients?" you ask. That seems counterintuitive, but you don't know anything about herbalism. "How is that possible?"

"Oh, it's all a matter of blending the ingredients in the right ways," Mother says. "Herbs interact in surprising ways, sometimes. Depending on how you mix two plants together, you can get a blend of their smells, or a completely new smell, or no smell at all." She meets your eyes and smiles again - she's barely even looking at her mortar and pestle, but with how quickly and precisely she moves it hardly seems like she needs to. "Are you interested in herbalism? I know it's not as fun as firebending, but I'd be glad to teach you more."

"Yes!" you say quickly. You smooth your expression a little and nod attentively - you feel self-conscious. "Ah, if you'd like. I'd be glad to expand my skills, when I have time."

Mom beams at you. "Alright," she says. She turns. "What about you -"

You just barely manage to keep yourself from jumping as Azula taps your wounded ankle.

"I think you're making it too slow," Azula says, prodding your leg again. You clench your teeth to stay quiet. "It looks like her leg has already died and rotted." She lights up a little fire above her palm and grins at you. "Maybe we'll have to burn it off."

"Azula!" Mom rebukes her. "We don't joke about such things. Don't touch her injury - these bandages will be ready in a moment."

Azula lets her fire go out, shrugging and looking away.

"It's alright, Mother. Azula only feels comfortable joking about it because we both know that if I were to truly lose a leg, I could always rely on my little sister to support me." (22)

"Do you know how to make poisons, too, Mother?" (5)
"I'm sorry for ignoring you, Azula. I do appreciate your moral support just as much as Mother's medicine, you know." (4)

"It's alright, Mother," you say. "Azula only feels comfortable joking about it because we both know that if I were to truly lose a leg, I could always rely on my little sister to support me."

Azula pulls a face and sticks out her tongue. "Ew. If you lose a leg, you'll have to get Zuzu to carry you around. Or Mitsuko." Mother's expression flickers at the mention of her name. You glance at her. "I'll be too busy becoming the best firebender ever and conquering the world."

Mother opens her mouth to scold Azula again, but you quickly interject before she can.

"How tragic!" you say. "I'll be forced to while away my days in the Palace, breathlessly waiting for your letters, never getting to see the legendary feats of my dear sister with my own eyes. Could you really be so cruel as to leave me behind, Azula?"

"It's for the best," Azula says haughtily. "If you can lose a leg this easily, you'd never last on the front lines. Maybe after I destroy all my enemies' armies, I'll let you come along to watch me crush the last scraps of resistance. You can sit in my camp and wear your fancy dresses and be everyone's favorite decoration."

You incline your head gratefully. "I'm quite flattered by your confidence that losing a limb will not diminish my beauty, little sister."

"Yes, you're welcome," Azula says dismissively, waving her hand.

Mom just looks between the two of you, seeming like she's at a bit of a loss.

It's funny. You know how to get along with Azula better than your Mother does.

"Do you know how to make any poisons?" Azula asks abruptly. Mom frowns at her again, then lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Let's focus on learning medicines first," she says dryly. "I'm sure you can defeat your enemies with firebending instead of poison."

Then again, maybe Mother can learn quickly, when she tries.

"Who cares about making poultices, though?" Azula complains. "We have a Royal Physician for that. You had to go out of your way to do this."

"You may not always have access to our physician," Mother answers. "Especially if you ever join the war effort. Lu Ten had to learn how to treat wounds when he left to fight, you know."

"Why?" Azula asks. "Let the firebenders learn about combat, and the nonbenders learn about this servant work."

"Medicine is a part of combat," Mother murmurs, returning her attention to her work. "The most important part of any battle is making sure you can come home after."

Azula snorts. "No, it's winning."

Mother has a point. You can't be careless with lives in the pursuit of victory. That's an easy way to win a battle and lose the war, along with losing everything else that matters. (22)
+"Who will be left to rule when all the competent people like you and I die? Zuko?" (11)
Azula is right, at the end of the day. If the point of battle was for everyone to come home after, the whole war would be stupid. You fight for a cause, and that cause is what's most important. (4)
This argument is well and good, but it's not really relevant to you. You'll just always win your battles and return home after. You're perfect. (2)

Mother has a point. There's a line between committing to your goal and being reckless with people's lives, and royalty has to understand that. Otherwise, you'll be the kind of leader who wins every battle and loses the war - along with everyone and everything you care about.

"When victorious warriors come home, everyone welcomes them as a hero," Azula says. "Nobody wants cowards and weaklings to come home like they deserve a hero's welcome. It's dishonorable."

"Azula," Mother says gently. She sets down her turns to look at her. "Honor or no, the most important thing to me will always be making sure you come home safely."

Azula regards her silently for a moment, then looks away.

"Well, that's not what Father would say," she scoffs. "And he's the Prince."

"Father values our lives, Azula, no matter what," you counter immediately.

"Of course he does," Azula snaps, raising an eyebrow at you. "I didn't say he didn't?"

You - did you miss her point? You never misspeak, you - Azula is just being incoherent.

"Besides," you say quickly, "We're royalty, not common soldiers. We're the ones who have to decide when the cost of victory is worth it. We have to look at the larger scale. We can't win anything if we die."

"Obviously," Azula says. "I'm not stupid. I'm just saying that losing and dying are both unacceptable. That's just common sense."

"Sometimes surviving is a victory," Mother murmurs. She sighs. "But you two shouldn't have to worry about this at your age. Azula, come here. Let's finish this poultice and get these bandages on."

Azula scowls, but doesn't argue. You lay back on your bed and watch the two of them work, trying to commit everything Mother does to memory.

Father does value your lives, of course. Azula obviously didn't mean to imply that he didn't. Father would want you to learn skills to keep yourself alive even if you got defeated or injured.

And even if he wouldn't, you still do.

* * * * *
94 AC (12 years old)
Royal Palace Training Yard

"No," you say. "You have to put some actual passion into it. Do it again."

"I am putting - you're not even looking!" Zuko shouts.

You open your eyes and sigh. He's glaring at you. Pouting, really. It's not very intimidating.

"Did you make a fireball that time?" you ask politely. He looks down.

"No..." he mumbles.

"And the reason you didn't make a fireball this time is the same as the reason you didn't last time, and the time before that," you tell him. "You're not putting any feeling into it."
With your leg still healing, you can't really play firebending games with Azula right now. You can't really work on your bending much at all aside from meditating and practicing your breathing. Uncle always, always insisted that you could never get too much practice with the basics like that.

And you would be working on that right now, if Mother didn't have the lovely idea that maybe you could help Zuko with his 'firebending', too.

"But I am putting feeling into it!" Zuko snaps. "I want a fireball! And I'm definitely angry enough!"

"It's not the right kind of anger. To be a great firebender, you have to channel the rage of our ancestors," you say, quoting Master Kunyo. "You're just channeling the frustration of a child."

"I'm not a child!" Zuko complains. It's very convincing. "I'm only a year younger than you!"

A year and a half. You sigh. "You're missing the point," you tell him.

"You're not making a point! You're not even trying to help! You're just sitting there judging me!" Zuko accuses you. "Ugh, I don't even know why I'm practicing with you at all!"

He looks like he's about to leave.

Tell Zuko to stay, and put more effort into trying to help him. Whether he's useless at firebending or not, you guess you should try to help your brother. (16)

Let Zuko leave. Focus on your meditation. It's a waste of time to try to help him; he'll never catch up to you and Azula. (4)

Zuko starts to walk away -

"Zuko, wait," you sigh. "Let me try to explain it better."

Zuko stops and turns to face you again. "Fine," he mutters.

He's your brother. You guess you shouldn't just let him stay completely useless. And however upset he is, he obviously still wants to figure this out. You just have to figure out how to get through to him...

"Zuko," you begin. "Why do you want to firebend?"

"What do you mean?" Zuko demands. "I'm a firebender just like you, Akane!"

"I'm not saying you aren't," you answer. "But fire is the element of will, Zuko. So maybe it would help if you could put this into words."

That seems to mollify him enough to make him consider it more seriously. "I..." He hesitates, then scowls. "Why do I need a reason?" he asks. "I'm a firebender, and I'm a prince, so I should be able to make fire!"

Zuko punches the air, and a tiny bit of smoke puffs out of his hand. Even worse than his last attempt. He growls in frustration. "So why doesn't it work for me?" he whines.

You need to be delicate about this so he doesn't just give up...

Tell Zuko he needs to think about this more deeply - he needs to understand himself better, to become more in-tune with his own will. His will is his sun, and without it he won't be able to firebend. (18)
Tell Zuko his reasoning makes sense - he's a prince, and he has the divine right to rule. Emphasize the importance of connecting to the rage and divine right that runs in your royal bloodline, because that's the sort of emotion that has real power behind it. (1)

"You should be able to make fire, yes," you agree. "And you can. You are a firebender. But you're struggling to firebend. That tells us that you're not in tune enough with your will. When you're really in touch with what you want, you'll be able to channel the passion and rage and focus you need to firebend better."

"What does that even mean?" Zuko asks. "You sound like Uncle."

That makes sense, considering that Uncle Iroh gave you this talk when you were four. Though in your case it was meant to help you stop causing explosions - you didn't lack power, just control. He said that meditation and self-reflection, not just practice, were the keys to controlling fire.

Of course, you've found that practice helps too, but it certainly doesn't seem to be doing that much good for Zuko...

"That's because I'm drawing on advice he gave to me," you admit. "I struggled when I was starting to firebend, too."

"Yeah, when you were four," Zuko mutters.

"That's not the point," you say. "The point is that it's the same for all firebenders. Father said the same thing, you know."

Zuko looks up at that. You nod.

"Father told me once," you begin. "Your will is your sun. It is your light and the source of your fire. Lose it, and you die."

Zuko nods, wide-eyed. It's almost annoying, how much more seriously he takes you when you mention Father. As if he thinks he's going to get Father to ever like him as much as you. If he and Mother weren't always making him angry...

You smooth your expression.

"It's something to consider," you say. "If throwing yourself at the forms over and over doesn't help, taking some time to meditate might. And work on your breathing. Uncle always says -"

"- remember your breathing," Zuko mumbles. "Right." He sighs. "I guess."

"Don't worry," you say. "You'll get the hang of it." Eventually.

Zuko shrugs. "I guess."

"Do you want to continue?" you ask. He shakes his head.

"Not right now," he mumbles. "I'll try it again later. I have to practice for Master Piandao, too." He perks up -

"Mitsuko is busy today, I'm afraid," you say immediately. Zuko's face falls.

She... well, she said she was going to be at home this evening. That's busy. If she's too busy to spend time with you, obviously she's too busy to practice swordfighting with Zuko.

"I'll just practice on my own, I guess," Zuko mutters. He starts to walk off, then pauses and turns to bow to you. "Thank you for helping me, Akane."

You incline your head politely. Mother told him to do that, you're certain.

"It was my pleasure," you say. "Enjoy your practice."

Zuko walks off to another corner of the training yard. You remain in place and meditate until the sun finishes setting.

* * * * *
Your injury gives you a lot of time to meditate for a couple weeks. Far more than you really need. Normally, you always use meditation to focus on your will and your control of your emotions - those are the keys to firebending, after all. But with your extra time, you soon start to grow tired of the same old mental exercises. Before long, you're branching out into spending your time meditating focusing on something new...

You let yourself become more peaceful, examining your own thoughts and feelings and will from a more detached, almost elevated perspective. (17)
You start to still your thoughts and focus on the flow of energy through your body, especially while creating fire. (15)
You set yourself the goal of achieving pure stillness of body and mind as you meditate. (6)

Normally, when you meditate, you're immersed in your thoughts and feelings. This is something different. It's like you're just letting your mind work on its own, while you watch from above. Thoughts and feelings come and go, and even though you feel them they don't really push or pull you one way or the other. Good, bad, strong, weak - whatever the feelings and thoughts are, you let them flow through you without letting them exert any force on you. It's an interesting feeling. It's satisfying. It feels like control.

When you start to experiment with firebending while meditating this way, it's surprisingly effective. You can keep your fire under precise control more easily, it seems. And even if you intentionally think about things that anger you or frustrate you, you can focus and detach yourself and keep your fire under control even as you put more force into it. It's almost like a cold sort of fire.

* * * * *
Year: 94 AC (12 years old)
Royal Palace

Before long, you're back to training with Master Kunyo and Azula like always. You're starting to get frustrated with Master Kunyo's slow pace, but training still goes well most days.

"During training today, Master Kunyo said Akane was taking too wide a stance for one of her forms," Azula says during dinner.

Today wasn't one of those days.

You glance up from your plate and meet Azula's eyes. You try to convey 'what do you think you're doing?' while keeping your expression polite and neutral. But Azula just grins at you without any malice in it.

"But I told him 'no, Akane's right, she's getting a bigger fire blast that way'!" Azula continues. "But he didn't care. He kept telling us to do it the way he does it. The dumb way."

Please don't finish the story, you mentally urge her.

"So when he turned around to mess up Akane's form again, I did the bigger fire blast right at his pants!" Azula finishes, gesturing excitedly. "And then while he was running around trying to put the fire out Akane and me compared forms and we figured out how to get the fire blast even bigger!"

You close your eyes and take a quiet sip of water. Your throat is dry.

"Hm," Father says.

You take another sip of water.

"It sounds like your teacher is a fool. I'll have him sent to the colonies as a punishment," he decides. "A teacher who impedes your learning has no place in the palace."

Azula is grinning ear-to-ear at you.

...What?

"Serves him right!" she declares. "What a dummy! Akane, we -"

"He's not a dummy!" Zuko protests. "He just thinks that proper firebending has to be -"

The table shakes as Father's fist comes down on it. Everyone else at the table freezes - Zuko, Azula, Mom. You don't react. You feel like you're still a few seconds behind.

"You dare lecture your sisters on firebending?" Father hisses.

You finally lower your glass of water and set it down on the table. You don't look away from it. Your throat feels dry again.

"Despite being a year younger, how many more forms has Azula mastered than you?" Father demands, voice deadly serious.

"...sixteen," Zuko answers. You can barely hear him.

"When you were born," Father says slowly. "We weren't sure if you were a bender at all. You didn't have the spark in your eyes - they were practically brown, the color of Earth Kingdom mud. I planned to cast you from the palace entirely. I already had an heir - why should I tolerate the embarrassment of a nonbending child?"

You take your hand off your glass of water. You fold your hands silently in your lap. No one is making a sound, except for him.

"Lucky for you, your mother and the Fire Sages begged me to give you a chance," Father hisses. "Your sisters, on the other hand, have never needed that kind of luck. They were born lucky. You were lucky to be born."

"Ozai!"

Your body goes as still as carved stone when Mother snaps at Father. Your eyes flick towards her as she stands -

And then a third voice interrupts.

"Your Highness!" Your gaze flicks towards the speaker - it's one of the officers of the palace guard. You don't know his name. But the sight of him - with the open door behind him - is somehow reassuring. "Forgive my intrusion! But a Yuyan Archer requests an audience with you!"

Father looks at Mother for a long moment. You notice her fists are clenched.

He stands and sweeps out of the room without another word.

The moment the door is closed behind him, Zuko starts to cry. Mother wraps him in a hug. And Azula grins at you.

"Looks like we're getting a new firebending instructor!" Azula crows.

You... are at a loss for words.

Tell Zuko you're glad he's here. (19)
Thank Azula for telling Father about Master Kunyo's uselessness. (18)
Go after Father? (7)
Do all options above this line. (5)

"Thank you, Azula," you say slowly. "For bringing up the issue. Master Kunyo was holding us back." Her grin widens - and Mother glares at you. Why is she mad at you? It's not like either of you wanted him banished. You just - obviously you need to thank Azula for at least trying to address the issue, Master Kunyo was holding you both back by constantly, constantly forcing you to do everything by the book and never improvise or question or - it's not Azula's fault if Father overreacted - not that he did, he's a prince and he has every right to banish whoever he wants to, even if...

"Zuko," you say abruptly. You almost surprise yourself. But you have to tell him... you aren't sure. What are you supposed to say to something like that?

"I'm glad you're here," is all you can manage.

Azula's grin disappears.

"What?" she demands. "Why? All he's doing is crying. I'm the one who got rid of that dummy Kunyo -"

"Azula -" Mom snaps -

"Excuse me," you interrupt, standing. You need an excuse - "I will tell the servants to give us privacy."

"Thank you, Akane," Mother sighs.

Now you almost feel bad that you have no intention of doing that.

You rush out the door just in time to see Father turning left at the far end of the hall. You shut the door behind you before you take off running after him. You make it down the hall and around the turn - there he is, he's turning right up those stairs - before realizing you don't know why you're following him. But you do know. You - you need to thank your Father for providing a new instructor, obviously. And...

Did he mean that? Did he mean it when he said he wanted to get rid of Zuko as a child? Did he mean it when he said you and Azula were both born lucky?

You try to think of what to say as you hurry down the corridor after Father. This hall leads to a balcony that's never used, you don't know why he went this way. You follow it right up to the door leading outside -

"...Ikem no longer lives in Hira'a," a voice says from the balcony. You freeze.

The Yuyan Archer who asked to meet with him - you almost forgot completely. If you interrupted Father during an important audience...

"The locals said he'd run off into a forest at the bottom of a valley nearby," the voice continues. It sounds shaky, raspy - like the man speaking is sick, or hurt. "I searched that forest for many months, but never found him. The forest... your Highness, there's nowhere in the world like it. The animals, the insects - everything preys on humans, Prince Ozai! Even the trees are deadly! A commoner could never have survived! I barely escaped with my life!"

You inch backwards quietly. You can speak to Father after this - why did you let yourself act without thinking like this? You should... you could go speak to Zuko, or Azula. Or even Master Kunyo - you should give him your sympathies before he's sent away, there's no reason to make him hate you.

"I believe... your Highness's desire has already been fulfilled," the voice finishes. You turn to hurry away -

"Your 'belief' means nothing!" Father snaps. "Did you locate a body? You have no proof he is dead!"

Dead?

"...I'm sorry, your Highness. I have no evidence but the wounds the forest gave me," the voice answers.

Yuyan Archers are elite soldiers, they're not... law enforcement. Father sent one after someone named Ikem? For... what?

"On your feet, Vachir," Father tells him. "Enough groveling. You will return to Pohuai Stronghold and give Colonel Shinu your resignation."

"Prince Ozai -!"

"The Yuyan Archers are meant to be the best of the best," Father says calmly. "There is no room in their ranks for a man who cannot best a forest and a commoner."

Father wanted a commoner killed?

"Please, your Highness!" Vachir pleads. "That forest - it's impossible for him to survive! Your Highness!"

Their voices are coming your way.

You take off running, as quick and as silent as you can.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)

Father assigns you and Azula new firebending instructors - Lo and Li, an elderly pair of women who've been imperial scribes and advisers since long before you were born. They're not even firebenders, but that actually doesn't stop them from being far better teachers than Master Kunyo ever was. Their knowledge of the theory and history of all the different forms is encyclopedic, and they actually answer your questions instead of just telling you to do it by the book. They hardly tell you what to do at all, really, they just tell you the theory and let you figure out the most effective way to apply it for yourself. It's a massive improvement; you feel like you're growing in skill much faster, now.

Everything else that was said that night - everything else that was heard that night - never gets brought up again. The palace returns to its usual peacefulness. You spend the months playing and practicing and studying as you always have, with Mitsuko and Azula and occasionally Mai and Ty Lee and Zuko. You still occasionally tutor or play with Zuko, as well, though he tends to deem a lot of your games 'girl stuff' and therefore boring.

Mother gives you and your siblings lessons in herbalism sometimes, now. But you start to notice that she sends Mitsuko off more and more often, with less and less convincing reasons. It takes a few weeks before you learn why. Mother casually gives you a book from the Royal Archives and reminds you to 'brush up' on your knowledge of politics in Fire Lord Sozin's time. There's a bookmark in the section on the Cultural Strength and Purity Initiative.

...despite the economic transformation brought about during his reign, Fire Lord Sozin remained frustrated by the continual drain inflicted on Fire Nation society by countercultural and dissolute elements. The Cultural Strength and Purity Initiative was declared in 12 BC in order to promote the flourishing of society through the removal of such elements - specifically, the countercultural influence of the Fire Nation's Air Nomad population. Remarkably, despite the Initiative's great successes, Fire Lord Sozin openly stated that he felt it was one of his greatest failures. The Initiative could not provide the peaceful solution to the Air Nomad problem that Fire Lord Sozin desired, and he was ultimately still forced to engage the Air Nation in war.

Nonetheless, the Cultural Strength and Purity Initiative undeniably saved many lives - both physically and spiritually - from foreign predation. The Air Nomads present in the Great Homeland, loyal neither to the Fire Nation nor the Air Nation, lived lives of dissolution, preying on the citizens of the Fire Nation through acts of cultural, economic, and sexual depravity. While the first act of the Cultural Strength and Purity Initiative was simply economistic - the opening of commissions to search for and seize stolen property possessed by Air Nomads - the Initiative quickly blossomed into its full role as a promoter of right living by Fire Nation citizens and protector against the toxic influence of Air Nomad cultural criminals. Intermarriage between Air Nomads and Fire Nation citizens was swiftly banned. Acts of sexual depravity that the Air Nomads had brought to the Fire Nation from their homeland - homosexuality, sodomy, and worse - were rightly identified as treasonous and punishable by death...

The afternoon you told Mother you would marry Mitsuko blazes in your memory like a bonfire.

You committed treason. You were eleven, but you committed treason. You didn't know better - you shouldn't have needed to know better, though, should you? Normal girls would never even think to utter such treasonous things. You didn't mean it, right? You obviously didn't mean it; you wanted to provoke a reaction in Mother, and you were successful - she was obviously upset to hear her child uttering such treasonous vile nonsensical things, no wonder she was angry at you, she should have been furious, Father would have been. Normal children would never say such things. Not unless they were already infected by -

The airbending scroll. You've been studying it since you were a child. Did it - are you... is there something wrong with you, now? Father wouldn't have given you the scroll if it could corrupt you like that, could it? It had nothing to do with anything - anything sexually depraved. It couldn't have done anything to you. But - why did you say that, then? Why would you say you wanted to marry Mitsuko? Was it Mitsuko who corrupted you, somehow? No, no, she's never been anything less than a model citizen, it's not right for you to blame her for something you said. It's not her fault. It's yours. Right? It's your fault.

You committed treason. If Father knew... he'd have you banished, just like he wanted to banish Zuko. Or maybe he'd send another Yuyan Archer after you.

You just...

Maybe this whole thing is stupid! You don't care about sex! Why should you have to lose Mitsuko or your airbending scroll just because of some law to protect people from Air Nomads? The Air Nomads are gone and you're a princess, you should be able to do whatever you want! (25)
+Make a note to thank mother, and do tell her that was just a heat of the moment thing. True or not, it will set her mind at ease. (14)
Don't care. Your sexuality is but a sidenote compared to your ambition to unite the nations. You are not defined by your orientation. (24)
You're overreacting. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not a homosexual, you were just mad at Mother and said random things to provoke a reaction. (8)
You should go to Mother and beg her forgiveness and ask her what she thinks you should do to fix yourself. (4)
You have to stop spending time around Mitsuko. There's something wrong with you. Or her. You aren't sure. (1)
You have to stop studying airbending. It's infecting you with treasonous ideas. (0)

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Woods

You make sure to thank Mother for the book and tell her it was very informative; you didn't realize you really knew so little about Fire Lord Sozin's great accomplishments. You humbly apologize if you have ever foolishly said something incorrect due to your ignorance about your most esteemed ancestor. That seems to mollify her; she eases up about letting you spend time with Mitsuko afterwards.

You're glad you managed to be so convincing. After a night's worth of panic at the realization your Mother was practically accusing you of treason, you swiftly decided that the entire thing was nonsense. Yes, Fire Lord Sozin was the greatest leader in history, yes, he banned homosexuality as part of his campaign against the violent degeneracy of the Air Nomads - but the Air Nomads are gone now and you're not a homosexual, so why should it affect your friendships or your studies? Why does Mother have to intervene and overreact to everything? Even after you apologized, she still gave you a look when you went out to practice with Mitsuko today. It's absurd. She's imagining it all. You aren't a homosexual, so there's no reason for anyone to be panicked or stressed or upset about it. You made a ridiculous comment but it was her fault for angering you so much in the first place, she provoked you into it and it was just a joke anyways, like she said. You aren't homosexual, you just have to have more decorum when you're making jokes. It's Mother's fault for provoking you, not yours. You aren't homosexual.

Lost in your thoughts, you lunge a bit too far with your fire sword. Mitsuko spins away from your attack, and you don't think she's even looking at you when her practice sword taps against the back of your neck.

You sigh.

"You okay, Akane?" Mitsuko asks. "You seem kind of out of it today."

"Yeah. I'm fine." You aren't completely certain if you are attracted to women yet. Look at her speculatively. (21)
+Look. REALLY. Close. (16)
Just tell her that Mother has been causing you distraction by talking about marriage lately. (19)
Tell Mitsuko - quietly - about the issue with Mother. Maybe she can do something to stop being so suspicious to Mother. (6)
"Hmm? Oh, just thinking about some of the things I read recently about Fire Lord Sozin. Have you ever heard of the Purity Act Mitsuko?" Gauge her reaction. If she hasn't heard of it tell her, then gauge her reaction. (4)
Ask Mitsuko what she knows about the Air Nomads and the Fire Nation. (2)

"I'm alright," you answer. "I don't imagine I'll ever quite be able to keep up with you in a sword fight, Mitsuko."

Mitsuko blushes and shrugs. It's odd how she's always so modest when you compliment her. "Well, if you were firebending more, I'd be pretty doomed!" she says cheerfully. "But at least I won't be totally useless when it comes to protecting you! I can make sure you don't have to waste your time fighting anyone who's beneath you!"

You smile a little at that. "You'd probably be a better bodyguard than half the Imperial Firebenders," you say.

If Mother would allow it. She'd probably invent some horrible paranoia about how you and Mitsuko were secretly lovers, or you were secretly plotting with Mitsuko to treasonously destroy the Fire Nation, or Mitsuko was actually the last living airbender and was spying on you, or something like that.

"You think so?" Mitsuko asks happily. She starts flourishing playfully with her practice sword as you talk, spinning it so fast it's almost dizzying to watch. "I mean, yeah! I'm gonna be as good as Dad someday! He can fight off dozens of benders! I'll be your personal one-woman army, like a hero and a princess in a story!"

You laugh. "Absolutely," you say. "Though I think I'd end up keeping my 'army' at home instead of fighting my enemies most of the time. I'd get bored without you around."

Mitsuko beams at you. "Well, I'll go wherever you want, Princess Akane!" she chirps.

"I know," you murmur, smiling at her. "Thank you."

Honestly, why does Mother think there's anything wrong with your relationship with Mitsuko? She's a wonderful friend. And she's devoted and thoughtful and eager to please - obviously she's the perfect companion for a princess. She really always has been. There's nothing depraved or homosexual about that. If you were homosexual, wouldn't you have some sort of violent, depraved urge when you looked at her? You look at Mitsuko all the time - you're looking at her right now. She looks the same as always. She has the same silky black hair, and a topknot you helped her put in place. She has the same dark skin, smooth and soft - though you know her hands are calloused, of course, not like yours. And her muscles are becoming more toned all the time. Her chest is starting to grow, like yours. And she wears more make-up now - she's been asking you to do her make-up more often, so she can learn how to get it just right like you do. You did her make-up today, so it's quite perfect. If there were any flaws there before, they're gone now. Her lips, her cheeks, her eyes - they look lovely.

If you were homosexual, you'd probably have horrifying thoughts just from looking at her. You guess you would want to... actually, you don't really know what homosexuals do. Something violent. You would want to do something violent to her. While kissing her, probably. Homosexuals do that. You would want to kiss her, if you were homosexual. Kiss her, violently. Like a homosexual. And probably just touch her in general. Hug her, and so on. Violently. Homosexuality is violent, and depraved, and would make you want to kiss your best friend.

What if you did kiss her, though? Would it be treason if you were just doing it to prove you weren't homosexual?

"A-Akane...?" Mitsuko asks.

"Hm?" you say.

She stopped flourishing her sword while you were looking at her. Is she blushing again?

"N-nothing!" she stammers. "I - what do you want to do? Should we keep practicing, or go back, or what?"

She gets nervous around you like this sometimes. You're not certain what causes it.

"Let's head back," you decide. "Thank you for spending time with me. I feel better, now."

"O-oh, okay!" she says, nodding rapidly. "Yeah, whatever you want!"

You look at her, considering. No one is around...

Kiss Mitsuko's cheek. (21)
+ Look around for spies. (22)
+ Make SURE you are alone father has spy assassins and Azula is sneaky. (14)
Don't kiss Mitsuko. (19)
Kiss Mitsuko's lips. (10)

You hesitate for a moment, looking around you. There's no one else out here, as far as you can tell... still.

You take Mitsuko's hand and walk with her, taking a meandering path around the forest for a bit. You don't see anyone. Mitsuko seems to pick up on what you're doing - at least, she picks up on enough to start looking around too. You suppose there could be someone skilled enough to keep ahead of you, but...

"Thank you for walking with me, Mitsuko," you finally say. She looks at you curiously -

You lean in and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. She freezes in place. Your eyes meet as you back away again.

Hm. It was... quick. It was soft, you suppose, but mostly it was quick. It feels insufficient. You feel like you would have needed to kiss her for a longer time, somehow, if you wanted to really get a solid impression of what it feels like.

Your lips are tingling. Mitsuko's still staring at you. You guess you're staring at her, too.

If you were homosexual, you would have been satisfied by that - it would have satisfied some depraved urge or something. You feel like that wasn't even really a kiss at all, so you must not be homosexual. Well, obviously you aren't. The entire point is just to prove that. You feel like a longer kiss may have worked better, though.

Hm.

"Let's go," you say, and Mitsuko follows.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Gardens

"Do you ever think about what it'd be like to be Fire Lord?" Azula asks you.

"Mm," you murmur, not opening your eyes. "I suppose so."

Azula has been joining you for meditation occasionally of late. She tends to talk the whole time, every time. Learning to respond to her while still staying tranquil and focused on your actual meditation has been an interesting endeavor.

"Do you think you'd be any good as a ruler?" she insists. "What would you do?"

You're not sure why she's asking this...

Answer that you would focus externally - you would bring the war to a successful conclusion, and unite the world under your stable, unshakable rule. (25)
"I would conquer all the nations to be under my rule. No nation or tribe will be beyond my reach. The unity would usher a age of prosperity." Metaphoric fires in our eyes. (13)
"I'd need to understand my reach before I try grasping for what's in front of me little sister, but know this. You need to be like a finely crafted blade if you want to be a great leader. Rigid, but not to a point where so much resistance can shatter you, sharp, so that you can be aware of when those around you are your enemies or allies, and flexible, so that you can adapt to the situations at hand." (12)
Answer that you would focus internally - you would make sure you were improving the well-being of the citizens, since that's the whole point of the war and the war's practically won already. (10)

"I suppose I would focus on the war, if it hadn't ended already," you answer. "And if it had ended, I would focus on bringing the new colonies into line. I would ensure that the entire world was united under my rule, and my grip could not be shaken."

"And how would you do that?" Azula presses.

Hm. "A good leader should be like a sword," you decide. "Rigid, but not to the point where they can be shattered. Sharp enough to divide friend from foe, and cut the latter. And flexible enough to suit any situation."

Azula's quiet for a moment.

"Swords aren't flexible," Azula says. "If they were bendable, they wouldn't work."

They actually are a little flexible. Mitsuko talks about making swords all the time, she's interested in that sort of thing. Whatever. You're trying to meditate.

"They're flexible if they're made of fire," you say shortly, not opening your eyes.

"That's a stupid metaphor," Azula says.

"It isn't," you say. "You just need to reflect on it more. Someday, you'll understand."

"You always say that when your metaphors are stupid," she says. "And so does Uncle."

Who does she think you learned it from? "My metaphors are never stupid," you answer. "Don't worry, little sister. In time, all will become clear."

You can practically hear her roll her eyes.

"That doesn't answer the question, though," Azula says. "Do you really think you could rule the whole world?"

You keep your expression neutral. Is there some reason she's challenging your right to rule?

"Yes." you say fiercely. My rule shall be undeniable when I destroy my enemies and take their land. No more shall the elemental nations be divided," Ignite your clenched fist on fire to show your iron resolve. (11)
+ Add that you wouldn't be alone. You would have her help, of course. (15)
+ Life under Fire Nation governance would be so advanced and civilized that none but the most savage and tribal would dare reject us. They would fall quickly and decisively.(10)
Say you would keep them in line through worship. The world would know you were the perfect ruler, and even your enemies would love you. (7)
Say the question of 'can' is irrelevant. You have the divine right to rule. All that matters is that you choose to. (6)
Say you would keep them in line through fear, as every Fire Lord always has. You would be too powerful to be challenged. (0)

"Of course I could," you say dismissively. "Life under my rule would be so much better than life has ever been in the Earth Kingdom or Water Tribes that only the truly savage could bring themselves to oppose me, and those who did oppose me would be destroyed on the spot. The people of the world would see the righteousness of my rule on the one hand and the destruction of my enemies on the other, and any resolve they had to resist me would crumble."

You open your eyes and glance at Azula, smiling slightly. She looks suitably impressed by your statement. Good. "And besides," you add. "I wouldn't be alone. I'd have you at my right hand. Just like you are now."

Azula perks up a little at that, and returns your smile. "Obviously," she says. "You'd be lost without me."

You shut your eyes again, inclining your head. "Very much so, little sister."

Azula is silent for a long while after that. You begin to think that she's actually meditating with you for once. But then you hear her shift closer to you, so close that your shoulders touch.

"One more question," Azula says quietly. "Do you think you'll marry a man and keep a woman as a mistress, or marry a woman and just use a man to produce heirs?"

You go completely still, not reacting at all. And that's probably reaction enough for Azula to know she hit a nerve.

How does she know? Who told her? Mother said something, didn't she? It's not enough for her to accuse you, she wants to use her stupid blackmail material to coax Azula to her side, she's upset you dare not to worship her like Zuko does and now she's turned against you to try to take Azula instead because she was jealous she was jealous of how Azula has always looked up to you more than her as she should because you practically raised her while Mother was too busy going off pampering Zuko every second of every day so now Mother's trying to turn Azula against you with lies filthy disgusting treasonous lies she's always hated you and now she knew she had to turn Azula against you because Azula got Master Kunyo banished with an offhand comment -

"I'm not certain," your voice whispers calmly, "what you mean, little sister."

"I was just curious," Azula whispers back. "You can tell me. You trust me, right? You're always saying you trust me. So tell me. Are you going to marry a man, or a woman?"

Tell her you'll marry whoever you want. (15)
+Ask who she will marry. (13)
+"Father will know best. It's how he and mother met after all, and look how that turned out." (9)
Tell her you'll marry whoever is politically expedient. (13)
Tell her you're going to marry a woman. (6)
Tell her you don't know. (2)
Tell her you're going to marry a man. (2)

"I'll let our parents decide, of course," you whisper to her. You feel her shift in place - the answer doesn't satisfy her. "After all," you add quietly, "That's how Father and Mother met, and we know how well that turned out."

You glance at her, and she blinks at you. Then snickers. You smile with her.

Breathing room.

"But really," you murmur. "If I was Fire Lord, I would simply marry whoever I wished. You know that. Men, women, one wife or many - the Fire Lord takes what she wishes. Are you testing my confidence in my right to rule, little sister?"

She isn't. But it would be safer if she was.

Azula seems to think about it for a moment. You change the topic further before she can reply.

"What about you, Azula?" you ask, closing your eyes again. "Who would you marry? How would you rule? You could certainly become a great Fire Lord as well."

Azula snorts.

"I would do all the things you say you want to," she declares. "But I'd be better at them. You could be my right hand, as long as you didn't embarrass me."

"I'm very grateful," you say. Grateful she's allowing you to change the subject.

She stands up.

"And if I was Fire Lord, I'd make sure to make you marry the right kind of person," she states.

She marches off. You stay there, hands knotted in your lap.

If she's going to go talk to Father, you imagine you'll find out soon enough.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Palace Training Grounds

It's amazing how quickly you can grow accustomed to having an axe hanging over your neck. Whether you're a homosexual or not clearly no longer matters. Mother's deranged suspicion has taken on a life of its own, and now that it's infected Azula it's more than enough to get you disowned or worse.

And Azula knows it. She seems to enjoy it.

She doesn't say anything to Father that day, or the day after, or for weeks after. You know she doesn't, because you're still in the Palace. But she taunts you. Almost every day, she speaks up at dinner, chirping something like "Oh, Father, I have something to tell you!" and then saying some meaningless, trivial thing after. She asks Father questions about the Fire Nation's cultural initiatives, and gets predictable answers. She hugs you more often, and kisses you on the cheek more too. You don't know if she somehow saw you with Mitsuko or if it's a coincidence.

She seems more cheerful than ever. She plays games with you more often, spends more time around you. It's like she likes you more now. You're not certain if she's just enjoying taunting you or if you did somehow impress her with the 'trust' you showed her. You just hope she'll calm down again soon.

Whatever Azula does or doesn't do, though, you'll survive. That's what you keep reminding yourself of. You are a princess of the Fire Nation, Mother's vile theories or no. You are in control. Your meditation helps with that. The good, the bad... you are above it all. Your will is your Sun, and you haven't lost it. You never will.

You are a princess. You are a firebending prodigy. You are a genius, by any standard. You are perfect. And everyone in your family has managed to find some reason to hate you or threaten you or abandon you.

Positive and negative. Yin and yang. It's that simple. You're above it all. To you, it's nothing but energy. Energy that can be guided, controlled, redirected -

And released.

After you send your first bolt of lightning arcing off into the sky, there's a long moment of utter silence. Everything is still. You keep looking up, past your outstretched hand, at the sky you've just split. You certainly feel electrified.

Father wasn't here to watch you practice, but he could probably see the results from anywhere in the Palace.

"Hail Akane!" they say. "The youngest master of the cold-blooded fire!"

You grin.

They always did have a flair for the dramatic.

kosm · Sep 15, 2018

Chapter 3: After Dark

95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Palace

"...if the city of Ba Sing Se is as magnificent as its wall," Mother reads, "Ba Sing Se must be something to behold. I hope you all may see it some day - if we don't burn it to the ground first."

Azula and Zuko snicker at that. You allow a smile.

"Until then, enjoy these gifts," Mother finishes. She nods at the servants, and Azula and Zuko rush over.

You follow more sedately. When you were only a princess, it was enough to simply be dignified. You're not just a princess anymore. You're a historical figure. The youngest creator of lightning of all time. Now, you really have to be perfect. You have more security in your position, but more demands. There's no more room to be childish and overeager like your younger siblings.

Zuko and Azula both scowl at you impatiently while you take your time walking over. Mother waits for you to reach the servants before continuing to read.

"For Akane..." One of the servants steps forward as she says your name; she bows slightly as she offers you your gift; it's a book. "A military earthbending tome taken from the battlements of Ba Sing Se. May you know our enemies as well as they know themselves."

You smile - not so much it would be undignified, but enough - as you take the book and open it. You can immediately tell it's a treasure - the illustrations are amazing, and the table of contents lists sections on tactical considerations, martial philosophy, and more. "Wonderful," you murmur.

"For Zuko, a pearl dagger from the general who surrendered when we broke through the Outer Wall," Mother continues. "Note the inscription and the superior craftsmanship."

You glance over at Zuko in time to see him unsheathe the dagger. "Never give up without a fight," he reads.

Hm. Good advice for Zuko, certainly.

"And for Azula," Mother finishes, "A new friend." You blink and turn to look at your sister, confused -

Oh no.

"She wears the latest fashion for Earth Kingdom girls," Mother finishes.

Azula is holding up an utterly ridiculous-looking doll. Its hair looks like a giant orb and its face is white as a sheet. Whether that's due to the failure of the craftsman to properly capture an elegantly pale skin tone or due to the fact that Earth Kingdom women really do cake on stark white make-up like that, you dare not guess. Azula looks like she wants to throw up.

...Uncle Iroh didn't really have much of a chance to get to know Azula before he left for the war.

Azula meets your eyes and grins mischievously. You hold in a sigh.

"If Uncle doesn't make it back from the war," she begins, "then Dad will be next in line to be Fire Lord, won't he?"

Quickly interject before Mother can, to try to soften the scolding. (20)
+ Promise Azula you'll share your gift with her. (12)
Joke that it would have been more appropriate for Azula and Zuko to trade gifts. (4)
Say nothing and let Mother scold Azula. (3)

"That is how succession works, little sister," you answer immediately. "I don't think your concern is warranted, though. By the time Uncle and Lu Ten return, there won't be a war any longer. With the wall breached, Ba Sing Se will surrender before long."

Azula gives you a look that just says 'you're no fun'. Yes, well, not everyone has the luxury of thinking it's funny to say treasonous things, Azula.

"Yeah," Zuko chimes in, already swinging that knife around. "And how would you like it if Lu Ten said he wanted Dad to die?"

"I think he's mumbled something like that before, actually," you answer smoothly, injecting some humor into your tone. "Do you remember the time he asked Father to teach him about dueling, back on Ember Island years ago?"

Mother covers her mouth with her hand. Zuko pauses. "I remember Dad fighting him on the beach..."

"It was a bit of a misunderstanding," Mother says. You can hear her straining to keep her voice neutral. "They both ended up a bit upset at the time, but we all laughed about it afterwards."

Well. You and Mother and Uncle laughed about it afterwards. A lot.

"Yeah, relax, Zuzu," Azula says, sidling up alongside you. "It's just joking around."

Mother opens her mouth again -

"Regardless, Azula, please be thoughtful," you say. "Now, do you want to look at this book with me?"

"Oh, yes please!" Azula says sweetly, grinning at you. She stands up on her tiptoes to kiss your cheek. "And you can play with my doll, too!" she chirps. "Don't you think she's pretty?"

You meet her eyes, smiling indulgently. "It's a very lovely toy."

Don't push your luck.

She grins back. "Yeah!" she agrees. "Except for these Earth Kingdom clothes. I think girls look better in Fire Nation styles, don't you?"

She always pushes her luck.

"You girls go have fun, then," Mother interjects. Her smile is strained. You're not certain whether Azula is acting like this to annoy you or her, honestly. "We'll have dinner with Fire Lord Azulon tonight to celebrate the wall being breached. Oh, and Akane - Lu Ten sent you another letter, as well."

Arms laden with your letter and book and Azula's doll, you allow your little sister to drag you out of the room.

* * * * *
Lu Ten's letter is far more excited in tone than most of his previous ones - you'd noticed he'd started seeming worn-down after the first year of the siege, and who could blame him? But the breaching of the wall has clearly lifted his spirits. After all, he and Uncle have done the impossible - they're the first people in history, Fire Nation or otherwise, who have ever successfully put a hole in Ba Sing Se's Outer Wall. The maps usually depict the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se as a solid line, as immovable and fixed as a mountain range - they'll all have to be revised after this, and not just to show the changing borders of the Fire Nation.

But Lu Ten seems just as excited by your recent contribution to the history books as he is by his own. He goes on and on about how amazed he was to hear about your accomplishment, and how Uncle was positively thrilled - he was so proud of you he had a toast to you during dinner with his officers. Lu Ten says they both wish they could have been home to see it happen, and they can't wait to bring this war to a swift end and get back to reunite with the family. He also says Uncle urges you to keep practicing, and to 'focus on the flow of energy through your body' as you use lightning - he says studying your old waterbending scrolls might even provide some insight. It's an unusual tip, but you're certain that if Uncle is mentioning it like this it must be worth something.

You can't wait until Uncle is home and you can learn more from him. Father's animosity towards you seems to have cooled since your achievement of lightning - you knew he couldn't ignore it - but he's still so much more distant than he was when you were younger. It's still rare for him to even watch your training, and he never really involves himself in it. You suppose he's just busier, now. Once the war ends, that will change, you're certain.

Some of what Lu Ten says about the coming battles does worry you, though. He says that after the wall was breached, while they were still solidifying their foothold, they were absolutely bombarded with attacks by an elite earthbending force - one they hadn't ever seen before, some sort of assassination team. They were trying to throw the army into disarray to buy time to repair the wall. Lu Ten and Uncle both got targeted, though Lu Ten assures you they're both fine. But the earthbenders responsible had absolutely bizarre bending styles - they used gauntlets and shoes made of earth, making them highly mobile and allowing them to shoot their gauntlets' fingers almost like firebolts. He says he'll draw you a sketch when he has a chance - he thinks you'd be fascinated by their style. He didn't have much time to think about it while he was fighting, but the way they seemed to blend earthbending with firebending philosophy reminded him of you - it's how he and Uncle got the idea to find an earthbending book to send you.

It all sounds very fascinating in theory, but you're more concerned about what it means for Lu Ten and Uncle. It sounds like the Earth Kingdom is getting desperate; they're going to start throwing everything they can at Lu Ten and Uncle as they advance into the city's Agricultural Zone. The savages won't want to surrender peacefully; they're cornered now, and they'll fight viciously to try to keep the war going.

As you're writing your reply to Lu Ten, you make sure to say...

You're worried for him and Uncle, and urge them both to keep themselves safe during the final days of siege. (17)
+Ask him to keep his eyes open, if they are that desperate then he's probably going to have to watch for Ambushes and Assassination attempts. (10)
"Dear Cousin, I'm thrilled to hear the good news. Shooting lighting from my fingertips seems so inconsequential compared to ACTUALLY taking down the wall around Ba Sing Se. I DO however have a slight complaint, one about Azula's gift from Uncle Iroh. I know he hasn't been around for much of her life, and thus wouldn't know her likes and dislikes, but perhaps next time he could send her something less girlish. Perhaps Earth Kingdom armor or a scroll on how to quickly incapacitate someone's vital areas? Just a thought. Make sure you and Uncle stay safe. Love(scratch that out) Best Wishes, Akane." (16)
You have faith in him and Uncle to bring this war to a decisive conclusion. They've gotten this far; they can win this. (5)
You can't wait until you, he, and Uncle can walk the streets of Ba Sing Se together. (1)

You know Lu Ten and Uncle already know all this, but you write back urging them to be careful as they bring the siege to a close. They'll undoubtedly have to watch for assassins and ambushes and all sorts of desperate trickery as they finish off the Earth Kingdom's resistance.

You also thank them profusely for their gift, and note that Azula was quite interested in it as well.

At the risk of sounding repetitive, please do keep yourselves safe. Making history is well and good, but I think that the day I first bent lightning or the day I heard of Ba Sing Se's wall being breached will not stick in my memory quite so much as the day when you and Uncle finally return home. The historians may disagree with my priorities, but I'm afraid I must stand by them. I can't wait to see you and Uncle again soon.

With love,

Akane

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Gardens

Ty Lee and Azula are playing around practicing cartwheels and flips again. You don't join in very often anymore, so you're left to sit with Mai, as always. You're bored, so...

You spend the time doing Mai's hair. You enjoy it, and she doesn't seem to mind at all; she's almost like a doll, really. (16)
+ You make idle conversation, trying to draw her out of her shell. (18)
+Ask Mai what interest her. You sometime have the impression she's only here because she get dragged along. Maybe you could do something she likes, next. (16)
+You mention Zuko often, since Azula says Mai likes him. For whatever reason. (11)
You spend the time meditating, while she sits next to you. Sometimes you get the impression she's trying to mimic you; usually she just seems bored. (2)

You beckon Mai, and she scoots into her usual place sitting in front of you without comment. You start to idly brush your fingers through her hair, trying to decide what style you can put it in out here.

"How have your studies been proceeding lately, Mai?" you ask.

"They're going well," she says neutrally.

"Are you enjoying them?" you ask. "Do you have a favorite subject?"

"I enjoy all my classes," she sighs.

It's almost funny, talking to her. She's like you, sort of, if you suddenly lost all interest in acting proper when adults weren't around and could only be bothered to halfheartedly continue. Talking to Mai, you can almost understand why Azula tries to provoke reactions out of you sometimes. Maybe she thinks you're just like Mai, and your royal demeanor is nothing but a mask.

You pull on her hair a little harder than is strictly necessary. She doesn't make a sound. You wouldn't have, either.

"You have Master Noro for mathematics, now, don't you?" you ask. "He's an interesting teacher."

"Mm." Mai replies.

"And he has a very dignified bearing," you continue. "And a very... striking... presentation."

You can't tell if that makes her smile. Hm.

"The way he struts about the classroom, with that, ah, elegant hair of his," you press. "You know, he almost looks exactly like a cat owl!"

Mai doesn't say anything for a moment. Is she cracking a smile? You can't tell with her facing away from you. She might be. You always thought that was funny.

"Do you think so?" Mai asks.

You resist the urge to sigh. There's not much you can do with that reaction. Unless... maybe if you said you wanted to do her hair like that...?

Innocently propose to do Mai's hair in Master Noro's ridiculous style, to see how she reacts. (11)
+"I've seen you move, a catowl got nothing on you in deadly grace, speed and precision." (7)
Let it go. (3)

"I do think so," you answer. "In fact..." You brush your fingers through her hair. "I think you could look good with such a majestic hairstyle. Don't you agree?"

Mai shifts a little. "Do you think so?" she asks again.

Aw. You can hear the discomfort in her voice already. You don't understand why she tries to pretend she's so above-it-all, she can't keep it up.

"I do," you say brightly. "I could cut it right now, even. I'll just burn off the parts you don't need."

You take hold of a lock of hair -

Mai squirms away and turns to scowl at you. You smile politely.

Some people just don't have your level of self-control, it seems.

"My hair's fine like it is, Akane," Mai tells you.

"Oh, you're right, of course," you agree. "It's very pretty. And I suppose a cat owl wouldn't really suit you. You're much more graceful, not to mention faster."

Mai looks away, seeming a little mollified. "And," you add. "More precise."

She looks up at you, surprised and a little wary. You just continue to smile.

You once saw her and Azula playing with throwing knives - you have no idea where they got them from, but it seemed like Mai had more than a little practice with them. Apparently Azula's friends are almost as talented as your Mitsuko, in their own ways.

You beckon Mai back to her spot. "Come on," you say. "I won't mess up your hair. You can trust me, Mai."

She gives you a flat look for a moment longer before sighing and doing as she's told.

Azula has nice friends.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Gardens

After training the next day, you end up meditating in the garden. Azula and Zuko are running around play-fighting, and Ty Lee and Mitsuko are doing cartwheels together. Mother is sitting by the pond, feeding turtleducks. It's a really nice afternoon.

"Akaneee," Ty Lee calls. "Come play with us!"

Ty Lee keeps trying to get you to do cartwheels and flips with her; she really enjoys acrobatics for some reason. You can be reasonably acrobatic during training, but you're wearing a dress now.

You play with Ty Lee anyways, since you being acrobatic while well-dressed is an important skill. (19)
You sit this out, focusing on your meditation instead. (9)

You sigh and smile up at her and Mitsuko. Zuko and Azula dart in between you, laughing, and a servant walks over to speak to Mother.

"Alright," you say, standing up. "I'll just have to be careful not to damage my dress. I hope you can tolerate my clumsiness."

"You won't be clumsy!" Mitsuko says. "You're really graceful, you're like -"

Mother gasps. You turn to look at her, and so do Mitsuko and Ty Lee.

When Mother stands, she has tears in her eyes and a scroll in her hand.

"Azula, Zuko," she calls, her voice shaking. "Come here."

They stop running. Azula walks up next to you, and Zuko approaches Mother.

"Mom?" he asks. "What's wrong?"

You feel like you know already.

"Uncle Iroh has lost his son," Mother says quietly. "Your cousin, Lu Ten, did not survive the battle."

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Fire Nation Royal Palace

He died defending his men from an ambush. You told him to be careful. You told them both to be careful. Apparently they weren't. You told him, specifically, that you didn't care about heroics or history as long as he came home. Now he's being memorialized as a hero.

He didn't listen.

What was the point of his letters if he wasn't going to listen to you? Didn't it mean anything? Did he not care about coming home to his family?

You almost burn the paintings he sent you. You're tempted. Instead, you spend the next morning announcing Lu Ten's death to the world with a thunderstorm.

The sky shouldn't be clear today. It's inappropriate. It's disrespectful.

"Akane?"

Mother's voice interrupts you during training. Judging by the sun, it's around noon.

"Yes, Mother?" you ask.

"Your father has requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon," she says. "You'll need to be in your best clothes -"

"I'm always in my best clothes," you say.

"Alright," Mother says quietly.

You turn to head inside - and stagger a step. Black spots swim across your vision.

"Akane!"

Mother rushes to your side and takes your arm -

"I'm fine!" you snap, straightening back up. "What are you doing?"

"Akane, you nearly fell -"

"You're mistaken." You can stand. You're light-headed, you -

"The use of lightning is taxing on one's chi," Li finally speaks up. The two of them barely said a word all morning.

"Some pain is to be expected, when one tests her limits," Lo adds.

"Limits?" you demand, rounding on her -

Mother catches you as you stagger again. Your vision swims.

"You shouldn't have let her work herself this hard," Mother snaps at them.

"I'm fine," you manage. "Let go of me."

"Let's go inside, Akane," Mother says. "You're pale as a ghost."

"I'm fine!" you repeat, straightening up. "I'm fine, I can walk, I -"

"Akane..."

Your eyes are burning. You can't cry here.

"Let go of me," you repeat. "I need to get dressed."

Mom hesitates for a moment before taking her hands off you. You slowly start to walk back towards the palace. You're a little dizzy. It's fine. You're fine.

Mom walks with you.

"I know you knew him better than Zuko or Azula did," she says quietly. "And I know your letters meant the world to him."

No, they didn't.

Mother puts her hand on your shoulder. You don't respond. You have nothing to say.

* * * * *
Creating lightning requires complete focus. When you're creating lightning, you don't exactly shut out everything around you, not quite - you just put yourself in a mindset where you're above everything else, outside of everything else, just letting it all flow through you. If you let anything affect you or distract you, it would throw you off, make you less efficient, wear you down, even hurt you.

Li and Lo said nothing about your form being off this morning, but now that you've stopped you can feel an ache setting in throughout your entire body. Your stomach and chest and head especially. Your skin feels clammy. You guess it's exhaustion.

You cover it up under make-up without any trouble. When you meet Mother outside your room, you're composed again. You accompany her to go find Zuko and Azula and tell them to get ready for the audience.

You can hear the two of them talking loudly as you approach one of the sitting rooms.

"...Uncle's coming home," Azula is saying.

"Does that mean we won the war?" Zuko asks.

Idiot.

"No," Azula says. "It means Uncle is a loser and a quitter."

Mom makes a noise of disapproval and starts walking faster towards the door up ahead. You don't change your pace.

"He found out his son died and just fell apart," Azula says. "A real general would've stayed and burned Ba Sing Se to the -"

"Azula." Mother cuts her off as she reaches the door. "Zuko. Your Father's requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon. Go get dressed. Best clothes, hurry up."

You step up behind Mother and look in at the two of them. Zuko's holding that stupid knife of his. Azula looks at you, her gaze searching your face. She knows you heard her talking.

You agree with her. Lu Ten deserved to be avenged. Ba Sing Se should've burned. (20)
She's being stupid and bloodthirsty. Lu Ten died trying to bring civilization to Earth Kingdom savages who don't want or deserve it. It's pointless. Lu Ten and Uncle should've come home ages ago. (20)

"They've been fighting to give the Earth Kingdom civilization for years," you tell Azula quietly. Mother and Zuko both look at you as you speak. "And the Earth Kingdom doesn't want it. Uncle should've come home with Lu Ten ages ago."

Azula scoffs -

"But if I were there," you murmur, "I would have torched that entire city for this."

Azula perks up and nods. "Exactly!" she says. "Uncle should've killed five earthbenders for every soldier he lost, and then come home!"

Lu Ten was worth more than five. He was family.

"Azula, Zuko, please," Mother says quietly. "Go get dressed. We have an audience with Fire Lord Azulon soon."

"Fire Lord Azulon," Azula echoes. "Can't you just call him 'grandfather'? He's not exactly the powerful Fire Lord he used to be. Someone will probably end up taking his place soon."

Her eyes meet yours.

"Young lady!" Mother snaps. "Not another word."

Azula darts past her, and is out the door before she can say anything else.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Fire Lord's Audience Chamber

Why is Father doing this?

"...and how was it Great-Grandfather Sozin managed to win the Battle of Han Tui?" he asks.

He is literally wasting the Fire Lord's time. Grandfather doesn't care how educated you are. When you became the youngest lightning-bender of all time, he came out to the training yard to watch you create lightning and just said 'well done'. The Fire Lord does not care about this.

"Great-Grandfather won... because..." Zuko begins.

He doesn't know the answer. Is Father expecting you and Azula to keep stepping in and showing off for him?

Let Father continue this nonsense without your input. (18)
Give grandfather the "I am so sorry for this" look. (18)
Answer the question. (16)

You glance up at the curtain of flame between you and Fire Lord Azulon. You can't make your expression obviously apologetic on your Father's behalf, but...

"Because even though his army was outnumbered, he cleverly calculated his advantages," Azula cuts in. "The enemy was downwind and there was a drought. Their defenses burned to a crisp in minutes."

"Correct, my dear," Father says.

He doesn't call you 'my dear' when you answer things correctly.

"Now, of course, you have seen the results of my eldest's training," Father says. "Azula, would you show Grandfather your new forms, as well?"

Azula jumps to her feet and begins to show off a fairly advanced set. She's flawless as always. She's been working hard to catch back up to you; the gap between the two of you has opened back up since you got out from under Master Kunyo's stifling tutelage, and not only because you've learned to create lightning. She's still catching up, but not as fast. You're not learning as slow anymore.

But as much as you can admire your sister's skill, this demonstration is still pointless.

"She's a true prodigy," Father crows as she finishes. "Just like her grandfather for whom she is named."

Why is he doing this? What does he want so badly from Grandfather?

Azula sits back down next to Zuko. You think you hear her whisper something to him.

Zuko stands up. You stare at him.

"I'd like to demonstrate what I've been learning," he declares.

Is he joking?

Remind Zuko of what you've tried to teach him. (20)
Say nothing. (6)

"Where does your fire come from?" you whisper under your breath. Zuko glances back at you. You meet his gaze impassively.

After a second, he nods.

Zuko starts a similar routine to Azula - a simpler form than she did, but rather advanced for him. He's actually fairly decent at it, as far as the physical motions go. But he's not producing as much fire as he should be.

He tries a leaping fire blast and ends up stumbling and falling with a grunt. You hold back a sigh. You suppose you can't fix everything just by giving people instructions.

Like you needed to be reminded of that.

Zuko takes a deep breath and looks back at you. Your expression doesn't change.

He picks himself off the floor and takes a running jump -

A gout of flame bursts from his foot as he kicks. You see his eyes go wide with shock the moment it happens. The landing looks painful, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"I did it!" he exclaims, turning to grin at you. Mother rushes over to his side, already congratulating him and making sure he's okay. You blink at them.

It wasn't an especially impressive fireball, but it was firebending.

Huh.

"Prince Ozai, why are you wasting my time with this pomp?" Fire Lord Azulon cuts in. "Just tell me what you want! Everyone else, go!"

Azula is on her feet before you are. When you glance at her, she already has her back to you. You guess you'll have to patch that up soon, apparently. You helped Zuko, and now you have to reassure Azula. Like always.

You follow Mother and Zuko out of the audience chamber. Azula follows behind you, but Zuko's excited 'thank you's distract you from checking on how Azula is reacting.

By the time you're outside and finally free to speak to her, she's nowhere to be seen.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Gardens

That evening, after extricating yourself from Zuko's attentions and newfound enthusiasm for firebending practice, you go to your favorite place in the Royal Gardens to meditate. You focus on the flow of energy through your body, just like Lu Ten said Uncle recommended.

You don't know why you bother listening to him when obviously he didn't listen to you.

You guess it was good advice, though. With your body still aching from the lightning you created this morning, you think you can feel where the energy was flowing - it's all the places that hurt the most. Your stomach and chest are the worst. It makes sense in part; the stomach is the source of the body's energy, and you taxed it heavily today. But the chest... you didn't push your heart rate too far, it wasn't that sort of exercise. You're not certain what the chest has to do with the flow of chi through the body.

As you relax further and let yourself focus completely on the flow of chi through your body, you begin to think that maybe there's a great deal you don't understand about chi yet. The stomach is the main significant location you know of, but it doesn't seem like it's the only location where energy really pools in your body. It's hard to tell on your first try, but your experience with lightning and meditation gives you a good instinct for this, you think, and it certainly feels like energy is much more distributed throughout your body than you might have expected. It feels like -

You hear a tiny footstep behind you. Azula. Something about the sound tells you it's her. She's trying to be quiet. She takes another step closer, and another. Probably going to try to scare you by grabbing your shoulder.

You are not in the mood for her constant attempts to get a reaction out of you right now.

Greet Azula. (27)
"I'm really not in the mood for games little sister." (10)
Just ignore Azula completely until she actually speaks to you. Let her frustrate herself as much as she wants. (8)
+"I *almost* didn't hear you there for a second. Nicely done." (6)
Pretend to be surprised when Azula does whatever she's going to do. It'll suck the fun out of it for her. (5)

"Good evening, Azula," you greet her, not opening your eyes. You hear her make a tiny, surprised noise - it's definitely Azula. But she doesn't answer.

Her footsteps come closer, until she's right behind you. You keep your eyes closed, content to focus on your meditation until she speaks.

And then you feel a knife's edge against your cheek.

There's no pressure. No pain. Just a knife, resting against your cheek.

Your expression doesn't change. The knife doesn't move.

Don't give her any reaction at all. That's what she wants. (19)
Just sigh. "You stole Zuko's knife, didn't you?" (3)
Take the knife from her. (2)
"Come sit with me." (2)
Ask her what she's doing. (1)

You're not going to play her game tonight. Your expression doesn't change. Your breathing doesn't quicken. You ignore her.

You know your little sister is no danger to you.

The knife stays against that cheek for a moment longer before shifting to your other cheek. It presses in just slightly harder this time, but still not enough to cut you.

You ignore her.

Azula steps around you, and moves the knife higher - you feel it ghosting over your skin, close to your eye. You would describe it as dangerously close, if not for the fact Azula was holding it. When you ignore that as well, she moves the knife down and holds the edge against your lips. You can feel your breath against it.

You continue to meditate. The energy flows through your body, and although it pools mainly in your stomach you think you can sense other locations where it stops and pools; maybe with time you could narrow it down. It may be useful; Uncle likely knew about it when he recommended you meditate on this.

The knife moves down to your throat. You think you can feel Azula's tension through the blade; she's holding it stiffly.

You remain perfectly relaxed.

The flow of energy through your body does seem to be centered around a sort of central column; from the top of your head down to your stomach and farther, all the way to the base of your spine. Maybe if you meditate on this more you can -

The knife nicks the skin of your neck. Just a tiny cut. It stings.

Azula makes a little noise in surprise. You don't.

If this was a game, you won.

Azula withdraws the knife. And, after a moment, she kicks you in the chest.

Knock her down. (19)
*Continue* to ignore her. Make her address you if she wants your attention. (1)

You keep still as she kicks you, and don't let your expression change. She kicks you a second time, and you hold still as you listen and feel her move.

The third time she lifts her foot off the ground, you bring your hand up off your lap to catch her ankle. You tilt your head out of the way as you pull her leg sharply up and forwards, and as she overbalances you let go and return your hand to your lap.

Azula lands on her back in front of you with a grunt. The leg you yanked on to overbalance her kicks you a bit as she scrambles backwards.

You don't open your eyes. You're not in the mood for this.

You listen as Azula picks herself up off the ground, ready to knock her down again and pin her if need be. She makes a frustrated noise, and you lean backwards on instinct. It's a good call. You feel the air as her hand swishes through the space in front of you.

"Akane!" Azula snaps.

Ask her if something's wrong. Open your eyes. (22)

Open your eyes and say nothing. (1)
Ask her if something's wrong. Don't open your eyes. (0)

The moment you open your eyes, you can see this isn't just a game. Azula looks... distraught. Angry. Afraid. Both her hands are balled up in white-knuckled fists, and in one of them she's clutching Zuko's knife.

"Is everything alright, dearest sister?" you ask quietly.

Azula's face twists with nothing less than rage.

"What's wrong with you?" she demands. "Is that how you plan to fight off assassins? Just sit there and let them stab you?"

Something is very wrong.

Tell Azula you saw no reason to be afraid, since you knew it was her. (23)
+"You're my sister Azula, you're the last person I have to worry about hurting me." (18)
"Do you want me to show you how I plan on fighting off assassins?" (8)
Tell Azula that she knows full well how deadly you could be if you needed to. (3)
Tell Azula that you simply weren't in the mood for her games tonight. (0)

"I knew it was you, Azula," you say. "I saw no reason to be afraid. I didn't realize you were testing my ability to handle assassins."

"You shouldn't have assumed you were safe!" Azula snaps. "Are you stupid? You should never let anyone threaten you! You should be on your guard! You're supposed to be a princess, not a weakling!"

"You're my sister, Azula," you say quietly. "You're the last person in the world I have to worry about hurting me."

Azula makes another frustrated noise. You catch her hand when she swings at you.

You don't know what she's doing, but this is not just a game.

"Azula," you say firmly. "What is going on?"

She yanks her fist out of your grip and turns away. She's quiet for a long moment. When she turns back to face you, she has something approaching a smile on her face. There's no mirth in it.

"Father's going to kill you," she says.

You're quiet for a moment.

"What do you mean?" you ask, voice neutral.

Azula glares at you like you're dumber than Zuko. "I mean what I said!" she snaps. "Father's going to kill you."

You have a feeling you don't quite recognize in your gut.

"What did you hear?" you ask quietly. "And when?"

"In the throne room after you all left," Azula says, looking down. "Father asked Grandfather to make him heir instead of Uncle." Spirits, right after Lu Ten... "Grandfather got furious and said, 'you must know the pain of losing a firstborn child, by sacrificing your own' -"

"Firstborn child?" you ask quickly. "Those were his exact words?"

"Yes!" Azula snaps. "I heard exactly what he said!"

"What did he mean by 'sacrifice'?" you demand.

"Why aren't you getting this? He meant kill you!"

"What were his exact words?"

Azula takes half a step back. You raised your voice. You didn't mean to raise your voice, you never raise your voice at her.

"His exact words were 'you must know the pain of losing a firstborn child, by sacrificing your own,'" she recites, glaring at you. "'Go, get out of my sight until you're done -'"

"That doesn't sound like Fire Lord Azulon -" you cut her off.

"I had to get out once he told Father to go!" Azula snaps. "It was hard to hear anything he said after 'go'! He told Father to get out of his sight until the deed was done and he was ready to bring your body -"

"My body, or just -"

"Why won't you take this seriously?" Azula demands, nearly shouting. "He's going to kill you! If you were there you would know that's what he meant!"

You jump to your feet, surprising even yourself. Azula backs up another step.

"Thank you for warning me, little sister," you say. Your voice sounds like it's coming from far away.

"What are you going to do?" Azula demands. "Grandfather can't do this, you should go to Father and -"

"- and what?" you ask.

"And fight Grandfather!" Azula finishes. "Father could beat him! Then he can be Fire Lord and he won't have to kill you -"

"And Uncle could beat Father," you mutter.

"No, Uncle is just a stupid -"

"- Uncle killed a dragon, Azula!" you snap. "Father isn't invincible and he's not the heir!"

"So you're just going to sit here and die?" Azula demands.

"I'm not going to die," you say automatically.

"How?"

You don't answer her. You're thinking. If Grandfather is angry at Father and wants to make him pay for daring to request the throne, that makes sense, but - you're the youngest lightning-bender in history, how could he just throw you away? How could anyone still think you're disposable? Did he really say firstborn child? It would make sense if he said firstborn son, nobody wants Zuko to be Fire Lord, getting rid of him would just be killing two birds with one stone it would be strengthening the dynasty and you know that's all that Fire Lord Azulon cares about, he doesn't care about your family aside from that he's barely ever spoken to you -

"Akane!" Azula snaps. "What are you going to do?"

- but it doesn't make any sense for them to want you dead, you're the perfect heir and you're more important than ever with Lu Ten gone you'll probably be the Fire Lord after whichever one of Fire Lord Azulon's sons comes next. Grandfather would never have you killed that wouldn't make any sense and your Father would never, ever go along with it, he would never -

"Akane!"

"Are you sure he didn't say 'firstborn son'?" you ask quietly.

Azula shoves you. You stumble back a step.

"Snap out of it!" Azula demands. "You have to fight!"

Fighting isn't an option. Not for you personally. You're still exhausted from this morning, you doubt you could produce lightning at all right now. You'd need lightning to stand a chance against Grandfather or Father. You wouldn't stand a chance anyways, but you'd need lightning.

Would Father actually kill you if the Fire Lord ordered him to? He wouldn't. But it would be treason not to. Would Father commit treason for you, if you went to him to plead your case?

That feeling in your stomach gets worse.

"I'm thinking," you say.

"Think faster," Azula urges, glaring up at you.

The number of people who would commit treason for you isn't very long. Azula, apparently, but she's a child. Mitsuko probably would. Also a child.

Mother. Mother thinks you're a homosexual and is concealing it. That's treason. A lower level of treason than opposing a direct order from the Fire Lord to kill you, maybe, but still treason. You could go to her. Maybe she'd care. Maybe she'd know what to do. Maybe she could tell you. Maybe she could help you. Mothers are supposed to do that, aren't they?

If Uncle was here, or Lu Ten...

But they're not. You have to do something. Anything. You know your sister; Azula isn't joking.

Go directly to Fire Lord Azulon himself. (27)
"Whatever happens next, I love you little sister." (25)
+ Take the knife from Azula. (24)
Go to Mother for help. (7)
Go to Father. (7)
Get out of the palace. Go to Mitsuko's family's home in the Capital City. (3)

You can't go to Father, not if there's any chance he might... And Mother can't help you.

You step forward and pull Azula into a tight hug. She makes a noise of protest, shoving you back. You allow her to.

"You need to -"

Azula goes quiet as you kneel in front of her and take her hands.

"Azula," you say quietly. "Thank you for warning me."

She glares at you. You can see her eyes shining.

"You need to do something," she orders you.

"I will," you promise.

You reach up and brush your fingers through her hair, the way Mother's occasionally brushed her fingers through yours. Azula holds very still.

"Whatever happens tonight," you say, "Please know that I love you, little sister. Never forget that."

Azula swallows. She doesn't say anything, but she nods. You pull her into another tight hug, and this time she doesn't shove you away.

You stand up and kiss her forehead. "What are you going to do?" she mumbles.

"May I have the knife, Azula?" you murmur back.

Azula looks up at you, wide-eyed, but holds out the knife to you. You take it and slip it up your sleeve.

You have no idea what you're going to do with it.

"Please go and rest in your room, Azula," you instruct her. Your voice is confident. There's no reason to be otherwise. "I'm not certain what will happen tonight, but I want you to remain safe and blameless. Alright, little sister?"

"But I can help you," she protests quietly. "I'm as good at firebending as you are."

Ha. Not quite. And neither of you are good enough at firebending for it to make a difference against Father or Grandfather. It's almost funny to think of, you standing and fighting one of them in an Agni Kai. They'd incinerate you. Wouldn't need to bother with cremation afterwards.

"You've already helped me as much as is needed," you answer, reaching out to stroke her hair again. "I'll come get you if I need anything else, alright? For now, what I need most is for you to stay safe while I gather more information."

"But -"

"Azula," you insist. "Please. I need you to be safe. Whatever happens, I need to know that you're safe." Because you have no idea what you're doing and it'll be easier to handle it if Azula is safely clear of... whatever happens. "Please, wait in your room. I'll come to tell you once I've settled things or once I need more help from you."

Azula hesitates.

"Promise?" she mumbles.

"I promise."

Azula yields. You walk her part of the way to her room, acting natural around the servants and guards you pass, before splitting up.

And then, after a moment's indecision, you set off for the Fire Lord's wing of the palace.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Palace: Fire Lord's Chambers

There are Imperial Firebenders stationed at the entrance to Fire Lord Azulon's wing of the Palace. You incline your head to them as you approach, intending to just walk past -

"The Fire Lord has stated he will not be taking visitors this evening, Princess," one of the Imperial Firebenders states.

Ask them to formally request our Grandfather to give us an audience. It's of some urgency, as he will probably know. (25)
Try to find a way to sneak in. (6)

You need to speak to Grandfather to understand what's going on here. Turning back isn't an option.

"I would like to request an audience," you say. "It's a matter of some urgency. He may even be expecting me."

"All the same, Princess Akane, Fire Lord Azulon expressly stated that he will see no one but Prince Ozai tonight," the guard states.

Your father. He wants to see your father tonight, but according to Azula he doesn't want to see your father until 'the deed is done', which means...

"Perhaps you could deliver my request to him, and let him decide," you suggest.

"The Fire Lord is not to be disturbed by anyone except Prince Ozai tonight," the guard repeats. "He made it expressly clear that there were to be no exceptions. Forgive me, Princess."

You feel your breath heating. Do they all think they can just shut you out of their decisions regarding your life? Are you going to be foiled just by a guard who has orders that you should be ignored?

Try to intimidate the guard to let you in. (23)
Try to find a way to sneak in. (13)
Insist that it is a matter of life or death. (8)
Force your way in. (3)

You let a bit of annoyance slip into your expression. It's not difficult. You fix the guard with your stare, and you're satisfied to note his own gaze wavers.

"I am well aware that Fire Lord Azulon is waiting for news from my Father," you say. "That is why I am here. I apologize if my Father's actions have caused you confusion, but he has tasked me with giving the Fire Lord an urgent message that he is waiting for and I must insist that I be allowed to do so."

The guard hesitates.

"We can deliver his message -"

"Prince Ozai told me to give his message to no one but the Fire Lord," you cut him off. "I will either deliver this message to the Fire Lord himself, or I will return to my father and inform him that the guards were too busy enforcing their narrow understanding of Fire Lord Azulon's wishes to bother considering the consequences of delaying both the Fire Lord and the Prince in their urgent work. Now, either allow me to deliver my message to the Fire Lord or allow me to hurry to Prince Ozai and tell him that he must come here personally rather than sending his heir. I have no more time to waste."

The guard breaks eye contact with you and glances at his counterpart.

You've got him.

"I apologize for the delay, Princess," he says, opening the door for you.

Surrender your hidden knife before entering. (37)
Keep your knife hidden. (6)

Before walking in, you pause and pull Zuko's knife from where you've hidden it in your dress.

"Hold onto this," you instruct the guard. "I do not wish to show the Fire Lord disrespect."

Before he can answer, you sweep past him and into your Grandfather's wing of the Palace. He shuts the door behind you. You don't see any guards in the halls as you walk down them; Grandfather must have ordered them to give him privacy. Even at his age, he's probably still powerful enough to see little need for them.

The ache of chi exhaustion reminds you that you have precious few weapons left to you.

You can see the flicker of candlelight coming from the Fire Lord's private study. When you slip into the room -

It's a mess.

Books and scrolls and papers are scattered across the floor. The flickering you saw from the hallway wasn't just from candlelight; much of what lies on the floor has been scorched, and some of it is still burning. There's a long blackened streak across the floor and up the walls, distinct enough to make it easy to imagine the blast of flame that created it. A few bottles of ink are overturned and scattered throughout the room, and their contents have soaked through tomes that were probably worth a fortune.

One of the ruined sheets of paper on the floor is a portrait of Lu Ten. You recognize his eyes, his cheekbones. It's hard to tell exactly when the portrait was made, since his nose and mouth and jaw and everything below have been reduced to ash.

You slowly look up at the Fire Lord. Your Grandfather. He's hunched over one of the tables, propping himself up with both hands, staring at a scroll that's slowly burning away around his fingertips. The candles next to him are blazing dangerously high.

And before you can consider your actions, the Fire Lord looks up at you. His face is drawn and pale, his skin splotchy with age. His eyes narrow as he sees you.

"You," he spits.

"Fire Lord Azulon," you begin -

"He sent you, didn't he?" he asks quietly. The candles next to him flare brighter. Damn it. "Always a coward. My 'humble servant', he says. Does he think I became Fire Lord by being blind? Does he think I can't see what he plots behind my back? Behind Iroh's back?"

"Your Highness -" you try -

"What did he tell you?" Grandfather demands. "What did he promise you? Or did you volunteer, hm? Are you as much a coward as he is? Always plotting, scheming for my throne, as though he's half the man his brother is! Does he think Iroh will simply lay down and die? My son, the Dragon of the West, defeated by a coward? Never!"

You resist the urge to back up a step as Azulon steps around the desk. His eyes look they're looking through you, past you.

"He dishonors my heir," he growls. "He spreads his rumors, has me called 'senile' in the court. Old. Weak. He's behind it all. Idiot. The traitors who favor him only think he'd be an easier puppet to control than a true Fire Lord. They'll all meet the same end when my son returns. Iroh was a fool to ever counsel mercy. His only weakness. He'll see the truth soon enough. No Fire Lord ascends without blood."

He is not speaking coherently. The Fire Lord is not speaking coherently.

"The Avatar's blood is traitorous," Azulon mutters, looking away. "I should have known. The Fire Sages will pay for this. Ozai should have accepted his punishment with grace. He should have chosen loyalty. Then he could have been spared. A life for a life. I expected him to take the trade, the coward. Now I see. His treachery runs deeper than I dared imagine."

He's not even looking at you. You could -

His head whirls around, his gaze finally locking on you.

"Are you here to beg?" he asks. "Or to die trying to kill me?"

Say that you came to ask why he wanted you killed. (40)
+ Tell him Father never spoke to us. We snuck in and overheard Father ask for the throne. (25)
Say that you came here to mourn Lu Ten with him. (26)
Say you came to reaffirm your loyalty to the Fire Lord and his rightful heir Prince Iroh. (2)
Say that you came to warn him about your Father's treachery. (2)
+ Take your first chance to flee from the room. (0)

You draw yourself up and look him in the eye. You're still a princess. You're still royalty.

"I came here to ask you why you wanted me killed, your Highness," you tell him. Respectfully.

His eyes go wide. Frenzied. You hold still.

"You dare?" he hisses. "You dare question the Fire Lord? Is Ozai too much a coward to face me himself? He dares insult me by sending a child in his place?"

"I can't speak to my father's demeanor," you say quietly, "But he didn't send me or speak to me. I overheard you give the order in the throne room."

You told Azula that you wanted her to stay safe and blameless, whatever happened.

"I should have known," Grandfather hisses, looking away from you again. "Spies in the throne room. Ozai's wretched minions are everywhere. They'll only grow bolder now, now that..." His face twists. "Lu Ten," he gasps. "Lu Ten, my grandson..."

His voice trails off into something inarticulate. He staggers a few steps away, catching himself on a bookcase.

"Iroh's line has ended," he mumbles. "Ozai has won. Why? Why was I so blind? Treason in my own palace. How long has he plotted against me? Against my son? But without an heir, what can I do but... no, no, no..."

You hold very still as flames begin to spring up around Fire Lord Azulon's hands, slowly spreading across the bookcase.

'He's not exactly the powerful firebender he used to be,' Azula had said. 'Someone will probably end up replacing him soon.'

...What did she hear?

Fire Lord Azulon laughs suddenly.

"Do you think I'm a fool?" he spits, looking at the wall. "Do you think the Dragon of Earth and Sea will suffer treason in his palace? No, no, your suffering has only just begun. If Iroh will be left childless, so will you! Iroh has life in him yet, there will be more children, more heirs - but not for you. Give the woman to Iroh, a proper Dragon will tame her treachery, and then... yes. Yes, there will be a reckoning for this. There must be a purge. A coward is never so bold without the strength of numbers behind him. There must be a purge."

You still haven't moved. Your mind is still catching up to what you're seeing, what you're hearing.

The Fire Lord is mad. How long has he been mad? Did your presence provoke him?

He's going to kill your family. That's what he said, isn't it? A purge.

He's going to leave your father childless.

Azulon has his back to you. He seems like he's forgotten you're there. If you run now you could... but who would you go to? Father? Mother? You should -

He whirls around before you can make a decision.

"You!" he spits.

He lunges at you.

His hands are still burning.

Focus on shielding your skin from the flame. (28)
Focus on running. (1)

Reflex and training take over. Since you were old enough to firebend at all, you've been drilled to suppress any flame that approached your skin.

The fact that the flame is coating the Fire Lord's hands is beside the point.

Azulon's hands latch onto your throat like a vise, bony fingers digging into your skin. The flame's fighting you, heat trying to eat at your skin. Smoke and fire are leaping up from his hands and wrists, choking your vision - all you can see is the haze of fire and black smoke and the blurry outline of your Grandfather's twisted face behind it, you can't breathe -

Firebending comes from the breath, Uncle always said.

You lash out with a punch at Azulon's throat -

and can't reach. You can't reach. He's too much taller than you are. You grab onto what you can reach, try to pry his fingers off your neck - they slowly start to give but it's not enough, his thumbs are blocking your air and you can't keep this fire from burning you forever -

You're going to die.

"- treasonous filth, polluting my palace, coveting my throne -"

You kick him between his legs, and this time you hit your mark. Azulon grunts in pain and his grip slackens. You twist out of his hands and gasp for air - and he takes a deep breath, too.

Dragon.

You hear the wall behind you splinter as you dive for the floor. The roar of flames fills your ears; the heat hits your back like a physical blow. You smell burning hair. The room's a blur of black and red as you whirl around; you kick on reflex as hard as you can -

Crack.

Azulon cries out as he drops to a knee. Brittle bones. You scramble to your feet as he turns around, his arm swings wildly up and back but you lunge forward inside his reach as fire sprays through the room, you're behind him you have one chance -

- you grab him in a chokehold. (36)
- you stab him with a hairpin. (31)
- you shove him and run. (17)
- you punch him. (10)

Your arms loop around him before you can think about it. You cut your hand on the Fire Lord's headpiece as you tighten your grip. You can barely see what you're doing, smoke fills the whole room, but you can smell burning hair and feel Grandfather's hands scrabbling at your wrists - you can't let go, he stopped firebending so you think it's working you just need to knock him out -

After a moment Grandfather's hands let go. There's a faint blue glow before his hands clamp back down on your wrists.

The world goes white.

You're on your back. Your muscles are screaming. Your throat hurts. All you see is smoke and fire.

"Traitors... cowards... my own palace..."

You can't see where his voice is coming from. It hurts to lift your head. Everything's burning. Some of your hair is on fire. You can smell it. You cough weakly as you inhale.

Where are the guards?

Fire Lord Azulon is hunched over just a few feet away from you, looking at something on the floor. Does he think you're dead? You should be, if that was lightning. Maybe it was weaker than real lightning, he did it so fast. Are you dying? Everything hurts.

If you move, he'll kill you. Your eyes are heavy. Where is everyone? Father? Mother? Azula?

You need to do something, but if you move, he'll kill you. He'll kill you. You're already dead anyways, you committed treason.

No.

You're not going to die. You will not die.

You shift your legs, try to move your arms. You can move. Barely. You think your sleeves are on fire. You don't have the strength to fight anymore, but Grand- Azulon thinks you're dead. You need a plan. You need to think. Think. Azula's waiting for you, if she's not asleep, she might be asleep because she falls asleep early, she's a light sleeper though and in the morning you can meditate with her talk about -

Focus. You're losing consciousness. You're not thinking coherently.

The roof above you creaks and cracks as it sags. You don't have time.

Try to lure Azulon under the sagging roof. (30)
Try to sneak close enough to stab Azulon. (6)
Make an attempt at a lightning bolt. (4)
Try to quietly crawl out of the room. (3)

You're not helpless. The room is on your side.

Breathe. Your throat hurts but the smoke isn't that thick, you can breathe, you need to breathe. Put out the fire around you, on your clothes, in your hair. Your wrists are burned and your hair is ruined but that's fine. You're alive. At the moment. Your chest hurts.

That roof is sagging more. You need to move.

You start to inch to the side, slowly, painfully. Your muscles hurt. You push through it. No room for hesitation or thought. If you stop you think your eyes will shut and you'll probably die. Have to move.

You don't care if it's treason. The Fire Lord isn't going to kill you.

It takes an agonizingly long time for you to inch out from under the part of the roof that looks like it's about to collapse. It's probably only been a minute. Or less. It feels longer while you're fighting just to stay awake. You think you see a table or something weighing down on the part of the roof that's falling in. That's good.

Now you just need to get him to come over here.

"Grandfather," you croak. "Grandfather."

You've never called him 'Grandfather' before in your life.

"Lu Ten?" Azulon whispers, turning. He scrabbles across the floor towards the sound of your voice, eyes unseeing. "Lu Ten, you live?"

You'll probably never call him 'Grandfather' again.

Concentrate. Breathe.

The fire above you grows brighter.

"Lu Ten?" Azulon whispers. "Grandson? Are you here?"

He looks down and locks eyes with you. His face twists.

The ceiling collapses.

You were right. There was a table up there. You only catch a glimpse of it as you turn and scrabble away from Azulon, but from the blast of heat behind you it seems like he spends the instant before impact breathing fire at you rather than at the debris raining down on him.

You hear rather than see the result.

You don't look back as you crawl out of the study. The entire room is falling down around you. A piece of wood lands heavily on your back and knocks you flat, but somehow you manage to drag yourself the rest of the way out of the room even as your vision swims with black spots. You drag yourself as far from the room as you can before finally collapsing in the hallway. You don't know where you are. You haven't spent much time in this wing of the Palace.

You try to rest and keep your eyes from closing at the same time. It's very difficult. Your vision is dark enough that you can't always tell whether your eyes are open at all.

It takes you a few moments to realize you're not the only one laying on the floor here. There's a guard laying near you. Unmoving.

A long shadow passes over both of you. You just barely manage to lift your head to see the source.

Father is here.

* * * * *
He's silent.

You push weakly against the ground, trying to stand. You can't look weak in front of Father. Even now, that thought is clear.

"Father," you rasp. "Father, Fire Lord Azulon -"

"Is he dead?" Father interrupts.

You look up at him. Your sight is still blurry. His face is indistinct; a mass of shadow.

"I don't know," you whisper.

He steps past you.

"Father?" you ask.

His footsteps are moving away. The arm you're propping yourself up on gives out; you fall unceremoniously back to the floor.

"Father," you whisper. "Father, please."

Your vision swims with black spots. You don't hear a footstep for a moment. You're not sure if it's because you're losing consciousness. The footsteps are back when your vision clears. You manage to look up in time to see your Father carefully step into the wreckage of the study.

You hear the crackle of fire from the room, but nothing else.

You keep trying to pick yourself up off the floor. You can't. It's like all the strength has drained from your body. You feel wetness on your face and you're not sure whether it's blood. Everything in you aches to fall asleep.

You've just barely managed to push yourself onto your knees by the time Father returns. He looks down at you and you look up at him. You mouth the word 'Father' but your voice fails you.

No one would stand for your Father to take the throne if his daughter killed the Fire Lord, you realize. For him to take the throne, it would have had to have been an outside assassin who killed Azulon. That guard was dead.

You're the only witness.

Your Father would never hurt you.

"Father," you say.

He doesn't move. Doesn't speak. His face is blurry. You can barely see him.

You're the only witness.

Say nothing. Gather your resolve. (39)
Tell him he's welcome. (31)
Tell your Father you'll never speak of tonight again. You swear it. You want him to be Fire Lord. (27)
Tell your Father you need help. You'll die if you don't get help soon. (24)
Tell your Father Azula knows everything. He'd have to kill her too. (4)

There's nothing to say. If you die in the 'assassination', there are no witnesses to threaten Father. And it may even seem more convincing, if he lost his own precious firstborn in the tragedy.

You look up at Father, and he looks down. Neither of you speak.

No. This isn't right.

You look away from Father, down at the floor. You plant your hands against the ground, and not in supplication. You get one foot under you, and then you push.

It hurts.

Your muscles scream in protest. Your head swims. You hear yourself whimper. Black spots are all you can see. You keep going. Even as your awareness fades in and out, even as you feel your hands leave the floor and wonder distantly whether you're even still upright, you keep pushing. It's simple muscle memory rather than anything else that makes your other foot move.

For a moment, your vision clears enough for you to look Father in the eye. He's still above you, but not as far. His face is stoic, but you see something in his eyes that you can't identify.

And then your head swims, the world spins, and you're falling again. Father doesn't catch you. You feel the pain of the impact from far away.

"Guards!" you hear, loud and commanding. "Guards! There are assassins in the palace! My daughter is wounded! Guards, to me!"

And, at last, your vision fades to black.

* * * * *
95 AC (13 years old)
Royal Palace Grand Promenade

"Azulon," the sage decrees. "Fire Lord to our nation for seventy-five years."

How many years had it been since madness took him?

"You were our fearless leader in the Battle of Garsai. Our matchless conqueror of the Hu Xin Provinces."

A table killed him.

"You were father of Iroh, father of Ozai, husband of Ilah, now passed. Grandfather of Lu Ten, now passed."

'Grandfather. Grandfather.'

"Grandfather of Akane, of Zuko, of Azula."

Zuko is standing to your left, between you and Azula, and Mother is standing on your right; for the funeral, like all important ceremonies, you stand in order of age. Azula keeps glancing at you. She's fidgeting. She argued with Mother for ages before the ceremony, demanding that you stand in the middle instead of Zuko. Father eventually snapped at her to be silent.

"We lay you to rest."

You watch as a pair of sages set Azulon's coffin ablaze with their bending. With all the incense in the air, you can't even smell him burning.

The burns on your wrist and neck are still healing. Your hair is cut unfashionably short.

Azulon is being reduced to ash.

You suppose you fared better than anyone else who's ever fought him, really.

"As was your final wish," the Fire Sage continues, "You are now succeeded by your second son."

He places Fire Lord's headpiece in Father's topknot. Your fingers trace the cut on your palm. It was surprisingly deep.

The headpiece, of course, is spotless now.

"All hail Fire Lord Ozai!" the sage calls.

Father stands, and everyone kneels. Your head bowed, you look up at Father's back. He is immaculate in his white mourning robes. Stainless.

You're not a fool. You're not blind. You're not willfully ignorant, or naive. He let you live, but not without hesitation.

You're a loose end. If he comes to regret letting you live...

You wouldn't let Fire Lord Azulon kill you, and you won't let Fire Lord Ozai kill you, either.

You are Akane, older sister of Azula and Zuko, and now Crown Princess of the Fire Nation.

And you fear, someday, you are going to kill your father.

kosm · Sep 15, 2018

With this post, the story is caught up to the quest. I'll continue to post updates as the quest continues; they'll usually be a few shorter sections at a time, not full chapters. Thank you for reading!

---

Chapter 4: Sunrise Mirage

96 AC (14 years old)

The months that follow Father's coronation teach you more about politics than any tutor ever has.

Fire Lord Azulon, you learn, was tragically assassinated by spies from the Earth Kingdom. Allowed into the Palace by a traitor within the guard, the assassins swiftly incapacitated you and left you for dead before turning on the Fire Lord. They had overwhelming numbers and surprise on their side, and after a brutal struggle that killed all but three of the Fire Lord's personal guard, they managed to mortally wound Azulon before fleeing when then-Prince Ozai joined the fray. After his coronation, your Father swiftly hunts down the traitors who conspired to assassinate the Fire Lord. Two noblemen of middling power are eventually identified as ringleaders in the plot. One of them signs a confession in prison. Both are executed.

It comes as something of a shock to the capital. The conspirators had always seemed so loyal to Azulon, and to Iroh. But the evidence against them, of course, is ironclad.

The Royal Palace bustles with constant activity in the wake of the transition. The number of guards on hand inflates to an absurd degree; your home practically becomes a military base in and of itself. Some generals and admirals never seem to leave, and others refuse to attend Father's court at all. You quickly gather that everyone is waiting to hear from your Uncle, to see whether he will challenge Ozai's claim or accept it.

But the months pass, and no word from Uncle ever arrives.

The court eventually admits that it seems no one even knows where he is. Some suspect that he came to an ignominious death after he quit the field and started wandering on his own. Some suggest that he welcomed death. Or chose it. Father, and those loyal to him, seem to favor the latter theory. And over time, the court's consensus seems to solidify in agreement: your Uncle committed suicide.

You don't know what to believe.

In Uncle's absence, any uncertainty around Father's rule seems to just slowly dissipate. There are some officials who simply retire; Admiral Katsu of the Eastern Fleet, Commander Yon Rha of the Southern Raiders. But Father's rule ultimately passes unchallenged.

And yet he still manages to have little time for you. He attends your training sometimes, but Azula is there as well and receives the majority of his attention. At least he doesn't have as many harsh words for you, he just... he doesn't seem to have anything to say to you at all. He just watches you. There's less disdain in his gaze, now, as there should be - you're the perfect heir, the perfect firebender, the perfect Crown Princess. But he doesn't seem proud of you, either. He doesn't act like he is. Whenever he sees you now, he stays as stoic and unreadable as he was when he found you that night, after Azulon's death. And there's apparently nothing you can do about it.

Still. It's no excuse to be idle. Now that you're Crown Princess, there's no more room for you to slack off or accept your imperfections. You have to be perfect, both in firebending and in your grasp of politics. Your practice with firebending continues at the fastest pace you can manage, of course, and in addition to that you dedicate yourself to getting some beginning experience in politics by...

...spending more time studying the war and attending war councils when possible. The military is the most important arena in Fire Nation politics. (27)
...delving into mercantile affairs, using your personal allowance to purchase some business assets and begin making an independent financial base for yourself. (25)
...working to win the friendship and confidence of the other young noblewomen of the court. It's a harmless pursuit, and one expected of a young princess; you want to grow your influence without ever seeming to try. (22)

* * * * *

96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace War Room

With Ba Sing Se unconquered, the war doesn't look like it will be ending momentarily anymore. So the Crown Princess must be knowledgeable about such things. Everything revolves around war. Father doesn't object to you attending some of his war councils, as long as you remain utterly silent, so you take full advantage of these opportunities when you can.

The meetings are almost boring.

"...and when their lines break, the thirty-first will move into the town," High General Bujing says. "Our scouts' reports suggest the populace is composed as much of refugees as natives, and their stores of food are all but depleted. With the pass blocked by the thirty-fourth, they'll have nowhere to flee. The two divisions will meet in a pincer movement and kill the remaining soldiers to the last man, and the nearby Mo Ce Road will let us quickly ship the villagers to the mines in the west. They will have no strength to resist."

It's always like this. Old generals, long since retired from the field, seeming inordinately excited as they imagine the next conquest to be won.

"Very good," Father says. "How much manpower do we anticipate acquiring from the town?"

"Our reports indicate the town currently has near a thousand people in it," the High General answers. "Some will likely be lost in the process of moving them to the mines." He looks to War Minister Qin, who's writing something while working an abacus.

"If the entire population is moved West, and roughly a third of them survive and are capable of work," the War Minister says, "Governor Masaru should have sufficient manpower to open another two mine shafts. The additional steel production -"

"Would be unacceptably low," Father interrupts quietly. "The town is a valuable asset precisely because it contains nearly a thousand people. Wasting two-thirds of that asset would be treasonously incompetent."

"I will ensure my commanders are appraised of that fact, your Highness," High General Bujing says.

"And I will revise my projections of our steel production," War Minister Qin says.

"Good."

Using the conquered for labor has always been a practice of the Fire Nation, but Father has made a policy of greatly intensifying it. His contribution to the war effort isn't so much a matter of tactics or strategy. As accomplished as your Father is, he has no real military experience; he spent his time as a scribe and a liaison to the merchant houses. What he contributes to the war effort is a strong grasp of economics, a firm belief in the value of new technology, and a willingness to treat the conquered as the expendable assets they are. You may not have heard anyone praising Father for ingenious new stratagems, but you have heard the High Generals sounding quite satisfied as they discussed the new factories and fleet that Fire Lord Ozai is putting into production.

It's much more exciting in theory than in practice. There aren't any especially exciting developments; nothing to compare to Uncle's near-victory over Ba Sing Se. You suppose the most 'exciting' thing about the war is the Generals' occasional musings about the Avatar. The most popular hypotheses right now are that he'll either return just before Sozin's Comet does, or he's just given up completely and is a non-issue.

You sit through the war meetings without complaint, though, and absorb all you can of the current state of the war. With the comet only four years away, Father's plan is to focus on eliminating the Northern Water Tribe and secure as much of the Earth Kingdom's territory outside of Ba Sing Se as possible. The goal is to make sure that by the time the comet arrives, everything will be in place to ensure that the last real bastion of resistance in the world is crushed when the comet's power is used to annihilate Ba Sing Se.
The Southern Water Tribe was effectively removed as a factor in the war by Fire Lord Azulon through long decades of attrition; for the Northern Water Tribe, Father intends a much quicker resolution. Sending scouts to the remote North Pole is a costly and largely fruitless endeavor - scout ships end up sunk more often than not - so the state of the Northern Water Tribe's current defenses is almost completely unknown. Father has elected to cease wasting resources on scout ships or raiding parties, and is instead launching a plan to rapidly expand the Fire Nation's industrial capacity and build a massive fleet of warships to simply crush the tribe in one decisive attack, likely a few years from now. The Northern Water Tribe is so isolationist that there's limited risk involved in leaving them alone for so long; they'll focus on shoring up their defenses and harassing the Fire Navy, but it's a manageable threat. The Earth Kingdom is the more immediate concern; it's simply so massive that holding onto conquered territory within it is a difficult and costly proposition.

Father's current tactic of depopulating the areas the Fire Nation conquers has been lauded as a relatively-efficient way of handling that particular hurdle. You...

Think that Father's actions are misguided; even if the forced labor helps in the short term, he's only going to sow the seeds for future rebellions with this brutality. (34)
+"In the end we must look beyond the short term. If our rule is to be steady and without attempted coups we must make ourselves seem appealing or make it so little changes. The average man does not care who rules them so long as they can feed themselves and their families. They are simple that way." (27)
Think that Father's actions are wasteful; the war is about uplifting these savages, and you shouldn't lose sight of that in your haste to win it. (16)
Think that Father's actions miss an opportunity. If the conquered lands are too big to hold with fire nation soldiers, perhaps earth nation citizens could do the job if properly incentivized. Food and respect are cheaper than iron and don't have to be mined. (6)
Think that Father's actions have merit; one should take advantage of whatever means necessary to achieve victory, and the Fire Nation's supremacy is what's most important. (2)

You never speak during war meetings, whether to question Father or agree with him. But, privately, you can't help but have doubts. You understand that the forced labor is meant to help meet Father's industrial goals to help you win the war, but in the long term...

The Earth Kingdom has little sense of loyalty or identity, not like the Fire Nation's proud national heritage. You imagine that the average person may not care much if their ruler changes, so long as their lives stay stable and prosperous. But enslaving captured populations en masse seems like a very good way to make people become a little more particular about who rules them. The war is supposed to secure the world under the noble guidance of the Fire Nation forever more. Brutality only sows the seeds for future rebellion; it's counterproductive. Of course you can't question the Fire Lord, whether in war meetings or elsewhere, but still... it's something to keep in mind.

It will be your turn to rule someday, after all.

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Gardens

You meditate often, these days. It's a useful practice. The more centered your mind is, the easier lightning comes to you. And you think there may be useful things to learn by studying the flow of energy through your body. You can feel it fairly consistently, now, though you haven't really learned anything significant from it yet. But you have confidence that your reflection will pay dividends someday, if you persist.

Mitsuko stands guard over you as you meditate, always. She doesn't say anything about the night Azulon died, but the way she stands silently at the ready instead of playing around while you meditate speaks volumes. She carries a real sword now - a masterpiece, forged by her father. She says that soon she's going to forge her own, when she's ready to be considered a journeyman swordswoman. You were a little surprised when she told you that, since you'd thought she'd already been a master, let alone a journeyman, for ages. She blushed and grinned when you told her so a few days ago, but also laughed.

"My dad's a real master," she said. "I'll be a journeyman soon, but it'll probably be ages before I'm really on his level."

"If you're only a journeyman with the sword, what does that make the average soldier?" you asked, eyebrow raised.

"Uh..." She leaned a little closer, conspiratorial. "Well, I'd give you my honest opinion of the army's skills," she whispered, "But I don't wanna commit treason."

You laughed for an inappropriately long time at that comment.

Today, she's standing behind you, at your left hand. You can practically feel her presence there; it's comforting. You know no one can get to you without going through Mitsuko first.

"Good morning, Mitsuko," Azula says, settling down next to you.

"Hey, Azula," Mitsuko chirps.

Well, no one but your little sister, anyways.

"I think Ty Lee wanted to talk to you!" Azula says. "Something about hand-to-hand combat? She's over at the training yard."

"Oh, that sounds nice," Mitsuko answers. "I'll be here if she wants to talk!"

You hold in a smile and don't open your eyes. Next, Azula will glare at her for a few seconds, and then...

"Do you mind if I talk to Akane in private?" Azula asks testily.

Ah. Azula's practically been dying waiting for you to tell her how her Grandfather passed away. Maybe she's finally going to just ask you directly. You don't know what she expects you to say or do; it's not like this is a subject you can discuss. There are ears everywhere. But maybe there's something else she wants to talk about. You wouldn't know.

Mitsuko is waiting for you to answer.

Tell Mitsuko she can leave you two alone, and ask her to ensure you're not disturbed. (33)
+"I always have time for my dear little sister" (22)
Promise Azula that Mitsuko can be trusted with anything she wants to say to you. (4)

"I always have time for my dear little sister," you say. "Mitsuko, could you make sure we're not disturbed, if it's not too much trouble?"

"Of course, Princess," Mitsuko answers.

Azula's quiet as Mitsuko walks away. After a moment, she scoots up closer to you, leaning against your side. You allow her to, though you don't open your eyes.

"Open your eyes," Azula mumbles at you. "I know you're not actually meditating while we talk. Keeping your eyes closed doesn't make you look cool. Or smart."

She is mistaken. "Perhaps if you closed your eyes more often, you would learn that things are not always as they appear," you reply. You read that in a book once.

"I already know that because I'm not stupid," Azula says. "How would closing my eyes help?"

"The physical senses can be misleading," you answer. Same book. "You must look within yourself for true knowledge."

"Like knowledge about how Grandfather died?" Azula asks innocently.

You open your eyes. Well. That's one way to segue into the topic.

"Grandfather was killed by assassins, Azula," you murmur, glancing at her. She gives you a flat look, then tries turning on the goatpuppy eyes.

"Akaneee," she whines. "Tell me how it happened!"

Remind her that this is not an appropriate place to discuss this and say nothing. (28)
+ Say that you're just glad the assassins were stopped before they could come after her, too. (36)
Just say that he was old, and although he was still a powerful bender he was physically frail. From what you gather, an assassin managed to wound him during the fight, and he simply wasn't able to recover from the injury. (14)
Promise to tell her soon, when you can discuss this in private. (1)

"This really isn't the place to discuss this, Azula," you murmur.

"No one's listening," Azula argues. "You just sent Mitsuko to make sure. You're being paranoid."

"I'm not paranoid, Azula," you say. "I only wish to respect the former Fire Lord."

"Nobody's going to hear," Azula insists quietly. "We're alone. If you're not going to tell me now, when are you going to tell me? I just want to know what happened!"

You watch the turtleducklings swimming in the pond. They're incredibly tiny. Their necks are so small you could probably crush them between your thumb and forefinger and kill them.

"Nothing really happened, Azula," you murmur. "Nothing beyond what you've already heard. Assassins killed the Fire Lord." You pause, thinking. "I'm just glad they were stopped before they could come after you as well," you add.

Azula narrows her eyes and nods. You think she grasps your meaning. Not that she says 'thank you' or anything.

Your little sister sighs and leans against you, slipping her arm through yours. You allow it. After a moment of quiet, though, she starts rolling up your sleeve.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"Checking your burn," she says innocently.

You catch yourself before you can tense up. Your skin is still slightly damaged on your wrist. It's a little discolored.

It might be permanent.

"There is no burn anymore," you say shortly, pulling your sleeve back down. Azula catches it and tries to pull it back up.

"Why won't you let me see it?" Azula whines, barely holding back a grin. "What's the matter, Akane?"

"Don't damage my dress, Azula," you tell her.

"You're the one tugging on it," she counters, before tugging on your sleeve again. You pull it back down. "I just want to see!"

"You saw it while it was healing," you snap.

"But I want to see it now!" Azula presses.

"There's nothing there!"

"Then let me see it!" Azula says, tugging harder -

"Azula -"

Your sleeve rips. Your wrist is exposed.

There is no scar. (22)
There is a faint, white scar on your wrist where Azulon shocked you. (21)

Azula looks at your wrist. You look at your wrist. The turtleducks quack.

You look at your wrist.

"You have -" Azula says -

Your hand moves before you can process it. You grab Azula by the chin. It's gentle. Her eyes meet yours and go wide and she holds very still.

"I do not," you say levelly, voice completely calm, "Have a scar."

Azula's quiet for a moment. You hold her gaze.

"Okay," she says, voice small.

You let go of her chin. And straighten your sleeve. You turn your attention back to the turtleducklings as Azula sits quietly at your side.

After a long, still moment, she grabs you in a tight hug. You put your arm around your sister and hold her close, rubbing her back.

And everything is fine.

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace

The palace is changing, now that Father is Fire Lord. It's so subtle that you don't really notice it for a long time. Sure, there are the added guards for those first few uncertain months, but that's a logical step after what happened to Fire Lord Azulon. But it's the subtle changes that matter.

The merchant lords spend more time in the palace, as do a lot of young, ambitious officers. Most of the royal guard and many of the serving staff are slowly replaced; one familiar face after another disappears before you realize it. The food that's prepared daily changes. New books are added to the Royal Library and you swear some books disappear.

Father moves into the Fire Lord's wing of the palace, and Mother doesn't. You've known that they weren't on good terms for ages, but...

It doesn't matter. It's not your place to question Father.

But one night, when you're walking back to your room after a long session reading in the library, you catch a glimpse of a woman slipping out of the Fire Lord's wing of the palace, barefoot and clutching a robe tightly around her. She stumbles off in the dark as the guards watch. None of them so much as acknowledge she exists.

Follow the woman. (26)
+ Don't let her see you. (25)
Ignore this. (10)

Ignoring the feeling in your gut, you quietly set off after the woman.

You know the halls better than she does, and she doesn't seem to be on the lookout for people following her at all. Staying out of sight is easy as breathing. There aren't even many guards to stay hidden from; the woman is heading for the servants' quarters.

You're worried for a moment that she'll slip into a crowded dormitory and you'll be forced to lose her. Not that you care. But she doesn't. Instead, she takes a side corridor to a set of spare rooms that you've never seen used before. She slips into a room and shuts the door; you quietly take the room next to her, and burn a tiny hole in the wall to peek in on her.

You don't know why you're doing this.

The woman has her back to you, and you can barely see her through the tiny peephole you made. You can't see her face. You know it's not Mother. That much is obvious. She carries herself like a commoner, like a serving girl. You can tell. Mother is more controlled. This woman is clumsy. She's pulling something out from under the bed, it looks like a bag, and she puts it on the bed and sits down next to it -

You hastily look away as she unfastens her robe, but not before getting a glimpse of angry red burns.

You can hear her whimpering.

Take another look to see what she's doing. (20)
Leave. You've seen enough. (19)
Approach her directly and speak to her. (7)

Some morbid curiosity compels you to take another look. The peephole is small, barely enough to see through. But it's enough.

The woman's face, from what you can tell, is pretty. She looks petite, but shapely. She has long black hair, though it's much less silky and smooth than yours; another sign she's not a noble, she doesn't care for her hair properly.

She probably had very lovely skin, yesterday.

There are burns crisscrossing most of the skin you can see, everywhere below her neck. Some of them look old; some are raw. There's no pattern or reason to them. You don't know why they're there. There's no point in it; if she was being punished for something, she'd just be jailed or banished or dead. The burns are worse than anything you've ever seen during training.

One of them, if you squint, looks almost like a hand.

The woman is crying quietly. It looks like she's taken something out of the bag - oh, it's some sort of cream. She's applying it to the burns. You watch quietly as she works. It's slow going; she's very ginger about her movements.

When she pulls out bandages and starts to apply them as well, you find yourself frowning.

These healing supplies were prepared beforehand for her. She had them ready. Did she make them? Did she buy them? Did someone make them for her? How did she know she'd need them?

And why does that burn cream smell like nothing more than a faint, gentle lavender?

kosm · Sep 21, 2018

The next part of Chapter 4 is ready. Thank you all for reading! <3

-----

96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace: Lady Ursa's Chambers

You ask Mother a few days later if she could give you another lesson in making burn cream. She seems delighted by the request, and offers to sit down with you that very evening.

Azula rolls her eyes at the idea and loudly announces she'll spend the evening practicing 'something useful' instead. It may be for the best, if you have to ask Mother about uncomfortable topics.

"What do you remember about making burn cream, dear?" Mother asks as the servants set up a space for her to work.

"I remember some of the plants used," you say slowly. It's been a while since the last time you and Mother had one of your little herbalism lessons; you were mostly bedridden for a while after the tragic assassination of Fire Lord Azulon. "Isn't lavender one of them?"

"Mm, yes," Mother says. "Lavender can be useful." She nods to the servants and dismisses them as they finish. "It depends on your circumstances, I suppose. The best herb for treating burns is dragongrass, but it only grows in the Fire Nation. Lavender would be much more common overseas, and it's still helpful. I intended to use dragongrass tonight, but if you want to learn how to make a good cream with lavender...?"

Hm. You bow your head. "I'd like to learn whatever technique you think best, Mother," you answer.

Mother reaches over to squeeze your hand. "I'll teach you what my mother taught me, then," she says quietly, smiling brightly.

The lesson is - it's reasonably enjoyable. Mother is always so happy when you do this together. You find the topic reasonably interesting, even if it's a skill you'll probably never need to use yourself. And you work well together. It's usually even better when Azula joins you, but tonight... you have a bad feeling in your gut.

The feeling gets worse when, after you think you've finished the cream, Mother declares that the last step is to add in a bit of lavender to make it smell more pleasant. You follow her instructions without comment.

It's the same smell.

"I think this is one of the best creams I've made in years," Mother says as you finish, putting an arm around your shoulder. "I'm sure Surya will be delighted to have it. Thank you, Akane."

You incline your head. She hugs you against her side. "Thank you, Mother," you answer neutrally. "I enjoyed it."

Mother brushes her fingers through your hair. It's quiet for a moment. You're not sure why it's quiet.

"Why -" you begin -

You're not sure what the rest of your question even is.

"-is father torturing this woman?" (23)
"- do you enjoy herbalism so much, Mother?" (15)
"- Do you find it so hard to understand Azula, Mother?" (11)
"- aren't you staying in the Fire Lord's wing of the palace, Mother?" (9)
"- would someone need this burn cream here, Mother?" (7)
"- do you always make sure your creams and poultices smell pleasant, Mother?" (3)

You want to ask why Father would burn a servant like that. It - obviously the Fire Lord has the right to punish anyone who displeases him, however he chooses, it's just... you lack information. What could the servant have done to anger him? All you want to know is why. But you can't say it so bluntly.

"Akane?" Mother asks.

Damn it. You hesitated, you practically stuttered, it's embarrassing -

"Why do you enjoy herbalism so much, Mother?" you ask quickly. Too quickly. Damn it. Why is your composure - your composure is not slipping, you were just thinking and Mother interrupted you.

Mother runs her fingers through your hair again. You look at the cream on the desk.

"There are a few different reasons," Mother answers slowly. "It gives me a way to be useful, and to help people." She's still stroking your hair, you don't know why she's doing that and she better not mess up your hair. "Akane... is something on your mind?"

Why is she changing the subject? You asked a question.

But you do want to know.

"Have the servants been angering Father lately?" you ask quietly.

Mother's hand hesitates for half a second.

"What do you mean?" she asks, stroking your hair.

You seem to remember that she got annoyed with you when you tried changing the subject with a line like that, once.

You reach out and pick up the tin of burn cream you've made.

"Mother," you say quietly. "Please."

Mother lets out a quiet breath, and kisses your temple. She stands and walks towards the door, and for a moment you think she's actually just going to walk out on you; instead, though, she just makes sure it's locked.

When she turns to face you again, she looks suddenly exhausted.

"What happened, Akane?" she asks quietly.

"Nothing happened, Mother," you answer automatically. "I was only curious."

"Akane," Mother says flatly. She returns to sit by you again, and takes your hand. "Tell me what you saw."

She's so blunt. She has no manners at all.

"I didn't say I saw anything," you answer. "I only asked if something had happened to anger the Fire Lord."

Mother sighs and looks away for a moment.

"Alright," she says. "Nothing has happened to anger your father that I know of."

What is her problem? Why is she suddenly trying to avoid the question?

Why does Mother always have to try to get under your skin?

"I'm certain something has happened," you say. "I had an impression that he was angry."

Mother visibly stiffens. "Akane, did he hurt you?" she hisses.

What? You keep yourself still. "Father would never hurt me."

"Are you hurt, Akane?" Mother presses. "We have the burn cream -"

"I am fine, Mother, thank you," you tell her. What is her problem? "I am only curious about the answer to my question."

Mother keeps looking at you. It's - she's frustrating. You give her a polite, level gaze in return, and after a few moments she finally looks away. Good. You're not hurt, you're not fragile, and Father would never - Father has not injured you.

"Akane..."

Mother sighs, then almost lets out a laugh.

"I've been thinking about this conversation for years," she mutters. "And I still don't know what to say."

"What do you mean, Mother?" you ask.

"Akane, your father -" She pauses, and looks like she's struggling for words. "You know not to repeat this outside of this room. Criticizing the Fire Lord..."

I know how to commit treason, Mother.

"I understand, Mother," you answer.

Mother's quiet again, looking at the burn cream. "Akane... sometimes your father hurts people," she says quietly, "Even if they haven't done anything to anger him."

That sounds biased. "What do you mean, Mother?"

She rubs her forehead and swallows. "I don't know if you're old enough to hear all of this," she says quietly.

She still sees you as a child. You don't think Father does, but that's probably because he knows you killed his father.

"Mother," you say politely, "I'm not certain how this answers the question."

Mother sets her hands back in her lap, not looking at you.

"There isn't a good answer, Akane," she says quietly. "Sometimes people hurt other people without having a good reason to."

She's just feeding you some nonsense answer because she doesn't think you can handle knowing what actually happened to anger Father. "Good reason or no," you answer slowly, "I'm sure there must be some reason."

"Sometimes there isn't, Akane," Mother tells you. "Sometimes people hurt other people just to feel powerful, or to feel like they're in control, or just... because they want to."

She's talking about your father. "But any of those can be a logical reason," you point out. "To curb disloyalty or dissent -"

"Do you think he needs to torture his servants to prove to them he's in charge?" Mother asks you, voice low.

No, but - "That is why I asked, Mother," you answer. "Because obviously there must be some unusual circumstance -"

"There isn't," she says quietly.

You're going in circles.

"Mother, I'm afraid I don't understand what point you're making," you say, keeping your annoyance out of your voice. She sighs.

"My point is that sometimes he doesn't do these things because someone else has done something to wrong him, Akane," Mother answers, voice subdued. "I want you to know that. If he ever hurts you -"

"I don't think he'll ever hurt me without reason." Being afraid of treason is a fair reason.

Mother stares at you silently for a long moment. You keep your expression neutral. Did you say something unusual? Is something wrong with your make-up?

"Do you really believe that?" she asks quietly. "After how he's been treating you? For years?"

Father is *distant*, maybe, but that's not the same thing as hurting me. (23)
Father hasn't treated me any more wrongly than you have. (15)
"I have no illusion that Father is a callous man. Cruel, even. But I don't think anyone would hurt me without reason." (6)
Father has only ever treated me poorly when *you* made him angry. (4)

"He has been somewhat distant, but that isn't the same thing as hurting me," you answer. "He's never hurt me."

"Denying your own child affection is hurting them," Mother answers quietly.

You swallow quietly and stare at her hands in her lap. You almost want to laugh at her.

"And yes," Mother says after a moment, her voice choked, "I know."

You keep still.

"I don't know what you saw, or heard," Mother continues, clearing her throat, "But maybe you can imagine what I've been afraid your father would do, if he thought you favored me over him."

Of all the excuses -

"Father would not hurt me like that just to punish you," you say slowly, deliberately. Your voice stays steady. You keep still.

"I used to believe that too, Akane!" Mother snaps. "And I've regretted it ever since."

You keep still. "That's your excuse?" you ask. It comes out quieter than you intended. Speak up. Stop this. Don't let her get to you. "You think Father would punish me if you bothered to spend more time with me?"

"He has told me as much himself, Akane!"

You look up. Her eyes are wide, pleading, watery.

She's a good liar.

"Stop it," you say quietly. "Enough."

"I'm telling the truth, Akane," she insists quietly. "We had a - a very bad argument. And that was what he decided. I wasn't to go near you anymore."

"You never mentioned this the first time we spoke of -"

"You were eleven," Mother pleads. "How was I supposed to explain this? I don't even know how to explain it to you now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain everything your father has done to me -"

"You could have tried," you tell her. Your voice is shaky. Stop it. You reign your voice in, keep your tone measured. You can't keep letting her get to you. "You could have tried to explain it. If it is true."

"It's all true, Akane," Mother says, her voice cracking. "You know it is. You saw something, didn't you? You've seen what he's like. That's why you asked at all."

She's trying to manipulate you. She's twisting this whole thing around, making it about her. It's not. You were just curious. This isn't - Father wouldn't have treated your mother the same as a servant, anyways.

"It doesn't explain why you were distant before this argument," you say quietly. "There's a hole in your story."

"I know," Mother answers, sniffling. "Akane, I'm so sorry. I took care of you after you were born, but then I had Zuko -"

The candle on the desk brightens. Mother doesn't notice.

"- and then Azula after him, and your father left me alone with both of them," Mother continues, voice faltering. She's crying. You can see her crying in front of you. "He monopolized you, you were his heir, and I was left to care for the newborns, he never let me have as much time with you as you needed."

You didn't need it. You were fine.

"You still could have tried," you say quietly. "Even after this 'argument'. You could have tried."

Mother laughs. It's a bitter laugh, and you don't think you're the target.

"Your father told me," she says, "That if I treated you like I wanted to, like my daughter, he would treat you the same - like you were my daughter, but not his. I was only allowed to give you one parent, Akane. All of you were only allowed to have one parent." She chokes out something between a laugh and a sob. "I thought, if I kept things as they were, you at least wouldn't become a target. At least you would be safe. And when Iroh got back, or became Fire Lord, I could go to him for help." She half-laughs again. "And then the siege lasted two years, and Lu Ten died, and now Iroh -"

Mother hides her eyes behind her hand, letting out another sob.

"What was I supposed to do, Akane?" she asks, voice halting. "I don't know what I was supposed to do. Should I have just ignored him? I could have ignored him, I could have been there for you and damn the consequences. Or should I have just explained it all when you were eleven? Asked you to choose one of us? He was still your father, you still loved him. You and Azula both. He hadn't rejected you yet, not like Zuko. Would you have even wanted me to be there for you, if it meant turning him against you?" Mother finishes, her voice reduced to a whisper.

"Hadn't rejected me yet? He hasn't spent a moment more than he strictly needed to with me that whole year!" (18)
It doesn't matter now. (17)
Leave (10)
Yes. (3)
No. (1)

You watch Mother cry. You're not sure for how long. You're interrupted when you notice your hands hurt.

You unclench your fists.

"By the time we spoke, he hadn't spent any more time with me than he absolutely needed to for a year," you say quietly. "I was afraid he had rejected me."

Mother nods, choking out another sob. "I shouldn't have let him scare me," she manages. "I should have been there for you when you needed me."

No. You - that isn't what you said. You didn't say you needed her. That's not what you said.

Your throat hurts. You swallow.

"It doesn't matter now, Mother," you say.

"It does matter, Akane," Mother insists, wiping at her eyes. "It does matter."

Why does she keep saying things like this when she can't prove them?

"None of this," you say slowly, your voice feeling thick, "Is relevant. I had a question. You didn't answer it. I should retire for the evening."

"Akane -"

Mother catches your sleeve as you stand, and you jerk your arm away.

"Excuse me." It comes out as a whisper. Why is your voice not working? What's wrong with you?

"Akane," Mother chokes out, louder. "Please. You know what happened, now, you - if you want me to defy Ozai, I will."

If you want me to be your mother, I will.

Her hand's on your wrist again.

"I know I've failed you as a mother, Akane," Mother pleads. "I know. I've been too afraid - I've been afraid of him for so long, Akane. But I won't let that stop me anymore. I'll do better for you, and Azula too. We can try to become a family again, Akane. Please."

Tell her you would like that, if it was true. (18)
+"Be there for Azula. Live with her moods, her joys, her issues, her qualities. And rebuild the bonds. If you manage to do that... I think I can begin to forgive you." (23)
+"Although I would advise against it. If father truly is what you say then all it would do is get you hurt." (20)
Tell her to prove it. (8)
Walk out. (6)
Tell her you don't believe her. (3)

When you were younger, your family went to Ember Island often. You remember going to see Love Amongst the Dragons every year, and reenacting the final scene with Zuko and Azula. Zuko was always the Dark Water Spirit, and you and Azula took turns between fighting him as the Dragon Emperor and sitting and watching as the Dragon Emperor's mortal girlfriend, the one who turned out to secretly be the Dragon Empress all along. You remember Mother talking excitedly to the actors after the productions, and Lu Ten shouting advice at you and your siblings as you fought, and Father glowering at a serene Uncle across a pai sho table.

You remember times when Father kissed Mother, when he wrapped his arms possessively around her. You remember times when he and Mother sat together on the beach, but it was always in silence.

'Become a family again'.

"I would like that," you say, and even without looking at her you can feel Mother's heart lift. "If it were true."

"It is true, Akane," Mother promises, voice still weak. "I swear it."

"If what you said is true, Father won't have any part of this," you say quietly. "How can we be a family without him?"

Mother takes your hand gently. You feel her thumb stroking your skin.

"I think that's the only way we can be a family, Akane," Mother answers softly.

Your breathing is unsteady. You shut your eyes and concentrate.

With your eyes closed, you see the sunrise off the coast of Ember Island, and you see Father standing over you in the Fire Lord's chambers.

You want to slip your hand out of Mother's, but you don't.

"Akane," Mother says quietly. "You will always be my daughter. Even when I fail you, I'm proud of you for standing up to me. I'm proud of how brave you are."

The last thing you remember from that night is forcing yourself to your feet in front of Father. Your eyes burn, and you think it must be phantom pain from the memory of the smoke.

You aren't sure you would know family if you saw it.

"How can I prove it to you, Akane?" Mother asks quietly. Her voice is growing steadier, her sniffles fading.

You don't know the answer. How are you supposed to know what it would be like to 'be a family again'? How are you supposed to know this? What are you supposed to say?

"What do you want?" Mother insists. "Just tell me how I can be a good mother for you. Tell me what you want this family to be. Please. Anything. We can figure this out together, Akane."

What is family supposed to be?

"I want you," you say quietly, "to be there for Azula. No matter what happens, or what she does, or what her moods are. Be there for her. Teach her without trying to change her. Support her. She's my sister."

You slip your hand out of hers.

"When you can be her mother, you'll be mine too," you whisper.

"I will," Mother promises, as you hurry from the room.

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace Training Ground

Mother does change. In the weeks that follow, she starts spending all the time she can with you and Azula. She offers more herbalism lessons, she joins you when you read, she even watches your firebending training.

Zuko tags along with her often, and seems very confused. Azula and Mitsuko seem confused as well. When Azula mentions to you that Mother is hovering lately, you tell her that you spoke with Mother recently and learned she wants to spend more time with the two of you, doing things that you enjoy. Azula is skeptical, but says that at least Mother isn't being as strict lately. It is true; Mother seems to be a little hands-off with scolding at the moment, like she's trying to take her time and rethink how she approaches Azula. She even lets Azula off the hook without comment one day when Zuko tattles on her for burning another doll. Instead, she sits down with Azula and asks her what kind of toy she would prefer to collect. Azula says knives. Mother suggests practice swords.

Progress.

You feel encouraged. Energized, even. Mother is trying, and it shows. You start to get accustomed to the feel of her watching you during your firebending training, smiling and nodding you on. She doesn't exactly know what she's watching, and it shows, but sometimes after training finishes you see her talking to Lo and Li, asking questions.

But if it was this easy all along... why did she wait until now? It bothers you. Angers you, even, when you think about it too long, though of course you have no trouble reigning in your emotions. But sometimes the question won't leave you alone.

You're practicing lightning at sunset one evening, trying to clear your mind, when you become aware of a presence watching you that feels nothing like Mother. After completing a lightning bolt, you turn to face your audience -

- and quickly drop into a bow.

"Good evening, Father," you greet him.

He's silent for a moment.

"Faster, this time," he tells you.

'Faster'... the lightning. You jump to your feet and start going through the circular motions of lightning generation again, trying to go faster - it's difficult, it's a delicate process that takes several seconds -

"Not fast enough," he interrupts a second in.

You tune him out to avoid blowing yourself up, and finish releasing the bolt.

"Forgive me, I -"

"Have you never considered lightning's role in a duel?" Father asks quietly. "Do you believe there is any circumstance under which you will be given two or three seconds to create a lightning bolt?"

You have been considering it. Especially after Azulon managed something involving lightning in about half a second.

"I understand I must learn to create lightning more quickly -" you begin -

A fireball bigger than you are comes flying directly at you. You whirl your arms on reflex to deflect but still go skidding backwards from the impact, your feet leaving the ground - you twist in midair to try to get them back underneath you, trying not get distracted by the way you gasped it was undignified it was improper but you need to focus need to land -

You do manage to land on your feet, but it makes little difference when the ground explodes in front of you. You go tumbling onto your back and roll to a stop.

"That," Father says, "Is how lightning is used, Akane."

He created lightning in the time between launching a fire blast at you and you landing after its impact. It was less than a second. You didn't even get a chance to see it coming.

How?

"I will do my best to learn, Father," you manage, picking yourself up off the ground.

A stray strand of hair dangles in front of your eyes. You resist the urge to burn it off as you brush it away.

"Then show me," Father commands.

The third time you fail to create lightning as quickly as he demands, he knocks you off your feet again. You get up and apologize and begin again, ignoring the soreness beginning to spread throughout your body.

The fifth time you fail, he leaves without another word.

kosm · Sep 28, 2018

Here's what happened during last night's live. I hope you all enjoy it! ^_^ Let me know what you think!

-----

96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace: Crown Princess's Chambers

"Does this look good?" Mitsuko asks.

You glance up from her hair and evaluate her makeup in the mirror. Her lashes are full and dark, her lips glossy and beautiful. The shade she chose was a rather inspired choice, you think, her skill with make-up really has become quite impressive. Her lips look wonderful. A great deal of that is natural, you think, her lips always look quite good, but she's becoming very good at using makeup correctly to accentuate her best features. Her lips really do look quite good.

"Is it okay?" Mitsuko asks nervously.

"You look quite good," you answer. "I think you look lovely."

Mitsuko grins happily and you look back down at her hair. "Thanks, Akane!"

"You're welcome," you murmur.

You never even really need to help Mitsuko with her makeup anymore; she practices with it every bit as diligently as she does with her swordplay. Your bodyguard's presentation is every bit as perfect as yours. Nights like these, where you help her with her hair and so on, aren't even really strictly necessary anymore. But you still enjoy it.

You pass the time brushing Mitsuko's hair as she chats about the gossip she's heard lately and the interesting things happening around the palace.

"Lady Ursa seems to be spending a lot more time with us lately," Mitsuko comments after a bit.

"Yes," you answer. "Mother wants to spend more time with Azula and me."

Mitsuko 'mm's, but doesn't respond. You run the brush slowly through her hair. It's almost as silky as yours.

"Akane," Mitsuko begins hesitantly, "Does your Mother dislike me?"

Ah. Mother... she doesn't send Mitsuko away whenever she spends time with you, not anymore, but she still acts like she's suspicious of her. It's irritating. You'd been putting up with it for the sake of allowing her to spend more time with you, but if it's bothering Mitsuko...

Tell Mitsuko Mother doesn't dislike her, she's just overbearing sometimes. (11)
Tell Mitsuko Mother has some ridiculous paranoia about the two of you. (6)
Tell Mitsuko you'll talk to Mother about it, if she's bothering Mitsuko. (3)
Ask Mitsuko why she asks. (3)

"I don't think Mother dislikes you," you answer quietly. "She just tends to be a bit overbearing at times."

"I just don't understand why she's like this with me," Mitsuko says. "She never has a problem with Azula spending time with Ty Lee or Mai. And it doesn't seem like she's just being protective of you, she used to send me away all the time even before - before you got injured. I don't mean to complain, but..."

"It's alright," you murmur. "I don't know what she's thinking either."

You gently pull some of Mitsuko's hair to the side as you work, and she tilts her head. Your fingers brush against her neck. She has very soft skin. You watch her as she swallows.

"Y-yeah," Mitsuko says. She seems to have an issue with stammering sometimes, you're not sure why. It's more charming than anything, though. "I don't understand her."

"Regardless," you say. "Please don't ever feel as though you aren't welcome. I always enjoy your company."

"I know," Mitsuko says. You see her smile in the mirror. "Thanks, Akane."

You share a pleasant silence for a moment before Mitsuko bites her lip.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up again," she begins, "But... Akane, do you think it's because of my father?"

"Oh, no," you say. "I doubt Mother cares about that sort of thing."

Mitsuko's father, Piandao, is something of a controversial figure. A nonbending swordsman, he was a decorated soldier in the army decades ago, during Azulon's reign. But he deserted. After a few years on the run across the world, he was bold enough to return to the Fire Nation. When the garrison at Shu Jing sent soldiers to arrest him, though, he defeated them all, and their reinforcements, and the reinforcements after them - it turned into a massive, day-long running battle, the entire garrison fighting one man. By the end of it, Piandao had defeated one hundred Fire Nation soldiers. Personally.

Your grandfather was so impressed by the display of strength and ferocity that he deigned to pardon Piandao's desertion, on the condition he never again leave the Fire Nation. But even with the official pardon, Mitsuko's family isn't exactly well-regarded among the nobility.

Still. That's not why Mother doesn't like Mitsuko. Her paranoia is rooted in much more ridiculous things.

"I was just worried about it," Mitsuko mumbles. "What if she decides I shouldn't be around you anymore? I can train all I want to be a good bodyguard, but I can't train away things my dad did. What if they decide I'm not good enough to serve you?"

Tell her it's not your mother's decision. You want Mitsuko with you and that's all that matters. (18)
+ Do the top two options. (13)
Do you really believe that Ursa actually has enough clout to stop me from seeing you? (4)
Ask her why she's so worried about not being able to be your bodyguard. (2)
Remind her that you're the crown princess. Before long, you'll be the one who decides which families deserve to be considered noble and which don't. (2)

"I think you may be underestimating your own potential, Mitsuko," you murmur, running your fingers through her hair. "You're already a master swordswoman by most people's standards. It won't be long before you're too skilled and too powerful for anyone to question you. It won't be long before we both are."

Mitsuko grimaces. "I know you'll be that powerful," she says. "You're the crown princess and like the best firebender in the world. But I'm not even a bender. Dad's probably the best swordsman ever and people still don't respect him."

"You'll surpass your father," you tell her. You both will. "Strength will always be the most important thing in politics. Some fools in the court may hold ill-will towards your father for his past actions, but none of them will ever be strong enough to challenge you. You're magnificent."

"W-well," Mitsuko stammers. "I don't know..."

"Besides," you continue. "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, and it wouldn't matter if Mother did disapprove of your family. I want you here. As my bodyguard, and my friend. I will not allow anyone to remove you from me. It's as simple as that."

"Okay," Mitsuko mumbles. When you glance at the mirror, she's smiling a little. Her cheeks seem darker than normal. "Thank you, Princess."

"You're welcome," you murmur.

"Um, Akane," Mitsuko mumbles. "I'm going to forge my new sword soon. I know you never visit my father's house, but I was hoping..."

Piandao may have been pardoned, and may be allowed to visit the palace to give your brother lessons, but allowing him to have the honor of hosting royalty in his own home has always been considered to be a bit too much. You've never been able to visit Mitsuko; only the other way around. But this sounds like an important event for her...

Ask your father for permission to visit Mitsuko's house. (18)

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace: Fire Lord's Chambers

You promise Mitsuko to ask your father for permission to be with her when she forges her sword. The next evening, you go to see him to make your request.

The guards let you into the Fire Lord's wing of the palace without any trouble, this time. Father is in the study.

"Father?" you ask through the door. "May I speak to you?"

"Come in," he grunts.

The study looks nice, now that it's been rebuilt. Father is sitting at a new desk with a pile of scrolls. But that's not what stands out when you step inside.

There's a servant girl in the far corner of the room, sorting through a bookshelf. She glances at you over her shoulder as you come in, and your eyes meet.

It's her.

"Yes, Akane?" Father asks. You quickly dip into a bow, and keep your expression blank.

With the servant's uniform on, you can't see the burns. But you know her face.

"I wished to speak with you, Father," you manage.

"I gathered," he says curtly. "Tell me what you want."

You straighten. The servant girl is sorting books again, her back to you.

"My handmaiden, Mitsuko, will soon be graduating to journeyman status with the sword in the eyes of her father, Piandao," you say, keeping your gaze on Father. "I would like to be there, at her family's home in the capital, to be with her during the ceremonies and rites involved."

Father watches you silently. Your gazes lock, and you don't look away.

"Do you have a reason for this, Akane?" he finally asks.

To secure Mitsuko's loyalty. (29)
To support your friend. (2)

"Being present for such a significant ceremony would help to further secure Mitsuko's loyalty -" you begin -

"No, you misunderstand the question," Father cuts you off. "I would like to know if you have a reason for your recent habit of squandering your time in the company of those who weaken you."

Mother. Damn it.

"I -"

The servant girl hisses quietly as she tries to stretch to put a stack of books on the top shelf. One of the books falls to the ground with a loud thump. She freezes, her hand halfway to her abdomen.

Father shuts his eyes.

"Leave us," he grinds out.

The servant dashes out the door. Father turns his gaze back to you.

"Well?" he asks, voice low. "Do you have some explanation, Akane?"

Tell him Mitsuko is a useful asset and does not weaken you. (23)
Tell him you're not certain who he's referring to. (3)
Ask him if he thinks you are weak. (2)

"Mitsuko is a useful asset -" you begin -

Father stands up. Your mouth clicks shut.

Is this room cursed?

"Do not play games with me, Akane," he hisses.

"I would never, Father," you say quietly.

You wonder what they put in the room above this one, this time.

"You have spent every waking moment with that woman for weeks now," he seethes. "Why? Have you decided the pressure of being the crown princess is too much for you? Has your will to rule left you completely? Have you decided you would rather become soft and weak like your useless brother?"

Funny. Until he mentioned Zuko, you weren't sure whether the woman he was referring to was Mitsuko or Mother.

Tell him that Mother feels she's been neglecting you, and took it upon herself to make amends. (20)
Tell him that you saw no harm in allowing Mother to spend time with you, as it seemed he was too busy to do so. (4)

You don't dignify the comment about being as weak as Zuko with a response.

"Mother feels that she's been neglecting me," you say softly. "She took it upon herself to make amends."

Father snorts.

"'Neglecting you'," he echoes. His lips tug into a sneer. "Have you allowed her to fool you with her overacted sentimentality, Akane? I had hoped my heir would be less foolish than that. The only thing that woman wants from you is to steal you from me."

"Steal me, Father?" you ask.

Father steps back from his desk. The anger in his expression seems to cool. "You've seen the result of her lavishing attention on her favored child," he tells you, stepping around the desk. "The weakness she's instilled in your brother. She has no desire to raise worthy heirs to the throne; that woman has no interest in any child who does not satisfy her fantasy of playing house like some backwater peasant family."

Father walks slowly past you. You turn to follow him with your gaze.

"Now that you have become the Crown Princess," he continues, his back to you, "She feels threatened by the idea of the strength you will need to have. The strength you will learn, if you follow in my footsteps as is your birthright. She sees you outgrowing the fantasy of domesticity that she still clings to. And so she makes a new attempt to drive a wedge between us, sink her claws into you."

He looks at you over his shoulder. "If you continue to allow her to entangle you, she will wring the strength from you until there is nothing left but softness and sentiment," he hisses.

"She has not interfered in my training, Father," you say quietly. "I would never allow her to."

"Hm. So you think." Father begins to circle you again. "Sentimentality is a weakness, Akane. The desire for domesticity, the belief in 'family' as some sacred bond - these are weaknesses too, as you well know."

You doubt he's oblivious to the way you're standing; weight on the balls of your feet, ready to move. This room sets you on edge. But you doubt Father disapproves.

"Your mother already has her favorite child," Father reminds you. "She has never wanted anything to do with children who truly have the strength of royalty. This 'interest' she has in you now is nothing more than an attempt to twist you into what she wants, and deny my heir to me. She wishes nothing more than to find any way she can to turn us against each other."

You keep your face still. You have a feeling in your stomach but you aren't sure what it is.

"You think she's capable of such a scheme, Father?" you ask neutrally.

"I know she is." Father stops pacing, and turns to face you fully. He's still much taller than you; you have to look up to meet his gaze. "She has attempted such before."

You keep yourself from frowning. "Has she?" you ask.

"She has." He crosses his arms. "When you were eleven years old."

The year Father was first furious with you for no reason. Mother said you had gotten 'caught up' in a fight between the two of them.

"What did she do?" you ask quietly.

"She had seen how quickly you were progressing, both in your bending and your understanding of military matters," Father says. "Then, as now, she felt threatened - painfully aware of her own irrelevance to your role as my heir. She is weak, and has no stomach for the affairs of royalty, so rather than attempting to make herself useful to you, she launched a plan to remove you from my favor."

He lifts his chin, sneering. "Your mother attempted to smear you as an illegitimate child."

"What?"

The word slips out of you before you catch yourself, and Father's lips twitch.

"Yes," he says. "She wrote a letter, intending for it to be discovered, in which she 'revealed' that you were the daughter of some peasant man she had once known. A simplistic ruse, but still plausible enough to cast doubt on you, given her history. Had she succeeded, she could have robbed you of your birthright."

She wouldn't -

"I had the peasant killed, of course," Father says. "And investigated until I was able to be certain that the alleged rendezvous she had had with him could never have happened. And I forbade that treacherous woman from having anything further to do with you or your sister. My only regret is that, in my anger, I distanced myself from you much as she had intended."

The peasant man - you overheard him receiving the report from his assassin, the Yuyan Archer. He didn't succeed in killing him, but he did order it. And Mother said that Father ordered her to stay away from you.

It fits. It fits. Her own half-truths make it fit.

Father puts his hand on your shoulder. You blink quickly and look up at him.

"You are my heir, Akane," he tells you, voice fierce. "And I will not tolerate weakness in you any more than I will tolerate her deception. From now on, you are not to speak with her. Her days in this palace are numbered. You will focus on your training, your preparation, and become the princess you are meant to be. Do I make myself clear?"

There's only one answer when the Fire Lord asks that.

"Yes, Father," you say. Your voice stays steady.

"Good."

Father lifts his hand from your shoulder and turns away.

"You are dismissed, Akane."

You leave without another word.

Disobey Father and confront Mother. (20)

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace

You try not to be painfully foolish. You don't go to Mother right away, and when you do you make sure you're not being followed. But Father's orders or no, you want to hear it from her. You want her to tell you the truth. For once.

When you manage to sneak to her room, though, she isn't there. It's empty. It's late at night and you aren't sure where she'd...

Some of Mother's collection of herbs is missing. So is her mortar and pestle.

You set off for the servants' wing. There's a light on in that room again. When you just slightly crack the door open, you can hear their voices.

"Can you lift your arms?" Mother asks, voice full of concern.

"No," the servant answers. Her voice is choked. She's been crying, again. "It hurts."

"Where does it hurt?"

"E-everywhere!" the girl whimpers. "My chest, my stomach, e-everything hurts and the cream isn't helping -"

"Okay, alright, shh, it's okay," Mother coos. You can hear the girl sobbing. "You're going to be alright. Let me see -"

The girl hisses loudly in pain. You pull the door open just a little farther and cautiously peek in; they don't seem to be in sight of the room's entrance.

"It hurts!"

"It hurts here?"

"Yes!"

"You don't have any bruises here," Mother muses quietly. "Or burns. There must be something else. When you changed your bandages, did anything look infected?"

You see their shadows; they're on the other side of the divider inside the room. You slip through the door and quietly shut it behind you, and stay in the shadows as you creep closer to them.

"Nothing looked infected," the servant says, sniffling. "I don't know. I don't know, I-I think he hit me near there and it hurt, w-what if I'm bleeding inside or -"

"You're alright," Mother reassures her. "You're alright. It doesn't seem swollen. Have you been nauseous?"

"O-only when the pain is bad," the servant answers.

"It could just be something simple," Mother muses. "Does it feel like a cramp?"

"No," the servant mumbles. She sniffs. You slowly step a little closer to the divider. "I'm late."

You pause.

"How late?" Mother asks quietly.

"I don't know," the servant mumbles. "A week."

"I'll make you some tea," Mother tells her.

"B-but what if he -"

"Does he know you're late?" Mother asks.

"N-no -"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Mother says quietly. "I won't let him force you to do this."

Your hands ball into fists.

Ask Mother when she started having such a problem with the idea of illegitimate children. (23)
Ask to speak to Mother, now, in private. Calmly confront her with Father's accusations and actually listen to what she has to say. (15)
Ask Mother why she seems so much better at caring for servants without strings attached than she is at caring for her children. (13)

You step around the divider. They don't notice you at first. Mother is standing in between the servant and you, her back facing you.

"I'm surprised to hear you're opposed to the idea of illegitimate children, Mother," you say levelly.

They both startle when you speak. The servant hisses as she jumps to her feet, pulling her robe tighter around her. Mother whirls around, shielding the servant behind her.

Of course that's her first reflex.

"Akane?" Mother asks. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to speak with you."

"How did you know we were here?" Mother asks.

"Are you not glad to spend time with me?"

"Akane -"

"I had questions to ask you."

The servant girl is looking between the two of you, wide-eyed. Your expression is calm. Mother looks worried.

"Akane, are you alright?" she asks. "What happened?"

Stop it. She knows exactly what happened. She tried to get you labeled as illegitimate.

What is this obsession she has with destroying your life? Accusing you of treason, accusing you of being a bastard child, trying to turn you against Father -

How can she do all of this and still look at you like she's concerned? How dare she?

You fight to get your breathing back under control. You have to stop letting her get to you.

"Akane," Mother says gently, opening her arms, "Come here. What's wrong, love?"

Tell the servant girl to get out first. This is between you and Mother. Then do the second place option. (30)
Tell her you know what she did - that she tried to have you delegitimized. (28)
+ Tell her to stop patronizing you. (27)
Confront mother with Father's claims, grant her a chance to defend herself. (5)
Tell her that Father told you the truth about why he was distant. (2)

"Please do not patronize me, Mother," you say quietly. She frowns.

"Akane, what's wrong?" she asks. "I'm not trying to patronize you."

You turn to the servant girl. "Leave us."

Her mouth opens, and she and Mother exchange looks.

"Leave us," you repeat.

"Akane, she's injured," Mother says. "And she can't go to Surya. Why don't I make us all tea -"

"Are you that eager to take another child from Father?" you snap.

Mother stares at you. You swallow and blink rapidly. Control your breathing. You're perfect. You're above this. You're above her. Stop letting her get to you.

"Akane -" Mother begins -

"I won't carry his child," the servant blurts.

You fix her with your gaze. She straightens up and looks back at you, her eyes wide and frenzied.

"I won't," she repeats, her voice shaking. "I-I'm not leaving here without the tea."

You stare at her. This idiot girl -

"Akane, let's talk in the other room, while I fix her tea," Mother says. "And let her rest."

Even the servant takes priority over you? The servant?

Deep breaths. Servant girl has obviously been in some distress, be benevolent and excuse the slip up this ONE time. She and mother can finish their business once you've spoken. (28)
Demand to know why Mother despises you so much that she allows even the SERVANTS to join her in mistreating you. (21)
Tell the stupid girl to GET OUT. (14)
+ Tell the girl she doesn't DESERVE to have Father's child. (8)
Tell this idiot girl that if she disobeys you again you'll consider it treason and punish her accordingly. (6)

You take deep breaths. Your breathing is controlled. You have everything under control. You are perfect and Mother will not get to you and neither will this idiot, impudent servant, they have obviously had a difficult day and are far less collected about it than you are, because unlike Mother you actually have some semblance of royal decorum.

"You are hurt," you say to the servant. Your voice comes out as just barely more than a whisper; you make sure to speak up a bit as you continue. "I will excuse your disobedience one time. You can conclude your business with my mother once I have spoken to her."

"Thank you, Akane -" Mother says -

"Y-you can't talk to me like that," the servant stammers.

You and Mother both stare at her. The candlelight in the room brightens. The servant shakes her head rapidly, her eyes wide as saucers. Tears are leaking from them.

"I-I mean it!" she gasps out. "You can't treat me like this! You people can't treat me like this! You can't do this! I-I have been raped, and burned, and beaten, a-and I-I won't take it anymore!"

"Chae -" Mother says quietly, glancing at you -

"I won't take it!" the servant snaps. "Y-you can't just tell me to sit in here and wait and hurt and cry w-while you talk about whatever you want! You can't just t-tell me to wait like I-I'm not even important! I-I'm just as much of a person as you are! I won't take this! I won't take anymore!"

Tell the girl she *is* less important than you. (26)
+ Remain calm. Take a deep breath and center yourself. Your fire is your will, and anyone who can let their will be bent and blown away by the ramblings of a servant isn't even fit to wield fire. (18)
Tell her she will be *fine* to wait until you have finished talking to Mother. (13)
Ignore her. (9)
Slap her. (9)

"Chae, it's okay," Mother says quietly, putting her hands on the servant girl's shoulders. "You're safe. It's alright. Deep breaths."

Of course she comforts the servant. Everyone needs her except for you.

You take another deep breath, too. You're calm. You're centered. You've had enough of this nonsense.

You step closer to the servant girl. Mother glances over her shoulder at you, and you can even see a little bit of concern there before she turns back to the sobbing servant girl.
Father was right after all. She barely even tries to act like you matter. You're not weak enough for her to care.

You glance past Mother, at the servant girl.

"You are less important than I am," you tell her quietly. She looks up at you, and your eyes meet.

No matter what Mother's told you, you don't add.

"Akane -" Mother scolds -

The servant slaps you.

The room goes so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You and the servant don't look away from each other.

You think your eyes are as wide as hers.

She slapped you. A servant slapped you.

"I won't take it," she says quietly. She looks stunned at herself.

She slapped you.

"Chae -" Mother says -

The servant girl stumbles back away from Mother. She walks over towards the divider, heading towards the door of the room.

Mother starts to go after her.

The servant doesn't matter as much as the fact that Mother apparently cares enough about her to go after her instead of help you. Stop Mother and demand she talk to you. (30)
You probably kinda deserved that. Mitsuko would have been appalled by what you just said. (26)
Lightning Bolt. (20)

You grab Mother's arm as she tries to step past you.

"Akane -" Mother says -

"You're going after her?" you ask quietly. "After she slapped me?"

You hear the door open and the servant plod out.

"Akane," Mother says, her voice pained, "After everything she's been through -"

"Is that all you care about?" you demand. "You haven't even given me a chance to speak to you -"

"I have been trying to give you a chance to speak, but sometimes we have to balance what we need with what other people -"

"I am your daughter!"

It slips out before you can try to compose yourself. She always does this to you. She acts like she loves you and like it's not her fault things keep getting in the way of it and she keeps trying to dig in under your skin and weaken you and -

Mother tries to pull you into a hug and you push her away.

"Get off of me!" you snap. "Listen to me!"

"Okay, Akane," Mother says quietly. "I'm listening. What's wrong?"

You glare at her, and she meets your eyes. She's fighting the urge to glance towards the door, you can tell. She wants to follow her precious little servant girl. She wants to help the one who's actually weak enough for her to care about.

You straighten back up, forcing your breathing under control. You've had enough of this. You've had enough of her. She's spent weeks trying to get under your guard and it won't work. You can see how little she cares.

"I know what you did," you say, calmly. "When I was eleven. You accused me of being illegitimate. You took Father away from me."

Mother has the gall to look stunned.

Tell her you just want to know why. You want to know why she's always treated you like this, what she wanted from you. (26)
Tell her you want to know what you did wrong, what *flaw* she thinks you still have that makes you a defective child. (23)
Tell her you're trying not to jump to conclusions and want to hear her side of the story, but you feel like you've given her enough second chances. (19)

"You told me that I had gotten caught up in your fight with Father," you remind her, voice steady. It's steady. "And you told me that he forbade you to spend more time with me. You told me that Father didn't have a reason for the things he did. That was convenient, wasn't it?" You swallow.

"Akane -"

"Just tell me why," you say quietly. "The truth, this time. Tell me why you treat me like this. Why do you treat me like I'm less important to you than a servant? What do you want from me?"

Mother is tearing up again.

"Stop it," you whisper. "Don't. Stop crying. You always do this."

"I didn't try to smear you, Akane," Mother says, her voice wavering. "I never tried to hurt you. I never would have done anything if I knew you would be in danger. I told you, that day." She smiles bitterly. "I never thought Ozai would take his anger at me out on you. I've regretted it ever since."

"What did you do, Mother?" you demand.

Mother wilts. "I made a mistake," she says, and you fight down the urge to snap at her to get to the point. "I - I wrote a letter, yes. I knew Ozai was intercepting my letters home, and I - I was angry, Akane. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to insult him."

She visibly fights down tears. Father was right. She overacts her feelings.

"I wrote a letter telling my friend that he was your father," she admits quietly. "A peasant."

"You admit it?" you say quietly. "You tried to frame me -"

"I was a virgin when I married Ozai!" Mother snaps, eyes suddenly wild. "The first thing Azulon did after kidnapping me was have his physician examine me to make sure! They treated me like I was a piece of meat, Akane!" she thunders. "Like I was an animal! He knew! He knew you were his daughter! He always knew!"

"Then why did you do it?" you demand. "Why would you spread lies about your own daughter -"

"Because he stole you from me!" she rages. "The moment you created your first fire! He ripped you away from me because he thought I would weaken you, because he hated the fact I wouldn't raise you to see human beings as disposable! He hated the fact that I decided that I would raise my children as children instead of trying to turn them into copies of him!"

"So you decided if you couldn't have me, no one could," you say. Mother shakes her head, her eyes tearing up.

"I never thought he would retaliate against you," she says. "I thought he would retaliate against me, not his heir. I thought there was nothing left he could do to me. Azulon wouldn't let him kill me. I'm not afraid of him hurting me. I'm not afraid of burns or bruises. I thought I could get this one little scrap of revenge and weather whatever he decided to do to me in return." She laughs bitterly. "And it turned out he realized it. So he told me that if I went near you again, he'd make us both pay. And he said the same would happen to Azula. Zuko's the only child he never cared enough about to chase me away from."

She nods at the door, letting out a quiet sob. "I told you," she says quietly. "I was afraid you would end up like her."

Tell her you have nothing more to say to her, and leave. (26)
Tell her Ozai has forbidden you to speak to her anymore regardless. It's over between the two of you. (23)
Tell her you pity her, and you'll have to decide what to do with her later. For now, you're tired, and you need your energy so you continue taking care of Azula daily. (14)
Tell her you don't know which of your parents is less trustworthy, and you doubt you'll find out anytime soon. (10)
Ask her how she thinks she could possibly make up for this. (8)

Mother meets your eyes, her expression pleading. Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she isn't. Maybe Father's lying to you and maybe he isn't. They'll just keep tugging you to one side and then the other until you rip. What point is there to this? What difference does it make? You'll probably all end up like Grandfather before long.

You have Azula. You have Mitsuko. You don't need this. You don't need her. She's never acted like you need her. Everyone else always comes first. Zuko. Servants. Herself.

You don't need her.

"I have nothing more to say to you, Mother," you whisper.

"Akane, please, I -"

You turn your back on her.

"Akane!"

You hurry out of the room. Mother follows, hot on your heels. You're almost surprised she didn't go off after her servant instead, wherever that fool went.

"Akane, you are my daughter and I will always love you -"

You break into a run.

"Akane!" Mother calls after you. You hear her pace increase. "Akane, please!"

She can't run as fast as you can. Her cries don't stop you. They don't even slow you down.

You're sprinting by the time you get back to your room. You lost her in the hallway a while ago. You grab the nearest guard you can find and order him that you are not to be disturbed, no matter what, and lock the door behind you. You strip yourself of make-up and put on your robe and go to bed, and cover your ears with a pillow to shut out the voice you can soon hear from the other side of the door.

And you don't cry.

* * * * *
You jerk upright when your door bursts open. A little bit of dim light filters in through the window; it's almost morning, you think. Something half-remembered flits through your head. Were you asleep? What time is it?

A guard rushes into the room. And then another. And another. And another.

You get out of bed. "What's going on?" you demand.

"Princess Akane," one of the guards says, "We're here to move you to safety."

"To safety?" you repeat.

"Yes," he says. "There has been an attempt on the Fire Lord's life."

----
Thank you all for reading <3 I hope it's okay! If you enjoy my writing and to support me, I do have a patreon for my quest writing at patreon.com/kosm ^_^ The next post of Deep Red is planned for either Tuesday or Thursday next week!

kosm · Oct 5, 2018

Here's the results of last night's session! I hope it's okay!

-----

96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace

It turns out regicide attempts are almost anticlimactic when you're not directly involved.

The guards rush you to a bunker under the palace, answering your questions with curt 'We don't know yet's and practically ignoring you besides. You spend the night sitting in a rather small metal conference room, meditating while Zuko and Azula pace and bicker. Within ten minutes, you're informed that Father is alright and the would-be assassin is dead. You're all told to stay here, out of the way, while he directs the effort to root out and purge whatever other conspirators aided her.

When you question the guard further, you learn that the poisoner was a servant girl. The guard doesn't know her name, but you don't need him to tell you.
It was her.

You stay sealed in that room all day as details trickle in. The assassination was a shoddy attempt at a poisoning. Belladonna in tea. The servant girl attempted to stab him after he detected the taste, but didn't even manage to wound him. He killed her on the spot. But servants don't become treasonous spontaneously; the entire staff is being examined to find the roots of this disloyalty. You're not told what the process involves, or how Father's doing.

You're not sure they'll find the root of Chae's disloyalty anywhere among the staff.

It takes Zuko almost an hour to ask the obvious question, and once he does it seems like a dam breaks. He repeats it, over and over, every time a new message from Father arrives. The guards never answer.

When you emerge from the bunker that evening, the palace feels emptier. There are far fewer servants in the halls.

And Mother is still nowhere to be found.

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)

He never says a word about her.

There are rumors in the court. The most common is that Lady Ursa was also poisoned in the assassination attempt on your father, and she is no longer making public appearances until she recovers. The second most common is that Lady Ursa is not ill, but is using an excuse to retire from politics because she never had much of a taste for it. There are some who whisper that Fire Lord Ozai actually just quietly divorced Lady Ursa, and she's now retired to a house on Ember Island. And you believe there are even some who whisper that Fire Lord Ozai actually had Lady Ursa killed outright for displeasing him somehow.

You suppose that if Mother's disappearance is buried under enough layers of rumors and half-truths, no one will entertain the notion that the Fire Lord's own wife may have been involved in the most recent attempt on his life. Even you aren't sure if it's a reasonable suspicion. Mother was a skilled herbalist, skilled enough that the Royal Physician - the former Royal Physician - respected her skills. If she wanted to poison Father, she likely could have done a better job of it.

But it makes no difference now. Father says nothing about her. There is no funeral for her, there is no bounty placed on her, there is no notice put out that she has been kidnapped. Nothing. She's gone.

You aren't sure how to feel. You aren't sure if you should be feeling something. She's just gone. It doesn't seem very real, like she could turn up again as easily as she left.

You still feel almost like you should feel something. Zuko certainly does. He seems depressed. Listless. Azula just throws herself into her training.

You...

...just try to be there for your siblings. Both of them. Like Mother never did. (23)
...focus on your training. Firebending is simple, and it's important, and you're perfect at it. You don't need any distractions. (13)
...double your efforts in your studies. You're the Crown Princess. Nothing else matters. You need to be perfect. (12)
...start trying to plan a trip out of the capital. Nothing is under control here. It's full of constant distractions. You need experience and you need out. (4)

96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Gardens

Zuko sits by Mother's favorite little pond in the gardens often. Sometimes it seems like it's all he does in his free time. You don't know why; he doesn't even bring a book, or meditate. When you join him, he usually doesn't say much.

"When is she going to come back?" Zuko asks quietly.

When he does speak, he usually doesn't ask questions that you can answer.

Tell him you're not sure if she will come back. (24)
Probably never. (11)
Tell him you don't know. (3)

What are you supposed to say? The best guess you have is probably that Father had her killed for being implicated somehow in Chae's assassination attempt. Even if Mother didn't plan anything, Chae might have stolen the belladonna from her. You're not sure where else she would have got it from.

Mother is probably dead. Or a fugitive. You'll probably never see her again. Or speak to her.

"I don't know if she will come back, Zuko," you say quietly, watching the turtleducks.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him ball his hands into fists.

"Of course you would say that," Zuko accuses. His voice already sounds watery. "You don't care. You and Azula never even talk about her. Mom is gone and nobody even cares."

What are you supposed to say? You guess you don't care, compared to him. How would you know if you did care?

Zuko hits the ground with his fist. "Say something!" he demands.

Tell him you care about him and Azula, and taking care of both of them is what matters to you now. (28)
+Elaborate on why things were the way they were between yourself and Ursa. (21)
Tell him you don't know how to feel. (2)
Tell him you do care, and hope Mother returns soon. (2)
Tell him you're sorry that he lost his mother, and you wish she was at least there for his sake. (1)

"I care about you and Azula, Zuko," you say quietly. "That's what matters to me."

"No, you don't care!" Zuko argues. "You don't care about Mom, or me, you just care about Azula and firebending and war meetings and dresses! You don't care! You never liked Mom and you're glad she's gone!"

He's practically yelling by the time he finishes. You stay still, let him vent.

Is he even wrong?

"What's wrong with you?" Zuko demands. He's crying. Just like Mom. "Why don't you care?"

You consider for a moment.

"Mother and I," you finally murmur, "have a complicated relationship."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zuko demands.

"We were distant for some time," you say quietly. "Mother always seemed to have a reason why she could only spend time with you."

"What are you talking about?" Zuko says defensively. "She spent time with you too. And now she's gone and you're already trying to blame her for -"

"I'm not blaming anyone," you say. "I'm only trying to answer your question."

"It's not Mom's fault you don't care about her," Zuko snaps.

He stands up, swiping angrily at his eyes.

"Zuko -" you say -

"Just leave me alone!" he bites out.

Zuko storms off, and for a moment you think of going after him. You could follow him, stop him, make him listen.

It didn't work when Mother tried that with you.

You stay in the garden and try to meditate.

* * * * *
96 AC (14 years old)
Royal Palace War Room

Weeks come and go, and the end of the year fast approaches. You feel like you're trapped in some sort of haze. Nothing you do is working right. You still can't get through to Zuko. Azula still doesn't talk much. Your firebending is sloppy and pathetic and your knowledge of history and strategy are woefully incomplete. You can feel eyes on you constantly, the entire court - and your entire family - watching you slip constantly farther and farther from perfection. You can feel it. You feel like you're slipping.

"We're experiencing greater unrest in the colonies," War Minister Qin is saying. "It seems dissident groups are spreading rumors about the new policies in the labor camps. Governor Lee believes the unrest could reach a dangerous level. Even Yu Dao is experiencing whispers of dissent."

"Governor Lee can handle unrest on his own," High General Bujing says dismissively. "He has enough soldiers for it. Why does he think he can bother us with this?"

You don't know why you're listening to this, either.

"The Governor reports that there are questions circulating among his subordinates about the new policies," War Minister Qin says. "They're wondering if the new policies may be causing more resistance than they're discouraging."

The fire between you and Father and the rest of the war council grows slightly. When you glance to your left, you can see the tightness in Father's expression. Anger.
It seems like he's always just barely holding back fury these days.

"The new policies will continue," Father snaps. "Every member of the Earth Kingdom is a threat to our nation and the war effort. Those who cannot be put to use working to support the war effort are useless to us and potentially useful to the enemy. They will be eliminated. Inform the Governor that if he cannot suppress dissent among his citizens and his subordinates, he will be replaced by someone who can."

"Of course, your Highness," War Minister Qin says smoothly. "I'll ensure he does not fail you again."

You suppose this is all the logical extension of Father's forced labor policies. Those who cannot work are only burdens as prisoners, and so they're no longer taken. They're killed rather than captured, or executed if they're already in camps. The executions are rare; most prisoners in the labor camps pass away before becoming old or disabled. But apparently it's causing some measure of dissent, even among loyal colonial citizens.

You...

Think this is even more misguided than the forced labor policy was in the first place. Father is quickly ensuring that the people of the Earth Kingdom will never accept their place under the Fire Nation's rule. (41)
Think that this goes against the purpose of the war. You cannot reeducate or uplift savages who are *dead*. (28)
Understand that Father is simply attempting to be logical and calculating about his approach to the conquered. Father never allows threats to persist when he sees them. (4)
Simply feel apathetic towards Father's actions in the course of the war. This is not your decision to make yet. (3)

You thought the forced labor policy was misguided to begin with, but this is even worse. The people of the Earth Kingdom have been propagandized for a century to make them believe that wallowing in filth is preferable to allowing progress to take place, and now Father is practically going out of his way to give them an actual reason to hate the Fire Nation. It's - misguided is a gentle way to put it. These executions - particularly of the elders and the disabled - are the sort of actions that can create resentment for centuries.

Of course you can't say any of this out loud. So what difference does it make?

"Lastly, we have excellent news from the front," War Minister Qin says, drawing your attention back to the meeting. He directs a triumphant smirk around the room, preening. "We've received word of the results of our 'tank' field tests. Resounding successes, across the board. The earthbenders are practically helpless against our new weapon."

The room fills with interested murmurs as the generals begin passing around schematics and reports. You hold still and wait; you'll look over the reports once they reach Father. 'Tanks' are a new invention the War Minister's office has provided to the military; effectively, they're metal land-ships that allow firebending soldiers to move across a battlefield and attack with impunity. You've seen some of the schematics before. They're certainly interesting devices. A reminder of the kind of ingenuity and innovation that the Fire Nation will be able to share with the world once the war is settled.

"Very good," Father says, satisfied. "If they have been as successful as you say, you will have your factories for further production. And you are cleared to begin development of the next stage."

The next stage - the drill. War Minister Qin raised the idea a month ago; a scaled-up version of the tank, designed to pierce through the wall of Ba Sing Se. Ambitious. But if it works, it could eliminate the need for the Comet's power to end the war at all.

After the meeting ends, you...

Excuse yourself as soon as it would be polite to do so, and focus on your own training. (37)
Speak with War Minister Qin about his office's technological developments; you have a scholarly and practical interest in such inventions. (21)
Socialize with the generals and ministers, as usual. Having their respect is always at the top of your list of priorities as Crown Princess. (7)

* * * * *
97 AC (15 years old)
Royal Palace Training Grounds

The new year and your birthday come and go. You make your customary public appearances, performing your duty as perfectly as you possibly can. And then you return to your training, as has been your habit for weeks. You still do your best to be there for Azula and Zuko - you aren't going to just give up on them, you're not Mother - but you have to train. You need to be better. You can't keep constantly making excuses for your own imperfections.

But progress is slow. Frustrating. Lo and Li are proving themselves to be useless sycophants, so unwilling to criticize you that they rarely ever offer any advice on how to improve your forms. And there's little left in the way of new forms for you to learn. You just need to refine them - and you need to refine them beyond what Lo and Li can teach you.

You still meditate often. It helps. You feel like you desperately need to re-center yourself. But aside from helping you feel better, you're not sure how best to use your meditation. You...

Try to think through your recent emotions and the changes in your life. (30)
Focus on the physical flow of energy through your body and the places it's centered on, like you were before. (21)

Fire is the element of will. You've always kept your will strong and clear by staying detached, above everything, clear-headed. But you've been letting yourself fail in that, lately. You let Mother get under your skin constantly. You've been slipping ever since she disappeared. It's unacceptable. You need to get control of yourself again.

How, though? What's actually wrong? Your will is as strong as ever, isn't it? You've just had one mess thrown at you after another, one change after another. It's just distracting. It's been throwing you off.

You need to get better at maintaining your self-control and detachment in the face of change. You need to become more adaptable. You're the Crown Princess; it's your duty to be able to handle anything that faces you or your country.

But telling yourself that over and over isn't going to actually make it happen. So what do you do? When your detachment is failing you, and you're tugged in a dozen different directions by the changes around you, how do you stay afloat?

Concentrate on your ambition to rule. One day, you will bring the nations together and usher the golden age. Right now the nations are at war and your father is an inefficient leader. The world needs a strong leader and that's where you come in. Mastering your inner fire is a necessity to gain your people's respect. Focus on that and all else will come together. (38)
You have more than just detachment; you have a solid rooting, things and goals you care about. You have your sister, and your brother, and your birthright. These things can keep you rooted when you're being buffeted on every side. (34)
Sometimes it's a waste of energy to try to detach yourself from everything that pulls at you. Try to make peace with it. Try to find satisfaction in whatever good things you can, and try to let go of your worries about past failures. (18)
You need to cut distractions out of your life and your mind. Try to cut away useless emotions and focus on the now, on whatever task you have at hand. (6)

You are still the Crown Princess. You have the divine right to rule and you always will. And that should also extend into your own life. As long as you focus on that, on strengthening your inner flame, nothing can hold you down.

That's what Father would say.

You pour your effort into that, into coaxing your inner flame to grow stronger. You cultivate your anger at the state of the world and envision all the things you'll do once you rule it. You try to attune yourself to your ancestors, to call upon their rage as you've been taught.

You wonder how your ancestor Azulon feels about that.

Regardless, you feel like you're making some slow progress at honing your firebending. There's always more to learn and more ways to refine your skills if you try hard enough. The forms are just starting points; knowing how to perform them adequately doesn't mean you've learned all there is to learn. You focus on getting faster, making your blasts bigger, improving your stamina. And you think you make some gains.

It still feels frustrating. The palace feels like a shadow's been cast over it. Everyone seems quieter, more sluggish, more listless. You can understand it from the servants; half of the staff is new, now, and all of them have to work harder. There are fewer of them. But Azula and Zuko still seem quieter. And your friends hardly help. Mitsuko has been able to visit less often recently, and Mai has always been rather dour. But even Ty Lee seems depressed lately. It's absurd.

But none of that matters to you. It doesn't affect you. You are the Crown Princess, and you are renewing your commitment to being perfect in your role. Your will is your fire and it blazes as brightly as ever.

And Azula still hasn't managed to beat you in a spar.

"Thank you for aiding me in my training, little sister," you tell Azula, bowing. She scowls, brushing herself off.

"Yes, you're welcome," she snaps irritably. "Though I'm not even sure what the point of this is anymore. We both know you could use lightning in a real fight. Even if I beat you like this, it doesn't mean anything."

Tell her that you enjoy competing with her and sparring with her nonetheless. (35)
+"You shouldn't rely on 1 trick to win you every fight. If i came accross a foe who countered lightning, I'd look rather foolish if everything else was subpar" (29)
Tell her that not every fight ends with someone's death. (19)
Tell her you aren't sparring to practice fighting each other. You're practicing so that others won't be able to beat either of you. (2)

"I do still need to develop my skills aside from lightning, Azula," you answer. "If I were to face an enemy too fast to give me a chance to create lightning, or needed to destroy something unaffected by lightning, it would not do for me to allow my other skills to atrophy." She grunts. "And besides," you continue. "I enjoy our spars and competition. You always drive me to greater heights."

"Yes, yes, I'm your muse," Azula says, waving her hand dismissively. She seems a little mollified, though. "We'll see how much higher you can go before I beat you."

You incline your head, smiling slightly. "I'm sure we will."

The two of you cool down from your training by jogging and then stretching. You talk idly about your firebending forms as you stretch, and -

Azula abruptly hisses in pain as she stretches up, one hand going towards her abdomen.

You freeze mid-sentence.

"I'm fine," Azula grunts, scowling. She returns to stretching. "Pulled a muscle. Stupid."

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

The servant girl - that night, she was injured, when she tried to stretch -

Take Azula aside and check her for injuries RIGHT NOW. (37)
+ Don't freak out. Try to stay calm (27)
Stop it. It's nothing. Azula is fine. You're imagining things. Don't pester her. (11)

"Azula " you say quietly, "Are you hurt?"

"No!" She scowls. "It's a pulled muscle, Akane. I'm fine."

She's hiding it from you. Of course she is. She can't seem weak. Not in front of Father. Not with him being like he is.

"Could I check, Azula?" you ask. Calmly. You're going to remain calm.

Azula scoffs at you. "Akane, I'm fine. There's nothing to check."

There is absolutely something to check and she doesn't want you to see it.

What did he do to her? Did he burn her? Did he hit her? Did he...?

"I'd like to see just to make sure," you say, stepping closer. "Where does it hurt?"

"I'm fine," Azula repeats, glaring at you. "Stop it. I'm fine."

She's lying. He did something. He did it. He did it.

"Azula, I'd like to check to make sure," you insist calmly. "Please let me see."

He burned her for not learning fast enough. Or he hit her for displeasing him. Or - or - if he touched her, if he had enough of servants and decided -

You'll kill him.

"No," Azula snaps. "I'm fine. What is your problem?"

"Azula, let me see," you tell her, voice steady and firm. "Please."

You'll kill him.

You'll murder him.

Did he think you wouldn't? Did he think he'd get away with this? You'll kill him. He touched Azula, you'll kill him.

"There's nothing to see!" Azula snaps. "I pulled a muscle! Why are you freaking out?"

Poison won't work and cornering him won't work like it did with Azulon, he'll be on guard against those. A training accident while you're working on lightning, that's how you'll do it. You'll have one free shot and that'll be all you need.

"I am not 'freaking out', Azula," you say calmly. "Please, just let me make sure you're not injured."

"I'm telling you I'm not," Azula says. "I can handle a stupid pulled muscle, Akane."

"I'm sure you can handle a pulled muscle, Azula," you say. "Please just let me check. I'm not 'freaking out.'"

Did he honestly think he would get away with this? You killed his father, why wouldn't you kill yours too?

"Whatever," Azula says. She starts to walk towards the exit. "I'm going to the library."

You gently catch her arm. "Azula, please let me see."

"Why do you need to check it?" she snaps. "It's just a pulled muscle!"

"Let me check, Azula!"

"Fine!"

Azula wrests her arm away from you and pulls up her shirt to show her stomach. She turns to show her back, too.

There's nothing there.

There aren't any marks on her skin.

No burns or bruises.

She's fine.

"I thought you were hurt," you mumble quietly.

"I told you, I just pulled a muscle in my side!" Azula spits out, lowering her shirt again. "What is wrong with you? You're acting just like Mom."

Oh.

Azula storms out of the room.

You thought she was hurt. You were mistaken.

Why did you...

Is there something wrong with you? Are you becoming paranoid?

You were ready to kill Father over an imagined slight. It runs in the family, doesn't it?

What's wrong with you?

There's something wrong with you. You were thinking just like Azulon. You need to stop this. You need to fix this. (39)
+...You need to see Mitsuko and calm down. (20)
Nothing's wrong with you. Stop overreacting to everything. You're *fine*, you're not insane, Azula's fine, everyone's fine. (16)

* * * * *
97 AC (15 years old)
Royal Palace: Crown Princess's Chambers

"What are you reading?" Mitsuko asks as she brushes your hair. "I don't recognize that book."

A Study of Illnesses of the Mind, by Cao Liu.

"Just light reading," you murmur.

Being with her is soothing. It helps you think. You need to calm down, take things rationally, and think.

You suspect that Azulon was insane at the end; maybe it was a temporary episode brought on by grief and rage, but maybe not. And you know insanity is hereditary. But this research says that insanity is just a disease like any other, it can be managed and cured. If someone has it at all. It would be overreacting to conclude that you have it, but if you did, there would be options. You could handle it.

It's just something to be aware of.

"Are you okay?" Mitsuko asks quietly.

"I'm fine," you say, turning the page. "Thank you for your concern."

The research says that women are especially susceptible to hysteria; it can be brought on by stress. Maybe that's why you panicked. There's a coup or an assassination attempt practically every year now, it's potentially true that you've been under considerable stress.

Especially since you committed one of those coups.

"I, um, I don't want to presume..."

"You never need to worry about presumption with me, Mitsuko," you murmur.

You feel her fingers run through your hair. It's soothing.

"You've seemed kind of depressed since, um... since Lady Ursa stopped making public appearances," Mitsuko says quietly.

No. You don't miss her. You're just worried that you're not being a good enough sister to Zuko and Azula now that Mother's gone. (27)
+ Hug the Mitsuko. You need the physical affection. Hug her tight. (36)
No. Mother has nothing to do with any of this. You're admittedly stressed, but you've washed your hands of her. (21)
No. You don't miss her. You're just still angry that she lied to you so many times, about so much, while making you think she wanted to finally fix things with you. (8)

"It's not that," you tell her. "I don't miss her. I just worry that I'm not doing enough for my siblings now that she's gone. I don't think my approach has been working."

Mitsuko is still, and doesn't answer.

"Mitsuko?" you ask, looking at her in the mirror.

"Sorry," she says immediately. She begins brushing your hair again.

"What is it?" you ask.

"Sorry," she says again. "I just... I didn't expect you to say that."

You frown. "My siblings mean a great deal to me, Mitsuko." Even Zuko.

"I know! I just -" She bites her lip. "You really don't miss your mom?" she asks quietly. "Not at all?"

She seems almost shocked. You suppose you did say that, but... why should she be that shocked?

Tell her that no, you don't. You were never close and you were never going to be close. (22)
+ "She was a failure as a parent. Left me all to myself when I was younger and then told me lies when I tried to reach out." (23)
+ she wasn't really a mother to me ever since I was... eight? (11)
Tell her that you suppose you miss her a little, but you just have more important concerns. (14)
My relationship with mother has always been strained, her appearing in my life always came with much more ... drama, than I enjoyed. Her distance made me get over her long before she physically disappeared. (7)
Tell her that you do miss her, of course, as any daughter would, but you just don't dwell on such things. (2)

You consider for a moment.

"No," you answer. "I don't."

"Oh," Mitsuko says.

She keeps shooting glances at you in the mirror as she brushes your hair.

"We were never close," you explain. "And were not likely to be."

"Okay," Mitsuko says quietly.

She's quiet for a moment.

"I knew you weren't that close," she eventually mumbles. "I just thought... she's your mom."

Is she? Was she?

"She hadn't really been my mother since I was a child," you say. "She just tried to make me think she was."

Mitsuko nods quietly, and continues brushing your hair. You watch her as she does.

"She left me alone practically all my life," you add neutrally. "And tried to turn Father against me, because she was fighting with him. She lied constantly, every time we had an important talk. I don't think she ever told me the truth. She still expected me to love her, though."

Mitsuko nods quietly. Her arms wrap around your waist from behind. She presses against you, her chest snug against your back and her arms tight around you.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"Hugging you," she murmurs.

You allow it.

"I gave her every chance to make amends," you say. If there's anyone you can tell about this, it's Mitsuko. "Constantly. I constantly gave her chances. Sometimes it seemed like she was actually trying. But there was always a catch. She was always lying about something. And then she'd get upset when she got caught. She was more concerned with making me think she loved me than she was with - whatever mothers are supposed to do."

Mitsuko nods, her arms tightening slightly. It's not uncomfortable.

"It sounds like she betrayed you," she says quietly.

"She did!" you answer. "Multiple times! And she hid it from me every time, and - she was very skilled at making me give her second chances. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for me to be so easily manipulated."

"She's your mom," Mitsuko mumbles. "I'd do anything to have a mom, too."

"I don't need a mother," you say. "I've never needed one. She was just very good at convincing me so."

You shake your head and pick up the brush and start working on your own hair. Mitsuko stays wrapped around you. It's acceptable.

"And now I have to clean up her mess," you continue. "I have to take care of Azula and Zuko. And that's on top of everything else. My firebending is slipping -"

"Akane, your firebending is literally perfect," Mitsuko interrupts quietly, frowning. "I've seen you practice. Lo and Li look like they're lost just trying to keep up with you anymore, and they're supposed to be the best firebending scholars, like, ever."

"They're too afraid to criticize me," you snort. "Everyone is. Why would anyone criticize me? Every flaw I have that they notice and I don't is a weapon they can use against me, or against Father."

Mitsuko frowns and rests her head on your shoulder. "I think you're too hard on yourself, Akane," she says. "You've always been too hard on yourself."

She always says this. Mitsuko is just biased in your favor.

"I can't afford to be lax with myself," you say. "I'm coming of age soon. Soon I'll need to take up a military or administrative position. And marry."

Mitsuko's quiet for a moment, looking down. You watch her in the mirror.

"Maybe that's not so bad," she says eventually. She meets your gaze in the mirror. "Getting a position, I mean. I think getting out of the capital would be really good for you. Um, if that's okay for me to say."

"You can always speak freely with me," you tell her. She nods, and purses her lips.

"You know, Yu Dao is supposed to have the best steel in the world," she says quietly. "And I haven't made my sword yet."

You frown. "I've been meaning to ask you about that," you say. "Shouldn't you have made it by now?"

"I was waiting for you," she says.

She turns to look at you, and you turn too.

Your faces are incredibly close. Her eyes meet yours. You can see every detail.

Somehow, she manages to look perfect without any effort at all.

"I'm forging the sword for you, right?" she asks quietly. You can feel her breath on your lips. "To use for you. You should be there with me." She swallows. "Right?" she asks.

You give a small nod.

"I know your father doesn't want you to come to our family home," she says. "But I don't have to forge my sword there. So, if we went somewhere, together..."

"That sounds reasonable," you whisper.

She smiles brightly. She has a very nice smile. You don't remember the last time you saw it this close.

Mother thought you were a violent, sick homosexual. She thought you would hurt Mitsuko. Mitsuko. And she even made you worry she was right.

"It's up to you," Mitsuko says quietly. "I'll be with you, no matter what you decide to do. Stay here, go tour the colonies, go fight the Earth Kingdom, hunt the Avatar." You snort, and she smiles wider. "Anything."

"Thank you," you say, voice tight.

This is what family is supposed to be like. You know because Mother always told you so, even if she never showed it. No matter how many times she said she would.

"Thank you," Mitsuko answers quietly.

She opens her mouth again, then abruptly turns to look at the mirror. You blink, her hair suddenly in your face.

"So," she says. "What do you want to do, Akane?"

-----
The session ended there with an open box for writing in ideas for short- and long-term plans. If anyone has any feedback for what they think Akane should do or any feedback for me as the author, I appreciate it! Thank you for reading <3

foamy · Oct 6, 2018

Yu3kino said:
IC, Akane herself is still in denial about being lesbian. She also doesn't attract to azula like how she is to mitsuko yet. She does genuinely love and trust azula as a family though while waifuing is mostly us voters pushing it. Still, Azula have imply to want akane to be her concubine if azula end up as the firelord and she might be a little yandere for akane.

Aigloss said:
Unfortunately for you, this quest is hosted on fiction.live which has almost no rules about NSFW stuff. Soo... ya know while wanting to keep it out of SV is okay, don't jump on others that want it

alert I realize this is a bit late, but just so we're absolutely crystal clear on this, regardless of what flies elsewhere, slavering after underage incest on SV will get a response to make Ozai jealous.

So don't.

kosm · Oct 12, 2018

Hey all! ^_^ Here's the next chunk of story, from last night. Thanks so much for reading! <3

---

You and Mitsuko sit and talk through the evening, trading ideas and plans.

Obviously, she needs to forge her sword, and you need to be there for it. The only complicating factor is the arbitrary politics and appearances involved around her father, since he needs to be present as well. Piandao is forbidden from leaving the country, and you're certain Father won't want to give him the honor of hosting royalty at his estate. The politics of the court have frankly been rather unstable in the years since his ascension, and you doubt he'll want to be seen to grant a degree of favor to a man who was once guilty of treason.

But it's not an insurmountable problem. If you and Mitsuko went to Yu Dao, Father might be convinced to allow Piandao to come with you. It's still in the Fire Nation, after all, just overseas. And if the official purpose of Piandao traveling to Yu Dao was to serve as your bodyguard, it might neutralize any backlash in the court - having a man of his legendary skill serve as a humble guard for the royal family would bring more prestige to you than to him. The court would see it as Father showing off his control over Piandao, rather than him showing favor to a man who got away with being disloyal to Azulon. It could work, if Piandao was willing. Mitsuko says he would be. And besides, visiting Yu Dao would certainly be a useful experience for you. You could see the crown of the Fire Nation's colonies, learn more about the efforts to uplift those formerly of the Earth Kingdom, and perhaps get some practical experience by helping them deal with the dissent being caused by Father's policies.

The issue, though, is what your siblings will do while you're away.

You have no desire to abandon them - either of them. They've both had enough of abandonment for a lifetime, even Zuko. You could ask Father to send them both with you, under your care, but you don't know how he'd react. Sending all three of his children overseas while he remains in the capital might raise eyebrows. Or invite assassination attempts. Maybe if you were going to Ember Island instead, it'd be easy to get Father to allow you to take your siblings with you, but then it might be much harder to get permission to go in the first place. Now is no time for a simple vacation, you have too much to learn and practice. But you can't just leave Azula behind. Not now.

Maybe you could at least talk Father into letting Azula go with you. You two always train together anyways, you push each other to be better... But leaving Zuko behind would just cement the idea he has that you don't really care about him.

What should you do?

Ask Father about arranging a separate trip for Zuko while you and Azula visit Yu Dao. (18)
+Ask Azula if she would like to join first before making a decision. (16)
+Explain to Zuko that your trying to help him find something that interests him, you enjoy experimental bending, Azula loves the thought of war and now your trying to find something for him starting with machines/machinery but if thats not to his tastes he can try something else afterwards. (10)
Ask Father's permission to go to Yu Dao with Mitsuko, Piandao, and Azula. (16)
Ask Father's permission to go to Yu Dao with Mitsuko and Piandao as bodyguards, leaving your siblings home. (10)
Ask Father's permission to go to Yu Dao with Mitsuko, Piandao, and both your siblings. (8)
Ask Father's permission to arrange a short vacation to Ember Island. (2)

97 AC (15 years old)
Fire Lord's Study

Mitsuko runs your plan by her father and gets his agreement, and you run it by Azula and get hers. She still seems annoyed with you over... what happened the other day. But she says getting out of 'this stuffy palace' and 'putting down rebellions in our colonies' would be interesting. You even idly run the idea of getting out of the capital by Zuko, and he shrugs and says he guesses it might be nice to go on a trip somewhere sometime.

So now Father's the only one left to convince.

You ask for an audience with him when you're ready, and he makes time to see you in his study the next day. You arrive promptly, and a servant you don't recognize lets you in.

You hate this room.

"Princess Akane," Father says. His eyes flick up at you as you bow, then back down to the ledger on his desk. "You had something to discuss with me?"

"Yes, Father," you say, straightening. "I believe it may be time for me to begin acquiring practical experience outside the palace."

Father sets aside his brush and gestures for the servant to leave. She bows and rushes out of the room.

"I take it you have something specific in mind," Father says.

"I do," you answer. "I've never visited the colonies, and we currently have an issue with governors failing to properly manage dissent there. A visit to Yu Dao would allow me to correct both of these failings."

He taps his finger on the desk. "Your training and studies must not be allowed to lapse."

Excellent. That means he has no other real objections. Now to convince him that Azula should come along.

"Of course, Father," you answer. "As a matter of fact, I thought I might bring Lo and Li with me, both to continue my training and to advise me as I learn about the colonies' administration. If Azula came with me, they could continue working with her at the same time, and she could benefit from an early start learning about the colonies as well."

"So you want to take Azula with you," he says flatly. "Is there anyone else you'd like to add to your expedition?"

In other words, get to the point.

"I would bring Mitsuko along as my handmaiden," you say. "And I would also like to arrange to have her father accompany me as my bodyguard."

Father raises an eyebrow. "The mighty Piandao, serving as a humble guard?"

"His daughter is quite devoted to me." As devoted and caring as any member of your family ever has been. "Protecting me is the same as protecting her. He will be quite willing."

"And I suppose you'll want Zuko to come with you, to continue his lessons as well?" Father asks.

"It is of course your decision where Zuko would do the most good, Father," you answer. "I have spoken with him and mentioned the idea of getting practical experience outside the palace, and he seems interested in the idea. He could accompany us to Yu Dao, or perhaps travel elsewhere -"

"No," Father interrupts, shaking his head. "No, there's no need to send all three of you off at once. If you and Azula travel to Yu Dao, Zuko will remain here and learn. It's long past time he stopped wallowing in his weakness."

A part of you doubts that Father's approach to Zuko will be especially productive, frankly, which is exactly why you didn't want to leave him in the palace alone. But it sounds like Father's at least seriously considering letting you take Azula with you...

Should you try to press harder for Zuko, or take what you can get?

Just focus on getting permission to take Azula with you. Zuko will be fine at home. (22)
+"Life at home leads to contentment. I thought that having an outward mission would help temper Zuko into a more competent warrior or general." (11)
Respectfully suggest places Zuko could go to learn and possibly shake himself out of his slump. (15)
Respectfully suggest that you could take Zuko with you and hopefully get him started on the right track under your tutelage. You've had some success tutoring him in firebending before. (4)

"Of course, Father," you say, inclining your head respectfully. "I had only suggested it because I thought that time away from the comfort of the palace may help temper him. If there is any way I can be of assistance in his education, I am at your service."

Sorry, Zuko. But it's not that bad. He's just staying at home in the palace, it's fine. Maybe things will even improve between him and Father now that Mother's gone. You never know.

You're sorry.

"He will learn here, where I can ensure he is not being coddled," Father says. You keep your expression still. "Now, enough. If you wish to go to Yu Dao, prove that you've prepared enough to make your trip useful."

The next part is easy. Father drills you for some time on your knowledge of Yu Dao and the colonies in general. You answer his questions without difficulty. Yu Dao is the oldest colony in the Earth Kingdom, established even before the war began. As a matter of fact, its establishment likely hastened the war - it showed the uneducated people of the Earth Kingdom that a better way of life was possible, and for that reason the Earth King felt threatened enough to try to 'reclaim' land that had previously been empty. Regardless, Yu Dao has never been captured by enemy forces, and in its one hundred years of existence it has grown into a flourishing outpost of the Fire Nation. Its main industry is steel; it takes the raw materials produced by the mines and camps throughout the colonies and transforms them into top-quality metal and weaponry to fuel the continuing war effort. It has a major port and shipyard, though it does more work repairing ships than building new ones. A university was established there during Azulon's reign, the first real institute of higher learning on that continent.

Yu Dao is also noteworthy for having successfully integrated natives and settlers into a harmonious, civilized whole. Everyone born in Yu Dao enjoys Fire Nation citizenship, though obviously disloyal or countercultural conduct can result in it being stripped away. Intermarriage between colonists and natives is allowed, and so is the practice of earthbending, so long as it is not used for illegal or antisocial purposes. Mayor Morishita, the current administrator of Yu Dao, even has an earthbender wife from a respectable, well-off native family. Their daughter can also earthbend. Earthbending scouts and specialists from Yu Dao, vetted for loyalty, even occasionally serve in the Fire Nation military. There are still some issues with the native population - they commit more crimes, are more often vagrants or unemployed, and so on - but in general Morishita and his predecessors have done an excellent job keeping Yu Dao running smoothly and putting down the occasional cell of Earth Kingdom rebels. It seems that they may need to do so again, now, judging by the reports of increasing dissent.

Eventually, Father seems satisfied with your knowledge.

"We'll see how you perform in your firebending training the next few days," he says. "And then I'll make my decision."

You bow. "I will not disappoint you, Father."

"See to it you don't."

* * * * *
97 AC (15 years old)
Royal Palace: Crown Princess's Chambers

You push yourself as hard as you can in training. Within a few days, Father gives his approval for you and Azula to go. You inform your siblings - Zuko takes the news without comment and leaves to practice with his broadswords, and Azula seems excited - and then celebrate by training harder. Yu Dao may be an established colony far from the front lines, but it's still got one fewer ocean between it and the war. You might have to deal with assassins. You'll have Mitsuko and Piandao as guards, certainly, but you still can't afford to take any risks. Not with Azula there, too. You need to be faster, more precise, more elusive. More deadly. It gives you new direction in your training. You improvise and invent new moves and forms, trying to imagine what would be the most efficient ways possible to evade and kill any assassins coming after you or your sister.

At night, you study in your room, trying to find flaws in earthbending forms, weaknesses that you'll be able to exploit in combat. It's difficult to predict what weaknesses you might be able to use - you don't have any actual combat experience against earthbenders yet - but there are a couple simple principles that stand out. Stay off the ground when possible, obviously. Attack from above when possible; their blocks tend to rely on bringing walls out of the ground. At the same time, go for their lower body when you can, to disrupt their bending. Their attacks can be predicted by watching them, like any other bender. If they swing down at the ground, expect the attack to come either from directly beneath you or in a line from them to you; dodge horizontally. If they swing at a wall or move their arms side-to-side, you can expect horizontal attacks and should dodge by moving forward, backwards, or vertically. At least, that's what you think. You'll see if your theories hold up in practice.

Maybe Lu Ten's letters and Uncle's book will turn out to be good for something after all.

Your reading is interrupted by the door opening. You're on your feet by the time you can see who's there.

"Zuko," you greet him, inclining your head politely. "How are you this evening, little brother?"

Zuko just looks up at you for a moment.

"You're really just leaving me here?" he asks quietly.

Tell him you asked permission to take him with you, but Father didn't want to send all three of you away at once. (35)
+Tell him that father insisted it be him to stay. (32)
+"Whatever you do, never argue with father." (23)
+Hug (22)
Tell him Father wanted to spend more time grooming him as prince. It'll be a good opportunity for him. (20)
+ Tell him you'll take him with you on the next trip. (17)
"...father doesn't think you're strong. He thought bringing you along would just make you weaker. We won't be gone for long, just until Mitsuko can get her sword made, and then we'll be back and-" Pause, look like you're going to pat him on the shoulder, then stop, then put your hand at your side again. "I'll help you train some more. I promise." (10)
+"Besides, didn't you say that I should leave you alone?" *Mic drop* (9)

Ah.

"I asked Father to allow you to come with us, but he thought it would be unwise to send all of us overseas together," you say. "He was concerned for our safety. He asked that you remain here."

Zuko looks up and meets your eyes. His expression can't quite decide if it's defiant or about to cry.

"You wanted to take Azula with you," he accuses. "Not me."

"Zuko..."

"You don't care."

"I do care," you say gently. "Father just -"

"You can't just blame it on Father," Zuko tells you. "You're the one leaving."

"I am only leaving for a few months, Zuko."

"You're running away with Azula and Mitsuko to do things you actually care about and you're leaving me here!" Zuko snaps. "You keep pretending you care but you never do anything except talk -"

"Zuko, I do care -"

"Then why are you leaving?"

Because you need out of this palace, because Mitsuko needs to forge her sword, because you won't even be gone for long, because your life doesn't revolve around Zuko -

"It is my duty to gain more experience in rulership," you answer.

"You want to go have fun with Azula and Mitsuko and get away from me," Zuko challenges.

He's tearing up. You step closer, but he backs away. "That isn't the case, Zuko," you say. Zuko shakes his head. "It's a short trip, and you'll be safe here in the palace. Just do as Father says and focus on your studies, and we can see about having our own trip together later."

His fists ball up at his sides. He squeezes his eyes shut, but tears still leak out.

He always cries. Just like Mother.

"For a little bit, I thought maybe you actually did care," he bites out. "I thought I was being stupid when I yelled at you, and you at least tried to be there, and I should say something to you."

He... "Zuko, I -"

"Now I'm glad I didn't," he snaps. "Because you're just leaving me behind. At least when Mom left it wasn't because she wanted to."

You hold yourself still and keep your expression neutral. Is that what he thinks of you? He thinks you're as bad as Mother, or worse? Mother lied through her teeth to you all your life, she put you in danger, she left you alone to spend time with the child she actually cared about -

You are nothing like her. You are nothing like her and you never will be. You will never -

"You're nothing like Mom," Zuko spits. "And you never will be."

Your mouth opens slightly.

"I hope you have fun with Azula on your trip," he snaps.

He turns and starts to stomp out of your room. After a half-second of hesitation, you quickly grab his wrist.

"Akane, stop -"

You turn him around and pull him into a tight hug. He lets out a quiet sob before shutting his mouth and going quiet.

"Zuko, you are my little brother," you say quietly. "I do care about you. No matter what."

He doesn't say anything. He just holds still for a second, and then pulls away.

* * * * *

97 AC (15 years old)
At Sea

You've never been at sea this long. It's... uncomfortable. Training on a ship, with the floor constantly shifting underneath you in barely-perceptible ways, is a nightmare. Everyone seems to adapt to it better than you do; you watch Mitsuko and her father spar one morning and they look like a work of art. Your forms are so sloppy that even those sycophants Lo and Li have actual corrections for you. If someone were to attack your ship, or sabotage it, or sneak an assassin on board - it's an unacceptable weakness. But you don't know how to correct it, aside from just training harder. Which nearly makes you sick. Mitsuko provides you with a special blend of tea that she says helps with seasickness, but it doesn't make enough of a difference.

You end up going to bed early rather often. It's stupid, you feel tired even though you're not getting anything done. Sleeping is difficult when you constantly feel nauseous.

You're lying in bed one night, trying to fall asleep, when your door quietly creaks open. Before you can worry about assassins, Azula slips into your room. Even in the dark, you recognize her form.

"Azula?" you ask quietly.

She walks over to your bed and sits down on it. You prop yourself up.

"Do you think there are people listening in on us here, too?" Azula whispers.

'Too'? You suppose there are likely almost always people listening in on you while you're in the royal palace, but right now you're at sea... Maybe Father could have ordered servants in the ship's staff to listen in on you somehow, but you don't know how or why they would do that.

Get out pen and paper. No one can listen in if we don't talk. (27)
+"...we could hide under the covers if you aren't totally sure." (17)
Tell Azula you can likely speak freely here, for now. (15)
Tell Azula it's always best to be cautious; the walls always have ears. (7)

You think for a moment, then slip out of bed to get some paper, ink, and brushes.

"I don't know if anyone's listening," you whisper, "But that's not a problem. Come here."

You end up sitting together on your bed, under your blanket, with the writing supplies arrayed between you. You light a tiny flame in your palm and hold it in your lap - and give Azula an unamused look when she 'accidentally' nudges the inkwell towards you.

"That's a nice robe," Azula whispers, smirking.

"Yes, it is," you whisper back. "It would be a shame if something were to happen to it."

Azula snorts. You smile.

"What did you want to discuss, little sister?" you ask her.

The mirth fades from her expression. She picks up a brush and starts to write in small, tight little characters.

What happened to Mother?

...Mother? You had thought she might ask to finally get the details about Azulon, not her.

She watches you as you consider the question. You keep your expression neutral.

It makes sense, you suppose. Azula doesn't know what you discovered about Mother's betrayal, and has no idea about the servant; from her perspective, Mother really might have been being honest about wanting to make things better, and disappeared while she was still trying to spend more time with you both. Azula did seem at least a little pleased by Mother's supposed attempt to make things better, perhaps. Not that Azula needed Mother, neither of you did.

Does Azula miss her? Are you not enough to take care of her?

Azula frowns and taps the paper insistently.

Tell Azula that Mother was a friend of the servant who attempted to kill Father, and tell her what Father was doing to the servant. Leave out what Mother did to you. (24)
Tell Azula everything. Tell her about your conversations with Father and Mother, about the servant girl, Mother's betrayal of you, and the last confrontation you had with her. (15)
+Tell her you think, in the end, Ursa did try to make up for her mistakes as a mother. She did want to be a good mother to Azula too. No matter what arguments we had with her. (8)
+Ask if she misses her. (5)
Tell Azula that Mother was a friend of the servant who attempted to kill Father. Don't tell her about what Mother did to you, or about what Father did to the servant. (1)

What Mother did to you... it's not directly relevant to what happened to her. Azula doesn't need to be distracted by your issues with Mother when she's asking a specific question. If she were to ask, specifically, you could tell her then. If necessary.

You take a brush and start to write. It's a long story; you try to shorten it into a few concise lines.

Father was using the servant who attempted to kill him as a concubine.

He was badly burning and beating her in the process.

I do not know why.

Mother was treating her wounds in secret.

I do not know why.

I do not think Mother was involved in the assassination attempt; I think the servant acted alone and spontaneously after being abused.

Father likely simply seized on the opportunity to get rid of her. He had wanted Mother gone for some time.

I do not know if Mother disappeared because she fled the capital, was banished, or was killed. I do not know if she is alive.

You think that sums up everything relevant. Azula reads over what you've written a few times, frowning. She looks up at you for a moment, then takes the brush herself.

I heard Mother trying to get into your room that night.

Ah. She heard.

"I was angry at her, and didn't want to speak," you whisper.

"Why?" Azula whispers back.

Because Mother betrayed you years ago, and you'd only just gotten a chance to get angry at her for it that night. Because Mother didn't deserve to just act like everything was okay without ever having to face what she did to you. Because you'd had enough of Mother's lies and secrets and wanted to cut her out of your life before the next one reared its head.

But Azula hasn't made that choice yet. Azula almost looks like she misses Mother. Are you not enough? If you tell Azula why you were so angry at Mother, are you protecting her? Or taking something away from her?

Tell Azula you and Mother had a fight over something very personal, and you just would rather not talk about it right now. Maybe another night. (26)
Mother and Father had been fighting behind our backs for quite some time. One of mother's actions dragged me into the fight. I am not sure if it was an accident or on purpose. I was angry at her for it. Tell her the broadest strokes but not the details. (9)
Tell Azula what Mother did. (8)
Tell Azula you were angry over nothing important, just one of the usual annoying things Mother did. You regret overreacting. (1)

You're quiet for a moment.

"We had a fight," you whisper. "It was over something very personal."

"What?" Azula whispers, pushing the paper towards you.

You don't know what the right thing to say is.

"I would prefer not to discuss it right now," you whisper, looking away. "I'm sorry. Perhaps another night."

Azula's quiet for a moment. You practically hold your breath. If she presses you...

"Fine," she whispers back.

You look at her. The blanket over you both shifts as she shrugs.

"Thank you, little sister," you whisper.

She shrugs again.

"It's getting late," you whisper. "Is there anything else on your mind?"

She considers for a moment, then shakes her head.

"Alright," you whisper. You reach out and squeeze her hand. "I'll clean this up."

You burn the paper you used and put away everything else. Azula stays sitting on your bed as you do. When you slip back into bed, you hold up the blanket for her, and she slips under it too. Your sister snuggles against your side, her back to you. It's comfortable.

"Whatever happens," you whisper to her, "I will always be here for you, Azula."

You feel her fidget quietly, then nod.

"Okay," she whispers.

You smile, and gently hug her from behind.

"I love you, little sister."

Azula's hand touches yours.

She doesn't say another word, but you both sleep peacefully.

Deep Red (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

kosm

kosm

kosm

kosm

kosm

kosm

kosm

kosm

foamy

Lying liar who lies.

kosm

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks