Taylor just seems weirdly willing to make stuff like bricks when bet has heaps of them lying around that are just sitting there waiting wrapped up in nice transportable pallets
How many pallets loaded with bricks can you carry at a time? Remember, Taylor's trying to keep the capabilities of her tech secret so that Armsmaster can't just tinker up something to track her base unit down or tap into her recall network.
 
Taylor just seems weirdly willing to make stuff like bricks when bet has heaps of them lying around that are just sitting there waiting wrapped up in nice transportable pallets
She does call out a similar thing with the snowshoes idea, indicating that her power wanting to be used makes her more inclined to make things herself, rather than obtain them directly.
*edit* imp'd.
 
How many pallets loaded with bricks can you carry at a time? Remember, Taylor's trying to keep the capabilities of her tech secret so that Armsmaster can't just tinker up something to track her base unit down or tap into her recall network.

It doesn't matter how many I can carry, which is over 40 pallets. Tools be awesome.

Taylor has magic, aka tinker tech.

Why isnt she using it to skip the tedious massive amount of work to set up boring stuff like bricks
 
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And as others have said, she mentioned that herself in the chapter when she mentioned snowshoes. She's fighting her tinker urge to do everything herself versus what's most fast or effective right now. She's trying to figure out her priorities and where to draw the line between craft and acquire. Meanwhile she's also trying to find allies to spread the load because she sees she's falling behind trying to do everything herself.
 
It doesn't matter how many I can carry, which is over 40 pallets. Tools be awesome.

Taylor has magic, aka tinker tech.

Why isn't she using it to skip the tedious massive amount of work to set up boring stuff like bricks
40 pallets. At once. Carried. Right...
For people who have never worked with pallets of stuff: unless you're talking about empty pallets or using some specialized tool that I've never heard of, the most you should really be moving at once- even with a jack or forklift- is one. Even with stacks of empty pallets... 40 is a lot of pallets. A standard 48x40 GMA pallet is 6.5 inches tall, so that's going to be 260 inches (21.67 feet/6.6 meters) of pallets, with a base of just 16 square feet. At that height, OSHA would probably like to have a word with you regarding safe workplace habits...

As for the "magic" of tinkertech... Note that her drones are notably *not* pallet-carrying devices. As for just teleporting the stuff directly... We're not sure of the teleport tech's limits: can it only take so much mass at once? Can it only handle a certain amount of volume? We just don't have any solid numbers. Taylor probably has a better idea of it's limits, though... So I'd advise trusting the tech's creator.
... Also, like I pointed out before, her power makes her want to make stuff herself.
 
Speaking from experience:
If you manage to let your characters have their own free will and run away from your plot, that's where the best writing is and you should enjoy every moment of it.
Greatz chappie and thank you for posting.
 
using a truck, ya know a tool.
In other words, ignore secrecy completely. And go down guns blazing after you've shown the city what you can do. Taylor has a contract to fulfil, and in order to be largely ignored as harmless, has decided not to pose a threat to anyone. If she starts stealing whole trucks, every gang in town will be after her. (Including the PRT) Someone who has virtually no powers and only steals food and survival gear? No reason to recruit her, she is obviously useless, otherwise, she would be more aggressive.
 
using a truck, ya know a tool.

Standard trucks only carry either 24 or 26 pallets. You'd need at least two. It would also set off all the alarm bells, as stated above. Finally, it wouldn't even work, because she'd need to have a loading bay to unload the trucks into and pallet jacks to move them around. It'll probably be something that happens much later in story, when she's nearing the point of not needing to return to Earth Bet or when hiding is no longer an option.
 
I thought tinkers built stuff, but you seem to think she would be not be able to drive vehicles or build stuff so I guess there nothing that can be done.

Very boring and uninteresting though.
 
With the whole 'Taylor as a villain but making friends with Vicky and Amy', I can't help but imagine a hilarious possibility:

Emma flubbing what she specifically requests Taylor to do as the contractually obligated villain acts, and Taylor is able to do something completely heroic with it. With the notoriety events being the most villainous actions she takes.

Emma: I demanded that my villain take a hero hostage!

Taylor: Hey Amy, want to hang out on my deserted island this afternoon?

Amy: *shrugs* sure, beats boyfriend shopping with Vicky.
 
I thought tinkers built stuff, but you seem to think she would be not be able to drive vehicles or build stuff so I guess there nothing that can be done.

Very boring and uninteresting though.
So Taylor having a sensible plan and sticking to it is boring then? Because that's what's going on here. It's vastly more reasonable to have her make her own building materials from local resources than to concoct some harebrained scheme to steal enough bricks to build an entire village, and if you think that's boring because... I don't know, no dramatic car chases featuring semis? Then you can go write your own survival tinker fic with pointless dramatics. You may even be able to get some blackjack in too, though I doubt the mods would allow much with hookers.
I question the level of coincidence for Taylor not only getting mugged the one day she is back in weeks, but also the mugger being idiot enough to do it literally under New Wave's nose... yes I know Contessa and Ziz exist, but that's not an excuse.
The Docks are a high-crime area, and she was near the edge of the Boardwalk's clear-zone. A probably-Merchant idiot deciding that she was a good target is not unreasonable. That Amy and Vicky happened to be walking down the other side of the street at the same time is also a perfectly normal level of coincidence for the setting even without bullshit-tier thinkers involved.

Also, it's only been a few days since Tay was last in the Bay as a civie. It's the 7th, and she only got her powers on the 3rd, with most of her time since the start of Christmas Break being spent on the streets.
 
Standing, the other girl said "Well, you could try going for an affiliate position. Not as secure or stable as the Wards, but you'd still be in a better position than now. Still, you're all fixed, so that's where my responsibility ends and others' pick up. Personally, I don't care what you end up doing so long as you don't make a mess I need to clean up."

I blinked. That was not an attitude I'd been expecting from a member of New Wave. "I'm not particularly interesting in hurting people, so that shouldn't be too hard. No promises if the Nazis poke their noises into my business though, beyond aiming for traumatic brain injuries."

The brunette let out a short laugh. "That's understandable and I generally don't see Empire goons who got hurt by gang stuff anyways. They tend to get healed by Othalla, unless they were caught. And those normally aren't kept in places I go to heal, so you're in the clear."

"You know, you're not really what I'd expected," I noted. "Grumpy cat really doesn't fit the New Wave image, though it makes sense to me. With how violent the city is, and with your team's incredibly high standards, you probably don't get much time to relax and enjoy yourself."

Panacea raised an eyebrow at me "I believe you're only the third person to notice that, though the cat comparison's a new one. I think I can see where you got the idea from too, which is interesting since we only just met. Thinker power?"

I shook my head "Nah, that lets me spot subtle environmental cues and enhances my senses. I've just had a shit life for the past year and a half and got fairly good at reading people. It's possible I'm better at it now, but I haven't had enough human contact to know."

Then Glory Girl dropped down next to us, cutting off further conversation with a low-key wave of her aura. While I didn't think either girl noticed, I caught the subtle shudder running down the healer's frame. Were either of them aware that the blonde's emotive field was always active? Because that totally didn't seem like it could be a problem. They should probably be informed, but they had absolutely no reason to trust me and I did not want New Wave angry at me.

Suddenly, there was a hand stuck out in front of me. I blinked. That was Glory Girl's hand. Why was she holding her hand out to me? The statuesque blonde started waving her hand around. "Hello, and you going to shake? I'm Vicky, you?"

The dialogue from this point onward is extremely awkward and inhuman to me and I can't put my finger on exactly why it feels that way, even though I know how I would write it differently.

The only thing I can find other than word choice and phrasing is that it feels like an "overacted" conversation. Even if each piece of dialogue would take 15-25 seconds to read, the brain interprets time in strange ways when reading, so when there's a single quick action with each line of dialogue it starts to feel like a mime show:
  • Amy stands.
  • Taylor blinks.
  • Amy laughs.
  • Amy raises her eyebrow.
  • Taylor shakes her head.
I'm not really sure how to fix it, sorry, other than batching up, removing, and separating some of the action tags into their own paragraphs. Maybe go back in and retweak the dialogue? Idk.

Amy dropped her hands back into her pockets and fixed me with a look.

"Well, an affiliate position is another option. It wouldn't be quite as," she glanced at my clothes, "stable as the Wards, but it'd be better than nothing."

She shifted a bit, adjusting for warmth in the cold.

"It's not really my job to pitch you on this kind of stuff though. Armsmaster could give you a prepared speech on the noble pursuit of justice or some crap, but now that you're healed I honestly don't particularly care what you do as long as it's not causing trouble for me."

"...Although, admittedly, I've yet to meet a single parahuman who's managed to not."

That startled a laugh out of me, as much as I'd been retreating from the conversation.

"We're really that much trouble, huh? Not exactly the attitude I expected from a New Wave member, the whole 'I don't care what you do" shtick."

I couldn't help but smile a bit. It'd been a long time since I'd just had a friendly conversation like this. Sure, Amy might not be acting traditionally nice, but her acerbic, grumpy nature was honestly more loveable than annoying and I could feel myself warming up to her just a bit.

Unfortunately, the warm feelings didn't seem to go both ways as she mock glared at me. "Yes, really that much trouble. I couldn't convince you to move to Chicago by any chance?"

"Nope, sorry."

"Figures. But, I mean, I'm not exactly 'New Wave' New Wave, am I? New Wave is a team that goes out and fights villains. I go to the hospital and deal with the aftermath. There's a difference in perspective."

"Sure, but in general New Wave holds itself to a very high standard, no? I guess I just expected it to come with a bit of-" Glory Girl landed, cutting off my sentence as both of our heads pivoted toward her and suddenly all the warm fuzzy feelings I was starting to feel toward Panacea were pointed firmly toward her. I found myself involuntarily smiling widely even as my brain started to catalogue all the disconcerting changes that had just occurred.

I glanced back at Amy, then at Glory Girl again, before suddenly coming to the realization that she was talking.

"Sooo.... no handshake then?"

I looked down. Her extended hand was reached out toward me.

"Oh, sorry. It's just that your aura is very... distracting."

Amy immediately scowled and I felt Victoria's presence fall away.

"Oh, crap, my bad! It's always ramped up when I get out of a fight and-"

"A fight, Vicky? It was just one drugged up ganger! Tell me I don't have to heal him!"

The pressure in the air thickened and fluctuated wildly as Glory Girl panickedly waved her hands around to try and explain that, yes, he was fine but, no, Amy should definitely still heal him with all the drugs liable to be in his system.

Then, as Amy grumbled and meandered away to go deal with the unconscious ganger, Glory Girl suddenly turned to me with eyes I would swear sparkled.

"Aaaaanyway, shopping trip?"

I have a fairly different style though, so 🤷‍♀️. Idk idk. My dialogue feels more natural to me but we're all our own worst editors.
 
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Even if Amy and Vicky do find out Taylor's cape identity, it probably shouldn't change the situation that much at this point... the whole point of Taylor's PR spin on her villainy is to look like a bedraggled homeless person just trying to get by instead of an actual villain. The only criminal thing she's done so far has been to steal food from a grocery store.

And from Taylor's side, I do think it makes sense for her not to have too negative of a reaction to Amy and Vicky. They're not really attached to the bureaucracy that failed her, they don't go to Winslow, and Panacea specifically is the one hero in the city that even a jaded observer like Taylor would have to respect.

It does seem like any future relationship is likely to be highly disrupted by her contract-enforced villainous acts though... I guess if Taylor can make them believe that she's acting under duress it might work out in the end? It's not exactly a lie...
 
Well, I've edited the Taylor-Amy dialogue. Hopefully it flows more naturally.
Definitely an improvement! Sorry if I came off too strong with the whole rewriting the section thing. I tend to get tunnel vision and it was bothering me that I couldn't identify what exactly what was off with the dialogue, so I tried writing out something similar to see if it'd help.

I only realized today reading it back that it could come off as rude to just blatantly rewrite a part of your chapter like that and post it in the thread like I did.
 
Definitely an improvement! Sorry if I came off too strong with the whole rewriting the section thing. I tend to get tunnel vision and it was bothering me that I couldn't identify what exactly was bothering me, so I tried writing out something similar to see if it'd help.

I only realized today reading it back that it could come off as rude to just blatantly rewrite a part of your chapter like that and post it in the thread like I did.
As I said, it was constructive. This fic exists to improve my writing so I can stand a chance of my original projects being good enough to make a living off of, so things like advice on improving dialogue? That's more valuable than a million likes.
 
What if... the premise is the same, but it is THE TECHNO QUEEN *insert obligatory krakathoom here* origin story?
 
I'm really beginning to regret letting Vicky jump the rails. Clothes shopping with girly-girls isn't something easy to pull off when you're a tomboyish transgirl. And I can't even skip the shopping part, because I need to show interaction, not just say it happened.
 
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