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Contractual Villainy

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bisonlot said:
Then how she supposed to face protectorate and do stuff instead of this just being a differently started isekai?
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You mean besides the contract and the fact that even with help her outpost won't be self-sustaining until after that is over? Also, offworld colonization is different from isekai.
 
Sandy River DL said:
You mean besides the contract and the fact that even with help her outpost won't be self-sustaining until after that is over? Also, offworld colonization is different from isekai.
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But what if she gets hit by a truck with bread in her mouth, and the impact pushes her through her teleport beacon, wouldn't that basically be an Isekai without the body change or magical powers? Also she might be seriously hurt and probably not in a 'haha funny anime' way.
 
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There no isekai here. An Ise Kai may potentially be mentioned in Against the Deep, but no isekai will be happening in either place.
 
Sandy River DL said:
You mean besides the contract and the fact that even with help her outpost won't be self-sustaining until after that is over? Also, offworld colonization is different from isekai.
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M just worried it'll turn into factorio simulator the fic for 75% of "screen time" and take like half a dozen threadmarks before the first antagonistic wards/protectorate encounter. Empire building in stories just numbs me past a certain lvl, u know? This is more of an idle what if worry than a lvl hands to panic stations worry
 
bisonlot said:
M just worried it'll turn into factorio simulator the fic for 75% of "screen time" and take like half a dozen threadmarks before the first antagonistic wards/protectorate encounter. Empire building in stories just numbs me past a certain lvl, u know? This is more of an idle what if worry than a lvl hands to panic stations worry
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(We've already had the first Wards encounter, remember?)
 
Mal-3 said:
Presumably sourcing food via extralegal means would've required leaving the house regardless (Earth Bet in 2010 ain't got DoorDash), so if the situation's actually bad enough for her to risk the blizzard for food, I mean... I don't know if I'd call that teenage stupidity. Reckless maybe, but not stupid.

And admittedly yeah, after a parenting failure on that level trying to "well both sides" this feels a little disingenuous.
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Um, the way I'm reading the author's comments, she most likely abandoned the house first, and the blizzard happened later (as in days, possibly weeks). I get that people hate Danny and are perfectly willing to jump on anything that makes him look bad, but I really don't see @Sandy River DL responding the way she has been to these questions if Taylor had needed to leave the house during the blizzard (and even if she had, Taylor not returning to the house when she could have is still rather foolish).
 
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Prince Charon said:
Um, the way I'm reading the author's comments, she most likely abandoned the house first, and the blizzard happened later (as in days, possibly weeks). I get that people hate Danny and are perfectly willing to jump on anything that makes him look bad, but I really don't see @Sandy River DL responding the way she has been to these questions if Taylor had needed to leave the house during the blizzard (and even if she had, Taylor not returning to the house when she could have is still rather foolish).
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I imagine there's some trauma associated with the house now, but yeah, still not the best decision.
 
bisonlot said:
M just worried it'll turn into factorio simulator the fic for 75% of "screen time" and take like half a dozen threadmarks before the first antagonistic wards/protectorate encounter. Empire building in stories just numbs me past a certain lvl, u know? This is more of an idle what if worry than a lvl hands to panic stations worry
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As a vial cape, Taylor is not driven to conflict and will actually do her best to avoid it. While not a true empire building story, this is also not about cape fights. It's the story of a downtrodden girl trying to make a new life for herself while struggling with the consequences of the deals she made to get the opportunity. The current arc, Neolithic, won't have any big fights as Emma does not yet have the ability to force them to happen and Taylor has every incentive to not participate in the full-contact game of cops and robbers. It won't be all survival set-up on Tǩóymos, as I've already hinted at the E88 and Coil making a move, but this very much is the necessary build-up phase for a good tinker power fic.
 
My thoughts on balance of: Background work/base building, social interactions, caping in general.

I think so far if you're going to be having her regularly working in her base world with exploration and building, this is a decent pace. It's very different from many fics because there's less "Tinker breaks physics with plans involving power interactions and magic science tech" and more "Hey, remember Rust/Minecraft? Let's do that" and that isn't a common Worm story base. So far in four chapters you've hit just about every relevant beat for the story and shown in on screen.

While I admit I lost interest reading some of the detailed stuff she did with prep (it happens), if you are going to have it be integral to the story as it progresses then the amount is good, I'm leaning a bit on the heavy side or that it's too detailed to me. It's well written though.

Social interactions? I'm very much looking forward to who Taylor ends up talking to when she isn't out doing crimes or in work mode. I definitely think whoever you make her circle of friends out of will be the make or break point. Now that you've point out a few threats, picking peers adjacent to them would complicate the story in all the fun ways.

Caping in general? So far we've had the one confrontation really, with a showing of her talents but no action. Plenty of Worm stories can do action off screen or minimal on it. It isn't the most attractive prospect in stories, because "Superpowers not being used against each other" is contradictory to the core of Worm.

Overall it's looking like a neat survivalist guidebook set in Worm. Assuming you keep writing this story, with all the stuff you've talked about and hinted at, that definition is going to change and complaints can be chalked up to people who jumped on the ship early. Basing it on the concept of one of the greatest Worm fanfics of all time? Bonus points.

EDIT: Forgot to add. Love the background and base for Taylor in this AU. Great idea and execution.
 
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As a newly minted Villain with a tropical island with volcanos Taylor should be contractually obligated to build a base in one.
Unfortunately that won't happen in a time frame that leaves Coil to just keel over in an apoplectic fit of base envy.
 
HarbingerOfCrazy said:
As a newly minted Villain with a tropical island with volcanos Taylor should be contractually obligated to build a base in one.
Unfortunately that won't happen in a time frame that leaves Coil to just keel over in an apoplectic fit of base envy.
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Christ, now the image of them comparing notes is stuck in my head.
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"And this..." Coil proclaims. "Is my own personal coup de grâce - Behold!"

Taylor stares. "...A Commodore 64 and a monochrome CRT monitor?"

"No." Coil drawls impatiently. "Look at what's on the monitor."

Taylor does. "...The WebMD page for hemorrhoid symptoms?"

"What?!" Coil's gaze snaps to the screen and he abruptly shoulders her out of the way. "Give me that!" A few clicks. "This!"

"...It's a countdown timer." Taylor observes.

"Indeed it is," Coil says proudly, recovering with remarkable aplomb. "Any guesses as to wh-"

"Is this your base's self-destruct timer?"

Coil cuts off his own spiel and lets out an aggrieved sigh. "Yes." he grits out. "It is." And then with gravitas, "With just the push of a button, this base, and every server connected to it, will go up in flames. Any evidence of my operations, my teams, my associates will vanish into the wind."

There's a long pause and despite the fact Taylor can't see his face, she gets the distinct impression he's grinning under his mask.

"That's it?"

"That's it?" Coil repeats incredulously, switching from smug to furious with impressive speed. "What do you mean 'That's it?' What more does it need to do?"

"I don't know, it just - That seems a little underwhelming."

"Underwhelming?! It's a giant bomb! What could possibly be underwhelming about that?"

"Well aren't most self-destructs a giant bomb? Doesn't seem very unique." She points out. "Like, couldn't you have done something with the surrounding area?"

"No." Coil enunciates. "I couldn't. We're in the middle of a populated city. We can't all be so fortuitous as to build our secret lairs into the side of a volcano." He grouses.

"That is true." Taylor allows. "But, Brockton Bay's over an aquifer. You could have set something up to make your base fall into that."

Coil cups the lower half of his face with his hand. "That would also bring down a good portion of the aforementioned, highly populated city." He points out carefully, like he's just realized he's within arms reach of someone significantly more unstable than he previously thought.

"Well, when you put it like that."

"You mean when I put it exactly how it sounds?!"

"I'm not saying you should do it." Taylor defends herself. "I'm just saying it as an example. It has style."

Again, Taylor can't tell through the mask, but she's sure Coil's giving her a look like there's something seriously wrong with her. Which takes some nerve, given what Taylor knows about the guy. "There's a very fine line between destroying the evidence and getting a kill order, my dear. Sinking a large metropolitan area into the sea crosses it quite soundly."

Taylor wants to argue but has to concede this is true. "Even still." She goes on regardless. "You've been at this for years. I guess I just assumed you'd have something... better."

"Better." he repeats flatly.

"Yeah."

Coil folds his arms over his chest, obviously annoyed. "And I suppose your self-destruct is 'better?'"

"Well, yeah." Taylor tells the guy. "Blows up my base, all my tech. It's even rigged to destabilize the integrity of the volcano's magma chamber. If I pull the trigger the whole mountain will erupt. And not, like, sluggish, piddly-little-lava-streams-down-the-sides eruption, but Krakatoa, you're-gonna-hear-this-thing-from-two-thousand-miles-away eruption."

This time Taylor knows he's giving her that look again.
 
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