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Contractual Villainy

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Pillowsperky said:
You could always have the social interactions be interrupted or cut short by Shenanigans!

If Emma happens to go near the same shops Vicky yanks Taytay to, as an example.
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Hmm... It would take some work to not be contrived like tossing U&L at them and Emma isn't to find out until after she joins the Wards, but I think I can manage something. Still have to write at least some clothes shopping even with that though...
 
Maybe just do a segment of back and forth snarking by Taylor and Amy. You don't need to describe what they are doing, just do the commentary they are making as Vicky drags them along shopping. That lets you show some of the social side of things, while reducing the amount of actual descriptions of clothes shopping they are doing.
 
novorek said:
Maybe just do a segment of back and forth snarking by Taylor and Amy. You don't need to describe what they are doing, just do the commentary they are making as Vicky drags them along shopping. That lets you show some of the social side of things, while reducing the amount of actual descriptions of clothes shopping they are doing.
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TheBiggerFish said:
IMO, just throw some adjectives, nouns, and valences in a blender. Fashion is subjective.
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Combine these and show their cluelessness by using completely wrong terminology trying to guess what Vicky shows them. You can be wrong on purpose, better yet, humorously wrong.
 
Sandy River DL said:
Hmm... It would take some work to not be contrived like tossing U&L at them and Emma isn't to find out until after she joins the Wards, but I think I can manage something. Still have to write at least some clothes shopping even with that though...
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I thought Emma already joined the Wards.
Or is Emma going to get conscripted into the Wards like Sophia?
 
@Sandy River DL There is a very simple way to avoid the pain of writing about clothes shopping. Vicky never actually said what they were planning to shop for. She talked about getting proper winter gear and survival gear for Taylor, but never specified what store she and Amy had planned to shop at. They could have clothes shopping, grabbing protective gear for Panacea, shopping for a birthday gift, browsing for books or anything else you would more enjoy writing about. Clothes shopping is not the only shopping option, just the most stereotypical.
 
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Interesting story so far. Looking forward to the interactions with Emma.
The descriptions of the terrain and trying to find a location for a base strongly reminds me of starting off in minecraft.
 
After rather a lot of unproductive staring at the page, we've decided tweak the last chapter. This will both swing Vicky's character a bit more towards canon, and set up more character interactions for the coming chapter. And it's not even a big change, just altering a few paragraphs around the shopping invitation and who made it. It also happy will fix some small gaps that I missed in enhancing the dialogue.
 
Sandy River DL said:
After rather a lot of unproductive staring at the page, we've decided tweak the last chapter. This will both swing Vicky's character a bit more towards canon, and set up more character interactions for the coming chapter. And it's not even a big change, just altering a few paragraphs around the shopping invitation and who made it. It also happy will fix some small gaps that I missed in enhancing the dialogue.
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Glad to hear that the unproductive screen staring has produced at least some results/a decision! :)
 
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You're not going to post at exactly midnight aren't you? I don't feel like continually refreshing around midnight on New Year's Eve (not that I know which time zone you're even in)
 
Sandy River DL said:
In addition to what Pillowsperky said, they already have direct access to her and the contract doesn't prevent them from commissioning her to build them stuff. Cauldron, in effect, already has her on retainer and they don't actually lose anything in waiting the thirty months until Taylor turns eighteen to formally recruit her. That and the anchors only allow them to link places they've been to, so there's still that same failure point, just somewhat mitigated.
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Not only that. She's 16, Thinker or not, and 16 year olds are... well. Poor impulse control is usual, but even the most mature ones lack the experience you'd expect from an adult. Not to mention that Taylor is a newbie on the whole villain thing. If I were Cauldron, I'd be waiting until she messes up and she has to be bailed, however many times it happened. The nemesis program will probably take that into account, but that's still Taylor being saved over and over by Cauldron. That creates a perceived debt, or at the very least it gives Cauldron more brownie points. Cauldron is already keeping an eye on her for the nemesis program, and to top it all off, it ain't easy going from villain to hero. If you have a third option, an offer from an organization you're positively predisposed to, from whom you won't have to keep your true story/motivations...
 
Evilreadermaximu said:
LoL, so how long until Amy figures out that Taylor's the new villain tinker in town I wonder?

Although the idea of Taylor having a cross-faction(?) friendship with the Dallon sisters is hilarious.

Overall this was an excellent chapter.
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Pretty sure her making that connection is what the conversation in the chapter was about...
 
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