You debated it for a moment of where to go, to let the Dragon and Phoenix hold the line or the Unicorn and the Lion. In the end you can't quite say what held you to your decision. Maybe it was sentiment for your fiancée, maybe it was just a political consideration that having the Unicorn punched in the mouth would make them easier vassals. You hated thinking like that, reducing things to numbers and people just necessary expenditures. But you couldn't deny the reasoning. Thus you make your choice.
"Go, Wolf of the Toturi, go and teach the Yobanjin the true might of the Emerald Empire. If they would burn it all to ash, leave not even ash behind" You command.
Sezaru bows. "As you command Naseru"
With that, almost as quickly as he came, he disappears out of the tent, leaving you behind, feeling as if you had made a terrible choice, but the one you had to make. Glass golems were a force you had no idea of how to handle, but you had the finest minds in the Empire at your disposal, if none of them could figure out a way to deal with this...well then maybe you deserved it.
You reach for the bottle of sake and consider for a moment pouring a glass...before deciding to just drink the damn thing from the bottle you've earned that much. In rush the Seppun and Kaname, all of them looking around wildly for Sezaru. When they see you relatively unharmed, they stop and bow.
"Was anyone hurt?" You ask.
"A few of the guards will feel it tomorrow, but he froze them in the air rather than kill them...tell me Emperor do we hunt him?" The lead Seppun, Seppun Mirinami as you recall, asks.
"No... anyone sent after him would be dead before the night was out. Make sure all the guests are safe, and assure them the problem is dealt with."
Kaname looks at you with unabashed curiosity.
"I see..." Mirinami says, clearly unhappy, but unable to deny your orders.
The Seppun leave, thus as you sit back down on your bed, the only other person in the room is Kaname. You look up at her, noting her hands slowly relaxing from their adrenaline high. She doesn't leave, instead turning those large eyes on you.
You take another swig of sake, man could get lost in those eyes. You certainly have in the past. Kaname sets her naginata to the side and approaches you. In spite of the knowledge that nothing will happen, your mind can't help but play images of what would happen next in a pillow book. She'd put her hand around yours, and say something about being a better relief than sake then...
"Are you alright?" She asks
With a start, your fantasy ends as you look up at her, she's very close.
"What?"
"Are...are you alright Hisao?" She asks, her eyes looking down at you.
Such a simple question isn't it? But what can you answer? No you are not alright that you have sent your uncle off to die, and decided to sacrifice the Unicorn and Lion for the Dragon and the Phoenix?
Yes you are alright because this is just the job of being the Emperor. To make the choice of who lives and who dies. That you made the calculations and the answer came out as that. Not from malice, but from simple math.
Her hand reaches down around yours, pushing the sake bottle away from you.
"Please, talk to me." Her voice is soft and low.
You look up at her.
"There's nothing to talk about, I made a choice. History will judge if I made the right one."
Kaname nods and sits down behind you, wrapping her arms around you. This is all highly scandalous...but you don't care, you've drunk enough to blame it on the sake if you want.
She doesn't say anything, just holding you still as you put away the bottle and lean into her.
"Its okay" she says softly, after several minutes.
"No, it's not, it shouldn't be."
"I didn't like you at first, you were so wrapped up in politics, in appearance, that I thought you didn't care for the people, for Bushido, but I was wrong. You do care...you're trying the best you can right?"
"Hai" You mumble.
"Then let it go, in the morning keep trying, but here with me, let it go." She urges.
It sounds so seductive, to let her in, to have a wife in spirit as well as body. But that creates weakness as well as strength. If you lost her, after letting her in, it would be ragged scar on your heart for the rest of your life. Can you really justify being weak?
An Emperor must be stronger than steel. For he is the master of steel and flesh.
The feeling of Kaname's hands on your shoulders brings you back from your thoughts. You know she likes to do this when you're in the capital, when things can be arranged, but she's taking a risk here. No doubt some would use her presence to show her as unchaste.
But you don't care, you've spent months helping to temper her, to keep her from just causing fights wherever she goes. And she's...not someone you're unfond of. No while her tendency to see everything in black and white is problematic, she's more than her flaws or her beauty, she cares, perhaps too much.
She cares, and she's kissing the back of your neck, thoughts empty as you simply feel for a moment. There is a choice to be made now, if you leave, then things will stay as they are, she will be a comfort, and a good wife, but you will not be partners the way your father and mother were. But you will be safe.
If you kiss her, you don't know if you will stop, you may well have a winter child....but she will be let inside your walls, you will have someone you can let out all your feelings too, without shame. But you'll no longer be safe, you can't defend yourself from her, and when she causes problems, and she will, you'll be defending her.
Your heart, and your pragmatism war with each other.
[] Kiss Kaname
[] Don't kiss Kaname
