Jonn Wolfe
(Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)
- Location
- Beyond Sanity Since 1971
They're a good 'feel good' set of stories that will cheer a body up. That's why I read them, at any rate. 
Broken Adventure
- Thread starter theaceoffire
- Start date
- Crossover
- Status
- Location
- Germany
I am the feeling the same way, I am really not a big fan of mlp-stuff, but I love what he has done with the universe until now.
Too Phat.
- Location
- Here
Not that he had the equipment, but he still was a man, right? Or male. Male-ish. He thought male pronouns, even if he was currently an androgynous-wolf-mountain-house-uh... thing.
Yeah, he needed to channel this magic into SOMETHING because the longer this continued, the less sense his existence was making.
At least he caught the pear trees before they could branch off his back into wings. What kind of wolf needed wings? He was FAR too big to fly. And he still only had one head. Probably. The tail-mouth thing had been a shock.
"CREATURE. EXPLAIN THYSELF."
Not that there was anything wrong with having more than the expected number of body parts. He tried to be open-minded about body issues, especially in the Worm Realm where people could be made out of copper or weather patterns.
Narwhal was still human, but was he? Before leaving, his body was mutating and on fire, or at least randomly morphing every time his powers shifted. She hadn't even blinked.
"CREATURE?"
Honestly, in retrospect, he really respected her for being so open minded. More so when he started wearing bone armor and a suit near 24/7. It gave him a sense of calm, a connection to something more undefined that let him feel safe. But feeling better or know, it took a certain level of affection to overlook a love one who suddenly wore really strange outfits all the time.
It had to be odd when your significant other just started looking like a mobile corpse with a flexible skull, but she had handled that brilliantly. Not even a stutter.
God she was a keeper.
"ARE... ARE YE ALRIGHT?"
So, if he wasn't human (And that seemed likely), then did her plus him equal bestiality? Or some phrase to represent Human with Non-Human? He SHOULD be as open minded as possible, but even then finding the purple skinned creature to be beautiful was odd. And even with no sexual preferences at the moment (Maybe? He still thought his girlfriend was hot), Luna WAS an attractive god-pony-leader of her species. Then again, power was attractive on its own.
Adam paused. Did that make him a Furry? But ponies and horses had hair, horse-hair to be specific. So he would be a Hairy? Somehow he knew Narwhal would be up for either if the other partner was willing, reached maturity, and was intellectually interesting. She had told him in the past what kind of sexuality she was... but at the time, she was doing that thing with her... uh.
Well, she had been distracting.
"WHAT THOUGHTS ARE... WHAT?!?"
Oh. Luna could not understand his language, but she DID see that memory. Whoops.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Luna gawked, the mental image of some shaved monkey-unicorn doing something VERY mature to a stripped down monkey skeleton thing flashing through her mind. Perversion! What kind of wolf WAS this!?
And now it looked sheepish. Not literally.
With a firm expression, she tapped a hoof in mid-air. "CREATURE. WHERE ARE OUR CHARGES."
A streak of blue fire suddenly illuminated a small structure on his back, in the midst of flowers and berries.
About to fly over, she paused. Perverted or not, he had been helpful. "THANK YOU."
He nodded, his house size face looking quite peaceful gnawing away on a tree trunk.
She reached the small hut and carefully opened the door.
It was... amazing. Carefully carved surfaces, small blue torches, and a spiraling staircase of rich woodwork leading into an expanding passageway. Like a sea-shell. Each layer of the descent exposed more side paths, hallways. Each had a picture, showing symbols to represent the contents. A farm? Maybe a kitchen. Was that a pool?
Thick and thin pipes of blue fire gently glowed above, and would run into and through the walls and ceiling. The floor was colored, LIVING moss that seemed to flourish in such a rich magical environment.
And the magic here was THICK.
Concentrated, purified, and rich. The forest outside was full of raw and partially manipulated power to begin with, but inside this... 'Burnie'... the power was being attracted to the flames and continuously refined.
It reminded her of the old times, the rich secret places where ponies would hide between migrations. So strong, so rich, so clean and refreshing.
She stopped at the hallway with the images of three little ponies on the side, and eventually found three doors, each with a girl's face on them. Gently opening one door, she watched Apple Bloom snoring in a room that had images of apple trees on the walls, resting in a bed as fine as the ones in the castle.
The sudden movement was soft, like sailing on the sea. Clearly, Burnie was on the move again.
When she went back up there, she should at least point him in the right direction. He wasn't heading AWAY from civilization, just sort of... parallel to it.
But when they headed homewards, he would have to stop making a massive cleared trail leading from the deepest danger zones directly to a town of civilians.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Adam had a princess inside him. It felt... odd. She was power with a capital 'P'. With a capital everything, really. The magic she released just by existing alone was being absorbed and refined continuously, like a meal that never ended.
He ended up moving and eating again just to be distracted. Eating solved all problems.
Was it sexist to not want women inside him? Wait. No, phrasing.
Also, never let Narwhal hear that question, she would have ALL sorts of ideas. Possibly fun ones, but nothing he wanted to volunteer for.
Repress everything. Different thoughts.
Alright, what was the best idea for what to do next. Squishy, feel free to jump in.
First priority was a bit obvious, he needed a power to handle this magic saturating his body.
What kind of power should he aim for? Was he allowed to just say something like 'Mana' or 'Magic' and be done with it?
Squishy gave a poke.
Ah, thought not. Each Realm had its own power source, and conflicts in naming aside the method of controlling magic HERE would be different than in a world like Care Bears or Dungeons and Dragons. Making a power to only control one type of energy would not only have limited usability, but would eventually be absorbed into the other abilities made here in Equestria.
The best idea was to pick a useful ability that worked best when USING magic. Shape shift? His current body wasn't using science or biology to work, after all. Just... turn into a dragon or something whenever he wanted.
Squishy poked again.
Right, there was an insectoid species called 'Changelings' here that could duplicate any other creature body roughly the same size... and consumed emotion based magic to survive. Just... any air magic, really, as long as it was emotionally charged. Better to wait and scan a few of those first to reduce cost and increase versatility when getting the power.
He glanced down inside himself mentally. Princess Luna was distracted when he designed a room to appear that had a very 'Lady of the Night' theme to it for her to relax in. Not a prostitute theme, more a 'vampire lady' vibe... but no tight leather or whips. She was still poking around, but didn't seem in a hurry to get anywhere.
Idly he wondered what he would do if she requested something like a whip or whatever. And then Narwhal. Mmm.
Wait. Was his magic overcompensating his sexuality due to how concerned he was earlier about not having male equipment? He stored almost everything in his soul anyway, and most souls don't have a penis, so why was it so hard to stay logical and calm when transformed into a giant wolf-tree? And he had already experienced several emotional problems already, far more than ever before. Maybe the magic was enhancing the volatility of his emotions directly, an inverse effect considering that normally emotions would drive the power.
Therapist. He would need several, probably.
In fact, forget getting the magic shape shifting ability for now.
He needed a power that was not only useful, but one that would encourage him to accept himself FIRST rather than constantly changing into someone or something else during a panic attack.
And since Luna had been busy long enough, he finally had a Power Charge available for use.
He watched with fascination as Squishy wiggled the charge free from the Worm Fishbowl sand, moving to the cloud of possibilities in the Equestrian Soul.
Hopefully this would calm stuff down a few notches.
"Growth."
The essence of nature and fire, something allowing his current two natures to bind and enhance another without burning or smothering. That it worked well with 'Recovery' and conceptually well with 'Research' and 'Technomancy' was just a nice side effect. It would hopefully stabilize this ball of soul power and potential.
Rapidly, the new soul exploded in blue roots and branches and brown fire chasing green flames.
And silently, simultaneously... flames spread across the entire mountain of Adam.
He no longer needed a wolf template. This monstrosity wasn't much of a wolf anyway now.
And if he no longer could fit into that old, tired schematic?
It would grow as well.
Roots. Thick, with layers of vines carefully folded into the surface that could quickly deploy to absorb soil or water. Still black as pitch, his new roots could absorb any and all light, converting it into chemical energy for his new form. His paws became the base of massive trees, twisted together in a black mass of raw weight.
The six limbs supported his chest, which expanded and hollowed into something similar to a massive bowl. The garden at top curled in, the trees becoming a protective cover while allowing the moonlight to shine inside the dome of material, his garden protected from wind and rain. His underside wove thick black lumber into an impenetrable surface.
And from the center of his being, a massive trunk grew straight up through the canopy... and without a single branch, extended far above into the air before suddenly expanding into an umbrella of pine needles.
Between every set of his limbs, like a form from the darkness, a massive face of compressed wood emerged.
Each face was only similar to a standard wolf, and had gained some form of ability inspired by one of his powers... mostly due to Squishy having too much fun.
One was mild, with red wood forming crosses in the eyes.
One was dripping blue flames with burning eyes.
One seemed overly intelligent. Glasses? Silver rims, but no glass.
One had thin veins of blue fire making curious circuitry, and seemed to breath tiny blue sparks instead of fire.
The most disturbing one had empty eyes, and seemed to absorb life and reality itself when it opened it's jaws.
And his new face, the face of Nature, was covered in smaller trees, vines, bushes, and life itself. Each breath released small birds that would vanish as they flew away, crawling creatures that hid from the light, and the smell of the deep forest.
With twelve blinks, Adam looked up. The seventh power, 'Conversion', which Squishy used to hold that wand... it was the umbrella. And it was converting nearly all power that struck it into useful energy.
Uh.
What exactly WAS he now?
Did he have a front? He was basically symmetrical! Even with 'Recovery' forcing his brain to understand how to move with six limbs, it STILL took several minutes to go in a single direction.
And he lost his tail again! He only got used to that annoyance a few hours ago!
...No, this wasn't something he wanted to get used to.
This was more house than creature now, even WITH the extra heads.
Normal timberwolves were floating bits of wood held together with magic. No nails or glue, just power. And thanks to his current deity-house-guest, he had extra power to spare.
It took almost nothing to focus on his inner garden, pick a strong tree, duplicate it, and force the revised, refined 'Timberwolf Pattern:Adam' onto the lumber.
And then... he felt the newest and strongest headache he could ever remember.
Whining, he covered his head in his paws even as his body continue to slowly escape from the wooden pile. Why!? Having twelve eyes and stuff had been fine, why was having a separate body this painful!?
"Uh... It's alight Burnie... Junior?"
He opened his pained eyes. Oh.
Well, blowing up into a fireball and rebuilding himself WOULD probably wake the kids up.
Them being covered in non-burning flames likely didn't help their nap either.
Scootaloo looked for help. "If my dog gives birth to himself, is he his own mother or father!?"
Somehow, the fact that Luna looked like she was sharing his headache made everything a bit better.
Yeah, he needed to channel this magic into SOMETHING because the longer this continued, the less sense his existence was making.
At least he caught the pear trees before they could branch off his back into wings. What kind of wolf needed wings? He was FAR too big to fly. And he still only had one head. Probably. The tail-mouth thing had been a shock.
"CREATURE. EXPLAIN THYSELF."
Not that there was anything wrong with having more than the expected number of body parts. He tried to be open-minded about body issues, especially in the Worm Realm where people could be made out of copper or weather patterns.
Narwhal was still human, but was he? Before leaving, his body was mutating and on fire, or at least randomly morphing every time his powers shifted. She hadn't even blinked.
"CREATURE?"
Honestly, in retrospect, he really respected her for being so open minded. More so when he started wearing bone armor and a suit near 24/7. It gave him a sense of calm, a connection to something more undefined that let him feel safe. But feeling better or know, it took a certain level of affection to overlook a love one who suddenly wore really strange outfits all the time.
It had to be odd when your significant other just started looking like a mobile corpse with a flexible skull, but she had handled that brilliantly. Not even a stutter.
God she was a keeper.
"ARE... ARE YE ALRIGHT?"
So, if he wasn't human (And that seemed likely), then did her plus him equal bestiality? Or some phrase to represent Human with Non-Human? He SHOULD be as open minded as possible, but even then finding the purple skinned creature to be beautiful was odd. And even with no sexual preferences at the moment (Maybe? He still thought his girlfriend was hot), Luna WAS an attractive god-pony-leader of her species. Then again, power was attractive on its own.
Adam paused. Did that make him a Furry? But ponies and horses had hair, horse-hair to be specific. So he would be a Hairy? Somehow he knew Narwhal would be up for either if the other partner was willing, reached maturity, and was intellectually interesting. She had told him in the past what kind of sexuality she was... but at the time, she was doing that thing with her... uh.
Well, she had been distracting.
"WHAT THOUGHTS ARE... WHAT?!?"
Oh. Luna could not understand his language, but she DID see that memory. Whoops.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Luna gawked, the mental image of some shaved monkey-unicorn doing something VERY mature to a stripped down monkey skeleton thing flashing through her mind. Perversion! What kind of wolf WAS this!?
And now it looked sheepish. Not literally.
With a firm expression, she tapped a hoof in mid-air. "CREATURE. WHERE ARE OUR CHARGES."
A streak of blue fire suddenly illuminated a small structure on his back, in the midst of flowers and berries.
About to fly over, she paused. Perverted or not, he had been helpful. "THANK YOU."
He nodded, his house size face looking quite peaceful gnawing away on a tree trunk.
She reached the small hut and carefully opened the door.
It was... amazing. Carefully carved surfaces, small blue torches, and a spiraling staircase of rich woodwork leading into an expanding passageway. Like a sea-shell. Each layer of the descent exposed more side paths, hallways. Each had a picture, showing symbols to represent the contents. A farm? Maybe a kitchen. Was that a pool?
Thick and thin pipes of blue fire gently glowed above, and would run into and through the walls and ceiling. The floor was colored, LIVING moss that seemed to flourish in such a rich magical environment.
And the magic here was THICK.
Concentrated, purified, and rich. The forest outside was full of raw and partially manipulated power to begin with, but inside this... 'Burnie'... the power was being attracted to the flames and continuously refined.
It reminded her of the old times, the rich secret places where ponies would hide between migrations. So strong, so rich, so clean and refreshing.
She stopped at the hallway with the images of three little ponies on the side, and eventually found three doors, each with a girl's face on them. Gently opening one door, she watched Apple Bloom snoring in a room that had images of apple trees on the walls, resting in a bed as fine as the ones in the castle.
The sudden movement was soft, like sailing on the sea. Clearly, Burnie was on the move again.
When she went back up there, she should at least point him in the right direction. He wasn't heading AWAY from civilization, just sort of... parallel to it.
But when they headed homewards, he would have to stop making a massive cleared trail leading from the deepest danger zones directly to a town of civilians.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Adam had a princess inside him. It felt... odd. She was power with a capital 'P'. With a capital everything, really. The magic she released just by existing alone was being absorbed and refined continuously, like a meal that never ended.
He ended up moving and eating again just to be distracted. Eating solved all problems.
Was it sexist to not want women inside him? Wait. No, phrasing.
Also, never let Narwhal hear that question, she would have ALL sorts of ideas. Possibly fun ones, but nothing he wanted to volunteer for.
Repress everything. Different thoughts.
Alright, what was the best idea for what to do next. Squishy, feel free to jump in.
First priority was a bit obvious, he needed a power to handle this magic saturating his body.
What kind of power should he aim for? Was he allowed to just say something like 'Mana' or 'Magic' and be done with it?
Squishy gave a poke.
Ah, thought not. Each Realm had its own power source, and conflicts in naming aside the method of controlling magic HERE would be different than in a world like Care Bears or Dungeons and Dragons. Making a power to only control one type of energy would not only have limited usability, but would eventually be absorbed into the other abilities made here in Equestria.
The best idea was to pick a useful ability that worked best when USING magic. Shape shift? His current body wasn't using science or biology to work, after all. Just... turn into a dragon or something whenever he wanted.
Squishy poked again.
Right, there was an insectoid species called 'Changelings' here that could duplicate any other creature body roughly the same size... and consumed emotion based magic to survive. Just... any air magic, really, as long as it was emotionally charged. Better to wait and scan a few of those first to reduce cost and increase versatility when getting the power.
He glanced down inside himself mentally. Princess Luna was distracted when he designed a room to appear that had a very 'Lady of the Night' theme to it for her to relax in. Not a prostitute theme, more a 'vampire lady' vibe... but no tight leather or whips. She was still poking around, but didn't seem in a hurry to get anywhere.
Idly he wondered what he would do if she requested something like a whip or whatever. And then Narwhal. Mmm.
Wait. Was his magic overcompensating his sexuality due to how concerned he was earlier about not having male equipment? He stored almost everything in his soul anyway, and most souls don't have a penis, so why was it so hard to stay logical and calm when transformed into a giant wolf-tree? And he had already experienced several emotional problems already, far more than ever before. Maybe the magic was enhancing the volatility of his emotions directly, an inverse effect considering that normally emotions would drive the power.
Therapist. He would need several, probably.
In fact, forget getting the magic shape shifting ability for now.
He needed a power that was not only useful, but one that would encourage him to accept himself FIRST rather than constantly changing into someone or something else during a panic attack.
And since Luna had been busy long enough, he finally had a Power Charge available for use.
He watched with fascination as Squishy wiggled the charge free from the Worm Fishbowl sand, moving to the cloud of possibilities in the Equestrian Soul.
Hopefully this would calm stuff down a few notches.
"Growth."
The essence of nature and fire, something allowing his current two natures to bind and enhance another without burning or smothering. That it worked well with 'Recovery' and conceptually well with 'Research' and 'Technomancy' was just a nice side effect. It would hopefully stabilize this ball of soul power and potential.
Rapidly, the new soul exploded in blue roots and branches and brown fire chasing green flames.
And silently, simultaneously... flames spread across the entire mountain of Adam.
He no longer needed a wolf template. This monstrosity wasn't much of a wolf anyway now.
And if he no longer could fit into that old, tired schematic?
It would grow as well.
Roots. Thick, with layers of vines carefully folded into the surface that could quickly deploy to absorb soil or water. Still black as pitch, his new roots could absorb any and all light, converting it into chemical energy for his new form. His paws became the base of massive trees, twisted together in a black mass of raw weight.
The six limbs supported his chest, which expanded and hollowed into something similar to a massive bowl. The garden at top curled in, the trees becoming a protective cover while allowing the moonlight to shine inside the dome of material, his garden protected from wind and rain. His underside wove thick black lumber into an impenetrable surface.
And from the center of his being, a massive trunk grew straight up through the canopy... and without a single branch, extended far above into the air before suddenly expanding into an umbrella of pine needles.
Between every set of his limbs, like a form from the darkness, a massive face of compressed wood emerged.
Each face was only similar to a standard wolf, and had gained some form of ability inspired by one of his powers... mostly due to Squishy having too much fun.
One was mild, with red wood forming crosses in the eyes.
One was dripping blue flames with burning eyes.
One seemed overly intelligent. Glasses? Silver rims, but no glass.
One had thin veins of blue fire making curious circuitry, and seemed to breath tiny blue sparks instead of fire.
The most disturbing one had empty eyes, and seemed to absorb life and reality itself when it opened it's jaws.
And his new face, the face of Nature, was covered in smaller trees, vines, bushes, and life itself. Each breath released small birds that would vanish as they flew away, crawling creatures that hid from the light, and the smell of the deep forest.
With twelve blinks, Adam looked up. The seventh power, 'Conversion', which Squishy used to hold that wand... it was the umbrella. And it was converting nearly all power that struck it into useful energy.
Uh.
What exactly WAS he now?
Did he have a front? He was basically symmetrical! Even with 'Recovery' forcing his brain to understand how to move with six limbs, it STILL took several minutes to go in a single direction.
And he lost his tail again! He only got used to that annoyance a few hours ago!
...No, this wasn't something he wanted to get used to.
This was more house than creature now, even WITH the extra heads.
Normal timberwolves were floating bits of wood held together with magic. No nails or glue, just power. And thanks to his current deity-house-guest, he had extra power to spare.
It took almost nothing to focus on his inner garden, pick a strong tree, duplicate it, and force the revised, refined 'Timberwolf Pattern:Adam' onto the lumber.
And then... he felt the newest and strongest headache he could ever remember.
Whining, he covered his head in his paws even as his body continue to slowly escape from the wooden pile. Why!? Having twelve eyes and stuff had been fine, why was having a separate body this painful!?
"Uh... It's alight Burnie... Junior?"
He opened his pained eyes. Oh.
Well, blowing up into a fireball and rebuilding himself WOULD probably wake the kids up.
Them being covered in non-burning flames likely didn't help their nap either.
Scootaloo looked for help. "If my dog gives birth to himself, is he his own mother or father!?"
Somehow, the fact that Luna looked like she was sharing his headache made everything a bit better.
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- Location
- Tri-State Area
This is getting weird.. on a whole new level.
Also, very confusing.
Also, very confusing.
- Location
- Here
Raw magic, saturated in darkness and exposed to the weather on a planet that requires magical ponies to exist.
Not even once.
Winners don't do drugs!
Jonn Wolfe
(Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)
- Location
- Beyond Sanity Since 1971
--SNERK--
Trust ole Scoots to make things awkward... LMAO
He needs to pony himself.
Er, that is. . .
Turn himself into a pony.
[edit]Annnnd, Dis-ed.
Trust ole Scoots to make things awkward... LMAO
Our protagonist has gotten lost in the glut of magic he ate.
He needs to pony himself.
Er, that is. . .
Turn himself into a pony.
[edit]Annnnd, Dis-ed.
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- Location
- florida
Welcome to confusion. Population, us.
Fragnostic
Cheshire
- Location
- Neko City
Trippy. And lewd.
- Location
- Barquisimeto
Whoa, Luna saw some kinky shit on her mind eye. This a lesson for her 'Never read magical mutant wolves mind' is too fucking weird.
- Location
- California
Your update rate is incredible. I hope you don't burn yourself out, because I am enjoying this story quite a bit.
These last two updates have been a bit confusing, but I think it's a good thing, because the main character has been confused and spaced out for them as well.
These last two updates have been a bit confusing, but I think it's a good thing, because the main character has been confused and spaced out for them as well.
- Location
- United States
Perhaps next time you drop a story you can just leave, instead of wasting space with non-constructive(and misspelled) criticism.
-
I am actually curious about how basically everyone is going to react to the city-sized wood golem stomping around Equestria. Since I assume you're going to continue with switching perspectives pretty regularly, I'm interested to see who you pick after Luna. On a different note, Is he able to give the various plants he's growing anomolous effects? Stuff like zap apples and poison joke do exist so it wouldn't be unprecedented by any means.
Fragnostic
Cheshire
- Location
- Neko City
Oh no! What shall I do? My life is ruined!
But to be serious, I think you should stick around.
Not every "jump" is always interesting, but it always progresses the story in some way.
Momma Mia?
- Location
- Here
Scootaloo backed off slightly.
Whatever Burnie Jr. was going through looked... very painful.
Like most times, she was the only one of the three fillies willing to step up when things went odd. Some would say this was recklessness, and they weren't wrong, but Rainbow Dash said it was her awesomeness being too cool for amazingville. Or something.
Point was, it was her pet, and she had responsibilities.
"It's alright boy, just... calm down. Princess Luna, can't we do something? He looks really hurt."
Luna looked at the writhing pile of lumber, dragging itself out from the remains of a tree. She took a slow, deep breath. Calm. "Girls, please step back and cover your ears. I shall be using the 'Royal Canterlot Voice' again, it will be loud."
The two girls dragged Scootaloo back as she took a deep breath.
"CREATURE."
The skull of the wolf twisted toward her, jaws opening. "WAaRgh mianaatue."
She blinked.
Before she could do anything, the wolf's spine snapped, everything straightening out and twisting. "Wahn minuute. Spaken be hard."
Scootaloo squealed! "He can do tricks!"
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Something inside Adam snapped into place, 'Recovery' suddenly operating on TWO creatures, one still growing (and eating), his current smaller form rapidly reconstituting into a more standard timberwolf form.
'Burnie the Traveling Club House' was now running on a combination of AI and raw magic, like an advanced version of Kaa or his other constructs. Controllable by Adam like any other creation, but also with its own mind and ideas... on a very very low level.
Slightly lower than a normal dog, now. But rapidly improving.
And his mind... was free!
Layers of magic had been stripped from his soul, using Burnie as a power sink to free him from the burden.
It was like layers of ash and smog was swept away from his vision.
Even better, the raw power that Burnie was still gathering was going through purification processes via the soil, roots, and other materials that composed its massive bulk.
He glanced down. Exposed to so much uncontrolled, tainted magic, his form had mutated badly. A few thoughts to 'Recovery' fused his many limbs down to four (And a tail!), the multiple skulls stopped forming, and his body began expelling the random twinges of creature magic that floated in the air.
Now he was... well, he was big, but only on the size of Luna. Not building large. Some of his internal wooden parts had crystallized, and his eyes were blue gems of raw magic, but he wasn't dripping power or feeling uncontrollable urges to eat everything.
It was a new sort of balance really.
Looking back at the still stunned fillies and wary Alicorn, he gave what was a (hopefully) innocent expression and 'Please don't blast me' smile and sat on his haunches. "Gooad Evaning!" He frowned. "Eave ning."
Grumble. "Taulking wid a snout is hrarder than I taught."
Somehow it was expected Scootaloo would recover first. "You're doing great, Burnie Jr! None of the other pets I know can even shake hands! I think."
He chuckled. "Thaank Ewe, Skoot. I get better." He turned toward the hesitant Princess. "Can yoo talk mind?"
Seeing her nod, he tried to focus. "Testing. Testing. Can you hear me?"
"INDEED."
He winced, hard. "Lawd. That was... be qie ter?"
"...Better?"
He nodded. "Thank you. I gather from the others that you are here to help the girls out. I've been walking about pretty arbitrarily, can I get better directions? This much raw magic has been messing with my mind and body."
She blinked.
"AGREED."
Dang it! That really rattled the timbers.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Surprisingly, or perhaps not, the three girls adapted to a talking pet pretty quickly. Introductions went around, and they took the whole 'The big guy was Burnie, call me Adam' thing well enough.
Having Princess Luna formally introduced also prevented that awkward 'I can't admit I know you' mess, and it allowed him to finally ask some questions.
No idea if this was a canon universe or not, but at the very least the general idea of the world was pretty spot on. Obviously she was a bit hesitant after spotting some of his more special memories, some which slipped through during mental conversation (He was a telepath with very little mental training, spurting random inappropriate images was expected), but since the girls were safe she seemed to relax after a while. Kept her eye on him though.
Squishy had taken over the Golden Garden in his soul and set 'Research' and 'Technomancy' to go nuts over everything recorded during his 'split' earlier. The new magical artificial intelligence, or Mai, was an amazing mass of data for review. The ability to create minions that could not only handle simple tasks but grow if desired into full beings was a very welcome ability, even if he didn't dare risk trying again for some time.
After all, Mai had not stopped absorbing wild magic after she had gained control of 'Burnie'. Who was a girl now. Because Mai was a girl. Because of course she is.
He blamed Squishy. Mai was perfectly fine being a gender-less Artificial Intelligence for all of twenty minutes before the two started 'talking', and now ALL future AI's (or Mai's) would be female.
Didn't he get a vote? Then again, did he want to be surrounded by men in his mind/powers for all eternity either? Would he be sexist if he did? If he didn't?
He ended up putting the whole mess out of his mind for now, and let Mai do what she liked with the clubhouse as it moved toward Ponyville. It was more than a few miles away, and without Luna's guidance he would have gone in the wrong direction a dozen times by now, no doubt.
Eventually, even the excitement of having royal visitors and a new dog friend/pet wasn't enough to keep the three girls up. It had been a fairly long day, and the three ended up sleeping again in their rooms while Luna firmly led him to another area.
After a bit of talking, which greatly helped his coherency and elocution, she moved onto more serious issues.
Her gaze was firm. "Tell me, Adam. Tell me your origin, your needs, your goals." She tilted her head, her horn glowing faintly. "And I warn you, should you have ill intent, especially toward the younglings, I shall not be pleased."
That... was far more intimidating than he expected. He gave a weak 'smile', as far as a wolfs face could. "Of course. Are you aware of dimensions? Specifically, alternative ones?"
She blinked, but nodded. "We have found artifacts through time that can either observe or travel to such. A pond that copies a viewer from other lands, mirror that allows travel to a world where ponies did not become the dominant species, and so forth."
He paused. Huh. That pond episode implied that Pinkie was copying herself, not creating clones from other existences. They all ended up dying too, he thought. Dark.
Adam nodded. "I come from a place full of danger, where those I care for are at grave risk. I did not seek to travel here, but to travel to a place that would allow me to grow and return home to face my foes."
He held up a claw, blue flames softly crackling. "On arrival, I was but a flame of my former self. I landed on 'Burnie' and, during my mindless attempts to heal, consumed him. However, that was my first experience with magic... and it all went very odd from there."
She glanced at the flames, before lightly chuckling. "You were acting very drunk, to be honest. Even your thoughts, perverted though they were, felt confused and unguided."
His wooden face seemed to blush blue flames. "Oh. In my defense, men being perverted is, to a certain extent, expected in my world."
Luna seemed to be strangely relaxed at the moment. "Some sort of monkey race? Or ape? With horns. And ye were a set of monkey bones in a suit."
He waved a paw. "That was just my girlfriend. Beings in my world have both powers and possibly mutations or deformities. Her abilities were used to create that horn, which is not only used as a uniform symbol but can be an emergency weapon if needed." Seeing her expression he shrugged. "And like her uniform, the skeleton thing was my costume."
She gave him a dry look. "We've seen uniforms before. Ponies may not wear much clothing, but that does not seem to be the norm in your society."
Adam sighed. "Fine, we're both perverts. Don't tell me ponies are all pure of thought and such on that subject?"
Luna chuckled. "In open forums, we are of course innocent and naive of all things. But in private... well, we've never had population issues."
'We' as in ponies in general, or 'We' as in royal we?
And there were the strange thoughts. "Moving on." Very strange thoughts. And from Luna's smirk, she caught a few.
Great. "Anyway, my initial journey was difficult and damaging. Finding those three fillies in danger gave me something to do while my body was recovering. And I think I was adopted as a pet."
He sighed. "It was very odd. All of it."
She glanced over at the 'window'. The two were resting on the couches in one of the six skulls, the 'Growth' one fittingly enough, and idly watching the two nearest heads carve a tunnel in the undergrowth on the way towards civilization. "And this creature you formed?"
He felt something crunch beneath Mai's back left root-claws. "It was a mutated body at first, too full of power and myself far too damaged to handle it. Now she is a creature of her own." He winced. "Remind me to tell Scootaloo she is now called 'Mai.'"
Seeing her confusion he sighed. "Not my choice. Anyway, Mai is happy enough to be the girl's pet, but the help of a Princess or two to smooth things over would be very appreciated."
She gave him a dry look. "You wish to give control of a city sized mountain of wood, stone, and death to a little girl with almost zero self control or maturity."
He blinked. "Huh. Maybe the magical overload is still affecting me. But yeah, I still do sort-of." He waved a claw. "The girls probably could use a bit of muscle backup anyway. No idea how they survived long enough for me to save them."
Luna watched a head the size of a barn grind its teeth into a cliff, rubble crumbling to the ground. "Right." She looked back at Adam. "And the rest of it?"
He shrugged. "I need information about magic, how to prevent something like THIS..." He waved at the glowing skull the two were resting in. "...From happening again. I also need information on time and time travel magic, the goal being to be able to return home at or near my departure time."
She frowned. "That information... it is not necessarily restricted to outsiders, but ye need certain competency examinations first. It could take time."
Adam hummed, which transformed into something between a purr and a deep, slow growl. "I may be able to offer trade. I have skills, some less useful in a world this saturated with magic, but others... healing, or cosmetic work. Advanced tool creation, or the ability to rapidly improve existing technology."
While really power drunk, he had tried to convert material into Flame Metal and Null Metal, but neither came out right. Something about the raw potential here messed the ratios up... or he was too damaged... or something. Squishy assured him it would work fine in Worm and other, less magical realms. Getting it to work here would take more power charges.
She hummed. "It isn't so much a price issue, as a safety one. The time manipulation spells we have in the archives were designed from the ground up to prevent paradoxes or cascade failures and such. This makes them safer, but far more likely to wipe out the caster than actually transmit ye to the past."
Seeing him slouch, she patted his back with her wing. "We did not say no, but ye should talk to our sister first. She has spent many hours exploring magic."
He gave her a weak grin. "Well, problems will come and I shall solve them eventually." He leaned back into the couch. "I plan to quietly and safely study the local creatures, read many books, and use my own talents to grow for a time before moving on to another place outside everything. I will try not to be a bother."
They sat in silence for a while, watching creatures flee in terror as death mouths continued to consume a path.
She pointed to the left. "That is a spawn from Cthaeghya. Not the worse in the area, but if you could just..."
A massive claw smashed the entire area.
Luna nodded. "Thank you, we can never seem to get them all. Very quick."
Eww, it was gooey. He watched Mia wiped her heavy claw-roots before moving along. Not having to touch THAT was worth the hour or so of raw torture as his soul tried to duplicate itself. Or copy itself. Honestly, that time period was as confusing as most of the magic-drunk time.
Whatever Burnie Jr. was going through looked... very painful.
Like most times, she was the only one of the three fillies willing to step up when things went odd. Some would say this was recklessness, and they weren't wrong, but Rainbow Dash said it was her awesomeness being too cool for amazingville. Or something.
Point was, it was her pet, and she had responsibilities.
"It's alright boy, just... calm down. Princess Luna, can't we do something? He looks really hurt."
Luna looked at the writhing pile of lumber, dragging itself out from the remains of a tree. She took a slow, deep breath. Calm. "Girls, please step back and cover your ears. I shall be using the 'Royal Canterlot Voice' again, it will be loud."
The two girls dragged Scootaloo back as she took a deep breath.
"CREATURE."
The skull of the wolf twisted toward her, jaws opening. "WAaRgh mianaatue."
She blinked.
Before she could do anything, the wolf's spine snapped, everything straightening out and twisting. "Wahn minuute. Spaken be hard."
Scootaloo squealed! "He can do tricks!"
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Something inside Adam snapped into place, 'Recovery' suddenly operating on TWO creatures, one still growing (and eating), his current smaller form rapidly reconstituting into a more standard timberwolf form.
'Burnie the Traveling Club House' was now running on a combination of AI and raw magic, like an advanced version of Kaa or his other constructs. Controllable by Adam like any other creation, but also with its own mind and ideas... on a very very low level.
Slightly lower than a normal dog, now. But rapidly improving.
And his mind... was free!
Layers of magic had been stripped from his soul, using Burnie as a power sink to free him from the burden.
It was like layers of ash and smog was swept away from his vision.
Even better, the raw power that Burnie was still gathering was going through purification processes via the soil, roots, and other materials that composed its massive bulk.
He glanced down. Exposed to so much uncontrolled, tainted magic, his form had mutated badly. A few thoughts to 'Recovery' fused his many limbs down to four (And a tail!), the multiple skulls stopped forming, and his body began expelling the random twinges of creature magic that floated in the air.
Now he was... well, he was big, but only on the size of Luna. Not building large. Some of his internal wooden parts had crystallized, and his eyes were blue gems of raw magic, but he wasn't dripping power or feeling uncontrollable urges to eat everything.
It was a new sort of balance really.
Looking back at the still stunned fillies and wary Alicorn, he gave what was a (hopefully) innocent expression and 'Please don't blast me' smile and sat on his haunches. "Gooad Evaning!" He frowned. "Eave ning."
Grumble. "Taulking wid a snout is hrarder than I taught."
Somehow it was expected Scootaloo would recover first. "You're doing great, Burnie Jr! None of the other pets I know can even shake hands! I think."
He chuckled. "Thaank Ewe, Skoot. I get better." He turned toward the hesitant Princess. "Can yoo talk mind?"
Seeing her nod, he tried to focus. "Testing. Testing. Can you hear me?"
"INDEED."
He winced, hard. "Lawd. That was... be qie ter?"
"...Better?"
He nodded. "Thank you. I gather from the others that you are here to help the girls out. I've been walking about pretty arbitrarily, can I get better directions? This much raw magic has been messing with my mind and body."
She blinked.
"AGREED."
Dang it! That really rattled the timbers.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Surprisingly, or perhaps not, the three girls adapted to a talking pet pretty quickly. Introductions went around, and they took the whole 'The big guy was Burnie, call me Adam' thing well enough.
Having Princess Luna formally introduced also prevented that awkward 'I can't admit I know you' mess, and it allowed him to finally ask some questions.
No idea if this was a canon universe or not, but at the very least the general idea of the world was pretty spot on. Obviously she was a bit hesitant after spotting some of his more special memories, some which slipped through during mental conversation (He was a telepath with very little mental training, spurting random inappropriate images was expected), but since the girls were safe she seemed to relax after a while. Kept her eye on him though.
Squishy had taken over the Golden Garden in his soul and set 'Research' and 'Technomancy' to go nuts over everything recorded during his 'split' earlier. The new magical artificial intelligence, or Mai, was an amazing mass of data for review. The ability to create minions that could not only handle simple tasks but grow if desired into full beings was a very welcome ability, even if he didn't dare risk trying again for some time.
After all, Mai had not stopped absorbing wild magic after she had gained control of 'Burnie'. Who was a girl now. Because Mai was a girl. Because of course she is.
He blamed Squishy. Mai was perfectly fine being a gender-less Artificial Intelligence for all of twenty minutes before the two started 'talking', and now ALL future AI's (or Mai's) would be female.
Didn't he get a vote? Then again, did he want to be surrounded by men in his mind/powers for all eternity either? Would he be sexist if he did? If he didn't?
He ended up putting the whole mess out of his mind for now, and let Mai do what she liked with the clubhouse as it moved toward Ponyville. It was more than a few miles away, and without Luna's guidance he would have gone in the wrong direction a dozen times by now, no doubt.
Eventually, even the excitement of having royal visitors and a new dog friend/pet wasn't enough to keep the three girls up. It had been a fairly long day, and the three ended up sleeping again in their rooms while Luna firmly led him to another area.
After a bit of talking, which greatly helped his coherency and elocution, she moved onto more serious issues.
Her gaze was firm. "Tell me, Adam. Tell me your origin, your needs, your goals." She tilted her head, her horn glowing faintly. "And I warn you, should you have ill intent, especially toward the younglings, I shall not be pleased."
That... was far more intimidating than he expected. He gave a weak 'smile', as far as a wolfs face could. "Of course. Are you aware of dimensions? Specifically, alternative ones?"
She blinked, but nodded. "We have found artifacts through time that can either observe or travel to such. A pond that copies a viewer from other lands, mirror that allows travel to a world where ponies did not become the dominant species, and so forth."
He paused. Huh. That pond episode implied that Pinkie was copying herself, not creating clones from other existences. They all ended up dying too, he thought. Dark.
Adam nodded. "I come from a place full of danger, where those I care for are at grave risk. I did not seek to travel here, but to travel to a place that would allow me to grow and return home to face my foes."
He held up a claw, blue flames softly crackling. "On arrival, I was but a flame of my former self. I landed on 'Burnie' and, during my mindless attempts to heal, consumed him. However, that was my first experience with magic... and it all went very odd from there."
She glanced at the flames, before lightly chuckling. "You were acting very drunk, to be honest. Even your thoughts, perverted though they were, felt confused and unguided."
His wooden face seemed to blush blue flames. "Oh. In my defense, men being perverted is, to a certain extent, expected in my world."
Luna seemed to be strangely relaxed at the moment. "Some sort of monkey race? Or ape? With horns. And ye were a set of monkey bones in a suit."
He waved a paw. "That was just my girlfriend. Beings in my world have both powers and possibly mutations or deformities. Her abilities were used to create that horn, which is not only used as a uniform symbol but can be an emergency weapon if needed." Seeing her expression he shrugged. "And like her uniform, the skeleton thing was my costume."
She gave him a dry look. "We've seen uniforms before. Ponies may not wear much clothing, but that does not seem to be the norm in your society."
Adam sighed. "Fine, we're both perverts. Don't tell me ponies are all pure of thought and such on that subject?"
Luna chuckled. "In open forums, we are of course innocent and naive of all things. But in private... well, we've never had population issues."
'We' as in ponies in general, or 'We' as in royal we?
And there were the strange thoughts. "Moving on." Very strange thoughts. And from Luna's smirk, she caught a few.
Great. "Anyway, my initial journey was difficult and damaging. Finding those three fillies in danger gave me something to do while my body was recovering. And I think I was adopted as a pet."
He sighed. "It was very odd. All of it."
She glanced over at the 'window'. The two were resting on the couches in one of the six skulls, the 'Growth' one fittingly enough, and idly watching the two nearest heads carve a tunnel in the undergrowth on the way towards civilization. "And this creature you formed?"
He felt something crunch beneath Mai's back left root-claws. "It was a mutated body at first, too full of power and myself far too damaged to handle it. Now she is a creature of her own." He winced. "Remind me to tell Scootaloo she is now called 'Mai.'"
Seeing her confusion he sighed. "Not my choice. Anyway, Mai is happy enough to be the girl's pet, but the help of a Princess or two to smooth things over would be very appreciated."
She gave him a dry look. "You wish to give control of a city sized mountain of wood, stone, and death to a little girl with almost zero self control or maturity."
He blinked. "Huh. Maybe the magical overload is still affecting me. But yeah, I still do sort-of." He waved a claw. "The girls probably could use a bit of muscle backup anyway. No idea how they survived long enough for me to save them."
Luna watched a head the size of a barn grind its teeth into a cliff, rubble crumbling to the ground. "Right." She looked back at Adam. "And the rest of it?"
He shrugged. "I need information about magic, how to prevent something like THIS..." He waved at the glowing skull the two were resting in. "...From happening again. I also need information on time and time travel magic, the goal being to be able to return home at or near my departure time."
She frowned. "That information... it is not necessarily restricted to outsiders, but ye need certain competency examinations first. It could take time."
Adam hummed, which transformed into something between a purr and a deep, slow growl. "I may be able to offer trade. I have skills, some less useful in a world this saturated with magic, but others... healing, or cosmetic work. Advanced tool creation, or the ability to rapidly improve existing technology."
While really power drunk, he had tried to convert material into Flame Metal and Null Metal, but neither came out right. Something about the raw potential here messed the ratios up... or he was too damaged... or something. Squishy assured him it would work fine in Worm and other, less magical realms. Getting it to work here would take more power charges.
She hummed. "It isn't so much a price issue, as a safety one. The time manipulation spells we have in the archives were designed from the ground up to prevent paradoxes or cascade failures and such. This makes them safer, but far more likely to wipe out the caster than actually transmit ye to the past."
Seeing him slouch, she patted his back with her wing. "We did not say no, but ye should talk to our sister first. She has spent many hours exploring magic."
He gave her a weak grin. "Well, problems will come and I shall solve them eventually." He leaned back into the couch. "I plan to quietly and safely study the local creatures, read many books, and use my own talents to grow for a time before moving on to another place outside everything. I will try not to be a bother."
They sat in silence for a while, watching creatures flee in terror as death mouths continued to consume a path.
She pointed to the left. "That is a spawn from Cthaeghya. Not the worse in the area, but if you could just..."
A massive claw smashed the entire area.
Luna nodded. "Thank you, we can never seem to get them all. Very quick."
Eww, it was gooey. He watched Mia wiped her heavy claw-roots before moving along. Not having to touch THAT was worth the hour or so of raw torture as his soul tried to duplicate itself. Or copy itself. Honestly, that time period was as confusing as most of the magic-drunk time.
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Jonn Wolfe
(Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)
- Location
- Beyond Sanity Since 1971
So, for the Ponies sake of understanding, he was drunk on Salty Beer, right? heh
Glad that he's getting help.
This branch (hah!) of the story has me grinning like a fool.
Glad that he's getting help.
This branch (hah!) of the story has me grinning like a fool.
- Location
- florida
Tree of harmony: "Hold my beer."
- Location
- Russia
Isn't it from Cthulhu Mythos?
Ponies and Lovecraftian horrors combined together in one universe. Cool, even more crazy. Now with tentacles!
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- Location
- Barquisimeto
Lady he made Amy the richest little girl on the planet, he would without doubt. Being high or not.
- Location
- North Carolina
Technically if you go with the infinite universes idea. All universe have the potential to have love craft in them. Especially the more magical ones.
Can a Wood Wolf Blush?
- Location
- Here
Twilight Sparkle sighed, closing her book. "Come on, Rainbow Dash." She glanced at her assistant, the small purple dragon Spike. "We had Spike send Princess Celestia a request for help, Princess Luna found them, and they will be brought back today. Probably before lunch."
The floating Pegasus was darting in a large circle. Far too close to her books. "But Twilight, what if they're hurt, or if monsters got them, or... or... who knows what!"
Applejack jerked at the noise, nearly falling off the couch. Searching for the three fillies had kept her up all night, having unfortunately missed the messages Twilight had sent out after Luna found the trio. She was fighting the urge to sleep for hours now.
She yawned. "Rainbow, they have Princess Luna with them. They are safer there with her than nearly anywhere." She fought back the slow weight that seemed to pull her deeper into the soft cushions. "Ah mean, gonna still ground her forever. But they'll be fine."
Pinkie Pie bounced in from... somewhere. Twilight had tried to comprehend exactly what spells the bouncy filly used to move places, produce items, and more... and it hadn't gone well.
Her bright pink mane fluffed as she... looked concerned? That... was bad.
Twilight closed her book. While possibly helpful (Covering ethically efficient child enforcement choices), Pinkie usually had good reason whenever she was acting serious.
Her eyes scanned the hollow library tree Twilight lived in, before staring in... confusion? "Oh my gosh! Twilight, my knee is all kinds of pinchy! And... I don't even know what! Doozy Paloozas!"
All the other ponies blinked, before turning to Twilight. Her sigh was a bit deeper. It was too early for this. Pulling out a small, pink notebook, she began checking. "Aching shoulder, flopping ears, wiggling nose... ah. Pinchy knee means... something scary is going to happen?"
She paused, before checking the rest of the notes. It had taken far too much pain and embarrassment to translate even THIS much of 'Pinkie Sense', and silly name aside... it was disturbing. "I don't see the rest. But just in case, everyone have their 'Elements of Harmony?'"
It had only taken a couple of security failures and near disasters before Twilight had forced ALL her friends to learn the basic pocket dimension spells. It was FAR too dangerous to allow these artifacts to be stolen or lost. Again.
She watched with a smug feeling inside as the others equipped the magic enhancers. 'This spell is too hard', 'I don't get it', 'Why make us do this'... who was the smart one now! Twilight glanced in the corners of the room for the two more quiet members.
For once, Rarity was actually very subdued and Fluttershy, of all ponies, was quietly giving her words of support. Rarity was 300% confidence and 200% self-assurance, so seeing her so worried was a little heartbreaking.
She had her magic give a small spark to gather their attention. "Alright girls, Luna's last message to Spike said she would be reaching the west gate side of the town. I'm sure the girls were out adventuring along the road and walked too far or something, but just in case this is related to Pinkie's premonitions... well, why not wait over there a bit?"
And Rainbow Dash was gone, a rainbow blur heading off... well, in the wrong direction for a few seconds. Why the shock and rush? Didn't she pay attention when Twilight mentioned all of this hours ago, when the letter arrived? Probably too worried to pay attention. She gave up on stopping the flyer and instead tried to follow close enough to Rarity to give emotional support without being too obvious.
When the girls went missing, Rarity and Rainbow Dash took it hardest. Everyone only discovered the issue because Scootaloo apparently had not shown up at Rainbow's place, some sort of sleepover or something, and when tracking the clues down they had discovered that Rarity had been a bit snappy when the three girls had begged her to take them somewhere.
A large clothing order had come in this week, and Rarity had sent them away to play, not knowing the three would vanish in the process. Not really her fault, Twilight knew, the trio got lost constantly and had numerous antics... but Rarity was feeling deep guilt for not asking for more details, or paying enough attention to recall where they said they were going.
Twilight's nerves on the other hoof were far more settled. Mostly due to how reliably her teacher in Magic, Princess Celestia, had once again handled the situation. Or to be more accurate, her reliable delegation. Thanks to alerting Princess Luna, everything was handled due to her being willing and able to find the three lost children. Even walk them home, of all things.
After arriving at the western gate however, none of them were too surprised when Rainbow Dash began making rapid trips in various directions to find the girls a little bit sooner.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Scootaloo whispered. "I heard it before, and I am SURE this is a date!"
Apple Bloom groaned. "They are just sitting on a couch. Not even that close to each other! And Princess Luna is not going to date your pet's... child. Thing."
Sweetie Belle was actively ignoring the two at this point.
Scootaloo frowned. "This morning, Burnie 2.0 told me that the BIG one is now called 'Mai', while his name was 'Adam'." She shook her head. "Alright, they weren't touching or nothing, but Rainbow Dash said a quiet night in a dim room with flowers and snacks and stuff totally counts as a date!"
Apple Bloom glanced at the flowers that grew everywhere and felt there was a flaw in the argument SOMEWHERE, but couldn't find it. "But Princess Luna never seemed that interested in dating before."
Scootaloo gave a wise nod. "Exactly! She's like really old." She winced and checked... good, coast was clear. "I mean, matured. Or whatever. I bet she is super tired of normal old ponies and griffons and stuff."
Sweetie Belle seemed to be ignoring everything REALLY REALLY hard.
Apple Bloom frowned. "Ah think that there was a Buffalo-Pony couple a year or two back, but ah never heard of someone dating a bush. Or tree. And a timberwolf is like... half tree-bush. Easily."
Scootaloo was leading the trio away from the two possible lovebirds. "Rainbow Dash read me a story once about how strong emotion allows you to do anything... or something. Might have been strong motions? Or lotion?" Her sentence drifted away before she gave up. "We got distracted in the middle of the story telling somewhere. Point is, you can date a tree if you believe hard enough."
Apple Bloom shrugged. "But isn't that the point? Why would you try so hard? Ah've seen nothing but apple tree's mah whole life basically, and I never said: 'Those are some mighty handsome apples you got there Mr. Tree!'"
Scootaloo paused and frowned. "You know, I never thanked those trees either. And the trees here had faces and yell when eaten." Seeing the shock of her friends, she waved a hoof. "Burnie was eating a lot of face trees late last night."
Focusing on the important part, she continued. "I never once thanked a tree. Maybe it is easier to date a tree if you like... get to know them better? Like... I don't know, ask what kind of weather they like best or something?"
Apple Bloom seemed lost in an earlier conversation. "And ah tree can't move much, so you would have to have all your dates in one place. And Granny Smith says variety is the spice of life... or something. Then again, it would explain Applejack getting up so early to buck all those apple trees."
Her eyes got wider. "Is bucking apples off a tree a date!? Am ah being taught to date trees!?"
Sweetie Belle whimpered. Ignore. Everything.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Luna was refreshing to spend time with. The ongoing telepathy was also lovely, and 'Research' was going nuts over all the recorded mental imagery.
Before she realized he could examine the magical thoughts, his speaking ability had already skyrocketed. Once she realized WHY he could now speak so well, she began sharing all kinds of stuff. Old languages, written and otherwise, traditions of the past, people she knew back... back then.
The quiet atmosphere became quite pleasant as the two silently sent mental messages through the night, random targets of squashitunity being designated by Luna as they night passed.
The atmosphere then got very odd after the trio of fillies finally woke each other up and began 'secretly' 'spying' on the two.
Loudly.
About, of all things, romance. Lovely.
Adam cleared his throat. "Just as an unrelated, random note: While I would be very lucky to date such a pony, a princess at that, I did mention earlier that I am romantically involved with another."
A mental query had him passing a memory of Narwhal introducing herself.
And bending over.
And wearing that shirt.
And NOT wearing... NO, mind stop. Stop.
Something else.
Cats. Cats are nice.
Princess Luna started chuckling. "Indeed. Everyone loves cats."
Her sudden mental query hit his head, and he reflexively responded with... uh. A very detailed memory. Or two.
From her stunned and embarrassed expression, Adam knew her psychic exchange had been intended to be the equivalent of a gentle shoulder tap to make someone look the wrong way.
Just... his reaction was to do the mental equivalent of 'You tapped my shoulder? Hold my underwear, I got this.'
So... he was not exactly an expert at mind communication. Clearly.
He coughed. Which sounded like a sneeze... wolves were weird. "Ah... how much did I just send you?"
Luna still seemed stunned. "How can one even BEND that way!?"
Dang it.
She paused. "What is a Swinger Couple?"
Triple Dang it. "Nothing. Ignore both of those. Those memories never happened."
Luna gave him a dry look. "If you only noticed two of the memories you sent me, then you are VERY bad at telepathy."
Dangity dang dang it.
He glanced at the sunrise. "How far till town?"
Her expression showed exactly how convincing his topic shift had been. "Several hours at least. Probably by noon we shall be out of the forest entirely." She seemed to pause, tasting the raw energy in the air.
The shadows twitched.
Princess Luna nodded. "By noon, surely. Although I feel one of the Elements of Harmony moving fairly quickly." She glanced at the large wolf. "Probably the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash. She's the only one fast enough to give these magical echos."
Adam nodded. "My memories are modified and damaged, but the thing that accidentally gave me my abilities implanted memories of certain realities into my brain. I have knowledge of at least one possible universe similar to this one, although it doesn't include me nor my actions."
Seeing her expression, he shrugged. "The information is not guaranteed, in fact I found flaws in it in the past. What I know that applies here most reliably relates to world construction and fate pivoting events or watersheds."
She hummed. "So something similar to those prediction cutie marks then. Some level of future sight exists in the entire Unicorn population anyway, but the range and accuracy vary heavily between ponies." Her sudden frown was saddening. "At least, they did in the past. We have prophecies and such for example, but I am not sure... It has..."
She sighed. "I have not kept up with society in the last few... decades. It was true... at one time. With a lack of conflict and war, I suppose the ability to detect incoming attacks would not be nearly as useful or practiced anymore."
The conversation got far more interesting after that. He didn't expose details, like the whole 'You were created to sell toys that come from a show about toys that were made for little children' thing. But mentally, he found that the two shared a love for the more interesting side of magic. And to be more exact, the intricacies of how to develop magic in general.
After all, Celestia may have a wider range of magical spells, practiced over literal centuries... but Luna had designed far more new ones herself. Creation over study, something possible to explore and develop alone. And when she was banished to the lonely moon, time was the one resource she had been blessed with.
And when the cold bit harder and her hunger grew stronger, she was forced to learn ever more efficient methods and habits. Survival first, after all.
Time slipped by while the two discussed events, brought up magical theory, and basically enjoyed having someone equally strange to talk with.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Twilight Sparkle was as surprised as the rest when Rainbow Dash smashed into a landing from a heavy height, just outside town. "Twilight, what do we do when the forest begins walking away!?"
She blinked. Pinkie Pie jumped up. "I know, I know! We ask it not to leaf!"
Her ears twitched. "Thank you Pinkie Pie. That was... lovely." Ignore it. "Now, calm a little and tell me exactly what you saw."
The flying rainbow pony was jerking back and forth ignoring everyone. "And it had a face and it was moving and I think it winked at me!? I won't take that, what kind of rock has the stones to wink at me! In fact, I'll go back and wink THREE TIMES as hard!"
"RAINBOW DASH!"
She jerked back, nearly hitting the ground. "Wha?" Looking at the others, she paused seeing their expressions.
Deep breath. Out. "I saw a mountain with six legs and at least three faces coming towards town."
Seeing the expressions she seemed to wilt. "But... I did!"
Pinkie Pie patted her shoulder. "I know, I know. They called me crazy once too. But then I built a cannon that shoots a party straight into your face! Who's crazy now!"
Somehow... yeah, compared to past, bizarre events... Twilight sighed. "How far away is it? And can you give me a drawing of it?"
Better to prepare for nothing then be surprised by something.
The floating Pegasus was darting in a large circle. Far too close to her books. "But Twilight, what if they're hurt, or if monsters got them, or... or... who knows what!"
Applejack jerked at the noise, nearly falling off the couch. Searching for the three fillies had kept her up all night, having unfortunately missed the messages Twilight had sent out after Luna found the trio. She was fighting the urge to sleep for hours now.
She yawned. "Rainbow, they have Princess Luna with them. They are safer there with her than nearly anywhere." She fought back the slow weight that seemed to pull her deeper into the soft cushions. "Ah mean, gonna still ground her forever. But they'll be fine."
Pinkie Pie bounced in from... somewhere. Twilight had tried to comprehend exactly what spells the bouncy filly used to move places, produce items, and more... and it hadn't gone well.
Her bright pink mane fluffed as she... looked concerned? That... was bad.
Twilight closed her book. While possibly helpful (Covering ethically efficient child enforcement choices), Pinkie usually had good reason whenever she was acting serious.
Her eyes scanned the hollow library tree Twilight lived in, before staring in... confusion? "Oh my gosh! Twilight, my knee is all kinds of pinchy! And... I don't even know what! Doozy Paloozas!"
All the other ponies blinked, before turning to Twilight. Her sigh was a bit deeper. It was too early for this. Pulling out a small, pink notebook, she began checking. "Aching shoulder, flopping ears, wiggling nose... ah. Pinchy knee means... something scary is going to happen?"
She paused, before checking the rest of the notes. It had taken far too much pain and embarrassment to translate even THIS much of 'Pinkie Sense', and silly name aside... it was disturbing. "I don't see the rest. But just in case, everyone have their 'Elements of Harmony?'"
It had only taken a couple of security failures and near disasters before Twilight had forced ALL her friends to learn the basic pocket dimension spells. It was FAR too dangerous to allow these artifacts to be stolen or lost. Again.
She watched with a smug feeling inside as the others equipped the magic enhancers. 'This spell is too hard', 'I don't get it', 'Why make us do this'... who was the smart one now! Twilight glanced in the corners of the room for the two more quiet members.
For once, Rarity was actually very subdued and Fluttershy, of all ponies, was quietly giving her words of support. Rarity was 300% confidence and 200% self-assurance, so seeing her so worried was a little heartbreaking.
She had her magic give a small spark to gather their attention. "Alright girls, Luna's last message to Spike said she would be reaching the west gate side of the town. I'm sure the girls were out adventuring along the road and walked too far or something, but just in case this is related to Pinkie's premonitions... well, why not wait over there a bit?"
And Rainbow Dash was gone, a rainbow blur heading off... well, in the wrong direction for a few seconds. Why the shock and rush? Didn't she pay attention when Twilight mentioned all of this hours ago, when the letter arrived? Probably too worried to pay attention. She gave up on stopping the flyer and instead tried to follow close enough to Rarity to give emotional support without being too obvious.
When the girls went missing, Rarity and Rainbow Dash took it hardest. Everyone only discovered the issue because Scootaloo apparently had not shown up at Rainbow's place, some sort of sleepover or something, and when tracking the clues down they had discovered that Rarity had been a bit snappy when the three girls had begged her to take them somewhere.
A large clothing order had come in this week, and Rarity had sent them away to play, not knowing the three would vanish in the process. Not really her fault, Twilight knew, the trio got lost constantly and had numerous antics... but Rarity was feeling deep guilt for not asking for more details, or paying enough attention to recall where they said they were going.
Twilight's nerves on the other hoof were far more settled. Mostly due to how reliably her teacher in Magic, Princess Celestia, had once again handled the situation. Or to be more accurate, her reliable delegation. Thanks to alerting Princess Luna, everything was handled due to her being willing and able to find the three lost children. Even walk them home, of all things.
After arriving at the western gate however, none of them were too surprised when Rainbow Dash began making rapid trips in various directions to find the girls a little bit sooner.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Scootaloo whispered. "I heard it before, and I am SURE this is a date!"
Apple Bloom groaned. "They are just sitting on a couch. Not even that close to each other! And Princess Luna is not going to date your pet's... child. Thing."
Sweetie Belle was actively ignoring the two at this point.
Scootaloo frowned. "This morning, Burnie 2.0 told me that the BIG one is now called 'Mai', while his name was 'Adam'." She shook her head. "Alright, they weren't touching or nothing, but Rainbow Dash said a quiet night in a dim room with flowers and snacks and stuff totally counts as a date!"
Apple Bloom glanced at the flowers that grew everywhere and felt there was a flaw in the argument SOMEWHERE, but couldn't find it. "But Princess Luna never seemed that interested in dating before."
Scootaloo gave a wise nod. "Exactly! She's like really old." She winced and checked... good, coast was clear. "I mean, matured. Or whatever. I bet she is super tired of normal old ponies and griffons and stuff."
Sweetie Belle seemed to be ignoring everything REALLY REALLY hard.
Apple Bloom frowned. "Ah think that there was a Buffalo-Pony couple a year or two back, but ah never heard of someone dating a bush. Or tree. And a timberwolf is like... half tree-bush. Easily."
Scootaloo was leading the trio away from the two possible lovebirds. "Rainbow Dash read me a story once about how strong emotion allows you to do anything... or something. Might have been strong motions? Or lotion?" Her sentence drifted away before she gave up. "We got distracted in the middle of the story telling somewhere. Point is, you can date a tree if you believe hard enough."
Apple Bloom shrugged. "But isn't that the point? Why would you try so hard? Ah've seen nothing but apple tree's mah whole life basically, and I never said: 'Those are some mighty handsome apples you got there Mr. Tree!'"
Scootaloo paused and frowned. "You know, I never thanked those trees either. And the trees here had faces and yell when eaten." Seeing the shock of her friends, she waved a hoof. "Burnie was eating a lot of face trees late last night."
Focusing on the important part, she continued. "I never once thanked a tree. Maybe it is easier to date a tree if you like... get to know them better? Like... I don't know, ask what kind of weather they like best or something?"
Apple Bloom seemed lost in an earlier conversation. "And ah tree can't move much, so you would have to have all your dates in one place. And Granny Smith says variety is the spice of life... or something. Then again, it would explain Applejack getting up so early to buck all those apple trees."
Her eyes got wider. "Is bucking apples off a tree a date!? Am ah being taught to date trees!?"
Sweetie Belle whimpered. Ignore. Everything.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Luna was refreshing to spend time with. The ongoing telepathy was also lovely, and 'Research' was going nuts over all the recorded mental imagery.
Before she realized he could examine the magical thoughts, his speaking ability had already skyrocketed. Once she realized WHY he could now speak so well, she began sharing all kinds of stuff. Old languages, written and otherwise, traditions of the past, people she knew back... back then.
The quiet atmosphere became quite pleasant as the two silently sent mental messages through the night, random targets of squashitunity being designated by Luna as they night passed.
The atmosphere then got very odd after the trio of fillies finally woke each other up and began 'secretly' 'spying' on the two.
Loudly.
About, of all things, romance. Lovely.
Adam cleared his throat. "Just as an unrelated, random note: While I would be very lucky to date such a pony, a princess at that, I did mention earlier that I am romantically involved with another."
A mental query had him passing a memory of Narwhal introducing herself.
And bending over.
And wearing that shirt.
And NOT wearing... NO, mind stop. Stop.
Something else.
Cats. Cats are nice.
Princess Luna started chuckling. "Indeed. Everyone loves cats."
Her sudden mental query hit his head, and he reflexively responded with... uh. A very detailed memory. Or two.
From her stunned and embarrassed expression, Adam knew her psychic exchange had been intended to be the equivalent of a gentle shoulder tap to make someone look the wrong way.
Just... his reaction was to do the mental equivalent of 'You tapped my shoulder? Hold my underwear, I got this.'
So... he was not exactly an expert at mind communication. Clearly.
He coughed. Which sounded like a sneeze... wolves were weird. "Ah... how much did I just send you?"
Luna still seemed stunned. "How can one even BEND that way!?"
Dang it.
She paused. "What is a Swinger Couple?"
Triple Dang it. "Nothing. Ignore both of those. Those memories never happened."
Luna gave him a dry look. "If you only noticed two of the memories you sent me, then you are VERY bad at telepathy."
Dangity dang dang it.
He glanced at the sunrise. "How far till town?"
Her expression showed exactly how convincing his topic shift had been. "Several hours at least. Probably by noon we shall be out of the forest entirely." She seemed to pause, tasting the raw energy in the air.
The shadows twitched.
Princess Luna nodded. "By noon, surely. Although I feel one of the Elements of Harmony moving fairly quickly." She glanced at the large wolf. "Probably the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash. She's the only one fast enough to give these magical echos."
Adam nodded. "My memories are modified and damaged, but the thing that accidentally gave me my abilities implanted memories of certain realities into my brain. I have knowledge of at least one possible universe similar to this one, although it doesn't include me nor my actions."
Seeing her expression, he shrugged. "The information is not guaranteed, in fact I found flaws in it in the past. What I know that applies here most reliably relates to world construction and fate pivoting events or watersheds."
She hummed. "So something similar to those prediction cutie marks then. Some level of future sight exists in the entire Unicorn population anyway, but the range and accuracy vary heavily between ponies." Her sudden frown was saddening. "At least, they did in the past. We have prophecies and such for example, but I am not sure... It has..."
She sighed. "I have not kept up with society in the last few... decades. It was true... at one time. With a lack of conflict and war, I suppose the ability to detect incoming attacks would not be nearly as useful or practiced anymore."
The conversation got far more interesting after that. He didn't expose details, like the whole 'You were created to sell toys that come from a show about toys that were made for little children' thing. But mentally, he found that the two shared a love for the more interesting side of magic. And to be more exact, the intricacies of how to develop magic in general.
After all, Celestia may have a wider range of magical spells, practiced over literal centuries... but Luna had designed far more new ones herself. Creation over study, something possible to explore and develop alone. And when she was banished to the lonely moon, time was the one resource she had been blessed with.
And when the cold bit harder and her hunger grew stronger, she was forced to learn ever more efficient methods and habits. Survival first, after all.
Time slipped by while the two discussed events, brought up magical theory, and basically enjoyed having someone equally strange to talk with.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Twilight Sparkle was as surprised as the rest when Rainbow Dash smashed into a landing from a heavy height, just outside town. "Twilight, what do we do when the forest begins walking away!?"
She blinked. Pinkie Pie jumped up. "I know, I know! We ask it not to leaf!"
Her ears twitched. "Thank you Pinkie Pie. That was... lovely." Ignore it. "Now, calm a little and tell me exactly what you saw."
The flying rainbow pony was jerking back and forth ignoring everyone. "And it had a face and it was moving and I think it winked at me!? I won't take that, what kind of rock has the stones to wink at me! In fact, I'll go back and wink THREE TIMES as hard!"
"RAINBOW DASH!"
She jerked back, nearly hitting the ground. "Wha?" Looking at the others, she paused seeing their expressions.
Deep breath. Out. "I saw a mountain with six legs and at least three faces coming towards town."
Seeing the expressions she seemed to wilt. "But... I did!"
Pinkie Pie patted her shoulder. "I know, I know. They called me crazy once too. But then I built a cannon that shoots a party straight into your face! Who's crazy now!"
Somehow... yeah, compared to past, bizarre events... Twilight sighed. "How far away is it? And can you give me a drawing of it?"
Better to prepare for nothing then be surprised by something.
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Zoroastrian
(Verified Lurker at the Threshold)
- Location
- Babylon, Mesopotamia
This is far more funny than it has any right to be, I'm not even familiar with the setting and I've chuckled at least 3 times.
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JBcristal
Bring Me All The Puppies!
- Location
- Somewhere that doesn't have enough puppies.
Aaaaand I choked on air. What the hell are you teaching the kids young lady.
For a setting I really do not care for, I am having an absolute blast with these characters so far.
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Jonn Wolfe
(Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)
- Location
- Beyond Sanity Since 1971
I think it's easier to read about the ponies, than watch bad animation about them.
Oh, and Adam's problems with telepathy vomit are fekken hilarious!rofl:
Oh, and Adam's problems with telepathy vomit are fekken hilarious!
rofl:- Status