You shoot the strange bald man a glare, before putting on the straightest face you can manage. "Please unlock the door before I kick it in." You ask dryly.
"And why would I do that?" He asks. Looking at him, he's easily much taller than you, almost towering over you. Dressed in black leather armor, you wouldn't be surprised if he had snuck up here. The only odd thing is the long spear he has on his back. You'd have expected daggers or something, but it's not like this is the first case you know of a criminal armed with a spear.
"Have no fear, there's beauty to be found in death!" He says mockingly. "Especially for myself, that is."
"No, seriously, I have places to be and I'd much rather not get held up any more than I already have been." You say, irritation beginning to win out over any semblance of politeness.
"Ah, I see. If they're so important, I'm sure you can get yourself out of something as simple as this." He says, his words practically dripping with smarminess.
You oblige. The first kick fails to accomplish much beyond an awkward silence when it causes the door to shake a bit. "Well, I'll be back in a few days to strip the trinkets off your corpse." The man says, turning to leave.
Then you kick the door again, and there is an audible groan as the metal begins to warp from the force. The man freezes, having only taken a few steps, before slowly turning back around. "What are yo-" he manages to get out, before a third and final kick causes the door to snap off its hinges, falling against the stone with a loud thud.
"Hi, I'm Sayaka Miki, and I really don't have time for this." You say with a smug grin of your own.
(Noticing: 66/100)
Your grin falls when you look at the man. You had expected surprise of some sort from him, but there is none of that apparent on his face. Instead, there is a serious expression as he seems to examine the situation nearly instantly. You blink, and all of this is replaced by what you
had expected: complete and utter shock and bewilderment.
The man falls to his knees. "Now hold on! You have to understand, running this business, there are these urges you get, and I hate myself for it, I do." He says, groveling before you. He seems to realize that he's making you uncomfortable, as he then pulls himself back up. "You know what I mean? Terrible, really, but I'm sure you'll forgive me, right?"
"Who even are you?"
"Me?" The man recoils, seemingly offended by your words. "Why, I'm Patches."
You tilt your head in confusion. "Your name is Patches?"
"Unbreakable Patches. You know, the world-renowned traveling merchant. Surely you've heard of me!"
"I'm not from around here." You say, gesturing to your attire, which feels more and more out of place every moment.
Patches rubs his chin in thought, before nodding. "Tell you what, I'm sure I have some clothing for sale that could fit you. You must be freezing wearing... whatever that is." He says, gesturing to your school uniform. Guess miniskirts aren't a thing here?
You blink. "Really?" That... would be rather convenient, truth be told.
"Yep, completely free of charge as well. Think of it as a token of my sincerity."
"Huh, well that's..." you pause. "Wait, didn't you plan on taking all of my stuff or something?"
"Pffft, that's all in the past! Don't get so hung up on it! Look, I'll even add in a discount to my wares, just for you."
How do you respond?
[] Agree, you're not sure how much longer you can handle being stuck in your school uniform when you could actually be a knight in shining armor!
[] Refuse, you'd much rather try and get something else out of this deal, and you transform anyway, so would getting new clothes, armor or otherwise, even matter?
[] Seriously, the man just admitted to planning on looting your corpse. You can't just let him off so easily! (Attempt to) convene a meeting of Firelink residents to decide on a proper punishment.
[] ...But it is really chilly, and something warmer than your school's spring uniform would be very much appreciated.
[] Write in
