Work on Wolfbait antics continues, pending any ideas @Old Iron has for Cool and Unusual punishment for Pennsy giving away the position of an expensive and precious American attack boat. On the plus side, Seawolf is now slated for refits similar to Jimmy Carter, but for entirely different reasons.
Captain Irons had always thought there was something singularly beautiful about American standard battleships. They weren't the fastest ships in the world, nor the sleekest, and while their rifles were mighty there were other ships like the Iowa sisters or Musashi who commanded a more potent chorus.
But there was something exquisite about a battle-line of matched siblings.
Each ship had her own pugnacious beauty, but a fleet of sisters danced an intricate ballet of fire and fury that nothing else in the world could match. A standard battle-line was a thing of unparalleled beauty, and now that he could see the dancers with his own eyes…
"You're not our admiral?" Said the bespectacled girl with the tiny pencil skirt and near-sheer thigh-highs. WeeVee, he recalled as she captured his arm between her refit-augmented bosoms.
"It's too bad," said Tennessee. She and her sister were the only ships to trade miniskirts for mini-dresses and stockings. How they weren't freezing when it was still unseasonably cold on Hawaii was beyond him. "You look like you've got potential."
Both women choose to ignore that comment. Gale coughed and took another bite. "Anyway," she said, dabbing some dressing from her lips, "you know how much a baby weighs at six months?"
Kirishima opened her mouth.
"AH!" Gale waved a finger, "I don't wanna know. It's two pounds by the way."
Kirishima nodded, cradling her own much flatter stomach. "That doesn't sound that bad…"
"Oh," Gale shook her head. "Oh, you poor, sweet summer child. I said a baby, not my baby." The sailor glanced down at her growing middle and sighed. "This little shit weighs eleven fucking pounds. I've got a lead fucking bowling ball in my belly that—" She suddenly sat up straight with a wince. "—Ah! Kicks me if she's not fed every hour on the hour."
"Oh," said Kirishima, putting a hand on Gale's in sympathy. It was clearly an act, and not a very good one, but at least the littlest dess was trying. "I'm sorry."
Gale sighed and shook her head. "You still want one of your own, don't you?"
Kirishima nodded. "Very much so, yes. Ideally three or four."
As they passed, Nevada looked back to give him a tiny wink, and Cali was clearly holding back a giggle. For some reason, that filled the captain with indescribable dread. It was almost like they were flirting with him, but that couldn't be, right? Didn't shipgirls only go after those of flag rank and above?
"Unfortunately, with the reconstruction and defense proceedings I'm not able to give them the attention they require," said Kinsey. Kanmusume were awesomely powerful on the waves, but they demanded a degree of micromanagement, patience, and… personal affection for lack of a better term. Just corralling them to the admiral's office had worn him out, he couldn't imagine trying to command them on a daily basis.
Irons squinted his eyes, indescribable dread starting to grow in his gut. "Yes?" After a moment, he added a hasty qualification. "But there haven't been any open positions with… all that's happened."
"One seems to have become available," said Kinsey. "I'm assigning the newly-returned battle line to your care, Admiral Irons."
Irons gulped.
"Of course…" Kinsey looked out a picture window that had been—before the Abyssal attack—a wall. "With the damage we've suffered, you'd need to room with them for the time being. I trust that won't be a problem?"
"Irons," said Kinsey, "You were on the track for rear admiral before the war broke out, correct?"
Irons squinted his eyes, indescribable dread starting to grow in his gut. "Yes?" After a moment, he added a hasty qualification. "But there haven't been any open positions with… all that's happened."
"One seems to have become available," said Kinsey. "I'm assigning the newly-returned battle line to your care, Admiral Irons."
Irons gulped.
"Of course…" Kinsey looked out a picture window that had been—before the Abyssal attack—a wall. "With the damage we've suffered, you'd need to room with them for the time being. I trust that won't be a problem?"
Mr. Kinsey, never send an officer to do an enlisted job. Especially not a GM's job.
Honestly, I'm tempted to write up a shipgirl story where, somehow, a Gunner's Mate winds up having to see to the needs of a DESRON of shipgirls. Which he handles quite well. Why?
Because he's a Salty Old Chief.
And when a Salty Old Chief is on the warpath? Not even an Admiral is gonna want to get in his way. Especially not a QMC, a BMC, or a GMC. (Quartermasters, Boatswain's Mates and Gunner's Mates are the three oldest rates in the Navy. You do the math. ) CS's come close. As one article puts it:
So when a cook tells you that CS was one of the original rates in the Navy, they're wrong and the macaroni and cheese tastes like feet. Tell them that. Tell them that specifically, and remember to use your tray as a shield to block the half-frozen hamburger patties they'll throw like ninja stars. Just because they're not one of the original ratings doesn't mean they're any less-skilled at throwing questionable meat products.
She's going to need custom-designed supportive maternity clothes. With elastic?
That said, I think Sparkly Magical Shipgirl Bullshit plays a major role here; the effects of the baby being too heavy/dense matter when it's funny or at least in some way 'cute' (i.e. forcing Gale to eat like a shipgirl), but not when it wouldn't be (i.e. Gale having some kind of ghastly hernia).
I mean, we know what happens when a shipgirl gets on a truck, right? The truck groans and creaks and stretches and in general has a Very Bad Day, because the shipgirl actually weighs like ten thousand tons. But realistically, ten thousand tons wouldn't just overload the truck, it'd pancake the truck. Instead, the shipgirl's weight just burdens the truck right up to the limit of what it can stand. But not enough to actually cause a sad or tragic result like bits of crushed truck flying everywhere and killing a bystander.
Well, in this case, Gale's the truck, and her daughter is the shipgirl. Effectively. So she's suffering and strained (like the truck) but not going to be permanently crippled by the experience (also like the truck).
Well, in this case, Gale's the truck, and her daughter is the shipgirl. Effectively. So she's suffering and strained (like the truck) but not going to be permanently crippled by the experience (also like the truck).
She's going to need custom-designed supportive maternity clothes. With elastic?
That said, I think Sparkly Magical Shipgirl Bullshit plays a major role here; the effects of the baby being too heavy/dense matter when it's funny or at least in some way 'cute' (i.e. forcing Gale to eat like a shipgirl), but not when it wouldn't be (i.e. Gale having some kind of ghastly hernia).
I mean, we know what happens when a shipgirl gets on a truck, right? The truck groans and creaks and stretches and in general has a Very Bad Day, because the shipgirl actually weighs like ten thousand tons. But realistically, ten thousand tons wouldn't just overload the truck, it'd pancake the truck. Instead, the shipgirl's weight just burdens the truck right up to the limit of what it can stand. But not enough to actually cause a sad or tragic result like bits of crushed truck flying everywhere and killing a bystander.
Well, in this case, Gale's the truck, and her daughter is the shipgirl. Effectively. So she's suffering and strained (like the truck) but not going to be permanently crippled by the experience (also like the truck).
I am fairly sure that the long-term consequences of a Magical Sparkly Shipgirl Bullshit pregnancy for Gale will not take as much off her lifespan (or, for that matter, her abs' lifespan) as a shipgirl passenger does off the lifespan of a truck's suspension.
Alternatively, one can even make a numbers argument. Carrying an eleven-pound (!) fetus is less impossibly disproportionately overwhelming for human anatomy than carrying a thirty thousand ton battleship is for a truck, so there's less of a disproportionality. Thus, the same amount of MSSB that fails to save the truck from lasting damage, can still save Gale from permanent damage.
"Irons," said Kinsey, "You were on the track for rear admiral before the war broke out, correct?"
Irons squinted his eyes, indescribable dread starting to grow in his gut. "Yes?" After a moment, he added a hasty qualification. "But there haven't been any open positions with… all that's happened."
"One seems to have become available," said Kinsey. "I'm assigning the newly-returned battle line to your care, Admiral Irons."
Well, as a harem comedy, I can definitely say that with my versions of the Battleship Row girls, West Virginia would be causing Captain Irons among the least trouble, while Maryland would be causing among the most.
Here, it looks like things would be the other way around.
Work on Wolfbait antics continues, pending any ideas @Old Iron has for Cool and Unusual punishment for Pennsy giving away the position of an expensive and precious American attack boat. On the plus side, Seawolf is now slated for refits similar to Jimmy Carter, but for entirely different reasons.
Don't worry I'm sure we'll see you-err Mr. Stewart be bullied soon enough. I do say its right about time for more bullying to happen.
With Pearl retaken, Battleship Row, Mo and Cheese Weeb being back, I do say that can light up the load considerably for a Certain Battle Cruiser, who may now find herself with more freetime than what she possibly knows what to do with... okay, maybe not more than what she can possibly do with, there is one thing she could certainly do.
For whatever reason, I just imagined, all our returned BBs more or less Together in one of the docks, And Iku wanted to oogle em, but she gets caught by one of the Standards (Pennsy or Ari, maybe West Virginia) and gets forced to the surface... right in the middle of many a, annoyed BBs...
I also imagined the Same situation but replaced Iku with Johnston, well because its Johnston we're talking about, Have that many BBs around and we all know she's gonna try to oogle em. Either way, the end result is something like this...
Indeed! Though whether or not if Gale's baby will be full bote ora half bote, or something of that nature but different from those two examples remains to be seen! However if we are to look at our one probable existing Case of child between a Human and a Ship, one Miss Jane Richardson. The very fact that ,among other odd peculitalities, that she has what amounts to Fairies of her own should be more than enough evidence to show her true nature is-*Sub Thiefed*
Well, as character designs, they aren't all that bad, though Okie's mild TTK-sexual nature makes me a tad curious. I tend to think of her as a bit of a lonely, even jealous sort, given that she was the other BB that was a total loss, but unlike Arizona, few remember her.
