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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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Do I need to write more depressing Soviets? Because I've got my three rubles right here to kick in for vodka and cheese.
 
Burning Baron said:
Why, you could buy a whole 6 postage stamps for that. (Seriously, I have a Soviet postage stamp that's 47 kopeks, or .47 rubles.)
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A part of my family was in maps and therefore Intel, and had to spend a lot of time doing Things with/in/around The Russia, and as a result I know lots of wierd shit. Specifically, three for the Russians is considered a very good number. So you want to go drinking with two friends, and you all pitch in three rubles for the vodka, and buy a little carton of cheese for the change. Thus you get provisions for friends.
 
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Omake: Shark Attack
  • Threadmarks
    • The hunters stalked the deep waters in the middle Pacific. Powerful flicks of their tails propelled them through the deep as they watched the faded moonlight above. A pale glow emanated from their ventral surfaces, providing camouflage from what lurked even deeper. Noticing a partial blocking of the moon, one of the hunters swam up to investigate the disturbance. Should it find a feast, the scent of tearing flesh would call the rest of its school to a plentiful feeding ground.

    =====================================================================

    "It wasn't so bad down here at night, actually."

    Shioi, second of the I-400 class of super submarines, one of the most advanced submersible craft of her time, was returning to base after a long couple of weeks scouting the Abyssals. Her hull still shivered at the thought of the sheer wrongness those twisted mockeries exuded from their misshapen hulls. They weren't very far off, as well. Had there been any ships with planes she was well within the range of the fanged monstrosities they used.

    That had been an unpleasant thing to find once she'd launched her planes. They only had so much fuel, so to maintain proper reconnaissance, she'd have to recover her planes within the scoutcraft range of her targets. Nothing too difficult, but still a little nerve wracking.

    Surfacing quietly, she recovered her planes, stowing them quickly as the night was fast approaching and the moon was bright in a cloudless sky. Being spotted would be detrimental to her well being, and being sunk would be horrible. She'd been sunk once already, and didn't feel like repeating the process while also being hit by the depth charges and torpedoes abyssal destroyers would hold.

    Planes recovered, she returned to depth, aiming to put a few dozen kilometers behind her before she surfaced and returned to port.

    She puttered along, making good time. It grew monotonous quickly, but you know what they say, warfare is 99% being bored out of your skull and 1% wishing you were, so she supposed she couldn't complain. Now back to sneaking back to port.

    =====================================================================

    The lone hunter swam towards its quarry. The prey was unusual, but had an incredibly strong aura around it, suggesting it was good prey. Swimming forward alongside its prey's smooth grey skin, it fastened its sucker like lips and began rasping away a chunk of flesh, which it quickly spat out as it tasted awful. It did smell a faint whiff of blood, so it kept at it, looking for the soft morsels of flesh underneath the disgusting exterior.

    =====================================================================

    "Ow! What the hell?!?

    Shioi felt a small flash of pain from her hull along the bottom of her conning tower, and had absolutely no idea what caused it. She'd not had the misfortune of feeling much pain when she was still merely a submarine, but from what she'd discussed with the various other returned ships, it didn't feel like being hit with a bullet likely would, regardless of the fact it wasn't even possible for a low caliber round to penetrate more than a few feet under the surface. She was very certain that it wasn't a torpedo, as if she had been hit by a torpedo she wouldn't be having these thoughts right now. By the same logic, and the size and location of the impact, it probably wasn't a mine either, unless the Abyssals had very tiny mines to slightly irritate enemy submarines.

    She'd report this once she returned to base, there was nothing she could do about what was in all honesty no worse than a shaving cut right now.

    =====================================================================

    The school could smell the barest trace of blood. It was unlike their normal prey, but still somewhat appetizing. They turned almost as one, and began to follow the trail inadvertently left by their fellow. Closing in, their electroreceptors detected something massive, and could practically tasted the bounty it would be.

    =====================================================================

    Shioi had just about put the incident out of her mind, going forward in her patrol.

    Then it happened again.

    And again.

    And again.

    It was quite similar to one of her officers getting a paper cut, once she thought about it. Annoying, and somewhat painful, but not very damaging. Just taking bits of her outer hull.

    She looked, as she was, in some weird sense, a girl as well as a ship, and saw small lights flashing around her. Looking closer she noticed a small fish, barely 50 centimeters long, latching onto her anechoic tiles and ripping small chunks out of it.

    It was the weirdest thing she had ever seen, and the irritating thing was that she could do almost nothing do about it.

    After a few minutes of trying to think of a way to swat the things attacking her hull, she just decided to surface and see if they would go away.

    After about thirty minutes of the little bastards ruining her tiles, and her surfacing and having fairies try to fight them off pistols, they decided she wasn't worth any more effort. She did get a pretty good look at the things, and she was able to recognize some features that made identifying the things a possibility.

    =====================================================================
    The hunters retreated. The prey had risen to the surface, and small things the hunters had no conceptions of had managed to hurt their lateral lines and kill a number without biting them. Those that remained alive had fled, as this was not easy prey that would allow them their feast, as the similar tasting prey all those years ago had.
    =====================================================================

    She made what had been probably the weirdest call in her life, which had an admittedly small period she could actually call people in. Taking a deep breath because she was a little weirded out by the whole thing, she dialed a number and then said some word that she had never imagined herself saying.

    "Admiral? I think I just got attacked by school of sharks."

    So I've been sitting on this for maybe a year? I don't know why I never posted this previously, but I was cleaning my Google Docs and found this again, so I cleaned up some parts and decided to go ahead. If some parts seem different and (hopefully) better written, you can chalk that up to a year of writing experience being heaped on top.

    This was based on me reading an article on Bogleech about deep sea fish, and how Cookie Cutter Sharks took bites out of the Sonar domes of SSNs, which caused enough problems the navy apparently thought it was some secret Soviet weapon. I don't know what convinced them it wasn't, but the idea of the Cold War turning hot over fish biting submarines is darkly amusing to me. I could probably write another two hundred words on how fascinating I find these things, but I'm not. They do have some of the largest teeth proportional to total size of any vertebrate though, so that's neat.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Glitchrr36 said:
    The hunters stalked the deep waters in the middle Pacific. Powerful flicks of their tails propelled them through the deep as they watched the faded moonlight above. A pale glow emanated from their ventral surfaces, providing camouflage from what lurked even deeper. Noticing a partial blocking of the moon, one of the hunters swam up to investigate the disturbance. Should it find a feast, the scent of tearing flesh would call the rest of its school to a plentiful feeding ground.

    =====================================================================

    "It wasn't so bad down here at night, actually."

    Shioi, second of the I-400 class of super submarines, one of the most advanced submersible craft of her time, was returning to base after a long couple of weeks scouting the Abyssals. Her hull still shivered at the thought of the sheer wrongness those twisted mockeries exuded from their misshapen hulls. They weren't very far off, as well. Had there been any ships with planes she was well within the range of the fanged monstrosities they used.

    That had been an unpleasant thing to find once she'd launched her planes. They only had so much fuel, so to maintain proper reconnaissance, she'd have to recover her planes within the scoutcraft range of her targets. Nothing too difficult, but still a little nerve wracking.

    Surfacing quietly, she recovered her planes, stowing them quickly as the night was fast approaching and the moon was bright in a cloudless sky. Being spotted would be detrimental to her well being, and being sunk would be horrible. She'd been sunk once already, and didn't feel like repeating the process while also being hit by the depth charges and torpedoes abyssal destroyers would hold.

    Planes recovered, she returned to depth, aiming to put a few dozen kilometers behind her before she surfaced and returned to port.

    She puttered along, making good time. It grew monotonous quickly, but you know what they say, warfare is 99% being bored out of your skull and 1% wishing you were, so she supposed she couldn't complain. Now back to sneaking back to port.

    =====================================================================

    The lone hunter swam towards its quarry. The prey was unusual, but had an incredibly strong aura around it, suggesting it was good prey. Swimming forward alongside its prey's smooth grey skin, it fastened its sucker like lips and began rasping away a chunk of flesh, which it quickly spat out as it tasted awful. It did smell a faint whiff of blood, so it kept at it, looking for the soft morsels of flesh underneath the disgusting exterior.

    =====================================================================

    "Ow! What the hell?!?

    Shioi felt a small flash of pain from her hull along the bottom of her conning tower, and had absolutely no idea what caused it. She'd not had the misfortune of feeling much pain when she was still merely a submarine, but from what she'd discussed with the various other returned ships, it didn't feel like being hit with a bullet likely would, regardless of the fact it wasn't even possible for a low caliber round to penetrate more than a few feet under the surface. She was very certain that it wasn't a torpedo, as if she had been hit by a torpedo she wouldn't be having these thoughts right now. By the same logic, and the size and location of the impact, it probably wasn't a mine either, unless the Abyssals had very tiny mines to slightly irritate enemy submarines.

    She'd report this once she returned to base, there was nothing she could do about what was in all honesty no worse than a shaving cut right now.

    =====================================================================

    The school could smell the barest trace of blood. It was unlike their normal prey, but still somewhat appetizing. They turned almost as one, and began to follow the trail inadvertently left by their fellow. Closing in, their electroreceptors detected something massive, and could practically tasted the bounty it would be.

    =====================================================================

    Shioi had just about put the incident out of her mind, going forward in her patrol.

    Then it happened again.

    And again.

    And again.

    It was quite similar to one of her officers getting a paper cut, once she thought about it. Annoying, and somewhat painful, but not very damaging. Just taking bits of her outer hull.

    She looked, as she was, in some weird sense, a girl as well as a ship, and saw small lights flashing around her. Looking closer she noticed a small fish, barely 50 centimeters long, latching onto her anechoic tiles and ripping small chunks out of it.

    It was the weirdest thing she had ever seen, and the irritating thing was that she could do almost nothing do about it.

    After a few minutes of trying to think of a way to swat the things attacking her hull, she just decided to surface and see if they would go away.

    After about thirty minutes of the little bastards ruining her tiles, and her surfacing and having fairies try to fight them off pistols, they decided she wasn't worth any more effort. She did get a pretty good look at the things, and she was able to recognize some features that made identifying the things a possibility.

    =====================================================================
    The hunters retreated. The prey had risen to the surface, and small things the hunters had no conceptions of had managed to hurt their lateral lines and kill a number without biting them. Those that remained alive had fled, as this was not easy prey that would allow them their feast, as the similar tasting prey all those years ago had.
    =====================================================================

    She made what had been probably the weirdest call in her life, which had an admittedly small period she could actually call people in. Taking a deep breath because she was a little weirded out by the whole thing, she dialed a number and then said some word that she had never imagined herself saying.

    "Admiral? I think I just got attacked by school of sharks."

    So I've been sitting on this for maybe a year? I don't know why I never posted this previously, but I was cleaning my Google Docs and found this again, so I cleaned up some parts and decided to go ahead. If some parts seem different and (hopefully) better written, you can chalk that up to a year of writing experience being heaped on top.

    This was based on me reading an article on Bogleech about deep sea fish, and how Cookie Cutter Sharks took bites out of the Sonar domes of SSNs, which caused enough problems the navy apparently thought it was some secret Soviet weapon. I don't know what convinced them it wasn't, but the idea of the Cold War turning hot over fish biting submarines is darkly amusing to me. I could probably write another two hundred words on how fascinating I find these things, but I'm not. They do have some of the largest teeth proportional to total size of any vertebrate though, so that's neat.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I'm gonna be super busy all day today, but if this isn't threadmarked by this evening, remind me.
     
    Glitchrr36 said:
    She made what had been probably the weirdest call in her life, which had an admittedly small period she could actually call people in. Taking a deep breath because she was a little weirded out by the whole thing, she dialed a number and then said some word that she had never imagined herself saying.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I'm impressed she managed to ID them correctly. Cookie cutter sharks don't really look much like sharks. In particular, they lack the large dorsal fin commonly linked with sharks, instead only having the much smaller dorsal fins at the back that are ocassionally seen on sharks. Their pectoral fins are also closer to normal fish pectoral fins (or maybe eel pectoral fins) than to most other sharks.

    The only shark-like aspect to them is their tail. Well, that and the teeth. But there are other fish with teeth, so that's not indicative of being a shark.

    Also, cookie cutter sharks are adorable, from the right angles (and when not a dried-up display). Their fins and tail are so stubby compared to their body. They have huge eyes. And if their teeth aren't showing, they often look like they're smiling. So cute. Unfortunately, I suck at uploading images, but search for images on Google, and you'll see what I mean. (Note: I find many snakes adorable. YMMV.)
     
    Glitchrr36 said:
    The hunters stalked the deep waters in the middle Pacific. Powerful flicks of their tails propelled them through the deep as they watched the faded moonlight above. A pale glow emanated from their ventral surfaces, providing camouflage from what lurked even deeper. Noticing a partial blocking of the moon, one of the hunters swam up to investigate the disturbance. Should it find a feast, the scent of tearing flesh would call the rest of its school to a plentiful feeding ground.

    =====================================================================

    "It wasn't so bad down here at night, actually."

    Shioi, second of the I-400 class of super submarines, one of the most advanced submersible craft of her time, was returning to base after a long couple of weeks scouting the Abyssals. Her hull still shivered at the thought of the sheer wrongness those twisted mockeries exuded from their misshapen hulls. They weren't very far off, as well. Had there been any ships with planes she was well within the range of the fanged monstrosities they used.

    That had been an unpleasant thing to find once she'd launched her planes. They only had so much fuel, so to maintain proper reconnaissance, she'd have to recover her planes within the scoutcraft range of her targets. Nothing too difficult, but still a little nerve wracking.

    Surfacing quietly, she recovered her planes, stowing them quickly as the night was fast approaching and the moon was bright in a cloudless sky. Being spotted would be detrimental to her well being, and being sunk would be horrible. She'd been sunk once already, and didn't feel like repeating the process while also being hit by the depth charges and torpedoes abyssal destroyers would hold.

    Planes recovered, she returned to depth, aiming to put a few dozen kilometers behind her before she surfaced and returned to port.

    She puttered along, making good time. It grew monotonous quickly, but you know what they say, warfare is 99% being bored out of your skull and 1% wishing you were, so she supposed she couldn't complain. Now back to sneaking back to port.

    =====================================================================

    The lone hunter swam towards its quarry. The prey was unusual, but had an incredibly strong aura around it, suggesting it was good prey. Swimming forward alongside its prey's smooth grey skin, it fastened its sucker like lips and began rasping away a chunk of flesh, which it quickly spat out as it tasted awful. It did smell a faint whiff of blood, so it kept at it, looking for the soft morsels of flesh underneath the disgusting exterior.

    =====================================================================

    "Ow! What the hell?!?

    Shioi felt a small flash of pain from her hull along the bottom of her conning tower, and had absolutely no idea what caused it. She'd not had the misfortune of feeling much pain when she was still merely a submarine, but from what she'd discussed with the various other returned ships, it didn't feel like being hit with a bullet likely would, regardless of the fact it wasn't even possible for a low caliber round to penetrate more than a few feet under the surface. She was very certain that it wasn't a torpedo, as if she had been hit by a torpedo she wouldn't be having these thoughts right now. By the same logic, and the size and location of the impact, it probably wasn't a mine either, unless the Abyssals had very tiny mines to slightly irritate enemy submarines.

    She'd report this once she returned to base, there was nothing she could do about what was in all honesty no worse than a shaving cut right now.

    =====================================================================

    The school could smell the barest trace of blood. It was unlike their normal prey, but still somewhat appetizing. They turned almost as one, and began to follow the trail inadvertently left by their fellow. Closing in, their electroreceptors detected something massive, and could practically tasted the bounty it would be.

    =====================================================================

    Shioi had just about put the incident out of her mind, going forward in her patrol.

    Then it happened again.

    And again.

    And again.

    It was quite similar to one of her officers getting a paper cut, once she thought about it. Annoying, and somewhat painful, but not very damaging. Just taking bits of her outer hull.

    She looked, as she was, in some weird sense, a girl as well as a ship, and saw small lights flashing around her. Looking closer she noticed a small fish, barely 50 centimeters long, latching onto her anechoic tiles and ripping small chunks out of it.

    It was the weirdest thing she had ever seen, and the irritating thing was that she could do almost nothing do about it.

    After a few minutes of trying to think of a way to swat the things attacking her hull, she just decided to surface and see if they would go away.

    After about thirty minutes of the little bastards ruining her tiles, and her surfacing and having fairies try to fight them off pistols, they decided she wasn't worth any more effort. She did get a pretty good look at the things, and she was able to recognize some features that made identifying the things a possibility.

    =====================================================================
    The hunters retreated. The prey had risen to the surface, and small things the hunters had no conceptions of had managed to hurt their lateral lines and kill a number without biting them. Those that remained alive had fled, as this was not easy prey that would allow them their feast, as the similar tasting prey all those years ago had.
    =====================================================================

    She made what had been probably the weirdest call in her life, which had an admittedly small period she could actually call people in. Taking a deep breath because she was a little weirded out by the whole thing, she dialed a number and then said some word that she had never imagined herself saying.

    "Admiral? I think I just got attacked by school of sharks."

    So I've been sitting on this for maybe a year? I don't know why I never posted this previously, but I was cleaning my Google Docs and found this again, so I cleaned up some parts and decided to go ahead. If some parts seem different and (hopefully) better written, you can chalk that up to a year of writing experience being heaped on top.

    This was based on me reading an article on Bogleech about deep sea fish, and how Cookie Cutter Sharks took bites out of the Sonar domes of SSNs, which caused enough problems the navy apparently thought it was some secret Soviet weapon. I don't know what convinced them it wasn't, but the idea of the Cold War turning hot over fish biting submarines is darkly amusing to me. I could probably write another two hundred words on how fascinating I find these things, but I'm not. They do have some of the largest teeth proportional to total size of any vertebrate though, so that's neat.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Indianapolis: *twitches nervously*
     
    Dadmiral: Indianapolis, I'd like to introduce you to our recon unit, USS Shark
    Indianapolis: *runs away, screaming in terror*
    Shark: Did I do something wrong?
     
    Ironic...Indianapolis was found recently, and just a couple days ago the location of I-58 was confirmed as well. Now we know where both of them are. Even more interesting is that I-58 landed bow-first on the bottom, so she's stuck up at an angle.
     
    A shame Akebono isn't even in the story yet. Her hostility is amusing, and her foul mouth rivals that of Jersey.
     
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